Z. Allora's Blog, page 6

Breathing Exercises

 Yes, I know I'm all over the place: Sex, Writing, Cleaning... and now breathing. 

I'm just sharing where I am. Right now there's a lot of stress in my world (& probably yours too) and I find breathing exercises actually help >>>> and they are FREE!!!

Falling Out Breath: Inhale as much as you can then take one more sip of air. Then release. (Good for lowering physical tension in your body)

Box Breath: Inhale for a count of 4, Hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold your breath for 4 counts. (Encourages mindfulness)

Emptying Breath: Inhale for 3 counts Exhale for 6 releasing as much as possible. (Good for calming Sympathetic Nervous System)

((I'm working with the Noom System to get myself in a healthier place))

May every breath you take fill you with peace & love.

Hugs, Z.

Writing Advice from Jenna Moreci

 I adore watching Jenna Moreci's snarky videos. I always walk away with a pearl of wisdom or even a necklace of great things to remember.

Hugs, Z.

Love By Chance

 One of my favorite BL's out of Thailand is Love By Chance.

Here's the first episode with English Subtitles: 

If you have doubts watch this first kiss... it's just so... EVERYTHING.

No lie I watch this usually once a week to remind me of perfection. I hope you enjoy it. 

Hugs, Z.

The Untamed

 Now if we're friends on social media you are well aware of my adoration for the Untamed. 

In my Yaoified Love group on Facebook, I am summarizing each and every episode with my special brand of investigative snark. 

The Untamed is on Netflix & YouTube. 

The first episode is a bit difficult to understand. (You see a "death" of the main character but he is brought back to life/or woke for a coma > lots of differing opinions. So he's confused when he "wakes" up in someone else's (kindaof > again details differ especially because we see him as the same person on the TV show) He's confused and so are we... He acts crazy to confuse the clan he's with... Not to worry soon we get to see how all this happened episode 2 - 33... and then we are in the present.

Enjoy!

Sexual Traditions

 Not judgment... ignore the narrator's tone LOL. 

5 Daily Tasks to move to a Tidy Home

1) Make your bed > starts your day off write.

2) Check Floor (use vacuum, broom or mop as necessary)

3) Clean Counters (put things away & clean) (Kitchen, bathroom, office)

4) Deal with Clutter (put things away or if you're ready lessen the amount of things you have by donating or tossing)

5) Laundry (Wash & put away one load > to avoid the mountain of laundry)

Cleaning Videos

 I know this is crazy but I LOVE watching cleaning videos. 

It motivates me to keep a tidy home. Watching someone put their world to rights settles my soul.

 Here's another: 

Through cleaning videos I learned how to clean my baseboards easier (with a degreaser that's paint safe), how to go to eye level to see if the surface is really clean, using a bristle brush to scrub the sink, using a scrubber with dish liquid while I'm showering (once a week) keeps my shower glass clean.

Hugs, Z.

July 2020 Beyond the Scene My most recent release is on m...

July 2020 Beyond the Scene
My most recent release is on my mind so I’d like to share with you an excerpt from Bent Not Broken . This is a conversation between the two main characters demonstrating a number of things that I feel should happen between a Master and sub. After the excerpt I’ll come back and point out what I wanted to do.
Excerpt“You’re welcome. Before you go, I’d like to follow up on something you said a couple of weeks ago.” He needed to stop avoiding sensation play. Many subs had been abused, and they didn’t find impact play abusive. Riku had to Master-up and figure it out. Stefano’s eyes widened. “Go... oh, um, yeah. Of course. Sure, shoot.” “You said a sub wants their pain acknowledged.”Stefano shrugged and nodded. Riku continued, “There’s a theory that when a Master prepares for a scene and focuses all their energy on the sub, it shows the sub they are thought of and someone is trying to address their needs.” Stefano turned and sat cross-legged on the bed, facing Riku. “Yup, that sounds about right. I saw a demonstration once where the Mistress explained that she gives the sub pain. They suffer for her, but she sees the hurt and helps them get beyond it.” “So it’s a way of validating your experience?” Riku wanted to understand Stefano better. He hated Dominants who simply assumed the rationale behind a sub’s needs. The sheet slipped lower on Stefano’s torso. “Yeah, I guess you... someone witnessing my pain means it’s real.” “And you think it may help some past pain as well?”Stefano nodded.It was beyond the time that Riku should acknowledge the truth of their situation. “I realize we aren’t doing things how you might normally do them.” Stefano confessed, “Most Mistresses were much stricter and gave me painful consequences for any misstep, but you can get me on the path to subspace with handwashing, so what do I know?” Riku chuckled. “You delight me.” His sub’s cheeks tinted a sweet pink, making him look younger than almost thirty. “For that I’m eternally grateful.” “Brat.” Riku got serious. “I’ll be honest with you. I want to be careful in terms of reinforcing anything that’s negative with you—” “Goddammit! I don’t need kid gloves.” Stefano slapped a hand over his mouth. “It is necessary for me. Remember, I have nonnegotiables too. I don’t know enough about working with someone who has a history of abuse. You’ve placed your mental and physical well-being into my hands. I won’t do something that has unintended consequences for you.” “But—” “I appreciate your faith in me, but the truth is, I have to feel your faith in me is justified.” “I hate that.” “Sorry, but remember this is one of my non-negotiables. As your Master, friend, and lover, I want to cause you no lasting harm. I wanted you to know I’m doing research and learning how I can get to that place.” “Yes, Master. I guess it’s dumb to fight against what you think is best for me.” But Riku knew it wouldn’t stop Stefano from doing just that if that’s what he needed to do.
I wanted to do several things with this scene: 1)    To show the Master and sub checking in with each other.2)    I needed to highlight the fact that Masters aren’t perfect. 3)    Masters can have non-negotiables > things they will not and can’t compromise on.4)    Highlighting the potential goals of BDSM can be: reinforcing that the sub is worth the energy the Master is exerting on their behalf, and a validation of someone seeing the subs pain and getting them to the other side. 5)    I wanted to reinforce that there are many ways to prepare the sub to begin a scene (could be dressing in leather, punishing missteps or in this case handwashing).6)    Researching and understanding the sub is key… (again Masters are moving in unchartered territory so they better have as many facts and tools at their disposal)7)    We can only expect 80% compliance from most people. It’s unrealistic to expect more from someone unless the goal is to hold them to account.
If you get a chance I hope you give Bent Not Broken a try.



