Anexis Matos's Blog, page 3

My Vagina’s Crime

For four days every month,

I get an unwanted visitor.

She never announces herself.

Never knocks on the door.

She’s only too happy

to disrupt my life.

I’m in no physical pain,

but I’m still in pain.

I will be

for many years

because I’m not lucky enough

for her to go away early.

I suppose I can befriend her,

but I hate her.

I only tolerate her

because I have no other choice.

Her first visit

was unknown to me.

It all started

with a few drops of blood

on my underwear.

I don’t remember

feeling wetness.

I don’t remember

its scent reaching me.

Someone

told me about her arrival

a month later.

I grew up knowing about her,

but I understood

she would only offer

physical pain.

My physical pain

is not too bad

if I get any.

It only lasts

a few hours

and it rarely

comes at all.

Since I was forced to be her accomplice,

no one could know about the blood,

so I wore pads for years.

They stuck to my underwear

and were uncomfortable.

They were diapers

that only lasted

four hours.

If they stayed on longer,

the crime scene

would be visible

to whoever was paying attention.

I found another way

to be her accomplice.

Special underwear

covers up the crime

for 20 hours.

At least now

I can pretend

I’m not an accomplice.

For four days every month,

pieces of me

are taken by her,

but my choices

are limited.

I’m forced

to let her take me piece by piece.

Naked

My bathroom has a mirror

that I stand in front of

every day.

We’re about the same height,

but it’s part of a cabinet,

so it sits

a few inches

from my face.

I used to pretend

I could see myself in mirrors.

When I put on makeup,

I told people

I was looking at myself.

I don’t pretend anymore,

but what would I see

if I could?

Would I pay attention

to a specific part of my face?

To what I think

are too large breasts?

The one part of my body

I don’t like?

Would it be

to the parts I don’t care about?

My armpits and vagina,

always covered in hair?

The legs

I refuse to shave

because it feels strange?

Or perhaps I’ll see nothing.

What is there to see,

besides the obvious?

Nothing too interesting.

Nothing new.

Just the usual.

The Rightful Bride Chapter 29

Rose wraps herself around Harald, burying her face in his shoulder as hot tears stream down her face. Harald hugs her tightly against him.

“Be careful,” Sebastian says. “Those tears can burn you. It may not be so strong right now since she’s still a cub, but still.”

Harald nods, distracted. He’s not sure why she’s crying. Why she’s wrapped herself around him like when she was a baby. What’s scaring her so much?

“I’ll tell you later,” Sebastian says. “Calm her down first. Maybe put her to bed. She needs some reassurance, but you might be the only one who can give her that.”

Harald kisses the top of Rose’s head.

“Do you want to stay here tonight?” he says.

She nods, shifting in his lap.

“Okay,” he says. “You’ll stay with me tonight.”

She nods, coughing.

“Is it going to rain?” he says.

“No,” Sebastian says as Rose shakes her head.

Her tears stop a few minutes later. She falls asleep wrapped around him.

“What happened?” Harald says.

“She’s afraid of the cameras,” Sebastian says, “because, before she came to the palace, the people that kept her used cameras to watch her all the time. They were  everywhere.”

“It’s bringing back memories for  her.”

“Yeah. I know we can’t stop this now, but this may be the worse idea we’ve come up with.”

Harald holds his baby sister, stroking her wing.

“I think you’re right,” he says, “but we can’t cancel. It’s already been made public. We can keep her away from the cameras, but–“

“Yeah,” Sebastian says.

They’re silent for a minute.

“I can make sure the recording is more discreet,” Sebastian says, “but that might not change anything. She’ll still be able to see them if she’s looking for them. I think she might be.”

“Hmm,” Harald says, considering. “I can reassure her, but I don’t know if she’ll really believe me.”

Rose coughs.

“The stress might be making her sick,” Sebastian says. “It’s not surprising.”

