Avril Ashton's Blog, page 8

Yes, Girl. Done Did It.

I hit The End. Yess.

But with me, The End is really just the beginning. Believe it or not, that was the easy part. The hard part starts now, where I gotta make all that jumbled mess make sense.

Because it is jumbled. I gotta add at least, at least, about 20k more words. And it’s at 80k right now. The final, published word count for Elias and Lucky was 80k. So this one is longer. I gotta add about three more sex scenes. Go more in depth with the Dutch and them situation. Handle Stavros, and take away some emotion.

I don’t want it to be a cry fest.

Or a fuck fest.

Although, you know… doesn’t sound so bad.

The beginning is where the majority of the crying and angst happens, since when we first meet the boys they’re both fucked and crazy as hell. But as their story progresses and they allow each other in, they straighten themselves out. So yeah…

Alright. I put the boys (first three books) on sale for $2.99 at the different retailers (Amazon, ARe. KOBO). If you know someone who’s been waiting for that, let ‘em know.

I’m gonna go read. Gotta reread the entire Sinners series, and the entire Run This Town series to make sure shit is on point. Right now, I have no idea what color I said Dutch’s eyes were LOL Gotta go double check. Plus brush up on some threads that were left dangling.

Time frame for when the boys are in your hands? HAHA… No idea. I gotta revise, which might take about a week or so. Then first round beta readers will deal with it. Then I’ll fix what they suggest fixing. Then second round betas will deal with it. And then I’ll fix what they say fix. Then the proof reader will deal with it, and I’ll fix that too.

See where I’m going here?

That means I have no idea when all that will be done, so just keep your ears to the ground. I’m off to cleanse my mind off Tek and Quinn by reading some MF.

Getting Closer

So I just wrote the ‘DARK MOMENT’ in Tek and Quinn’s book. Which is to say, we’re drifting ever closer to the end. Not close, but closer. There’s still a bit more to get done. Tek needs to man up and grovel. Shit needs to happen. Then some other shit which will then allow other shit to go down.

Yep.

But closer to the end so that’s always good.

Now, if you’ve read Unmask You I shouldn’t have to remind you who Stavros is. I know we’ve all hated that Greek fucker. Welp. Brace yourself. You will despise the dude in Tek and Quinn’s story. De-Spise. And I’m hoping, too, that with the breadcrumbs I’m dropping as I go, you’ll be intrigued enough to at least want to see duke get his comeuppance. Because as I posted to FB and Twitter the other day…

I have a kernel of an idea for Stavros’ story.

I have the title.

Call The Coroner

And I know who his love interest will be.

It’s a secret that will be revealed in Save You.

Basically, as Save You will be the last “official” Run This Town book, it’s going to serve as a launching pad for a bunch of other characters and their stories. Namely the fellas from Loose Ends (which would have been the Brooklyn Sinners spin off). You know them dudes, Dutch and Patel and Vince and Jack and them fools.

So what I have done is cooked up a very convoluted/complicated/intricate story that I’m doing my damndest to execute, ’cause I know if I don’t y’all will be coming for my ass.

I like my ass where it’s at.

I’m going to stay off here until I’ve written the end. So the next time I post will be to tell you that yes, girl. I done did that shit. Of course, I can’t stay off FB and Twitter, so I’ll still be around. But blog wise, I’m not coming by until I’ve hit the end.

My kid graduates from Elementary school today. Can you believe that mess?Time flies so fast. Come August she’ll be a middle schooler. I’m not ready, I tell you. Not at all.

Any whoos.

In the meantime, you can try guessing who Stavros’ love interest could possibly be. I will give you a hint: We’re taking it way back.

Can I just say how much I’m shocked at how my mind does this shit? I drop all kinds of (seemingly) non-important things in my books, then all of a sudden, they make sense when I need them to. And dots start connecting like WHOA.

There are dots to be connected. Get to work.

I always have a moment…

I always have a moment, after I’ve stayed away from a manuscript for a while. I walk away from it because I’m lost, or pretty sure it sucks, or some kind of weird variation of those two themes. And as it always happens, I go back.

Because my men call me back. They do, and I answer. I return to them. I reacquaint myself with them. And I’m always struck with how much what I’ve managed to crank out so far doesn’t suck.

Not gonna give you that old woe is me bull. Even though I do that so well. I have my moments of self-doubt. I accept it. I wallow in that shit. I own it. And it eventually always resolves itself.

I don’t fight it.

As I’ve said before, I go through it with each book.

