Anexis Matos's Blog, page 4

The Rightful Bride Chapter 25

“To who, My Lady?” Stella asks.

She stands behind the princess, disentangling her hair.

“My grandson’s event planner’s assistant,” Princess Eva says. “I would like you to extend an invitation for a private lunch with me. Also, extend this same invitation to Lady Ashlin.”

“For the same lunch I assume,” Stella says.

“Yes.”

Stella nods.

“The lunch is tomorrow,” Princess Eva says. “Come back with an answer from both.”

“I will,” Stella says.

Did you enjoy today’s chapter? Let me know in the comments. Feedback is also welcome.

I’m currently posting a first draft of a story. However, if you’re interested in seeing what my final products look like, check out my books. They’re available in many retailers, including Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Kobo. They’re also available in my shop.

I’ll leave you for now. Make sure to come back for the next chapter.

Spanish Audio Description of Obsession

As promised, here’s my critique of Obsession’s Spanish audio description. If you’re unaware, audio description is a separate audio track added to visual media that describes visual aspects. It’s mainly intended for blind and visually impaired audiences, but can be used by and benefit anyone. I have a previous post on Obsession. Check it out here.

Series Premise

Jay introduces his fiance to his family. His father is immediately attracted to her and they begin an affair where she establishes specific rules.

Series Information

Genre: Drama
Category: Adult
Explicit violence: No
Explicit sex: Yes
Content warnings I noticed: An implication of child sexual abuse

Review

I still don’t feel comfortable judging the writing of Spanish audio description, so I won’t critique it. I was able to understand everything for the most part. There may have been things that jumped over my head, but I got the important things.

The descriptions are very good. Characters’ appearances are described in detail, something I appreciate. However, the audio description still doesn’t clarify a problem I mentioned in my original review of this series.

Very early in the series, Ingrid expresses concern over Jay’s relationship with Anna. She sites her age, saying that Anna is too much Jay’s senior. However, we don’t know how old Anna is. We don’t get an idea of her age category which would have been very useful to understand Ingrid’s concern. Is Anna Ingrid and William’s age? I still don’t know.

The audio description doesn’t clarify anyone’s age category. Once again, I know William is in his fifties, but not because of the audio description. This series is based on a book which I plan to eventually read and the synopsis gave me this information.

The vocal performance is fine. Their voice is neutral, but still engaging. Their tone doesn’t change with the story. I would have loved if it did as it would illustrate the change. It doesn’t have to be huge. Even a small one would be sufficient.

The audio description is edited well. The describer doesn’t interrupt dialogue. They’re also not randomly cut off.

Currently, Netflix offers the series audio described in English, Spanish, French, German, Brizillian Portuguese, European Spanish, Hindi, and Italian. These seem to be most of the languages. However, Netflix still excludes viewers by not providing the series audio described in all the languages it’s offered.

Conclusion

Overall, this is a good audio description. I enjoyed listening to it. It was great on a late night. I rate it three stars. If you’ve listened to this audio description, let me know your thoughts in the comments.

A quick announcement before I leave you today. I’ve decided to make audio description critiques bonus content. I think I might do the same for some of my creative work as well rather than scheduling them with the reviews. This way, I can post the bonus content I’ve wanted to for some time.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading. I’ll see you soon.

The Rightful Bride Chapter 24

Melanie knocks on Marie’s door.

“Come in,” Marie says.

Melanie opens the door and makes her way to the dining room.

“Hey,” Melanie says.

Melanie takes a seat beside Marie.

“So,” Marie says, “while I want to spend time with you, I do have a reason for having this lunch.”

“What’s up?” Melanie says. “Is everything okay?”

Melanie takes a covered dish from the tray.

“No one in this contest is coming with an advantage,” Marie says. “Unfortunately, that means they’re going to be heavily scrutinised by the court. Some of them might know that based on the gossip forums they frequent, but I’m not sure they realize exactly how much they’ll be judged.”

Melanie nods, very much aware. It’s not really a surprise.

“Since you’re coming into this knowing what it is,” Marie says, “I don’t see why you shouldn’t have another advantage.”

“What kind of advantage?” Melanie asks with suspicion. What is her friend up to?

“I think we have time to teach you how to navigate court scrutiny.”

They can do that, but…

“It’ll look unfair,” Melanie says. “It’ll be too noticeable.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Marie says. “That’s part of what I can teach you.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’ll work out that way. It’s not enough time. We have about a month.”

“We can try. At least it’ll give you something.”

Melanie shakes her head.

“We won’t have time,” Melanie says. “I have work to do. I won’t have enough time to study anything regarding court etiquette. It’ll be stressful for me.”

Marie nods.

“Okay,” she says, “but I’ll keep an eye out for you.” She sighs. “They smell blood in the water. They’re going to destroy those women.”

“Keep an eye out for the others, too,” Melanie says.

Marie nods.

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll see what I can do.”

They eat their lunch in silence for a few minutes.

“Is there anything you need before everything starts?” Marie asks.

“Not that I know of,” Melanie says. “I should be fine.”

“Let me know if anything comes up. Remember, we have a month.”

“Stella,” Princess Eva says, “I need you to deliver a message for me.”

Did you enjoy today’s chapter? Let me know in the comments. Feedback is also welcome.

I’m currently posting a first draft of a story. However, if you’re interested in seeing what my final products look like, check out my debut, Daughter of Death. It’s available in many retailers, including Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Kobo in eBook and audiobook formats. It’s also available in my shop.

I’ll leave you for now. Make sure to come back for the next chapter.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman: I Feel Left Out

This was an interesting read. I wish I could have read it years ago, particularly in school. I feel I would have enjoyed it.

Synopsis

Coraline and her family move to a new place, but she’s bored. One day, she finds a door to another world.

Book Information

Genre: Fantasy
Category: Middle grade
Explicit violence: Some
Explicit sex: No
Content warnings I noticed: None
This is a standalone.

Review

The prose is great. It’s poetic, yet accessible and easy to read.

