Emilie Wapnick's Blog, page 9

A Journey to Multipotentialite Self-Acceptance

Have you ever worried that your multipotentialite journey has stalled? What happens when you take the risk to follow your multipotentialite passions, but the only direction you seem to be headed is nowhere in particular? Can you accept your identity as a multipotentialite before you feel like you have anything to show for it? 

These are the questions I tackled in a candid conversation with Puttyverse member Kay Glass. You are invited into an unflinchingly honest conversation about what can be a confusing and disheartening—but ultimately rewarding—process: coming to accept your multipotentialite self exactly as you are. 

With a focus on spiritual consultation, writing, knitting, lending trauma support, baking, and blogging her journey, Kay lives by her handle name: @iamaprocess.  No matter what her day job, Kay is on a mission to help others heal through getting clear about where they’ve been and getting excited about the journey that lies ahead. 

In our conversation, Kay sheds light on her process of accepting her identity as a multipotentialite: What life was like before she found the concept of multipotentiality, what changed when she did, and what advice she has for multipotentialites who are still struggling to find their place in the world.

Life before the word “multipotentialite”Trouble blending in

“For a long time, I used to blame who I was on my environment,” Kay said. Her family moved every 6-10 months, and she went to a new school every year. Kay had to “learn how to be a million different people in a million different places.” Like me, she felt misunderstood and “frustrated about trying to explain myself or the way I move through the world.” At each new school, Kay learned how to make herself appear smaller, slower, and less complicated so that others wouldn’t feel threatened by the number of interests, projects, and ideas constantly brewing in her mind.

Mislabeled and misunderstood

Kay’s friends and family had many names to describe how she appeared to them: vagabond, “the granola,” and Jane of All Trades… “Or they would say: ‘She’s our free spirit – she’s a wild child. She’s our creative.” A classic multipotentialite, Kay was often mislabeled as impulsive. “All of these things that look impulsive to them have actually been in your brain, marinating, for like six months. And nothing’s impulsive! It has just been something that you haven’t talked about until you were ready.” It was frustrating when others didn’t see what Kay called “the backstory”—all the thinking, learning, and research that led to the next so-called impulsive action.

A series of unsatisfying jobs

Kay described working at a monotonous job, her “umpteenth job that I had left because it just didn’t feel right anymore.” Like many people, she had reached an ending point with that job during the COVID-19 pandemic. I describe these as my Mary Poppins moments: times when I realize that I’ve contributed in a unique and significant way, and it’s time for me to fly away to my next adventure. In these moments, I know I’ve given others the tools to continue the work I started if they wish, using my multipotentialite gifts.

Ready to be fired—and thankful for it

While my multipotentialite personality means I’m happy to be the one to choose to leave a job, the threat of getting fired at any job would probably scare me into compliance. In contrast, Kay embraced the last time she was fired. “It was so funny. The day they fired me, [when] I woke up, I knew it was going to be that day.”  Kay laughs as she tells me about her boss breaking the news that she was being let go: “I started smiling because I was like: Thank you so much for this opportunity. I’m so grateful for this time. Thank you, I will happily accept my severance package. Good day!“

From “survival mode” to paralysis

Life after being fired wasn’t an easy road. Kay did some traveling and worked several more jobs before her partner decided it was time for an intervention. “He sat me down because I was going into survival mode.” She described a relatable multipotentialite quandary: “I didn’t know what to do. I’ve done so many different jobs in my life because I could do them.” Kay pointed out that one of the curses of “being a multipotentialite is that you have the breadth and the ability to do so many things.” Like many of us, Kay was taught to “take something that you love and [have a] passion for, and find a way to make money doing it.” She described thinking, “Ok, cool. Which one of my 20 hobbies should I pursue? You tell me!”

After trying to professionally pursue several of her interests, Kay acknowledged that she was “frozen and paralyzed,” spinning her wheels. She says, “my partner gave me the best gift ever. He told me to just stop moving—stop running around—because I’d been traveling literally every 6-10 months.”

Intentionally seeking stillness

Kay’s transition away from reactive paralysis reminded me of what I have been learning from Dr. Lorna Williams’ seven Lil’wat Principles. Dr. Williams translates the Lil’wat principle of Kat’íl’a as “seeking spaces of stillness and quietness amidst our busyness and quest for knowledge; stop and listen deeply.” When Kay gave herself permission to be still, she found Emilie’s TED Talk. “When I first heard the word multipotentialite, everything in me just calmed down.”

What changed when you finally found a word to describe you?

Finding the Puttyverse community—a place where it’s completely normal to “do a million things, because we can!”—was transformative for Kay. She realized that she didn’t have to walk the multipotentialite path alone. There was a community of people who understood and supported her. Up until then, Kay had been alone on her journey toward self-understanding and self-acceptance. She embraced the Puttyverse community, and they embraced her: “Puttypeeps reviewed and helped me optimize my resume. Puttypeeps encouraged me to even explore career paths never before considered. Puttypeeps gave me a sounding board for the million and one other ideas I had and some I still have floating around in my brain.”

What advice do you have for multipotentialites struggling to find their place in the world?Embrace your strengths as a leader

Kay used to wonder what made former classmates either call her a “nerd” or “intimidating,” even though she was a friendly, extroverted person. “It took me a long time to realize that they meant mentally. When you’re a multipotentialite, you can run circles around other people when you’re in your field.” She explained that when fast-processing multipotentialites are in a room where the topic is something that they care deeply about, “people think you’re a natural born leader because of how fast you can move. All of a sudden, your brain has considered everybody in the room’s opinions and ideas. You’ve already made a plan to take action…while they’re still figuring out how they feel.”

Show yourself acceptance with your self-talk

“In the past, I spent so much time hating myself, and finding things to hate about myself.” Kay’s journey to self-acceptance began when she started doing the work of “consciously paying attention to how I spoke about myself. You start paying attention to what you’re taking [in], who you’re around, how that influences how you treat yourself. [I looked at] what I was doing on a daily basis to actually appreciate who I was.” She realized that living an authentic life required self-acceptance and appreciation in the present—not in an imagined future. “And so now I have to find things to love about myself. And then, through that, I’m going to start learning what inner acceptance feels like, instead of outside acceptance.” This daily practice led Kay to an unshakeable inner truth. Wherever she found herself in the world, she would never lose herself again.

“I had a complete acceptance of my power, and my ability, and my intelligence as a woman who goes through the world in this way. And I was ready—I was finally ready!—to hear the word multipotentialite and take ownership of that.”

Don’t go it alone

As we wrapped up our conversation, I asked Kay if she had any final advice for our readers. She said she’d like her story to reach, “anyone who’s exploring. Anybody who’s trying to figure out who they are, or part of who they are, or who found something about the multipotentialite mentality or community.” If that resonates with who you think they might be…or be becoming, this is for you.

Her advice? “Nothing great in your life ever happens without support. If you want great things to happen, find support.” As she sees it, big things happen in life when you take the risk to let yourself be truly seen and supported. “You show up to the table with all your stuff, and you dump it out, and you’re like, Sorry guys, let me just make room here! and you dump it all out. Wherever you’re at, however you show up, and whatever you’re passionate about— whatever it is—bring it to the table.”