So yeah, I’m at that stage with Tek and Quinn.

Then I finally open their file after about two (?) weeks of passing that sucker straight like an exam. I read it. Parts that to me weren’t all that solid. Or parts I’d thought I should delete, shift around. Whatever.

It happens all the time, yet each and every time I’m blindsided by how much this thing doesn’t suck. Got caught up in reading it to the point where I lost an hour. Found myself crying with Quinn, for Tek.

Needs work. Not gonna bullshit you. Needs major Goddamn work, but what I’ve written so far?

Lord.

Dare I say I like it?

Yep.

Pretty sure I’ll be back to hating it by the time I’ve hit the end, but for now I’m really liking it. The dynamic between Tek and Quinn is crazy good.

I’ve got major heartbreak headed their way soon, but I’m enjoying their tender moments. Y’all know I like my tender shit. And my nasty shit.

Mmm.

So yeah, the point of this post is really just to say I’m back fucking with Tek and Quinn.

You’re welcome.

Update

Aren’t we past due for an update?

Not sure, but here’s one anyway.

Now, I’ve yapped on and on about my process, which isn’t really a process so much as it’s me putting ass in the chair and letting shit just happen. I hit a sort of block with Tek and Quinn.

Wasn’t so much as it was a roadblock as much as it was a “I don’t even know what the fuck is going on here, or what should be going on here.” So I stepped back, away from them, and began working on a lil hetero story that’s been percolating in my old crazy brain for a minute.

Dad falls for his son’s girlfriend.

Right?

Fucked up.

But I digress.

I now know what should be happening with Tek and Quinn. We’re happy. Chanting Hallelujah, sacrificing lambs and all that good shit.

But wait…

I’m still not writing them.

“Say WHAT?”

First: Get them hands offa them hips when you talking to me.

Second: My mind can’t handle it. My mind refuses to deal with it or write it.

Happened to me other times. I shut down right before I had Lucky get assaulted in the house, because I knew what the hell was coming after that. I shut down before I wrote the rape scene with Syren. Because my mind knew what was coming and couldn’t handle it. I shut down before I had X and Dima take that weekend trip to X’s house because I knew what came next.

I have to set things in motion that’s gonna decimate my boys and my brain can’t handle it. So it sent me here, my other happy place, writing filthy hetero. And you’d think with what I’m writing in this hetero story that it’d be angsty and shit, but meh, despite all the heaviness, it’s still sweet, flowery shit compared to the boys.

So the het is Interracial and is at 25k. Likely gonna be about 40/45k.

It’s called That First Mistake.

 

Here’s the blurb if you wanna read.

A drunken, late night phone call from his twenty-two year old son has Grant Forena driving almost five hundred miles to knock some sense into him. He didn’t plan on butting heads with the most stunning young woman he’d ever seen. McKay Priestly is fierce, strong, and captivating in ways Grant never expected. She’s also taken, by his son. So how can he explain what happens every time their eyes meet?

Grant blames McKay for his son’s reckless behavior, but she knows all too well something else drives his anger and harsh words. She feels the same impossible chemistry. To act on it would be the worst thing they could do, but ignoring it doesn’t make the ache go away.

Any time spent in each other’s company is a mistake, every gaze carries words they wouldn’t dare speak out loud. But restraint can only go so far. Something has to give and when it finally does, it sets off an emotional bomb of betrayal and heartbreak that began with that very first mistake.

 

I’ll swing by soon if I have other news/updates.

I likely won’t post again before this weekend, so I’d like to say HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to all my readers. I love you.

The What Ifs…

As I get close to writing Tek and Quinn’s first love scene, I had to stop for a second.

Mostly to get my mind right. For them, my mind needs to be in the right zone. It’s not there.

But I was thinking about Tek last night. About how much I love him. Now, I adore all my dudes. And Quinn is giving Tek a run for his money when it comes to owning my heart. Sometimes I love Quinn more than I love Tek. But I’m all caught up in Tek and what makes him tick, his very complicated life, and all the battles and shit he’s had to overcome. So I’m thinking about that and making sure it’s all there at the forefront of my mind when time comes to write their sex.

Because our experiences color everything we do. Including how we love and accept being loved. How we give and accept pleasure. And Tek…

That boy…

He’s an expert at compartmentalizing his crazy, know what I mean? In Body You we saw absolutely NONE of that crazy, but as we’ll find, he was chest deep in it even THEN. His ability to do that astounds me. It’s like everything is packed away neatly in nice little boxes, all separate, none of it touching the other. None of his lives bleeding over into the other. Because son has like nine lives.

