Gary Allen's Blog, page 25
September 20, 2011
Sites for Food Writers, October 2011
Granny Smith Apples, Rhinebeck, New YorkWe're on the cusp of September and October, when the bright flavors of summer produce are still available and the deeper ones of Autumn are just beginning to appear -- it's a great time to be visiting farmer's markets and roadside fruit stands.
Regular subscribers to our updates newsletter receive these updates from our blog, Just Served, directly -- but there is much more at the blog that isn't sent automatically. We understand that many (OK, most) folks have better things to do with their time than wade through countless unwanted e-missives, so we don't add ours to that pile. One of these uncalled-for tales, "Chili Cook-off Judge," appeared last month. We really like chili… but it is possible to overdo it. We also entered an essay, "On the Cheap," in a contest over at Snooth, and actually won a prize -- despite knowing very little about wine. However... should you feel an inexplicable craving for exactly the sort of self-indulgent claptrap we periodically post, you can satisfy that urge at Just Served. If you don't want to wait for this newsletter to hear about such postings, you can follow us on Facebook, or Twitter.
In other news, the edited text, illustrations, and captions for Herbs: A Global History are done, and staff at Reaktion (the publisher) is hard at work laying out the book. The galleys should arrive shortly -- then all there is for us to do is wait for publication in the Spring (well, almost all... we are at work on another book for Reaktion's Edible Series, this time on sausage).
"A Quiet Little Table in the Corner" is now part of the On The Table site. At the moment, it's an annotated ("annotated" being used, naturally, in its least academic sense) directory of our writings -- mostly on other people's sites.
Leitesculinaria is still in the process of reposting, sometimes -- with shiny new updates and edits -- some of our older articles. The entire list of our currently-posted LeitesCulinaria articles is available here, along with several other articles on food history & science.
We must be feeling strangely spiritual -- or so it would seem from these selections that are soon to be added to On the Table's culinary quote pages.
"Gluttony is ranked with the deadly sins; it should be honored among the cardinal virtues." Elizabeth Robins Pennell
"God doesn't care what you eat." Martin Luther
"God, yeah. If you had your beloved pet murdered, the least you can do is eat it." Johnny, Lord Acton (when asked if he ate the pigs he raised)
Gary
October, 2011
PS: If you encounter broken links, changed URLs -- or know of wonderful sites we've missed -- please drop us a line. It helps to keep this resource as useful as possible for all of us. To those of you who have suggested sites -- thanks, and keep them coming!
PPS: If you wish to change the e-mail address at which you receive these newsletters, or otherwise modify the way you receive our postings, go here.
PPPS: If you've received this newsletter by mistake, and/or don't wish to receive future issues, you have our sincere apology and can have your e-mail address deleted from the list immediately. We're happy (and, frankly, incredulous) that so few people have decided to leave the list -- but, should you choose to be one of them, let us know and we'll see that your in-box is never afflicted by these updates again. You can unsubscribe here.
----the new sites----
American Cookery by Amelia Simmons
(full text of the first US cookbook)
Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion
(all sorts of nutritional information, including demographics and economics)
Chefs Move to Schools
(USDA program to "...help chefs partner with interested schools in their communities")
Choose My Plate
(the replacement for the old food pyramid)
Ein Buch von Guter Spise
(Alia Atlas's translation of the fourteenth-century German cookbook)
Food Rules
("Once the province of how-to cooking shows, food media has extended its reach -- but has it become too big?" Lorraine Ali's article in Adweek)
Future of World Food and Nutrition Security, The
(from the International Fund for Agricultural Development, IFAD)
Guide to Federal Records
(how to search US government archives)
Six recipes from The Medieval Kitchen
(Edward Schneider's translation of a book by Odile Redon, Françoise Sabban, & Silvano Serventi)
----changed URLs----
Basil
Chocolate Traveller Magazine, The
Eye on Nutrition
Food Security Learning Center
International Food Information Council Foundation, The (IFIC)
Organic Nutritional Advantages Questioned Again
Ravensgard Food and Culinary Arts
Research Resources
Short History of Spice Trading, A
Sweet Oranges: The Biogeography of Citrus sinensis
Wheat People: Celebrating Kansas Harvest
----how-to blogs----
Blog posts about blogging -- and writing, design, photography, promotion, and ethics -- can help us become better, and possibly more successful, writers (i.e., having more people read our stuff). Here're a recent favorite:
What's Behind the Food Photography Trend?