Kay Glass is currently a nursing student, a blogger, and spiritual mentor for people seeking clarity on their own path in life. You can find Kay on social media @iamaprocess or check out her blog at iamaprocess.com

Your turn

Where are you in your journey to self-acceptance? Has it taken any unexpected twists and turns? What advice can you offer those who are still exploring? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we build lives and careers around ALL our passions.

Learn more and join the Puttyverse community here:

The post A Journey to Multipotentialite Self-Acceptance appeared first on Puttylike.

Welcome Aboard. What Are You Here to Do?

Where’s your light?

In a world where most people focus on pursuing just one or two things, it can feel weird to be passionately interested in a large variety of possible pursuits. Once or twice I’ve even kept myself from doing a new thing because I felt a little odd, like maybe I shouldn’t allow myself to get into so many different things at once.

Maybe you’ve felt that way, too. A lot of multipotentialites I know have felt that way at one time or another. There’s an old saying, Don’t hide your light under a bushel, which I’ve come to embrace over the years.

I want to talk a bit about why we shouldn’t hide our light, and what that even means. First, I’d like you to play a game with me.

I’m going to present you with an imaginative premise to consider, a sort of Choose Your Own Adventure. You’ll probably recognize the theme from films like Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Cocoon, or Muppets From Space (my personal favorite). There was also a brief discussion of this in our Puttyverse forum—it’s a well-known trope. 

Let’s pretend!

So, what if I told you…

A spaceship has landed on Earth. Friendly extraterrestrial beings invite you to come on board and travel the stars with them. You’ll be fed delicious, nourishing food and you’ll have everything you need to survive. You can even bring your family if you like (assuming they are willing, of course). In this ship, you’ll visit new worlds and meet different species of beings. You’ll explore the cosmos! It’s an unprecedented opportunity to see distant galaxies in person.

The beings insist upon just two conditions:

First, if you choose to go with them, you will spend your life contributing your best gifts along the way. They explain that the ship and its beings will only thrive if everyone is passionately using their skills, with their whole hearts. You can choose to contribute however you wish, but you must put your whole self into your pursuit—whether that’s cooking, playing music, making scientific discoveries, helping to keep the ship’s engine running, or performing stand-up comedy to keep everyone entertained. It’s even possible to choose multiple things if you like, or to change your contributions as the years go by. 

The second condition to consider is that if you go, you’ll never see Earth again. The ship only comes to our planet every thousand years or so. You’ll be traveling for the rest of your life. You might want to bring your favorite stuffed animal and your recipe book.

A ship in the harbor is safe. That’s not what ships are built for.

J.A. Shedd

The considerations of a lifetime

Now that you’ve been presented with an amazing (and certainly life-changing) opportunity, you have some considerations to make.

First, you just met these beings. Can you trust them? For the sake of this mental adventure, let’s assume they’ve been vetted by the best minds on our planet and deemed trustworthy. Pretend they’ve proven themselves somehow. They’re not going to turn into lizards and eat you. They’re also not going to drop you off on Mars chuckling, “Good luck getting home, fool.” We can move past that fear.

But what about other fears, like the fear of unworthiness? You might wonder, what if my gifts aren’t enough? Am I even worthy of this species and this trip? Will my contributions be silly or will they be useful?

There’s a lot to consider here. You’ll be flying around the universe in a contained space with a large number of other beings. You’ll have the opportunity to choose the way(s) in which you want to contribute to this society. It might be a massively rewarding life, or it could turn out to be the toughest thing you’ve ever experienced. It might be both.

Think about it for a bit, then let’s move on.

There is no passion to be found playing small, in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

Nelson Mandela

Welcome aboard Spaceship Earth!

Welcome aboard and congratulations, Friend. Not only did you just play a little adventure game of the mind, but you are also living out this scenario right now. You are here with me, zooming around the universe in a spaceship we call Earth!

Pretty cool, right? What an opportunity! Of course, in this case, you weren’t given a choice about joining up. You were born on the ship.

Regardless of your choice in that matter, the big considerations remain. What will you contribute to this society? How will you use your unique gifts? Which gifts will you use?

The truth is, It doesn’t matter what you choose. You have the absolute right to use whatever gifts suit you best. You may still wonder whether those gifts will be useful. Many of us do this on a regular basis. However, the light in the “don’t hide it under a bushel” proverb is not what you contribute, the light is you contributing with all of your heart, in a way that makes you shine.

As multipotentialites, we have a unique opportunity to contribute many gifts over time, in our own unique ways and with full passion. We owe it to ourselves—and to Spaceship Earth—to explore our interests and develop as many skills as we are inspired to do. If we hide our true selves because we feel we’re not worthy or not useful, we’ll be doing the world and ourselves a disservice.

This spaceship needs you. It needs you to contribute your whole self. If your whole self has multitudes of ways to do that, then forge ahead. You’re already on board.

Your turn

Would you leave Earth forever for an intergalactic adventure? What gifts and talents do you contribute to “Spaceship Earth”? Weigh in with the community in the comments!

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and career around ALL our passions.

Learn more about the Puttyverse and get notified next time we open the doors:

The post Welcome Aboard. What Are You Here to Do? appeared first on Puttylike.

Dear Puttylike: What Do I Do with My Life?!

Welcome to Dear Puttylike, an occasional column where our team of writers tackles your burning multipotentialite questions! Submissions are edited for length and clarity.

Dear Puttylike,

Since I watched Emilie’s TED talk back in high school, I’ve identified as a multipotentialite. But at university I couldn’t pick a specialization. Any time I got deep enough, I got bored. It was agonizing because I wasn’t sure what I was going to do after I got out. Go to grad school? Try to get a traditional job?

I ended up in a non-traditional job in corporate sustainability consulting. I love the team, I’m getting good skills and the day-to-day isn’t so bad, but it’s not really where I want to be. Unfortunately, I don’t know where I DO want to be. I’m not really concerned about the end goal, because it’s hard to predict ahead a year—let alone several years. So, I’m going to stay where I am for at least a year… but I don’t know what I should do next!

Do I get my professional engineering license even though I didn’t specialize? Go to grad school even though I’m not sure for what? Apply for different jobs and just be okay with my interests changing?

—Alex in Agony

Thanks Alex! Your story resonated with me because it’s incredibly familiar. Pencil in different details, and this could be a tale told by many multipotentialites I’ve met over the years… or even myself.

Aim for better problems, not no problems

Reading your story, I was struck by the level of self-knowledge you already possess.

I’ve heard many multipods tell the same story as you, but backwards. In their telling, it’s the endless struggle to pick a specialization that you describe which eventually leads them to the realization that they are multipotentialites. After years of going back and forth, they finally meet others who feel the same and realize, Oh! This is a thing!

However, what I appreciate most about your story is that discovering your multipotentiality wasn’t an end point. It was a beginning.

