Kathryn Mockler's Blog, page 17

"For those to whom it matters."

Back cover of The Anstruther Reader (Palimpsest Press, 2024)

Look at this list. [Though by no means “complete”] here are sixty Canadian poets who I’ve more or less lived with, read, this past decade. Spines I lovingly caress as I walk down my hall. These names “my familiar.”

Many listed here, I can tell you a story (as I’m certain they have theirs!) either encountering them on the page or IRL. Kess rushing up the steps to knife | fork | book to share excitement over a recent poet/poem read, Angela Hibbs rocking my world at Take Cover Books, a walk through Jean Talon Market and a coffee w/Klara in Montreal, hearing the majesty of M. Travis Lane at Poetry Weekend, a burger at Allen’s with James, John Nyman’s spectacular oratories (and hair!), the signature grace of Michael Prior, smiles between T. Liem and me, Matthew Walsh busting a move in the dance studio, meeting Lily Wang at the corner of Yonge/Bloor to buy their debut during the pandemic. Bardia’s casually distinct voice, searing poems, and infectious grin. The captivating radiance of Oubah Osman (a hushed room of enrapt celebrants). Hot soup and heartfelt conversation with Tolu in Vancouver. Mahalia’s joy. Sharing tears, laughter and Radiohead on the road with Shane. Crushes. Pilot lights lit. Meeting/s for the first time. “So glad to finally hear you!”

Is this what is meant by community? The occasion to meet. Wanting to meet. Share a moment. Listen. Top off our tanks until we’re down two quarts, seek to be filled again.

What all of these poets, these names have in common (including my own) is that we’ve all had the grand good pleasure of meeting, reading and working with poet, writer, editor, essayist, publisher, community builder, JIM JOHNSTONE celebrating a decade of publishing poetry chapbooks, broadsides and manifestos at Anstruther Press along with partner, Erica Smith and this momentous anthology, The Anstruther Reader (Palimpsest Press, 2024).

Jim Johnstone & Erica Smith of Anstruther Press

Jim Johnstone. Sure, you know the guy… tall glass of water in a ball cap, Frankenstein tatt, the one who, if you’re a poet of note, most likely published you this past decade? Edited you. Came to your readings. Showed up. Bought your books.

I don’t know of anyone more serving/giving than Jim Johnstone. Or more patient, encouraging, kind. Hundreds of poets have benefitted in one way or another meeting Jim. Many debuted or have created something pretty with Anstruther. And I simply cannot imagine the Canadian Poetry landscape without him.

“I rarely admit to writing poetry when talking to people I’ve just met,” Jim smiles, “Asked what I do for a living…I sometimes default to “freelance writer,” or more often than not leave out writer altogether…The reality though, is that I cobble together a living writing, editing, publishing, and reviewing poetry—a pursuit that demands almost fanatical commitment.”

I’ve been stuck in too many conversations where I led with ‘poet’ and received blank looks to continue to introduce myself as one. - Jim Johnstone, Bait & Switch

I so completely get this (every poet does) to the point if you have to refer to yourself as a poet, begs the question. Egalitarian as it may seem, anyone and everyone can call themselves a poet, (and they do).

“So why bother with poetry?,” Johnstone posits. “My answer is that poetry is an irresistible force, a guiding principle for those to whom it matters.”

This opens Johnstone’s collection of principally essays and reviews, Bait & Switch one of the first offerings from the newly-owned and operated The Porcupine’s Quill (2024), highlighting a soul-stirring essay on his editing relationship with Tolu Oloruntoba, along with reviews of Nyla Matuk, Karen Solie, and Michael Prior to name but a few. Learning to write reviews myself, it helps to see what a good one actually looks like.

Jim Johnstone, seated here with Michael Prior in my living room.1. CHAPBOOKS ARE THE IDEAL UNIT OF POETRY

Johnstone declares in his love letter to the essential, enduring quality of micropresses in Canada, Write Print Fold and Staple (Gaspereau Press, 2024).

From the book: “Fast-forward to the present and Anstruther publishes upwards of fifteen to twenty poetry titles per year while also printing broadsides and manifestos. Assembling books by hand has stuck with me, and one of the reasons I’ve been able to persist is that Anstruther titles are produced in much the same way as the books I made in elementary school—folded and stapled—only now with the aid of a printer and photocopier (and, beautiful cover/design work by Erica Smith). These are the tools of the trade…”

Of course, Jim’s being modest here (I harken back to “a pursuit that demands almost fanatical commitment”). And, I can attest. Most micropresses “disappear” after a year or two, realizing there’s little to no money (nor thanks) to the endeavour. You have to know, be clear, exactly what you’re committed to.

I’ll never forget when Jim coined the phrase, and said Kirby, “let’s do it for the poets.”

To this day.

But, make no mistake, it takes its toll. Jim & I both find ourselves at an age we have to do less, not in the quality of the book-in-hand itself, but output.

Jim Johnstone and Kirby at Women’s Art Association of Canada (celebrating Molly Peacock).

Then comes this amazing dialogue [in print] between publishers and poets, Andrew Steeves, Klara du Plessis, Christopher Patton, and Johnstone (with an intro by Lisa Fishman) Fast-Vanishing Speech (that title alone) a talk given on Literary Criticism at Gaspereau Press’ Wayzgoose 2023, and, I would say, a perfectly divine chapbook.