But you know me and you know I will make that fucker bleed out.

So we’re in the calm. The first half or so of this book will be the calm. Then I hit you with the storm just as you start sighing, talking ’bout ooh, they so in luh. Then we uncork the lid and out pops Tek’s crazy.

I’m salivating. For real.

I’m still not definite on who he is regarding his love of wearing women’s clothes. Sometimes I think I do and then poof, that disappears. I still do not know. Handling that topic is fucking with me. I have to do it justice, I have to make it believable. I have to make it real, organic, and about Tek. Not about what you want or what you expect.

And you want to know something?

That’s so much easier said than done.

I’ll share with you the big worries I have for this book. I have worries about all my books. I put them in two groups, the Big Worries, and the Small Worries. Small worries are things like sex and how much to have, making sure it’s up to my trademarked standards. Is it hot enough, will the reader need wet wipes and a cigarette? Shit like that.

That’s the small stuff. I don’t sweat it too much.

The big stuff. Now that’s got me chewing on my nails and pulling my hair out.

In this instance, the big stuff has to do with:

*Tek’s love of playing dress up. Is it much more than him just having a thing for it? I haven’t definitively answered that question yet.

*The relationship between Tek and Elias. I have to put them in a room together, and I am dreading it. Like, if I could get away with them never seeing each other in this book I would. But nope, because (reasons).

*The plot. Take away the romance. The topic I’m tackling here is heavy duty, and I have to do it justice. How to make it all come together is damn daunting. Knowing what I have to do and actually doing it so you’ll get—and understand—it, are two entirely different things.

*I mentioned the foreshadowing of stuff.

I’m using this book as a vehicle for my next series. The characters you’ve already met and want to know more about. So merging all of it here has to be smooth and not inserted in some corner just because I want to lead you into the next series.

Feel me?

So how to do all of that while not overpowering the characters, while not reducing them to supporting roles, it’s difficult.

This is just me putting what’s in my head down, for both of us to see. You and I. Believe it or not, it actually helps when I put my fears and worries down like this. It frees me up, eases the problem some, and allows me some room to travel down the What If road.

That’s how my books all come together, you know.

What if I have two suicidal men fall in love? And what if they’re each other’s weakness? What if loving each other makes them vulnerable together? What if they can’t make it work, can’t find ground smooth enough to build something on? What if one of them is burdened down with secrets he refuses to unload on the man he says he loves? And what if that man decides they’re better apart, that they’re toxic together?

What if everything explodes, the secrets, the lies, and danger threatens the love these men never wanted, but have anyway?

Tek unleashes the crazy, that’s what. And nobody wants to be around when Tek unleashes the crazy.

You call this an Update?

It’s time for an update, yep.

I’m at the halfway mark on Tek and Quinn. 50k words. This is gonna be a long one. For real though. And I’m all twisted up in the different strands of the story that I’m hoping to connect, meaning shit is mad complicated yo.

It’s a difficult tale to tell because I’m trying to give you this love story but also show you some things, foreshadow some other stuff, and resolve yet some other stuff.

Vague much?

The romance situation is moving along, although nope. We haven’t had sex yet. 50k!! No sex! Can you believe that mess? I’ll have to reposition some crap during revisions to maybe have it happen sooner, but as I type, we’re at 50K and there’s no fucking!

Is this not an Avril Ashton book? Where the freaky shit at?

Fact is, at this stage of the game, my mans and them dictate what happens and if they don’t feel like having sex I’m not gonna force them to put D in A. After I’ve hit The End on this first draft, I can then reassess and possibly shift some things around to see if we can make it happen sooner. But as of now, no nookie.

What we do have is some hella emotional moments between Quinn and Xavier. Lord have mercy! And Tek stripping himself emotionally for Quinn. Pearls! Pearls! And Quinn getting territorial on Tek. Sweet baby Jesus! And Tek killing people. Son, I haven’t even delved into the shit that needs delving into.

Lots of shit needs setting up. Old friends and familiar faces need to appear.

My timeline is all murky. I just write a chapter at a time. So I know what is happening today, but I won’t know anything until I actually get tomorrow’s chapter written.

How does that work, Av?

Why you asking me though? I’unno. I just write this shit.

#LGBTQ Push Back #Charity #Giveaway

 

LGBT people make up less than 10% of the overall population, yet 40% of homeless kids in the U.S. identify as LGBT. Of them, 68% cited family rejection for the reason they were on the streets. Studies have repeatedly shown that homeless LGBT kids are more at risk of being attacked, robbed, and raped than their heterosexual counterparts, more likely to engage in prostitution or survival sex, more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol, and more likely to attempt or commit suicide.

