Emilie Wapnick's Blog, page 4

Befriending Time in The New Year

You probably know the feeling:

You have a variety of different projects to get done. Several approaching deadlines loom over your head. Your growing to-do list might make you question whether you’ve ever gotten anything done at all. Plus, you feel like you’re probably forgetting something.

While these thoughts may be a common side effect of a busy schedule, multipotentialites seem to be uniquely prone to experiencing them on a regular basis. I recently realized that, even though I have been less busy than usual for a couple of months, my mind and body still tend to be operating like I have tons to get done and not enough time to do it all. I became so accustomed to juggling multiple (read: way too many) tasks and responsibilities simultaneously that my mind and body began to take it for granted.

I can easily trace this underlying sense of overwhelm and the scarcity of time back to my experiences in college, balancing my time (often precariously) between classes, part-time work and internships, research, clubs and organizations, and ensemble rehearsals and performances. Hindsight really can be 20/20—I didn’t fully grasp the potential for this type of schedule to become toxic until I had a few months of separation from my college lifestyle.

Learning from the let-down effect

I recently came across a phenomenon called the let-down effect, which describes how our body can respond to a time of stress after it’s over. During periods of heightened stress, our limbic system coordinates the release of hormones that aid us in meeting the challenges at hand. But as these hormones dissipate, their aftermath can leave the body more vulnerable to physical illness and mental health ramifications.

While the best remedy for the let-down effect is to avoid its triggers in the first place, the next best option involves decompressing following a stressful period. Notably, this process can include staying relatively busy while gradually decreasing your stressors to allow your body time to adjust without dropping hormone levels too abruptly. I personally learned about this process a bit too late to avoid experiencing some symptoms of the let-down effect myself, but it made me realize the importance of preventing myself from falling into similar situations in the future.

Like many multipotentialites, I actually enjoy balancing several different types of work and activities simultaneously. But the key is just that: balance. And achieving balance inherently depends on our relationships with time in our daily lives.

What’s your relationship with time?

Do you think of time as the enemy, passing rapidly while you struggle to keep up with all of your responsibilities and pursuits? Or do you think of time as a precious gift to be cherished and filled with living your life to the fullest?

If you’re like me, you might do your best to balance mindfulness of the present moment with planning for the future, but often fall back into thinking of time as scarce and fleeting. The way we think about time directly guides how we make decisions related to time management and impacts our emotional relationships with time in both short-term and long-term contexts.

Now that 2023 is here, I have also been thinking about the momentous role of time in our new years’ resolutions. Not only does our relationship with time guide what types of resolutions we make (or decide not to make) and whether we stick with them, but it also affects our emotional connections with our resolutions and the motivation behind them. From a more existential standpoint, new years’ resolutions may be guided by our long-term relationships with time within the context of our lives and how we envision our life trajectories unfolding.

Reflecting back on some of my past new years’ resolutions, I realized that most—if not all—resolutions involve a time element. If you want to start doing yoga regularly, you need to set aside time to go to classes or dedicate time to practicing on your own. If your resolution involves going back to school part-time, you need to balance your class and homework time with your work schedule. If you want to travel more, you need to plan your trips around your other work, school, or family commitments. Actively dedicating time to a particular activity makes it much easier for you to do it, both short-term and long-term.

Do you think of time as the enemy, passing rapidly while you struggle to keep up with all of your responsibilities and pursuits? Or do you think of time as a precious gift to be cherished and filled with living your life to the fullest?

Befriending time through new years’ resolutions (or lack thereof)

Of course, our relationship with time impacts how well we stick to new years’ resolutions. But our resolutions (or lack thereof) can also serve as tools to help us relate to time in a more healthy and positive way. Here are three pairs of questions that helped me to establish a foundation to develop a more positive relationship with time. I hope they will help you, too—whether you decide to set new years’ resolutions or not!

1. Are you happy with how you’ve been spending your time on a day-to-day basis? Is there anything notably missing from your schedule?

Assessing what you dedicate your time to each day and considering whether you are happy with how you’ve been spending your time is one of the first steps to developing stronger time management skills. Thinking critically about how you have been spending your time can enable you to identify areas you want to dedicate more time to, as well as activities you may want to cut back on.

Importantly, the goal of this exercise is NOT to make you feel bad about what you have used your time to do! Also, do your best not to think of time spent resting or recharging between tasks as “wasted” because relaxation can be a major factor supporting mental health, allowing you to bring your best self to your work and hobbies.

2. What would a healthier relationship with time look and feel like for you? What steps can you take to cultivate the relationship with time that you envision for yourself?

Based on what you learned from the first question, you might already have some ideas about how you could improve your relationship with time on a daily basis. In addition to concrete ideas about improving your time management and how you balance activities, you will also want to think about what a healthier relationship with time would feel like within the context of your own life.

For example, a healthier relationship with time might involve greater mindfulness for the present moment, not constantly feeling rushed, or feeling more confident about how you decide to spend your time. If you identified activities you’re passionate about that are absent from your schedule right now, your healthier relationship with time will likely involve devoting more time to those interests. You might also want to have clearer boundaries between different areas of your life, so that your work responsibilities don’t encroach on your time with family and friends.

You should now have a clearer sense of how you are relating to time right now, compared to the relationship with time you’d like to achieve. But how do you get from point A to point B?

First, evaluate what you learned about how you have been spending your time, and identify any activities that may be eating up more of your precious time than you want. Consider how you can limit (or even eliminate) these things, and think about what other meaningful activities could take their place. If you are feeling overwhelmed by juggling too many tasks at once, think about whether you can curtail or delegate some of your responsibilities (or say no to new opportunities for a while), and assess whether you could use time management techniques to balance your tasks better.

Depending on where you are in your life and how much structure you need, you might decide to implement a new planner or scheduling system for yourself, or you may decide you need a less rigid schedule and greater flexibility. Remember that time management choices are tools that can enable you to use and experience your time in a healthier, more meaningful way.

3. Do you want to set clear new years’ resolutions, or do you have general ideas for exploration in the new year? How can the relationship with time you envision for yourself support your goals or ideas in the new year?

In past years, Emilie has written about how clear-cut goals may not always be helpful, and identifying general themes for the new year can be more beneficial. Neil has also described the benefits of setting directions for yourself and using them as a guide to create smaller goals for yourself.

Before you even consider what goals or directions you might want to focus on in the new year, thinking about the impact of your past new years’ resolutions can be helpful for determining what type of resolution will benefit you this year. If structured, measurable goals have helped you in the past, it makes sense to continue using that format for yourself. But if you have found yourself feeling frustrated or disappointed after setting concrete goals in the past, you could try setting directions or identifying themes for this year. You may also want to come up with a mix of clear goals and general themes that support your different interests and professional and creative pursuits.

Now, the time has come to set your new years’ resolutions (or not)! Informed by what you have learned about your own relationship with time and how you want to improve it, you can now set healthy goals, directions, or themes for yourself in 2023. Based on my own relationship with time and my experiences with the let-down effect in 2022, I decided to set a mixture of concrete resolutions and general directions for the new year. Unsurprisingly, one of my themes for the new year involves being more intentional about how I spend my time!

Your turn

How could you cultivate a better relationship with time in your own life? How will time factor into your resolutions, directions, or themes for exploration in the new year? Scroll down and share your thoughts in the comments.

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we build lives and careers around ALL our passions.

Learn more and join the Puttyverse community here:

The post Befriending Time in The New Year appeared first on Puttylike.

The Antidote to Multipotentialite Burnout

Do you wear burnout as a badge of honor? Do you assume that burnout is inescapable for multipotentialites? After years of molding myself into a paragon of hustle culture, I’m retiring from the lifestyle. Instead of chasing more work until I work myself into a shame-fueled crisis, I have made a commitment to ending burnout in my multipotentialite life once and for all. Here’s why I want you to join me.

