Emilie Wapnick's Blog, page 12

Let’s Stop Categorizing Interests According to Gender

No, those aren’t for you, let’s look at the boys’ section.

I was browsing toys with my son when those words floated in from the next aisle. I heard a few more instances of No, followed by some pleas to stay. Then I saw them. A woman was dragging a small child into our aisle, where the trucks and other shiny plastic vehicles lived. “This is the right section for boys. You can look here,” she explained. The kid halfheartedly looked at a few things before asking if they could leave. (Try to picture a child asking to leave the toy section, if you can.) And so they went, but they left behind one angry adult: me.

While my son continued to point out different toys to me, I had to restrain myself from shouting after the woman, “Toys have no gender!”

It only took a few moments to calm myself, but the feelings of anger and resentment stuck with me for the rest of the day. Okay, apparently they stuck with me longer than that because here you are reading my thoughts about it. I was angry because it brought up feelings from my own childhood, where I was steered toward objects and interests that were “more suited” to my perceived gender. As a kid, I had enough interests to fill a granite quarry, and initially I had no internal filter for “girl things” and “boy things.” I had to be taught what was appropriate for me, although I never understood the why behind it. I only knew that there were things I wanted to pursue and things I didn’t.

I didn’t want to play baseball, but I did want to play with stuffed animals and make paper crafts. I also loved building forts and climbing trees. I noticed that girls could climb trees and make forts, too. What did that mean? I could play Star Wars on the playground with my friend Susan, but playing dolls together was not an approved activity. Why were some things okay and other things wrong? Was there a secret Activities According to Gender Handbook locked away somewhere?

If you’ve ever heard a parent say, “Take away that doll, I don’t want a sissy for a son,” or “She can’t keep playing in the dirt, it’s not ladylike,” then you’ve seen some of the most obvious gender policing at work. When grownups try to tell children what’s appropriate for them based solely on their perceived gender, they are likely telling them that some of their interests are wrong or shameful. We currently live in a world full of adults who have lived their lives believing that certain aspects of their personalities are, in fact, defective.

As a grownup and a parent, I understand now that my parents, grandparents and teachers were only doing what they thought was best for me—based on their own background, culture and religion. I don’t harbor any blame for anyone. But when I heard that child in the toy aisle being taught what was “appropriate,” I felt the resentment and confusion come back up. I marveled at the fact that, 40-odd years later, the genderism of interests is still happening.

I started to wonder more about how our society teaches us to inhibit our interests solely based on gender.

Why do we assign gender to activities?

Because I like science and not just thinking up stuff on my own all the time, I searched for studies on how and why humans decide which activities are appropriate for their particular gender. The most recent paper I found was prepared by researchers at The University of Iowa and the University of Illinois in 2009. The 27-page report actually turned out to be a composite of previous studies going back to the early 1900s. Many of the studies cited showed that males tend to pursue STEM activities, and women are more attracted to people-centered activities.

Mirroring the idea of binary gender itself, the spectrum of human interests seems to be separated into two categories: 

Male: brainy, strong things 

Female: cuddly, emotional things

As I pored over all this fancy research, I began to wonder: if the studies were conducted on adults in decades past when, for example, it was strange or even taboo for a woman to pursue any occupation at all, was the research skewed by that fact? Would the average young girl of the 1910s really tend to not pursue engineering simply because of their chromosomes? Would girls of that era even consider that a career in engineering was possible??

In fact, the authors of the paper concluded that:

“Despite the importance of interests in educational–occupational choices and the widespread belief that substantial sex differences exist, there has been no comprehensive review quantifying the magnitude and examining the nature of sex differences in interests.”

With that disappointingly empty-handed conclusion, I decided that I would keep my focus on the experience of gendered pursuits rather than explore the abyssal depths of why. Anyway, I was getting a headache.

The agony of gender segregation

I am a non-binary human, which means that I don’t identify as strictly as male or female. For me, being sorted into assumed groups for activities can be awkward at best and agonizingly painful at worst. I’ve witnessed gender segregation countless times. In my life it has appeared in various scenarios, of which I will share two of my favorites.

Scenario 1

At extended family gatherings in the past, I was often sent to hang out in the garage rather than to chat in the kitchen or living room, which I preferred. The reason for this is simple: the cars and tools are in the garage, and that’s where the men are supposed to be. If you’re perceived as male, you therefore belong in the garage. If this happens to you, my advice is to come back with grease or dirt somewhere on your person, or you might be heckled for not giving the activity your full participation.

Scenario 2

I worked on a trial team, and we’d converted a hotel ballroom into our workspace. We were connected to a shared server, which frequently went down. The person who set it up and knew how to fix it was a paralegal, who also happened to be a woman. That didn’t stop the lead attorney from consistently approaching my male coworker and asking him to fix the server. Every time this happened, my coworker  would tell the attorney, “Carolyn fixes that for us,” and every time we would have to turn to Carolyn and ask her to fix the server—in full view of the attorney! I thought at some point we were going to see him get strangled by a LAN cable.

These are only two examples, and the experience of gendered activities and roles is very individual. Fellow Puttylike writer Malika Ali-Harding related, “I ran into gender issues and expectations on the job during my filmmaking life. People expected me to be maternal on set, in my role as director, which I found absurd. There are probably a whole bunch of ways I could’ve done better work in that role, but the gendered casting frustrated me.”

And what do we do with those who, like me, do not fall into the gender binary? How do we slot them into the proper pursuits and groups if we can’t define their gender as male or female? When you start to consider the existence of non-binary people, the whole concept of gendered interests completely falls apart.

Are we doomed to conventional gender roles?

Although history has shown us that activities often fall into gendered categories, we don’t have to continue the paradigm. Those of us who become interested in new things by the hour or minute shouldn’t limit ourselves to the interests that are mysteriously defined by our chromosomes. The very word multipotentialite expresses the idea that we allow ourselves to pursue many potential interests. We don’t cut ourselves off at a certain number, so why do it by gender?

The best way to change the gendering of pursuits paradigm is to start with ourselves. If you want to fix up classic cars, do it! If you’re suddenly enthralled by the myriad doilies on Pinterest, then dive in. Don’t let others shame you away from following a path that isn’t gender-typical by society’s standards. As multipods, we’re already atypical, so why not celebrate further by expanding our range of interests as far as we can?

By the same token, I believe it’s our job to make sure that we leave space open for others to participate in activities that would otherwise be segregated by gender. We have a huge opportunity to lead by example, and to be expansive and welcoming.

And, if you ever have the chance, try browsing every aisle of the toy section—even if you don’t have kids. Browsing is free. And so is expanding your horizons.

