Our Man in Abiko's Blog, page 23
June 18, 2012
HANA WALKER'S HALF-LIFE 2:46 - THE MOVIE
Our Man has just sent his loyal band of beta readers prototype copies of the book that will be hitting Amazon in two days' time. In the meantime, here's a little video that Our Man pieced together with bits of film and double-sided sticky tape. Just a little more now, fellow agents provocateur.
More details over at www.abikofreepress.com.
Carry on.
June 17, 2012
STATISTICS PROVE YOU WILL BE STUPIDER AFTER READING THIS POST
Extra! Extra! Extra! Read all about how the internet is destroying our ability to think! It must be true because the article HERE has a bunch of meaningless statistics that show people use the internet and apparently the ease of access to information in the digital age makes thinking far too easy and apparently people without sufficient education or ability to use card catalogues are thinking for themselves. And that means we are stupid. Well, probably it's true if we only read stupid articles on the Mainichi's internet-only edition about turning stupid by reading, er, stuff on the internet. There's an irony in there somewhere, but Our Man's digital brain can't quite grasp it. Must be all that online work he's been putting in to his latest digital book -- Hana Walker's Half-life 2:46? You like that gratuitous link? No? Then why not read a great put down of the stupid article RIGHT HERE instead.
You have your orders, now stop thinking and carry on.
Pic lifted from here.
June 16, 2012
SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALL RIGHT FOR FORMATTING
June 15, 2012
THIS? THIS IS ABIKO
The new cover for Hana Walker's Half-Life 2:46 is done. It's the (at present) unlinked pic on the top left of this here blog. If you'd like a link, you could click HERE and gain some valuable insight into the making of the cover (hint: it involves felt-tip pens).
By the way, Our Man had commissioned the excellent MARI KURISATO to design the cover, whom he would not hesitate to recommend, and she did design a stunning, professional cover worthy of a New York publishing house (and Our Man's silhouette Twitter avatar, as it happens), but Our Man changed his mind purely because he wanted to do the cover himself. That may turn out to be a pig-headed, misguided and commercially naive decision, but it's like this:
Our Man is not ashamed of self-publishing his book. In fact, he wouldn't have it any other way. He doesn't want to look, er, professional. He can't explain how he wants to look, so he just did it himself. Because...
This ain't New York. This is Abiko. Deal with it.
(BTW, the video was included because it was funny, as recommended by @BILL(Y) on twitter, and Our Man was going to work the word "awesome" in to this post to make the video relevant to the bit at the end of the routine about the word "awesome", but Our Man frankly could not be bothered, although it would probably have been less work than explaining his thinking here. Sometimes even Our Man does not understand the decisions he makes. Or agree with them.)
June 14, 2012
SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS. WELL, KINDA
Our Man started toying with writing a novel a few years ago. OK, a good few years ago. OK, OK, many, many years ago in college, he toyed with writing a novel. But he put away such childish things and got on with more pressing matters of edumacation like learning an Open G tuning on his guitar (that's the only G spot Our Man had any success at finding - ed.) and, you know, living life.
But Our Man was lucky to spend his career messing around with words. First as an obituary writer for the Log Cabin Democrat in Conway, Arkansas, then he was allowed free rain (rein? - ed.) on the weather reports and before you knew it he had what folks who make more than minimum wage call "a career". The rest of us call it a job. The long and the short of Our Man's jobbing career can be found here.
Thirteen years of writing, editing and consuming news copy later... Our Man still hadn't written a novel. Or made much more than minimum wage. Or progressed any further than Honkey Tonk Women on the guitar.
And then the newspaper business died. Our Man found himself staring at the abyss and, if he's honest, was relieved. Relieved that the bullshit of journalese, AP stylebooks, smart arse intros and stories that get progressively duller so they can be easily cut to fit around the ads, with opinions so asinine, so subverted, so mainstream (so what? - ed) So that it was sooooo time to say to Hell With All That. But what' else is there?
Oh yeah, the novel.
So, as far as Our Man is concerned, you need three things to write a good novel.
1. Something worth saying.
2. An ability to say it.
3. And something else.
Well, here's the scoop.
Our Man has been labouring away since before the earthquake on a book that has a tale worth telling; is written to the best of his ability with minimal reference to an AP stylebook and, dammit, there's an intangible something else about the book.
Is it masterpiece? A Catch 22 for the post earthquake generation?
Of course bloody not. Have you been drinking as much 7-Eleven Chile wine as Our Man? But, the book is the absolute best Our Man can write at this time. He can do no more.
Anyway, the point of this post? The point is:
Hana Walker's Half-Life 2:46
will be available on Amazon from Thursday, June 21st, 2012...
... just as long as Our Man has finished scribbling the cover and formatting the book in pesky HTML code. More details to follow...
But Our Man was lucky to spend his career messing around with words. First as an obituary writer for the Log Cabin Democrat in Conway, Arkansas, then he was allowed free rain (rein? - ed.) on the weather reports and before you knew it he had what folks who make more than minimum wage call "a career". The rest of us call it a job. The long and the short of Our Man's jobbing career can be found here.
Thirteen years of writing, editing and consuming news copy later... Our Man still hadn't written a novel. Or made much more than minimum wage. Or progressed any further than Honkey Tonk Women on the guitar.
And then the newspaper business died. Our Man found himself staring at the abyss and, if he's honest, was relieved. Relieved that the bullshit of journalese, AP stylebooks, smart arse intros and stories that get progressively duller so they can be easily cut to fit around the ads, with opinions so asinine, so subverted, so mainstream (so what? - ed) So that it was sooooo time to say to Hell With All That. But what' else is there?