Despite this, less than 25% of homeless shelters cater for or specifically target LGBT kids, leaving them at the mercy of individual organizations who can pick and choose who they help and who they abandon on the streets. Laws such as Indiana’s SB 101 enshrine the legality of refusing service—including such basic assistance as food and shelter—to people specifically because they’re LGBT.

This isn’t about pizza. This is about creating a climate in which LGBT individuals feel isolated from and rejected by the rest of society. It’s about creating a climate in which parents feel justified for kicking their kids out on the street. It’s about cutting off any and all support networks which might otherwise be available to prevent kids from ending up on life’s scrapheap because of how they were born.

Want to read a happier ending?

Changing laws and attitudes takes time, and right now there are LGBT people in need who can’t afford to wait. The sooner we can help them, the better, and the more resources we have, the more help we can offer.

That’s why 224 authors, review bloggers, and publishers have got together to offer something wonderful: a reward for people who do a little bit to give back to charity. Instead of spending $5 on a book in the next two weeks, give that $5 to an LGBT charity of your choice, tell us about it in the comments, and go into the draw to win a book from one of our participating donors. And because it’s not all about money, if you can’t make a donation then please take a moment to share a charity’s links and tell us about that instead.

Rafflecopter Giveaway

Three fundraisers have been set up to counter the hateful effects of Indiana’s SB 101. #Pizza4Equality is aiming to match the money raised by *that* pizza parlor, with all donations going to Cyndi Lauper’s True Colors Fund. Another fundraiser is aiming to raise $100,000 for Indiana Youth Group . Finally, Planting Peace is trying to raise $100,000 to provide beds for homeless LGBT people.

Please consider giving to one of these deserving fundraisers, or any other LGBT charity anywhere in the world. We’re not telling you where you should donate your time and money, only asking that you do. The smallest things can make the biggest difference, and together, we can do something incredible.

*First Kiss is a work of fiction copyright 2015 by AJ Rose and any resemblance to actual places or people, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Youtube Video of Participating Authors

Tek and Quinn + An Excerpt

As so often happens, life got in the way of much of my writing today. So I figured I’d hop on over here and drop a little excerpt in your lap, try to ease that hunger you got for all things Tek and Quinn.

 

****

 

Denial. He’d denied himself. And he’d pretended. Until it cracked, that smooth, fake façade. It shattered and he’d collapsed under that weight. The weight of his lies, the judgement, the ache to please, to be accepted, to be loved again. To have love again.

It all blew apart like a fucking bomb and he’d found himself here, in this room, a rope around his neck and his toes brushing the floor as he swung.

Like a pendulum.

Giving up had felt…defeating. Letting go had been…relieving.

He hadn’t struggled while his life had played behind his eyes. The assaults from inside Rikers, too many, far too many. The helplessness of it until he’d suddenly had not one but two protectors. His time with Elias had been all there, too. All twisted up, two strands, good and bad. Humiliation and love. Sex and companionship. Violence and comfort.

How had he been able to detangle himself from Tek and their time inside Rikers so easily? How had he been able to walk away and love someone so completely as he loved his Lucky? How had he done it? Tek needed that secret. He needed to know.

Even outside Rikers, Elias been there to save Tek again.

He’d been there, fear and horror in his eyes when he’d raced into the room to see Tek hanging from the rope. He’d flung something at the rope above the beam. A blade of some kind because the next thing Tek knew he was on the floor, coughing, crying.

Elias had cried too. He’d held Tek and rocked him, cursing him in the same breath that he used to apologize, to voice his love.

But it was wasn’t the love Tek wanted. Never the love he wanted.

His phone went off, vibrating in his jacket pocket and bringing him back to the present. He blinked in the darkness, surprised to find his lashes wet. He pulled his phone out, checked the caller’s identity, and frowned when he didn’t recognize it.

“Yeah.”

“So that’s how you repay someone for letting you stay in their home? You steal their shit?”

Tek grinned at the familiar voice, surprising himself. “Quinn.” He hadn’t anticipated Quinn ever using the number Tek had scribbled down at the last minute, calling himself an idiot as he did. Nor had he anticipated that call being so welcomed.

“I want my property back.”

Quinn with a gun. Tek couldn’t let that happen. “It’s mine now.” His ass cramped so he shifted on the carpet. “How are you, Quinn?”

