Maranda Russell's Blog, page 14

Poetry – To a Favorite Deity (Thoth)

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Thoth
gave us words
Thoth
gave us magic
Thoth
was smart enough to know
Both
could be tragic.

Life Update – Health, Exciting News!

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It’s been a minute since I just did a life update, so let’s take a minute to do so! I’ll break it up into categories for ease:

Physical health – Thank God, the Topamax increase seems to have helped the migraines quite a bit. They aren’t gone entirely, but have been much better lately. Still having some digestive issues, so I’m seeing the GI doctor soon. We suspect Gastroparesis or some other motility disorder might be at play. I’ve already been following a gastroparesis diet and it has been helping my symptoms, but we won’t know till I get a test obviously. That condition is really common with Ehlers Danlos though.

Mental health – Uh, all over the place. Anxiety like crazy. Kinda hyper. Hard to concentrate and focus…that one has been a real pain lately. Even getting stuff like this done isn’t easy. My brain wants to go in fifty million directions, none of them what they are supposed to be doing. Depression too, but kind of medium level. Like just the blahs. Apathetic. Need constant positive stimuli to not start feeling blah again, but that isn’t reality, is it?

My writing – Finally, some good news!!! First off, I was contacted by a music professor at Central Washington University in Washington state who wants to use one of my poems to set to music for a project she and her colleagues and a few students are working on. They will compose music for the poem (for instrument and voice) and then put together a concert music video for it (because covid and all I assume) and it will be released in April. Of course, I will be credited for my part in the project, and will share the video when I can.

Also, I just got an email today that the educational resources website Twinkl has chosen my blog to be one of their Top Autism Blogs of 2020! They get pretty high traffic on their site, so it is quite an honor and I’m psyched about it!

Poetry – Kindred Spirits

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Kindred spirits
unconscious of any
existential separation -
twine together
like the layers
of a friendship
bracelet,
never to unravel
or fray,
no matter
how often
they are worn.

Poetry – Sherlock Said

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Sherlock once told me,

"One should keep the furniture
put away in the library
if they wish to hasten enlightenment,
or satisfy an extreme love
of solitude."

Poetry – Fear of Woman

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The fear of woman
will prove harmful
to masculinity.

Treating her as
an individual,
a cosmos,
a sphere entirely
unto her own
emancipates
femininity
and brings
balance
to the source.

Poetry – Sell Your Soul?

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Everywhere I go
I hear warnings
about the dangers
of selling your soul,
but here I am
pouring mine out
day after day
and I can't even
GIVE it away!

Poetry – Touch and Go

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I've already lost touch
with the younger generation,

but I've become unequivocally bound
to the passing of time.

I Did Get to Go On My Birthday Trip!

My last blog entry was about how I wasn’t sure if I would be able to go on my birthday trip or not due to recent health issues. I did get to go and I’m so glad I did! We went to Louisville, KY to see the Jackolantern Spectacular, and it was awesome!

Normally the Spectacular is walk through, but because of covid, it has to be drive-thru this year, which sucks because there is a LONG wait to get to see it. About 1-2.5 hours on average, but it was worth the wait. It is hard to get good pics of everything when you are only driving through, but here are my fave pics from the event:

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The hotel room we stayed in gave us a great view of a theme park that was shut down for the season, a bit of creepiness in its own right with the unmoving rides and the empty parking lots and walkways .

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We also visited a botanical gardens park:

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and even played dress-up with some vintage-style hats:

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It was a great time, and much needed! But now I’m exhausted and sore lol.

Migraines Update, Depression, and Weekend Plans

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I’ve been having a tough time lately mentally and physically. These constant migraines and stomach/digestive issues have really got me down. Sometimes I feel like life isn’t even worth it if every day is going to be like this. If you’ve ever had chronic, unrelenting migraines day after day, you probably understand how I feel.

I am trying hard to get this fixed or at least lessened and my doctors are trying different things, but nothing has come close to solving the issue yet. I feel like I’m just being dragged through each day and the only time I feel good is when I’m asleep.

This is my favorite time of year and I normally love to go out and do Halloween-ish or fall-ish things, so not being able to do so compounds my sadness. This weekend my husband has plans to take me several hours away for my birthday to see the Jack-o-lantern spectacular in Louisville, Kentucky. I want to go so bad and will try to go if at all possible, but I fear I won’t be able to if the health issues are acting up bad.

Luckily, the event is a drive-thru event, so I wouldn’t have to do much physically, but if I have a migraine or stomach issues, driving that far obviously wouldn’t be fun and would kind of spoil the weekend. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Quotation Contest – Bullying

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Here is another quote I wrote for a quotation contest/art exhibit. The subject for this one was bullying, something I unfortunately have quite a bit of experience with personally. Do you think my quote captures the feeling of being bullied honestly? I know sometimes it is more than one person doing the bullying, but typically there is one main bully (a ring leader shall we say) and the rest are just minions who are also afraid of crossing the big bad bully. At least that has been my experience.