And, even though it technically came out late 2023, I must make note here of Johnstone’s most personal collection of poetry to date, The King of Terrors (Coach House Books). The heart laid bare. Unsparring, sparse densities, the immediacy of life facing a brain tumour diagnosis. Searing “truths” made all the more urgent through the intensities, this lens of life and death.

I remember seeing Jim for the first time after surgery, his bandana only drawing more focus to the fire in his eyes and smile. His signature Black Sabbath T-shirt. We stood on his rooftop overlooking the lake. That breeze and the clouds. His arm around me.

Jim & Kirby on a walk in Jim’s neighbourhood.

We took a walk around his neighbourhood, him showing me the spots he likes to pay attention to. This man who walks with me. When I began to physically age, slow down since the pandemic, taking my hand, I would stop and say, “look at this!,” and yes, there was delight there, but mostly him knowing I simply needed to pause, catch my breath.

We both love breakfast, Chew Chews our favourite haunt: Jim, the four-egg benny w/peameal, me, the florentine w/a side of bacon extra-crisp. He so misses coffee (who wouldn’t?). Sometimes we talk shop, laugh over what constitutes as “drama” on social media (when Jim texts his laugh it’s BAHAHAHAHA!). Mostly, we simply encourage and love each other. Are warmer for it.

Is this what community is? Perhaps how they start or find sustenance. As poet Henri Cole knows, “you need a best friend in poetry.”

Jim & I on a winter stroll through campus.

I might even say good friends suffice, “touchstones,” those who challenge/inspire you only to be more you, or just someone you can be yourself with. Is there a greater gift?

So, if you haven’t thanked your publisher, or editor, or teacher/mentor, consultant, friend of late, haven’t congratulated someone on their new title/s or shared how you’ve been touched. Wished them well. These things do matter. I know they do to you, community.

Jim. What a year. Congrats my friend.

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I wanted to find my “voice” but had no idea where to look.

Voice is one of the most compelling elements of any form of creative writing. It’s the thing that really makes your story or novel or play or screenplay unique.

Voice draws your reader into your work and is often what keeps them reading.

When I first started writing, the idea of voice felt very intimidating. How do you create voice? How do I find my voice? I wanted to find my “voice” but had no idea where to look.

Essentially voice the special thing only you can bring to your own writing. It's connected to all the choices you make in terms of tone, style, word choice, diction, and sentence structure.

Voice is what you say and how you say it—in your narration, in your dialogue, in your descriptions, and all your choices of phrasing.

While there's no easy trick to finding your voice, there are a couple of exercises that can help you begin to recognize and develop it:

Free writing can help bring your voice to the forefront because you will be less critical and self-conscious with this type of writing. Every morning set aside between 10 and 30 minutes and just write without purpose. See who and what emerges on the page. You'll be surprised.

Recording yourself is another way to capture your own voice. Try explaining something to someone. It can be as simple as how to brush your teeth. Or recording yourself telling a favourite family story. Then transcribe these recordings to see if you can hear your particular way of speaking.

Writing monologues can draw out voice because voice is a central element of the form.

Listening for voice when you observe/listen to conversations.

Reading voice-driven fiction, monologues, plays, and screenplays.

Write the same paragraph (yours or someone else’s) using five different voices to convey the information. For example, write it from the voice of a five year old then try from an elderly person. Then try it from a voice of someone who is depressed and then someone who is out to lunch. See how the paragraph changes depending on these choices.

Writing Prompt

List five topics you feel strongly about.

List five settings where your story can take place such as a barber shop, doctor's office, elementary school, etc.

List five people who could be characters in your story. Hey, your characters don't have to be people. Think of an armchair monologuing to a coffee table. What would it say?

Then pick one topic, one setting, and two characters and write a monologue in which one character passionately tries to convince another character to have the same position as them on this topic. Have them use an anecdote or story to illustrate their point.

If you're up for it, write a monologue from the other person's point of view in which they have the opposite opinion and are trying to convince your first character to see the topic their way using their own anecdote.

Structure, goals, and conflict are embedded in this prompt.

Because your first character wants to convince the second character of something, there is a goal. Because it's something the character feels passionately about there are some stakes attached that will bleed into the monologues.

The conflict is the result of the differing of opinions and opposing wants.

The story will resolve itself with the characters succeeding or failing in their goals.

Share your process of this writing prompt or your results in the comments.

Leave a comment

For Inspiration

Five Short Stories from The Teeth of Comb by Osama Alomar, The Paris Review

"Boy in Hoodie" by Daniel MacIvor, The Rusty Toque

"Space Man" by Kathy Fish, Fictionaut

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When I'm writing dialogue, I often hear the voices of the characters in my head.

"Dialogue...grows from the character and the conflict, and, in its turn, reveals the character and carries the action." —Lajos Egri from The Art of Dramatic Writing

Dialogue

Effective dialogue communicates character, moves the story forward, and reinforces theme without stating it outright. This is called subtext—the meaning of what is being said is implicit.

