Daniel M. Bensen's Blog, page 57

Every morning I am subjected to the performance that my daughter doesn’t want to go to school

My Japanese teacher is as much a language nerd as I am, I had ten minutes between Japanese class and my next class, so here we are, talking about cool stuff that the Japanese language can do.

We started by talking about the Chinese medicine＝漢方薬 (kanpouyaku) my teacher is taking because she feels a cold coming on. That is 風邪をひきかける(kaze wo hikikakeru). 風邪をひく(kaze wo hiku) means to catch a cold (literally “to pull a wind”). Adding –kakeru to the verb stem (we determined after a lot of back-and-forthing) adds the sense that the verb is about to begin. So my teacher felt the 風邪のひきがけ(kaze no hikigake)=the early signs of a cold, and started taking medicine.

When I asked whether the medicine worked, I found out that there’s no single translation for “work” in Japanese. People work＝ 人が働く(hito ga hataraku), but Chinese medicine has an effect ＝漢方薬が効く(kanpouyaku ga kiku), and phones are used ＝電話が使える(denwa ga tsukaeru).

Then the subject shifted to my daughters, and how they each misbehave in different ways. My younger daughter might want to play with a toy＝おもちゃで遊びたい(omocha de asobitai), so she takes it. Some hypothetical good children might seem like they want to play with a toy ＝おもちゃで遊びたそう(omocha de asobitasou) so you give it to them. But my older daughter performs that she wants to play with a toy＝おもちゃで遊びたがる (omocha de asobitagaru) so she manipulates you into giving it to her.

A good example of this sort of thing is what my older daughter does every morning, which is 幼稚園に行きたがらない(youchien ni ikitagaranai)=she performs that she doesn’t want to go to school. There are tears and declarations that every moment spent away from home is torture, but then once we’re in the car, it’s all smiles and happy plans about playing with her friends. She doesn’t really want to miss school. It’s just that maybe, if she cries hard enough, she might get to stay home and watch cartoons all day, so why not give it a try? Every goddamn morning.

毎朝娘に幼稚園に行きたがらないにされます（Maiasa musume ni youchien ni ikitagaranai ni saremasu)=Every morning I am subjected to the performance that my daughter doesn’t want to go to school.

Five Star Reviews: How Not to Be Wrong

I’ve been working on this one for a long time. How Not to Be Wrong was a hard book for me — a mental boot-camp in which I spent about six months groaning with the weight of one concept, only be handed two more. The fact that I finally made it to the end of the book, a gasping, sweaty, much improved human being, is down entirely to Jordan Ellenberg’s supreme skill as a teacher.

How Not to Be Wrong shunts the reader smoothly and with refreshing humor between geometry, military history, computer science, politics, statistics, gambling, medicine, morality, and philosophy. I emerged at the end shaking with not only a wealth of new information about all these stops on the rail, but with the conviction than now I know what they’re for. Science doesn’t tell you what you ought to believe; it tells you what you ought to do. We don’t vote to determine the best leader; we vote to give everyone an excuse to continue not committing crimes.  The best way to treat your most cherished beliefs is by attempting to disprove them.

I know that all sounds like nonsense, but I honestly can’t think of a more concise or convincing way to talk about Ellenberg’s insights than the book that he wrote. Start with plotting a line, and end with the reason you get up in the morning.

Yes, we have no Bananas

“So you decided to escape the USA when they stopped serving bananas?”

The coyote had a Canadian accent and smiled as the drones buzzed by overhead. He was either very confident his hacking or blissed out on auto-meditation. Maybe both.

“Not because they stopped serving bananas.” Paul couldn’t help but whisper. The back of his head prickled with imagined targeting lasers. “I’m escaping because they lied to us about why they stopped serving bananas. They said a plague from Asia wiped out the species.”

The coyote threw his head back and laughed, and Paul clutched at his racing heart.

“Jesus, can you be quiet?”

“Don’t worry, little guy. The drones can’t hear us.” The coyote wiped a tear from his eye. “Banana plagues. Ha. I hadn’t heard that one.”

“What about dogs?”

“That’s what the pushers on your shoes are for.”

He was talking about the patches he’d stuck to the undersides of Paul’s shoes, and the way they allowed Paul to skim like a ghost a foot above the ground.

“What about border guards?”

“That’s what bribes are for, kid.” The coyote giggled. “Anyone shows up, I’ll throw a banana at them.”

