~ Edge of Glory ~ I have discovered the truly frustrating part of this book…

As some of you know, Edge of Glory is one of three books I lost in the house fire back in 2004. All my notes, everything was gone. Of course, starting with Kawilara, I started them over. I figured I’d tackle this one as well…forgetting one thing…my main character in Edge of Glory is an up and coming musician. I had her songs written back before ’04…needless to say I don’t have them anymore. And that’s frustrating…starting over in general is frustrating. It is like trying to put it all back together out of ashes. It is one of those obstacles that you look back on and wonder why it had to happen.

I guess I haven’t thought about it in a long while because I never did expect to be restarting this book. It was one I didn’t think about in a long time, not until last fall, actually, when Lady Gaga released her music video for “Marry the Night.” The 13-minute long video had a bit of a story line to it that reminded me of Edge of Glory. Lady Gaga being the re-inspiration for the book is why I named it such.

So, here I am, sitting here and lamenting tonight. I haven’t been this frustrated for a while. Sales are down and what reviews I have been getting, haven’t been too good, mostly two and three stars. Is January this much of a rut for other writers out there?

This is all part of writing life. Frustration and ruts. Lamenting and loss. Sometimes more often than not. This just goes to show that the actions of others can have a very long term impact on those they victimize. It has been eight years since Mom’s abusive ex burned the house down (it will be nine this summer) and there are always little things that come up, little reminders of what he did. And yes, I get a bit mad about it, still. There are many things I still get mad about for the ten years he tried to destroy my family. But I take inspiration in knowing that by rewriting these books, I am taking back something he destroyed. The physical first drafts and notes of these novels are long gone, in ashes that don’t even sit there anymore, but the creativity never died. That was one thing he could never take from me and he never will.

So I’ll get back at it…rewriting my main character, Lindsay’s, songs and rebuilding these books to the glory they deserve.

 

Obviously not the official cover, but the image I plan on using for advertising purposes until the cover is done