Lisi Harrison's Blog, page 14
October 23, 2013
Pretenders Guide: Love The Day You Hate
Back when I was in school, nothing depressed me more than Sunday evening. The Canadian world outside my bedroom window was dark, cold, and still. The only light seemed to come from my desk lamp which cast a judgmental glow on the leaning tower of binders that had yet to be cracked. I was either exhausted from a sleepover or mourning the lack of messages from my latest crush. I also suffered from S.H.S. or Sudden Hate Syndrome–the fear of being despised on Monday for no reason. And then there...
Pretenders Guide: Love The Day You Hate.
Back when I was in school, nothing depressed me more than Sunday evening. The Canadian world outside my bedroom window was dark, cold, and still. The only light seemed to come from my desk lamp which cast a judgmental glow on the leaning tower of binders that had yet to be cracked. I was either exhausted from a sleepover or mourning the lack of messages from my latest crush. I also suffered from S.H.S. or Sudden Hate Syndrome–the fear of being despised on Monday for no reason. And then there...
October 14, 2013
California here I come.
It’s awn my friends!! I’m hitting the road this week with a fresh pen and a fading tan to spread the word about Pretenders. I’ll tell you all about the new series, I’ll sign, I’ll pose, I’ll say inappropriate things by accident, give away SWAP bracelets, Pretenders pens, and oodles of love.
Got homework? Pretend it’s done. #Wearepretenders.
Got practice? Pretend you have cramps. #Wearepretenders.
Got no ride? Pretend you have to buy an important book for school (#Wearepretenders) and tell the mo...
October 9, 2013
The Fashion Channel: A Pretenders Guide to Fashion Trends.
Forgive me for prying but:
Do you have a flair for drama? Do you turn to celebrities and fashion mags for inspiration? If at first you don’t succeed do you try-try again?
Yes? That’s you? Well then, your Pretender Personality is Sheridan. You like to channel different personas to fit your mood and agenda, which makes fashion one of your greatest assets. Wearing a fab outfit will give you confidence to talk to that crush, ace that test, or sweet-talk your parents into lifting that embarrassing c...
October 1, 2013
Selfie-Help: A Pretender’s Guide to the Perfect Selfie
First a word from our sponsor…
Today is the day, my friends!!!! I am so excited to share this novel with you. Finally!!! This is why I am posting today instead of my usual Wednesday. I seriously can’t be contained. I have lived with these secrets long enough. I must share.
Being a Pretender is lonely. Like in a superhero sort of way. You have this public persona and then this whole other thing going on internally and if you’re any good at it, no one knows. You must become your own best friend....
September 25, 2013
Fake It to the Limit
Thanks to all of you who joined me in the lounge yesterday. It was a blast!!! I’m sorry about the technical difficulties, but you can watch the webcast here.
We’ve all heard the phrase, fake it ’til you make it. But these master pretenders started after they made it. Or maybe fame gave them the means to become the people they were truly meant to be. It’s impossible to know. If only we had their journals…
5. Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore
From naughty to hottie.
4. Miley Cyrus
From ah-dore to hard...
September 18, 2013
It’s Time We Had “The Talk”
Hey, do you have a second? …It’s nothing major, just that, you know, we’ve been hanging out for like, 10 years now and… while I think this weekly Blah-g thing is great, it’s starting to feel a little, I dunno, been-there-done-that… No, I’m not trying to end things. Actually, it’s the opposite. I was hoping we could have a real chat, like where I see your face and you see mine. Eyes blinking, mouths moving. Just us being us in real eastern / pacific standard time.
What do you say? Can we at lea...
September 11, 2013
Humble-Blah-gging
Humble Bragging= Bragging about yourself while couching it in a phony show of humility.
Example: I wrote the first two Clique books while working at MTV but when Best Friends for Never debuted at #7 on the New York Times Bestseller list I was forced to quit and write full time. Suddenly life became very lonely. It was awful.
Humble Blah-gging = Blah-gging about your new series while couching it in a phony show of humility.
Example:
Wow! I am seriously spacey. I didn’t even realize I was holding t...
September 5, 2013
#WeArePretenders
I, Lisi Harrison, am a Pretender. I have ventured beyond my limitations in a playful way. I have spray tanned, batted false eyelashes, dyed my hair, worn a water bra, and jammed my gut into SPANX! I’ve performed live concerts for invisible crowds and faked my period to get out of swim class. I’ve said it’s not him, it’s me when it was him and I’ve used a fake I.D. to vote. I’ve even claimed to use a fake I.D. to vote when it was really to rent a vehicle. I mean a bike. I mean… fine, I tried a...
September 4, 2013
New Year’s Leave
It’s the Jewish New Year and I am late for dinner. Oy! Not a very good start if you ask me. I have a half-written blah-g saved as a draft, which I will finish the minute I get into the office tomorrow. I promise. It’s full of confessions and one big embarrassing secret about me. And no, the secret isn’t that I dropped the blah-g ball today. That’s not a secret. You already know that.
Shoot. Gotta run.
Shalom out.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Lisi
Filed under: Updates Tagged: temp blog
