Sally Hanan's Blog, page 5

Let Go of the Shame

I have a friend who did something that hurt me about ten years ago. She’s not that close of a friend anymore, and it’s not because of what she did; it’s because she can’t let it go. Every time she sees me, she brings up “the thing,” as if her focus on it will somehow prove how bad she feels about it.

I wonder if that’s all she’s going to keep bringing to the friendship–something that gives no life.

It’s like bringing gone-off steak to a meal and saying Hey, I know we’re about to sit down to an amazing dinner, but let me put this in front of you instead because this is what we ate one time and I want you to remember how bad it tasted. No thanks. Let me enjoy what we’re about to eat right now, because I know it’s going to be good.

It’s ten years on. My friend has grown in so many ways into her true self. But she can’t enjoy it because all she sees when we get together is that one thing she thinks marks her as inadequate. And only she has the power to put that replay button away and start making new movies based on who she is today.

Just like us.

Let’s focus on what brings life rather than keep digging up dead bodies and spreading the stink everywhere.

 

(And yes, I’ve told her how I feel. Me not saying what I think is like it not raining in Seattle.)

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Wasn’t Worth Loving

David’s name means beloved. What if he didn’t know he was loved?

What if he’d decided he wasn’t worth loving?

What if his lack of self love in turn caused him to lack love for others?

What if that lack of love made him not care if his people’s enemies mocked his people and their God?

What if one man’s courage, motivated by love, had never defeated his people’s enemies?

You cant afford to have a thought in your head about you that is not also in God’s head about you. Millions of lives could depend on it.

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Your Own Importance

Some random thoughts I’ve had:

We each fit into a bigger picture somewhere, so never overestimate your own importance and, more importantly, never underestimate the significance of others.

 

If you always talk about people and say, “He’s/she’s great BUT…” that habit needs to be loved out of you, and it starts with loving yourself. Whenever you think something nice about yourself or others, stop at the “great” part. Christianity is an ongoing celebration of life, not a daily proclamation of death.

 

If you want people to like you and notice you, perhaps start thinking about liking and noticing them first, rather than about whether or not they are liking and noticing you.

 

Fat-shaming yourself into thinness is never a good idea because in doing so, you become your greatest adversary rather than your greatest ally. Even if it works, you will then use shame as a weapon to try and help others and end up crippling them. Kindness is so much kinder and more productive.

 

“There is a nahar (river), the streams whereof shall make glad the Ir Elohim, the Kedosh Mishkenei Elyon (the holy dwelling of the Most High). Elohim is in the midst of it [i.e., the Ir Elohim}; it shall not be moved.” — Psalm 46:4-5 OJB

 

You are the holy dwelling of God. The streams of his Holy Spirit are flowing through you, making you glad. He is in your midst. You shall not be moved from that wholeness.

 

You can try all you like, but you’ll never manage to legislate or punish people into love.

 

I wonder if God listens to prayers and rates them in the same way we’d rate a book or speech…. Do the angels hover over a board like Vanna White and cheer when one gets interesting? Are there high-fives?  Personally, I think that God prefers the shorter heartfelt and authentic prayers like Help.

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Religious for decades

A collection of thoughts I’ve had:

We’ve been religious for decades about the words that come out of our mouths, but it’s not about the words, it’s about the hearts behind the words. Once your heart is whole, you don’t have to focus on what comes out of your mouth. You can just focus on the fullness of life within.

Most decisions in life are about the jump, not the destination.

God’s pretty good at yelling STOP if you’re about to make a monumentally bad decision. Thing is, though, he usually does it through your friends. Choose them wisely.

Re worry – you’re either going to trust God or you’re not, so every time you hear a “yes, but” in your head, shoot it down the chute into God’s hands and focus on taking care of the things you can.

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.

Tunnels were built because going over the mountaintops took too long, so if you’re in a dark tunnel in life, remember that you’re still on the faster route to the other side.