It’s a great example that self-knowledge rarely solves our problems the way we imagine it should. Instead, it leads us to better problems. In your case, your discovery of multipotentiality in high school helped you to skip an entire class of struggles. Never doubting whether you should be drawn to many different passions, instead you’ve been wrestling with how to use that part of you to build a life.

And, just as self-knowledge took you from one potential problem to a better problem, more self-knowledge can take you to the next step again. This may be a yet more specific problem, like, Now that I have a plan, how do I actually begin to realize it?

To get to that step, we need to know what that plan should actually be aiming to achieve.

What are your true needs?

I’m guilty of living a lot of my life on a surface level: I want a new place to live! A new job! To travel more!

These may all be true, but it’s often helpful to ask why I want those things, i.e. which true needs each of them might meet. Do I want a new job for financial stability? To meet more people? To get out of the house more?

Let’s try this with one of the specific options you mentioned: “Do I get my professional engineering license even though I didn’t specialize?”

The only possible response to this question is “Maybe! Do you want to be an engineer?” But we both know that those sorts of questions are impossible to answer, so let’s break it down together. What would you like to get out of this—or any other—path? Make a list of what aspects of the engineering option motivate you! Do you truly need…

Financial stability?The respect of your peers, or of your family?A well-defined career path?The chance to use particular skills? (Perhaps design, or mathematics, of the knowledge of materials.)The day-to-day life of an engineer?

Try repeating this process with other options. What needs would going to grad school meet that engineering wouldn’t? Again, I don’t mean the obvious surface answer like “I need a qualification” (although that is also a factor). Try to go deeper each time. What needs would the qualification meet? Or what needs would the qualification make it easier to meet in future?

You can even use this framework to consider some wild options. What if you ran away and joined the circus? Or did something you absolutely don’t want to do? What needs would you meet with those options, and what needs would you struggle to meet?

Eventually, you’ll end up with a sense of which needs are genuinely important to you, as well as a feeling for which options can meet them easily, and which options would require tweaking to meet them all. The idea behind this is to escape the overwhelm of choice and to instead engage with the much more fun question of what you need your life to look like.

Beware the variety trap

Before we move on, there’s a road block which can easily stop multipotentialites who are attempting to identify our true needs. I often find myself declaring that my current biggest need is simply “more variety.”

This may well be true, but it’s important to go deeper if possible. After all, moving into a literal beehive would bring more variety to my life, but I doubt it would be much of an upgrade.

(Even if it would be sweet.)

(I’m sorry.)

If you find yourself in this trap, ask yourself to be more specific about the variety you want. In other words, in a perfect version of your life, what would be the same day-to-day (or week-to-week, or month-to-month), and what would be different?

Every choice is limiting—and that’s fine

When making life choices, I find it freeing to remember that, in all likelihood, I’m choosing between multiple good options and that it’s possible to build a happy life from each starting point.

Whichever option you pick, you’ll always be able to imagine a version of yourself that chose differently. You’ll be able to picture what you lack compared to them… but remember they can always do the same by imagining you. The version of you who went to grad school and the version of you who took the first cool-sounding job you found are both jealous of each other for some reason.

Since no path in life offers freedom from imagining a way it could have gone better, it’s important to dwell on the good things we’ve found along our own path. Each option we take brings unique experiences that the options we rejected would lack. 

And this remains true even if it turns out the option you choose kinda sucks! We all make suboptimal choices, and the only way to avoid them is to never make choices at all, which leads to a life that sucks in a whole other way.

So, when you land on an option that looks like it’ll meet a bunch of your needs and give you room to grow and change and enjoy yourself, then let yourself choose it without worrying too much about the other options. Because…

Nothing lasts—and that’s fine, too

Don’t be scared that any choice you make is permanent. Each choice is a new start. Sure, you can never go back in time and choose another option, but you’ll always be able to make new choices in the future.

Sometimes I worry about this too much in advance. It can be costly—in time, money and emotional energy—to change direction, but there’s nothing actually wrong with doing it. I’ve done it many times. It’s never (yet) been the end of the world.

Alex in Less Agony?

Alex, I think it’s clear from your story that you’ve already absorbed plenty of wisdom and self-knowledge. The fact that you’re consciously choosing to stick where you’re at for a year while exploring other options sounds extremely wise to me.

Like many multipotentialites, I’ve grappled with these same questions many times, and the conclusion I keep coming back to is this: All we can do is pick a path which seems good at the time, and try not to worry too much about it all.

I hope the next path you choose will be interesting enough to keep you on it, and that it takes you somewhere great. But, if not, there’s no shortage of paths. Down each one is hopefully a better problem, if not a total absence of problems.

Best of luck, and do let us know how you get on.

Yours,

Neil

Your turn

Have you ever navigated a big career change, despite not knowing what’s next? What advice do you have for Alex In Agony? Share with the community in the comments!

Is there something that’s getting in the way of you living your best multipotentialite life? Got a puzzling productivity challenge or career quandary? Is there a particular family member who won’t accept your many facets? Or maybe you have a more general question about multipotentialites and how we move through the world? Send your “Dear Puttylike” questions to advice@puttylike.com

The post Dear Puttylike: What Do I Do with My Life?! appeared first on Puttylike.

How to Keep Surprising Yourself—and Everyone Else

Any other multipotentialites wake up some days to a life that looks nothing like you expected? It makes sense. We’re often rerouted by passion, chance, or circumstance. We’re adaptable and flexible. Weirdness is our playground. We’re strong enough to surprise ourselves.

Emilie Wapnick, founder, Puttylike

This year, I turned 47 and joined my first band. We’re a trio of visual artists, in different parts of the world. We meet online and we’re slowly piecing together our first song. It may, or may not, sound like noise to the trained ear, but we don’t care.

If I get a call during band practice, I have to notify friends and family that I’m working on my music. This prompts questions. Lots of questions, like…

Malika, what exactly are you doing in this band?

Or

I’ve never known you to sing, or play an instrument, so what exactly are you doing in this band?

Or

Mom, since you’re the songwriter for the band… [No, I’m not the songwriter] …Wait, what are you doing in this band?

If people don’t respond this way when you announce your next new thing, then either you’ve aligned yourself with the most supportive community in the world (cue The Puttyverse) or you’re not doing this multipotentialite thing quite right. I’m kidding, of course. There’s no right or wrong way to live out your versatility.

One of the many positive aspects of our multipotentiality is that the people around us are sometimes caught off guard, shocked, amazed, and maybe even inspired by the unexpected ways in which we can change life directions.

Have you ever looked around and smiled at the pleasantly unpredictable ways in which your life as a multipod has unfolded? I say, let’s keep that going.

Life is more exciting with a few bends, twists, and turns. Here are four simple ways to continue allowing your diverse interests to spark awe in those who get to witness your unique journey.

1. Be mindful

Ok, so you’re the multipod who’s currently juggling 100 different ideas. You have every single ball in the air imaginable. You know, in your heart of hearts, that you can’t catch them all. So what do you do? Catch what you can and let the rest fall? That’s an option. But what if I said you could freeze time? It’s part of the magic of meditation. 

