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Graham James’ sentence doubled

A bit of faith has been restored to the Canadian justice system.

While it still isn’t much, the Manitoba appeal court has doubled the sentence of child molester and former junior hockey coach Graham James. His sentence was originally two years. James will now spend five years behind bars.

And though even five years seems light, it is the moral of the appeal that speaks loudly for victims and survivors of sexual abuse. As I said in my previous post, these cases set a precedent for future offenders that face charges. The fact that the original judge, Catherine Carlson, took into consideration James’ previous convictions while making his sentence lighter is a joke. But Justice Alan MacInnes, representing a three judge panel that overturned the sentence, logically stated that the consideration should have worked in reverse.

This deserves a thumbs up, not necessarily for the length of the sentence, but because it was reviewed at all and appealed. There is still lots to do when it comes to reforms in the criminal justice system in this country, starting with how long convicted sex offenders go to jail for. A short sentence that gives them an opportunity to re-offend in a few years is simply unacceptable. It jeopardizes the safety of our kids. It makes our streets that much more unsafe.

Why has the supposed rehabilitation of these monsters been put above the safety of innocent children? That is a question that is hard to answer. I ask it often, but I think instead of trying to answer it, we must focus on making the changes to the justice system that put victims first and not criminals. Abusers make the choice to hurt people and that is why they try to silence their victims and why they are so manipulative. They know what they have done. A victim has hurt no one, is forced into silence and repeatedly tortured. Who should be the one to pay the consequence? The answer to that should be clear, and that is what this appeal proves: victims should be the priority. A jail sentence should not be made shorter because a sex offender has been convicted and jailed before. Why should a previous conviction mean he goes away for a shorter amount of time? This appeal has answered this. James’ conviction should not be shorter, and this should apply to all sex offenders. We need a justice system that listens to victims, cops who are trained to deal with such cases and a court system that will be fair. When a pedophile has re-offended, proving he or she is not rehabilitated, they need to pay the consequence of choosing to hurt someone else.

Only then will real faith and trust be restored to the justice system.

A light for victims might come in 2013. Canada’s Minister of Justice, Rob Nicholson, whose daughter was murdered in 2002 by a repeat sex offender, announced the federal government’s interest in introducing a victim’s bill of rights this year. Not much has been released about this bill save for that, but I will definitely be keeping my eyes and ears open for more details on that…so stay tuned. Things are happening, things are slowly changing and we are seeing progress, little by little. As victims, survivors and those who support them, we all must speak up and stand together on these issues. We must let our voices be heard.

For more on this: http://www.brandonsun.com/national/breaking-news/canadian-press-newsalert-graham-james-sentence-extended-to-five-years-from-two-191401411.html?thx=y

 

 

Victim’s Bill of Rights? About time!

The Canadian federal government has done a lot of talk with little action in the last few years. A news leak of the Graham James pardon in 2010 and his light sentence last year threw them into frenzy once people protested the fact that pedophiles can get pardons. We have seen time and time again how the government is good at making promises it doesn’t necessarily keep.

For example, James’ light sentence of two years for sexually abusing Theo Fleury and his cousin, came after the federal government had implemented a supposedly tough on crime system. Under this, sex offenders would serve a MIMIMUM of one year. James will likely serve less than that. Meanwhile, down in the US, sex offender Jerry Sandusky was handed a deservingly harsh 30-60 year sentence, which was praised by Theo Fleury, former NHL hockey player and one of James’ victims. Canadian justice, tough on crime? Not even close in comparison.

These cases set a precedent for future cases in which judges can base their sentences. The judge in James’ case admitted to giving James a lighter sentence because she took into consideration he had prior offences for which he went to jail. Since when did criminals get easier sentences for reoffending? And what is that going to tell future judges? That this is ok? (James’ sentence is currently undergoing the appeal process, as the prosecution is seeking a longer jail term.)

Now the Tories are talking tough on crime again. Justice Minister Rob Nicholson claims the new changes to the Criminal Code will include tougher penalties to child predators. In the midst of these changes is a “Victim’s Bill of Rights.” The details are still vague on this one, though Nicholson has said this will be entrenched into law. Also being discussed is expanding the national network of Child Advocacy Centres for victims of child abuse, which would provide a lot more support for them.