----yet another blog----
Meera's Blog
----that's all for now----
Except, of course, for the usual legalistic mumbo-jumbo and commercial flim-flam:
Your privacy is important to us. We will not give, sell or share your e-mail address with anyone, for any purpose -- ever. Nonetheless, we will expose you to the following irredeemably brazen plugs:
Our books, The Resource Guide for Food Writers, The Herbalist in the Kitchen, The Business of Food: Encyclopedia of the Food And Drink Industries, and Human Cuisine can be ordered through the Libro-Emporium.
Here endeth the sales pitch(es)...
...for the moment, anyway.
_______________
"The Resource Guide for Food Writers, Update #132" is protected by copyright, and is provided at no cost, for your personal use only. It may not be copied or retransmitted unless this notice remains affixed. Any other form of republication -- unless with the author's prior written permission -- is strictly prohibited.
Copyright (c) 2011 by Gary Allen.
September 6, 2011
Chili Cook-off Judge
Recently, we've been corresponding with Gina Hyams, who is working on a project involving chili cook-offs. It reminded us that we once acted as a judge in one of these traveling side shows (we almost typed "floating crap game," but thought better of it -- for reasons that might become obvious later). We had this opportunity because of the intercession of Chef Jim Heywood, known far and wide as the purveyor of Big Jim's Hogbreath Chili. Jim is so renowned that Paul Bocuse once referred to him as LE ROI DU CHILI.
(and yes, before you ask, great chefs DO speak in All Caps)
We could go on for some time about Big Jim, but this is a family-oriented site (OK, vaguely family-oriented). Big Jim's language, while colorful and extremely amusing, is not well-suited for the kind of dignified audience that frequents these pages.
After our judicial experience, we jotted down some notes -- so that anyone who was curious about the inside workings of these events, or might even be considering participating in one, could make a more informed decision. Those jottings follow, forthwith.
__________
Beer is free for judges -- a keg from a local microbrewery was provided. This, no doubt, is supposed to ensure the proper judicial objectivity. There was some idle talk about "cleansing the palate," but everyone seemed to understand that this smokescreen was used in approximately the same manner in which incumbents talk about term limits.
The actual judging was simple: First, judges were not allowed to eat chili before the judging (this is so that they can actually stand the stuff). There were thirty-five little numbered buckets o' chili, divided between two tables. Each judge got a score sheet. The chili was anonymous; the ballots were not. Irate chili-cooks may track down any judge at their leisure and wreck what vengeance they will.
Anyway, the judges write down their impressions: "too greasy," "too salty," "habaneros, while piquant, are not classic," "meat cut irregularly" -- note that ground meat or beans are automatic disqualifiers -- "too soupy," "too dry," "off color," "only a gender-challenged Yankee (or someone from Cincinnati) would be foolish enough to add cinnamon to chili," "smells strangely of burning rubber," and "what the hell is that kiwi doin' in there?" -- refined analysis of that sort.
We circled the tables a coupla' times, being careful not to actually retch over the bad ones. Supposedly, this was meant to avoid influencing the other judges -- but it was really so that we would not be alone in the emergency room for the post-game show. At the end, the judges indicated (at the bottom of the form, between the grease stains) which three they disliked least.
That's all there was to it -- except to stop for a bit more palate-cleansing, and bolt for the Port-o-sans, upending the occasional baby buggy, as necessary.
(and yes, before you ask, great chefs DO speak in All Caps)
We could go on for some time about Big Jim, but this is a family-oriented site (OK, vaguely family-oriented). Big Jim's language, while colorful and extremely amusing, is not well-suited for the kind of dignified audience that frequents these pages.