What is burnout, and where does it come from?

If you’re reading this, you have probably felt “burned out” yourself or heard others use a similar phrase. Emilie Wapnick has already provided us with a great exploration of multipotentialite burnout, so I’ll add my interpretation of the research on Freudenberger’s original 1974 conceptualization of burnout. You might be experiencing burnout when you feel:

Completely depleted of your normal energy reservesMentally distanced from your job, or increasingly concerned about avoiding negative outcomes more than achieving positive outcomes That you’re working harder and longer, but getting less done.

Emilie explains that multipotentialites are prone to experiencing burnout “more frequently and more intensely” because of “how passionately curious we are, and how easy it is for us to lose ourselves in our projects.” I appreciate Emilie’s phrasing here because it is authentic to the multipotentialite experience. 

In other spaces, I’ve seen burnout conceptualized as a problem for people who feel driven to take on too many things because of an unhealthy compulsion to achieve, a melancholy desire to escape their present-day reality, a burdensome sense of duty to share all their gifts, or a practical need to save for retirement. But the road to burnout doesn’t usually look like that for multipotentialites.

Most of the time, us multipotentialites are happily motivated to explore multiple interests simultaneously because of the many passions we possess at the same time. That leads to a lot of work—paid or otherwise. And, no matter how good it can feel to do that work, it puts us at a higher risk for burnout in the long run. 

It can be really difficult for us to find the right balance in our lives. I wonder if you’ve ever experienced anything like this:

I had finished writing an article about reaching a balance of pursuing multipotentialite interests that filled my cup without draining my soul. I declared my life to be a very good life. And it was! Then, almost immediately, my cup started to overflow.

“Escaping the Shame Spiral as a Multipotentialite“

I went from loving all of my work to feeling oppressed and overwhelmed by it, seemingly overnight. I hit burnout very hard that month, and it wasn’t the last time.

Jennifer Moss writes that the 6 root causes of burnout are:

Unsustainable workloadPerceived lack of controlInsufficient rewards for effortLack of a supportive communityLack of fairnessMismatched values and skills

Now here’s where I offer you a challenge: Will you wait until burnout compels you to take drastic—but temporary—actions to escape burnout one more time, or will you commit to something more permanent? If you’re staring down yet another exhausting, overwhelming episode of burnout right now, will you take a personal antidote to burnout that can banish it for life?

Psychological health & safety can prevent workplace burnout

When I looked at the 6 root causes of burnout, I noticed that they matched up nicely with 6 factors of workplace psychological health and safety. You might call these the 6 antidotes to burnout at work. 

Three of these antidotes—Organizational Culture, Psychological Protection, and Civility & Respect—are what I call systemic, institutional, or cultural antidotes. These are vitally important…and may be way above your pay grade. So today I want to focus on three personal antidotes that can help us recover from burnout, and keep it from coming back.

Personal Antidote #1: Workload Management

The antidote to an unsustainable workload is workload management. Imagine a life where you can say:

The amount of work I’m expected to do is reasonable for my position, and I can speak honestly with my supervisor about it.My work is free from unnecessary interruptions and disruptions.

When I’m navigating a crisis, I find it easier to create the conditions where these are true. I work up the nerve to have an honest conversation with my supervisor where I admit that I have too much on my plate. I ruthlessly cancel less-than-crucial meetings, and hang a sign outside my door that says that I am engaging in “deep work.” I finally start saying no to more paid work so that I can make room again to say yes to my hobbies.  And then I regain that beautiful multipotentialite balance once more. 

But I’m tired of relying on a crisis to finally do what’s necessary to make my workload manageable again. My personal goal for this antidote is to make these changes without needing a crisis to justify them. What’s one change you can make to manage the pace or volume of a multipotentialite workload that is burning you out?

Personal Antidote #2: Involvement & Influence

If your work life is feeling totally out of control, your antidote is involvement and influence. Here, your goal is to be able to say things like:

I have control over how my tasks and responsibilities are prioritized and organized.I am encouraged to participate in decisions that impact my work.

This can be tricky, whether you are your own boss or not. If someone else is in charge of your multipotentialite projects, look for articles about managing up, saying no, or setting boundaries at work. If you only report to yourself, the problem isn’t others making decisions for you. Instead, you might be feeling adrift trying to figure out where to begin among too many competing priorities. “What’s one prioritization strategy you can use to take back control of your multipotentialite life?”

Personal Antidote #3: Recognition & Reward

Feeling insufficiently rewarded for the effort you put into your work is an expressway to burnout. Its antidote is, unsurprisingly, recognition and reward. But let me tell you why this can be less straightforward for a multipotentialite.

If you’re anything like me, you probably have a complicated relationship with what it means to be “rewarded” for your effort. I still have a sign on my home office desk that says “If You Love What You Do, You’ll Never Work A Day In Your Life!” Many of us pursue multipotentialite passions for the intrinsic reward of doing them, and I meet way more undercover multipotentialites than ones who do it for some kind of award or recognition. But take a look at the statements that go along with this antidote:

I am paid fairly for the work I do.My employer—including my direct supervisor—shows appreciation for the effort, commitment, and passion I demonstrate for my work.My organization celebrates our shared accomplishments.

Can you see what might be causing the burnout for you? 

You may feel incredibly fulfilled by your multipotentialite pursuits, but you struggle to make ends meet. That requires an incredible amount of resilience that can wear on you after a while. Or maybe you have your basic financial needs covered, but you’re one of those undercover multipotentialites I mentioned: It may not come naturally to you to share what you create with the world because praise has never been important to you.  I want you to consider that there is something magical about allowing people to appreciate your gifts alongside you. 

Perhaps your multipotentialite talents have you feeling like a cog in the wheel who doesn’t get recognized for how much you contribute to another person’s final product. Or maybe you’re on a team or in a family that has always saved their praise for ‘big wins’. Your personal antidote is to celebrate your small wins and honor the effort you put into your multipotentialite projects, regardless of the final outcome.

How can you use your voice to ask for what you need?

Pursuing many kinds of work as a multipotentialite can be incredibly satisfying. But that satisfaction can be followed by a terrible amount of pain when we pursue the work at the expense of our health. We can stop getting caught in endless cycles of burnout and recovery when we pursue the prioritization of our psychological health and safety with the same zeal we bring to our multipotentialite passions. 

I’ve learned that taking bold actions to create the life we want involves taking equally bold actions to make it a healthy one. For you, this might mean using your voice in a new way to keep your workload manageable, prioritizing your projects, and ensuring that you are recognized for the value you bring to the world. 

Will you accept the challenge?

Your turn

Which burnout antidote will you take today? If you are a leader or decision-maker, how might you help other multi-passionate folks stop repeating endless cycles of burnout and recovery?

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and career around ALL our passions.

Learn more about the Puttyverse and get notified next time we open the doors:

The post The Antidote to Multipotentialite Burnout appeared first on Puttylike.

Holiday Sale on Puttylike! 40% Off My Multipotentialite Course, Guide & Workshop

Greetings, multipotentialite friends!

Well, it’s been a year.

I don’t know how your 2022 has been, but I’ve definitely had some major ups and downs and I’m very much looking forward to the new year!

But before we get to the resolutions and goal-setting, I have a holiday surprise to share with you. As a thank you and digital hug to my multipotentialite community, I’m running a holiday sale this week. Almost everything on Puttylike is 40% off for the next 72 hours!

If you’re ready to get serious about building a life around your many passions, you’re going to want to jump on this. I only run sales like this once a year.

And if there’s a certain multipotentialite in your life who could use a little help figuring out how to put it all together, these resources also make great gifts.

Grab Your Multipod Presents!