Your turn

Do you have any hobbies or interests that aren’t traditionally considered appropriate for your perceived gender? Have you ever been told to do (or not do) something because of gendered expectations? Share your story in the comments!

The post Let’s Stop Categorizing Interests According to Gender appeared first on Puttylike.

Uprooted & Bloomed: A Multipotentialite Life Abroad

I own a tattered deck by author Judy Reeves. It’s a stack of writing prompts along with a guidebook on how to use its suggested exercises when away on a creative or contemplative retreat. I must’ve read the word “suggested” too literally, because I’ve never attempted a single writing exercise from this series. The cards are well worn, though. I throw them in my suitcase every time I head somewhere for solitude. I’ve read the guidebook from front to back, the deck from top to bottom. I reference the book when I’m planning to host my own private getaways. Yet, I’ve never done any of the recommended writing.

I pulled out these cards just the other day. I’m not headed anywhere during the lockdown, but the deck seemed to beg my attention. So, I obliged. When I opened them, I was faced with a prompt titled “Planting Seeds, Tending Gardens” which encouraged me to “write about being transplanted.”

It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.

Bilbo Baggins

People often ask why I moved abroad. Like a good multipod, I don’t have just one answer. There are multiple factors that went into my family’s decision to pack up our Los Angeles home of nearly a decade and make a new start in Amsterdam. 

The Netherlands had never crossed my mind before a solo trip to Italy landed me at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport (with my Judy Reeves deck in tow) on a brief layover. 

Inside, I found myself dwarfed by giant cardboard cutouts of Dutch Canal Houses. I really don’t know how to explain this without sounding super woo woo, so prepare yourselves. What I felt, in that moment, was a strong presence of light. Holland didn’t feel like my future, it felt like my past. I’m not a person who even believes in past lives, but underneath the cheesy cutouts, I felt called to this place—or maybe, called back.

I had grown really accustomed to life in California. So much so, I would’ve sworn Los Angeles was my forever home. I met my husband there, raised babies there, bought a house with a yard and learned to love the avocados that grew back there. 

But my time alone in Italy and the layover in Amsterdam forced me to see that I had become a little too comfortable in the Golden State. My inner multipotentialite goddess needed to shake things up a bit. 

Back in the States and barely unpacked, I announced my bright, new idea to my spouse. “I think we’re creatively stagnant. Everything is far too familiar here. We should leave…the continent!”

Life does not accommodate you; it shatters you. Every seed destroys it container, or else there would be no fruition.

Florida Scott-Maxwell

My partner is a Taurus. For those of you who don’t speak astrology (I just learned this myself), it means he’s one seriously grounded dude. When I spoke the words change continents, he had been with the same company for 18 years. His wife, on the other hand, could barely hold a job for 18 minutes. I think he admired this about me.

Since we’d been married for almost as long as he had held his job, he learned how to steady himself whenever I decided to turn our worlds upside down. Not every life-altering idea I throw out there materializes, so he coached himself to play along and not worry about the brand new thing actually actualizing. 

We had a lot of fun during his denial stage. We watched plenty episodes of House Hunters International. We got caught up on every selling point of Dutch culture—low incarceration rate (I’m into freedom), the world’s happiest families (we deserve joy), anti-prudish (I detest fake virtue, even if I’ve been guilty of it plenty myself). 

Dutch cigar wrappers kept showing up in front of our house. Either this was a sign or our neighbors wanted to encourage the move. 

We even expanded our horizon, entertaining the thoughts of other cities—Stockholm, Paris, Cape Town, Barcelona. We went to visit some of these places too.

Then, I got scared. California is warm. Sweden and The Netherlands are cold. Plus I had avocados growing on a tree in my backyard!!

There is no certainty, there is only adventure.

Roberto Assagioli

People were starting to respect the work I was doing locally. I had transformed the ground floor of our home into an alternative art space, where I organized group shows. Folk seemed to appreciate this work. Would it make sense to pick up and leave when I was just gaining traction? And didn’t I say, out loud, about a decade ago, to a rapt audience of friends, that I would never live in Europe, the land of my colonizers? 

I was ready to pack up this living abroad dream and all of the research that went with it, when my husband got a ring from his employer. The boss had called to say he had to lay my husband off, permanently. Yep, from that job of nearly 18 years!

That Amsterdam airport light, once warm and inviting, was now beaming, strong and aggressive, like a searchlight summoning us out of hiding. 

We both knew we had to step out and show up in the world.

Transplanting, in horticulture, is the process of removing a plant from the place where it has been growing and replanting it in another. (U.S. Dept. of Agriculture)

Flowers that have been started indoors may be transplanted when all danger of frost has passed. (Britannica)

We uprooted during the summer months with the frost of Holland a safe distance away. By the time the winters I feared had arrived, my family was snug and firmly grounded in our brand new, old country.

One final quote for the road…

I don’t think anyone has thought this through.

our ten-year-old, on the way to The Netherlands

Visiting Paris (Brian Ali Harding)Your turn

You too can follow the prompt. Tell us your multipotentialite transplant adventure in the comments section. Have you relocated to a new a job or a new town? Maybe you’ve transplanted yourself from one major field of study to its polar opposite. Share all the Putty deets below!

The post Uprooted & Bloomed: A Multipotentialite Life Abroad appeared first on Puttylike.

How to Keep It Weird When Life Gets Busy

A while back, after I wrote about staying productive when circumstances get weird, one commenter jokingly suggested that it’s just as important to stay weird when circumstances get productive. Ever since, that phrase has echoed around in my mind.

Sadly my circumstances have rarely been productive enough to make it relevant.

However—thanks to a life-changing global event you might have heard of—it has become easier to justify filling my days with work, work and more work. In recent months I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve said to myself, It’s not as if I’m missing anything fun! as I excuse yet another day tapping away at the same keyboard in the exact same room.

Suddenly, keeping things weird has become critically important. 

The issue isn’t with productivity itself. After all, I spend so much energy on increasing productivity that it would be perverse to worry about being “too” productive once the work starts flowing. 

The problem is with everything else. More specifically, the lack of anything else. Looking back over the first five months of 2021, I can’t pinpoint a single moment when I last did anything new. This would be a problem for most people, but for a novelty-addicted multipotentialite it’s a nightmare.

Long periods of monotony are draining in ways which are difficult to detect until I suddenly sputter and stall. There’s no indicator that my tank is about to run dry. It just happens. Life abruptly loses its flavour, feeling flat, dull and joyless.

Science helps to explain this. Neuroplasticity is the fancy word for “the brain rewiring itself.” According to Megan Call of the University of Utah, “the more the brain is exercised, the stronger and more connected it becomes.” 