So the movie chips had been right. Once Paul was in San Francisco, he could eat bananas, and drink milk. Honey. Sugar. Outside of the USA, he would be able to fly through the air, and buy enough exotic weapons to come back and save his family. Liberate all five states!

They slid through the air, angling their feet to compensate for gusts of wind, passing over rocky ground and dry creek beds. Neither drones nor dogs found their trail, and the border neared.

 

Five Star Reviews: What the Hell Did I Just Read

Imagine a father who’s daughter is missing. He’s separated from his wife. He’s an ex-soldier who believes that “war is real life.” He’s violent and bitter and homophobic, but he’s also terrified, exhausted, and most of all annoyed that the only people who can track his daughter down are so very clearly a pair of idiots.

Imagine, in short, a real person — perhaps a person you don’t like — and see how close you are to him. Sympathize with him. That is, after all, what a novel is supposed to do. What the Hell Did I Just Read does that. Like, really well.

David Wong has done his homework. I’m always a fan of fiction that teaches you things. It’s why I like scifi and fantasy. What the Hell Did I Just Read, while it has less than no science content,* taught me LOADS about the lives of people in the economically depressed Midwest, where a building is more likely to turn into a vacant lot than the other way around. They aren’t bad people, and they aren’t good either. They’re just trying to live their lives and deal with their problems. Biker cultists, call-center drones, meth-addicts, off-the-grid survivalists, shady government agents — they’re all just people, and I’m glad I got a chance to know them.

Also there are amnesia-rays, giant hypno-grubs filled with universal evil, and NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS. OOOOOOH!

*It gets a lot wrong about insect anatomy.

The Vbyinu Sea

It started with the corvids of Bulgaria, of which there are many.  Then I turned to awkwords, a random word generator I’ve played with before. One fun technique is to give the program a bank of sounds and a model for how those sounds can go together. For example, the name of the Struma River, which runs through Sofia, is a fricative (S) followed by a stop (T), an approximant (R), a vowel (U), a nasal (M), and another vowel (A). What if those phonemes were all different examples of the same kinds?

Thus, the Vbyinu sea, which divides the southern continent of Sashilo from northern Gumoy and New Ozdal. It is on the coast of this sea, on the delta of the mighty Dvar Rayash river, that our story takes place. The Zyobaps is ruled by the Throne Flama, tall, thin folk with black skin and wrinkled faces. They command the common Flama, whose bodies are light gray, and are black only on their faces, hands, and feet. To the west are the armies of Holy Dyalfa, whose people, the Kzhaki, are small. To the east: the Fhyega people, tall, thin, and proud of their snow-colored bellies. the fertile valleys to the south are the domain of the black and bearded Darzan, who are wise and powerful, but disunified. The Zapaho Mountains and upland rivers are home to tribes of Yellow Garke and Red Garke, respectively. Sandy-skinned Siuke traders from across the Vbyinu sea bring stories of the elusive Zhugoyukza, spotted people of the forests beyond the Gurdem mountains. The Ushragi, with skin of sunflower yellow, tend their orchards far to the south.

Did I say “story”? I meant “setting.” No idea what’s going on in Zyobaps. Something bad, definitely.

This picture is dedicated to Kalin Nenov of the Choveshkata Biblioteka, who beta-read The Goose’s Wing and schooled me on the spelling of “Caucasus.” Not Caucases! He asked for a map, and lookit that! A map! Don’t worry, a map of the world of The Goose’s Wing is forthcoming. It’ll be printed in the anthology, itself!

Done while listening to Railsea by China Mieville.

Leviathan

This picture is dedicated to Emil Minchev, who beta-read The Goose’s Wing and told me the end was better than the beginning. Phew! He asked for the leviathan cross , which is the alchemical symbol for sulfur, apparently? I don’t see how I could improve on that design (it looks like infinity AND testicles!) so I decided to give some attention instead to the Miocene whale-eating whale Livyatan melvillei.  Those teeth were a challenge!

And don’t worry about the girl. The whale is her friend.

Done while listening to: The Collapsium by Wil McCarthy.

 

A Distinct Extinction

If extinctions are random in their effect, then replaying them will yield very different results. In this case, the dice (actually it was a random number generator) spelled oblivion for the crocodiles and pterosaurs, and obscurity for turtles and lizards, and wild success for plesiosaurs, theropods, and eutherian mammals. The result is a diversity of mostly hairless, ectothermic predatory mammals lurking in swamps and scuttling up walls. Small, semi-terrestrial pliosaurs bask on logs, and maniraptors…just keep on manirapping, you know? Those fingers are pretty big, though. That sure is something.