“Isn’t that why you took some time off a few months ago?” Harald says.

“Yeah. I was burning up.”

Harald nods.

“Here’s another thing to consider,” Sebastian says. “Are you going to introduce her to the women?”

“No,” he says. “Absolutely not. Not unless I can trust them, but that’ll be an exception.”

The door opens.

“Rose has not done that for years,” Mother Irina says. “What happened?”

Sebastian explains as she sits beside Harald.

“Oh,” Mother Natalie says. “Are you sure you want to continue this? I’m sure we can make some excuse.”

“I don’t think it’ll work that well,” Harald says. “The public will feel disappointed and I don’t want a scandal.”

The women sigh. That’ll always be a problem in their lives.

Rose whines as she coughs.

“You’re lucky,” Mother  Irina says, “that shadow dragons can’t make you sick.”

“Especially since she gets sick often,” Sebastian says. “That powder that Vivian sent should help.”

Chocolate milk is ordered and Harald wakes Rose. She refuses at first, but he manages to persuade her. She drinks the milk with no complaint and falls asleep again.

“It’s like she’s a baby again,” Mother Irina says.

He met Rose in unusual circumstances. He returned from school for the summer. Sebastian, Marie, and Ashlin decided to spend vacation at the palace.

“Sweetheart, stop!”

Harald was on his way to his room when the shadow dragon matron yelled in irritation. Claws grabbed his ankle. He blinked at the twinge of pain, bending toward the cub. He sat on the floor and the cub climbed into his lap and curled up against his chest.

Her body was sticky, but it didn’t feel like candy or a similar consistency.

“Your Highness,” the matron said, “I’m sorry. She just arrived and–“

“It’s okay,” he said. “Why is she sticky?”

“It’s blood. She’s heavily injured and refuses to allow us to care for her.”

The shadow dragon cub shifted closer, laying her head in his chest. She whined.

“I know you’re hurt,” the matron said. “Come. We’ll make it better.”

She shook her head, screeching.

“She seems calm with me,” Harald said. “Maybe I can help.”

A moment of silence.

“Alright,” she said. “Do you need my help?”

“No,” he said. “Thank you.”

He stood, careful not to move her.

“I’ll get her to a healer,” he said. “I’ll keep you updated on what happens.”

“Alright,” the matron said. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Of course.”

He left with the shadow dragon cub in his arms.

“We’re going to see some friends, okay?” he said. “I don’t know why you didn’t want the matron to care for you, but you’re hurt.”

She nodded hesitantly.

“I’ll be there the entire time,” he said. “I promise.”

He found Sebastian, Marie, and Ashlin in his sitting room.

“Hey,” he said. “I need some help.”

“What happened to you?” Ashlin said. “You’re bleeding and so is the shadow dragon in your arms.”

He explained how he met her.

“Your cut doesn’t look that bad,” Marie said, “but she has no wings.”

He sat on the couch between Ashlin and Marie.

“Can you let my friend help you?” Harald said.

The cub nodded and Harald shifted her, laying her on his lap. Marie touched her leg. The cub flinched, but stilled when Harald touched her cheek.

Ashlin moved to the floor and pressed her hand to his cut. A moment later, she moved away.

“You should be fine,” she said.

Sebastian spoke in shadow tongue. The cub replied.

“Oh,” Sebastian said. “Her name is Rose. She said she knows you, but you don’t know her.”

“How?” Harald asked.

Rose screeched.

“Her  mom,” Sebastian said. “She said her mom knew you.”

Nostalgia

Nostalgia

is an old friend.

Sometimes,

it’s known to you.

Other times,

it’s a stranger,

but you just know it.

A song.

A vibe.

It doesn’t matter.

Even as a stranger,

you know it

when you see it.

Nostalgia

is the friend you reach out to

when nothing is working out.

It comforts you.

Distracts you.

Gives you

a moment of rest.

A moment of peace.

Nostalgia

is sometimes hated,

but also beloved.

