Sally Hanan's Blog, page 9

Blessing the Married Couples

A few years ago, my daughter was at a ministry school where she was taught all sorts of valuable things. She sent a text message one afternoon that said the following:

“They’re blessing all the married couples’ sex lives right now. Passing it on!”

My first thought was: How did she know?

My second thought was: This would be a great FaceBook status.

And so I posted it.

It’s a beautiful thing when friends come alongside you on FaceBook to share your laughter and add meaningful thoughts. One particularly knowledgable individual shared this:

In the Jewish culture, there is darn near a blessing recited for everything. I once asked a rabbi if there was a blessing recited before sex, and his reply was sex, itself, is a blessing, in that it’s a mitzvah, or commanded behavior, and obedience of God’s Word is considered a blessing in and of itself.

To which I responded:

Tip of the night: Gaze at night at your beloved’s back and whisper, “Don’t you want the blessing?”

We all laughed in a jolly fashion and went back to our usual routines . . . when I received this secret message from an unnamed friend.

“I’d like to thank you very much, Mrs Hanan. I have lost count of the number of times Hubby Darling has asked me if I would like to receive the blessing . . . since YESTERDAY, when I foolishly read him your post. :s”

:D:D

P.S. Any time I can help your marriage, just like I helped our friend’s, let me know.

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Obedience and Happiness

I’ve been thinking a lot these days about obedience and how big of a part it plays in our relationship with God.



In recent years, there has been what seems to be a downplay of the word, of the acts that imply mute submission to a supreme God when the reality of his love and grace would surely mean that he wants us to be happy and make all our own choices. He delights to see us mature and able to use our brains and go into the world to be our fully alive, fully designed selves, right?And yet…

Once you wash away the idea that all God wants is for us to be happy, seriously, drop that one right now, then you are more drawn to the truth.

The truth being that Jesus died for his ultimate reward — that of being eternally one with all men who want that. That will only happen through our singular and unified fulfillment of his will, of following the heaven-sent blueprint.

Then that concept of obedience changes.

Covenant matters.

We’ve signed a contract with God, in his own blood, that says that for the rest of our days on earth we will aim to become so “one” with him, we will “know” his heart of love so well, that we will do whatever he wants. We believed it when we said it. “Yes, I surrender all, Lord.” But then we changed the terms.

Yes, it gets hairy here. This is where all the religious chime in and set the standard of what God’s will should look and sound like. And we’ve distanced ourselves far from that crowd of voices because many times they are an embarrassment to the heart of love we believe God has.

But

I’m still responsible for my own choices. And so

My conclusion for myself is this:

Only when I am fully one with his will can I claim to be fully one with him at all.

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Expectation Is the Worst Obstacle

Of all the things that cripple people from being all they can be, expectation is the worst.

Expectation is very different to hope, because it usually sets a standard to be attained that is nigh impossible to reach–one that says that you must the brightest, the best, the shiniest at that thing you want to do.

And with that mindset, it also usually means that when you inspect your level of work, talent, and success, you tell yourself what you are doing is not good enough so you should quit.

You’re probably already sick of people talking about 2017 and how it should be, but please listen up–

It’s OKAY to just be okay at something.

The world is full of talented, shiny, bright people. You’re one of them. How many artists, actors, writers, scientists, teachers, software developers, health professionals, coffee baristas do you know of? How many would you know of if they had the mentality that they should quit because they couldn’t be the #1 star of their industry?

So this year please do the world a favor. Accept that being okay is enough, because you’re doing your thing in your own unique way and bringing your flavor of passion to the world. That’s enough. That’s a good thing, The world needs you as you are. There’s plenty of time to get better at your “thing,” plenty of time to shine more, but for right now relax, enjoy, and do your thing with joy so that this jigsaw of life can be turned into the full picture it’s designed to be with you as one of its crucial pieces.

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One Thing That Is Profoundly True

In everything you’ve gone through in the last few years, there’s one thing that is profoundly true–God is with you.

God is with you.

Whether income was non-existent, or anguish hit, or business was shrinking, or health failed, or you couldn’t do what you loved, he was with you. He’s still in you and around you and in those who share life with you. He’s still in nature and books and movies. He’s even on Facebook. And all the fears and regrets and pain may still be present, but his presence supersedes them all.

He’s with us. Breathe in. Breathe out. Selah.

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Your Words of Light

Remember [your Creator]—before the silver cord is severed, and the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, and the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecc. 12:6).

Words speak life or death, and they affect the connection of life/the silver cord. We need to bring life together, in unity. Our gifts travel through these lifelines, as do our thought and actions. We can shape the airwaves. We can enrich the threads of life.

We carry life. When we see life and truth, it touches us deeply—a chorus, a flash mob, a song, art, dance, a smile, laughter—anything that brings beauty and joy. All these things display heaven; they display the heart of God and his character.