Sue O’ Sullivan, federal ombudsman for victims of crime, released a report a year ago that took an in-depth look at what the government should be doing for victims. Her report included discussed the fact that victim’s rights are surprisingly limited and introduced the idea of a Victim’s Bill of Rights. For example, a victim does not automatically have the right to attend parole hearings of the offender, and neither are audio recordings or transcripts of any kind made available for them. Sullivan suggested changing this so that victims have the automatic right, as it would give them an opportunity to give an in-person statement. Other things outlined in her report were:

-       -   Ensuring the offender has to provide at least 14 days’ notice to cancel a parole hearing so the victim is not put at an inconvenience emotionally, financially and that the victim is able to prepare for the hearing in terms of travel.

-        Giving more information about the offender to victims. This would include information on the offender’s incarceration, a current photo of them upon release and what risk the offender is to re-offend.

-       More financial support to victims of crime.

Former NHLer Sheldon Kennedy, also one of James’ victims as a teenager, has praised the government’s talk of a Victim’s Bill of Rights. So do I. It is a move in the right direction. Tougher sentences and more focus on the victims is what advocates and victims have been waiting on for years. The key is, though, that the government really has to stick to their guns. Last time they said they were getting tough on crime, they gave pot smokers harsher minimum sentences than they gave child molesters and rapists, which seems incredibly twisted. Perhaps they have seen the horrendous error. Perhaps they are seeing these monsters for what they are; that they cannot be rehabilitated and released back into society. These abusers never stop until they are locked away and physically cannot access victims.

It is a waiting game from here on what the government envisions as a Victim’s Bill of Rights. Here is hoping it means more justice, tougher justice and more closure. Here is hoping we are starting to see real societal change in which victims are treated like victims and criminals are treated like criminals, not the other way around.

The National Post had an incredibly interested article on their website from back in October 2012: http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/10/...

~ Poem ~ Wolves in the Snow

If December was when wolves

took your coffin underground

then January is when they

take me too,

piles of snow outside

might as well be hell

for how frigid the frost

sits on my windows,

settles into the bones.

Flakes delicate,

ice invincible,

cut deep by skates of children

laughing on the outdoor rink;

slices into old scars,

strange memories taking over.

Can you sit the winter with me

when I lose pieces of myself

again?

Darkness of the heart,

wolves in the snow,

mourning sounds lingering

ten years after you’ve been dead.

Still I write for you

like some ancient soul

wielding a pen

by your grave.

There’s nothing worse than

falling behind as they all

move on,

taken down

just like you.

For I knew your secrets

as you knew mine.

I knew you tried

to kill yourself when

taunting laughs of old friends

and bullies haunted you

and you knew he put his hands on me

in ways unspeakable.

You knew when I broke down,

could no longer stand,

I guess we both

took the fall

that December.

Blame the man behind the beer,

not the brand, they said

for still today I can’t

inhale beer’s scent without

holding my head in my hands

and tonight the wolves seem

ever closer,

ever haunting.

Still see your face

in thin ice.

Still hear your laughter

somewhere between howls,

between nightmares.

Somewhere you are the light

in it all.

So If December was when wolves

took your coffin underground

then January is when they

take me too.

Photo by Lavinia Thompson

Denied help: Little Warriors not getting funding for Be Brave Ranch

“I made a commitment to the kids in Canada, in Alberta, in Edmonton, that I’d build this for them and with or without the government, we will continue to raise that money and build that facility.”

Those were the words from Glori Meldrum, founder and chair of Little Warriors, after funding a treatment centre for child victims of sexual abuse was denied. Little Warriors requested $650,000 in funding for its Be Brave Ranch. As the Little Warriors website points out, there are centres for rapists and pedophiles to be “rehabilitated” but there is nothing for those they victimize.

The mission of the centre is to provide long-term care and treatment to victims of sexual abuse, but it also focusses on parents of these kids, helping them get over their grief or anger over what has happened to their child. It also provides help to those in relationships with victims to help them better understand what victims go through. Meldrum is right in saying this is so badly needed in Canada.

Little Warriors hopes to help about 40 kids every month, which adds up to about 480 more victims directed back on the road to healing and peace. Tell me, what in the world can be more important than helping our children?

Little Warriors needs to raise $3.4 million in order to build the centre. So far, they have raised $1.4 million since, but there is a long ways to go and a helping hand from the provincial government would send a strong message to those who know the torture and darkness of sexual abuse. But to me, right now, it is saying other things are more important.