The story is told in third person past. It was, shockingly, not distant as it usually is. For the most part, it’s told in Coraline’s point of view. If I remember correctly, there are two small sections with someone else’s point of view.

This is a fast-paced story. I finished it in one day. The pacing makes sense, considering it’s middle grade. A slow-burn wouldn’t have worked.

The themes are well explored. They’re explored in ways that children can understand while not talking down to them. It reminds me of the way Avatar: The Last Airbender is written. While the stories have nothing in common, they’re both child-friendly, but make sure not to treat children as though they’re stupid.

The characters are great. Coraline is delightful to follow. There are two cases where I found myself relating to her.

The first is that her name is Coraline, but at least one person continuously calls her Caroline. Growing up, I’ve been called Alexis rather than Anexis. I used to correct people, but, at some point, I stopped. It’s easy to mispronounce my name, but that doesn’t make it less annoying. I still get this, but, like I said, I no longer correct people.

The second is when she talks about getting lost in her imagination. It isn’t until someone taps her on the shoulder that she realizes where she is. This feels like me when I write. It was a beautiful moment.

I really appreciate that Gaiman did not portray Coraline’s parents as all bad. The reader sees how difficult it is to keep children entertained, especially when they have no school or other activities. Her parents try to engage her to the best of their ability. The portrayal of the parents is important because it helps with Coraline’s arc.

Coraline doesn’t appreciate what her parents do in the beginning. She complains about her father’s cooking because he adds too many things when she wants something simple. As a very picky eater, I also relate to this. However, the moment Coraline gets everything she wants, she gets bored. There’s no structure. Where’s everything she used to complain about? This is what makes her appreciate her parents as well as the fact that, for a time, they’re gone.

Coraline’s arc is impactful because there’s so much nuance in the book. Being a children’s book doesn’t make it black and white. This is something any author can learn from reading this book.

Conclusion

I read this book as an adult, but I’m looking at it with nostalgia. That sounds strange, I’m sure. However, it’s an experience I’ve had before. When I watched the original Fruits Basket, I was hit with early 2000s anime nostalgia. To a degree, I felt the same with the reboot. There’s something about the story that brings that feeling out of me. The same thing can be said about Naruto, particularly with the first opening.

In this case, the nostalgia comes from the fact that it was published in 2002. In my journey to becoming an avid reader, I began with Ella Enchanted and other fairy tales the author wrote. Eventually, I added YA into the mix.

I started with older YA. These books were published in the early 2000s and have an entirely different feeling than today’s YA. The one series that introduced me to this reading category is Bluford High. I started with the fourth book, unaware that it was a series, but it worked out. They’re mostly standalone. There are a few that connect.

My first intruduction to newer YA was An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir. I read Divergent, but that was my introduction to YA sci-fi. I mostly read YA fantasy, so that’s why I didn’t mention Divergent as my first introduction.

Coraline felt like an early 2000s book. It reminded me so much of my YA beginnings. The writing style helped.

As I said previously, I would have loved to read this in middle school. It still hits as an adult, but I wonder what it would have felt like as a kid. I started reading Edgar Allen Poe at 14 and it was great. Reading it as an adult, I can see the genius in the writing.

Overall, this is a wonderful story. I rate it four stars.

The Voice in My Dreams Draft One: A Little Over 12000 Words

I started university with an English major with a concentration in Creative Writing. Since I had to take 12 credits, I decided to take four different Creative Writing classes, one each semester. That way, I would have a fun class. Since then, I’ve added a Spanish major andI’m hoping to get a certification to become an interpreter.

I wrote my debut fantasy on a break from another project. At the time, I was taking three classes, including a Creative Nonfiction course. This is the semester when I began getting very comfortable with my writing style, especially my descriptions, something I struggle to write.

When the semester ended, I had my first or second draft of my debut complete. I received feedback that summer and continued editing until very recently. I self-published the eBook and worked on producing the audiobook.

I didn’t know what Creative Writing course I wanted to take next semester. I looked to see what was being offered and found a romance class. It was on Thursday nights, but I took it anyway. It was the only time available.

I have a complicated relationship with romance. I love this genre. There are so many different types of romance. However, I tend to have a difficult time finding romances I love. This is usually the case with contemporary romance, but I’ve had great luck with fantasy romance. I find their characters to be more interesting and, because it’s fantasy, there’s so much authors can get away with. This also might have to do with the fact that fantasy is the genre I read the most.

The romances I wrote before were subplots. I wasn’t sure how I would do in that class, but I was excited to learn the craft.

I went into the class with the expectation of learning about the craft and to write an okay romance. I knew I would go back and edit the story, but I didn’t plan on making it my next release. I originally planned to release the next book in my Child of Death series, but things changed when I got into the publishing process. I needed a break from editing in this series.

I enjoyed writing the first draft of Daughter of Death. I didn’t have a plan for it, but I had a great time coming back to short stories after so many years. I was very proud when I finished it. I’m happy that it’s my debut. Now that I’ve published it, I’m happy it’ll reach other readers.

I also enjoyed writing this first draft, but I have to admit that the experience was not what I expected it to be. I have mixed feelings, but I’m still happy with how it turned out. Unlike previous and current experiences when writing a first draft, this one was stressful sometimes.

How I Usually Write a First Draft

The first draft is really fun for me. It’s my chance to get my first iteration of my story. This is my chance to put my idea to paper. I think of it as an incomplete story. I always take my stories through several rounds of edits.

Before I write my first draft, I need an idea. It doesn’t need to be the complete story. It just needs to be a starting point. For example, Daughter of Death was born from the question, “What would it be like to be the daughter of a god of death?”

If I get a fuly-formed idea, that’s awesome, but I’m a discovery writer, so I discover the story as I go. I have dabbled in outlining, but I can’t do it. I don’t feel like writing if I outline a story in full detail. I have tried it again recently. I found out that loose outlining works for me, but I don’t do it often. Usually, I use them to put an idea into paper when I’m working on other projects and can’t devote time to it. I don’t look at it after I outline it. That way, I won’t feel like I’ve writen the story.