In other words, the reader understands the meaning even though it is unexpressed by the characters. Often what the characters don’t say is more important than what they do say. Characters pausing, being silent, not responding to what another character says is also an important part of dialogue writing.

When I'm writing dialogue, I often hear the voices of the characters in my head. Sometimes I plan out a scene or what the conflict is going to be, but it’s the voices that propel me forward.

If I'm feeling stuck with my dialogue, I read some plays or screenplays (even if I'm writing fiction) to immerse myself in dialogue and that usually gets the ball rolling again.

I also eavesdrop on conversations when I'm in public which not only tunes me into dialogue, but also it provides me with material for more stories.

Just don't get caught! I have found people don't like it when you write down their conversations!

Dialogue Writing Tips

These are not rules but some general advice for writing dialogue. You will find many examples that subvert this advice. If you are new to dialogue writing, I hope these suggestions help.

Avoid long blocks of dialogue. I generally advise writers to keep their dialogue to line or two, three maximum. The exception would be if a character is giving a speech or a lecture or delivering a monologue or you’re doing it for a clear purpose. Occasionally you’ll have a character who is chatty, but having some back and forth between the characters can help make your dialogue sound more nature. Ideally we want to avoid the dialogue sounding like it’s for the benefit of the reader to get information.

Avoid info dumping. If the readers feel like they are being spoonfed information or backstory or a plot point, they will be pulled out of your story. A great way to provide readers information with dialogue is if there is conflict in the scene. This allows you to provide backstory, characterization, plot while moving the story forward and creating tension.

Cut your "wells". It’s very common to write “well” at the beginning of a line of dialogue. I don’t know why we do this, but almost every writer does this in a first draft. The word “well” makes your dialogue sound artificial, and it can make your story unnecessarily wordy.

Less is generally more. Dialogue that does not reveal character or further the story is often extraneous. Read your dialogue aloud. If you can cut a word, a line, or a speech and still have the scene make sense—cut it. Then re-read the dialogue and cut again. If a look or a gesture can convey the same meaning, use the visual instead.

Avoid long speeches. Consider avoiding long speeches, especially those that begin "Remember when" or "I remember" or "When I was young" as this can lead to unnecessary exposition in your dialogue.

Differentiate your characters from each other and from you. Writers sometimes run into a common dialogue problem where all their characters sound alike and sound just like the writer. Ideally each character should have their own voice and speech patterns. Listen to the way that people speak in your life.

Avoid being intimidated by dialogue. Many prose writers that I talk to are often intimidated writing dialogue. They are worried their dialogue might sound wooden, unnatural, or embarrassing. So many screenwriters are worried that their dialogue lacks subtext or is on-the-nose which is another way of saying expositional or too obvious. It’s fine to have on-the-nose dialogue in a first draft because it’s important that you know what your characters are thinking and feeling. You can always pare it down in subsequent drafts. Try and not censor yourself. Let your characters speak and see where it takes them and you!

Writing Prompt

Think of a conversation you had recently with someone in person or on the phone. Write down as much as you can remember from the conversation. Don't worry if it's boring or not dramatic. I recently had a phone conversation with my mother where I said, "Do you have anything left to say?" And she said, "No, do you have anything left to say?" And I said, "No." And then she said, "I guess I'll go then." Just write down everything that you can remember from the conversation.

Next use something from that conversation as a writing prompt but add in a goal for each of the characters (give each character something they want from the other character—it can be physical like a ball or emotional like love, respect, attention).

Conflict and tension arise out of a character acting against their wants, needs, or desires while maintaining the relationship with the other character. If one person wants to talk and the other doesn't, how do each communicate their needs while maintaining the relationship? In a story about relationships (family, love, friendship) it's the relationship that is often at stake. In addition, if the goals are contrasting between the character (meaning each character has their own agenda in the scene) then conflict will be present in the story.

The story you write for this exercise doesn't have to be about the conversation or about the person you were initially talking to. Imagine if my phone dialogue with my mother was between two people who had just had a fight or between a couple breaking up or between two siblings who hadn't seen each other for a long time. What if one characters wanted to talk for longer and the other character didn't? How would you rewrite the scene to convey that extra layer of tension?

Did you try this prompt? Share your dialogue or your experience of responding to this prompt in the comments.

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For Inspiration

”Pre-simulation Consultation XF007867” by Kim Fu

“You Should Go Over There” by Meredith Hambrock

Get Out (Screenplay) by Jordan Peele

The Vermont Plays by Annie Baker

Any play by Suzan Lori-Parks

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Gatherings - December 2024

Dear SMLTA Readers,

In the final SMLTA Gatherings of 2024, Kirby reflects on the year in three parts, and I share a couple of things: my favourite reads in 2024, my new podcast of my old out-of-print book, some excellent newsletters, podcasts, and my absolute favourite poem by W.S. Merwin, “The Last One,” which is still relevant—eerily relevant.

Send My Love to Anyone is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my this project, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

After deleting Twitter and losing interest in TikTok, I’ve considerably reduced my social media time on other platforms as well and have been keeping my focus on SMLTA and engaging in community here.