Powerless people’s approach relationships as consumers. They are always looking for other people who have resources of love, happiness, joy, and comfort to offer in a relationship to share with them, because they don’t have any. But powerful people get their love from the One and keep it on.

Don’t act like an indentured servant to your self-improvement list. You were free to begin with.

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Will You Go?

Back in my teens, I often ran to the front just as quickly as the one beside me when there was an altar call. “Will you go to the nations?” “Will you change the world?” “Will you obey the call and sacrifice it all?”

“Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”

It was such a noble and courageous thing in my mind–to go where the sick and poor needed me, where they would hear about Jesus and thank me for saving their miserable lives. I’d be a savior of sorts, bringing Jesus up in the rear.

A few decades later, I see more clearly. I don’t need to “go” anywhere to be like Jesus, to prove my devotion, to wave my obedience flag, to change the world. And if I went without love, I’d do more damage anyway.

The reality is that an ever-deepening love for God starts overflowing with genuine love for others — my husband, children, friends, the people at the grocery store, the political posters on Facebook, the homeless people at the stoplight. And that love doesn’t look like preaching or loud prayers. It’s a look in their eyes. A touch. Maybe some money. A quiet prayer. A text message. A smile.

Just like Jesus.

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Reflecting

We all reflect something, but if the only time we sparkle is when we’re reflecting other people’s light, it begs the question:

Why is your own light so dim?

And if the only time you feel good about yourself is when other people give you attention, it begs the question:

Why can’t you give yourself positive attention?

And if the only time you feel happy is when everything around you is an opportunity rather than an obstacle, it begs the question:

Which perspective will you choose today?

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Living Memorials

God had the Israelites pile rocks from the river bed as a memorial to the power of God to deliver them, and to bring them to the other side of the impossible and into their amazing futures.

We are all unique

seeing,

communicating,

loving,

resting,

supporting,

laughing,

organizing,

thinking,

teaching,

light-filled,

visible beacons—living stones—living memorials to the power of God to deliver us, bring us to the other side of the impossible and into our amazing futures.

When you’re in the river, you don’t need to go digging for gold—it’s all around you cleverly disguised in people.

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To Be a Light

What does it mean—to be a light in the darkness? What’s a practical way to let the light in you shine?

We have to shine brightly, because the less we shine, the lower the light, the longer the shadows.

“If you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.” – Isaiah 58:10

Love is such a nefarious word, but if you nail it down, it’s about giving time, money, a listening ear, prayer, and support to those you encounter who need it. If you can’t leave your house much, you can still encourage and support people online—from the heart to the heart.

 

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The First Step in Asceticism

“The first step in asceticism the desert will teach you is purification from haste, agitation, impatience, pressure. In the desert you have to get rid of the ‘master of the situation’ complex. You find that you are little, insignificant, squeezed in on a waiting bench. No one takes any notice of your needs. Your name has no influence with people. Your urgent engagements become negligible. And the world goes on without your breathless rushing about.

You get things done not by thumping and kicking but by displaying a quality which is highly respected in the desert: the ability to wait. In the desert you enter another level of time where the hands of the clock are replaced by patience and imperturbability. Your organism has to adapt itself not merely to a different time scale, but to a different rhythm and to a different scale of values. And unless you adapt yourself you run the risk of a nervous breakdown. If, on the other hand, you succeed in entering this new dimension of time, you will experience an unexpected calm, a hitherto unknown sense of freedom, and a surprising capacity for wonder.”

—Meditations on the Sand by Alessandro Pronzato

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When People Break Your Heart

When people break your heart,

and they surely will …

With what will you fill the bleeding, gaping cracks?

Wet cement 

or

fiery, liquid gold?

Wet cement will certainly harden well.

Leave that heart fortified.

Powerful

Gold, on the other hand,

is a soft, weak metal.

Weathers poorly.

But oh, how it shines in the light….

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