After I get the idea, I start writing. I rarely edit during the drafting process. Instead, I write until I reach the ending. Again, I don’t have to know everything, so my story is usually not complete by the end of the first draft.

I take breaks during the drafting process. Most of the time, it happens because of writer’s block. For this reason, I’m always working on several first drafts at a time. I can move between them to avoid burnout and stress. I also currently edit at least one project while working on these drafts.

When I finish my first draft, I take weeks away from it. I’m too close to the story by the time I reach the end. Also, it helps with burnout.

Between starting and completing the first draft, it takes me at least three months. Depending on the length of the story, it could be more. The standard, though, is about the time of a 15 week college semester.

Unlike my usual first drafts, this one was written in a class setting. I eventually had to turn it in, but, beforehand, people would read pieces of my story. In a way, it was written like every other draft, but with less breaks. However, in a way, it was also written in phases.

Phases

I entered my first day of romance class with some knowledge of the syllabus. I already had an idea of what I planned to do.

Two options were outlined in the syllabus. The first was to work on a novella between 10000 to 15000 words. The other was to write two short stories between 7000 to 10000 words. No matter what option was chosen, one story would be workshopped throughout the semester.

The fact that one of my pieces would be workshopped was exciting to me. I love participating in workshops. Many times, I’m one of the first to volunteer to get a piece critiqued. I’m part of Envision’s College Success Program and one of the things I look forward to the most is the summer workshops. Since 2017, the Creative Writing workshop has been a staple.

I’ve gotten my writing critiqued since CSP’s Creative Writing workshop’s initial run. They’ve critiqued projects I’ve shelved and a draft of Daughter of Death. It’s the closest I’ve gotten to beta readers which I’m okay with. I don’t usually ask for beta readers because I believe it’s unethical not to compensate them or offer something in exchange for their time and, since I don’t work, I can’s spend a lot of money. In the workshop, I critique everyone’s pieces and they mine which I consider to be a fair exchange.

It’s a good idea to get your writing critiqued if you can because it’ll show you what you need to work on. Your writing should never be stagnant. You never stop learning, so your writing should always continue to improve. Getting it critiqued by others is a great way to do so because you’re too close to your work to see what could be done better. Also, if you can’t hire an editor, this is one way to edit your project. This is a process I use and have heard at least one author do something similar.

Remember that you know your writing best. Critiques are great, but you make the final decision. It’s important to keep this in mind because, in a workshop, you’re going to get different people giving you their opinions on your work. After, you’re responsible for looking at the critiques and suggestions and deciding the ones that apply to your work, the ones you might consider, and the ones you’re going to dismiss. Not all critiques are equal. As I’ll discuss later, not all of them are useful for one reason or another, even if people’s intention is to be helpful.

Getting my work critiqued by strangers didn’t concern me since I’ve had my writing workshopped before. I was not nervous at all. However, the way my work was critiqued is not an experience I’ve had before and it’s not one I want to repeat.

I decided to work on the novella. The idea was that it wouldn’t be very stressful since it was one project. Plus, it would be workshopped throughout the semester, so I would be getting feedback and I could make my story better. as I was writing it. I thought it would be similar to editing as I go as some writers do for their first draft.

Before turning in the project, we had to turn in three parts of the story, the meet cute, the chemistry and tension scene, and the black moment and resolution. We were separated into groups and we had to send each other critique letters. A week after the assignments were due, we would have a discussion in class about the critiques we received and gave.

Since each assignment was a part of the story, I wrote to make sure I had these specific scenes available to turn in. This wasn’t hard since I really enjoyed what I was writing. However, it affected the way I sorted through my feedback. Before these scenes, though, was the concept phase.

Concept and Title

One of my favorite days in this romance class was the first. My professor introduced us to the idea of asking, “I wonder what would happen if…” when coming up with a story concept. We threw out ideas for at least a few minutes during that first day. I now have a file titled with this question where I type up ideas. Each is one sentence.

By asking this question is how we came up with possible concepts. I believe it was the second or third week that we needed to decide on one. The meet cute scene was due in the middle of October.

Whatever my concept was going to be, I knew two things. First, it would be a fantasy romance. Fantasy is the genre I write the most, so it made sense. Also, I prefer fantasy romance over contemporary romance any time. There are some contemporary romances I love, but most of my favorites are fantasy.

Second, one of my main characters would be blind. I always write blind characters into my stories and that wouldn’t change for romance. Blindness representation is important to me, so I strive to write blind characters in every story. It’s also worth noting that I don’t see a lot of disability representation in most of the stories I read.

I settled on about five possible concepts. Ultimately, I decided on a sapphic Beauty and the Beast retelling. For some time, I’ve been trying to write one. Beauty and the Beast, despite the problematic aspects, is my favorite fairy tale. I love Belle. However, my first attempt didn’t work out, so I hoped this one would.

I didn’t want to retell the Disney version of the fairy tale, though. I remembered a version of this story I found during research a few years ago and heard told through the podcast Myths and Legends. This version, despite some of its problematic aspects, is somehow healthier than Disney’s version. I don’t know how that happened, considering the two main issues I can’t ignore.

In this version, Belle is named Beauty. The way she meets the beast is somewhat consensual. She has to willingly take her father’s place and there’s no kidnapping. She falls in love with a frince in her dreams. The beast turns out to be the prince in the end and, to my horror, they’re cousins. He was cursed because his caretaker, an evil fairy, who tried to seduce him when he was an adult and he rejected her. Three guesses on what two things I have a problem with.

Okay. No need to guess. I already mentioned incest, but I also have an isue with this evil fairy. It’s such a stupid reason to curse someone. Disney did this better, having someone curse the beast for being a terrible person. In this version, he’s barely a character and the fairy is a petty woman who got rejected. It’s both stupid and boring.