I started getting some conversations going in November, and I’m hoping that SMLTA becomes a place where we will chat about what we’re writing and reading, our struggles, frustrations, tips, and good news alongside our concerns about the fragile state of the world. For me writing is never separate from the world but deeply intertwined.

I’m also working on a novel so reducing social media and apps will be a good thing. I started SMLTA when I was experiencing writer’s block while trying to finish Anecdotes. Writing about the writing process and publishing other writers pulled me out of my rut, and I’m so thankful for the SMLTA readers and their support of this project and all the contributors who have shared their work. A special thank you to paying subscribers whose support enables me to pay honorariums for original unpublished writing on the site.

January 1, 2025 will be the fourth anniversary of Send My Love to Anyone!!! If you visit the site, you may have noticed that I have been changing it up a bit by adding more sections to showcase past contributors organized according to genre. It’s been fun looking back at some of the work published on SMLTA over the past four years like Lisa Robertson Twitter essay “On Education” and Farzana Doctor’s “Writing in the Pandemic.”

Beyond continuing to do what I’m already doing, I’m not into resolutions. I never follow through, and they mostly make me feel terrible when I inevitably fail. So no resolutions for me. My way of making progress is to procrastinate on one thing by focusing on another, which has worked for me for my entire writing life, so I’m sticking with it.

As for 2025, I have an interview coming out in ’s newsletter Women Writing, I’ll be a guest speaker in ’s writing course where I’ll be chatting about newsletters and later in the year for a bookclub she’s organizing. I’m also headed to AWP this year where I’ll be participating on two panels (more to come on that). If you’re going to AWP, I hope to see you there!

I’m also fundraising for Yousef, 29, in Gaza. A dear friend of mine is a very close friend of Yousef’s. She is trying to help him get to Ottawa where he has secured a spot in a graduate program in health administration. I have donated twice and have included this campaign in my book giveaway. Please consider sharing or donating if you are able.

I wish you a happy new year, and hope you enjoy the last Gatherings of 2024.

Kathryn

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Recent SMLTA Conversations!Join the conversation!

How’s your writing life?

Also if you have a book or something else coming out this year share in the comments! I’d love to know what SMLTA readers are up to!

What are you writing and reading these days?

Share in the SMLTA chat:

’S year in review Episode 2 of Onion Man 2.0

How’s turning my out-of-print-book into a podcast going?

Pretty well because I’m not worried about how it’s going, I’m just having fun doing it, which I think is the best reason to be doing something. The first episode got more downloads than the book ever sold, so that’s interesting.

Doing this podcast is not only having me reflect on the writing process of this book, but also I’m reflecting on my time working at the factory. I checked in with a London Facebook group about the location of the factory because I could not remember, and I got so many responses from people who used to work there who shared their memories. That was very cool. When Dave and I were in London last, we drove along the road where the FB group told me the factory was located. I’m still not exactly sure which building it was or if the building is even standing, but I think it’s where the recycling plant is or close by it.

The Neurology Lounge Podcast with Ibrahim Imam: Spinal Cord Injury with Susan Mockler

My sister Susan Mockler wrote a memoir called Fractured which was published by Second Story Press in 2022.

Recently she was featured on The Neurology Lounge Podcast (UK) with Ibrahim Imam.

Fractured is a compelling illumination of the challenges of acquired disability and the ways in which people with disabilities are sidelined and infantilised. Mockler, a psychotherapist, speaks with frank honesty about her family and friends’ reactions to her injury, and the hard-won lessons that she and those around her learned from her experience. —Second Story Press

You can read an excerpt from Fractured in Issue 18 of SMLTA.

is running a writing course in the new year, and I’m thrilled to be one of the guest speakers where I’ll be chatting about newsletters.Zine of a WriterHow To Be A WriterI don’t care what those people who decide to become writers in their retirement say, being a writer is hard work! Like, it’s an actual job. A, for the most part, unpaid job. How do people do it? How do they work enough to pay the rent and eat and have enough time and energy to write? How do they find the will to keep going when faced with rejection and …Read more14 days ago · 1 like · Susan Sanford BladesThe Ongoing Fight for Freedom, Peace, and Justice in Sudan from Hammer & Hope

How organizing among refugees, workers, and resistance committees furthers the work of the December Revolution.This is the second installment of a two-part series of interviews with people organizing in Sudan conducted in May 2024. Read the introduction and the first interview here.

If you would like to help grassroots civil society and mutual aid groups at the frontlines of relief efforts in the parts of Sudan most impacted by state violence, donate to the Sudan Solidarity Collective.

— Rabab Elnaiem, Nisrin Elamin, and Sara Abbas

My all time favourite poem: “The Last One” by W.S. MerwinText within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedWell they’d made up their minds to be everywhere because why not.Everywhere was theirs because they thought so.They with two leaves they whom the birds despise.In the middle of stones they made up their minds.They started to cut.Well they cut everything because why not.Everything was theirs because they thought so.It fell into its shadows and they took both away.Some to have some for burning.Well cutting everything they came to water.They came to the end of the day there was one left standing.They would cut it tomorrow they went away.The night gathered in the last branches.The shadow of the night gathered in the shadow on the water.The night and the shadow put on the same head.And it said Now.Read "The Last One"mars ibarreche: Thinking—and speaking—with collage in The Yale Review

Taking inspiration from the urban settings that have shaped them, from the nation’s Southeast to the West Coast, ibarreche creates a striking form of layered collage reminiscent of papercut book art while also evoking their forebears: Fall In possesses the physicality and verbal-made-visual quality of Kurt Schwitters; Cry You has all the declarative impact of a Barbara Kruger billboard but on a more human scale. Above all, the tactility of these works, with their words nearly lifting off the page toward the viewer, speaks to the hand and mind of their creator.

