Amber L. Carter's Blog, page 22
May 1, 2014
I know what you're thinking. And you're right:
The neon green sparkle socks DO make the outfit.
April 30, 2014
The Candida Diaries: Starting Over
It's funny, sometimes, to look back on the early days of the Candida Diaries and remember how I came into this whole thing kicking and screaming. I was sure that my life - or at least, anything good about life - was pretty much over.
And now, 4 1/2 months later, all I wanna do is go back to the early days of treatment.
I keep thinking of that Shaun White quote I talked about a couple weeks ago...about being no carb, and then you have a carb. I feel like, ever since giving myself permission to break treatment on my birthday, it's been harder and harder to stick to it. The more I break from it, the easier it is to keep breaking from it. And the more I break from it, the crappier I feel. And the crappier I feel, the more tempted I am to turn to quick fixes - a.k.a., sugar-ladden stuff - to provide that pick-me-up.
It's kind of a crap cycle.
So I've decided to do a flying body-slam onto the reset button.
A.k.a., we're doing a rematch, kids.
After some stops and starts (and then stops again), I realized that I needed some type of formal restart in order to break the pattern I was in. So I sat down and wrote myself a little contract. Whenever it comes to goals, I've learned that I have to write stuff down in a serious, binding agreement with myself...otherwise I'll just plain forget about it, or I won't take it seriously. But a contract...it encourages me to set clearly defined terms of agreement. It's also helpful when it comes to thinking about the WHY. Why am I doing this, and what is the consequence if I *don't* do this? And how am I going to set myself up for success, instead of just warning myself against failure?
The contract takes me back to the early days of treatment - no carbs, no dairy, no processed food, no sugar, no fruit, etc - but also makes for a couple of allowances that I know will be crucial for me in order to stick to this long-term. For one, I can have an alcoholic beverage on rare, special occasions - two times a month, max, and a two drink maximum. The drinks must either be champagne, white wine, or vodka and club soda (they have the lowest sugar and carb content) - no beer, no red wine, no mixed drinks. I don't really like drinking all that much anymore, anyway, but I know enough about myself by now to know that I need to have built-in permission to occasionally imbibe when it comes to celebrations, otherwise I'm going to want to revolt and do a Hulk Smash on everything else, too.
[From Easter] Jesus died and rose again, which proves that he loves me and would want me to have this mimosa. #cheersJesus #candidadiaries
I can also have 2 cups of decaf Americano or one 20 oz. decaf coconut almond milk latte a day. Being able to have this in my daily life makes me feel human, but I also don't want to go crazy with it, either - if I let myself have three lattes a day, I will. So I'm building in the kind of moderation that feels safe and makes these things seem like a reward.
My favorite baristas in the world let me bring in almond coconut milk for my lattes, and it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE. #candidadiaries #lattejoy
However, I also added a caveat to the contract: If I actively make a good choice - abstain from present alcohol, cake, chocolate, etc, and/or choose treatment-based choices while eating out or traveling, I get to reward myself. I set up two separate savings accounts: One is for travel, and the other is for super sweet workout gear (like yoga pants from Athleta, etc...I have a really hard time rationalizing $100 yoga pants, even though the fabric feels like your body is being massaged by a freaking cloud. However, if that $100 comes from treatment-based rewards? I am totally okay with buying out their whole stock of yoga pants). Whenever I actively choose to stick to my treatment over the above temptations, I get to deposit a certain amount into one of these accounts. This way, I have permission to indulge, but a strong motivation not to.
Along with the basics of no carb, no sugar, etc, I added in some extras to round stuff out: An apple cider vinegar shot a day, daily dose of vitamins, daily yoga and/or strength training. The other thing I added into the contract was a term to share this stuff more often on Instagram, Twitter, and other social media outlets. To be more visible with it, with what I'm doing day in and day out. First, I always get great feedback - my friend Stacy basically saved my life when she saw a photo of my apple cider vinegar tea and advised me to just do a shot of it and chase it with water instead. Second, it helps *me* stick to treatment if I'm mindful of documenting it for my own edification. Third, it just makes this stuff more fun.
So, basically, get ready for a lot of super boring yoga-pants selfies and food shots.
WOOT WOOT!
***
For up-to-the-minute photos and updates, you can also follow my *other* blog over on Tumblr. I've also made a board over on Pinterest for The Candida Diaries, which will include posts, photos, and other resources around the web for those of you who want to know more about this whole candida overgrowth shiz.