The dream sequence was a must. It’s something I wanted to explore in a different story, but I don’t think I did it as well as I could have. I wanted to really dive into the magic that went into it. I was very much looking forward to developing the romance in a world of dreams and see what I would do with it.

The Beauty and the Beast version I was working with had a mystery aspect to it. I knew immediately how I could add the mystery aspect. Make it a voice that can’t be identified. That gave me my title.

Throughout the concept phase, I struggled with my writing process and class needs. In this class, there were things I disagreed with, but my biggest struggle was trying to use a writing process I understand and doing what was needed for class. That was very frustrating for me. The process that was expected for me to adhere to wasn’t helpful for me.

The main two things I can think of that became an issue for me was figuring my characters’ GMC, goal, motivation and conflict and filling out a beat sheet. These things felt like outlining for me. I haven’t had a great experience with outlines. They feel restricting. I have, however, recently dabbled in very loose outlining. I don’t do it often, but, if I have an idea about what plotpoints I might use, I’ll make a list. After that, I don’t look at that outline so it doesn’t influence my writing.

The problem I had with figuring out my GMC and completing a beat sheet is that I didn’t have the answers and I was expected to have them. I don’t know my story or characters until I start writing. I discover everything as I do and, some time after my first draft, I make sure everything makes sense during editing. I use this process for every story I write, including the ones I type a very loose outline for. Again, I don’t look at the outline after I write it.

While I had my issues with the process, I tried to go by it. I started writing to see if I could provide some information. That wasn’t very helpful since I was only in the beginning stages. The information I provided for my characters, GMC and the beat sheet was not a lot. By the end, it also wasn’t very helpful because I ended up not using any of it.

Meet Cute

The first meet cute was easy to write. I knew what I wanted, so I went with it. I believe I submitted it before the due date. I also sent it to my group.

I received very useful feedback. However, while I considered all of it, I only ended up using one critique.

The meet cute was very fun to write because it’s where the two love interests meet. One of the best parts of romance is the tropes. They can influence your entire story. I knew from the beginning that I wanted to write a best friends to lovers romance.

It’s worth noting, once again, that tropes, cliches, and character archetypes are not bad. They’re tools and frameworks. How you use them is what’s important.

The best part about any trope is subversion. I knew I wanted to write a best friends to lovers romance, but how would I subvert it? How would I subvert it in a way that I as a reader would enjoy? I won’t spoil how I did it (at least not yet), but I’ll give you some advice if you’re looking to do it.

As a genre, romance is very formulaic. Nothing wrong with that. Predictability equals comfort. Some of us look for that. Why do you think I love Dragon Ball so much?

Subversion comes down to two elements. The first is understanding the formula. This includes structure, tropes, and conventions. This will give you an idea of what beats you need to include in your story.

The best ways to understand the formula of any genre is to consume stories in it. It helps if you enjoy it. You can also supplement your reading with writing craft books and courses. Two books I would recommend for the romance genre specifically are Crafting Category Romance: The Art of Fiction Haiku by Amy Lane and The Everything Guide to Writing a Romance Novel by Christie Craig and Faye Hughes. These books came out in 2020 and 2008 respectively, so, if you’re looking for publishing information and trends, do your own research. However, they still explain the elements of a romance very well.

Assuming you understand the formula, the second element is preference. What do you like or dislike about it? Keep or subvert what you like and throw away or subvert what you don’t. Before doing this, it’s important that you understand the rules to break them.

Since I read a lot of romance, I know how the stories usually go. I’ve read both friends to lovers and best friends to lovers romances and I don’t usually like how they’re written. When writing, I paid extra attention to make sure I didn’t include the things I hate, unless I planned to subvert them in any way.

Since my story revolves around dreams, the meet cute was obviously going to be in the dream realm. The main thing I needed to accomplish was to set up an interesting meeting. Because this was my first draft, I wasn’t focused on making sure they had chemistry during this first scene. I wanted to set up a little chemistry, but not a lot. I could work on that during editing.

I love when, in a romance, the love interests’ chemistry flies off the page. However, I love it even more when said chemistry is built up to. This was my intention when writing the meet cute. On hindsight, I was going to be handing in a short story, so a slow-burn wouldn’t have worked. Thankfully, I didn’t give up on it, so, when its published, it’s not going to look anything like the original story I turned in. It’ll have glimpes of it, but, with every draft, it’s getting better.

The biggest piece of feedback I got was that it felt like I started the story in the wrong place. There was a lot of exposition in this first attempt, so I understood the critique. Nevertheless, I tried to continue with the story I was writing. I started working toward the chemistry and tension scene. However, I soon realized I did start in the wrong place. I had writer’s block and didn’t know where to go, so I deleted everything I had and started from scratch.

Chemistry and Tension Scene

I’ve heard the advice that starting with a dream is a bad idea. I’ve heard it so much that I can’t tell you why this is the case. Part of it seems to be that it’s a cliche beginning, but I also know there’s more to it that I can’t remember.

Guess what? I started with a dream sequence. Scandalous, I know. How dare I?

Sarcasm aside, the dream sequence was the perfect beginning for my story. It establishes the tone. I love this beginning so much more than the original. My meet cute changed, but it was for the best. In the first iteration, I attempted to build up to the meet cute. In this one, they just met. I didn’t think of this approach because I felt it was important to build up to it. However, this approach allowed me the freedom to show what leads up to where most of the story takes place.

My critique partners were right. I started in the wrong place. However, upon reflection, that’s not all they inadvertently pointed out to me.

I love romance. Out of all the genres I read, it’s the one that always has a happy ending. It tends to be the most uplifting. However, I’m very picky with everything. I’ve always had a difficult time finding romances I absolutely love. This, at least, is the case with contemporary romance. With fantasy romance, it’s a lot easier.

All this said, I have one major issue with the romance genre. Most of the time, this appears in the category romances I read. The author will introduce a few different plotlines and sacrifice them to move the romance forward. I know that, first and foremost, the most important part of a romance is the romance, but, if other plotlines are added, they should be given the same attention.

