Suzy Davies's Blog: Book News - Posts Tagged "biography"

I have decided to read my own novel as a reader, to see what comes to light when distance and a certain objectivity come into play!
I am interested to know whether my critical eye still picks up on the things I didn't like about my book, when I briefly re-read it last year.
My vague suspicion is that I will find other things to scrutinize, other things to feel annoyed about.
First novels, in my view, are a kind of apprenticeship. That is what makes them so interesting, and why we can learn from reading them.
There are still things I am pleased with, and some things that surprise me about my own writing, and, not wishing to sound immodest - delight me.
My favorite chapter beyond any doubt is - "Journey Beneath The Stars" - I had a feeling of overwhelming liberation to be myself when I wrote this chapter. It was literally smooth sailing - from this chapter on.
Now, I know this sounds like the product of an over-active imagination, but it really was as if an invisible hand was taking over my writing - it just flowed! From my study of Psychology, I wish to state that I believe I tapped into my subconscious in that chapter, and it was as if all my twilight meanderings, all the dreams, desperate longings, shadowy imaginings I had harbored, revealed themselves to me in an epiphany. My writing was freed; and I became water.

I am honored to have my "Winter/Christmas" poems featured in the December Edition of this newsletter. Thanks go to Storm Grayson for publishing my poems!

"Snugs The Snow Bear" says a big "Hello" to The Aber Ego, and thank you from me, for introducing Snugs to the lovely folk in Aberystwyth, my early childhood home! Aber will always have a special place in my heart!

Today, it is snowing in New York! Pictures are all over social media, snapped on camera phones; the excitement is tangible.

So what is it about snow, that moves us into a frenetic state? Why does snow move the emotions? I can hear the pragmatists say because it makes the daily commute difficult, and to clear train lines, roads, and paths is a grind. Some might even say they hate snow, for the inconvenience it creates, and for the misery of being outdoors in the cold.

But then, think about when you first saw snow? How old were you? Who were you with? How did it make you feel?

My earliest memory of snow is a particularly wintry one, when I was a child. Snow was car-roof high, and my late dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof of the car. We were snowed in, in Slough, where my aunt and uncle lived! Oh, the joy of it, and the adventure. In those days we played snowball, and made a snowman, but no-one had thought of snow-angels. Every day, I looked out of the window, delighted at the prospect of another day, playing outdoors during the winter vacation, in the chill of ice and snow, safe in the knowledge that the warmth of indoors and hot soup and bread and butter awaited me.

One thing disappoints me, though. I wish my memory of snow was better! I can't remember the first time I saw snow falling on the ground. Yet, I have a vicarious memory of this.

I was teaching some young students from Gujerat, who were new to England. I can remember the joy on their faces, the first time they saw snowfall, and they danced and jumped in the air with joy in the parking lot! You could hear the music of laughter!

Yes, they were young, and I wondered what their memories of snow would be when they were older.

I think that there are reasons that snow moves our emotions when we are adults. Snow symbolizes purity and innocence, play, fun, and laughter. Seeing snow transports us back to our childhood.

And even with its drawbacks, and the responsibilities of adulthood, snow brings us together, creates opportunities for sharing experiences, and for team effort.

Snow makes everywhere look magical. The blanket of snow on the ground is a great equalizer. Even ugly places are transformed. There is a freshness and cleanliness about it. And when snow first falls, you can stand quite still, in wonder; listen to the silence.

Copyright, Suzy Davies, 09/02/2017. No Copying.

When you think about it, we always remember firsts! Our first early memories, our first childhood friend, our first school uniform, our first birthday party, our first pet, our first kiss, the first time we fell in love, our first wage packet, (and what we spent the money on,) our first independent holiday without parents or caregivers, our first flat or house, our first car, the first time we won an award or competition, and so on! Life is full of "first times." How could you ever know that you would be contemplating another first - your first book!

First books "happen" in different ways to different writers. There is a common misconception that, all of a sudden, you will be inspired, as if by divine intervention, to write a book, but misconception it is, since to write a good book you will have read a lot of books by well-respected writers, or at the very least, read widely and avidly - whatever your reading material.

If you write books without having read anything, how will you know, from an honest objective viewpoint, that your writing is good enough to publish? Friends and family, after all, are a sure win captive audience, and are likely to be biased, after all. The true test of any writer is whether they attract the attention of readers, and possibly whether, in the long haul, they grow to become a writers' writer as well.

Popularity, however, is not everything! Think of the "undiscovered" writers, whose work did not gain true recognition until after their death. And think of writers whose work was so visionary, that perhaps we could argue that the merits of their work are only fully seen, and appreciated, today.

This brings me to a question of ethics. Should a writer be instrumental, and do a cold analysis of what sells? I don't have to mention what sells; we all know that sex sells, violence sells, how to make a quick million sells, even death sells.