Use the code MULTIPODCHEER22 at checkout to get 40% off your order:

Multipotentialite Bundle: My popular trio of resources: Renaissance Business, How Multipotentialites Make Money and Multipod Productivity.Renaissance Business: A guide to help you combine your many interests into one multifaceted business.How Multipotentialites Make Money: A course to help you turn your many passions into a career you love.Multipod Productivity: A 60 minute workshop where I share strategies for getting stuff done when you’re feeling completely stuck and overwhelmed.

This 72 hour sale ends on Saturday December 17 at 9:30am EST, and the time flies by quickly, so don’t wait.

Wishing you lots of love and coziness this holiday season.

Your pal and fellow multipotentialite,

Emilie

p.s. That code again is MULTIPODCHEER22.

The post Holiday Sale on Puttylike! 40% Off My Multipotentialite Course, Guide & Workshop appeared first on Puttylike.

The Overthinker’s Guide to Getting Older

I like to think of myself as “good at self-reflection.” But I have several areas where I’m prone to overthinking, and one of them in particular has confused me lately: my birthday.

Having worked through some of this confusion, I want to share how I reframe some birthday anxieties—some common to everybody, and some that are particularly acute for multipotentialites. 

As a child, my birthday felt incredibly important. But it hasn’t seemed that way in a long time. These days, I rarely think about my age at all—and I have to actively calculate how old I am whenever I’m filling in a form.

However, for the first time in a long time, my age has become mildly remarkable. What I’m saying is: recently, my age, when measured in years, flipped to a number ending in zero. Which is an awkward way of saying that I just turned forty.

I’d like not to be so awkward about this, but I can’t help it. I’ve had an uncomfortable relationship with time for, well, a long time. And birthdays bring this tension out into the open, sometimes literally. Whenever someone congratulates me I can’t help squirming uncomfortably. 

If I try to address the source of my birthday-related discomfort, I’m immediately hit by several contradictory thoughts:

“Who cares about birthdays?! All time measurement is arbitrary! There’s nothing special about 365 days. Every day is a new age, why celebrate this one day in particular?! I should just ignore it!“

“But it’s nice to measure milestones. Birthdays help to see how far we’ve come, and to celebrate achievements, and to look ahead to the next milestone.“

“I could do that any day! What’s so special about a birthday?!”

“Well, yes… I could do it any day, but I don’t. And maybe what makes a birthday special is that it’s a day to do that kind of reflection.“

If I’m being honest, the actual conversation between my internal factions isn’t usually as civil or well-reasoned as I’m making it sound here. I simply experience a crushing emotional weight whenever I consider the concept of birthdays. Which means I avoid thinking about them unless I’m forced to by circumstances. (This, I am reliably informed, makes planning a party for me very difficult.)

It seems like I’ve reached a point in my life to face this discomfort head on. I’d like to understand the mystery of my internal resistance to celebrating—or even acknowledging—birthdays. And perhaps I can come up with a healthier way to reflect on future milestones when they inevitably come along.

Where resistance comes from

First, let me rule out the most obvious potential sources of this discomfort. I do like parties. I don’t mind being the center of attention. And I’m not concerned about either my ever-increasing age or my gradually increasing proximity to death. Seriously! Thanks to previous brushes with existential terror, I’ve learned to be comfortable with the idea that I’m somewhere between 40% and 99.9999% of the way through my life—and that I can’t know where I am in that range.

At times, I’ve even found engaging with these sorts of existential questions to be freeing. But this makes my resistance to birthdays even less explicable. Learning to live with death anxiety is supposed to make the celebration and enjoyment of life even more important – so shouldn’t I be better at celebrating my milestones?

I’m individual (just like everyone else)

There’s a part of me which is convinced that the passage of time doesn’t – and, more so, shouldn’t – matter at all, that I don’t need to mark it in any way, and that if I do dare to care about it that I’m somehow giving into societal pressure to be a certain way at a certain time. This part of me is very concerned that I shouldn’t conform to preconceived ideas of what it means to be twenty, thirty, forty, and so on.

The feeling is much the same as the one I’ve always had—and which other multipotentialites often describe—whenever people asked me “what job do you want when you get older?”

My hatred of being put in a box is strong. It drove me to create a unique career path for myself! So, it’s not surprising that I react negatively to the idea that my life is supposed to conform to certain expectations based on my age.

Although, it’s funny exactly how my rejection of conformity manifests in this case. I can see how rejecting standard career paths could (arguably) make me seem interesting, but when it comes to birthdays my subconscious is basically throwing a mini-tantrum. ‘Oh I’m “supposed” to have my life together by forty, am I?! Well, let me shock you: I have NO idea what I’m doing, and I don’t intend to start now!’ This doesn’t seem like a very helpful line of thought! However, it’s not completely irrational. These two examples of nonconformity are actually connected. The overarching life choices made by multipotentialites mean that life milestones could appear to be delayed—or consciously avoided forever!—compared to other people.

It makes sense that forging a unique career path could  be slower to achieve stability. While most of my friends were getting jobs, learning the ropes, getting promoted, I was struggling to establish myself as a writer, public speaker, and freelance software developer, each of which required a ton of effort just to gain an initial foothold.

It’s never too late

Birthdays are an inevitable reminder that life is both infinitely full of interesting things and distressingly finite in length. Reflecting over the passage of time brings both celebration of accomplishments and regret over everything that I missed out on doing. Naturally, the list of missed opportunities is much longer. It’s impossible to avoid asking “is it too late?” or “have I missed my chance?”

When I get these dark birthday thoughts, I remind myself that if I’m capable of worrying about it being too late, then it’s still not technically too late. That isn’t to say that all options are always available – the nature of being alive is that options gradually reduce. But we always have multiple options, and I find that that’s generally enough for me.

I don’t have to always have every option available to be happy – just more than one. I find the lack of any choice scarier than any particular choice, so reminding myself that the future is still full of mystery and possibility tends to reduce the fear of being too late.

How to reflect on the passing of time

Now that I’ve finally allowed myself to directly consider the topic of aging and birthdays, it’s becoming clearer which thoughts are helpful, and which are not. For my own future reference—and yours!—here’s a list of ways to reframe some common birthday anxieties:

I’m x years old and I haven’t done y.

Instead, try:

I’m x years old, and I haven’t done y… yet.I’m x years old, and I don’t need to do y if I don’t really want to.I’m x years old, and I’ll try y next. Or do something else instead!Oh god it’s my birthday again. That was fast. I’m doomed.

Instead, try:

Hey, I made it through another year. Great!Reflect on accomplishments – however small.Don’t dwell on failures or things not attempted. Focus instead on something to attempt next.I’m x years old, and my life still isn’t together.

Instead, try:

Life will never be “fully sorted.” And it would be boring if it were.Don’t compare your life against others. Comparison is only useful if it inspires you to positive action. Otherwise, it’s yet another waste of time.

Thinking over all this I feel much more relaxed about birthdays than ever before. With hindsight, it would have been useful to have performed these reflections before my fortieth birthday, so I could have planned a proper party without just feeling awkward about it.

Still, everyone knows life begins at 41. See you next year.

Your turn

How do you like to celebrate the age milestones you’ve reached? Do you feel like birthdays are different for you as a multipotentialite? Share your thoughts with the community in the comments.

The post The Overthinker’s Guide to Getting Older appeared first on Puttylike.

5 Steps to Recreate Your Space Today

Have you ever felt that urge to move all of your furniture so everything feels fresh and new? Sure, rearranging furniture might be a great way to procrastinate (while still feeling productive), but the impulse to move everything around can also signal that your space isn’t serving you as well as it could.

As a multipotentialite, you might use the same space for a wide variety of projects, hobbies, or different types of work, and you need a space that fulfills the needs of each one. Or maybe you’ve recently shifted focus, and you want to create a room that will support your new creative or professional endeavors.