After our judicial experience, we jotted down some notes -- so that anyone who was curious about the inside workings of these events, or might even be considering participating in one, could make a more informed decision. Those jottings follow, forthwith.
__________
Beer is free for judges -- a keg from a local microbrewery was provided. This, no doubt, is supposed to ensure the proper judicial objectivity. There was some idle talk about "cleansing the palate," but everyone seemed to understand that this smokescreen was used in approximately the same manner in which incumbents talk about term limits.
The actual judging was simple: First, judges were not allowed to eat chili before the judging (this is so that they can actually stand the stuff). There were thirty-five little numbered buckets o' chili, divided between two tables. Each judge got a score sheet. The chili was anonymous; the ballots were not. Irate chili-cooks may track down any judge at their leisure and wreck what vengeance they will.
Anyway, the judges write down their impressions: "too greasy," "too salty," "habaneros, while piquant, are not classic," "meat cut irregularly" -- note that ground meat or beans are automatic disqualifiers -- "too soupy," "too dry," "off color," "only a gender-challenged Yankee (or someone from Cincinnati) would be foolish enough to add cinnamon to chili," "smells strangely of burning rubber," and "what the hell is that kiwi doin' in there?" -- refined analysis of that sort.
We circled the tables a coupla' times, being careful not to actually retch over the bad ones. Supposedly, this was meant to avoid influencing the other judges -- but it was really so that we would not be alone in the emergency room for the post-game show. At the end, the judges indicated (at the bottom of the form, between the grease stains) which three they disliked least.
That's all there was to it -- except to stop for a bit more palate-cleansing, and bolt for the Port-o-sans, upending the occasional baby buggy, as necessary.
August 31, 2011
On Sweetening Tainted Meat
(with a tip of the beret to The Old Foodie)
Back in 1824, when most of us didn't have refrigerators, there were times when the chops we were planning to have for dinner might have gone off a bit.
Taking them out to the backyard for a short eulogy -- and a longer dirt nap—might seem like the appropriate response today, but in Jolly Old England they had other plans. Egerton Smith advised—in his weekly paper, The Kaleidoscope; or, Literary and Scientific Mirror -- that he had found, "by many experiments, that meat entirely fly-blown has been sufficiently purified to make good broth, and had not a disagreeable taste, by being previously put into a vessel containing a certain quantity of beer."
I sometimes (and others, frequently) consider me, the utterly-uncredentialled Dr Sanscravat, to be tainted meat. Would Smith's methods serve to sweeten me?
Soaking in beer surely seems worth a try.
Among the shortcomings of antiquated receipts of this sort is their regrettable penchant for vagueness. Really, now, "a certain quantity?"
What sort of measurement is that?
In the interest of science, I believe it only prudent to approach the experiment in a modern quantitative manner, and to add said beer, one pint at a time, until the desired level of sweetness is obtained.
_______
Editor's Note: The "doctor" promised to document every stage of his experiment and submit a full report, forthwith. However, the last time he conducted a similar experiment, with much the same set of intentions, he was but eighteen years old, and kept no notes whatsoever. He did, what's more, amuse/dismay his entire collection of of aunts with a protracted series of heaves -- dry and otherwise -- at a huge family picnic.
Back in 1824, when most of us didn't have refrigerators, there were times when the chops we were planning to have for dinner might have gone off a bit.
Taking them out to the backyard for a short eulogy -- and a longer dirt nap—might seem like the appropriate response today, but in Jolly Old England they had other plans. Egerton Smith advised—in his weekly paper, The Kaleidoscope; or, Literary and Scientific Mirror -- that he had found, "by many experiments, that meat entirely fly-blown has been sufficiently purified to make good broth, and had not a disagreeable taste, by being previously put into a vessel containing a certain quantity of beer."
I sometimes (and others, frequently) consider me, the utterly-uncredentialled Dr Sanscravat, to be tainted meat. Would Smith's methods serve to sweeten me?