And one of the best ways to exercise the brain and increase neuroplasticity is novelty. Novelty leads to neurons making more connections. And, as I understand it, “more connections means more brain good”.

In short, just as a lack of exercise leads to muscle decay, a lack of novelty leads to something akin to brain decay.

Keeping it weird is important. Injecting weirdness into my life is a form of self-care.

Generating novelty with micro-weirdnesses

Happily, this particular problem is easy to solve. Humans can produce a near-infinite amount of novelty, at will. Even better, thinking up sources of novelty is itself a form of creative imagination, with all the positive neuroplasticity effects that implies.

Even a small amount of novelty is encouraging to the brain, so when I’m running low I like to come up with micro-weirdnesses: small non-disruptive changes which I can easily mix into my life.

A few years ago I wrote about one example in detail, after realizing that simply rearranging my office had given me a burst of energy and enthusiasm. I have a fun formula for inventing new micro-weirdnesses. We just have to imagine how everyday actions could be performed differently. For example:

Brushing your teeth with your other hand (this is surprisingly difficult, and it’s bizarre just how different it feels)Taking a new route on a common journeySitting upside-down on the sofa (this may or may not be wise depending on the exact shape of your sofa)Wearing brighter or darker colours than normalDancing to music from a genre you normally avoidDancing at allEating the food you normally save for last first

You get the idea. Obviously, brushing your teeth or eating a meal in an unusual manner isn’t going to revolutionise your entire life. But it’s amazing how much extra energy even the smallest change brings. Those brain chemicals are not to be underestimated.

This may sound ridiculous, but doing everyday tasks in novel ways genuinely makes me feel more alive. Instead of autopiloting through the day from waking to sleeping, I’m actually forced to engage with whatever I’m doing. You can’t wash the dishes with your elbows without really thinking about it!

(See also: Doing Things the Stupidest Possible Way)

How weird is weird enough?

I’m naturally inclined to believe that if a little bit of something is good then a lot of it must be better. That’s just good logic, right?!

But, as anyone who has experienced my cooking can attest, there is such a thing as “adding too much flavour”. And I have finally accepted that a lot of change isn’t necessarily better than a little change.

I, myself, am prone to suddenly moving to Australia—by which I mean that I have done this twice, which is considerably higher than average—but getting those brain chemicals flowing doesn’t have to mean ripping up your entire life and starting anew. If micro-weirdnesses aren’t enough, then the answer can be as simple as starting a new project. Or finding a new podcast to binge. Or finally acting on a creative urge you’ve been stifling for a while.

Perhaps the healthiest place to aim for is to have a regular supply of novelty, rather than a huge amount of it. A productive life with a constant injection of micro-weirdnesses which nudge my brain into a more engaged state.

Thinking back to the comment that began this whole train of thought, I can’t imagine the reaction if I’d responded: “the best way to keep things weird is to brush your teeth with the wrong hand!” I expect they’d have assumed I was joking. But it’s not a bad start.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to crawl to the kitchen on my hands and knees and sing the national anthem backwards while I make a cup of tea. It’s for my own good.

Your turn

How do you inject a little extra weirdness into your life? Are there any fun micro-weirdnesses you could try? Or have you mixed things up with a cool new project recently? Share with the community in the comments!

The post How to Keep It Weird When Life Gets Busy appeared first on Puttylike.

The Wonderfully Unattainable State of Normality

If only I were normal.

If only I were normal, everyone would like me. If only I were normal, people wouldn’t stare at me. If only I were normal, I wouldn’t have to be afraid of standing out. If only I were normal, I could have a great life.

These are some of the thoughts I’ve had at various times throughout my life. From a very young age, I understood that I didn’t fit in. My choices in clothes, my bookishness, and my offbeat sense of humor made me stand out from the other kids—sometimes not in the best of ways. I was deemed “weird” and harassed in school for being different. As a consequence, I spent a lot of energy changing myself outwardly so that I didn’t attract the dreaded teasing and bullying.

I spent close to fifty years trying really hard to be what I thought was considered normal. I frequently fell short of the mark. The more I tried to bend myself to what I thought was society’s standard, the more abnormal I felt. Then I had an epiphany:

Normal is a moving target. I will never hit it.

I suddenly realized that striving to be normal is this massive and unachievable goal. It’s like teaching koalas to drive cars, or keeping reality tv stars off of Instagram: rationally, we should stop for a moment and consider whether either of those goals are even worth trying. Attempting to achieve normalcy may not even be worth our time.

It’s not uncommon for us to want to feel or seem “normal.” It can mean acceptance—maybe belonging to a group—which can mean stability. In some cases, appearing normal can even mean personal safety. These are all valuable human needs that many of us seek to fulfill.

What is normal, anyway?

But what does it mean to be normal? Is there a true “normal,” like true North, which you can easily find by aid of a compass? Who sets the standard for normalcy? If you don’t meet that standard, does it mean you can’t be part of society or have a great life?

Humans vary in endless ways. Additionally, when you take into account things like culture, the part of the world you’re currently occupying, and proximity to other humans (or reality stars), how can we possibly establish a standard for being?

For example, in the U.S. (in the last century, anyway), circling your finger around your ear meant you were implying that someone was mentally unbalanced. If you did that same thing in Northern Europe, it signified that you had a telephone call. Now, imagine you’re Norwegian. Say you take your perfectly normal Norwegianness to someplace like, say, Albequerque, where you have found work as a receptionist. Now let’s imagine your boss has a phone call. You point to her, circle your ear, and within minutes find yourself packing your desk tchotchkes into a box.

Sometimes it can seem like there’s some sort of mysterious governing body who constantly reviews all human activities and states of being. Surely, they must be the ones making decisions about the most trivial things in our world, like should both our socks match all of the time? Can we wear them with sandals? They likely also decide about more important things, like owning a home or living in a van. These normality laws are magically expressed to all of us so that we carry them around always. Updates are free and automatic.

The truth is, of course, that the mysterious governing body is us. We are the ones making these judgments for each other and for ourselves. Even if we stand firmly and claim, “No way, I’m not normal!” We are viewing ourselves through a lens which sees everyone else around us as, in fact, normal. It’s a false dichotomy. Things like sense of humor, gender, home ownership, or the appropriate firmness level of a banana, will forever be subjective.

In the 2004 film Normal People Scare Me, director Taylor Cross interviews a group of high school students with Autism. These are kids who have been teased and ridiculed for behaving in ways that other students consider abnormal. At one point Cross poses the question, “What is normal, anyway?” In essence, that is the underlying theme of the film, and a question I think we should continually ask ourselves.

The notion of normal can be limiting

If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.