Taking a mindful pause, sitting still and enjoying the rhythm of our right-now moments, helps the past remain history and the future a trip we can save for later. We freeze time by savoring the present. And—if your peers are accustomed to seeing your busy multipod self go go go—your stillness will spark awe and wonder.

I enjoy the series on mindfulness found at AloMoves. They offer online sessions on breathwork, meditation, sound baths, and desire mapping. There’s a healthy variety of options there for multipotentialites to explore. And if you’re searching for a practice that’s not stuck behind a paywall, dancer and educator Maria Broom has a beautiful video where she explains mudras, the hand gestures used in yoga and contemplation to direct and balance our flow of energy. Maria’s guided meditation feels very gentle and doable, even if you’re a beginner.

There can be no one place to be, no one way to practice, no one way to learn, no one way to love, no one way to grow or heal, no one way to live, no one way to feel, no one thing to know or be known.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder, Center for Mindfulness in Medicine

2. Embrace Halloween, Mardi Gras, Carnaval, drag, or any excuse to put on a good costume

My friends, let’s call them Ash and Tamara, are gifted party people. The first time I showed up for one of their shindigs, I wasn’t prepared for what was expected of guests. Their attendees looked like they had each hired Hollywood’s finest wardrobe designers and makeup artists to transform their Halloween costumes into award-worthy statements. Not everyone in attendance was an actor, but everyone got deep into character. 

I’ve written before about how creating fiction can help you live many multipotentialite lives. Well, literally walking in another human’s shoes can also offer the chance to go all out, and be whoever else you want to be. 

Ash and Tamara have been spotted as mumu-wearing socialites and placard-toting suffragettes. For their upcoming Italian Carnival wedding, they’ll host a masquerade ball where we can reimagine the exploits of Casanova in Venezia!

Celebrations that encourage us to be other beings, even only for one night, are nirvana for multi-passionate people. Incarnate into a new you by donning some creative regalia. Keep ‘em guessing. Who will you be next?

Cultivating whatever gave pleasure to my senses was always the chief business of my life; I have never found any occupation more important.

Giacomo Casanova

3. Side job it

My cousin picked up a side hustle at a home decor retail chain. I didn’t think this was a good idea. At the time, she was married with four children, had elder care responsibilities, was an active member of her church, and held a full-time job. I worried that she would never be able to get a good night’s sleep.

When she launched her own holiday decor business, I understood that her previous side hustle had been her way of laying a foundation. Was this why it wasn’t stressful for her to take on this extra effort? It shocked me, at the time, that someone whose cup was already so full would want to have it running over completely.

My cousin is much more measured than I am. I dive in. She wades in—testing the waters very slowly. Though I was shocked at first, I now know this strategy was quite brilliant.

If you’re a multipod who wants to test out a new career or business idea, why not take on a part-time role in that field? Keep your day job and have someone pay you to learn on the job so you can discover if this new thing is really for you. Other people may question why you’ve taken on an extra gig or two, but you can dazzle them all later with your extra pocket cash and your well-researched fresh endeavor.

[Side Hustle] benefits might include learning or practicing new skills, exploring a passion of yours or just empowering yourself to find you have economic value outside of your day job or paycheck.

Nick Loper, founder, Side Hustle Nation

4. Live authentically

There’s no better way to surprise, shock, and amaze folks than simply living authentically as your best multipotentialite self. It’s very tempting to try to conform to whatever cookie cutter experience your particular culture has manufactured for you. It may feel safer and less scary. Heck, it may even be safer and less scary, but then the world loses out on the razzle dazzle that only you bring to the planet.

If you’d like more guidance on how to love up on all the different, yet still genuine versions of yourself, have a look in the archives where Emilie wrote about The Science of Being an Authentic Multipotentialite.

Sometimes we feel we have to sacrifice some parts of ourselves in order to pursue others. This may be because certain characteristics or work roles seem paradoxical or even antithetical to others. But, if we step back and think about why we are drawn to each of these jobs, we are likely to find that the roles we are drawn to are actually perfectly shaped puzzle pieces that define our true multi-faceted nature

Emilie Wapnick

The teenager in my house asked my fellow band members if this music thing we’re doing is going to last. I loved the answer one bandmate offered. “Well, we’ll see,” she said. “Right now we’re just experimenting and having a ton of fun. Adults are allowed to have fun too!” That’s sound advice for grownups, and multipods of all ages. Shock, astonish, and amaze with all your multipotentialite might, but remember to have a good time while you’re out there stuntin’ on the world!

Your turn

Do you find people are surprised by the way you move through the world as a multipotentialite? What’s your favorite way to shock friends and family with your many passions and endeavors?

The post How to Keep Surprising Yourself—and Everyone Else appeared first on Puttylike.

Holiday Sale on Puttylike! Up to 40% Off My Multipotentialite Course, Guide, Workshop & Community

Greetings, multipotentialite friends!

For many of us around the world, the holidays are upon us. People seem to either love this time of year or hate it. I know it’s a tough time for a lot of folks, plus people seem to be feeling a little exhausted right now…

As a digital hug to my multipotentialite community (wherever they may fall along the Fa La La La—Bah Humbug spectrum), I’ve decided to run a holiday sale. Almost everything on Puttylike is heavily discounted until Thursday December 2 at 11am EST.

If you’ve been meaning to get serious about building a life around your many passions, you’re going to want to jump on this. And if there’s a certain multipotentialite in your life who could use a little help figuring out how to put it all together, these resources also make great gifts.

Grab Your Multipod Presents!

Use these links before Thursday and the discount will be automatically applied:

LIMITED Holiday MultiPack ! ($173 $99 until Dec 2) you’ll get How Multipotentialites Make Money, Renaissance Business and Multipod Productivity. This is a super steep discount, so it will only be offered to the first 250 people.Renaissance Business ($49 $34 until Dec 2): a guide to help you combine your many interests into one multifaceted business.How Multipotentialites Make Money ($97 $67 until Dec 2): a course to help you turn your many passions into a career you love. Multipod Productivity ($27 $19 until Dec 2) is a 60 minute workshop where I share strategies for getting stuff done when you’re feeling completely stuck and overwhelmed.Puttyverse Annual Membership ($249 $199 until Dec 2): $50 off your first year in the Puttyverse will give you a full year of support, accountability, and feedback on your projects, career, directions, life, etc. from your awesome multipotentialite peers.

This holiday sale ends this Thursday, December 2 at 8am PST / 11am EST / 1700 CET, and the time flies by quickly, so don’t wait.

Wishing you lots of love and joy this holiday season. Here’s to doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS!

xo Emilie

The post Holiday Sale on Puttylike! Up to 40% Off My Multipotentialite Course, Guide, Workshop & Community appeared first on Puttylike.

Holiday Sale on Puttylike! Up to 40% Off My Multipotentialite Course, Guide, Workshop and Community

Greetings, multipotentialite friends!