The more of heaven’s life and character we pour into those around us, the more light and life we bring, the less darkness has a chance. You can only be a life-giver when you live in the life-giver. You complete the circuit.

Asking God to show us his glory is always good, but his glory is already here and we are the circuit completers. We are the warmth and light of heaven, bringing life to everything we touch like an umbilical cord, and when only good flows through, life grows.

When we speak death, we cut that cord of life. We exaggerate the truth to make ourselves look better, we talk about others in a negative way, we’re mean, unforgiving, bitter, cutting, loud, angry, negative, mocking, shaming. BUT, while dark words empower darkness …

Your words of light empower life.

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Jesus Makes a Way for Us

When the Bible talks about Jesus making a way for us, it’s not talking about a path similar to the one a child makes by kicking his Legos off a thin bit of carpet to his bed. Nor is it talking about clearing the weeds to form a winding path and putting down some mulch so we don’t get our feet muddy.

No, Jesus has made a way for us to live in the very heart of the Father, and when he laid down his life for us, he cleared every path, every field, every obstacle in the universe that would prevent us from running freely and fully into love itself.

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Sin – the Most Important Focus?

Sin looks a lot different when you still believe in or love the sinner. You’ll find yourself justifying or trying to understand the sin, vilifying the accusers, and highlighting the other good things about the sinner.

So is sin really the most important focus … or is it love and believing in someone’s best yet to come?

And how much of that matters when millions of people in the future might be affected by those sins because of your lack of justice and tinted glasses?

So often when we hear about sin, we match the word up to our list of what’s right and wrong. What if we matched it up to Jesus — would he do this? I think this is a better plumb line because we look at actions with more understanding into the heart behind them than holding up a cold list.

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Abandoned or Betrayed?

Do you feel abandoned or betrayed? What do you do when your so-called friends desert you?

Type A: You withdraw.

“He wants to ask my sister to be the lead singer? He really just wants to spend the rest of his life with her! Forget the lot of them. I don’t need friends, anyway. I don’t even need my sister! Me in my own little world—that’s where I’m safe. I knew I shouldn’t trust anyone, ever.”

Type B: You confront/get angry.

“You walked off at the party leaving me with a bunch of total strangers feeling like a twat! Who do you think you are? You think you’re the only one that matters in this place. I matter, too, and let me tell you how and why.”

Type C: You get vindictive/judgmental.

“How dare you leave me sitting at the restaurant with the $10 check? I’ll show you. I’ll start with my nails on your Mustang . . .”

Type D: You get depressed/cry.

“She doesn’t want to come and pop popcorn and watch Star Wars for the 15th time while dressed in aluminum foil. Poor, poor me. No one loves me. No one wants me around.”

The quandary with all of these responses is that none of them solve the real problem—the stuff that goes on in your head. The reality is that you have to already feel unsafe/vulnerable/worthless/alone/unwanted in order for others’ actions to trigger you.

Your belief system will either help, heal or worsen the thoughts. When it comes to the Creator, this is what he says:

Type A:

Shutting down cuts you off from all the love as well as all the pain. You can trust me and be complete.

Type B:

Anger will never heal the pain of believing you don’t matter. You matter to me.

Type C:

My love, in and through you, is more powerful than retaliation. I care when you feel you have no one to lean on.

Type D:

I want you to always live in me and invite me to always live in you. I love you.

 So let your sister be the lead singer and then steal all her new clothes without having to go to band practice three times a week; enjoy the new people at the party and get your flirt ON; pay the restaurant check and conveniently forget your wallet next time you are out with him; and last, but definitely not least,

Try watching Lord of the Rings while dressed in Bubble Wrap next time, my precious.

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Decisions Advice

If it’s time to make a decision and everyone around you is telling you it’s not such a great idea, but all you do if fire back all the reasons why it is, it usually means it’s a terrible idea.

If it’s time to make a decision and you know deep in your heart that it’s a bad idea but it all makes perfect sense in your head, it’s still a terrible idea.

If it’s time to make a decision that will make someone you love happy but you know it’s not a good decision, it’s probably a terrible idea.

Summary: Avoid choosing the terrible idea.

Restoration

Some of my latest musings:

We are here to serve others with our very best amalgamation of our skills, talents, experience, knowledge, Holy Spirit fruit, and personality. This means we have to leave the house from time to time and actually talk to people in person.

Imagine if husbands tagged their wives on every post that made someone else’s wife look perfect….

One of the beautiful things about the path to restoration is that resources get packed into you as a hope chest, of sorts, along the way.

The only ones who really care are those who give more than words in response to your needs.

Sometimes the day you most want to be alone is the day you most need to not be.

Make God the life of your love, not just the love of your life.

What if you didn’t trust God for the outcome but just trusted him, period?

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