Maya Angelou

What would happen if we cast aside our desire to achieve an arbitrary status of normalcy? How far could we go if we weren’t hindered by societal norms, or even the definitions of normal we hold dear in our minds? What if we tried to let go of that attachment?

For many multipotentialites, living in a world where the cultural convention is to stick with one pursuit to the exclusion of all other interests can make us feel quite abnormal. Abnormal can feel wrong, and feeling wrong can keep us from exploring new ideas or experiences.

Broad social norms can keep us from our own personal sense of “normal.” That is, they can keep us from living in the way that feels best to us, from doing our best work, and from being happily uninhibited by arbitrary standards.

We are all, in our individuality, amazing beings with great potential. Our uniqueness is a gift that we can share with the world.

Weird for its own sake

However, being weird for the sake of being weird is not always the most useful. Of course, everyone loves a good flash mob. But, for example, if you show up to the Zoom call wearing underwear on your head, you may not be taken seriously as you present your new economic plan. Singing Metallica songs loudly while everyone on the plane is trying to sleep will not score you any points just for being unique.

As a parent, I want my children to follow social conventions enough so that they aren’t kicked off of airplanes. I want them to be accepted enough by society so they aren’t bullied, or worse. At the same time, I want them to be confident enough in their uniqueness and life choices so they are not swayed by someone else’s standard.

Be gentle with yourself and each other

Being hyperaware of societal standards (or whether they even exist) can be exhausting. Being mindful about why we are making a choice, regardless of any standard, is energizing.

Especially within the multipotentialite community, it’s helpful to be flexible about what’s considered conventional. For example, it’s okay for any of us to stick to just one thing for a while, any time we wish.

It doesn’t matter where we exist culturally, geographically, or contextually. Knowing that achieving pure normalcy is impossible can be comforting. Once we remove those mental constraints, we are free to explore all the wonderful things like varying degrees of banana firmness without attaching ourselves to the idea that normalcy  exists.

The unattainability of normal can be freeing and wonderful.

Your turn.

How do you deal with it when social norms are in conflict with the way you want to live your life? Do you have strategies for “letting go of normal”?

The post The Wonderfully Unattainable State of Normality appeared first on Puttylike.

Can You Be the Wrong Kind of Multipotentialite?

Hello, my name is Mel and I’m the wrong kind of multipotentialite. Or at least that’s what I thought until I dared myself to write this article. You see, I’m an overachiever. Type-A. People-pleaser. Morning person. Clearly, a person who takes personality tests.

But a multipotentialite is supposed to be a person who can never be defined by one thing. That’s why I feel such kinship with all of you! So how did I end up with a case of multipotentialite imposter syndrome, where I’m slightly afraid that when you know the truth about me, you’ll revoke my credentials? Why have I chosen this as my first article to introduce myself to the Puttylike community?

The truth is, as much as I love being a multipotentialite, the way it can manifest for me looks like a relentless compulsion to keep achieving. That may be what it looks like, but that’s not the whole story of who we are, and why we are that way.   

I want to offer hope for people like me who’ve had bad boyfriends deride their list of passions and projects as typical of a soulless “striver.” For those whose diverse interests start out innocently but before you know it, you’re Vice-President of the club or you’re starting a new Certificate in the field. I am with you. I am you. Here’s why.

How my multipotentiality shows up for me

I am a dancer, singer, pianist, public speaker, educator, and activist. I think those are the main ones.

How I ended up with multipotentialite imposter syndrome

I was coming to terms with my identity as a serial overachiever until a bunch of people in a social media group I respect started sharing their Enneagram numbers. All of them were noble, caring, thoughtful, world-changing types…except for one. Me. Enneagram Three. Let’s do some reading about the Enneagram Three together, shall we? Psychology Junkie says that an Enneagram Three’s worst fear is being worthless: “Threes, also called ‘the achievers,’ are driven towards success and accomplishment. They are very goal-oriented and determined – working hard to achieve accomplishment and recognition. They tend to be enthusiastic, confident, and ambitious. On the downside, they can be overly image-conscious, impatient, and obsessed with status.”

WHAT? Who me?

Yes you, Mel.

Am I a multipotentialite because I’m trying to outrun my fear of being worthless?

I mean, the article indicates it’s a possibility, Mel.

Could I be another kind?

No, Mel.

Am I saying that because I care too much about what others will think of a Three?

It’s literally in the description of a Three, Mel.

After that thrilling round of self-talk, I started taking other assessments. My Top 10 CliftonStrengths include the double A’s: I am  both Activator (“You can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. You want to do things now, rather than simply talk about them”) and Achiever (“You work hard and possess a great deal of stamina. You take immense satisfaction in being busy and productive”). Because I am a sucker for punishment OR because I believe in data triangulation, I then took the Saboteur Assessment. My top two saboteurs are Pleaser and Hyper-Achiever. 

Can you relate? No seriously, I want to know…because I am a people pleaser? Ugh.

Are you an Overachieving Multipotentialite? Here’s how to feel better about it.

If you can relate, it’s my goal to write something that makes both of us feel better. Other people may tell us that our multipotentiality stems from the need to achieve—instead of an intrinsic motivation to endlessly explore our passions—but a wise person once told me to “invite myself to the party.” So let me tell you why you are invited to this multipotentialite party, even if you are the wrong kind. And if you can’t find anyone to talk to at this party, come sit by me.

The upsides

If people make fun of you because you’re a multipotentialite with a resume as long as your arm, tell them (a) to mind their own business, and (b) there is a method to your madness. 

But mostly, tell them to mind their business.

Your achievements are artifacts

What if your epic resume is a way to see your complexity and magic reflected on paper? Maybe for you, looking at a record of the things you’ve explored over the years is a way to savour those experiences, giving you another little boost of joy as you remember what it was like to be in that headspace. It allows you to look back fondly on the way a particular passion consumed your mind or gripped your heart until you felt compelled to bring something into this world. Be proud of that multipotentialite yearbook. 

Maybe having a record of things you’ve done in the past helps you to let go of old pursuits and clear up some headspace to pursue the new passions you encounter. After all, you can always revisit them later. If you’re like me, you’re into narratives. So you might enjoy the way you can choose from your past projects to tell the story of who you are today and how you ended up there, knowing that you’ll probably be somewhere (or someone) else tomorrow. Looking at all that I’ve done in the past gives me the courage to be even bolder every day about showing my authentic self to the world: “Wow, I forgot that I was a collections agent for a year. Talking to adults used to fill me with fear, and now I use my voice every day without (much) trembling!”

Overachieving multipotentialites are leaders

I define leadership broadly, as simply being what’s needed when it’s not already there. That’s certainly how a lot of my volunteer and work accomplishments ended up on my resume. Embrace it. We need more visionaries like you who see how the world could be different, communicate that glorious vision, recruit others to join your cause…and also get down into the mud and do the work that’s necessary to change the world.