For many of us around the world, the holidays are upon us. People seem to either love this time of year or hate it. I know it’s a tough time for a lot of folks, plus people seem to be feeling a little exhausted right now…

As a digital hug to my multipotentialite community (wherever they may fall along the Fa La La La—Bah Humbug spectrum), I’ve decided to run a holiday sale. Almost everything on Puttylike is heavily discounted until Thursday December 2 at 11am EST.

If you’ve been meaning to get serious about building a life around your many passions, you’re going to want to jump on this. And if there’s a certain multipotentialite in your life who could use a little help figuring out how to put it all together, these resources also make great gifts.

Grab Your Multipod Presents!

Use these links before Thursday and the discount will be automatically applied:

LIMITED Holiday MultiPack ! ($173 $99 until Dec 2) you’ll get How Multipotentialites Make Money, Renaissance Business and Multipod Productivity. This is a super steep discount, so it will only be offered to the first 250 people.Renaissance Business ($49 $34 until Dec 2): a guide to help you combine your many interests into one multifaceted business.How Multipotentialites Make Money ($97 $67 until Dec 2): a course to help you turn your many passions into a career you love. Multipod Productivity ($27 $19 until Dec 2) is a 60 minute workshop where I share strategies for getting stuff done when you’re feeling completely stuck and overwhelmed.Puttyverse Annual Membership ($249 $199 until Dec 2): $50 off your first year in the Puttyverse will give you a full year of support, accountability, and feedback on your projects, career, directions, life, etc. from your awesome multipotentialite peers.

This holiday sale ends this Thursday, December 2 at 8am PST / 11am EST / 1700 CET, and the time flies by quickly, so don’t wait.

Wishing you lots of love and joy this holiday season. Here’s to doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS!

xo Emilie

The post Holiday Sale on Puttylike! Up to 40% Off My Multipotentialite Course, Guide, Workshop and Community appeared first on Puttylike.

Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Multipotentialite Joy

Askance
adverb
1. With disapproval, suspicion, or distrust.
2. With a sideways glance; obliquely.
3. With disdain, envy, or suspicion.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.

If you’re a multipotentialite, there have probably been scores of things you’ve wanted to explore throughout your life. Some, you did. Some, you decided against. And some, you probably just forgot about.

If every single one of those things were only explored inside your head, then—no matter what happened—no one was the wiser. Your friends, family and strangers never got the chance to weigh in. However, if you let even one of these sparks of interest spill out of your head and explored it out loud, others in your circle may have looked at you askance. 

Many of us multipotentialites are familiar with others looking at us askance.

When we announce something new we want to explore, the people around us—especially those closest to us—are probably going to have thoughts and emotions that may not align with our own.

You might feel exhilarated at the prospect of a cross-country RV adventure. Your partner might dread it as a month of chaos. You may be intrigued by a move to a new division in your company. Your co-workers might not be so on board.

Even if we think we’ve become numb to the askance looks thrown our way, surprising bursts of negativity from those around us can make us feel deflated. Depressed. Suddenly unmotivated.

There are plenty of ways for multipotentialites to deal with unsupportive comments or looks. But first, let’s break down what’s actually going on behind them.

What they said

So you’re super excited to try something new, but your partner, spouse, parents, or friends aren’t exactly jumping aboard your woo-hoo choo-choo. Before you’ve even finished exclaiming about your new passion, you might hear one of these:

Hmm. I’m concerned that [fill in the blank].

How will you fit that into your schedule?

But you don’t even know anything about [x]!

Are you sure you’re going to stick to this one?

These not-exactly-encouraging phrases can really bring you down. If you were jazzed before, you might start to feel more of the blues. Discouraging as these words can be, there’s likely more going on behind them than just plain old rudeness.

What’s actually happening

Before you immediately label the subject of your disillusionment a jerk (or worse) take the time to consider the person who made the comment.. While you may have several bees buzzing in your multipotentialite bonnet, maybe the other person is just trying to figure out what’s making all the noise. It’s worthwhile to consider if their comment is about you, or if it’s really about them.

Are they distracted or stressed about something else?

Are they trying to fall asleep? Hot tip: don’t make a major announcement just as your partner’s head is hitting the pillow. Joy will not likely follow.

Are they just allergic to bonnet bees?! Maybe they’re not capable of experiencing the same kind of giddy excitement you do about new things.

Of course, it’s also possible that it is about you, but not in the way you expect. The things that might be swirling around in the other person’s anxious head include, but aren’t limited to, the following:

 Will you dump them, otherwise leave them behind, if things go well?

If you don’t know what you’re doing, will they have to bail you out, financially or emotionally?

Are you being selfish or egotistical in exploring this new passion?

Are you setting yourself up for failure?

On the surface, these concerns are about you, but when if dig a little deeper, they’re still about the other person. They may care about you and not want you to fail, but what if their concern is really about their own failures? Is it possible that their fears are getting in the way of celebrating your ideas?

What you can do about it

First, if a comment is making you doubt yourself, ask yourself:

Is it true?If it were to be true, what might that mean or cause to happen? (This can be especially helpful is the comment is a future hypothetical—a “what if”)

You can also prepare for these experiences in advance, by making a list of questions to ask yourself when you hear a negative comment. The answers you give yourself can help you analyze your own feelings about your new venture—and separate them from external criticism or doubt. Here are some of the questions I commonly consider:

What if I fail?

I’m not an advocate for envisioning failure, but it can be worthwhile to briefly explore the idea. What circumstances will you find yourself in if you do fail? What does failure even mean in the context of your new idea, endeavor, business, project, pet rocks, etc.?

For example, if there’s a lot of money at stake and you lose it all, will you still be able to feed, house and clothe yourself and your family?

What if I get bored with this thing later?

This happens to a lot of people, and is a common worry in my family. When we multipotentialites start something new, we’re filled with excitement and joyful anticipation. Then, as we get further into something, we occasionally realize it wasn’t quite the thrill we thought it would be.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with exploring a new idea and then letting it go. Even if it ends, the experience is yours to keep forever. Multipotentialites define “finishing” differently than other people, anyways. We’re done once we’ve gotten what we came for.

Do I really know what I’m doing?

What if you don’t? Especially if it’s something you’ve never done before, how would that even be possible? 

Part of the joy in trying something new is the learning and discovery. Read again: What if I fail?

How will I fit this into my schedule?

It can seem like there’s never enough time to do all the things you want to do. Maybe that’s even true sometimes.

It’s really a matter of prioritization. You may have to move some things around to make room for your exciting new thing. Ask yourself what’s most important to you and what you cannot afford to shift (like work, or caring for your child). If you make a well thought-out, conscious plan, no one can question your ability to keep doing your life. Not even you.

Just enjoy the experience

Understanding what you’re feeling about your new adventure can give you the confidence to weather the negative comments and doubtful looks being thrown in your direction. With a little reflection, you’ll know which of others’ anxieties are about you and which are about them—and you’ll have a little inkling of the things that might not become clear until you go ahead and dive in.

Allow yourself to simply enjoy your new pursuit for the experience. The experience is all yours. And, when you’re confidently having a great time exploring your new interest, no one can look at you askance.

