Benjamin Sobieck's Blog, page 41

NOW AVAILABLE: Maynard Soloman Legalizes Gay Knot Tying

Be the first to read the newest installment in the Amazon #1 best-selling political humor series, Maynard Soloman Legalizes Gay Knot Tying. This is the fifth in the series and, if you ask me, certainly one of the best - if not the best.

Description

Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. If you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time.

In this short story, the Ol' Badger runs into his estranged wife's cult. In order to get a divorce, he'll need to legalize gay marriage. Or be eaten as a human sacrifice.

He'd better hurry. The cult just bought ranch dressing.

* BONUS: Includes Maynard's 10 Signs Your Kid is in a Cult.

Click here to get it for 99 cents on Amazon for the Kindle.

All other e-reader types, click here to get it for 99 cents on Smashwords. (It will be on B&N, Kobo, Sony and Apple soon enough!)

 

 

Praise for Maynard Soloman Stories

"Maynard is the philosopher-cum-man-of-action that we all wish we could be, the detective who solves mysteries by turning idiocy against itself." – Peter Rozovsky, Detectives Beyond Borders (Spinetingler Award winner)

 

"Oh my goodness! I'm not sure when I've laughed so hard. It was like having a conversation with the man from the Grumpy Old Men movie! So much fun!" – Gina Hott, Hott Books

 

"I recommend to everyone who is looking for a quick read. It's perfect for that pick me up laugh, that bathroom read, that afternoon escape." - Molly Edwards, Reviews by Molly

 

"If you don't like Maynard Soloman then you don't like freedom. Ya mugs." - Laura Roberts, ePublisher Daily

 

"With a chip on his shoulder and more than his share of attitude, the protagonist presents himself as a force to be reckoned with and immediately captured my interest." - Chantal Boudreau, author/illustrator

 

* Author nominated for Best Short Story of 2011 by Preditors & Editors Readers Poll.

Coming Soon: Maynard Soloman Legalizes Gay Knot Tying

Maynard Soloman, gal-damn detective, returns in Maynard Soloman Legalizes Gay Knot Tying. It's the next short story installment in the Amazon #1 best-selling political humor series.

Review of a Great Mob E-Book

When you set your sights as high as Dana King did in Wild Bill, it's easy to fall down. The epic scope of this mob yarn offers plenty of pitfalls for a first-time novelist. But author King handles things with a steady hand, crafting something truly captivating and special in a crowded field of "Godfather" wannabes. It had my complete attention from start to finish.

 

The title character is working a long-term operation to bring down organized crime in Chicago. When the Outfit's leader dies, two rivals compete to take things over. It's up to Bill to play one off the other in hopes he can bring both to justice. He's got to do it before the plug is pulled on the operation, and before he winds up arrested himself.

 

The story is told through tight, concise writing that never misses a beat. The style lends itself well to the twists and turns. Author King writes like a tough guy, never revealing too much until the bodies start hitting the floor. Yet he paints a vivid enough picture that you feel you're right in the middle of things. You might even pick a side in the mob war.

 

That goes for the ending, too, which is so unexpected and unsettling, I'd put it up there with the elevator scene in The Departed. It's that good.

 

Wise guys, gun molls and other made men will want to pick this up. You will, too.

Click here to get Wild Bill from Amazon for the Kindle.

Click here to get Wild Bill from Barnes & Noble for the Nook.

Carl Sagan Quote About Reading Books

Found this on facebook. If it's true, Carl Sagan is a gal-damn saint. Was just watching Cosmos the other day.

Maynard Soloman, gal-damn detective, Hits #1 in Political Humor

I'm speechless, so I'll let the pictures do the talking. And this link to get 4 Funny Detective Stories - Starring Maynard Soloman for free through Saturday.

How to Match Your Beverage to What You're Writing

I'm riffing on this topic over at the blog of author/criminologist Jennifer Chase. Click here to check it out. You'll enjoy it.

What Squirrel Tastes Like: Indie Crime Fiction

It's odd how writing and reading slips into other parts of your life. Take eating squirrels, for example.

This past weekend, I had the privelege to travel into some of the prettiest country in Minnesota. The southeastern part of the state is sculpted by limestone bluffs overlooking lazy streams and picture-perfect farmland. Take a look from the top of the bluffs, and you'd swear someone slipped a painting in front of you.

 

Other than the scenery, the main objective was squirrel. As in hunting and eating them. Now, before you break out the banjos and Deliverance quotes, consider this bit. Wild game is sourced from 100% sustainable "farms" (i.e. the woods), fed 100% organic diets, raised in 100% free range environments, rarely takes more than a few miles to get to the dinner table and comes in a 100% biodegradable "wrapper." Compare it to a factory farmed chicken breast shipped hundreds of miles to a grocery store, and it's no question which is better for the environment (although I'm not here to preach at you).

Those with adventurous palettes and open minds might appreciate these things as I do. In that way, it's like writing and reading.

 

Wait, what?

 

Writing and reading pays off the most when taking a risk. There is safety in jumping into mainstream works (the chicken breast). But take a risk on something that looks weird on the outside (squirrel), and you might find something new and fantastic on the inside.

 

Which is better for your mind (the environment) largely depends on what taste it leaves in your mouth. I've read bad mainstream books just like I've had bad chicken dishes. I've also read great indie books just like I've had fantastic wild game.