The shadow sides

If we can be real for a second, sometimes multipotentiality can feel like a hunger that can never be satisfied. There are two factors I had to work through to find peace again about who I am and my drive to keep adding accomplishments to my list. I am not a clinician, so I’ll preface this by saying that it is so important to seek out professional support if you are feeling this way. I did.

Explore mindfulness

I know, I know. I was skeptical too. Deep breathing? How’s that going to help? But there was a point that I was so anxious that I stopped being able to sleep for a month. When my new therapist suggested mindfulness meditation for my “anxiety”, I corrected her to tell her that I actually had already been diagnosed with depression. She gently encouraged me to try it anyway.

I started taking the time to breathe and pay attention to my thoughts without judgment. This allowed me to coexist with those thoughts, without them ruining my day. Here I’m referring to  the thoughts that try to trick me into pursuing another multipotentialite passion that is more about fearing a lack of credentials (see my next factor) and less about loving my ever-curious self. Now I can meet those thoughts with kindness, and wave goodbye as they fade out without affecting my decisions.

Raise your critical consciousness

The second factor I had to understand and work through was the constant pressure I’ve felt since first grade (seriously, I almost failed junior kindergarten) to have the credentials to earn my place in society as a BIPOC living and working in predominantly white spaces. So often, people with marginalized identities are taught that the reason we are denied opportunities rests with the ‘fact’ that we don’t have the right credentials: “I would give this to you – I really would. It’s just that you need a…” So, a lot of my life has been a never-ending quest to earn the right to exist alongside others who have access to the opportunities that I dream of. What’s interesting, though, is that once I finally get in the door, I am often the most qualified person in the room. Can you relate? 

Know that it’s not you. It’s racism. And sexism. And homophobia. And mental illness stigma. And so many others I know you could name because you’ve experienced them more than society acknowledges. It is discrimination. If you are reading this and cannot relate, be an ally to those of us who are kept out of the room, even as we become ever more overqualified to be in the room.

You belong in the room. So celebrate!

So my ever-achieving multipotentialite friends, take heart. It’s not you, it’s them. And even if it is a little bit you, be proud of the contributions you make to this world. If the hunger for more never seems to be satisfied, reach out for support. You are not alone. Find people who lift you up and value your authentic self. (I know a place like that…) Name and celebrate your own value. Only you get to define what your multipotentiality means. What will yours be?

Your Turn

Have you ever worried you’re the wrong kind of multipotentialite? What techniques and concepts have helped you name and celebrate your value? Share your experiences in the comments!

The post Can You Be the Wrong Kind of Multipotentialite? appeared first on Puttylike.

Join Emilie for Two Free Multipotentialite Workshops

Hey everyone,

I hope you’re doing well, wherever you are in the world right now. Things are so different, right now depending on where and who you are. Just hoping you and your loved ones are safe.

I wanted to let you know about two free events that I’m co-hosting in the coming weeks. Both are with dear friends of mine, and they’re going to be fantastic. I’m letting you know a little ahead of time so you can add them to your calendar now and plan to join me live! 

The first event is for aspiring entrepreneurs and the second is for anyone looking to connect and collaborate with other friendly multipotentialites.

5 Reasons Multipods Struggle to be Entrepreneurs — & How to Do It Anyway

Monday, May 10 at 9am PDT / 12pm EDT / 6pm CEST

Cost: free

Sign up here

Been trying to get a business off the ground for months or years now, but can’t seem to make it happen? Convinced your Shiny Object Syndrome will prevent you from being a successful business owner? Do you know you want your future career to be entrepreneurial, but have no idea where to start? In this 1-hour training, you’ll learn:

Why entrepreneurship is a *great* choice for a multipod careerThe 5 things that are holding you back from opening your doorsTangible, actionable ways to work through your challenges and get to Launch Day – and beyond!Why you don’t need to niche yourself to death to become a successful entrepreneurAnything you’d like – there’ll be plenty of time for Q&A!

My good friend, Michelle Ward, will be running this workshop. I’ll be there to co-host, take your questions and maybe give my thoughts from time to time. Michelle recently shared some great advice with y’all on Puttylike. So, check that out for a preview.

The Multipotentialite Offers and Needs Market

Wednesday, May 19 at 11am PDT / 2pm EDT / 8pm CEST

Cost: free

Sign up here

The Offers and Needs Market (OANM) is a joyful, guided process where groups come together to discover and exchange their passions, knowledge, skills, resources, and needs. Whether for free, barter, or a set rate, people offer and need things like tech help, a place to live, or some extra produce.

The OANM unearths and shares the diverse forms of wealth we all have and reminds us that so much of what we need for a good life is already within our grasp.

Participants have found work, housing, new friends, a richer self-identity, and even a renewed trust in their community. Each exchange builds a connection, more connections create meaningful relationships, and the collective relationships strengthen communities — and maybe even create new ones.

The OANM is a simple, playful, and cheerful way to highlight what people can already do, and provides a positive way to short-circuit the “But we don’t have any resources!” narrative. The emphasis is on creating and sustaining a mindset of what you can do to help – and get helped – right now.

My right-hand puttypal, Joel Zaslofsky, will be facilitating this event and I’ll be the co-host. It’s totally free, but there’s only space for 60 people. Participants will have to do a bit of prep work ahead of time, but it’ll be SO worth it. This will be a truly awesome event and you’ll get to meet a bunch of rad multipotentialites!

Woo! I’m so excited about both of these events. Space is limited, so if you’d like to join, be sure to sign up soon.

Hope to see you there!

Your pal and fellow multipotentialite,

Emilie

The post Join Emilie for Two Free Multipotentialite Workshops appeared first on Puttylike.

Passing Fancy or Next Big Project? Podcasts Can Help You Decide

Before he grew wise to the notion of multipotentiality, my husband would often tease about my ever-shifting curiosities. I became familiar with the Scottish novel The Wind in the Willows because he insisted I had the same brain as the character Mr. Toad. 

Toad is an anthropomorphized wealthy frog who becomes completely obsessed with the next new thing. Toad has no shame about moving on when his latest pursuit no longer interests him—which is a skill I, myself, have yet to master. 

Mr. Toad’s buddies, Mole, Rat, and Badger worry that these obsessions will ruin the amphibian. Might I suggest that all of Toady’s animal friends take a front row seat for Emilie’s TED Talk, then mind their own paws!

I would be remiss if I did not confess that, from time to time, I too worry about my Toad-like brain. To still my mind, or help focus my attentions, I engage an assortment of activities. Meditation, conversations with trusted friends, or quiet journaling all help me prioritize and weed out the passing fancy ideas from the ones I should actually pursue. 