Your turn

What’s your latest new passion? Have you gotten any negativity from friends or family members when sharing with them about it? Let us know in the comments!

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and career around ALL our passions.

Learn more about the Puttyverse and get notified next time we open the doors:

The post Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Multipotentialite Joy appeared first on Puttylike.

Anatomy of A Failed Month

Not every month can be great, but last month was a total disaster. They say a picture tells a thousand words:

[image error]

After adapting to a national lockdown in January, I found a great productive rhythm. But last month everything went wrong simultaneously. Let’s look back and analyze what happened.

I Know What I Didn’t Do This Summer…

First off, my complete derailment wasn’t due to lack of effort. Every day, I made a list of what I’d like to get done. After that, I even actually attempted the things on the list. (Actually attempting tasks is the One Weird Trick beloved by productivity experts everywhere.)

But I never got very far. I’d rapidly become stuck, or I’d delete my own progress, or I’d question if I ought to be doing something else. Or I’d be distracted by something fun, or derailed by something terrible, or so demoralized by the growing sense of accumulated wasted time that I’d waste more time ruminating about it. Suddenly, an entire month had passed, and I was unable to point to any particularly useful achievements.

Seasons like this come and go, but this period felt inescapable. I began to despair that I’d never achieve anything again—which seems over-dramatic now, but appeared reasonable at the time.

With the clarity of hindsight, I can now list the factors which combined to keep me stuck. Any few of these would be solvable, but all of them together were paralyzing:

Neglecting my physical needsNot balancing my time Location stagnationUsing fun activities to escape work, instead of as a reward for work External problems (bad news, personal dramas, plagues of insects, other)Lack of prioritization—all tasks appeared equally important, so beginning any task led to questioning whether I should be doing that task or something else

The combination of these factors left me drained—too drained to fix any of them individually—creating a cycle which was difficult to escape. Getting even one of these factors right could have given me enough energy to fix the others, so let’s examine them one at a time, simplest first.

Meeting my physical needs

I know I function better when I get enough sleep, exercise, meditation, quality food and social time. Unfortunately, my application of said knowledge is unreliable. I tend to briefly remember how important these things are, practice excellent balance for awhile, then get derailed, develop terrible habits again, and eventually be reminded once more. Then, the cycle begins anew!

My plan for addressing this pattern is to make the cycle so rapid that I’m effectively in a constant state of “being reminded,” meaning I’ll always look after myself pretty well. Basically, my rule is that as soon as I notice I’m failing, I have to take a small action to remedy it. For example, if I think a thought like I’ve not eaten well lately, then—instead of beating myself up—I have to plan a single better-balanced meal. Or if I think I’ve not been active for a while, I have to schedule a walk or a workout. This way, I (theoretically) avoid spiraling into guilt, making periods of bad habits shorter.

Balancing my time

During my failed month, I recognized that things needed to change. But I didn’t effectively change anything. My attempts to “alter my routine” consisted of sitting at the computer and attempting to work on something different—which not only didn’t help, it actively made things worse.

I needed genuine variety; whether something differently productive like cleaning, or exercise, or social time, or actually-restful rest. If something’s not working, working it harder won’t work…you know?

Changing my location

Sometimes, I fall into a similar trap: a subconscious belief that “self-care” exclusively entails resting more, rather than being more active. Sometimes, I end up staying home to recharge when going elsewhere for novelty is what I truly need. 

My solution is a simple rule: Every day, go somewhere.

This has been harder in times of covid, but it’s never been impossible. Sticking to it would have given me energy to tackle other issues.

Maintaining a healthy relationship with fun

As my failed month went on, I started disappearing into escapism to avoid work, rather than saving fun for afterwards.

To be clear, I don’t believe fun should be purely parcelled out as a reward for productivity. But there’s a difference between doing something genuinely enjoyable and guiltily bingeing a TV series. “Fun” procrastination methods often end up being neither helpful nor actually fun.

This means there’s an easy problem and a hard problem when it comes to balance.

The easy problem: guiltily consuming something enjoyable while I ought to be working. It’s easy to address because the fun has already gone. If I’m genuinely not enjoying whatever “fun” activity I’m procrastinating with, then I have a simple rule: stop it. Whatever else I do will be an improvement—whether it’s productive, or actually fun, or both.

Then, there’s the harder problem: remaining disciplined when there’s genuine fun to be had. Normally, I don’t struggle with this. It only becomes an obstacle when I’m running low on mental and emotional resources.

When I’m tired, stressed, just received some bad news and haven’t eaten well, it’s infinitely easier to seek escape than to work. The energy required to press play on a YouTube video is almost always available, but the energy required to make progress on a complex project may not be.

Unfortunately, in the moment I may not recognize my reduced capacity. Instead I judge myself as a terrible person, which makes me feel worse and further depletes my minimal energy reserves. This self-judgement makes the gap between the energy I need and the energy I have even greater.

Whenever I find myself thinking “I’m a terrible lazy person,” it’s actually an important clue! I need to use that as a trigger to think, Perhaps I’m really drained and I need to recharge ASAP.

Recognizing and processing external problems

This is the big one. The rapid down-slide on the graph was precipitated by a bunch of huge problems appearing at once, which knocked my overall capacity to deal with life down to near zero. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that “the global pandemic” has barely cracked my top five in recent months.

Clearly, there’s nothing I can do to prevent the existence of problems. The universe will always generate new ones, and each one eats away at my capacity to manage others. When a bunch appear at once, even taking care of basic needs can be too much effort, which further reduces my capacity. And the cycle deepens from there.

It’s impossible to simply decide not to have problems, but I could certainly avoid wasting capacity on bemoaning their existence. If only this wasn’t happening, I’d have so much more ability to deal with everything else is absolutely true… but thinking it is, itself, a waste of energy. 

When so many problems appeared at once, I’d have been better off immediately accepting that they existed—and that they require resources. This  admission would have pushed me to build up my resources by doing everything we’ve talked about so far—taking care of my physical needs, changing up my location, and prioritizing genuine fun over escapism.

I can see now that realizing all this required me to address one final facet of my well-being—the factor that underlies all of my other techniques for building capacity.

Prioritization: triage for life

Ironically, one of the few productive moments I managed during this time was participating in a conversation in the Puttyverse about how to prioritize tasks when there are many. The answer I gave was that I have an internal flow chart which helps me to figure out what to do, and it goes something like this:

Immediate physical needs —> Important but boring chores —> Anything truly urgent —> Whichever project seems most exciting to me today —> Boring work —> Everything else

After advocating for this in detail on the internet, I heroically managed to ignore my own advice and spin my wheels in the mud for weeks—until I finally realized that maybe my past self had had a point about the importance of prioritizing.

What went wrong? I never reassessed my priorities when circumstances changed. A batch of new difficulties had appeared, but I attempted to fix them while working on all of the projects I’d already planned, at the same rate I’d expected before the problems surfaced.