In the category romances I’ve read, plotlines tend to be introduced in order to push the love interests to spend time together. After that, they’re ignored until they’re necessary to move something forward. By the end, they’re resolved very quickly after barely being on page.

Characters tend not to always feel layered. They feel like chess pieces for the author to move around as the plot requires. Many times, everything feels contrived.

It’s so rare for me to find a category romance I love. The concepts, though, are always interesting, so I keep giving them chances. I consider these like soap operas. There’s always a lot of drama for no reason. I have better luck with single-title romances.

I always intend for my characters to be as layered as possible. However, when I started this story, I failed to do that. I read a few category romances by that time and I was very close to doing what I hate seeing in the ones I’ve read.

I’m glad this was pointed out to me. I would have had a lot of editing to do to make it better during my second draft. Also, with this new beginning, I was no longer in writer’s block.

I was worried that this story wouldn’t do so well, so I started writing a backup one. However, I didn’t have to worry. After I restarted it, everything went smoothly. By the time the chemistry and tension scene was due, I finished my story. I ended up deleting the backup because I didn’t like what I wrote.

My favorite part about writing the chemistry and tension scene was attempting to write flirtation. This is where I let cringe take over. I’ve always enjoyed cringy or cheesy lines, so I decided to have some fun. I won’t tell you how I came up with my flirtatious dialogue because it would take the fun of finding out the references yourself. I’ll give you a hint, however. It’s based on music. I know. A little too broad.

A very important part about this rewrite is that I started exploring a subject I didn’t intend to. I took a shot at exploring ableism. More specifically, I took a shot at exploring it in my life and the way its affected me. It was an interesting exploration, but I’ll talk more about that later.

I’m pretty sure I turned in my chemistry/tension scene before the due date, but I don’t remember. What I remember is that most of the feedback wasn’t useful to me. I either thought about it and wrote it in or I didn’t think it would fit my story or writing style. This is where I learned that the rest of the feedback I’d get wouldn’t be helpful to me either. It became pretty obvious that I do best with feedback that involves a completed a piece or the beginning of one. Taking a random scene from my story and having someone critique it will do nothing for me.

I talked about the importance of feedback earlier. Figuring out what feedback is useful to you is a skill you learn from getting your work critiqued. Some things to keep in mind are your author voice, writing style, and your story.

One of the pieces of feedback I received was to use more figurative language. Personally, I don’t use figurative language because it means nothing to me. For example, if I was to write, “Her voice is a siren’s call,” it wouldn’t feel natural for me. It would feel forced because, in my opinion, it’s too vague.

Don’t get me wrong. Figurative language is all over everything I read. I cringe every time. I will say, however, that there are some figurative comparisons that make sense to me like something having the sound of midnight. For me, midnight is quiet and peaceful. You can sometimes hear a few sounds, but, for the most part, it’s very quiet. It’s the perfect time to write if I’m awake.

The problem is that, again, figurative language is vague. When used in comparison or to describe something, it doesn’t work for me as a reader or an author. It’s not a concrete comparison. It might be the fact that I’m blind, but I have a hard time understanding what it means. Because it’s so vague, it’s very difficult to imagine.

For this reason, I prefer using comparisons or descriptions with associations to physical things. For example, when I’m describing voices, I use food. Songs. Fabrics. Audiobooks. Candy. Anything that can make it easier to understand the description or comparison to me. At the end of the day, I’m my story’s first reader. If I don’t like it, I won’t be publishing it. When I’m editing, I look through everything, including the smallest things and get rid of them if I don’t like them. If something isn’t clear to me, it won’t be in my final product.

Because figurative language isn’t clear, I refuse to use it. When I read figurative language, my mind ignores it completely. I never remember it. Romance seems to have a lot of figurative language. I’ve seen a lot of lines that make me cringe. I’ve quoted some of them in my reviews. From what I remember, I couldn’t find anything wrong with the scenes. Not having the full context prevented me from fully engaging with the piece to critique it. I felt terrible since I wasn’t helpful to my group.

When workshopping pieces, keep in mind that you’re expected to give feedback, not just receive it. Not only did I receive critiques that weren’t helpful. I also wasn’t able to give effective feedback. From what I remember, I couldn’t find anything wrong with the scenes. Not having the full context prevented me from fully engaging with the pieces to critique them. I felt terrible since I wasn’t helpful to my group.

Since I didn’t get much help from this round of feedback, I asked my mentor from Envision’s College Success Program if she could give me feedback. She agreed, so I sent her my completed story. Well, what I thought was my completed story.

Black Moment and Resolution

Guess what? I absolutely forgot to write the black moment.

Yes. I know. How did I forget? It’s a part of most, if not all, romances. Usually, it makes itself known as something that breaks up the couple at the end of the story.

Because of this, I had to rewrite my ending. I originally didn’t build up to the black moment, but, before I forgot it, I was planning to make it an external conflict. That ended up changing when I rewrote the ending. Because of the ending I wrote, I needed to go back and add one more thing so it didn’t come out of nowhere.

The black moment and resolution scene was due a week after the chemistry/tension scene. It wasn’t difficult to rewrite the ending. Perks of having the story pretty much complete. All I had to do was rewrite one part.

I received critiques on this scene, but I can’t remember what they were. It was the last workshop. After that, my job was to edit and apply the feedbcak I was given.

I believe my mentor sent me feedback a little bit after my last workshop. I took her feedback and edited with that in mind rather than the feedback I received in class. It was a lot easier to apply and it was more useful.

I turned in what I knew would be my first draft. I was very proud of that first draft, considering it was the first time I wrote romance as the story’s main plot rather than a subplot. At the time, I was working on editing Daughter of Death. I, however, planned to make The Voice in My Dreams my next release.

The Purpose of a First Draft

The first draft is the first iteration of your story. Whatever process you use doesn’t matter. The important thing is to write the story. The first draft is your opportunity to take your idea and write it in as much detail as you can.