Bent Not Broken Blurb:Stefano Rossi longs for the mystical—and so far unattainable—peace of reaching subspace. But can he accept that the person who can take him there is a man?
Riku Tao has given up on finding a sub who complements him. He’ll stick with doing demonstrations at the BDSM club the Edge. He certainly doesn’t have time for a closeted Catholic guy with internalized biphobia… and yet he cannot help but want to protect Stefano and give him what he needs. A history of physical and sexual abuse makes it impossible for Stefano to come out of the closet, and Riku certainly isn’t going back in.
Perhaps an arrangement of six months to explore their desires will be enough to satisfy them both.
Or it might break their hearts.
To take hold of his future with the man he’s coming to love, Stefano will need to move beyond the pain of his past, and he won’t be able to do it alone.


Buy Link

Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so feel free to use the contact information and touch base with me.
Many hugs, Z. Allora
To contact Z. Allora: E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.comFACEBOOK:   Z Allora AlloraWebsite: www.zallorabooks.comTwitter: @ZAlloraBlog: http://zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1

Hugs, Z.
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BDSM as Orientation

Is BDSM just an intense and gratifying activity you participate in or is it so part of who you are on a cellular level that it is part of your orientation?
You can probably guess my feelings so I did a bit of research.
In Psychology Today’s article: Is BDSM/Kink a Hobby or a Sexual Orientation? Posted May 20, 2019, the question raised is how do you define orientation.
What defines orientation?To quote: “different scientists think about this in different ways. Some define it in very narrow terms, looking at it specifically as something that orients us to partners based on sex or gender; however, others take a more expansive view. 
“Some argue that we have multiple sexual orientations and that the characteristics of these orientations are as follows: (a) sexual attraction that is strong and persistent; (b) relative immutability/fluidity of sexual attraction or arousal that is beyond conscious control; (c) early onset, developmentally, in childhood or adolescence; (d) significant psychological consequences to denying, exploring, fulfilling, or repressing sexual attraction and arousal; and (e) lifelong patterns of sexual attraction and arousal.” ((Psychology Today Is BDSM/Kink a Hobby or a Sexual Orientation? Posted May 20, 2019 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201905/is-bdsmkink-hobby-or-sexual-orientation))

