Adam Chromý's Blog, page 12

Please fire me. In communicating that we should complete a project together (vs. just one person...

Please fire me. In communicating that we should complete a project together (vs. just one person taking it on), my boss suggested that we “gang bang” it. Yes, let’s all have sex with the project. And that’s assuming the better meaning of the word…Did I mention that I am also a rape survivor?

Please fire me. I work in an office supply store and a customer wanted to know if we carried clear...

Please fire me. I work in an office supply store and a customer wanted to know if we carried clear white-out because she wanted to white-out something on yellow paper. 

Please fire me. I am the only female network engineer in my office so that time of the month tends...

Please fire me. I am the only female network engineer in my office so that time of the month tends to means me hiding tampons in my sleeves while heading to the bathroom. I use the extendable ones so they’re easier to hide. The other day I dropped it on the ground. My coworker saw it and demanded to know what it was. I was embarrassed, so I tried to laugh it off and said “Oh it’s just a lady thing.” He proceeded to tell me that was absolutely disgusting and this was an office and I didn’t need to be flaunting things like that. May I remind you, I accidentally dropped it - I wasn’t waving it around - and it was still in its wrapper. I got upset and told him it was NOT disgusting, it was a natural thing that I can’t help and turned to walk away. As I’m leaving, I hear himself say under his breath “Keep telling yourself that.”

Please fire me. I work as a cook in a hospital cafeteria, and we have to turn our backs on the...

Please fire me. I work as a cook in a hospital cafeteria, and we have to turn our backs on the customers to prepare food on the grill. One of our regular customers (while on his phone) snapped his fingers at me while I was turned around preparing another customer’s order and said, “Cheeseburger!” and walked away. After I made him our standard cheeseburger (bun, hamburger patty, and American cheese) he came back 15 minutes later and yelled at me because it wasn’t hot anymore and didn’t include “pepper jack cheese with jalapeños, tomatoes, on a toasted bun.” Because the customer is always right, I apologized for the inconvenience and remade the sandwich to his specifications. He then told me that I would “learn to please a man one day.” He is one of the most respected doctors at our facility.

Please fire me. I had a woman come in late at night and use our ATM. She claimed that the ATM didn’t...

Please fire me. I had a woman come in late at night and use our ATM. She claimed that the ATM didn’t give her her money and that she was going to London and needed it. When I told her she needed to call the company for the ATM because we just leased it, she threw a fit for about 10 minutes. The kicker? She said she took out 30 dollars, when the ATM only gives out in amounts of $20s.

Please fire me. Upper management at my company sent us a memo today that rape and murder were now...

Please fire me. Upper management at my company sent us a memo today that rape and murder were now considered workplace violence and should be avoided by employees.

Please fire me. I can’t stand it when you buy a $650 smartphone and say, “No thanks,” when I offer...

Please fire me. I can’t stand it when you buy a $650 smartphone and say, “No thanks,” when I offer you $10/month insurance. Then you drop the phone two weeks later and come in and yell at me. F-you. I told you to buy the insurance.

Please fire me. My boss is a meat lover and I’m vegan. The other day he stuck a cheeseburger in my...

Please fire me. My boss is a meat lover and I’m vegan. The other day he stuck a cheeseburger in my face and asked me if I wanted a bite.

Please fire me. I work in a commercial bakery and last week a lady placed an order for cupcakes....

Please fire me. I work in a commercial bakery and last week a lady placed an order for cupcakes. Today she came in today to pick them up. She was happy with them and everything was fine until she walked away and they got jostled in the package (one of them got an easily fixed smudge). Immediately she begins to freak out. She doesn’t want me to call my manager, but instead spends the next ten minutes frantically yelling at me.  In her words, the smudged cupcakes are a “travesty” and she doesn’t know what to do. Between almost crying and shouting she says she has to go call her husband. When she comes back she tells me how stupid the entire bakery staff is, that she’s never coming back, and it turns out that she was so upset because she couldn’t serve the “damaged” cupcakes TO THREE YEAR OLDS. 

Three year olds would be thrilled to be in the room with these cupcake I’m sure.

Please fire me. I work at a video store and yesterday a man asked me if I could see if we had a...

Please fire me. I work at a video store and yesterday a man asked me if I could see if we had a movie in, only when I asked him what movie he wanted, he replied “That one with the bugs!”

I get dumb, vague descriptions like this quite a bit so I powered on and asked him which one and he was like, “You know, that one with the mitochondria’s!”

It took ten minutes (and a lot of yelling from the customer) to find out that he meant midichlorians.

Star Wars. It was freaking Star Wars.