Soaking in beer surely seems worth a try.
Among the shortcomings of antiquated receipts of this sort is their regrettable penchant for vagueness. Really, now, "a certain quantity?"
What sort of measurement is that?
In the interest of science, I believe it only prudent to approach the experiment in a modern quantitative manner, and to add said beer, one pint at a time, until the desired level of sweetness is obtained.
_______
Editor's Note: The "doctor" promised to document every stage of his experiment and submit a full report, forthwith. However, the last time he conducted a similar experiment, with much the same set of intentions, he was but eighteen years old, and kept no notes whatsoever. He did, what's more, amuse/dismay his entire collection of of aunts with a protracted series of heaves -- dry and otherwise -- at a huge family picnic.
August 30, 2011
Food Sites for September 2011
Fresh Peaches, Rhinebeck, NYAs we write this, August is coming to an end and -- while we're not yet tired of fresh corn and tomatoes -- glowing peaches are the darlings of the moment. Peach Gelato. Habanero Peach Preserves. Peach Chutney. We've made them all, and Grilled Peaches can't be far away. At the same time, we know we're on the threshold of September and fall produce and flavors -- perhaps those grilled peaches should have some cinnamon to foreshadow the seasonal change? Maybe some more peach preserves, this time with crystallized ginger?
Regular subscribers to our updates newsletter receive these updates from our blog, Just Served, directly -- but there is much more at the blog that isn't sent automatically. We understand that many (OK, most) folks have better things to do with their time than wade through countless unwanted e-missives, so we don't add ours to that pile. One of these uncalled-for tales, "On Eating Raccoon," appeared last month. It's not likely to make Raccoon Ragu a culinary fad. "Criminal, Really Criminal" does not really concern food writers, but does address the writing skills of some of our colleagues. However... should you feel an inexplicable craving for exactly the sort of self-indulgent claptrap we periodically post, you can satisfy that urge at Just Served . If you don't want to wait for this newsletter to hear about such postings, you can follow us on Facebook, or Twitter
"A Quiet Little Table in the Corner" is an annotated ("annotated" being used, naturally, in its least academic sense) directory of our writings -- mostly on other people's sites.
Leitesculinaria is still in the process of reposting, sometimes -- with shiny new updates and edits -- some of our older articles. The entire list of our currently-posted LeitesCulinaria articles is available here, along with several other articles on food history & science.
Finally, just in case you thought we haven't paid quite enough attention to a certain fruit, here're some peachy musings -- on, or soon to be added to, On the Table's culinary quote pages.
"One does a whole painting for one peach and people think just the opposite -- that particular peach is but a detail." Pablo Picasso
"The ripest peach is highest on the tree." James Whitcomb Riley
"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education." Mark Twain
And something to listen to, if you're so inclined: "Peaches en regalia" (Frank Zappa, from Hot Rats)
Gary
September, 2011
PS: If you encounter broken links, changed URLs -- or know of wonderful sites we've missed -- please drop us a line. It helps to keep this resource as useful as possible for all of us. To those of you who have suggested sites -- thanks, and keep them coming!
PPS: If you wish to change the e-mail address at which you receive these newsletters, or otherwise modify the way you receive our postings, go here .
PPPS: If you've received this newsletter by mistake, and/or don't wish to receive future issues, you have our sincere apology and can have your e-mail address deleted from the list immediately. We're happy (and continuously amazed) that so few people have decided to leave the list -- but, should you choose to be one of them, let us know and we'll see that your in-box is never afflicted by these updates again. You can unsubscribe here.