And now, 4 1/2 months later, all I wanna do is go back to the early days of treatment.
I keep thinking of that Shaun White quote I talked about a couple weeks ago...about being no carb, and then you have a carb. I feel like, ever since giving myself permission to break treatment on my birthday, it's been harder and harder to stick to it. The more I break from it, the easier it is to keep breaking from it. And the more I break from it, the crappier I feel. And the crappier I feel, the more tempted I am to turn to quick fixes - a.k.a., sugar-ladden stuff - to provide that pick-me-up.
It's kind of a crap cycle.
So I've decided to do a flying body-slam onto the reset button.
A.k.a., we're doing a rematch, kids.
After some stops and starts (and then stops again), I realized that I needed some type of formal restart in order to break the pattern I was in. So I sat down and wrote myself a little contract. Whenever it comes to goals, I've learned that I have to write stuff down in a serious, binding agreement with myself...otherwise I'll just plain forget about it, or I won't take it seriously. But a contract...it encourages me to set clearly defined terms of agreement. It's also helpful when it comes to thinking about the WHY. Why am I doing this, and what is the consequence if I *don't* do this? And how am I going to set myself up for success, instead of just warning myself against failure?
The contract takes me back to the early days of treatment - no carbs, no dairy, no processed food, no sugar, no fruit, etc - but also makes for a couple of allowances that I know will be crucial for me in order to stick to this long-term. For one, I can have an alcoholic beverage on rare, special occasions - two times a month, max, and a two drink maximum. The drinks must either be champagne, white wine, or vodka and club soda (they have the lowest sugar and carb content) - no beer, no red wine, no mixed drinks. I don't really like drinking all that much anymore, anyway, but I know enough about myself by now to know that I need to have built-in permission to occasionally imbibe when it comes to celebrations, otherwise I'm going to want to revolt and do a Hulk Smash on everything else, too.
[From Easter] Jesus died and rose again, which proves that he loves me and would want me to have this mimosa. #cheersJesus #candidadiariesI can also have 2 cups of decaf Americano or one 20 oz. decaf coconut almond milk latte a day. Being able to have this in my daily life makes me feel human, but I also don't want to go crazy with it, either - if I let myself have three lattes a day, I will. So I'm building in the kind of moderation that feels safe and makes these things seem like a reward.
My favorite baristas in the world let me bring in almond coconut milk for my lattes, and it makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE. #candidadiaries #lattejoyHowever, I also added a caveat to the contract: If I actively make a good choice - abstain from present alcohol, cake, chocolate, etc, and/or choose treatment-based choices while eating out or traveling, I get to reward myself. I set up two separate savings accounts: One is for travel, and the other is for super sweet workout gear (like yoga pants from Athleta, etc...I have a really hard time rationalizing $100 yoga pants, even though the fabric feels like your body is being massaged by a freaking cloud. However, if that $100 comes from treatment-based rewards? I am totally okay with buying out their whole stock of yoga pants). Whenever I actively choose to stick to my treatment over the above temptations, I get to deposit a certain amount into one of these accounts. This way, I have permission to indulge, but a strong motivation not to.
Along with the basics of no carb, no sugar, etc, I added in some extras to round stuff out: An apple cider vinegar shot a day, daily dose of vitamins, daily yoga and/or strength training. The other thing I added into the contract was a term to share this stuff more often on Instagram, Twitter, and other social media outlets. To be more visible with it, with what I'm doing day in and day out. First, I always get great feedback - my friend Stacy basically saved my life when she saw a photo of my apple cider vinegar tea and advised me to just do a shot of it and chase it with water instead. Second, it helps *me* stick to treatment if I'm mindful of documenting it for my own edification. Third, it just makes this stuff more fun.
So, basically, get ready for a lot of super boring yoga-pants selfies and food shots.
WOOT WOOT!
***
For up-to-the-minute photos and updates, you can also follow my *other* blog over on Tumblr. I've also made a board over on Pinterest for The Candida Diaries, which will include posts, photos, and other resources around the web for those of you who want to know more about this whole candida overgrowth shiz.
April 18, 2014
You win some chances to have your poem read by your favorite person on your favorite show, and you lose some.
Yeah boi.So, this morning I got the news that my poem didn't make the final edit of
Mad on Chelsea
. Which, you know...is okay! The knowledge that Proudlock still read it with his gorgeous lips, and the fact that I got to be a part of a crazy journey where it was even a *possibility*? I'll take it.