“Short a gun.”

Tek smiled again and lifted a hand to touch the gesture, mapping it with shocked fingers. “You’ll get over it.”

“You son of a bitch.”

And Tek couldn’t stop fucking grinning. “You want it back? Then get up, get dressed, walk outside your house.”

Quinn went silent.

“Go to the airport, get on a flight, and come… to New York.” He’d almost said come to me. “If you do that, Quinn, I’ll buy a hundred more guns to go with the one I took from you.”

All he heard was Quinn’s heaving breaths in his ear, coming in short, sharp gasps.

“Quinn.” God. Tek’s heart squeezed in his chest. So tight. ‘Talk to me.”

“You think—” His words broke then Quinn tried again. “You think you’re so fucking smart.”

Tek shook his head in the dark. “Not smart, no. But I know enough.”

Quinn cleared his throat. “Is that why you took my gun? Because you think you know something?”

Tek chose to ignore that question. “Who are you, Quinn?”

The silence went on for so long, Tek feared he’d driven Quinn off the phone.

“I don’t know who I am,” Quinn said finally. Softly. Voice so heartbreaking.

Everything about him called to Tek. Everything about him made Tek want to fix him when he himself was the one lying on the floor, shredded. “What do you know?” he asked.

“I know you’re the first man I let touch me in years.” The words were almost accusatory. “I know you’re the first person I let into my home. I know you’re the only reason I can go to sleep nowadays.”

Tek swallowed, trying to figure out what to say. How to say it. “Why me?” he rasped. “All the things you just said… why me?” He wondered if Quinn would say it, if he’d acknowledge it.

“I don’t know.” The frustration in Quinn’s voice cut at Tek.

“Because I see you,” Tek whispered. He saw too fucking much of what he felt in Quinn’s eyes.

“No.” Quinn’s voice rose, anger and fear blending seamlessly. “Don’t say that, because you don’t. You can’t, and I don’t want you to.”

“Quinn—”

“Bring back my fucking gun.” Then he was gone, leaving Tek with a dial tone and a hole in his gut.

Post Vacation Update

Thought it was about time I let you know that I’m home from vacation. You know there’s that thing after you’ve been away where you gotta get your bearings back? I’m there. So as I post this, I haven’t written anything on Tek and Quinn in 10 days. That’s gonna remain the status quo until next Monday. That’s when kid returns to school and we resume our routine.

The family had a wonderful time. We rented a condo on the beach in Panama City Beach. I ate. So much. Wore shorts, in public, for the first time. Wore a bikini, in public, for the first time. Drank a mojito, for the first time.

See, I’m like the most boring person you’ll have the misfortune of meeting. But I decided to be a tad more adventurous, which was why I was walking all over Panama City Beach in a bikini and nothing else. Lawd. People were seeing way more than just my knees LOL

But it was all good. Had a blast, and now I’m back to the real world. We’ll be back on our usual updates beginning next week once I hit my grove again.

To my peeps in the NY area, I’ll be up there in June. The week of the 21st, to get married. So if you want to hang out, lemme know.

Talk soon.

Another Update

Another update for ya!

We’re at the 30k mark. Now, this is almost as if I’d just started writing yesterday, meaning there’s a fuckload more to get written, which translates to, no dates. I keep getting asked that. I can’t estimate, something could happen today or tomorrow in real life which will throw all that planning and date setting out the window. Ask me about dates after I tell you I’ve written the end.

Even then, I might not know.

As it stands, I’m taking the family on vacation next week, so that’s gonna be a week with no writing, see? I write 3k words, or thereabouts, a day (Mon thru Fri). So if you count that up, I’m missing 15k words. That’s a whole lot for me, which would put my ass behind any schedule/timetable I’d give.

So please…

Wait for me to hit the end. Whenever that will be. I know we’re antsy. I know we’re all worried. I know. But you hold the tail while I fuck this cow.

LOL, That’s a Mr. A saying for “give me space to do what I do.”

Part One is done. First kiss has been had. The foundation has been set. I’m about to embark on what I’m pretty sure will be the most devastating, emotional, delicious Part Two aka The Unmask You shit. I get to find out just what Tek’s secrets are. What his family’s legacy is. He’s been referring to “ascending the throne”. I want to know what the fuck that throne is! I also get to figure out what his deal is with regards to his love of feminine clothes.

Right now, I don’t know about any of that. I’ll find out literally as I’m typing LOL. I love when that happens.

Alright. I’ll be back at the next 10k mark.