Read Thinking—and speaking—with collage

On Being SeenGood Chat with Yassmin Abdel-MagiedOn Being SeenMost of the time, I’m fine…Read more20 days ago · 45 likes · 13 comments · Yassmin Abdel-Magied Noor Naga and Elamin S. Abdelmahmoud talk about the Giller boycott led by CanLit Responds. (Starts at the 12 minute mark.)Sheridan is tragically closing it’s Creative Writing and Publishing Program. Write a letter to the admins and sign this petition!savesheridancwp A post shared by @savesheridancwpHow Canada's Authors of Conscience Revolted Against the Giller Prize's Support for Genocide in Gaza by Layth Malhis, Institute for Palestine Studies

The Boycott Giller campaign message is emblematic of the clarity and urgency of what many authors across Canada have been calling for over the past year. Rooted in a shared commitment to justice, the campaign seeks to build “an arts community that isn't bound to corporate blood money” by demanding an unequivocal stand “against Israel's genocide in Palestine.”

What Happened Next: Casey PlettRachel Gilmore goodness:Bubble Pop with Rachel Gilmore Jordan Peterson is leaving CanadaJordan Peterson has had it with the woke moralists in Canada… Listen now9 days ago · 106 likes · 4 comments · Rachel GilmoreBubble Pop with Rachel Gilmore Behind the scenes: testifying about disinformation before parliamentHave you ever wondered how people end up sitting in those badly-lit rooms telling politicians how the world works… Listen now16 days ago · 23 likes · 2 comments · Rachel GilmoreThe Fold recommends Congolese and Sudanese authorsthe_fold A post shared by @the_fold recommends A Fidai Film, Media City Film Festival“River” by Joni MitchellThe Weird Surprise of Growing Old by Catherine Hiller in from Oldster Magazine Oldster MagazineThe Weird Surprise of Growing OldIf there’s anything that should not surprise us, it’s growing old. Everyone we have ever known has always been growing older. We have known this since we were small, and at first we loved the idea. Toddlers are excited to turn 3. Adolescents are thrilled to turn 16 or 18. Adults celebrate turning 30 and 40, although we’re often less happy with 50 and 60…Read more11 days ago · 340 likes · 151 comments · Catherine HillerFascinating story from On the MediaThe Morning After Pill ella® is NOT an Abortifacient from The VagendaThe VajendaThe Morning After Pill ella® is NOT an Abortifacient Ulipristal acetate or UPA (trade name ella® or ellaOne®, with a lowercase e) is the “other” morning-after pill or emergency contraceptive, a.k.a post-coital contraceptive. Plan B, or levonorgestrel, is the one most commonly discussed in our lexicon as it was available first, tends to be easier to access, and, let’s be honest, “Plan …Read morea month ago · 66 likes · 2 comments · Dr. Jen Gunter by :Indigenous Archival Photo Project People of the WatershedNow on at the McMichael Canadian Art Collection in Kleinburg, Ontario until Novemeber 17, People of the Watershed is the first exhibition of the photography of John Macfie, a Canadian of Scottish heritage, who was a trapline manager in northern Ontario in the 1950s and 60s. He travelled the expanse of the Hudson Bay Watershed, from Sandy Lake to Moose …Read more4 months ago · 8 likes · Paul SeesequasisRead I Published a Novel and No One Cares! from Ask Polly'I Published a Novel and No One Cares!'Door 84 (1984) by Dorothea Tanning…Read more10 days ago · 236 likes · 38 comments · Heather Havrilesky interviews Chelene KnightArchipel | Cara Waterfall#2: An Interview with Chelene KnightWelcome to Archipel, an ongoing dialogue between me (Cara Waterfall) and other poets and creatives of all kinds, celebrating the ways we connect through mentorship, community and transitions…Read more4 months ago · 1 like · Cara WaterfallFrom the SMLTA ArchiveSupport Send My Love to Anyone

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Some of my favourite reads in 2024

Short Fiction

Last Woman (2024) by Carleigh Baker

Your Body Was Made for This (2024) by Debbie Bateman

Death by a Thousand Cuts (2024) by Shashi Bhat

Widow Fantasies (2024) by Hollay Ghadery

Code Noir (2024) by Canisia Lubrin

Her First Palestinian (2022) by Saeed Teebi

Novels

Only Sisters (2022) by Lilian Nattel

Minor Detail (2016) by Adania Shibli

Rich and Poor (2016) by Jacob Wren (re-read)

Nonfiction

This Heated Place (2004) by Deborah Campbell

Monsters: A Fan's Dilemma (2023) by Claire Dederer

52 Weeks to a Sweeter Life for Caregivers, Activists and Helping Professionals: A Workbook of Emotional Hacks, Self-Care Experiments and Other Good Ideas (2024) by Farzana Doctor