I recently decided to completely recreate my space, a process that involved a combination of rethinking, reorganizing, and redecorating the entire room to be more functional and aesthetically pleasing.

From beginning to end, this process led me from a small space that didn’t particularly foster creativity or productivity to a cozy room that promotes an efficient workflow while also supporting spontaneous creativity. As a bonus, I also ended up with a welcoming home studio space that I am confident will foster artistic growth and collaboration! Here’s what I came up with:

If you’re ready to make some changes to your space—whether it’s a walk-in closet or a penthouse suite—here are five steps to help guide you through the process. Hopefully these ideas will enable you to see your space in a whole new light and create a space that you end up loving!

1. Determine the scope of your project

To avoid unnecessary frustration, overwhelm, or disappointment, be sure to think through some of the basic logistics of your project first. Consider which factors you can’t currently change about the space, like its size and what furniture needs to remain in the room. If you share a room or apartment with someone else, also consider how that individual uses nearby spaces, within the same room or neighboring rooms.

Also think about what budget (if any) you want to dedicate to the project. Depending on your goals for the project, moving things around to create a fresh, organized feel might meet your needs, without any expense beyond your mental and physical effort. Also, keep in mind that the goal is to make your space better for you right now, and what you do with the space today is not all that you can ever do with it!

2. Seek out inspiration based on your goals

Now for one of the fun parts: seeking out sources of inspiration to help you reimagine your space. This can include scrolling through Pinterest, checking out ideas from magazines, or paying attention to elements of rooms you encounter in person that you really like.

In my case, my goals included creating a home studio space that would be cozy and welcoming while also providing me with an improved workflow for audio production. I wanted sufficient space in the middle of the room to do yoga, and that that open area would also serve as a space for mic stands, music stands, or other easily movable equipment to be set up depending on the project. I sorted through my Pinterest pins to see which ones I thought I could potentially replicate in my space. I also looked up pictures of other artists’ home studios for ideas about workflow and how to set up my space in an aesthetically pleasing but efficient way.

3. Map it all out

Some smaller reorganization projects can be done through a process of trial and error, organizing your space in different ways and seeing what will work for you. But if you’ll be moving any furniture or other heavy or delicate objects, it makes the most sense to make a rough map of where you want everything to go. In the case of larger furniture items, like desks, tables, or sofas, measure each of the furniture items and get a sense for how they will fit in their new locations. There are also plenty of great interior design resources to help you make the most of the space that you are working with, so that it can reflect your style as effectively as possible.

4. Make your moves!

Once you have a fairly strong sense of where you want the pieces in your space to go, it’s time to start moving them. As best you can, set aside some time to focus on this project when you won’t need to be using the space for its primary intended purpose(s). This planning helps to prevent introducing unneeded frustration into your work or home life or making the process of recreating your space stressful. If you’ve moved furniture in a room after it has been in its previous position for a while, you know that these efforts can be almost immediately rewarding and provide you with a totally new perspective in relation to your space.

5. Make it your own

At this point, your space will likely already be feeling fresh and new, and you are hopefully happy with how it’s turning out so far! After moving your larger items and rearranging any furniture, you will be ready to put the finishing touches on your space. This can include decorating (or redecorating) the walls, arranging any smaller items within your shelves or on top of tables, and adding any new decor that you have in mind. This process can also be fluid and continue beyond your initial reorganizing process, as you continue to find little items or decor pieces that speak to you or will help you feel more at home in your newly personalized space!

Why should I bother to recreate my space?

If you already have a “decent enough” space to work, relax, or create in, you might feel like going to the effort to reorganize or redecorate isn’t worth it. If you already love the way your space is set up, it effectively meets your needs, and it represents elements of who you are as an individual, chances are that you have already successfully created a great space for yourself. Congrats! But, if your room currently leaves a bit (or a lot) to be desired, there are a few reasons to consider recreating that space so that it can serve you better.

Harness aesthetics to benefit your mental health

Psychological research (and collective personal experience) indicates that interior design can have a real impact on our mental wellbeing. This aspect of interior design can be especially meaningful if you find yourself experiencing a sense of frustration about your current housing and/or workspace situation. Reorganizing and redecorating an area for your own benefit, no matter how large or small, can allow you to regain a sense of ownership over your current space, making it a better setting to foster interior transformation as well.

In making helpful adjustments to your room or workspace, you can create an area that better serves you. But the process of reorganizing can also help to alleviate the possibility for your space to be an added source of stress or frustration. By creating more of a dedicated space for yourself, you will hopefully find it easier to arrive at a calmer mindset and cultivate a greater sense of inner peace. If you’re considering making a transformation to your workspace, the effects of aesthetic considerations can actually have a similar impact on your psychological wellbeing by enabling you to approach your tasks from a more positive place, mentally and physically.

You don’t need to wait for the “perfect” space

It can be easy (and fun) to dream about the aesthetically and functionally perfect space that you hope to inhabit sometime in the future. But if all you’re doing is daydreaming about your potential future space, you’re probably doing a disservice to your current space (and yourself) right now. 

I’ll admit it: when I moved back in with my mom during the pandemic, I spent some time creating a formidable Pinterest board with ideas for my ideal future apartment or townhouse. While this was fun at first, it ultimately didn’t make me feel great about my current space in comparison with the perfectly-styled interiors I was seeing. If you also feel yourself drawn to this type of unattainable perfection, the act of recreating your current space may help you to enter into a more positive relationship with your space—and maybe even with your current life circumstances.

Express appreciation for where you are now

While my space didn’t quite stack up against Pinterest standards, I was incredibly grateful to have a safe and comforting place to live during such an unpredictable global crisis. Reorganizing or redecorating your space can serve as an act of gratitude for the place where you currently live and/or work. While you can certainly keep imagining your perfect future spaces, there is something powerful about cultivating a renewed sense of ownership over the living situation or workspace you have right now. Taking the time to clean, organize, and decorate your current space can be an expression of thankfulness for having a safe and reliable place to stay, even when it might not meet the criteria for your “ideal” space.

Your turn

Do you have a space that you want to recreate in some way, or have you undertaken a similar project in the past? How do you think making changes to that area could impact your daily life? Share your thoughts with the community below!

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we build lives and careers around ALL our passions.

Learn more and join the Puttyverse community here:

The post 5 Steps to Recreate Your Space Today appeared first on Puttylike.

Dear Puttylike: How Do I Choose a Course of Study?

Welcome to Dear Puttylike, where our team of writers tackles your burning multipotentialite questions! Submissions are edited for length and clarity.

Dear Puttylike,

It has always been my dream to become an academic and help future generations of students discover their interests and talents. Now that I am close to graduation, I have been given the option of applying for a PhD.

Throughout my studies I have diversified my degree, borrowing from almost all fields of the humanities. I studied art, material culture, several languages, religion and culture, psychology, anthropology, history and even learned programming. As a result, I have no idea which field I want to proceed into for the next four to seven years as I write a dissertation for a PhD I have yet to select. None of my mentors and advisors can help me, having never taught (or realized they taught) a multipod.

How do I choose a PhD when my interests and talents are all spread out like this?

Rory

Dear Rory,

Congratulations on your almost-graduation! This is a big moment to celebrate— and to reflect on what’s to come. Your strengths, achievements and inclination will all carry you through your PhD decision, as well as surviving your studies for the next few years. 

As a fellow academic multipotentialite, who has followed a very similar academic trajectory, I want you to first know that I hear your fears and concerns, loud and clear. It is very important for a budding academic to name their insecurities like you have done here. This not only shows forethought, but also acknowledges that academic journeys are often full of questions and crippling self-doubt. It can be even more difficult for multipotentialites, as we are constantly balancing our capabilities, interests and performance. 

You’ll need to examine a number of factors while deciding on a discipline. The first step is to acknowledge them, and you have already done that!