This is him, reading my poem after he saved it on his phone. But now that #MadonChelsea knows me? YOU BETTER BET EVERYTHING YOU HAVE THAT I'M GONNA GET ON THAT SHOW AGAIN.April 17, 2014
April 16, 2014
Nice little Wednesday.
Woke up to this little DM today.
NO BIG DEAL GUYS, MY POEM'S JUST GOING TO BE READ ON ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE SHOWS BY THE GUY I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON.
NO BIG DEAL GUYS, MY POEM'S JUST GOING TO BE READ ON ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE SHOWS BY THE GUY I HAVE THE BIGGEST CRUSH ON.
April 15, 2014
5 Ways To Tackle Tax Day Like a Motherf#^%er
Today I continued my long-standing tradition of filing my taxes on the last possible day. Hi-5, Adulthood!
Three years ago, my procrastination even got me on the news - Jason DeRusha showed up to my barren Uptown apartment (I was preparing to move up north to a tiny cabin on the lake and had already sold off most of my possessions...more on that story at 5!), noticed that the fly to my skirt was down (I was wearing leggings underneath, thank god, proving once again that leggings are the answer to everything), and then asked me some questions about why I was so lazy and when was I going to take my role as a responsible tax-paying American citizen seriously for once, huh?! (just kidding. He didn't ask me those things. My dad did).
It's not that I dread it. I don't. The past few years have made taxes more complicated (1099's and expenses from published books and a move from Wisconsin to Minnesota and back again did not make things simple), but I use Turbo Tax, which usually makes filing a no-brainer. This year was a bit more complicated in that I had to meet with an expert to help me navigate the rules of a charity project I produced this year, but I still waited to file.
Why? Because I like making a day of it. I like feeling like April 14 is a special day on the calendar, reserved just for the act of doing taxes. I practically look forward to it.
Here's how:
1) Much like waiting to sleep with someone, the longer you wait, the more special it feels when you finally do it. Okay. Maaaaybe not. BUT: Reserving a special day just for taxes can make the task feel more special. Instead of trying to pack it into a day already filled with to-dos and obligatory tasks, I simply clear my calendar on April 14th and make sure it's the only thing I have to get done that day (I'm lucky in that I work from home and can do taxes whenever I want to. I don't know if I would feel the same if I had to do my taxes on the weekend). Then, when I done with them earlier than expected? I get the rest of the day for fun stuff. Double positive reinforcement.
2) Keep everything you need for taxes in a designated, brightly-colored, ultra-pretty placeIn past years, I started to realize that my least-favorite part of taxes was trying to gather everything - W2's, receipts of expenses, 1099s, donation receipts, etc. Half of it was still online and half of it was in a pile at the bottom of my desk drawer. Being someone who is as anti-clutter as I am, this didn't make sense. So I found a super pretty box and designated that as my keep-all for everything tax-related. Anything that might even be remotely needed during tax time goes into that box. This year I'm going to actually organize a system within that box to organize everything that goes into it when it goes into it. Goals!
3) Make it easy on yourself, pal This is pretty much my defining factor for everything. I use Turbo Tax because it's freaking easy, and it's easier every next year that I use it. A lot of my freelance/art friends use Fox Tax in Minneapolis, and I've heard nothing but gushing appreciation for the way they make taxes both easy and cool. I've yet to use tax houses like H.R. Block, but I have friends who do and they each tell me they will never, ever go back to doing their own taxes again. Like most things, you have to make a decision: Do you want them done fast, cheap, or easy? Rarely are you going to get all three, so decide which two are the most important. Sometimes, with stuff like taxes, its's totally okay - and smart - to Treat Yo' Self to a service or person who actually likes taxes and will be happy to do them for you.
4) Feng Shui the shit out of Tax Day I light a pretty scented green candle, clear my desk, put on some rad music, and think awesome thoughts about how awesome money is: It can produce more art! It can take you on trips around the world! It can change lives through charity! It can brighten your friend's day with awesome gifts! I also put myself in the mindset that doing taxes gives me a chance to review everything I've accomplished, money-wise and life-wise, in the past year. In 2013, I published two books, produced a calendar for charity, and started a lifestyle blog. I lived in Wisconsin for a full year. I got out of the copywriting business and started serving at a local brewpub, which made everything - work life, writing life, finance life - easier and much, much happier.