Recognizing the Stranger: On Palestine and Narrative (2024) by Isabella Hammad

The Hundred Years' War on Palestine: A History of Settler-Colonial Conquest and Resistance, 1917-2017 (2020) by Rashid Khalidi

Poetry

Forest of Noise (2024) by Mosab Abu Toha

Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear (2023) by Mosab Abu Toha

The All + Flesh (2023) by Brandi Bird

Wake World (2024) by Wakefield Brewster

impact statement (2024) by Jody Chan

The King of Terrors (2024) by Jim Johnston

Alight (2024) by Fady Juda

she (2024) by Kirby

Oh Witness Day! (2024) by Shani Mootoo

The Knot of My Tongue (2024) by Zehra Naqvi

Sonnet from a Cell (2023) by Bradley Peters

The Work (2024) by Bren Simmers

Precedented Parroting (2024) by Barbara Tran

Scientific Marvel (2024) by Chimwemwe Undi

shima (2024) by shō yamagushiku

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Darlings, we only live in moments now (Part 3)

Storefront of Coles & Keys, Stratford ON“What a beautiful day to respect someone’s pronouns.”

I’m not even a stickler when it comes to pronouns (she/they) and to happen upon this lovely li’l shop window on York St in Stratford, and “the welcome.” One of “the Nicks” (shop owners, Nicole & Nikki) came out to greet my friend Elizabeth and me, I was so taken with everything about this space, they have such an eye for what fills/frames the eye and I was quite moved by their storefront, the quote… how incredibly brave. Times like these I wish I had buckets and buckets of moo-lah to make it rain on these two, their dream. They even gifted us their custom lens cleaner and wipes. Thank you thank you thank you. Independents fucking rule.

Speaking of which. Paul McKay, bookseller at King’s Co-op Bookstore. Halifax.

Books. Paul McKay. (Thank you.)

I fell out of love with Toronto since knife | fork | book closed. The pandemic wiped out a significant number of go-to places, many more expensed out of existence since then. I marvel who can afford such things? and by that I mean “bricks & mortar” retail. Artist space. Small Press. Living. I differentiated loss from failure. My choice to be alone v. what still felt like isolation. How much I’ve aged in such a sort window, that my life requires loving assistance, someone at my side now & again. Taking my hand. Finding out Aleve works. That I didn’t need to be harsh with myself to boot (gentler, Kirby. Tender. The feather duster, not the machete. Push only when called upon and even then… you’re new to this). Jim, Don, Dale, Ralph, Jessica, The Mockler, those close remind me. Thank you. Touchstones all.

The Don Pyle.

And, I’m blessed with young queers reading me, seeking, sussing me out. My first intergenerational relationships. Artists who want to know, “Can I do this?” to “What was it like?” to “How then shall we live?” And, most importantly, showing me how it’s done. NOW. Their own remarkable fierce invention. Queer fresh! So far, this continues to be one of the primary colours to “What keeps me here.” I simply marvel.

A splendiferous afternoon sorting through copious amounts of vintage gay porn with fellow aficionado Daniel.

Stevie Manning performs at Three Dollar Bill, Parkdale

Speaking of which. Stevie Manning is a star.

“Glory Bee” she’s found her queers! Like the PSB song “Where have they gone?” darlings, they’re alive and well and fucking in Parkdale at Three Dollar Bill, an Erotic Reading Series hosted by Bee Traverse and Faith, this particular night featuring the Fan Wu, the Angie Quick and Stevie Fucking Manning with a slew of open-mic-ers reading from the queer classics (not their own) I find myself seated at the bar with none other than the Barbara Tran (“you should’ve won girl”) and this absolutely adorable waif of a child (Neo) approaches, “Kirby o my gosh I’m so nervous I had no idea you were going to be here I’m reading you tonight is that okay?” “I’m here for it babe, make it yours” (they do) and Stevie comes on and owns the room performing a Nicole Kidman monologue from Eyes Wide Shut, not lip-synching, giving it, giving it all and for the first time ever I simply couldn’t be happier to be here.

Darlings, we only live in moments now (Part 2)

One moment, you’re breathing… the next, I barely make it up these steps.

This is a photo of me deciding finally to take myself to the Walk-in Clinic at the Blaws next door. Coaxed by friend Don Pyle and upcoming dates scheduled for the East Coast, so fortunate to listen and drop being my stubborn Taurus this once.

My reward. The sexiest fucking doctor in scrubs (my favourite lingerie, five o’clock shadow framing cheekbones) I thought he must be the physiotherapist in those fresh sneakers already planning a return trip. He strolls in, (lord if this is the last thing I see, the last man who touches me, I’m good).

It’s moments that also bring us back to life, keeps us here.

Another day, I would’ve been hospitalized.

The moment? Finding out my Senior benefits have kicked-in covering most of my prescriptions (the reason I was reticent to go to begin with. Girl.)

Timing can also be momentous.

Her thinking: “I just have to get into a cab, and sit. The airport, sit. Board the plane, sit. Arrive, sit.” Simple.