It’s beloved

by people like me.

I’m overwhelmed often,

but nostalgia is always there,

ready to offer its warm embrace.

Predator

I lost touch with her

years ago,

but, with the grace and intelligence of a predator,

you found her.

You found me.

You slid into my messages

by taking over a part of her.

You gave me what I wanted.

What I needed.

A flexible job

that would let me write.

I think you knew trouble was coming,

for when it did,

you disappeared,

leaving me to pick up the pieces.

Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan A Quest for Family Reunion

I can’t remember where I heard about this book. I remember wanting to read it, but it came back to my attention recently. I decided to borrow it from the library and am glad I did.

Synopsis

Xingyin, daughter of the moon goddess, is forced to flee her home. When an opportunity presents itself to train with the prince of the Celestial Kingdom, she takes it in hopes that she’ll be able to help her mother.

Book Information

Genre: Fantasy

Category: Young adult

Explicit violence: Some

Explicit sex: No

Content warnings I noticed: None

This is the first in the Celestial Kingdom duology.

Review

The prose is beautiful. It’s accessible and easy to read while remaining poetic. It reminds me of the writing style of Natasha Ngan and V.E. Schwab.

The story is told in first person past in Xingyin’s point of view. The only issue with this POV is that we don’t get to see everyone else’s character arc. We’re only in the main character’s point of view. It’s hard for other characters to be featured in a way that makes them feel like they’ve gone through an arc.

The world-building is fine. I don’t feel we see enough of it. I think more details could have been added to it.

The romance isn’t great. Xingyin and the prince have no chemistry. She and the captain do, but he doesn’t seem to be the final love interest. I don’t like this love triangle. In my opinion, a good love triangle has the character have good chemistry with both love interests.

The pacing is good. Things happen at a medium pace. While everything is built up to, important connective tissue is missing. For example, before the romantic subplot, there’s a two-year time-skip. Then, it comes out of nowhere when the prince confesses his love to Xingyin. She, for reasons not shown well on the page, reciprocates. We see their friendship, but not their romantic chemistry.

Themes are explored somewhat well. I think they could have been displayed better. They don’t have a lot of time on the page. The themes best explored are friendship and familial relationships, at least with Xingyin. I hope these are further explored in the sequel with the prince.

The characters are okay. Most don’t feel like they have an arc, but, as I’ve mentioned before, that’s the issue with a first person point of view. Xingyin barely feels like she has an arc. Everything works out too easily for her. While she doesn’t feel like a blank canvas, she’s too close to it.

Conclusion

Overall,  this is a good story. I’m excited to read the sequel. I rate it four stars.

The Rightful Bride Chapter 28

A knock interrupts Harald’s work.

“Come in,” he says.

It’s probably Rose. When she woke up, she did her homework with Lady Elena before going to play outside.

The door opens.

“Hi,” Melanie says. “I’m bringing Rose to you. I have to go in a little bit.”

Rose flies to him, settling herself on the chair arm.

“Thank you,” he says. “She was with you the entire time?”

“She has,” Melanie says. “She stayed in my office. She’s done it before, usually when there are a lot of people in the hallways. This time, it’s the cameras.”

“I see. Where was Lady Elena?”

“I don’t know that.”

Rose screeches.

“Oh,” Melanie says. “She said Lady Elena allowed her to go play as long as she returned by dinner.”

“Okay,” he says. “Thank you.”

“Sure. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Melanie leaves the study. Rose carefully taps Harald’s NetPad with a claw.

“I’m almost done,” Harald says. “We’ll have dinner in a few minutes.”

Rose waits patiently while he finishes writing out a letter. He schedules its arrival and stands. Rose lands on her feet and walks beside him, stretching out a wing. Harald places a hand on it.

The suggestion of Rose being trained to be his service dragon came days after she arrived.