I believe that to succeed as a writer, you have to write from your authentic self, the self that is the same on the inside as the outside - the congruent self. Readers are not easily duped. They will know whether you believe in your book or not, and whether it comes from the heart.

So, you think you have a book inside you. If you trace back through your memories, you are likely to discover that the seed of an idea about being a writer has been germinating for some time. In my case, the story of becoming a storyteller goes something like this.

1) A schoolgirl always chooses a window-seat in class. Why? She finds what is going on outside the classroom more interesting than what is going on inside. She likes to observe what is going on out there in the world.

2) This schoolgirl is sometimes described thus in school reports: "....has a tendency to daydream."

3) The schoolgirl is at her happiest with the wind in her hair and sand between her toes. She misses the sights, sounds, and smells of her father's homeland - the cows coming down the lanes at the end of the day, the music of waterfalls, the silly, skittish lambs jumping for joy on the hills, Welsh women polishing the brass steps of their cottages, fishermen hauling in the day's catch at the docks. She misses Wales, the land of her father. She misses being an outsider, an observer, and a dreamer: "The English Girl."

4) The schoolgirl meets a mentor, someone who believes in her, who tells her she can write. Suddenly, this girl finds a reason to do English homework, and it is the one subject she can do. She has a poem published in a school magazine. Being a writer seems surreal; she sees her name in print, and it feels like watching a film.

5) The young woman does a string of dead-end jobs, and progresses to more interesting ones but is still not fulfilled. Eventually, luck, motivation, and opportunity coincide, and she realises her ambition to go to university.

6) A mature young woman enters university. She feels like an ant climbing a mountain, she is so intimidated at the prospect of the "great minds" she will encounter there. She reads and reads and reads. She stumbles across a book by a famous writer that impresses her. She reads another, and another, by the same author. The third book is not so great. She has a secret thought, that gathers strength the more she writes: "I can write as well as that writer!" She has some small successes with writing poems - and a publisher puts them in an anthology, with ninety-nine other poets' work. When she receives a royalties cheque for just over a pound, she is so poor, she banks it!

7) This young woman, with a tendency to procrastinate, has become a legend, who can turn out term papers, written last minute, overnight, and get respectable marks. She likes to delay up to the hand-in deadline of tomorrow. Sometimes, she misses the deadline, but most times she doesn't because she has spent weeks "writing it all in her head."

8) The young woman is not young anymore. She is now a teacher. She teaches the four English skills: Reading, Writing, Speaking and Listening. There is nothing like teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages and Literacy as a way to know your language inside out and back to front.

9) The woman is middle-aged now. She vows she will write a book before her time runs out. She has lived enough to have material to draw on, she has survived, and imagined enough to put her dreams into words. Her first book, a Romance Novel, "Johari's Window," is her apprenticeship.

10) How to write your first book? Write your apprenticeship book first. Let it pour out! Put your heart into it! The second book may well be the one with which you are most satisfied, until you write your third.

This is the day when people around the world celebrate being happy. But what is happiness? Does it just exist out there to be taken, or do we have to learn how to create our own happiness? And if the latter is true, then how do we become happier and healthier in our lives?

My idea is a personal one, and comes from my own personal experience of creating joy from writing.

My first book, "Johari's Window," is a romance novel with a dark side. I wrote it when I was "getting over" some difficult experiences in my life, and I was also aware that I was venturing toward the light, and better times ahead.

As I wrote the first chapter of "Johari's Window," I revisited one of the happiest times of my life, my early childhood in Wales, when I was surrounded by nature, and close to the ocean. I also "experienced again" my relationship with my late paternal grandmother, a wonderful, spiritual woman, and a bird-whisperer, who has been a constant enduring influence on me and my life.

The difficult part of "Johari's Window" was when I wrote through the pain I had experienced in my life, and, in a sense, in the process of writing, I had to relive these times, when, to be honest, life sometimes was a trial, and I did not know how I would see another day. These were times when I was emotionally withdrawn, and socially isolated, and to get through to another day was my only ambition. I was operating in survival mode, but survive to tell the tale, I did.

Once I had written out the darkest of chapters, I felt a sense of relief, and of being heard for the first time. I looked at my situation again with an objective eye, and I even felt proud of myself for hanging on through the bad times, and making the best of it. I felt empathy for myself, and began to cultivate a deeper knowledge of who I was and what I needed to be happy. I even forgave myself for the mistakes I had made.

Towards the end of "Johari's Window" the mood is more wistful than melancholy, and I am in South Korea, in this dream-like landscape with Cherry Blossoms.

For me, these flowers capture the transient nature of happiness, and, at the same time, reassure us that happiness will come around again.

But a constant thread in my life is the joy of writing. When I write, my ink is the happiness that flows in my veins.

Just to let you know, I am scheduled to appear on television on 13th December 2017. Watch this space for more details.