When I become obsessed with too many ideas and can’t let go of any of them, I use other tools to help whittle things down to achievable size. Since I lean heavily toward the sequential side of the multipotentialite spectrum, I do my best work when I embrace one idea at a time. Grabbing a few books on whatever the subject has me enraptured works. If I find my eyes constantly drifting aways from the page, then the concept is a temporary preoccupation. If I finish the book, the new interest has merit.

But reading can be time consuming. While I love to dive into a good title, there are days when the clock is ticking and I can’t sit with any book – even the ones that hold my attention. 

My husband loves a good masterclass. He’s a specialist who always has some video lesson playing to help him deepen a skill for his chosen profession. I’ve paid for my fair share of Skillshares and video courses that I don’t ever complete. I simply don’t have the discipline to stare at other people doing things that I’m not actually doing myself.

So, when I need to make a decision and I only have the capability to invest time and energy into one option, I turn to podcasts. 

I can listen in on a podcast while engaging other responsibilities—washing the dinner dishes, walking my dogs, or shampooing my growing collection of wigs. I head to my chosen platform, type in my latest craze—be it sustainable farming or sound bathing, textile design or teaching others to design a life they’ll love—and tune in. 

Listening to folks who are already knee-deep in the profession or hobby that sparks my curiosity allows me to get a sense of the pitfalls ahead or the glories that await. 

I tend to plunge into podcasts when my life is in need of a major pivot and I don’t know which direction will make the most sense. The last time was a couple years back, in 2019. Holland, where I live, had me head over hills in love with floral design. I listened to podcasts about running a flower business. I learned the different systems florists use to manage client projects. I discovered the many angles I could approach for a new life in flowers—buy some land and grow from seed (maybe), write about flowers and florists as a blogger (possibly), become a floral photographer (most likely to succeed).

I tried the latter option for a while. Filling my house with blooming buds, ready to make gorgeous floral portraits, I quickly discovered I was completely allergic to the most affordable and accessible varieties. Geez!

I tried working with artificial leaves and silk recreations for a while, but fake flowers just didn’t do it for me. While flower portraits were behind me, I still had my camera and needed to figure out what kind of photographer I would be. So I listened to more podcasts.

Street photographers, their practice felt too invasive. Food photography felt phony for me; I love to eat, but can’t be bothered with cooking. Documentary photography wouldn’t allow me to make things up. Who wants to live without a touch of fiction? 

After listening to a number of interviews with narrative photographers, I finally began to feel at home. I also began to abandon whatever domestic thing I was doing and purely listen whenever a podcast episode featured narrative photography. Bingo! I had uncovered my new direction.

Photos by Malika Ali Harding

Podcasts did not exist when our friend Mr. Toad graced the halls of his estate, with its magnificent collection of the latest fads. Toady had to wait for his next new thing to literally pass him by—a boat, a horse-drawn caravan, or a fancy motorcar. But you, multipotentialite friends, have the modern day benefit of the podcast.

You don’t have to settle for being a podcast listener alone. Becoming a podcaster is a cool way to explore the various topics that interest you. Three members of the Puttyverse,  co-host a podcast called The MultiPod. Hosts Ted Cragg, Vanessa Hennessey, and Flo Stummer featured Puttylike founder Emilie Wapnick in episode 069, and have profiled many other happy generalists across the dozens of episodes published since they began two years ago.

If you’re looking for more multipod-friendly content, NPR has a show called “How To Do Everything”. Their hosts cover a wide range of topics from how to open a “Velcro bag quietly” to how to “write gooder” or “how to listen to someone describe their dream.” I sent the dream episode to my spouse  

Still not sure where to go next? You can always browse podcasts to check out what’s not being done. Has your new interest already oversaturated the marketplace? Or is there a vacancy that only you can fill? Are you meshing together some unique idea that no one is really talking about yet? If yes, then you might be onto a fresh and exciting new idea. I’m already ready to tune in!

Your Turn

Have you listened to podcasts to try out a new hobby or entrepreneurial endeavor? Recommend your favorites for other multipotentialite listeners. Do you host a podcast yourself? Let us know in the comments.

Doing/being/exploring ALL THE THINGS is easier with a community!

Did you know we have a private community of hundreds of multipotentialites from around the world? We support each other, share advice and cheer each other on as we building lives and careers around ALL our passions.

We only open the doors to the ‘verse once a month, for 48 hours. Lucky for you, that’s right now! 

The post Passing Fancy or Next Big Project? Podcasts Can Help You Decide appeared first on Puttylike.

4 Ways for Busy Multipotentialites to Stay Grounded this Taurus Season

My friends, 

We are about to enter Taurus season: the period from April 20 to May 20, where the Sun passes through the sign of nourishing food and steady vibes.

As multipotentialites, we can learn a lot from this particular sign. And anyone can tap into the energy of Taurus season, even if we don’t have any natal planets there.

Out of all the signs of the zodiac, Taurus might be the one that appears, at first glance, to be the least puttylike in nature. It’s fixed earth. It moves slowly and solidly, grows and cultivates over time, takes a while to get started and stays on task throughout.

This energy may not be the first thing you think of when you think about multipods…but that’s exactly why we need it! Remember when we discussed multipotentialite romantic partnerships? So many of you said your specialist partner was like your rock—a consistent, stable, loving force that you could return to after a day of exploring ALL THE THINGS.

That physical and emotional security is Taurean energy, and it’s something we can cultivate within ourselves–not in lieu of our multiplicity, but in support of it.

Here are four areas to focus on this Taurus season (or anytime) to help you feel more grounded and supported so that you can be your biggest, bestest multipotentialite self.

1. Lean on your rituals and routines

One of the best ways to feel like you’re moving forward, especially during stressful or weird times, is to stick to some daily rituals and routines.

Multipotentialites have an interesting relationship with time management. Having a lot of structure in our day can help us make progress on our goals. Too much structure makes us feel creatively constrained, and we want to rebel. We all need to figure out our own right balance between structure and freedom.

If you’re routine averse, start any new practice in small doses. Don’t meditate for an hour in the morning; start with 10 minutes. Don’t plan out eight solid hours of your day; do two pomodoros and see what happens.

Self-care and mental health rituals work the same way. Instead of committing to keeping your space clutter-free at all times, just start by making your bed every morning. It’s amazing how a small practice like this can help you feel less anxious.

When it comes down to it, Taurus loves a routine. (Do any of your Taurus friends have favourite meals that they return to again and again? Common Taurean behavior. ). Routine is a way to build comfort and security, which is super handy when you have a bunch of things on the go. Even if you aren’t a big planner, having some daily touch points, however small, can help you cultivate steadiness as you shift between your many projects and roles.