Oh yeah, the novel.
So, as far as Our Man is concerned, you need three things to write a good novel.
1. Something worth saying.
2. An ability to say it.
3. And something else.
Well, here's the scoop.
Our Man has been labouring away since before the earthquake on a book that has a tale worth telling; is written to the best of his ability with minimal reference to an AP stylebook and, dammit, there's an intangible something else about the book.
Is it masterpiece? A Catch 22 for the post earthquake generation?
Of course bloody not. Have you been drinking as much 7-Eleven Chile wine as Our Man? But, the book is the absolute best Our Man can write at this time. He can do no more.
Anyway, the point of this post? The point is:
Hana Walker's Half-Life 2:46
will be available on Amazon from Thursday, June 21st, 2012...
... just as long as Our Man has finished scribbling the cover and formatting the book in pesky HTML code. More details to follow...
June 11, 2012
RECONSTRUCTING 3/11 FREE FOR A DAY
As Prime Minister Noda tries to convince a skeptical country that the nukes are perfectly safe, Our Man thought it only right that we all should get a reminder of what 3/11 means for Japan. Download your copy for free FROM HERE. You have 24 hours!
June 6, 2012
NEW BOOK HAS A NEW NAME, FOLKS
Don't hate Our Man if he fails to suppress a smug smile of satisfaction...
Not only has he received the thumbs up from his editor, Dan Ryan - of DAN RYAN fame, on his extensive rewrites to the manuscript for his latest book, but he's also moving along on the many fronts you have to move along before you can self-publish your book.
Eh?
He's decided on its title. Just a little more now and you too could own your very own copy of...
Hana Walker's Half-Life 2:46
... because that's what it's gonna be called. More details to come in a drip, drip manner just to whet your appetite (sheesh, more like Chinese water torture - ed.)
June 1, 2012
ACCIDENTS HAPPEN: A CHAPTER OF HALF-LIFE IN 50 WORDS
Our Man has been missing much of the fun with Chinese spies and genital cooking stories. But don't eat your face off (no, no, no, this doesn't work - ed.) because he has been busy. The never ending story that is his novel - codenamed Half-life - is really, seriously nearly at an end. He has just written the acknowledgments. It's maybe a couple of weeks away from publication, maybe less, cover life dependent.
In the meantime, why not check out Our Man's entry into Kimiecat's 50-word story competition. Our Man didn't win, but it was a fun exercise, not least because of the neat, FREE EBOOK HERE she made of all the entries. Our Man's 50-worder was composed over lunch and summarises the first chapter of his novel. How's that for an appetizer?
May 25, 2012
OUR MAN AND THE MAN OF THE CLOTH
Our Man had a rather good time interviewing a fake Christian priest the other day. He is quite the real deal and is even writing a book about his experiences, who knows maybe as an Abiko Free Press original. See Our Man's interview with him here - LIFTING THE VEIL ON THE JAPANESE WEDDING BIZ. Click now, or forever hold your peace.
May 23, 2012
JAPAN'S ANNULAR ECLIPSE- THE TRUTH*
Our Man has no idea why you pop by here, it surely isn't for the latest videos (Our Man's old enough to remember when this one wasn't being spoofed. Back in the day this was pretty cutting edge by UK standards. We pasty Brits even talked ourselves into believing we could give the tanned Yanks a run for their money on the creative stakes, the deluded fools that we were... remember ZX Spectrums? The Sinclair C5? Buggles? Exactly.) but he is glad you do pop by here. Because Our Man has some literally earth shaking news. Actually, not literally. Or even metaphorically. Or even news, exactly, since it is at least a couple of days old.
Our Man didn't want to rain on anyone's parade the other day, but he was a bit underwhelmed by the Ring of Fire Anal Eclipse (think you mean annular - Ed.) This once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had Our Man standing outside his bunker peering up at the skies waiting for it to get all dark and King Arthur to release his Connecticut Yankee.
The problem is this: Every picture you see of eclipses in papers and on the internet looks something like this (unless it's taken by the Japan Times in which case the eclipse has to be be partially eclipsed by the Tokyo Sky Tree too):
But here's a dirty little secret that Our Man noticed even folk who actually saw it with their very own eyes didn't let you in on. Ready? Bookmark where you got to in Chrysanthemum and Sword and pay attention... ready? It doesn't look like that at all unless you want it to. This is how the eclipse looks to the naked eye (and iPhone):
And pretty much that is how it looked to Our Man. He stood for a few seconds and between his fingers he actually saw a sort of lumpy thing moving across the sun, before he could look no more. Yeah, it was bright, dazzling even. NOT AT ALL "DAY TURNED TO NIGHT". Yeah, it was a bit darker than it normally is on a sunny day at 7:30 a.m., but only a bit. Sort of like it does when it's just beginning to get around to being dusk. But not dark. Nothing like the pictures that you see beamed around the world that say "Look, we're so cool we had a once in a lifetime experience when day turned to night! (and you didn't)"
If you feel bad that you missed the Big Annular One (Anal One? - ed.), don't. There will be another one in 80 years in Hokkaido. Or you could just wait a couple of hours and day will turn into night.
Literally.
*The truth of course is Our Man should just buy a blinking proper camera or iphone app that has all the filters, give you folks what you want and stop whinging. But where's the fun in that?