At the risk of sounding super cheesy, Tax Day is like everything in that it's all about how you approach it. If you approach it as a soul-sucking, totally sucktown task, guess what - candy-filled rainbows and hot guys from Firefly aren't going to suddenly show up and prove you wrong. But if you're determined to make it at least a little fun, chances are, you'll surprise yourself with how easy that is.
5) Make it a Holidaaaaaay! (Celebraaaate!)What happens on holidays? You get good things, like candy, or a day off from work. That's why Tax Day is my special, personal holiday - I clear my calendar from other usual work stuff, and I give myself permission for something special during (professionally-made latte of my choice - within treatment guidelines, of course) and after (still undecided on what it will be for this year...probably this or this)
And then fucking celebrate. You're done with your fucking taxes! Another year, in the books. You've done your job as a US citizen, and have contributed to our continued success as one of the best countries in the world. You're a responsible, hard-working adult who is a merit to our society, even it's only for the simple reason that you're not - according to the IRS, if not your mother-in-law - a common street bum. Be proud of yourself! Give yourself a pat on the back. You did it, my friend.
WE ALL DID IT.
(Even if it was at the last minute, we all did it)
April 14, 2014
Messages from the street.
monsterbeard:
The gangs in this neighborhood are out of control.
- Erica of beenthinking: "Forever my favorite graffiti in LA. #runyoncanyon
My favorite piece of graffiti that I saw while in LA was “FUCK YOUR JUICE CLEANSE”, scrawled on a building near the Beverly Center. LA, you’re sneaking right into my heart. LIKE A VEGAN-HATING, JUICE-CLEANSE-ESCHEWING BANDIT!
April 11, 2014
A shot of vinegar, chased by some #realtalk. (The Candida Diaries, Week 11)
So it seems that the further I get in my candida overgrowth treatment, the more complicated life gets.
Coming back from LA and getting back on the treatment front was tougher than I had anticipated. Around the end of January, I read this interview with Shaun White where he was talking about training or something and he noted that it was like going no-carb, being really good about being no-carb, and then you have a carb. The discipline gets weaker after that point, because you've subconsciously given yourself permission to not be so disciplined anymore.
I seriously think about that parallel all the time.
When I came back, I had every intention of hitting it hard again - going totally full-blown early stage of treatment to get my body back on track. But about two days after coming back, I embarked on a nanny/housesitting gig for a week. One of the things I'm learning is that it's so much easier for me to stick to my treatment when I'm in my own environment, when I have control over what's in front of me (and what's not). Taking care of a kid who only eats things like Totino's Pizza Rolls, macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and Dairy Queen Blizzards? Straight up TORTURE. If I had been rocking my hardline treatment for weeks, I think I might've been able to stay strong and resist, but coming off of California and still trying to get the sugar and other shiz out of my system? Lots of Fails.
Sometimes I wish that these Candida Diaries could be missives of inspiration...of, "This is so hard, but so worth it, and I'm here to tell you all about how I conquered daily struggles and YOU CAN TOO!" It is so hard, and it is worth it, but sometimes I don't do such a great job of conquering the daily struggles. And sometimes I'm tempted to gloss over stuff so you guys will think that I'm totally doing awesome with this thing, but the truth is? It's a fucking struggle every damn day. It's gotten easier, I will admit - instead of always wanting to break my treatment because I just want the things I could have before but now shouldn't have, my motivation is now wanting to get back to the clean lines because of the way it makes me feel. The battle, these days, is mostly with continuing to make good choices on weak days or when faced with upheavals to my routine and carefully organized environments.
The hard part, ironically, is when the fails don't affect me in the way that I predict they will. Not getting physically sick after The California Indulgences is likely a sign that my body/gut has healed a bit since starting my treatment. Which is both awesome and not awesome, because I know my jerk self is going to try to use that against me when I'm tempted to have something I know I shouldn't. Also, I didn't gain a single pound while in California. When I got back, I decided to step on the scale just to get an idea of where I was at and the damage I had done, fully expecting that the number would be higher than when I left. Nope. And that stuff is great in a certain respect, but totally dangerous for my "I can do whatever I WANT!" sabotaging tendencies.
But now that I'm home and will be home for another two weeks (I have a lot of travel planned in the next couple months, something I'm excited about but also slightly dreading in terms of my treatment), I'm committed to hitting my treatment with full force again. I miss the way it makes me feel, when I'm totally on the level and only filling my body with things that are great for it. I'm trying to not put emphasis on the fact that it's going to be summer soon and sticking to my treatment will help me get more in shape for it...because when I embark on that type of thinking I tend to get consumed by it and then I start to measure my progress by the way I look on the outside instead of how I feel on the inside, and that's bullshit for me right now.