“With how attached she is to you,” the shadow dragon matron said, “she could make a good one. It has been shown that shadow dragons who train as cubs are better service dragons. If they’re assigned as cubs, they grow attached and protective of those they’re meant to help.”

“No,” he said politely, but firmly. “I’d rather let her grow up and decide.”

As the daughter of who was to be his service dragon, it’s an expectation for Rose to follow her path. Rose was a baby, though. One who refused to separate from him. One who refused anyone else’s care, not even his mothers’. She wrapped herself around him every time someone tried to touch her, claws extended. He soothed her enough for her to release him and greet people, but it was clear she didn’t want to engage them in any conversation, even if they were shadow dragons. He compromised with polite greeting.

Rose learned how to guide him weeks into her arrival. Without her wings and with her being much smaller, it was not always efficient and she resorted to burning obstacles out of their way when she couldn’t figure out how to get around them. She had good control of the wind, so, sometimes, she blew away minor obstacles.

“We can’t do that,” he said patiently. “We try to avoid obstacles, but we have to try to get around them when we can’t.”

Rose seemed unaware of the damage she was causing, especially when they were out of the palace. She listened and tried harder to guide him better. She never crashed him into objects.

“You’re doing a good job,” he said.

She’s a lot more patient and insists on guiding him, even when there’s no need for it. He allows her. It seems to make her happy.

Rose guides him through the maze of quiet hallways. Her height is to his shoulder, making it easier for him to follow her. She adapts to his pace all the time.

When they reach his dining room, Rose points out the tray on the table.

“Okay,” he says. “I’ll be right back. You can start eating if you want.”

She nuzzles his hand and flies to her chair. Harald enters his dressing room. As he changes, the door opens and Sebastian speaks to Rose in shadow tongue. In her mortal form, she speaks the common tongue fluently, but she only shifts into that form for classes.

Harald joins them a minute later. He sits beside Rose.

“Hey,” Sebastian says. “Did you get everything done?”

“I did,” Harald says. “You?”

“Thankfully, yeah. I have some plans for Wednesday, so–“

Harald blinks.

“You have plans?” he says.

“Don’t be so surprised,” Sebastian says. “I have plans sometimes.”

Rose screeches.

“I know, Rose,” he says.

“What?” Harald says.

“She’s defending you. She says that I technically don’t go out a lot.”

“She’s right, you know.”

Sebastian sighs.

“Okay,” he says. “I know I don’t go out, but, sometimes, I have plans.”

They eat in silence for a few minutes.

“Rose,” Harald says, “I have a question for you. You’re not in any trouble. You can speak freely and nothing will happen.”

Rose considers. Is something wrong?

She nods hesitantly.

“I noticed,” Harald says, “that you seem afraid of the cameras. Am I right?”

She should probably shift into her mortal form, but…

She jumps into Harald’s lap, laying her head in his chest. She nods.

“Can you tell me why?” he says.

Her heart races. She looks at Harald and Sebastian. She’s never talked to anyone about what she remembers from back then. She never wanted to.

She’s silent for a minute. Very hesitantly, she starts talking.

The Rightful Bride Chapter 27

Stella can’t find the assistant. She sighs, walking through the the hallways. She stops a few maids and asks for the assistant.

“I saw her at the garden,” one says.

“Thank you,” Stella says.

Screeching and laughter catches Stella’s attention. A young shadow dragon flies up to a young woman’s shoulder. She looks around.

“The cameras aren’t here,” the woman says. “They’re not supposed to be if you’re playing.”

Stella smiles to herself. Thanks to the shadow dragons, she’s been able to quietly practice her shadow tongue fluency.

“But they’re still recording,” the shadow dragon says. “I don’t like it.”

The woman strokes the shadow dragon’s wing.

“If you want to escape the cameras,” she says, “go to my office. They’re not allowed there.”

The shadow dragon considers, laying her head on the woman’s shoulder.