I’ve heard the advice that your first draft is going to suck. I don’t agree with this. It’s discouraging. It’s the kind of advice that makes me not want to continue with other drafts of my story.

I don’t go into my first draft with the mindset that it’s going to suck. I go into it knowing that it’s not going to be perfect. It’s also not the final product, so I have a lot of work to do to make it my version of perfect. Even then, others may not think it’s great, but I don’t write for everyone. I write for me. I believe that, if I like a story, it’s very likely there will be others who like it, too.

The first draft isn’t perfect, but it’s also not garbage. Writing the first draft is exciting. It’s your story’s first iteration and, while it’ll go through changes, the final version will be your idea of perfect.

When I write a first draft, I tend to be missing a lot of things. There are also things I purposely ignore like character and setting descriptions. These are things that I don’t care about when I’m writing my first draft, but will add during editing. I do my best work when I edit, even though it takes a lot of energy.

In this first draft, there are two things that were interesting to me related to my characters. Eve was a very layered character. However, Daphne was not.

Eve

I’ve said before that writing is therapeutic. It’s a great way to deal with my emotions. Sometimes, I’m not exploring a specific part of myself when I write. The simple act of writing grounds me. It’s very effective at helping me sort my emotions and deal with them when I’m ready to do so.

Writing Eve was an exploration of two aspects of my life I tend not to in stories. I have different relationships with both. Both, unfortunately, are a part of me. One occurs on a regular basis. The other required closure.

When I started the first draft for the second time, I inadvertently explored ableism. I was never intending for that to be a part of the story, but it slowly seeped its way in. I’m glad I did it, but I wonder what the story would have been like if I didn’t explore this theme.

I want to be very clear. I don’t think disability and its challenges need to be explored in stories every time its represented. It’s perfectly okay to have a character who has a disability and not touch on the challenges. We need more of those stories, actually. It’s at the author’s discretion how little or how much they want to explore disabilities and its challenges.

This is part of the reason I got very annoyed with at least one review of The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. At least one reviewer expected more exploration of Stella’s disability, but that’s not what the book is about. Plus, her disability shows itself in subtle ways. That’s more than enough. We need more stories where this is not the expectation.

It made sense to explore ableism in this story, even if I didn’t do it intentionally. The way Eve showed herself to me brought ableism into the picture in ways I recognize. I have to deal with it on a daily basis, so it was interesting to see how it would make itself known in a fantasy world. It’s not something I see in the fantasy I read, so it was an interesting experience.

The second aspect I inadvertently explored was my childhood education and bullying. There are things about my childhood I remember, but I don’t think I saw them with the clarity I did when I wrote them.

I explored my education before I came to the United States, particularly when I transitioned from a school for the blind to a mainstream one. For the two years I spent at that public school, I did nothing. Unless my teacher for the blind was in class, I would spend the afternoon sitting at the table with no work. The teachers didn’t do much for me.

I also went through bullying and it really fucked up my self-esteem. I was at a place where I hated being blind. Where being different was the worse. I hated everything that came with blindness.

I was right to feel that way. My feelings are valid. I’m also right to feel like my home country failed me as a person with a disability. It fails many with disabilities as it doesn’t have the resources to accommodate them, unfortunately. I’m also not sure how much they try to make resources available.

I’d like to take a moment to apologize to you, past me. You were right. You were right to feel anger. Rage. Disappointment. When others told you it was going to be okay, you were right to feel it wasn’t helpful. It’s not helpful. It never has been. I understand now. You deserved better.

There was a sense of closure when I wrote this part of my life into Eve’s character, especially when I changed parts of it. This is, of course, fiction, so I can do whatever I want. I can give Eve my life, but make her reactions slightly different to some situations. Perhaps these were things I wanted to do. I don’t know. I don’t remember if I ever considered reacting in any specific way.

I also got some inspiration from Phreaks, a really great Audible original with a character who is blind. It takes place in the 1970s, but some of the things explored in that audio series are still relevant.

While I explored these aspects of my life, I wrote wish fulfillment, too. Those of us with disabilities deserve to have those things as much as every able-bodied person. Unfortunately, we don’t always get to have those stories.

So, while I got closure, I also imagined a world where things can be different. There are paralels to our world, but with more positives. That was my favorite part.

Daphne

Unfortunately, Daphne was not as clear to me as Eve. She was clear enough for a first draft, but things were missing. I knew she was the love interest and what she represented. What I didn’t know was her backstory. How she ended up where she was.

In a first draft, I write what I know. I’ll find out everything else during editing. After all, I do my best work during that phase.

I wrote Daphne’s point of view, but flashbacks were all in Eve’s. It was not possible for me to write any of Daphne’s yet. For the most part, I think I did a good job writing her for a first draft. I was happy with her when I finished it.

Conclusion

Even as I write this, I still have mixed feelings about the experience with this first draft. On one hand, the fact that I wrote it for class made things slightly irritating in areas. However, there were parts I enjoyed.

As of writing, I’m in the editing process. I’m in my third draft and I have Daphne figured out. This book is also going to be my next release. Like with my debut, I’ll be self-publishing. For now, I have at least two more drafts before the book is ready.

The Rightful Bride Chapter 23

Rose makes her way out of the classroom, avoiding the kids around her. She shifts into her dragon form and flies to the palace, enjoying the sun on her wings. The wind caresses her cheek and holds the majority of her weight.

She lands in front of the palace door. The guard opens it for her.

“Have a good afternoon, Your Highness,” he says.

She flies up to him, nuzzling his cheek. He smiles.

“They dismissed you early today?” the guard says.

Rose nods.

“I don’t think there’s a special occasion,” he says, “but let’s not question it.” He smiles. “I’m not sure where His Majesty is, but there should be no one recording anymore.”

She nods, relieved. Harald said there would be a lot of people, but he didn’t explain why.

“Are you going outside today?” he says. “It’s a beautiful day.”

“Maybe,” she says in shadow tongue.

The guard nods. She knows he doesn’t understand. Harald doesn’t either, but they listen to her all the time.