As a survivor, I am actually offended that my provincial government has essentially denied me a service I view as essential. And yet pedophiles still get “treatment.” Why are we still treating these sickos like they are the victims? Why are the REAL victims still being thrown under society’s bus and forgotten about? It is absolutely outrageous.

Meldrum said the centre would be built one way or another. Personally, I would like to help, though I am thinking of a way how to do a fundraiser of some sort for Little Warriors.

However, donations can be made through the Little Warriors website: http://littlewarriors.ca/you-can-help/be-brave-ranch/

Governments everywhere need to get their priorities straight. Since when did anything else come before the well-being of children? It is wrong to think anything else is more important, especially when children have suffered at the hands of such monsters that still get “help.”

As a friend said to me today about this: “It is a sad day to be an Albertan.”

Read more: http://edmonton.ctvnews.ca/funding-for-little-warriors-treatment-centre-denied-by-province-1.1130223#ixzz2J7yAnp6Z

~ Edge of Glory ~ I have discovered the truly frustrating part of this book…

As some of you know, Edge of Glory is one of three books I lost in the house fire back in 2004. All my notes, everything was gone. Of course, starting with Kawilara, I started them over. I figured I’d tackle this one as well…forgetting one thing…my main character in Edge of Glory is an up and coming musician. I had her songs written back before ’04…needless to say I don’t have them anymore. And that’s frustrating…starting over in general is frustrating. It is like trying to put it all back together out of ashes. It is one of those obstacles that you look back on and wonder why it had to happen.

I guess I haven’t thought about it in a long while because I never did expect to be restarting this book. It was one I didn’t think about in a long time, not until last fall, actually, when Lady Gaga released her music video for “Marry the Night.” The 13-minute long video had a bit of a story line to it that reminded me of Edge of Glory. Lady Gaga being the re-inspiration for the book is why I named it such.

So, here I am, sitting here and lamenting tonight. I haven’t been this frustrated for a while. Sales are down and what reviews I have been getting, haven’t been too good, mostly two and three stars. Is January this much of a rut for other writers out there?

This is all part of writing life. Frustration and ruts. Lamenting and loss. Sometimes more often than not. This just goes to show that the actions of others can have a very long term impact on those they victimize. It has been eight years since Mom’s abusive ex burned the house down (it will be nine this summer) and there are always little things that come up, little reminders of what he did. And yes, I get a bit mad about it, still. There are many things I still get mad about for the ten years he tried to destroy my family. But I take inspiration in knowing that by rewriting these books, I am taking back something he destroyed. The physical first drafts and notes of these novels are long gone, in ashes that don’t even sit there anymore, but the creativity never died. That was one thing he could never take from me and he never will.

So I’ll get back at it…rewriting my main character, Lindsay’s, songs and rebuilding these books to the glory they deserve.

 

Obviously not the official cover, but the image I plan on using for advertising purposes until the cover is done

~ Poem ~ Hues of Simplicity

Midnight felt like

it was really over;

letters that said

maybe we were better off

apart,

alone,

distant…

Darkness came crawling

from out of nowhere;

fragility of night,

moon’s delicacy,

fractures and cracks,

breaking,

creaking,

shattered.

You were almost

out the door

when you said you’d

miss me like crazy

and all it took was your touch,

warm as sunlight over

a snow-heaving land,

made me break down and cry,

broken,

desperate,

reckless.

One in the morn,

tears shed for hours.

I know nothing at all

save for the love I have

for you,

holding each other, weeping,

wondering if this was really

as over as it seemed,

cold,

shivering,

lost.

Over cigar smoke and soft touches

I think we finally

talked it out come 2 a.m.

Knew that some things

had to change, we had to be

better to each other,

like I was the goalie and you

were my defenseman, down the ice

and around the net,

you block the hardest of shots

and I make the graceful saves,

even if the world does

heave,

grieve,

heal…

Not even a whisper of pain remained

come morning light’s clarity,

silence in knowing

there was no going back to where

we were before…

pinks and blues, hues of simplicity,

together,

forever,

one.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy holidays…and a poem

I know it’s been way too long since I updated my blog here, so I thought I’d drop in quickly and wish everyone a happy and safe holiday. I also have a poem I wrote tonight, about a friend I lost right after Christmas. Enjoy I’ll be doing more updates in the New Year! Don’t forget to follow me on Facebook, which I tend to update most: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lavini...