Can BDSM be an Orientation?“If you view kink/BDSM through this lens, some research does support the idea that it may be orientation. For example, research finds that the vast majority of BDSM practitioners report that their sexual interests developed relatively early in life, specifically before the age of 25. Further, a minority of these folks (7 to 12 percent across studies) report that their interests developed around the time of puberty (between ages 10 to 12), which is when other traditional aspects of sexual orientation develop (e.g., attraction based on sex or gender).” ((Psychology Today Is BDSM/Kink a Hobby or a Sexual Orientation? Posted May 20, 2019 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201905/is-bdsmkink-hobby-or-sexual-orientation))
The article doesn’t come down on one side of or the other of this argument. “They argue that the leisure and sexual orientation views of kink/BDSM are not mutually exclusive. In other words, perhaps both of them may be correct, meaning that kink/BDSM could be a leisure activity for some, but more of an orientation for others.” ((Psychology Today Is BDSM/Kink a Hobby or a Sexual Orientation? Posted May 20, 2019 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/201905/is-bdsmkink-hobby-or-sexual-orientation))
In my humble opinion this makes sense. For some people, BDSM could be an essential part of their sexuality and for others it might just be a leisure activity. As with Kline, I’ll point out this could alter/shift/change over time based on life, and experiences. (Not for nothing I was 4 when I figured out those things were BDSM-y hit me on a primal level.)
Once again, we are left with being forced to look inwards to determine what works for us. There is no definite right answer because it depends on the individual. (Everyone is validated!)
Iceland Embraces BDSM as an OrientationIn 2016, Iceland started to include BDSM as part of the rainbow community. I’m going to quote Andie Sophia Fontaine, “What isn’t so great is the lack of self-reflection that shows when people who do not even practice BDSM feel they have the other authority to tell those who do that it’s not an orientation but a lifestyle choice. Members of the queer community have fought for decades to have their sexual orientations recognised as such, and it’s a struggle that continues to this day. It is therefore sad and frustrating to hear voices arise within this community using the exact same arguments that have been used against them, often to justify discrimination and oppression, only aiming them at another group of people.
Human rights don’t just apply to people you agree with. They’re not called “friend’s rights”, after all. We apply them to everyone. People who deny kinksters the right to define their orientation and dismiss their personal experiences with prejudice are only proving the point. Fighting oppression and liberating the marginalised should be everyone’s fight. We cannot do this if we lack the awareness of our own prejudices, and discriminate against others in ways we would never want to be discriminated against ourselves. We are all in this together. It’s high time we started acting like it.”((BDSM, Sexual Orientation, And Prejudice Published March 9, 2016 written by Andie Sophia Fontaine https://grapevine.is/mag/column-opinion/2016/03/09/9946118 )
In an article written by James Besanvalle, he says, “In 2016, members of the National Queer Organization — established just over 40 years ago — voted to include the BDSM community into the organization, causing irreparable damage with some of the early pioneers of the movement…The decision shook the LGBTI community to its core.
But since then, the LGBTI community has grown from strength to strength. As recent as last week (20 June), the Nordic country passed a law to make it easier for trans and non-binary people to change their legal gender.”  June 24, 2019.( Rainbow Reykjavik: Iceland’s Winter Pride packs a super cool punch )
Where is the USA on BDSM as an Orientation?National Public Radio did a broadcast: LGBTQ…K?: Kink’s Place in the Alphabet Soup of Queerness By: Juli Holbert, Ky Cobb  Posted on: Tuesday, April 3, 2018 I’d like to share some of the transcript with you.
“Kink is defined as “an unconventional sexual taste or behavior.” Many in the “kinky” community subscribe to BDSM as a defining element of their sexuality. BDSM stands for bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism.
There are some people like Crane who believe kink is an essential part of their sexuality and not something they can “choose.”
“And it has its own set of rules, it’s own spectrum in terms of intensity and who you’re interacting with,” Crane said.
And while many members of the LGBTQ community feel the same way about their sexuality, they also believe “kink” is just… not queer.
“Kinky people who are a part of the LGBT community also experience discrimination from within the LGBT community,” Crane said. “Kinkaphobia towards people who are kinky in the LGBT community; they’re outcasted because they think it’s such a taboo subject that they don’t want to talk about it.”
Leigh Ferrero, a queer senior at Ohio University, believes while kink as an identity is valid, it does not belong on the same spectrum as sexuality.
“LGBT people have already been stigmatized so much already, and BDSM has its own stigmas, but I don’t think it’s very fair to equate those,” Ferrero said. “Especially when BDSM is more of a preference-based kind of thing, not so much a sexuality.” ((https://woub.org/2018/04/03/lgbtq-k-k...))
Should K be included in the alphabet-soup acronym?At the time of this here are some variations: LGBTQQIP2SAA, LGBTQQICAPF2K, LGGBDTTTIQQAAPPThe first acronym stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, pansexual, two-spirit, androgynous and asexual. The second one includes K for kink (BDSM).
It seems overly much until you realize people are looking for identity and community. And I’m not going to fall on the side of the fence that denies anyone. There are people in the world where BDSM is part or all of their orientation and there are people who BDSM recreationally > Both are valid..

Always seek your own truth.
I’d love to hear from you so comment here or use the contact information to touch base with me privately.
Many hugs, Z. Allora
To contact Z. Allora: E-mail: Z.AlloraHappyEndings@gmail.com FACEBOOK :   Z Allora AlloraWebsite: www.zallorabooks.comTwitter: @ZAlloraBlog: http://zallora.blogspot.comDreamspinner: https://bit.ly/2Jv14r1
BIO: Z. Allora believes in happily ever after for everyone. She met her own true love through the personals and has traveled to over thirty countries with him. She’s lived in Singapore, Israel and China. Now back home to the USA she’s an active member of PFLAG and a strong supporter of those on the rainbow in her community. She wants to promote understanding and acceptance through her actions and words. Writing rainbow romance allows her the opportunity to open hearts and change minds.
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One of my Favorite Scenes is a 1st Kiss

I adore Love By Chance.
The couple Ae & Pete warm my heart.
This is one of my favorite episodes but my favorite scene is 15 minutes before the end.
Watch the whole thing or skip to the sweet first kiss (the movie theater scene is sugar as well)
Enjoy!
Hugs, Z.

To Love By Chance Epi 4 4/4 eng sub