“Let someone know if you’re going outside,” he says. “We can keep you away from the cameras.”

She nods, flying to her feet.

“I’ll see you later,” he says. “Make sure you eat well.”

She smiles and runs inside the palace. She finds Harald through the bond and quickly makes her way to his suite. She greets the staff and some courtiers, but she only stops for Lady Ashlin.

“Hi, sweetie,” she says. “Can I pick you up?”

Rose flies up to her. Lady Ashlin hugs her.

“How was school today?” she asks in shadow tongue.

“Good,” Rose says. “I’m out early.”

“That’s always good. It was always my favorite part when I went to school, but I didn’t go in the morning. I always went in the afternoon. Where are you going?”

“To see Harald.”

Lady Ashlin smiles. She strkes Rose’s wing.

“Can you help me avoid the crowd?” Rose asks.

“Sure,” Lady Ashlin says. “I’ll take you to Harald’s suite.”

Lady Ashlin and Rose make their way through the crowded palace halls. Some wave at Lad Ashlin. She waves back with a smile. Rose waves to a few.

They arrive at Harald’s suite a few minutes later. Lady Ashlin knocks on the door.

“Come in,” Harald says.

Lady Ashlin opens the door and they enter the sitting room. She makes her way to the dining room.

“Hey,” Lady Ashlin says as Rose flies off her shoulder. She flies toward Harald, wrapping her wings around him when she lands on his shoulder. “There was a pretty big crowd out there.”

He hugs Rose, kissing the top of her head.

“Hi, baby,” he says. He smiles. “Hi, Ashlin. Thanks for bringing her.”

“Sure,” she says. “I don’t mind. She’s great company.”

Rose nuzzles Harald’s cheek and jumps off his shoulder.

“I’m going to get ready,” she says in shadow tongue.

Lady Ashlin translates.

“Okay, sweetie,” he says.

Rose leaves the suite.

“I should–“

“Why don’t you join us for lunch?” he says. “I’ve done a terrible job at bringing you into the fold. I’m sorry.”

Ashlin smiles. When she came to court, she knew he wouldn’t be able to bring her into the fold. She might be one of his best friends, but he can’t control the court’s feelings toward her. The fact that she’s a minor lady makes it close to impossible for her to fit in here.

“It’s okay,” she says. “I know you’re busy.”

He stands and approaches her. He pulls her into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I heard things have been very difficult for you. Are you okay?”

It could be much worse. She could be back home, pretending to be the ward of a father who never wanted to take responsibility for her. At least she can make her own reputation here, even if she won’t be accepted by the high society courtiers.

“I’m okay,” she says. “It’s not so bad. Your moms really like me.”

That’s something. It’s progress as far as she’s concerned. She has the favor of the princesses and Princess Natalie’s wife.

That’s something. It’s progress as far as she’s concerned. She has the favor of the princesses and Princess Natalie’s wife.

Harald smiles.

“Of course they like you,” he says. “Why wouldn’t they?”

Harald has never noticed why people would dislike her. Too blunt. Not feminine enough.

She kisses his cheek, stepping out of his arms.

“Thanks for the invitation,” she says, “but I think you have a long conversation with Rose about the crowd.”

“I do,” he says. “I was supposed to explain last week, but she got sick.”

“She seems okay today.”

“Her reaction to the rain is getting worse.”

Ashlin nods.

“I don’t think it’s going to rain this week,” she says.

“The forecast says it shouldn’t,” he says. “Anyway, can you stay? Besides wanting to spend time with you, I need some help having this conversation with Rose.”

Ashlin nods.

“Alright,” she says. “I’ll help you out.”

Rose enters a few minutes later. She sits between Ashlin and Harald and folds her wings.

They eat lunch in silence.

“I know,” Harald says, “that you’re wondering why there are so many people in the palace.”

Rose nods.

“There’s someone I need to find,” he says, “and they’re helping me. There’s going to be a lot more people”–he picks her up and wraps her in his arms–“but no one is going to hurt you. I promise.”

Rose looks up at him, eyes wide. More people?

“She looks very scared right now,” Ashlin says.

He holds her tightly, considering his next few words.

“How does spending some time with Grandmother Eva sound?” he says. “There will be no cameras there and you know how she is about visitors. Would you like that?”

She hesitantly nods.

“You can also spend some time with Ashlin if you want,” he says.

“I’d be okay with that,” Ashlin says. “I plan to stay very far from the crowd and cameras.” Ashlin smiles. “We can have as many sleepovers as you want.”

Rose smiles.

“By dinner,” he says, “they’ll be done recording.”

Rose nods. Harald kisses the top of her head.

“It’s nap time, my love,” he says. “Do you want to stay in my room?”

She nods, nuzzling his cheek. She unfolds her wings and flies out of the dining room, waving goodbye to Ashlin.

“Sleep well,” Ashlin says.

Harald turns to her.

“What do you think?” he says.

“I think it went well,” she says. “You?”

“Still worried.” He considers. “Did she ever mention to you why she’s hesitant to be around a lot of people?”

“No. Sorry.”

Harald nods.

“So,” he says, “are you sure you’re going to be okay with what I’m assuming will be a lot of time with Rose?”

“Sure,” she says. “I don’t have a problem. I’ll help Princess Eva take care of her.”

“Thanks.”

Did you enjoy today’s chapter? Let me know in the comments. Feedback is also welcome.

I’m currently posting a first draft of a story. However, if you’re interested in seeing what my final products look like, check out my debut, Daughter of Death. It’s available in many retailers, including Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Kobo in eBook and audiobook formats. It’s also available in my shop.

I’ll leave you for now. Make sure to come back for the next chapter.

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer: This Knows Exactly What It Is

I watched a review for this book and was immediately interested. A villain and his assistant? Employee and boss romance? Count me in.

Synopsis

Evie finds herself unemployed. By chance, she’s forced to accept work from the kingdom’s worse criminal.