Coupl'a new things:
Based on the advice of a couple of different sources, I've started to do a shot of raw apple cider vinegar (I initially was advised to add a shot of it to a cup of hot water and drink it which was AWFUL, until my friend Stacy saved me by suggesting that I just down the shot and then chase it with water) every morning before breakfast. Candida and raw apple cider vinegar haaaaate each other - the vinegar is one thing that actually kills off candida yeast overgrowth, making it one of the best things you can add to your candida overgrowth treatment. I'm only doing this in the morning before breakfast, though...since the vinegar actually kills yeast overgrowth, it causes a die-off reaction, and too much die-off all at once can make you feel literally sick.
This photo makes it look like taking apple cider vinegar is a lot prettier than it actually is.Let me say this: I can already tell that the vinegar is making me feel better. My insides feel...cleaner, when I do it (probably because I'm ingesting FREAKING VINEGAR). However...if you don't have to take it, fucking don't. It is seriously an exercise in steely will and determination every morning to down that shot. It makes my eyes pop out in ways that whiskey never could, and I literally cannot get that water chaser down fast enough.
I've also added vitamins and supplements. My whole adult life I've tried to add vitamins into my regular routine, but it's always been one more thing for me to remember, which means that I would maybe take those vitamins once a month. But since I'm now actively killing off overgrowth with the apple cider vinegar, I need that extra boost of vitamins C, D, calcium, and magnesium to help me still feel a'ight in the midst of die-off. There are more vitamins and supplements that I will be exploring in the future, but for now, I figured that it's best to keep the number of daily vitamins small so that I can actually be successful at taking them every day.
The best part of Week 11? Thanks to my delight with Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and their coconut almond milk usage, I started making my own homemade version. I combine coconut milk and almond milk (I like the unsweetened Silk brand for both) with a couple shots of decaf espresso and a bit of hot water, and BOOM. Perfectly dreamy way to start my morning.
This morning's latte was so good I had to take a photo of it:
My latte joy is back, team!
I am delighted. Also, I love this photo because it makes it look like the coffee cup is a part of my face.
So that's the jam this week. Rocking the probiotics (always), shots of apple cider vinegar, a daily dose of vitamins, and rounding it out with a little candida-friendly latte joy.
See you cats next week!
Coming back from LA and getting back on the treatment front was tougher than I had anticipated. Around the end of January, I read this interview with Shaun White where he was talking about training or something and he noted that it was like going no-carb, being really good about being no-carb, and then you have a carb. The discipline gets weaker after that point, because you've subconsciously given yourself permission to not be so disciplined anymore.
I seriously think about that parallel all the time.
When I came back, I had every intention of hitting it hard again - going totally full-blown early stage of treatment to get my body back on track. But about two days after coming back, I embarked on a nanny/housesitting gig for a week. One of the things I'm learning is that it's so much easier for me to stick to my treatment when I'm in my own environment, when I have control over what's in front of me (and what's not). Taking care of a kid who only eats things like Totino's Pizza Rolls, macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets, and Dairy Queen Blizzards? Straight up TORTURE. If I had been rocking my hardline treatment for weeks, I think I might've been able to stay strong and resist, but coming off of California and still trying to get the sugar and other shiz out of my system? Lots of Fails.
Sometimes I wish that these Candida Diaries could be missives of inspiration...of, "This is so hard, but so worth it, and I'm here to tell you all about how I conquered daily struggles and YOU CAN TOO!" It is so hard, and it is worth it, but sometimes I don't do such a great job of conquering the daily struggles. And sometimes I'm tempted to gloss over stuff so you guys will think that I'm totally doing awesome with this thing, but the truth is? It's a fucking struggle every damn day. It's gotten easier, I will admit - instead of always wanting to break my treatment because I just want the things I could have before but now shouldn't have, my motivation is now wanting to get back to the clean lines because of the way it makes me feel. The battle, these days, is mostly with continuing to make good choices on weak days or when faced with upheavals to my routine and carefully organized environments.