 

Another White Holiday

Snow piles up outside the window,

another white holiday.

It’s just never been the same;

flowers on a grave

from ten years ago.

Could it really be?

It’s been a decade since you

lay in that coffin, too young to die.

The coldest day of my life

and every year just gets

colder.

When the world just starts snowing,

never have I looked at Christmas the same

as when you walked into the school

decorated in lights.

Tonight the merry colours

bring tears, magic gone like smoke.

Wreathes on doors,

twinkling lights in windows,

silhouettes of over-decorated trees

when I drive by,

it only seems

the world heaves.

For the nights aren’t silent

when there’s a ghost haunting

the only Christmas song I listen to

alone,

it reminds me of you

and the time that’s passed since

you’ve been gone,

how innocence is lost,

how frigid of a world it is,

how there are some things

you just never move past.

Sighing at carols,

turning away from pretty paper

and ribbons hiding just how

desolate winter is

on streets of a city

where dreams lie down and die,

nothing left to lose,

wondering why I bother

to stick around at all.

Maybe I just know

no matter how far I go

I’ll always stand somewhere

feeling you behind me

though you haven’t been alive

in years.

 

New book: “Edge of Glory” and all that inspires it

I don’t know why I love this song and its video so much. But it did inspire me to go back to another novel I was writing when the house burned down, about a girl who wanted to be a rock star. I find Lady Gaga inspiring in so many ways, and this song/video in particular brought me back to a book I thought I wasn’t going to touch again. Probably because the concept of glory is not only in fame and fortune; it’s in perseverance and defying the odds no one ever thought you could move past.

Lady Gaga’s song “The Edge of Glory” is one of my favourites, which is why I named my book “Edge of Glory.” The book has nothing to do with Lady Gaga other than being inspired by her to once revisit it and write it, to finish it. “Edge of Glory”, “Magic Touch” and “Kawilara” were the books I lost in the house fire. The first book in the Kawilara series is completed, with the second in the works. “Magic Touch” I started again but haven’t done much on. “Edge of Glory” is the one I am focussing on right now. I found myself stuck on the Kawilara sequel and so I decided to go with the book I am inspired to write for the time being.

Nothing to lose but everything to gain. Edge of Glory is about a girl who wants to be a rock star. Think modern day Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham becomes modern day Johnny and June Carter Cash. But not totally a romance, with my signature message against child abuse. Or something like that.

Lindsay Nasrin is from an abusive home, battles some addiction and has to overcome insane odds to get to where she wants to be, also overcoming the mystery of her rock star father who she has never met. The opening scene will be her leaving her mother’s home after a fight that snaps what’s left of her patience, with $500 in her pocket to see where she can get.

I am excited for this book as much as I am to be salvaging these stories from the ashes of what once were the ruins of my life. It goes to show that glory is as much about how you persevere from adversity as it is reaching for something better and better all the time. I refuse to just walk away from a passion because an abuser tried to destroy it. I refuse to just give up on these stories, which now in essence, tell a little bit of my story, and will hopefully reach the people who are haunted by abusers. One day, these stories will hopefully haunt abusers.

~A poem~ Heartless (For Mandy)

Four a.m.;

Sleep is about as close as

the distant train

blowing out my window tonight.

Is it an early morning

or a late night?

Doesn’t really matter;

loss hurts all the same.

Like an empty freeway;

just a set of headlights

breaking the dark

and there’s nothing left to lose

or so it seems.

If ever this was supposed to be easy

I’d like to know how.

There hasn’t been hockey in months;

another excuse for greed taken over

and the dog died just yesterday.

There was nothing more they could do,

and walking away felt like

someone ripping the heart

straight from my chest and shredding it

before my own eyes.

It’s like walking around heartless

but the pain consumes.

There goes

the most vibrant dog

I’ve ever met.

And it doesn’t matter

how many deaths I see.

It never does get easy.

Cried myself to sleep just to

be awake within a few hours.

It seems ludicrous to one

who has never loved a pet

but a wet nose and wagging tail

are equivalent to

a child’s paint-covered hands

and happy eyes.

Moon’s dim sadness

streams through the window,

just a sad country song

keeps me company.

Feeling just a little tired

of all the things that go wrong.