2. Seek out gentle accountability

The best accountability buddies cheer you on and celebrate your small wins with you. They ask you what tiny actions you’re going to complete this week but don’t get angry or shame you if you fall short. When your plans change, they understand and pivot with you. And they instinctively know when to push a little and when to let you completely diverge from a path you’ve previously decided on.

A good accountability partner can help you build momentum, grow and cultivate your projects. This is peak Taurus goodness. And FYI, Taurus energy doesn’t just push on indefinitely. When the growth is complete, the project is over. Taurus gets this.
You can, of course, seek out your own accountability buddy or group. But if you’d like a little help finding another multipotentialite to team up with, we offer accountability matchmaking in the Puttyverse community.

3. Beautify your spaces to boost creativity

The sign of Taurus is ruled by the planet Venus. Venus harmonizes and brings disparate things together (what’s more multipod than that?!). Venus longs for beauty, comfort and deep connecting with loved ones. It adores good food, plants, natural fabrics and warm baths.

This Venusian energy can help us get into a flow state more easily. Take some time every now and then to make your workspace more comfortable and inspiring. Are you physically comfortable when you work? Is there a lot of clutter in your peripheral vision? Could you add a nice plant to your desk or some artwork to the walls?

Focusing—even a little—on the look and feel of our surroundings can have a massive impact on our creativity and emotional wellbeing.

4. Take breaks

Taurus loves a good nap. And a good (covid-safe) hangout with a friend. And a delicious snack.

Do it. Take the breaks. Chill out from time to time. Naps are a subversive act and a middle finger to capitalism, so take ’em whenever you can! Life hasn’t been easy lately, so don’t stress if you’re not able to focus as much as in the pre-pandemic days. 

Finally, don’t forget that just because you’re a multipotentialite who wants to do a lot of different things, that doesn’t mean you have to do them all at the same time. That’s actually a recipe for disaster (aka massive overwhelm)!

Taurus teaches us to slow down and be present with each of our passions. You don’t have to rush through them. As long as you keep a log of the ideas and curiosities you’d like to explore in the future, they’ll all still be there waiting for you.

Your Turn

How do you create stability and cultivate growth in your creative life? Share your suggestions in the comments below. Happy Taurus season, everyone!

The post 4 Ways for Busy Multipotentialites to Stay Grounded this Taurus Season appeared first on Puttylike.

What an Artificial Intelligence Taught Me about Perfectionism

Every now and then I get sick of the fact that all my goals are massive, overwhelming and scary. It’d be nice to just achieve something, for once. So I had an idea for a small, mini-project to help me recharge, and I thought it’d be fun to share the whole journey with you.

To date, I’ve written over one hundred articles for Puttylike. And I’ve been curious about computer-generated writing for years. So here’s the plan: I’m going to feed all my articles into an Artificial Intelligence and see if computers can learn to write like I do. I’m no expert in AI… but that’s precisely what makes this idea so enticing.

Stage zero: Expectations

One of the reasons my projects often balloon in scope is that I can’t bear the thought of doing anything imperfectly. So I’m consciously releasing myself from perfection before I even start. 

Ideally, my new AI friend will auto-generate a complete and comprehensible article, filled with pearls of wisdom and hilarious wit. But just generating anything would be an achievement. The aim for this mini-project is simply to have fun while creating something.

My mantra will be this: something imperfect that exists is better than something perfect that doesn’t!

Stage one: Learning

Mini-projects inevitably involve a lot of learning. A quick search reveals what I don’t know about AI text generation, which – it turns out – is a lot! 

Happily, I always find the revealing-my-vast-ignorance-to-myself stage of projects enjoyable.

My initial plan is to harness the power of the biggest, coolest beast in the world of AI text generation: GPT3. This network generates impressively human-seeming output in all kinds of areas. Check out the poem it wrote — it’s called “Future Consensus Forecasts” by Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System:

No one knows what will come
Forecasts foretell a rise in power
That is probably not to be
Deficit of several lines
The golden future has tourniquets
No one likes it

Sure, it’s nonsense, but it’s fun. I’m already anticipating what GPT3 will make out of my writing. 

Unfortunately, I hit an immediate stumbling block: GPT3 isn’t fully open to the public. 

And while filling in the form to join the waitlist, I decide that “automating my Puttylike articles” is probably not a good enough reason to make it into their exclusive program.

Stage one-and-a-bit: Relearning

Trial and error is inevitable. My first idea didn’t work out, so I’ll find another way.

More googling reveals that it’s (relatively) easy to train your own neural network on some text. I won’t go too deeply into the technicalities, but the basic idea is that the network runs some advanced mathematics on whatever you feed it, and it figures out how to come up with new stuff that’s similar.

The disadvantage of doing this myself is that my network will lack the enormous power and sophistication of GPT3. I’m much more likely to end up with a bunch of nonsensical sentences than a plausible article which imitates my style.

However, the advantage is that this is actually physically possible, which is a strong enough reason to go for it. (Something imperfect that exists is better than something perfect that doesn’t!)

I found a tutorial which passes my Useful Learning Test — i.e. it contains mostly things I already know and a small amount of things I don’t — and I’m going to go try it immediately.

Stage two: Experimentation

As I write, a neural network is training itself on a small amount of test data. This is extremely exciting!

I’m watching this progress bar right now:

One yardstick for the power of these networks is their number of parameters, which is a bit like the size of their brains. My little home-made AI has a grand total of 2,939,141 parameters. Sounds good, right? Well, for comparison, GPT3 has over 175 billion parameters.

A quick glance at animal brain size shows that GPT3 apparently has more parameters than human brains have neurons, while my network has the comparative mental power of…a guppy. 

Unfortunately, even with this modest start, the test training will apparently take around 30 minutes on my machine. This is mildly concerning. At this speed, it looks like I might have to train the network on my articles for several days–once I’ve validated this actually works. 

I could spend some money and figure out how to get this running faster on the cloud, or do some magic to speed up the computations, but ‘imperfection is okay’.

Meanwhile, the training has completed. Let’s see the results.

Stage three: Doing

The test data worked. Well, sort of. Here’s what I get back out of it when I ask for a new sentence:

Hovered ice fish could procured thus cut chief article maintenance triumph enemy increased difficulty …

It goes on like this for quite a while. It seems I have not yet replaced myself with a robot guppy.

I’m actually really happy with this result. I barely trained it — on the wrong data — and it came up with…some complete gibberish. But it’s basically what I expected. 

In theory, I can now train it on the right data and for a proper length of time, and then I will discover what an AI makes out of the totality of my Puttylike articles.

