Blue GhostGhost's Blog, page 109
October 9, 2012
"Sometimes love does not have the most honorable beginnings, and the endings, the endings will break..."
- ”The Sense of an Ending,” by Ann Patchett, Vogue, SEPTEMBER ISSUE 2012
The fact that I am a neurotic weirdo works out most of the time: I’m good at understanding artists...
The fact that I am a neurotic weirdo works out most of the time: I’m good at understanding artists needs, the relentless storm of internal freak outs has forced me to stop caring what other people think most of the time and I can usually put together something interesting about strange and specific topics. But lord have mercy we’re doing all these press releases right now and talking to reporters apparently makes me want to chew off my arm. This sort of focused attention on what I’m doing in the middle of a project turns my brain into something resembling a dial tone. Fuck fuck fuck. Waiting for this dude to call is killing me.
Caramelo
“Hey Papi, nice car. It yours?”
Johnny leaned out the window, looked in the direction of the voice and broke into a big alligator grin. “Jaime Florez, I swear you get taller every time I see you. Your cousins home?”
“No, sir.” Jaime got up from the step where he’s been sitting and sauntered down the driveway, leaning against the side of the green MG. He gave a low whistle. “Flashy, man. You trying to be some kind of big shot?” Jaime was wearing an old pair of acid washed jeans, dirty Chuck Taylors, and a tight black Cure t-shirt. He’d been closer to scrawny growing up but these days that was giving way to the tight lean muscle of adulthood. Johnny wondered if he was the only one to notice.
“You got business with mis primos? I think they’re at their dad’s. You want me to try calling?” Jaime waited as if anxious for him to say yes, to have at least that little thing he could do for Johnny.
Most of the kids in the neighborhood knew Johnny by now and he had friendly relations with plenty of them—it paid to be generous when you were starting out, a couple of bucks or a pack of smokes freely given. But Jaime was special—pretty and charismatic and always a little bit too sad. Johnny couldn’t help but talk and tease and do something that felt a hell of a lot like flirting when Jaime was around. It was a dangerous game, that one, but those liquid chocolate eyes had always been his weakness.
“Yeah cabron you like the car? Get in, I’ll take you for a ride.”
“Aye, aye, aye.” Jaime shook his head. “You need to work on that accent if you’re going to use fancy words like that, carbron.”
Johnny gave a snort. Anyone else and a comment like that might have pissed him off. He took his revenge all the same. “Oh yeah? You offering me lessons?” That got him a blush, creeping all the way down towards Jaime’s neck and oh wasn’t that a novelty, nothing liked the jaded company Johnny usually sated his appetites with. How old was the kid these days anyway? Fifteen, sixteen maybe? It was always hard to tell with the ones that had no real kind of childhood.
Jaime chewed his bottom lip a moment, looking back towards the small run down house with the yellow peeling paint. There it was again: that sad, lost look. Their eyes met. “Sure Johnny Hollywood. Whatever you want. Just take me out of here for awhile.”
He and his partner Nick really were doing all right these days. A few more months of dealing and they’d have enough for a down payment on that old strip joint up in North Beach—they’d be honest to God small business owners of all things. But that wasn’t even a fraction of the kind of ambition Johnny had. Sometimes it felt like he could burn the whole world up with the heat of his desires. He wondered what a boy like Jaime dreamed about—did he even dare? Did it matter if you were beautiful or clever if you lived in a neighborhood like this, full of addicts and gang violence, where your nature was a liability?
“Mmm. Come on, get in the car already.” Johnny told him. “I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
October 8, 2012
October 7, 2012
little1lost replied to your post: If I had watched Breaking Bad before writing Juicy…
Awww, I...
Awww, I love it just the way it is. I’d love to hear what you’d change, though!
Heh. I wrote Juicy Fruit based, in part, on my own experiences with my father. I think Johnny is who he imagined himself being. But I shied away from the day to day life in drug culture in JF and I think there is something really interesting there. I would have had more about what it means to live in a world defined by that. I would have had more gallows humor maybe.
I think something that all counter culture has had in common is that it doesn’t fall into step with becoming a marketable demographic. It craves things outside the mainstream, things that can’t have a sales tax or result in a 9 to 5 job. I would have talked a little more about the world turned on its head.
If I had watched Breaking Bad before writing Juicy Fruit it may have been a different kind of story....
If I had watched Breaking Bad before writing Juicy Fruit it may have been a different kind of story.
October 2, 2012
October 1, 2012
chainsawsavvy:
blueghostghost replied to your post: fffuuuckkk i need a job
or an internship!...
blueghostghost replied to your post: fffuuuckkk i need a job
or an internship! everyone I know with a good job in the arts had a few of those first.
…are….you… offering :v
also we should talk more because I miss youuuuu
Haha. Careful what you ask for. I have mad work to do!
