Blue GhostGhost's Blog, page 103
December 2, 2012
These are my life choices
A pretty good argument for why I need an editor.
Wait what whats going on? Art Criticism teasers? Updates? What are you doing? Theres a sequel? :D
Yes! I am fundraising in January (I hope) to write a sequel to Art Criticism. You can take a survey about what this might look like at the top of this page here. There are a few little draft bits: Here 1st, Here 2nd and then here and I try to tag most Art Crit related rambling so you can find them all here: http://blueghostghost.tumblr.com/tagged/art+criticism/
Ahhh you're killing me with these art criticism teasers!! How's it coming along? Have you figured out how you're gonna write it - like the whole indiegogo thing and all?
Hi! I am thinking I might start in January or February. I am still working on the outline and such and trying to figure out how long it’s going to be and how often I can realistically update. I think I have most of the plot arc for James and Turkish but I also want to tell a story about Portland and of course the art world so I am still figuring those parts out!
November 27, 2012
on being a backsliding queer or something like that
As we were falling asleep the other night I asked my sweetheart if he thought of me as “straight.”
“You know,” he said groggily. “I’ve never thought about it.”
“Really?” I asked very surprised. We’ve been together for 7 years now and he knows about pretty much most of my private business including their genders.
“I mean when we met I knew you were interested in me. That’s all I needed to know.”
Fair enough. It’s not like I have been very forthcoming about labeling my experiences into some kind of cohesive identity anyway, (I have my reasons.) So this person shares my bed, has gone through jobs, grad school and funerals with me. He calls us, our little unit of 2, a family. And yet he feels no need to define the terms of my sexuality, because our partnership is not about him owning every little piece of me. And if you have ever felt like an object for consumption, or like your body or your sexuality is being co-opted for somebody else, I hope you get to have someone in your life that is happy to be there but sees you as an equal and doesn’t fill in all the blanks to suit their own fantasies.
"Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what any..."
-
Frederick Douglass
I’ve been thinking about this quote all week—about all the ways in which oppression takes form. Hell, I do most of the heavy lifting myself these days every time I prescribe to some bullshit notion of what kind of person someone else thinks I’m supposed to be.
Every time I see this cat I think of James.
Every time I see this cat I think of James.
Tease Me, Baby
My first official cover! :O
Oh my God I love this so much Parker! I want one!
New Blue Prince chapter!
I’ve updated my epic tale of mystery, injustice and manly luuurve once again. We’re up to 21 chapters now, and this new chapter heralds some pretty big changes in certain persons’ situations.
Thank you to all the people who’ve been reading this so far, and for everyone who leaves me comments and encouragement. please keep it up. I promise it’s most of the way there now. I swear!
You guys if you don’t know about this story you should check it out. It’s my favorite WiP on AFF right now. It has a nice juicy plot and really complex interesting characters. You should read it and then we can all freak out together when it updates.
I hate James so much sometimes but then I love him because he's totally me and all my emotions are overflowing and filling my house and running out into the streets. Love ya.
To be fair Turkish is a liar and is not in a place to be “friends” either.
November 26, 2012
James does not apologize with his penis BTW
“I think you are being a little bit paranoid, man. Your boss seemed plenty chill with you taking off for a minute.”
“I’m not paranoid,” I say in a flustered tone, unable to meet eyes. “I just wasn’t expecting you to show up at my work is all.” Turkish doesn’t have an umbrella and the rain is making the curls of his hair cling to his skin as we walk briskly down the street.
“I tried calling you but your number didn’t work.”
Damn it. Damn everything to hell. “Mmm. Yeah I, uh, got a local phone.”
He looks nervous, hands shoved in his pockets as he follows me into the coffee shop. “I thought we needed to talk? Do you want to get lunch?”
I stop. “Talk?” An uneasy lurching feeling starts in my stomach. If he could look about ten times less attractive and I could stop picturing him naked that would be fantastic because I have no idea what we could say to each other but I’m pretty sure I don’t want to.
“Yeah, you know about what happened the other night. I really wanted to apologize. It was just such a surprise to see you after all these years and then I came on way too strong and what I wish we had done was a lot more talking.”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “I am completely fine with what happened so don’t worry about it.”
“Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.” He puts his hands up defensively. “No I mean it was hella awesome. I didn’t mean to suggest I wish we hadn’t but…”
“Yeah I don’t think I really need to talk about this.”
“What? No we have to talk, James.” I wish he wouldn’t use my name like that.
“No we don’t.” In fact, the sickening cold sweat feeling that is developing right now is telling me I can’t talk about this. Whatever Turkish is to me now, opening that door will have consequences I am not willing deal with.
“If we don’t work through this we are never going to be friends.” We fall silent. Good God this is awkward. When I don’t respond Turkish scowls. “So we fucked and now you’re just going to be an incredible asshole about it?”
Alarm kicks in instantly. “We are in public,” I hiss, grabbing him by the arm and steering him into a less trafficked corner of the shop. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? You want to know what’s wrong with me?” His voice takes on a tinge of irrational emotion. He almost never gets like this and when he does nothing pleasant ever comes from it.
“You got the Goddamn hotel room,” I counter. “You are the one that wanted to hook up not me. That was not a path to the friend zone and that wasn’t me forgiving you with my dick.” He looks like I just slapped him, his body suddenly stiff with anger.
“Go to hell,” he says. “You are such a child sometimes.”
“At least I don’t sleep with people in order to manipulate them into being my friend.” I can tell he’s really hurt but I don’t know what to do about it. I barely survived the last time we did this and I’m totally not over it and what the hell can either of us do about that anyway? So I just stand there and watch as he turns and walks out the door. It takes me a good five minutes to stop shaking.