A solution for systems-minded people might be to add reprioritization itself into my list of priorities, making the flow chart into something like:

Immediate physical needs —> Check current priorities —> Important but boring chores —> Anything truly urgent —> Whichever project seems most exciting to me today —> Boring work —> Everything else

As silly as it may sound, consciously working through this exact list would have helped me confront my difficult month. I’d have realized sooner that I was taking on too much while my resources were low…and that they were getting lower each day.

A plan for next time

Looking back, the answers all seem so obvious! Look after myself better. Don’t try to do too much, as that risks doing nothing. Don’t keep trying the same thing over and over. Reprioritize.

But if I got in a time machine and told my past self, “You need to go for a walk, mentally reprioritize in the light of changed circumstances, and come home to cook a good meal,” it would have felt like being given yet another thing to do.

So let me distill everything down to the simplest possible system. Next time I recognize this stuck-and-getting-worse spiral, here’s my plan:

Scrap the current planDo something—anything—that provides a temporary rechargeMake a new plan from the ashes of the old one

And, hopefully, none of these new plans will need to involve “drawing a graph of crashing failure” ever again.

Your turn

Have you ever been completely stuck? How do you normally escape from that cycle? Share your stories and tips with the community in the comments.

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and career around ALL our passions.

Learn more about the Puttyverse and get notified next time we open the doors:

The post Anatomy of A Failed Month appeared first on Puttylike.

Dear Puttylike: How Do I Prioritize My Multipotentialite Life?

Welcome to Dear Puttylike, where our team of writers tackles your burning multipotentialite questions! Submissions are edited for length and clarity.

Dear Puttylike,

I’m finding it really hard to prioritize all my (multipotentialite) eggs, along with an online Master’s course. All the known time and focus management techniques just seem to add to the clutter in my brain. I don’t want to reduce the projects I’m working on, but deep work seems like an impossible task as well.

Thanks!
An Indian Student Who Cannot Sit Still

Dear Cannot Sit Still,

Mel here! As a fidgety multipotentialite with plenty of passions, I feel your pain! I have three pieces of advice for you.

1. Decide on a method of prioritization that feels authentic to you

It’s typical to prioritize by sorting out which tasks are urgent, which are important, and which are both. I encourage you to add other criteria, like what is more interesting at the moment, what requires the most energy from you, and what you predict will give you the most satisfaction from getting it done. You will need to decide which prioritization criteria works in your favour, and which past work rules no longer serve you. 

What do I mean by work rules? You say that “deep work seems like an impossible task.” This tells me that one of your work rules might be something like To really work, I need at least 3 hours of uninterrupted time. This is impossible in the life of a multipotentialite grad student like you! Some other common (yet unhelpful) rules we tell ourselves are I’ll be more focused later,  and I actually work better under pressure!

These work rules may be true for you, But they are also not serving you right now. Part of what’s cluttering your brain is the disappointment of not devoting “enough” time to any of your projects. Unfortunately, time is a finite resource—even for multipotentialites. Let’s see how you can use two additional strategies to get more joy out of the time you do have.

2. Gain insight into what makes you react

Have you ever used the Eisenhower Matrix? It’s a way of visually mapping out the importance and urgency of different tasks. In my opinion, the Eisenhower Matrix is most useful to people who feel like they are constantly putting out fires—reacting to external expectations instead of finding time for work that fulfills their internal expectations. If you feel that being in crisis mode is stealing most of your time, this matrix can help you quantify where the time is going.

Image via Tech Tello

Start by sorting your daily tasks into each of the four quadrants: (1) important and urgent; (2) important but not urgent; (3) not important, but urgent; (4) not important and not urgent. Sorting tasks in this way can give you insights about how your work habits might have slipped into less productive or satisfying  patterns as you added more multipotentialite eggs to your basket.

For example, you might find that you switch your attention too often to respond to a short, “urgent” task that gives you a hit of dopamine (feels great!) but results in too much time spent getting focused again on the (more effortful, less satisfying in the short term) task at hand. If you have trouble sitting still to focus on one of your interests, you might paradoxically get more work done by reducing the time you spend on each task, rather than chaining yourself to a painful drawn-out period of “deep work” with no breaks.  

How did it feel to use the Eisenhower Matrix? You might be surprised at:

How many things end up in Quadrant 4. You designate them as neither important or urgent, yet you inexplicably make time for them every day! (Hint: you’re probably doing it for the dopamine);The difficulty of delegating tasks in Quadrant 3. Common advice says that if someone else can do a task 70% as well as you could, you should let that person take care of it. But it’s hard!How nebulous Quadrant 2 can be. Who decides what is important when there’s no external pressure (urgency) bearing down on you to do it?

This takes us to our next strategy: Know where the pressure is coming from.

3. Identify your Tendencies

In her book, The Four Tendencies, Gretchen Rubin breaks categorizes people based on how they see the world and take action. Knowing your Tendencies can give you more insight into the way you respond to internal and external expectations. As Rubin puts it:

Upholders want to know what should be done.Questioners want justifications.Obligers need accountability.Rebels want freedom to do something their own way.

She even offers a quiz to discover your Tendencies! Here’s some advice for each of the four categories:

Rebels probably don’t read advice columns

If you are a Rebel, I’m sorry, I can’t help you. No advice column can! That’s because Rebels resist putting expectations on themselves. Gretchen Rubin’s advice for working with Rebels involves using reverse psychology which is just confusing for everyone else reading this column. So…don’t check out her video about how Rebels can help themselves achieve their goals?

Questioners can use radical acceptance to get through illogical but necessary tasks

If you are a Questioner, you might be having trouble prioritizing because too many of the tasks you feel responsible to complete (including that online Master’s course) are coming from other people, instead of from your own authentic multipotentialite interests. You may be unwittingly adding to the clutter in your brain by trying to convert other people’s expectations into ones that you also want for yourself. A Questioner will only get going on a task when they endorse it for themselves, usually through getting a lot of data-driven answers to their objections about the task first. 

Sound familiar? You can try the “hoop-jumping” approach I used to finish my PhD. My motto was Done is better than perfect. I stopped questioning the requirements to get my degree, and just got them done so I could move on. I scheduled time to “jump through the hoops”, as well as one day per week for what I called “professional development” (i.e., time to explore my multipotentialite interests and passions). Rigidly enforcing these time designations made my life feel more balanced and under control.

Obligers need to trick themselves into putting their interests first

If you are an Obliger, go back to that Eisenhower Matrix and read all the things you wrote down in Quadrant 2. Why aren’t you getting any of those done? Is it because spending time on them isn’t important to anyone but you? The hallmark of an Obliger is regularly sacrificing your own interests and goals so that everyone else gets what they want first. Your multipotentialite dreams don’t get to see the light of day because they are continuously overshadowed by others’ needs. 

So here’s a paradoxical piece of advice: Use other people’s expectations to achieve your own goals. Get someone or something else to keep you accountable. For example, if you’ve downloaded an app to help you learn a new language, turn on those impertinent app notifications to remind you to use it 5 minutes every day. Ask someone who speaks that language to call or text you once per month to greet you in that language. Make time for your personal passion by making it feel like you’re doing it for someone else!