To be met with such kindness and loving care each and every step of the way. Jessica & Cory. Philip & Kirk. Sue & Pete. Jim, Robert, Al Moritz singing at The Snooty Fox, everyone at Poetry Weekend, Harbourville (the reading of a lifetime), Halifax with Sue & Paul, Annick, Nolan and a host of listeners at the Trident. And Crystal at Mr. Fish in Shelburne, NS. I had joked saying if I were homeless and/or drunk I’d plop my ass on that quaint little lane seaside. “It gets kinda cold down there in the winter,” Crystal warns. “O doll, we’ll find ways to keep warm!” (“You make certain you bring Kirby back here!”)

Pet Shop Boys “nonetheless” “Everybody needs time to think. Nobody can live without love.” - Neil Tennant “Hmmmm. Love this.”

Finding out Barrie ON is a haven for artists (as is St Catherines, London). “Haven” might not be the right word… it’s not easy, but you can make it happen here. And they are. Slaying. Right Downtown.

Fertile Festival felt like going on a Sunday Picnic, we all made our way to Dundas ON, such good spirits and good will, all centred around/between poets listening/reading poetry and the significance of place. “Home base.” This couldn’t have happened in soul-sucking, nobody gives a fuck (except to bitch about how fucked-up) Toronto, instead we wanted to meet and celebrate what continues to be the hearth of poetry in Southern Ontario (and beyond), The Printed Word Bookshop and its brilliant bookseller James McDonald. A fine day. For the books.

The joy that is Hoa Nguyen in my life.

*“Why Am I Alive Now?” by ANOHNI and the Johnsons from the album My Back Was A Bridge For You To Cross Support Send My Love to Anyone

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Darlings, we only live in moments now (Part 1)

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” - Oscar Wilde

Approaching midnight, 21 April 2001, minutes before my birthday, Don Pyle hands me a sealed CD. “Put this on.” Piano chords strike, reverberate beneath this singular voice,

Should I call a doctor before I fear you might be dead?
But I just lay down beside you and held your hand

then, the most dramatic pause in pop music EV-VAH…

Antony & the Johnsons “I Fell in Love with a Dead Boy” UK Maxi-Single 2001

no, wait. Time has stopped. Longer. Still. Then, the angelic voice returns

I fell in love with you
Now you're my one, only you
'Cause all my life I've been so blue
But in that moment you fulfilled me

Shivers.

Like a like chanteuse, Marc Almond (of Soft Cell fame) “there is never forever, only the moment.”

Darlings, we only live in moments now. What reaches. What touches. What moves. What remains.

Bites. Niblets. A poem. A song. A night. Moments, all.

I’ve witnessed the glory that is Anohni in numerous settings. The Drake Underground pounding an upright piano showing fuzzy butt-crack all-night, Trinty-St. Paul waiting all-day to sit in the front pew, to a gown that spread across the entirety of Radio City Music Hall (then dropped to reveal a 60 piece orchestra), walking 5th Avenue behind this adorable young ‘blonde’ waif traipsing in heels, a duvet as her wrap, stopping in McDonalds for a milkshake en route (we knew where she was headed) to this remarkable lounge act “It’s Time to Feel What’s Really Happening Tour 2024” at Massey Hall.

The moment? There were several. To see her dance in her hard won body to “It Must Change.” And tribute to the great Jimmy Scott singing “Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child.” To witness an artist in their powers. Again, I am forever changed.

Valentine’s Day. Sandwiched between my dates Finner & Stevie to see a rare screening of Derek Jarman’s Blue at Peter Knight’s brilliantly curated Queer Cinema Club, one of the very few reasons to still go out at all to the cinema. Paradise.

The Keith Haring show, Art Is For Everbody, at the AGO. Brazenly sexual. I went several times, each visit (w/Hoa Nguyen, Jessica Hiemstra, alone wishing I had brought a fresh bottle of poppers) new discoveries and a deeper appreciation of Haring’s all-encompassing response to the times. A fellow phallic worshipper, gloryhole enthusiast, pop iconographer with a marker, making it plain for all to see themselves. I re-imagine seeing this as a gay child. Made whole. That, and the yummy new Brad Gooch bio (a must).

Yes, I saw Madonna at Scotiabank Arena. I wasn’t planning on it (I'd seen her several times, most notably her True Blue Tour at the Ex, with fireworks shooting off Lake Ontario during “Live to Tell”) the expense, but I kept seeing clips of this massive AIDS memorial, so moving, and we’re the same age (Madonna, Morrissey & me) so I thought, if she could make it, I’d do my best to meet her there. The young latin queens dancing and singing every song off-key behind me made it all worthwhile.

My new collection (and a single, released New Year’s Day) came out this year (pub date on my 65th) an online birthday launch with the astonishing Travis Sharp before a live audience in my living room. I love reading in intimate settings of a dozen or so. My friend Jonathan Garfinkel was visiting from Berlin in Montreal, so I found a hotel room with a terrace and invited loved ones for a soiree, then stopped in Kingston on return to read in Sadiqa de Meijer’s home on “Writer’s Block,” mostly to students, a pivotal night in my reading of “She.” Then, there were the East Coast readings that saved my life, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Moments. We live in. One after another, our constellation.