Make your degree a choice, not a compulsion

One of the toughest tasks of being in academia is planning for your future while also contributing to the field you are working in. You are expected to carry out both of these tasks while dealing with the pressure of deadlines, chapter submissions, being a TA and grading assignments. Depending on which part of the world you are from, organizing funds and allocating savings towards doctoral research also adds to the stress if your PhD is not adequately funded.

The first step I urge you to take is to be completely sure that a PhD is the path you would like to pursue for the next few years. If the thought itself is daunting, it’s ok to consider taking time off to align your focus and vision with your interests.

You might zoom out and see that your area of your interest doesn’t require academic intervention, as much as it requires groundwork and being in the field. If that is the case, then you don’t want to find yourself knee-deep in course work two years later, regretting a hasty decision to pursue a PhD. Take your time and think it over. It’s perfectly fine if it’s not for you.

Play to your strengths when zeroing in on a discipline

If you are clear that the academic route of earning a PhD is your goal, then your first step towards arriving at clarity needs to be finding your discipline at large. This choice needs to come from your strengths and not your fears. If you are confident about your discipline of choice, then narrowing down to a specific subject area becomes easier. If this doesn’t come easily or naturally, here are two tricks that have helped me and other multipods in academia:

Sleep on your decision for a week—minimum

While being a multipotentialite constitutes trying different things and living with various aspirations—some fulfilled and some unfulfilled—a PhD is a strictly monogamous commitment with very little leeway in terms of pursuing other things on the side, as much as a puttyperson ideally does. It means you’ll need to be sure about your choice, and also about the availability of the support and resources you will need while you are pursuing it. 

You might see a certain academic you are keen to work with under one discipline but if another discipline interests you more, then narrow your discipline choice decision from the point of view of your interest. 

Make flow charts, ask yourself difficult questions. Would you like to do 12 hours of research and writing on that discipline in one day? Eliminate the options that don’t hold your interest. If studying history is a hobby, for example, it may make sense to keep it as a passion project as opposed to dedicating your life towards it for half a decade. 

Ask yourself, What would would I like to  master?

During your PhD, you’ll be reminded of the fact that nobody knows your discipline and focus area better than you do. So, go backwards! Trace what fuels your obsession and find what you know better than anyone else you know.

As multipotentialites, of course, we are experts at several things. So look at  your subjects, pick what excites you the most, and try to imagine who you’d become if you gained a very deep knowledge that area. Then, try it again with something else! You are, at the end of the day, going to contribute to your field of research. Unless you feel confident about your choice of specialization, this journey won’t be easy.

Your PhD proposal idea should fit your multipotentialite personality

There are several interdisciplinary subjects and fields to choose from including combining history and languages, or religion and anthropology, among others. When you think through your preferences, ask yourself if it’s possible to combine and find a focal point for your interests to coalesce. Can you work through a PhD proposal that combines your many interests and your ability to think through them all? Chances are, you’ll arrive at something wholly unique and intriguing to work on.

When I was between graduate school and PhD in academia, I obsessed over Network and Platform Studies in New Media and ended up focusing on those aspects during my PhD in Cinema Studies. As a multipod, this branch (also known as intermediality) was extremely useful, as it helped combine my interests. While it was a great fit for my curious temperament, I also knew I was a master of these specific subjects. I knew I wanted to focus my attention on pursuing new research in the field, and that I had the passion and knowledge to do so.

If you’re at a loss as to how different areas of study might fit together, see what others are doing. It can be helpful to go through university websites and review the research topics listed for the scholars pursuing PhD. You’re sure to see some unique examples of interdisciplinary fields.

Writing to help simplify your decision

Attempting a PhD proposal is just the first step to entering the nebulous world of academia. If you choose to move forward, you will share your unique contribution into a discipline that many before you have participated in. Over time, you will also highlight your discoveries to the world. So, you and your PhD will be  inseparable for the foreseeable future. 

If you lay out all of your interests in front of you, you may have a sense that you like them all equally. In my experience, writing a page on why a certain subject is compelling to you will help you more closely understand what it is that you truly value. 

I want to share my academic roadmap with you to help you understand how I played this decision to my multipotentialite strengths. I have dabbled  in Philosophy, Commerce, Filmmaking, Publishing, Content Creation, Digital Marketing, Bass Playing and even writing erotica but the heart of all my interests—my overarching theme—has always been storytelling. As I considered my PhD, I knew I wanted to hone my writing skills, and that a research degree in cinema would sharpen my storytelling and writing abilities. 

When you put your thoughts into words on screen and paper, you’ll see how some take shape better than others. If an idea or proposal comes together easily, with sharp outlines, this may be the moment for you to latch onto clarity and arrive at a conclusion for your area of work.

Beat the stress

If you, like me, are a first generation academic and a multipod at that, you might know how challenging it can be not to have an external partner to bounce ideas off of. What helps in times like these is keeping your cool and taking time out. It also helps to reach out to teachers, guides, mentors and professors across disciplines. And, of course, other multipotentialite academics and will have invaluable experiences to share.

As a multipod, I have found a lot of clarity and help from my academic guides over the years, across disciplines. Whoever helps you come to clarity with your best interests at heart is your go-to person, whether it’s a grandparent or a friend. Sometimes, a chat with a family member can trigger you and fuel passion for something you didn’t even know you were keen on pursuing. Look out for those conversations that help you with ideas and deductions about your future.

Your PhD is a stepping stone, not an end goal

If you are struggling to come to terms with choosing a discipline, it might be worthwhile to think of taking a year or two to work within the preferred fields and get a better understanding of your academic and professional preferences, and see if you would like to align them or not. 

PhD is a serious decision and if it means you pursue working in a discipline of your choice to arrive at the final answer, it might be worth a shot to explore it. 

All research degrees require a research proposal as a starting point. If you need work experience to arrive at a research proposal in your discipline, it is worthwhile to defer your application and proposal by a year or two to acquire the relevant work experience. 

Good luck making your decision! I’m sure that with time and consideration you’ll make the right choice for you.

Your turn

Have you ever struggled to pick one academic discipline over another? Share your personal experiences to help Rory and others in the community in the comments below.

Is there something that’s getting in the way of you living your best multipotentialite life? Got a puzzling productivity challenge or career quandary? Is there a particular family member who won’t accept your many facets? Or maybe you have a more general question about multipotentialites and how we move through the world? Send your “Dear Puttylike” questions to advice@puttylike.com

The post Dear Puttylike: How Do I Choose a Course of Study? appeared first on Puttylike.

A Month of Living Fearlessly

How often do you follow your own advice?

I write a lot about living the good life as a multipotentialite with more confidence, plenty of self-acceptance, and fewer apologies. Almost all of my articles have to do with overcoming some sort of fear that keeps us from living authentically. But this month, I wanted to spotlight how I was doing at taking my own advice.

I asked myself: How often do I allow fear to take the reins in my life?

When I conceptualized my month of fearless living, I imagined myself striding into business meetings, making eye contact with everyone in sight, shaking hands vigorously or fist-bumping with zest. I pictured myself laughing louder than what I was taught was polite, taking up space, winking at strangers… And then I woke up. Because none of that was ever actually going to happen. Those things aren’t, and might never be, authentically me. My version of living fearlessly looked a lot quieter than I’d first pictured, but it was no less scary than I imagined.  

As you read this article, know that you get to decide what is living fearlessly in your own life (freeing and fruitful!) versus what is living recklessly (dangerous and destructive).  It’s not about anyone else’s judgement about the intensity or audacity of the fearless acts you choose to pursue. Choose your brand of fearless living, then share what you learned…if you  dare!

Welcome to my diary of a month of fearless living.