Upholders may need to let go of a multipotentialite dream that’s gone stale

If you are an Upholder, you usually don’t have a problem meeting your own and others’ expectations. So, if you are having trouble right now, it’s likely temporary. It could be that you are experiencing burnout, or that there is a multipotentialite task in your life that used to bring you a lot of satisfaction, but is now just draining your energy. If that’s true for you, read this excellent blog post from Dr. Marla Gottschalk about how letting go of an outdated goal might just be the brain decluttering you long for.

So, here’s what you can do when you’re having trouble prioritizing your multipotentialite lifeAdd your values to the way you prioritize. Maybe a multipotentialite interest is neither important nor urgent to anyone else but you. If it brings you deep joy and satisfaction, advocate for it to stay in your life. Block off time (even if it’s short) for that interest, and don’t allow others to steal it away from you. That precious time will energize you for the rest of the things you have to do. It may even give you the courage and ideas necessary to make even more time for multipotentialite joy in the future. Revisit the Eisenhower Matrix for insight into your patterns. What needs to shift so that the Important and Urgent don’t rule the rest of your life?Respond to your Tendency. How can you use the way you respond to expectations to reduce the clutter in your brain?

If none of this works for you, you might genuinely have too many multipotentialite eggs in your basket. I’ve been there! Read this article from Neil Hughes about experiencing more contentment through less productivity. In the end, it might be the infuriating yet satisfying advice we all need!

Much love,
Mel

Your turn

How do you prioritize your projects and get stuff done? Got any advice to share with Cannot Sit Still? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Is there something that’s getting in the way of you living your best multipotentialite life? Got a puzzling productivity challenge or career quandary? Is there a particular family member who won’t accept your many facets? Or maybe you have a more general question about multipotentialites and how we move through the world? Send your “Dear Puttylike” questions to advice@puttylike.com

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and career around ALL our passions.

We only open the doors once a month for 2 days, and lucky for you, that time is now!:

The post Dear Puttylike: How Do I Prioritize My Multipotentialite Life? appeared first on Puttylike.

Running Away from Your Problem May Be the Best Way to Solve It

Recently, I ran into a particularly sticky life problem—one of those problems that kept me tossing and turning many nights. Typically, around 3:00 a.m. it would suddenly decide to wake me up and start shouting about itself.

Even after I flipped my sweaty pillow over to the cold side and tried some relaxing breaths, my problem would continue whispering to me. At least it wasn’t shouting anymore, but the constant nattering in my brain was keeping me from much-needed sleep. I figured that, as long as I was awake, I may as well try listening to my problem. I thought maybe I could come up with a solution, so it would finally leave me alone.

Later, I was chiding myself. I should have known better. After hours of midnight attention, my problem was snuggled up even tighter with me and would not let me rest.

I began to think that maybe over-focusing was the thing that was preventing me from solving my problem.

What we do when we encounter a problem

For me, over-focusing only happens when encountering a problem that’s bigger than, say, being out of peanut butter. (That kind of problem is easily solved:  A. Put jam on my toast, or B. Go to the store and get more peanut butter.) If I wake up realizing that my household is, once again, out of peanut butter, it only takes a moment to calm myself back to sleep with easy solutions.

With bigger or more perplexing problems, I tend to stop everything to focus on the problem. It sounds like the right approach—how can I expect to find a solution while ignoring a problem? But then something paradoxical and horrible happens: instead of coming up with a solution, I fixate on having the problem. I find myself working on ways to not have had the problem in the first place. My mind comes up with all kinds of silly tricks:

Attempt to find a way around the problem. This works about as well as believing that a detour through an alley could, in itself, fix a pothole on the road.Try to ignore the problem. We’ve already seen what happens when I try to use this trick. My problem wakes me up at night like a toddler with a monster in their closet.
Give the problem to someone else to solve. I would never do this to a friend or loved one just so I can get some shut-eye! Social media, on the other hand, seems perfect for handing off the problem baton. This never works, however. In the end, someone always replies, “Try sleeping on it,” and I’m back to square one.Is there a productive way to put problems aside?

Ignoring problems is almost a global pastime, and it’s not really understood to be an effective response. But what if I simply stopped thinking about my problem? After enough sleepless nights, I was ready to take this seriously. If I stopped focusing on my problem and busied myself with something else entirely, I thought I might come up with a solution.

Initially I was suspicious of this technique, because it sounds a little too closely related to ignoring it. But, I told myself, I wouldn’t be ignoring the problem. I needed a way to defer my problem and address other things, all while still acknowledging the existence of my problem and knowing that I needed to solve it.

How we think about problems impacts our ability to problem-solve

In her book, A Mind for Numbers, Dr. Barbara Oakley gives us a framework for different ways of using our minds. These different modes are best suited to different types of tasks and situations, and sometimes when one isn’t working, it’s a good idea to change gears. In the book, Oakley explains that our minds are usually engaged in one of two modes: Focus Mode and Diffuse Mode.

Focus Mode is just like it sounds. We are concentrating on a task or problem with our conscious minds. We’re actively engaged in completing or solving it. In the case of my monstrous, sleep-stealing problem, Focus Mode wasn’t working very well. In fact, I was often slipping into over-focus. Rather than helping me brainstorm good solutions, Focus Mode often leaves me hyper-focused on getting around “the problem.”

Diffuse Mode is when our minds drift into other things besides the problem at hand—like what groceries we need (obviously peanut butter), or getting the car washed. Mundane, everyday tasks can shift us right into Diffuse Mode. That’s why we tend to come up with our most brilliant ideas in the shower or driving on the highway.

Diffuse Mode is the mind going “big-picture”. It literally means that our thoughts are diffused throughout the brain rather than focused in one area, allowing us to gain insights we wouldn’t have in Focus Mode. Knowing this, we can actively engage Diffuse Mode and let our minds untangle the messy problem without our stressed-out selves getting in the way.

Rather than laying in bed with my problem kicking me in the back, I tried getting up and reading a novel for a while. I was able to relax and allow myself to not work on my problem. Eventually, I was able to sleep, and the next day had a path to solving the problem—one that likely would have taken me much longer to come up with if I was sleep-deprived and obsessing about the problem.

Our multipotentialite superpowers can help us use Diffuse Mode

As multipods, we basically can’t stop exploring varied interests. When it comes to tackling difficult problems, this is a huge advantage. When we get stuck on a problem in one area, we can easily switch over to something else and let our minds slip into Diffuse Mode for a while.

Whenever I’ve tried this myself, it works wonders. Although it sometimes takes me a while to get my head out of the super chunky problem I’m currently dealing with, it’s always worth it. Sometimes, I can actually feel my mind loosen up as I get deeper into a new thing. It can take a day or two, but when I circle back to a big problem I often have a new perspective. Sometimes, I even have a solution!

Your turn

What do you do when a particularly tricky problem shows up in your life? Do you prefer to focus on it intensely until it’s solved, or set it aside while your mind works on something else? Share your techniques in the comments!

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