“Here’s a better suggesstion,” Stella says in shadow tongue as she approaches. “Go to the kitchen. Celia won’t allow recording.” Stella smiles. “She’ll probably drive them out.”

Rose looks at Melanie. She hasn’t seen that woman before. Melanie nods to her.

“Hi,” Rose says.

“Hello,” Stella says. “So, you’re worried about the recording?”

Rose nods hesitantly. Melanie offers her a smile, watching the other woman.

“Go to the kitchen,” the woman says smiling. “Tell Celia Stella says you can have a cookie.”

Melanie smiles.

“That’s going to go well,” she says sarcastically.

“She won’t yell,” the woman says. “She’ll probbly give her one. Maybe more.”

Melanie nods.

“What’s your name?” she says.

“Stella,” the woman says. “I’m looking for someone and I was told they were out here last.”

“Who?”

“The king’s event planner’s assistant.”

“Oh. That’s me. Is everything okay?”

Stella nods.

“I’m Princess Eva’s new lady-in-waiting,” she says. “She asked me to extend an invitation for lunch tomorrow.”

That’s unusual. Melanie visits Princess Eva at least onmce a week, providing her with conversation and, to the princess’s delight, society paper highlights. The princess also enjoys venturing into court and gossip forums.

“Is she alright?” Melanie asks.

“Yes,” Stella says.

Melanie considers for a moment.

“Alright,” she says. “I’ll be there tomorrow. Thank you.”

“Sure,” Stella says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Stella smiles at the shadow dragon. “I hope you get cookies.”

Rose smiles as Stella walks away.

“I don’t know who she is,” Rose says.

“I don’t either,” Melanie says, “but Princess Eva probably knows her from somewhere.” Melanie smiles. “Anyway, I have to go back to work. Do you want to go back inside?”

“Can I stay with you?” Rose says. “I promise to be good while you work.”

“Sure.”

The Rightful Bride Chapter 26

Stella knocks on the door.

“One second,” Lady Ashlin says.

The door opens a moment later. The lady’s maid smiles hesitantly and gestures her in. Stella smiles back.

Lady Ashlin enters the sitting room. She looks at Stella.

“Who are you?” she says.

“I’m Princess Eva’s lady-in-waiting,” Stella says. “I have a message for you.”

Lady Ashlin nods and Stella tells her about the invitation.

“Tomorrow?” Lady Ashlin says. “She never sends invitations last minute. Is anything wrong?”

“She didn’t mention anything being wrong,” Stella says. “I haven’t noticed anything so far.”

Ashlin considers. She meets with Princess Eva once a month. Always the last Friday of the month. This month, it’ll be the week before the welcome ball.

“Alright,” Ashlin says. “I’ll be there. Thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course, My Lady,” Stella says. “Can you tell me where His Majesty’s event planner’s assistant is?”

“Melanie is probably in her office.”

Lady Ashlin gives her directions.

“Thank you, My Lady,” Stella says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Lady Ashlin nods and Stella leaves the suite. The lady’s maid stands behind her.

Ashlin turns to Genevieve.

“What do you think this is about?” Ashlin asks.

Genevieve bites her lip, considering for a moment.

“I’m not sure,” she says, choosing her words carefully. “It doesn’t sound like it’s too serious. She would have called you to be there immediately, right?”

“You’re right,” Ashlin says. “She probably can’t see me at the end of the month.”

Genevieve nods, a hesitant smile on her face.

“I’m going to finish cleaning,” she says.

Ashlin nods and Genevieve hurries away. Ashlin sighs. Her poor friend. What happened to her?

Hey! I’m back!

I’ve been taking a break in order to edit my next book and get some rest. I’m currently on a deadline to see how many edits I can make by June 30, 11:59 PM. Originally, it was for the fourth draft, but I finished it beforehand, so I figured I would see how much I can complete. I would like to get this released by September 2025, so, if I don’t post as often, this is why.

That’s it for today. I hope to see you soon.