I love these moments in a project. Realizing this is actually possible is so exciting!

And with that, I’ll set it training on the real data. See you soon.

Stage four: Results

Welcome back!

Imagine doing nothing but reading my blog posts for days on end. I’ve thought about what that would feel like as I watched the progress bars gradually tick back and forth for the last three days.

Let’s see what effect it had on my AI. 

AI, give me a sentence.

non fiction writer world might custard physics mental health writer realised sime shings shings shings shings shings

Oh wow. I mean. It’s, uh… certainly grasped something of the subjects I tend to mention. I’m not sure it has quite captured my writing style. But let’s try again, I suppose:

television actually paid attention experience might go something like joylessly scroll option shings shings shings shings shings shings shings shings shings shings

Hmmm. Well…

I see the AI has at least nailed my famous catchphrase, shings shings shings shings shings.  Although I think my delivery is better.

Let’s go one more time. Maybe this glitch doesn’t always happen?

scared fine super touch emotions identified dealt usual fears realised part us terrified caging for get sime shings shings shings

Well, fair enough. I can’t disagree.

Stage five: Concluding

Was this project worth several days of my life?

I find this question impossible to answer. As always, I went in with hopes and dreams and a whole lot of ignorance. I learned plenty in the process (in particular, I learned how to teach a computer to repeatedly say “shings”), and I had a lot of fun documenting the journey.

Honestly, the results aren’t what I hoped for, but I suppose I knew that training my own network (potentially wrongly!) was always going to be worse than using a ‘real’ one. Maybe I’ll return to this project someday, if I manage to get access to GPT3 or a similar technology.

Or, maybe I’ll learn more about training networks and figure out how to make this one smarter! Perhaps instead of the brain size of a guppy I could try one the size of a mongoose! Or instead of training it on my own computer I’ll use some cloud computer to run 24/7 for a week. Or maybe…

You know what? Any project that ends with me filled with enthusiasm and brimming with ideas of how to improve it in the future is a success.

And one thing I’ve always said about success is, sime shings shings shings shi

Your Turn

Have you experimented with any cool little projects lately? Or are there any you’ve been dying to try? What’s something achievable you could have fun with now? Why don’t you comment below and shings?

The post What an Artificial Intelligence Taught Me about Perfectionism appeared first on Puttylike.

The Stars Will Never Align. Don’t Wait to Start.

Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.

Earl Nightingale

Did you keep track of how much time passed while you read that quote? I’m guessing you didn’t, because I’m assuming you’re normal. Anyway time did pass and whether it was a few seconds, or a minute because you reread it a few times, we are now in the future.

It’s said that time waits for no one, but sometimes we find ourselves waiting for time. It’s like there’s a bunch of ducks  in our minds, and we’re waiting for them to all line up before we get up and go do that big thing we’ve been wanting to do.

I do this on a fairly regular basis. In fact, I recently found myself waiting for time (and everything else) to be just right before I got off my duff and hit the bricks. Literally.

Running away from running

Many years ago, I was a regular runner. Our family lived in Washington, DC where the narrow streets and beautiful scenery were perfect for long, early morning runs. After my wife had a baby and we made a cross-country move, I got out of the habit.

My running shoes were crushed in the back of the closet behind keepsake boxes, out of sight and out of mind. After a dozen years of abstinence, I decided that it was time to get back on the road. I missed the dopamine, sure, but I also missed the feeling of accomplishment and the bonus benefit of heart health.

Before dusting off my shoes, I naturally decided that I would start running again when our finances were better.

If that sentence threw you, I get it. It makes no sense. What does one have to do with the other? I had decent enough shoes. I wasn’t confined under house arrest with an ankle monitor. In reality, there was nothing materially standing in my way of pounding the pavement and manufacturing all those wonderful mood-lifting brain chemicals. I had created my own nonsensical diversion.

Instead of running, I threw myself into work. On some level, I figured that the harder I hustled, the faster I would get to a place where I “could” start running again. The thing is, I had it all backwards. I wasted a lot of time being stressed out and waiting until circumstances were just perfect. As you can probably guess, that perfection never arrived.

Baby steps

One day, I decided that I had been cooped up at home too long and went for a walk. As I walked, I thought about my financial situation. Even though it wasn’t improving quickly, my hustling was bearing some fruit. When I got home, I felt a little better about my situation. Less stressed. I started making regular walks a part of my life. The more I did it, the more I realized that putting off running until my money situation was fixed was making me more stressed and less effective at solving my problems.

So I actually started running again. Sure, I started slow. My body was a dozen years older, and took some time to agree that we should be moving like that on purpose. The regular practice of running helped me get to a mental place where I could take a birds-eye view of my financial issues. I realized that these struggles were going to be around for a while, and gave myself permission to do the things I want to do in the meantime.

The moral here is not that we should all start running – I wouldn’t do that to you. As multipods, we often find ourselves looking forward to the next thing we want to accomplish, learn or simply try. If you’re like me, you frequently put that next thing on a high shelf until all conditions are copasetic. I’m here to break it to you, gently, that that will never happen. The stars won’t align before you take any action.

Just dip your toe in

What if, instead of putting that thing away completely, you could break it off into little chunks? For example, say you’d like to live as an ex-pat in Croatia. The problem is, you don’t have any contacts there, you don’t speak a lick of Croatian, and you’re upside-down on your mortgage. Rather than tabling your emigration plan until those things resolve themselves (they never will), take some baby steps toward your thing.

Why not dip your toe in the big pond that is Twitter and meet some Croatian ex-pats? Or any ex-pats. Or someone named Pat. The point is, while you’re waiting around for the perfect conditions to allow you to say Dovidenja to your current country, you could immerse yourself in All Things Croatian. The time is going to pass anyway.

It’s possible that while you’re taking those baby steps into your next thing, you’ll discover that maybe you’re not so ga-ga over the idea anymore. That’s okay. In fact, it’s common for multipotentialites to experience that feeling. It comes with the territory. If you start feeling uninspired about your big next thing, you could also put it to the side for a while. There will be another next thing right around the corner, or perhaps already queued up and ready for you to explore.

But if you are still passionate about your new thing, don’t let time pass while you wait on a park bench for the perfect conditions to walk by. I’ll leave you with a quote by Haruki Murakami:

“Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting.“

Actually, while appropriate, I can’t leave you with that. How about something a little more uplifting:

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.

Marthe Troly-Curtin, Phrynette Married

Your Turn

Is there a fabulous adventure, dream project, or simple daily practice you’ve been putting off starting? What are the stories you tell yourself to delay getting started?

The post The Stars Will Never Align. Don’t Wait to Start. appeared first on Puttylike.