Reading in London ON, suddenly lit by the Northern Lights outside The Variety Cafe. (Bucket list, check.)

It’s love. Meeting Sydney Hegele at a reading at Queen Books. That poster of Bear behind us. Priceless.

The Mockler and I read together for the very first time at Another Story. (Another Story. What a gem.)

The volume of his hair at a Coach House launch.

Sitting with this one at Poetry Weekend, Fredericton

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Why am I alive now?

Approaching midnight, 21 April 2001, minutes before my birthday, Don Pyle hands me a sealed CD. “Put this on.” Lush strings (reminding me of Rachel’s) and then this singular voice,

Should I call a doctor before I fear you might be dead?
But I just lay down beside you and held your hand

and then, the most dramatic pause in pop music EV-VAH…

Antony & the Johnsons “I Fell in Love with a Dead Boy” UK Maxi-Single 2001

no, wait. Time has stopped. Longer. Still. Then, the angelic voice returns

I fell in love with you
Now you're my one, only you
'Cause all my life I've been so blue
But in that moment you fulfilled me

Like a like chanteuse, Marc Almond (of Soft Cell fame) “there is never forever, only the moment.”

Darlings, we only live in moments now. What reaches. What touches. What moves. What remains.

Bites. Niblets. A poem. A song. A night. Moments, all.

I’ve witnessed the glory that is Anohni in numerous settings. The Drake Underground pounding an upright piano showing fuzzy butt-crack all-night, Trinty-St. Paul waiting all-day to sit in the front pew, to a gown that spread across the entirety of Radio City Music Hall (then dropped to reveal a 60 piece orchestra), walking 5th Avenue behind this adorable young ‘blonde’ waif traipsing in heels, a duvet as her wrap, stopping in McDonalds for a milkshake en route (we knew where she was headed) to this remarkable lounge act “It’s Time to Feel What’s Really Happening Tour 2024” at Massey Hall.

The moment? There were several. To see her dance in her hard won body to “It Must Change.” And tribute to the great Jimmy Scott singing “Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child.” To witness an artist in their powers. Again, I am forever changed.

The Keith Haring show, Art Is For Everbody, at the AGO. Brazenly sexual. I went several times, each visit (w/Hoa Nguyen, Jessica Hiemstra, alone wishing I had brought a fresh bottle of poppers) new discoveries and a deeper appreciation of Haring’s all-encompassing response to the times. A fellow phallic worshipper, gloryhole enthusiast, pop iconographer with a marker, making it plain for all to see themselves. I re-imagine seeing this as a gay child. Made whole. That, and the yummy new Brad Gooch bio (a must).

Yes, I saw Madonna at Scotiabank Arena. I wasn’t planning on it (I'd seen her several times, most notably her True Blue Tour at the Ex, with fireworks shooting off Lake Ontario during “Live to Tell”) the expense, but I kept seeing clips of this massive AIDS memorial, so moving, and we’re the same age (Madonna, Morrissey & me) so I thought, if she could make it, I’d do my best to meet her there. The young latin queens dancing and singing every song off-key behind me made it all worthwhile.

My new collection (and a single, released New Year’s Day) came out this year (pub date on my 65th) an online birthday launch with the astonishing Travis Sharp before a live audience in my living room. I love reading in intimate settings of a dozen or so. My friend Jonathan Garfinkel was visiting from Berlin in Montreal, so I found a hotel room with a terrace and invited loved ones for a soiree, then stopped in Kingston on return to read in Sadiqa de Meijer’s home on “Writer’s Block,” mostly to students, a pivotal night in my reading of “She.” Then, there were the East Coast readings that saved my life, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Moments. We live in. One after another, our constellation.

Reading in London ON, suddenly lit by the Northern Lights outside The Varsity Cafe. (Bucket list, check.)

It’s love. Meeting Sydney Hegele at a reading at Queen Books. That poster of Bear behind us. Priceless.

The Mockler and I read together for the very first time at Another Story. (Another Story. What a gem.)

The volume of his hair at a Coach House launch.

Sitting with this one at Poetry Weekend, Fredericton

Part Two follows. Kb

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I’m trying a new thing where I will write for 10-minutes a day at least 5 days a week.

10-Minute Writing Sprint

Word count goals do not work for me at all.

I’ve tried and failed with them. There’s just something about word count goals that make me resistant.

So I’m trying a new thing where I will write for 10-minutes a day at least 5 days a week.

When I’m working with creative writing students, we do 10-minute writing sprints, and they come out of those writing sessions with the most amazing stories. I do it along with them, and I get great stuff too.

So I’m going to be more dedicated to the 10-minute writing sprint to see if it can help me be more consistent.

I just made this rough little video on Canva to get some structure for the writing sprint. If you find it annoying, just set your own timer.

It can be more than 10-minutes of course, but I tend to do better when I have goals that are low and realistic. I’ve also included music because music helps me concentrate, but you can mute the video if it bothers you.

Hope you enjoy!

Share with the SMLTA writers how your writing sprint went today?

Leave a comment

For Inspiration: Where Do I Start Writing PromptsSupport Send My Love to Anyone

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Bluesky | Instagram | Archive | Contributors | Subscribe | About SMLTA