Alyce Wilson's Blog: Dispatches from Wonderland - Posts Tagged "scheduling"

Lately, I've had a couple friends ask me about my tips for working my writing into my duties as a stay-at-home mom. While I've written about this subject in other spaces, I have yet to share it here. Here are some of the strategies that work for me:

* Develop a routine.

Babies and toddlers do best when they know what to expect. Now, before you think that this means scheduling your day in 15-minute increments, let me distinguish between a routine and a schedule. A routine indicates activities (or types of activities) that you do at roughly the same time every day or every week. A schedule typically means activities take place at a specific time. While we have some scheduled activities -- such as my exercise classes and the toddler storytime at the library -- most of the rest of our days follow a routine, where we do similar things at a given time of day.

For example, generally speaking, the morning is when we get out of the house, participate in our scheduled activities, and run errands. Then, we return for lunch (the exact time varies), following that with "quiet time." During quiet time, I usually work on either writing or personal projects, while my son plays with his trains, blocks or other toys. During this time, I might also watch a show on Hulu while he enjoys some of his favorite educational programming.

After "quiet time" we do something together: either reading books, coloring or dancing to music. Then, it's naptime (which may or may not actually happen, but if it doesn't, we at least cuddle). This is followed by dinner prep if I'm cooking that night, or some light housework, if I'm not. We have dinner, then, followed by bath time (on alternate nights), and I deliver him to his father, clean and fed, as my husband returns home from work in time for me to do my evening transcription work.

Your routine will, of course, differ according to your needs, but as long as you work in some "quiet time" where your child learns to entertain him or herself while you work (ideally in the same room as your child), you're setting yourself up for success.

* Set small, achievable goals for each day.

One of the best pieces of advice I got early in my days as a write-at-home mom was to be reasonable about my expectations. No, you're probably not going to get as much done as you used to, but that doesn't mean you need to put aside your writing goals until your little one is off at school. Instead, set smaller goals: for example, to write one 500-word article, or to write two pages of your novel, or to submit one writing query. If you're new to parenting, take some time to figure out what you can easily work into your daily schedule, and start with just that. Chances are, as your child gets older and requires a different kind of attention, you'll be able to increase your productivity.

If you find it useful, you can also set a timer for certain activities so that you stay on track. Fifteen minutes of answering e-mail, for example, can keep it at bay while allowing you to stay focused.

* Teach your child independence.

The goal of being a parent is, of course, to send a healthy, well-rounded individual into the world, ready to face whatever challenge might arise. Start early by encouraging your child to solve problems without you immediately jumping up from your laptop. Of course, this is impractical with a crawling baby, who immediately needs to be untangled from a chair leg she's backed into, but a slightly older child can be encouraged to try to find a solution alone before you jump in to save the day.

I work on a lap desk in the same room where my 3-year-old plays, and I've learned a lot of his "crises" are actually solvable by a toddler. Diapers and requests for water aside, I try to talk him through his requests so that he does as much as he can by himself. If he's looking for a toy, for example, instead of jumping up immediately, I suggest different places he might look. If his wooden train set isn't doing what he wants it to do, I ask him if there's another technique he could try before giving up.

I've been using these techniques now for a couple years, and I've found that he's a far better problem solver. In fact, nowadays when I'm interrupted mid-thought, it's usually so that he can show off a new block configuration or a new way of making a pillow fort. In addition to helping me to make the most of my "quiet time," I believe I'm also helping him build important problem-solving skills.

* Take play breaks.

Whatever your writing goals and whatever your routine, remember to spend some time every day just being silly, having fun and sharing some time with your child. It doesn't have to be much: dancing to the radio or taking a walk to look at birds. If you make sure to incorporate some special mommy-and-me time into every day, your child is more likely to accept that sometimes, mommy just needs some quiet to write.

Writers, like moms, don't get a day off. I can say that with authority, because I'm both. On Labor Day, while most of America is grilling burgers and enjoying a day away from the office, writers and moms often continue their regular routines. Moms are faced with the dilemma: Who's going to step in and change your toddler for you, or fix dinner? Who is going to buy groceries or do the laundry, if not you? For writers, the questions are much the same. Who is going to outline your latest book or article for you, if you don't? Who's going to sort through the various ideas you've generated for upcoming projects?

The big question we need to ask is: Do you deserve a day off? The answer, for both mothers and writers, is yes.

Whether or not you get that day off, though can be dependent on a host of other factors. You can't necessarily just declare, "I'm out of here" on a holiday, but you can plan ahead to make sure that you need to do as little as possible.

If, for example, you have yourself locked into a regular publishing schedule on your blog or other online forum, see if it's possible to schedule your post in advance. For example, I knew I wanted to attend a Labor Day party at a friend's place this past Sunday, which is normally the day that I work on the week's entries for Wild Violet . So I made sure I worked on that earlier, using WordPress's scheduling options to make sure it posted at the time that I wanted. That way I can go to the party and enjoy myself without any guilt.

Even if you're not using WordPress for your writer's blog, a lot of other platforms also allow scheduling posts in advance. Or, you could make sure you've written the post ahead of time so that the actual act of posting takes less time. It's even valid to post a quick paragraph, acknowledging the holiday, and declaring you're taking a day off, and perhaps pointing readers to a couple links of writing or other sites you feel are worth checking out.

The same goes for projects with deadlines. While anything for a corporation is unlikely to have a due date over a holiday, if the due date is soon after the holiday, it's natural to want to work through it. Remind yourself that you deserve a break like everybody else, and tried to figure out a way to get more of that work done before the holiday weekend.

The same can apply to mothers (or work-at-home fathers, as the case may be). If you don't want to have to cook and clean on the holiday, prepare a meal ahead of time that can just be heated up. Or shift your usual cleaning schedule so that you get the day off. Of course, nobody is going to tell your child that is your day off, and therefore, you're still going have plenty of parenting duties to perform. However, if you're lucky enough to have a helpful, responsible partner, who may happen to have the day off from work, you should ask him or her to pitch in and help spread out the day's tasks. Single parents can ask the same of a friend or relative, since holidays are meant to be spent together anyway.

Long ago when I began life as a self-employed person, I heard some great advice from other writers. One such piece of advice was that you need to make certain that you make time for things that you enjoy. When you're working at home, there's usually no set work hours. Therefore, it can be easy to focus on nothing but work day and night. Just remember that, along with all the other daily routine tasks, to make room for fun. It may be a short break, especially if you are in the midst of a huge project, but it is important for your mental and emotional well-being that you allow yourself to relax. Even 15 minutes of yoga or a brief walk will make a huge difference.

For me, the party Sunday was doubly welcome. Even though I couldn't escape my parenting duties, and spent much of the party playing in the front room with my 3-year-old and a couple of other children and their parents, simply being around other people, being able to talk to them and express ideas that went beyond the latest project or explaining basic vocabulary words, did me a world of good.

Still reluctant to take some time off? Consider this: Just because you're hiking with your family doesn't prevent you from mentally planning out your latest fiction project, or sketching poems in your mind. But if you take the day off, you'll get to enjoy the sights and smells of the outdoors while you do so.