Book Information

Genre: Fantasy romance
Category: Adult
Explicit violence: Some
Explicit sex: No
Content warnings I noticed: None
This is the first in Assistant to the Villain series.

Review

The prose is great. Accessible and easy to read.

It’s written in third person past and switches between Evie and the villain’s points of view. It’s surprisingly not distant which is what I would expect from this POV. I’m happy about that, considering the characters we’re following.

While the writing is great, I don’t think the prologue is necessary. It could have been the first chapter rather than a prologue and a passage of time. We don’t get to see Evie in her role in the beginning, something I would have enjoyed.

The world-building is good. There isn’t a lot of it. What we have, however, is enough to set up the world for later books. This story is very character-driven, so we’re seeing whatever the characters are. We don’t need a lot of world-building in this first book, but what we got is more than enough.

The romance is adorable. At first, it’s not very obvious. Evie is attracted to the villain from the very beginning, but she doesn’t recognize that she’s falling in love. For the majority of the story, neither does the villain.

It took me some time to recognize the romantic aspects of the book. It’s done in such a clever way, giving the reader tiny clues that there is a romance. From this first book, I can tell it’s going to be a slow-burn romance. My favorite type. It also helps that they have amazing chemistry.

The pacing is good. It’s very fast-paced, but it works. Things are still built up to and nothing feels out of place because of what the story is.

Themes of friendship, family, and identity are explored very well. Most of them are explored through Evie, but they touch on these with the villain, too. I assume there will be more exploration in the sequel.

The characters are amazing. They’re fleshed out and, while their arcs are not complete, the beginnings of them are expertly written. The dynamics are delightful. While there’s a lot of comedy, there are also a lot of emotional scenes.

Evie reminds me of Torhu from Fruits Basket. She’s a people pleaser. The one person who sacrifices everything for everyone else. She’s a caretaker and, unfortunately, there are those who take advantage of her. The only difference between Torhu and her is that Evie’s arc suggests there might be a struggle between pleasing others and following what she wants.

The villain is mysterious. We get the backstory, but it’s more than halfway through the story.

The only critique of the story that I have is that I would have liked to see more villainy. Evie is the assistant to the villain, but we don’t get to see the crimes they commit. It would have been really interesting to see that.

Conclusion

I think you’ll like this story if you like cozy fantasy and Nimona. It’s very funny. The relationship between Evie and the villain reminds of Nimona and the villain in that story. While this is a romance, it mirrors the friendship and closeness they share.

Overall, this is a great story. I can’t wait for the sequel. I rate it four stars.

New Release Tomorrow!

It’s been about two weeks since I posted. Sorry about that. I’m heading toward the end of my semester and didn’t schedule enough posts. I’m going to make sure to do that for the fall semester.

In any case, I have exciting news! I have a book coming out tomorrow! No, it’s not the second book in the Child of Death series. It’s a poetry collection!

If you’ve enjoyed the poems I’ve published here, make sure to pick up Pieces of Me in your favorite retailer. It contains 20 poems and, if you enjoyed Daughter of Death, you get a teaser for the second book, The Beginning of Us! Make sure to check out the collection here or in my shop.

Thank you for your support and thanks in advanced for checking out my new book. I’ll be back with a new post soon.

Let’s Play Pretend

Let’s play pretend.
The world is not an awful place.
It’s not a broken place.
Nothing needs to change.

Let’s play pretend.
My life
isn’t shattering around me.
Pieces of me
aren’t being shredded
like an unwanted letter
that arrives in the mail.

Let’s play pretend.
I’m not struggling
to ask for something
that should be given
without so much work.
That I didn’t cry
in front of an unseen audience
because of you.
That you have not disappointed me
after so many years
of giving me hope.

Do you still want to play pretend?
Will you not apologize
for all the harm you’ve caused?
For all the sadness?
For all the heartbreak?
For all the stress?

Here I am,
hoping again.
Like you’ll listen.
Like you’ll ever apologize.
Like you won’t disappoint me.
Like you won’t give me hope
and break me again.

You’ll play pretend.
You’ll always play pretend.
You’ll drag me along with you.
Keep me against my will
until there’s nothing left of me.

A Priestess So Clever and Kind

There once was a princess,
so clever and kind
born to a kingdom
where hearts were left behind.

Her world was cold,
so dark and bleak.
She was always silent,
for she could not speak.

Magic paid a visit
on stormy skies of gray.
They saw her potential
and chose to stay.

A gift she was given,
one with no strings,
but visions followed,
forming dark rings.

In silence she grew,
for secrets she kept.
She was betrothed to a stranger.
In silence, she wept.

The wedding day came.
She played her part.
She made a request,
choosing her heart.

From princess to priestess,
the change was fast,
but not all was well.
Her peace would not last.

A mother’s death
created sharp thorns.
She held on to kindness,
but vengeance she swore.

Her work paid off.
Death’s servant she became,
but before they met,
she knew they were the same.

A companion Death asked for.
She willingly agreed.
Her magic smiled,
waiting to be freed.

Death was kind,
though their work was not always so.
He took her thorns,
letting white flowers grow.

Visions came again.
She saw her end.
Another secret to keep,
for Death’s rules must not bend.

Love paid a visit
on rays of dark light.
She ignored it,
but Death took flight.

She saw Death change.
Cover the world in mist,
but when he claimed her,
she could not resist.

A year she stayed.
A year she flew.
Time was running out,
but her love only grew.

Her end came.
Death reached her with ease.
After their last kiss,
she begged for peace.

Death granted her request,
for how could they not?
She was theirs,
the woman fate to him brought.

To the mortal realm
a visit was paid.
Cloaked in shadow,
grief was Death’s aid.

The killers were found.
Death set the stage.
Claiming their souls,
Death unleashed their rage.

There once was a princess,
so clever and kind
born to a kingdom
where hearts were left behind.

There once was a priestess,
so clever and kind
who earned Death’s love.
Love that still binds.

Beware the priestess,
so clever and kind
for from Death she was taken.
Now the world is blind.