Adam Chromý's Blog, page 7

Please fire me. Our boss called a meeting just to threaten to take away our “microwave privileges”...

Please fire me. Our boss called a meeting just to threaten to take away our “microwave privileges” because we were taking too long to heat up our Hot Pockets.

Please fire me. Today I rescued an infant from drowning in the pool I lifeguard at. The mother of...

Please fire me. Today I rescued an infant from drowning in the pool I lifeguard at. The mother of the child proceeded to scold me for touching her child. All I could say was “Ma'am your baby was upside down and underwater.”

Please fire me. Today I had to explain to one of my preschool student’s mother that yes indeed the...

Please fire me. Today I had to explain to one of my preschool student’s mother that yes indeed the recent birth of this child’s twin siblings might ‘possibly’ be the thing behind her daughter’s very frequent uncontrollable emotional outbursts. Honestly woman!

Please fire me. I work retail in a chain super store and one day i was assigned to work in shoes...

Please fire me. I work retail in a chain super store and one day i was assigned to work in shoes when i am usually in the men’s department. I had two people come in and go straight to the Nike’s and quickly complain that we don’t have what they are advertising. Due to the fact that these two were acting shifty and speaking way too fast, i knew they were on something. The guy then made me look at the Nike’s and complained that none of what was in the catalog was out. He showed me the ad and then the shoe. I literally had to just turn the shoe from one side to the other to show him that in fact, they were the same shoes advertised. His girlfriend later grabbed a bunch of empty boxes marked “display shoe” and gave them to me and told me they were empty and someone had probably stolen them. The reason they weren’t in the box was because they were on display, thus the sticker stating “display shoe.” The only way to get through that shift was to repeat to myself “only until i get my degree” over and over again, but then i realized the economy sucks and may very well be dealing with coked up drug addicts who can’t tell if a shoe is turned around or not for the rest of my life.

Please fire me. I’m 18, and I work at a pizza place. We’re open 24/7, and I take the night shifts. I...

Please fire me. I’m 18, and I work at a pizza place. We’re open 24/7, and I take the night shifts. I just got out of high school. While I was there, cleaning the counters a very obese woman came up to me. (I’m a female) and goes. “Hey hot stuff” I tried to ignore the smell of beer. I just smiled and said. “Hello, welcome to ******* (blocking it out because it’s an original restaurant) what can I get for you?” She replied with “I just want beer” “I’m sorry we don’t carry alcoholic beverages.” She goes. “But I need it.” 

Another night, I was working late and a heavily pregnant woman comes in and lays down on the table, not quite sure what to say, so I just continue making a pepperoni for take out. She pulls down her pants and starts fingering herself. I run over to her and say, “stop please this is a family restaurant” she grunts and pulls her pants up. The next thing I know she is rubbing her belly and panting. I end up calling 911 and she gave birth at the hospital. Sending us a picture of the baby with a letter explaining how wasted she was that night… Like why was she drinking at 9 months pregnant?

Please fire me. I work at an ice cream parlor, that doesn’t close…ever. I work third shift and most...

Please fire me. I work at an ice cream parlor, that doesn’t close…ever. I work third shift and most of the time I’m restocking and cleaning up after the shifts who don’t want to do it themselves because they are usually on their smartphones when not taking customers. However, most shift highlights include when the potheads come in so wasted their eyes are blood red and I can smell the drugs when they exhale; the welfare mothers who drag their wide awake toddlers in at 2 am for ice cream every other night; the indecisive person during a 30+ rush; ringing up a $4 order and having to break a $100 because “it’s all I have”; the drunken after party from the bar down the street; being accused by a staggering drunk of accusing him of theft when I tell him the total for his “every syrup topping you have” shake and they demand I strip search them to prove it as they start pulling their shirt off; being asked by four potheads to make the largest shake we have with that one ice cream that needs a jackhammer to scoop “oh and as thick as possible”; get lectured for not having moose tracks flavor at a completely different branded company; get yelled at for not having sugar free ice cream by the person so heavy they gasp for air and waddle when they walk; get yelled at for offering to make your strawberry shake with chocolate milk; get asked which flavor is my favorite; endure getting railed at for not having soft serve at 3 am when we have to clean the machine and switch flavors each night; get criticized for not knowing how to make a shake just like they had at a little mom and pops ice cream stand in LA; being asked for a free cigarette when I’ve never smoked in my life; have to make 14 of our largest shakes at 4 am because your kids are driving you crazy and are demanding ice cream; get asked what sales we have when there is a sales sign explaining everything three inches from their faces; be called a midget bitch because I’m not allowed to give sale prices for items that aren’t on sale anymore; etc, etc, etc. The number one thing I enjoy the most however, is getting asked all hours of the night if we stop selling ice cream/shakes when they walk past a couple leaving with sundaes and shakes in hand. If the lights are on, doors are unlocked, employees are available and the cabinets are full, what do you think? More often than I like to admit I hear “Is it too late to get ice cream?” “Have you stopped for the night?”, “Are you still selling this late?” in my sleep.

Also, if I ask for you to repeat your order, it’s because I can’t read your mind and you need to talk louder or not mumble. The top of the display cabinets hit me at eye level and they aren’t quiet; I’m short, not a deaf simpleton.

Please fire me. One of my campers in our theater camp said she wanted less than 10 lines because...

Please fire me. One of my campers in our theater camp said she wanted less than 10 lines because she’s only 7. The part she got cast in gave her 5 lines. “THAT’S NOT ENOUGH LINES!” The tantrum lasted from 12:30 to 2:45. So the next afternoon we gave her a 2nd part with 2 more lines so now she has 7 lines. Then she had a 2nd tantrum that lasted from 1:15 until 3:15 “NOW I HAVE TOO MANY LINES!” When we offered her 6 lines by asking one of the other campers in the cast to take one of her lines, she cried and cried and cried until her dad picked her up. Her dad yelled at me for not catering to requests, even though I had no say in casting and no say in the script our director chose.

Please fire me. I work as a barista. Most every day, I have a lady come in. She always orders the...

Please fire me. I work as a barista. Most every day, I have a lady come in. She always orders the largest, most fattening drink you can imagine. Extra syrup, extra whipped cream, made with heavy whipping cream, if she can add it to her order, odds are she will. She always has claimed it was for her husband, as he has “quite a sweet tooth.” I recently learned her husband is diabetic. And therefore, is supposed to have as little sugar as possible. I am not sure what is going on, but I now kind of want to warn her husband she might have it in for him…

Please fire me. At my new office job my boss decided to take a “business trip” just one week after...

Please fire me. At my new office job my boss decided to take a “business trip” just one week after I started. He planned on “pitching in” and see how work was going via Skype while he was out of the country. One time after a few minutes of checking in, someone knocks at his hotel room, he says he now has to leave so that he can attend to more “business” with whoever just showed up. Two minutes later and a webcam still on we can hear him having sex. I’m still unsure whether he did this on purpose or not.

Please fire me. I am a personal trainer and have to be nice to lazy rich people all day.

Please fire me. I am a personal trainer and have to be nice to lazy rich people all day.