This picture is dedicated to Melissa Walshe, who beta-read The Goose’s Wing and helped me fix it. She asked for something “surprising” and these creatures certainly surprised me, so… thanks, Melissa!

Happy Birthday to Me!

And look what I got in the mail

 

New Cities

I don’t have much this week, but I do have any idea about making up European-sounding city names.

Split the names of European capital cities up into syllables (Am Ster Dam etc)
Some syllables are empty, some are spaces.*
Plug those syllables into awkwords
Use the syllable structure AB(C(D(E(F(G(H(I)))))))

The result (with 0s and extraneous spaces deleted)

Berkar, Asels, Anta, Budor, Beldor, Brusskar, Asfast, Buta, Anfast, Bun, Berkardamva

I only got up to the B’s in my syllable list (below), but you get the idea. I think it works pretty well, although there are a few names that are too obviously derived from real cities. Any ideas on how I can fix that?

 

Here’s the list of syllables

am/an/an/as/a/ba/bel/bel/ber/ber/bra/bruss/bu

ster/dor/kar/ta/thens/ku/fast/grade/lin/n/ti/els/cha

dam/ra/na/0/0/0/0/0/0/sla/0/re

_/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/va/0/st

la/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0

_/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0

vel/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/

la/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0/0

A Random List of Worldbuilding

It’s been less than half a year since the time trains came to 1907, but things are already a-changin’!

What do Ruth, Emily, Vivek, and Sam encounter when they get of the time train at Knickerbocker Station? I wrote down a bunch of weird stuff, randomized it, and spat it out for you!

“Downtime eats! Last chance for Halal food. Last sattvic, jiya, ahisma- and achandu-compliant…”

“Anglo-Saxons!”

“Join our Kaibatsu for shocking discounts!”

“Excuse me, sir! Aap kahan se hain?”

“Vile anti-trust laws and price-ceilings!”

“– to Jesus!”

“Protect against air burglars!”

“Cure your typhoid and tuberculosis at the Chinese Clinic!”

“Electrificators! Home dynamos!”

“Drive real cars on real roads! Bu-zidong! Bu-zidong!”

“Curling irons for Miss? Paleness pills? Padded bras? Heated chemises?”

“The Catherine T. MacArthur foundation – ”

“Brothers in Labor! Unite to crush the capitalists!”

“Immunize yourself to perfidious alcohol!”

“Disculpe, señor, ¿habla español?”

“Excuse me, Person, do you have a moment to talk about equality?”

“Cost of living index…”

“– of Reverend Mordecai Ham! The Jews –”

“Real puppies! Live puppies!”

“– for reactive municipal infrastructure.”

“Say, ma’am, can I interest you in an opportunity in African real estate?”

“Workers demand fair wages! The Black Hand strikes again! Meat-Packers’ Union says no more mannequin labor. ”

“Marshal Fields mein dukaan!”

“Install the Servile Application on your Indispensable! Order a pound of beef and a chef to cook it!

“Tonight at the Bughouse –”

“Renounce your flesh and upload!”

“Achchha girls!”

“Race the bull and wrestle the bear! Twenty to one on a market downturn!”

“Premature War in the Balkans! Bank runs in eight cities!”

“Progress!”

“Try Knickerbocker food! Grown right out of the ground!”

“Join the Teamsters National Union!”

“Thermite kits!”

“Paper-makers!”

“Buy coal, steel, copper!”

“Rocket-Stoves, food-mills, water purifiers, cornucopia machines!”

“Have you heard the good news?”

“More mannequins vandalized! Right to trial by jury threatened. Ford Motors unveils new line of levitators. Downtime agitator Saul Alinsky under arrest at last!

“Visit historic Austro-Hungary! Flights leave twice a day!”

“Volopters sold! Levitation paint! The Sinbad automotor kit de-horses your carriage.”

“Emigrate to secure Kennedy Station.”

“Hand-held moving pictures, synthesizers, and musicons!”

“Hal tatahadath alearabia?”

“Automatic zeppelin generators!”

“Hello, ma’am. You from Black Station? What city?”

“Miss! How’d you like to marry a Downtimer?”

“Hephaestus mini-forges! The Smarter Home Smelter!”