Living fearlessly at work meant reclaiming my time

I didn’t need to change my personality or leadership style to be more fearless at work, because I am pretty close to my authentic self there. I am incredibly fortunate to have great teams and great bosses at all of my current jobs, so fear doesn’t keep me from doing too many things I secretly want to do. A lot of my work roles involve educating, supporting, or advocating for others, and I find it easy to be fearless in service of other people’s goals, so I didn’t need to make big changes there.

What’s much scarier for me is advocating for my own needs, so that’s what I focused on changing this month. I asked for funding (got it!), pitched two passion projects (approved!), and…um…I worked normal hours.

As an elder millennial, it really makes me cringe to admit to you that I work more hours than I’m supposed to. I can’t decide if it’s more of a cliché or a humblebrag to say that as a team lead, I am the first one to tell my team to “go home!” at the end of the day, yet I am usually the one who leaves the office last. But it’s the truth. So for one month, I lived fearlessly by regularly being the first to leave the office. I’m embarrassed to share this, but I’m writing it down for those of you who also struggle with taking responsibility for more than is necessary.

The results of advocating for my needs and protecting my time at work were pretty impressive: I felt relaxed, focused and, well, pleasant. I got all my work done. I wondered where I had found so much time. To my great relief, no one accused me of not working hard enough.

Showing your authentic self at work as a multipotentialite

I learned that my biggest fear at work is my supervisor thinking I don’t work hard enough. As a child, my favourite subject was math because most of it felt intuitive. I quickly learned, however, that I would lose marks if I didn’t “show my work.” This idea of showing my work has permeated into all areas of my life. As Kay Glass points out, multipotentialite brains work really quickly—sometimes to the point of leaving others behind! When I do a task quickly, folks have sometimes taken it to mean that I don’t care enough about what I am doing. I’ve preemptively responded to this at work by adopting an approach that my high school math teacher called “logging the hours.”

As multipotentialites, we care about a lot of things! But we also want to do a lot of things, and that involves being efficient with our time. When we work in spaces that expect us to show our work, some of us have adapted to multipotentialite-unfriendly environments by logging the hours to show that we care just as much as everyone else.

Maybe my next fearless act should be an honest conversation with my supervisors about that.

Living fearlessly at play meant believing in myself

Unlike at work, I don’t always feel the same sense of trust and support in some of my recreational activities. This is not because I play in spaces full of mean people. Some of them are new to me, and some of them are (necessarily, healthily) competitive environments—like a local community theatre group I recently auditioned for.

When I got the part that I wanted in their latest musical theatre production, fear (aka imposter syndrome) tried to tell me that it was a great miracle that I got the part at all, considering my brief musical theatre resume. My part had once been played by the great Whitney Houston, so I was tempted to keep my head down and do my best to look like I knew exactly what I was doing.

Making your voice heard

But, because this was my month of living fearlessly, I gave myself permission to ask a lot more questions than I normally would about my character in the musical. Normally I worry that asking too many questions makes me sound annoying or look incompetent, but I resolved to lean into curiosity in order to overcome my tendency to feel self-conscious. I also spoke up when I didn’t understand my director’s instructions…several times. I tried on costumes and gave my opinion about which ones I thought did and didn’t fit my character.

Even writing this makes me uncomfortable because I am already worried about how using my voice in this way makes me appear! Do I seem arrogant? Do I sound like a diva? I did say that my character was played by Whitney Houston. In reality, everything was fine and I have not been replaced by another actor. My director answered my questions, the costume designer took my notes, and my scene partner and I had a lot of fun playing off each other.

Overcoming fear by trusting your intuition

I guess the jury is still out on whether living fearlessly benefitted me in the long run. Only time will tell whether my approach makes directors want to work with me again! I learned that—as much as I talk about the benefits of living unapologetically—I still want to be liked and accepted by my communities. While I can trust myself to speak up if my safety or integrity is at risk, I will still sacrifice my voice in lower-stakes situations if I don’t stay mindful.

In the short term, I’m very glad I asked so many questions. The answers gave me a deep understanding of my character that I’m excited to play with, refine, and get feedback on as we keep rehearsing. I want to contribute to a truly magical experience for the audience (and perhaps make my director cry…in a good way)! I’m happy that I shared my perspective when asked for my opinions. I learned that when people who I haven’t known very long ask my opinion, I fear missing the social cue that I was not actually supposed to answer honestly.  

I expected to be more afraid about being found out as an amateur, but I learned that my much bigger fear is about being labelled as difficult to work with. That would impact future opportunities to work with great people doing the hobbies that make my multipotentialite life so richly fulfilling. I realized that I have to trust in what I do well. I can’t control what everyone thinks of me, but I can show my humanity to others and hope that the good outweighs the annoying.

What does living fearlessly look like to you?

The fears that I uncovered this month looked so different than I expected. My month of living fearlessly ended up being about showing myself more love and respect by being vulnerable enough to name what I really needed from others…and from myself. I learned that you don’t have to become a different person if you want to live more fearlessly. You might just need to be brave enough to ask for or take what you need in order to come deeper into who you secretly know yourself to be—then dare yourself to show it to the world.

Your turn

How could you benefit from a month of living more fearlessly? What impact do you think it might have on your life as a multipotentialite?

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and career around ALL our passions.

Learn more about the Puttyverse and get notified next time we open the doors:

The post A Month of Living Fearlessly appeared first on Puttylike.

Elevate Your To-Do List with a WON’T DO List

I have a love/hate relationship with lists.

Lists appear in every facet of my life. There’s a long list of places I want to visit someday. I’ve got a list of TV shows I’ll get around to watching eventually. There’s another for emails I ought to send. And, of course, my days are dominated by constant interactions with my ever-changing To-Do list.

Most of the time, my list addiction doesn’t cause any problems. Each of these lists evolved as a solution to a problem, and they mostly work well for me. But each list also has a tendency to accumulate items which inflict repeated psychic damage on me each time I take a glance.

This accumulation of undone items causes a constant low-level friction which grinds away at my motivation and gradually inflates my background guilt. I want to explore where the worst of these items arise from, and then I’m going to share the most powerful way I’ve found so far to banish them—and the related guilt—forever.

The danger of “coulds” that become “shoulds”

The origin of most of these accumulated items is no mystery. I simply write down something I’d like to do with the expectation that I’ll get around to it at some point. 

Generally these are small tasks, like fix dripping tap, and the reality is that I’ll either do them eventually or not. The nature of these little tasks is that it doesn’t matter too much either way.

But the more dangerous and insidious items on my To-Do list are different. These aren’t little improvements I could either make or live without. They’re potential ambitions which have morphed from could into should without my noticing.

Have you ever started to believe you ought to do something, just because it’s theoretically possible that you could? This happens to me quite a lot, most often after I’ve been inspired by somebody else. For example, a friend might make a cool album of electronic music in their home studio, and I start to imagine doing the same. I mentally picture the fun of buying some equipment and learning to use the software. I imagine making a few tracks and sharing them. Maybe I start to envisage the cover art… and, before I know it, “Make an album” has ended up sitting on my To-Do List.

From then on, every time I glance at my list to see what I need to do today, I’ll be greeted by this hefty, intimidating task. Unfortunately, the initial fun of the fantasy has been replaced by inertia, and a sense that I should probably make some progress… soon. But part of me knows, or believes, that I won’t. And the belief that simply keeping this task on my list may be a way of lying to myself makes me feel guilty.

This process repeats. Before long, every time I look at my list I’m greeted by an ever-accumulating pile of potential projects, each of which whispers to me that I’m a fraud who never makes any progress.

Clearly, this isn’t the emotional relationship I’d like to have with an everyday item like my To-Do list. But what can be done about it?

From To-Do to Won’t-Do

Generally, once I get sufficiently fed up with a list reaching this guilt-inducing state, I give up: throw the list out and start again from scratch. This eliminates the painful jabs every time I open the list, but it feels like an incomplete solution. Lately I’ve been wondering about being more proactive when clearing my metaphorical desk, and this has led me to explore the concept of a Won’t-Do List.