When it’s not a hockey lockout

it’s the dog dying

or another high strung

drama queen, a brother’s ex

on the phone at 4 a.m.

but I don’t have the will

to talk to her anymore…

Even the outdoor rink

up the road is empty.

There’s a hole in the world

where lost life should remain

tonight.

But one more cigarette

and another cup of coffee

listening to trains;

another cold blow

from somewhere in the dark.

I suppose life does go on

but it seems so cruel

after my world comes

to a devastating halt.

For Mandy, the most vibrant dog I have ever met. RIP

2006-2012

Today, we lost a furbaby. Mandy was put down today. She was sick and there was nothing they could do for her. It is the loss of the most vibrant and funny dog I have ever met. A piece of the heart of the family has been ripped out today. RIP Mandy 2006-2012 ♥ ♥ ♥ Pair this with the NHL lockout, and the world really is coming to an end.

Time to question our justice system

When a woman goes to the cops claiming her abusive ex-boyfriend is stalking her, you would think the cops would listen. When it is both she and her mother reporting stalking and abusive behaviour, you would think the domestic violence unit would consider the case a little “higher-risk” than they did.

But because they didn’t, Lacey Jones-McKnight is dead.

This was a 20-year old woman who was found dead in the back of her abusive ex-boyfriend’s car in Calgary, Alberta. She and her mother apparently made repeated reports to the police that just weren’t listened to, though the Calgary police claim to have a very “effective” domestic violence unit who usually respond to cases in a timely basis.

We are also being told to mourn for Lacey instead of questioning the effectiveness of the police in Calgary and the domestic violence unit. But part of mourning for Lacey is naturally going to lead to questions. Why was nothing done when both she and her mother were reporting this dangerous behaviour? The Calgary police claim they had no indication the situation was escalating like that. But stalking behaviour IS an indication of such escalation. That same behaviour led to my mother’s abusive ex burning down our house without a second thought of who might have been inside.

It is an example of the sad reality that domestic violence simply isn’t prioritized enough in Canada’s criminal justice system. The system can lock up potheads and drug addicts for a MINIMUM of seven years and yet pedophiles go away for only two years (Graham James) and abusers who beat their partners can go away for as little as three to six months. They get charged with assault instead of actual domestic violence charges.

A so-called domestic violence unit that fails to prevent the death of a young girl who has repeatedly reported her abuser’s behaviour is not a very effective unit and we NEED to question why they are not able to prevent such tragedies. Because now; because they didn’t listen to the pleas and cries, a mother is without her daughter forever. Tell me, how effective is that?

And why is he only charged with SECOND-DEGREE murder? When an abuser kills his partner, it is deliberate and likely pre-meditated, which makes it cold-blooded, first degree murder. He was moving the body, likely in attempts to dump it, which means he knows damn well what he did was wrong.

It takes the tragic and heart wrenching death of an abuse victim before the cops step back and say “Oops, that was a little more high-risk than we thought.” But “oops” isn’t good enough. The excuses aren’t good enough. There are no excuses. The justice system has their priorities completely backwards and that is why this happened. Potheads are not the danger to society. Violent offenders who repeatedly stalk, hurt and inflict pain on their victims are the danger to society. Abusers do not stop their behaviour. There is no rehab for them. So why is the focus of the justice system not being put on them? Because drug addicts are easier to catch; it takes less actual WORK?

What’s done is done now and there is no undoing that horrific damage. But something can be learned from this. If you never before questioned how effective the justice system really is at protecting us, it is time to start. I have seen how the justice system fails abuse victims. In many cases, there has to be a death before the case will be considered high risk. Until then, the cops feign no idea of anything dangerous happening and set their priorities elsewhere, publicizing such things as if they really are taking dangerous offenders off the streets. But these offenders aren’t on the streets. They infest our homes, our families, our friends’ lives, and destroy people. They molest children, beat their partners, and burn houses. They kill the people they are supposed to love and care about. Only then does the “justice” system care, because it was too easy to catch the abuser after he was reported to the cops by her friends that she had been killed and was in the back of his car. They only care when it’s easy. But it’s time for them to toughen up and stop taking the easy way out.

There are no excuses.

 

Read more about this case: http://www.calgaryherald.com/Police+chief+says+officers+didn+know+murder+victim+high+risk+situation/7466552/story.html