I've also had great chicken dinners and terrible wild game. The latter tends to be riskier. But when it's done right, the payoff is tremendous. More so than any chicken incarnation.

The bottom line here is that you have to take risks, try new things. Readers, go find authors you've never heard of before and give them a try. Authors, try your hand at a new genre. I never thought I'd write humor before taking a stab at the Maynard Soloman series.

As for the squirrel, they're in a freezer waiting for someone to work up the courage to test Grandma Sobieck's Chicken-Fried Squirrel recipe. I'll get to it as soon as I clean out my Goodreads list.

 

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BSP: Take a chance on Cleansing Eden - The Celebrity Murders, a crime novel that can only be described as "squirrely." Available exclusively on Amazon here.

"Cleansing Eden - The Celebrity Murders" Explodes in the UK

Wow.

Readers in the UK responded in a huge way to Cleansing Eden - The Celebrity Murders this past weekend. The free period Friday, Saturday and Sunday rocketed it to #35 in all of Amazon UK. I guess they like their psychological crime thrillers on that side of the pond.

Here in the States, Cleansing Eden did very well, too. It hit #559 in all of Amazon, and #24 in the suspense category.

Thank you to everyone who put this crime novel on the map!

US readers, click here to get Cleansing Eden from Amazon.

UK readers, click here to get Cleansing Eden from Amazon.

Free Through Feb. 26: "Cleansing Eden" Crime Thriller Novel

Don't wait! The Cleansing Eden crime thriller novel is back as an e-book on digital bookshelves. To kick things off, this 5-star e-book is yours for free through Sunday, Feb. 26 exclusively on Amazon.

If you don't have a Kindle, click here to get the free Kindle e-reader program for your PC, Mac or mobile device. You don't want to miss out on this limited time offer.

Click here to get Cleansing Eden free from Amazon.

When an eccentric businessman recruits drug addict Nick Eden to test a strange substance called Bluegrasse, he jumps on the chance at free dope, food and shelter.

As Nick's addiction grows, he realizes these things won't be free for long. The businessman's twisted sense of morality manipulates Nick into murdering "pedophile" celebrities. As much as he wants to, Nick can't stop killing. Just like he can't kick Bluegrasse.

As the body count rises, Nick must choose which Eden will receive the ultimate cleansing of sin: The entertainment Eden of Hollywood or the Eden in the mirror. Either way, someone's going to die.

"Cleansing Eden is a highly suspenseful read. Benjamin Sobieck has an inventive way with words. He writes with a voice that's strong and uniquely his." – Debbi Mack, New York Times bestselling author of the Sam McRae series

Click here to get Cleansing Eden free from Amazon.

 

When Is It OK to Kill Kids in Fiction?

After lengthy discussions on Facebook last week fueled by a dog death at the beginning of an e-book, the folks at Spinetingler Magazine got in touch with me. They suggested I consider W.D. County's story Plastic Soldiers in their anthology, Speedloader. Do the same "rules" about killing animals in fiction also apply to killing children?

After reading this piece, I concluded two things.

1) I've never read anything so intense in my entire life. I may never again. This is a story that reaches into your guts, twists them and doesn't stop until it's absolutely positive you'll never forget the pain. And I won't.

2) I'm more confused about killing children in fiction than ever before. I thought this was a black-and-white thing. I was wrong.

For many, there are no gray areas on this issue. That's completely understandable. If that's how you feel, I don't recommend reading more. It's about to get bad. Really bad.

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Plastic Soldiers is about the abduction, rape, murder and cremation of boys. The protagonist keeps plastic Army men in his pocket. They "talk" him through his emotional and physical pain - even as he listens to other abductees being raped in the other room.

If you only judge the story off that short description, it'd be easy to write this story off as obscene. But if you keep an open mind about the craft of writing - and can judge a story on the capabilities of the author - then you may find some appreciation for this piece. You might agree with me that despite the astronomical brutality, this is a brilliant piece of fiction.

County's protagonist thinks like a child. It's uncanny. From the things the toy soldiers "say" to him to the words he uses to describe his situation (the "bad man," for example), this is incredible writing. Factor in how breathless the story leaves you by its end, and I got the sense this is almost a perfect piece of fiction.

I say "almost" because of the atrocities commited throughout it. I'm very open-minded, but even I can't say "perfect" in the same sentence as "child rape." But you know what? I don't see how this story could've been written any other way. 

The knee-jerk reaction to that may be, "Why did it have to be kids? Couldn't it be told with adults instead?" Rape is horrible no matter the age. As a society, we place extra attention to children's well-being - and with good reason. But tell an adult survivor of rape that he or she "didn't have it that bad" and see what reaction you receive.

The story wouldn't work with adults anyway. The innocence of a boy keeping plastic soldiers in his pocket is the humanizing juxtaposition to the entire dehumanizing situation. The piece loses its power without these polarizing elements going to either extreme.

I can't recommend Plastic Soldiers to everyone. It's only for those looking for a story to challenge their sensibilities without losing sight of literary quality.

If you're one of those people, Speedloader is available on Amazon here for $0.99, as well as other fine e-book retailers.

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BSP: Looking to lighten things up a bit? Check out 4 Funny Detective Stories - Starring Maynard Soloman. No controvery here, just razor-sharp satire with a heaping side of fun.