A Won’t-Do List is exactly what it sounds like: a physical list of things that I have no intention of doing. At first this idea may sound silly, or even impossible – after all, the list of things I’m not going to do is infinitely long.

But the act of consciously choosing to recategorize a task from “I’ll get around to this eventually” to “You know what? I’m never going to do this” is freeing. This makes writing a Won’t-Do List emotionally different from simply throwing out a stressful To-Do list. Instead of an admission of defeat, writing a Won’t-Do List is the opposite: I’m actively releasing myself from commitments.

Some of these releases come easily. Sometimes an item has been on my To-Do list for so long that there’s nothing but relief when I finally acknowledge to myself that I’m simply not going to do it. But sometimes letting go of a task involves admitting that I’ve been deluding myself.

For example, I might have to admit that “making an album” was never something I truly wanted. Consciously analyzing it may lead to the realization that I just thought something would be cool in a passing way and then spent a year feeling guilty about never actually doing it. If I’m honest, this process of letting go makes me feel a little silly, but it’s also hugely relieving to recognize that the Won’t-Do List is the correct place for certain tasks or projects.

Making a Won’t-Do list

Theoretically, a “Won’t-Do” list would be infinitely long. For example, I’m never going to be an astronaut or a professional athlete. But there’s not much point in writing either of those down, so I suggest only adding items that are specifically useful to let go of.

Here are some indicators that an item could be a good candidate to feature on your Won’t-Do List:

A task which has been nagging at you for a long time without there ever being enough motivation to start or make progress.Any unnecessary tasks which you only consider doing because other people think you ought to.Anything you can’t realistically do. It’s never easy to let go of an ambition, but if it’s genuinely not possible then it may be better to release yourself from the idea than to torture yourself with an impossible dream.Any task where the thought of letting go of it brings nothing but relief.Anything we used to want to do, but no longer want. Sometimes our present selves can feel bound to stick to something just because our past self wanted it. But we can choose to let go of old desires.Some surprising benefits of a Won’t-Do list

Along with shrinking our To-Do lists and removing those insidious guilt-inducing shoulds, there are some additional advantages to creating a Won’t-Do list.

For example, I found that removing my Won’t-Dos provided a real energy boost for my other projects. I could feel a clear emotional contrast between the items I moved to my Won’t-Do list and those that remained on the To-Do list. One such contrast was that getting rid of the pretend desire to “make an album” affirmed that “write another book” is a genuine and real desire. This makes me feel inspired to go and actually work on it.

Furthermore, one of my persistent self-criticisms is that I’m too easily seduced by new ideas. But I found that consciously listing things that I’m not going to do dampened that particular inner criticism. It proved to me that, despite what I sometimes believe, I’m not actually interested in everything completely equally. As silly as it may sound, it felt good to recognize that some of my passions are deeper than others. Writing my Won’t Do List brought clarity to my current priorities, in a way which I didn’t expect.

It doesn’t even have to be a list

Even as a confessed lover of lists, I must acknowledge that they’re not always thrilling. And I will admit that writing a Won’t-Do list could sound like quite a negative, depressing suggestion.

Luckily, the power of this technique isn’t in the format of the list, it’s in the act of making conscious decisions to decline possibilities. This means we don’t have to write a literal list. Instead, we could make the process fun and creative, perhaps by writing an “I Won’t Do These” poem. Or a song. Or a series of doodles.

Personally, I found it freeing enough to just move items from my To-Do list to a new Won’t-Do List. But I do like the idea of making it a creative act in itself. Maybe I’ll try that next time.

However you choose to engage with the idea, I can vouch from experience that spending a short amount of time writing a Won’t Do-List can be inspirational, and it has helped to re-engage me with all of the projects I do truly want to do. And one thing I’ll definitely aim to Not Do is to allow my To-Dos to accumulate guilt-inducing shoulds ever again.

Your turn

What don’t you want to do? Could writing a Won’t-Do list help you to free up some mental and emotional energy? Scroll down and share your stories and ideas with the community in the comments.

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we build lives and careers around ALL our passions.

Learn more and join the Puttyverse community here:

The post Elevate Your To-Do List with a WON’T DO List appeared first on Puttylike.

A New Moon Ritual for Multipotentialites

Whether you believe that the activities of the Moon actually affect us or not, they can give us a useful framework for having regular check-ins with ourselves.

The Moon shows us a different face every day (or night) but the major phases that astrology enthusiasts take note of are: the Dark Moon, New Moon, First Quarter, Full Moon and Last Quarter. (Pro tip: the quarters are actually what we often refer to as a “half Moon,” because even though we see half a circle, we mustn’t forget the hidden face of the Moon!). Each phase is associated with a particular energy, which can be utilized to help us mere mortals bring meaning, order and magic to our lives. 

The New Moon occurs when the Sun and Moon align, making the Moon almost invisible to us here on Earth. According to Astrostyle—my favourite astrology site, run by twins Ophi and Tali—New Moons can be seen as a lunar reset, and are “ultra powerful moments to set intentions, start fresh and begin projects anew.” So how can we harness this energy without getting too witchy? Here’s a simple New Moon Ritual, perfect for skeptics and crystal hoarders alike!

Step 1: Make time

For a lot of us, one of the main barriers to prioritizing self-care and personal growth is that we simply run out of time! This is why it can be helpful to schedule this ritual—and other self-care—in your calendar. Take a few minutes to check the Moon phases for the rest of the year, and on each New Moon block out a couple of hours in your diary. Resist the temptation to cancel on yourself when other things come up. Think of this as your non-negotiable wellness appointment, once every Moon.

Step 2: Create a healing space

When doing any wellness activity, the importance of your environment cannot be overstated. Especially if you work from home, creating a distinct space for this ritual is important, to psychologically separate it from other activities. We don’t all have the space for a dedicated healing room in our homes (we can dream!), but even the simple act of moving to a specific corner in your room, setting up cushions and blankets, and lighting a candle is enough. Put your phone on silent and make sure you won’t be disturbed. Add other touches like crystals, relaxing music or incense if that feels good for you.

Step 3: Breathe!

Start by closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths to relax your body. You can say a prayer or practice a meditation if either of those come naturally to you. But otherwise, just taking some deep breaths is enough. Do this for at least 3 minutes and move onto the next step whenever you’re ready.

Step 4: Reflect

Take some time to reflect on the last month. If you make this a regular practice, you’ll be reflecting on all that’s happened since your last ritual. This reflection can take the form of journaling, but it doesn’t have to. You can record a voice note, speak to yourself out loud or simply get lost in thought. Specifically, reflect on what has gone well and what hasn’t gone so well.

Step 5: Project

Now, fast forward to the next New Moon. See yourself sitting in this same spot, doing this same ritual. What kinds of things do you hope you’ll be saying? What do you want to have achieved? What do you want to have let go of? This is an opportunity to intuit which of your many multipotentialite desires are most in need of your energy and attention right now. Don’t be alarmed if something you thought was important doesn’t come up at all in this moment—take this as guidance.

Step 6: Fill in the gap

What needs to happen in the next few weeks for you to get from where you are now to where you saw yourself in that projection? It can be helpful to write this out as a bullet point list.

Step 7: Set an intention

Now, looking over this list, set ONE intention that will help you to achieve these wishes. That’s right, just the one! For example, maybe you can ace everything on the list if you get better at setting boundaries. Or maybe taking more time for rest will do the trick. Perhaps it’s asking for help. Whatever it is, insert it into this New Moon Intention Statement:

This Moon (or ‘This month’ if you prefer), I am [enter your intention here].

Be sure to write it in the present tense and with conviction, so “I am setting stronger boundaries and enforcing them,” rather than “I am going to get better at setting boundaries, maybe, if it’s not too hard.”