The hard part, ironically, is when the fails don't affect me in the way that I predict they will. Not getting physically sick after The California Indulgences is likely a sign that my body/gut has healed a bit since starting my treatment. Which is both awesome and not awesome, because I know my jerk self is going to try to use that against me when I'm tempted to have something I know I shouldn't. Also, I didn't gain a single pound while in California. When I got back, I decided to step on the scale just to get an idea of where I was at and the damage I had done, fully expecting that the number would be higher than when I left. Nope. And that stuff is great in a certain respect, but totally dangerous for my "I can do whatever I WANT!" sabotaging tendencies.
But now that I'm home and will be home for another two weeks (I have a lot of travel planned in the next couple months, something I'm excited about but also slightly dreading in terms of my treatment), I'm committed to hitting my treatment with full force again. I miss the way it makes me feel, when I'm totally on the level and only filling my body with things that are great for it. I'm trying to not put emphasis on the fact that it's going to be summer soon and sticking to my treatment will help me get more in shape for it...because when I embark on that type of thinking I tend to get consumed by it and then I start to measure my progress by the way I look on the outside instead of how I feel on the inside, and that's bullshit for me right now.
Coupl'a new things:
Based on the advice of a couple of different sources, I've started to do a shot of raw apple cider vinegar (I initially was advised to add a shot of it to a cup of hot water and drink it which was AWFUL, until my friend Stacy saved me by suggesting that I just down the shot and then chase it with water) every morning before breakfast. Candida and raw apple cider vinegar haaaaate each other - the vinegar is one thing that actually kills off candida yeast overgrowth, making it one of the best things you can add to your candida overgrowth treatment. I'm only doing this in the morning before breakfast, though...since the vinegar actually kills yeast overgrowth, it causes a die-off reaction, and too much die-off all at once can make you feel literally sick.
This photo makes it look like taking apple cider vinegar is a lot prettier than it actually is.Let me say this: I can already tell that the vinegar is making me feel better. My insides feel...cleaner, when I do it (probably because I'm ingesting FREAKING VINEGAR). However...if you don't have to take it, fucking don't. It is seriously an exercise in steely will and determination every morning to down that shot. It makes my eyes pop out in ways that whiskey never could, and I literally cannot get that water chaser down fast enough. I've also added vitamins and supplements. My whole adult life I've tried to add vitamins into my regular routine, but it's always been one more thing for me to remember, which means that I would maybe take those vitamins once a month. But since I'm now actively killing off overgrowth with the apple cider vinegar, I need that extra boost of vitamins C, D, calcium, and magnesium to help me still feel a'ight in the midst of die-off. There are more vitamins and supplements that I will be exploring in the future, but for now, I figured that it's best to keep the number of daily vitamins small so that I can actually be successful at taking them every day.
The best part of Week 11? Thanks to my delight with Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and their coconut almond milk usage, I started making my own homemade version. I combine coconut milk and almond milk (I like the unsweetened Silk brand for both) with a couple shots of decaf espresso and a bit of hot water, and BOOM. Perfectly dreamy way to start my morning.
This morning's latte was so good I had to take a photo of it:
My latte joy is back, team!
I am delighted. Also, I love this photo because it makes it look like the coffee cup is a part of my face. So that's the jam this week. Rocking the probiotics (always), shots of apple cider vinegar, a daily dose of vitamins, and rounding it out with a little candida-friendly latte joy.
See you cats next week!
April 8, 2014
Please Allow Me to Introduce My New Favorite Thing
Previously: Dirtbag Anne of Green Gables. MEG: Jowhat are you doing in Father’s office all the time?
[JO kicks her steel-toed boots onto the desk]
JO: writin smut
wanna read it
MEG: …yes
MEG: all right
we’re off to the play with Laurie
JO: don’t wait up
AMY: can I come too?
JO: don’t be ridiculous
AMY [whispering]: I’m going to burn what you love and marry your boyfriend
JO: what
AMY: have such a fun time
at the play
[MEG runs into the room]
MEG: I’m getting married!
BETH: Congratulations!
AMY: Congratulations!
[JO is idly poking at the ashes in the fireplace]
MEG: Jo, did you hear me? Mr. Brooke proposed to me and I accepted him!
[JO draws a dick in the ashes]
JO: I heard you
JO: has anyone seen my manuscript
MEG: no
BETH: no
AMY: no
saw a fire that looked an awful lot like your manuscript though
[The girls are ice skating on the pond]AMY: i’m tired
i’m tired and this sucks
winter sucks
take me home
[Amy falls through the ice]
AMY: HELP ME
JO: sorry
cant hear you
AMY: CHRIST I’M DROWNING
JO: let me know if you see my manuscript down there- via The Toast