A Whole New World in My Best Friend’s Closet

This story was originally published last year. However, I edited and added a few things to it. It’s also part of a bigger project and I’ll be sharing stories from it when I have them.

Why did Evie agree to come here?

“Come on,” Kate said hours ago. “It’ll be fun.”

Right. Her best friend invited her to a party and she’s been looking for an excuse to leave the house. This, though? This is what she agreed to?

She sighs, opening the door to Kate’s room. Music blasts through the house. The sometimes irritating and sometimes enjoyable beat of rap makes the walls and floor vibrate.

She enters the bedroom, closing the door behind her. The music is quieter. The only bright side to this party is that it’s at Kate’s house. A place she knows well.

Kate’s room is spacious. She got lost the first few times she came here. She still does sometimes. It’s the size of a living room.

She walks slowly to one of the chairs. As she sits, the closet door behind her opens. She blinks at the cold wind that hits her. Goosebumps break out across her skin. What the hell?

The door closes. She should let Kate know. What the hell just happened? She should…

Something pulls on her. The door. She should see what it is. No reason to alarm Kate, right?

She stands and approaches the closet. She shouldn’t do this, but the door calls to her. She can’t understand it, but it does.

She opens the closet door. Ignoring the cold air, she enters and…

She slips on ice. She reaches out desperately, grabbing a nearby rail before she falls on her butt. She slowly straightens and, still holding on, climbs down the steps. She should turn back, but…

“And what would a mortal be doing in my realm?”

The masculine voice wraps around her. Deep. Baaritone, yet somehow louder than the cold, harsh wind.

“Why is it so cold in your realm?” she says.

“It’s winter,” he says. “It’s expected to be cold. What are you doing here? Why do you not have a coat?”

“I didn’t plan to come here.”

“Why did you then?”

“Curiosity.”

“Not a good enough answer.”

“It’s the only one I have.”

A moment of silence. “How did you get here, mortal?”

“By accident,” she replies.

“Accident or no, you need to go back. This place is not for mortals.”

“Then why was I called here?”

“Because the realm has a tendency to call people here. Most simply ignore it. Go home, mortal. These are things beyond your control. Next time the realm calls to you, ignore it.”

She considers asking, but decides not to. The man seems nice, but the air around her is strange. It crackles with uncertainty. “Okay. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says.

She turns and climbs up the stairs. She finds the door again and enters Kate’s bedroom. She closes it behind her, glad for the warmth.

“Did you go through the closet door?”

She jumps at Kate’s voice. “Yeah. It randomly opened.” She pauses. “I swear it called to me.”

Kate considers, looking at her friend. “How was it?”

She tells Kate about the other world. About the man who sent her back.

“You should listen to him,” Kate says. “That world seems strange.”

That should be enough to keep Evie away from that place. Hopefully.

“I know,” Evie says. “He told me to ignore it if it calls to me. I will. I’ll admit I’m curious.”

That should stop Kate from looking too deep into it. This is too interesting to ignore.

“I am, too,” Kate says, “but we shouldn’t get involved in things like this. Magic is strange sometimes.”

Evie nods, noticing the silence. “Where is everyone?”

“They left,” Kate says. “The party’s over. You’ve been gone for two hours.”

She blinks. “Two hours? It felt like no more than two minutes.”

“I know,” Kate says. “Anyway, do you want to stay over or do you want me to drive you home?”

“I don’t have anything with me.”

“Okay. Let’s go then.”

She follows Kate out of the house. She suppresses a sigh as they enter Kate’s vehicle. What a strange night.

I hope you enjoyed this story. As mentioned earlier, this will be part of a bigger project. It’s a cozy fantasy inspired by the format of slice of life anime, one of my top favorite genres in this medium.

If you’re interested in seeing my published work, you can check out my books in major retailers as well as my shop.

Thank you for your continued support. I appreciate you reading. I’ll see you next time.