Make sure to give this intention the limelight it needs so that it can be a daily reminder. You could write it on a sticky note, make it your phone background or record yourself saying it and set it as your alarm. Whatever you do, don’t forget all about it until the next New Moon…!

A New Moon Ritual isn’t a silver bullet for making all of your wishes come true (sorry). But it can create an important space for pause and give you the boost you need to refocus on some of the softer skills that make you such an effective multipotentialite. Who knows, after a few Moons it might become one of your favourite monthly commitments!

Your turn

How do you mark the passage of time and check in with your priorities? Have you ever worked with Moon phases in this way? We’d love to hear your experiences in the comments!

The post A New Moon Ritual for Multipotentialites appeared first on Puttylike.

Why It’s Okay to Abandon Some of Your Goals

Just over a year ago, I had recently graduated from college and was planning to begin graduate school. I accepted a place to begin my Master of Philosophy degree at the University of Oxford, a move that would likely mark the beginning of a path to a career in academia. I had never considered academia as a career option until my junior year of college, but I loved my philosophy and neuroscience classes and could already envision tons of opportunities to expand on my senior thesis research. I worked so hard throughout college, especially during a full year of virtual classes due to the pandemic, and it felt like my efforts were paying off.

I was absolutely thrilled about the prospect of attending Oxford—an opportunity that would require me to leave my home in the US and relocate to the UK. Until I wasn’t.

As I got closer to actually relocating, I began to feel increasing stress and doubt about what I was doing. Even though I had received scholarships, I would still need a loan to attend. The prospect of that debt made me increasingly anxious as I tried to weigh whether the experience and education would be worth it. The physical process of beginning to pack my bags brought the reality of the situation into clearer focus, since I wouldn’t be able to bring most of my musical instruments with me. I must have realized that much earlier in the planning process, but the visceral gut reaction I experienced while packing totally caught me off guard. I remember thinking, I’m making this huge move, but I’m leaving what’s most important to me behind.

I suddenly realized that, literally and figuratively, pursuing my goal at the time was leading me to move away from some of the most important parts of my identity.

Instead of going to Oxford, I stayed in the US and worked in retail for about a year. My career experiences during this time ended up being valuable, and my job enabled me to earn money while reassessing my plans and ultimately shifting my focus back to music. I currently teach instrumental music at two lessons studios while also working as a freelance writer, and I am beginning a master’s degree in music production and composition.

Aiming at a moving target

Within roughly a year and a half, I completely shifted focus, changed my goals, and set out in pursuit of a totally different path. I am definitely proud that I had the confidence to change my mind in the way that I did, and it feels so much better to be working toward a target that better aligns with my long-term interests and identity.

While I would describe changing my goals as a liberating and empowering process, it was also intensely challenging. Shifting paths in the way that I did provoked a lot of self-doubt, and at times I began to feel like I was sabotaging myself. The targets I was aiming for kept moving, but I was the one moving them.

It was also difficult to explain my change in direction to people who had only known me for a few years, or who had provided me with academic or professional guidance about grad school and academia. But the people who had known me the longest thought that what I was doing made total sense!

For a brief period of time—which felt like a long time!—I wondered whether I would be able to stick with any goal long enough to bring it to fruition. (If you’ve ever felt this way, you know that this type of self-doubt can easily escalate into shame.) But I ultimately reminded myself that I wasn’t abandoning a longstanding goal in favor of something new and impulsive. Instead, I was returning to a revised version of something I had wanted to do since childhood.

I am definitely proud that I had the confidence to change my mind in the way that I did, and it feels so much better to be working toward a target that better aligns with my long-term interests and identity.

Changing your aim

One of the most difficult aspects of making a significant change to your goals is questioning whether you’re making the right decision. Deciding to shift your focus can be especially rough when it might mean letting go of something (even temporarily) that you have already dedicated your precious time and energy to pursuing.

At the same time, you might have a strong intuition that the new target you have in mind will be for the best. (And if you’re like me, you want to trust your instincts but might need to think through your options a bit more methodically to substantiate whichever direction you’re leaning!)

These four considerations helped me feel better about my change in direction, and I hope they will enable you to assess (or reassess) your own targets and how they align with your long-term identity and fit into the life you want to live.

1. Consider the path

The potential challenges and logistics involved in pursuing a particular goal can (and should) be significant factors in determining whether to stay on a path or change direction. These factors are also probably what prevent multipotentialites from totally changing our career trajectories every few weeks!

While reassessing my own plans, I became more aware of the intense competition for jobs in academia, largely for adjunct or short-term roles. My initial reaction was that, if I were going to be entering a highly competitive field no matter what, I would rather work toward a career in music: the hypercompetitive industry I had originally wanted to pursue! As you consider moving in a new direction, be honest with yourself about the challenges you may face along the way and evaluate whether these hurdles will be manageable and worth it for you to reach your goal.

2. Imagine your destination(s)

There’s incredible value in being able to visualize the outcome of a particular path and how it will make you feel, especially when it comes to momentous life decisions. In my case, as I got closer to making a move and things began to get more “real,” I realized I was about to make a huge mistake. During my initial decision-making process, I had placed a lot of emphasis on feeling assured that I had my future plans organized and maintaining my track record of (allegedly) “having my life together.” Consequently, I probably wasn’t thinking very clearly about how this new life might look and feel in the long-term.

When I actually envisioned a long-term career in academia and imagined what my daily life would look like, I felt trapped and artistically stifled. In comparison, in imagining a career in music production and media scoring, I felt excited by the prospect of working on different projects, collaborating with a variety of artists, and retaining more creative agency over my career. Even if you like the idea of a particular career or opportunity, if you don’t envision yourself deriving joy, growth, or a sense of purpose from it, that option might not be what’s best for you.

3. Respect the power of context

Looking back, I can tell that my decision-making process in considering an academic career was hugely impacted by global circumstances at the time. I think that I envisioned attending grad school and working in academia as being safe and predictable, while world events were the exact opposite. Even though I had originally planned to pursue a musical career path after college, and I still envisioned that target in the back of my mind, my aim had temporarily shifted in response to how the pandemic impacted my thinking and worldview.

Recognizing the impact of your circumstances when you initially decided to pursue something can be a major factor in determining whether to stick with it or go in a different direction. If you can look back and clearly identify where your reasoning was flawed or swayed by external influences, allow yourself the latitude to rethink your options from a new perspective.

4. Remember that you aren’t starting from scratch

People who have been wholeheartedly devoted to a particular career or pursuit (can you imagine?!) might seem to be way ahead of you when you commit to a new goal. If you’re considering a stark change in direction, seeing these individuals excelling might begin to dissuade you from embarking on your new path.

But you, as a multipotentialite, will inherently bring unique strengths to every new endeavor you pursue. It also doesn’t make sense to compare yourself, especially as a beginner, to someone who has been practicing a particular skill or building their career for years. (While this idea seems obvious, that doesn’t always stop us from making unhelpful comparisons that can take a toll on our self-esteem!) Keep in mind that your own targets may be completely different from the goals of others you might be tempted to compare yourself to. For this reason, it’s healthy and meaningful to be cognizant of the specific target you’re aiming for, and appreciate your own progress along the way!

Embrace the discomfort

I can honestly say that letting go of a goal that meant a lot to you—even for a short period of time—will not be an easy or comfortable experience. But sometimes it’s necessary to move away from a pursuit that isn’t serving you anymore. By intentionally making the decision to drop an outdated goal, you open yourself to whatever new goals and possibilities you feel drawn to pursue.

Your turn

Have you ever made a drastic revision or change to your goals? What did that decision teach you about yourself? Scroll down and share your experience with the community!

The post Why It’s Okay to Abandon Some of Your Goals appeared first on Puttylike.