----the new sites----
Aesthetes and Eaters
(special issue of Invisible Culture on food in, and as, art)
Astor Center
(a place for food and wine lectures, demonstrations and conferences; "...a new approach to education, a new way of exchanging ideas, a new forum for discussing that which brings us together around the table")
Elizabethan Homebrewing
(typically well-researched and documented account from the Society for Creative Anachronism)
Food Republic
(e-zine that "...explores the new culture of food through stories, interviews, global conversations, and experiences")
Food in Tudor England
(just one of many topics in this site devoted to Tudor History)
Food in Tudor Times
(part of a collection of British curricular support documents)
Fooles and Fricassees: Food in Shakespeare's England
(article accompanying an exhibit held, in 1999, at the Folger Shakespeare Library)
Gazzetta Gastronomica
(online magazine of Italian cooking; in Italian)
Jacobean Food
(spit food, pies and chewitts, wafers, ices, and cordials from the time of James I)
Poison Party
(Anastacia Marx de Salcedo's article, in Slate, on why spoiled food doesn't necessarily cause food poisoning, and that the foods that do, don't necessarily taste dangerous)
Pyramid and Protein
(how, and what, did Egyptian royalty feed all those pyramid builders?)
Specialty Produce Daily, The
(a compendium of what's new and noteworthy in the food blog world)
What We Eat in America
(nutritional database, covering foods and supplements, from the USDA)
----changed URLs----
100 Top Restaurant Review Sites For Restaurateurs
cdkitchen.com
Chowhound
Cookbooks Online
Cyber-Kitchen Recipe Archives
Food & Drink
Foodieview
Frogmore Stew and Other Lowcountry Recipes
Sausage Recipes
Wine Taster's Glossary, A
----how-to blogs----
Blog posts about blogging -- and writing, design, photography, promotion, and ethics -- can help us become better, and possibly more successful, writers (i.e., having more people read our stuff). Here're some recent favorites:
Coin of the Food Realm
Digital Food Photography
Star Wars and Photography
Whither the Cookbook?
----yet more blogs----
Culinary Librarian, The
Delicious Prose
Feiring Line, The
it!: Food Meditation
Matt Bites
Plain But Wholesome: Adventures in Mormon Pioneer Food
Recent College Grad's Guide to Wine, The
She Simmers
----that's all for now----
Except, of course, for the usual legalistic mumbo-jumbo and commercial flim-flam:
Your privacy is important to us. We will not give, sell or share your e-mail address with anyone, for any purpose -- ever. Nonetheless, we will expose you to the following irredeemably brazen plugs:
Our books, The Resource Guide for Food Writers, The Herbalist in the Kitchen, The Business of Food: Encyclopedia of the Food And Drink Industries, and Human Cuisine can be ordered through the Libro-Emporium.
Here endeth the sales pitch(es)...
...for the moment, anyway.
__________
"The Resource Guide for Food Writers, Update #131" is protected by copyright, and is provided at no cost, for your personal use only. It may not be copied or retransmitted unless this notice remains affixed. Any other form of republication -- unless with the author's prior written permission -- is strictly prohibited.
Copyright (c) 2011 by Gary Allen.
August 20, 2011
Criminal, Really Criminal
One of our correspondents forwarded a list of alleged criminal acts, two of which are included below:
Bumpus, Tennessee
A bank robber in Bumpus, Tennessee, handed a teller the following note: "Watch out. This is a rubbery. I hav an oozy traned on your but. Dump the muny in a sack, this one. No die packkets or other triks or I will tare you a new naval." Dr. Creon V.B. Smyk of the Ohio Valley Educational Council says such notes are, lamentably, the rule. "Right across the board, we see poor pre-writing skills, problems with omissions, tense, agreement, spelling and clarity," he moaned. Smyk believes that the quality of robbery notes could be improved if criminals could be taught to plan before writing. "We have to stress organisation: Make an outline of your robbery note before you write it," he said. "Some of the notes get totally sidetracked on issues like the make, model and calibre of the gun, number of bullets, etc., until one loses sight of the main idea -- the robbery."
Bent Forks, Illinois
In Bent Forks, Illinois, kidnappers of ice-cube magnate Worth Bohnke sent a photograph of their captive to Bohnke's family. Bohnke was seen holding up a newspaper. It was not that day's edition and, in fact, bore a prominent headline from some years before. This was pointed out to The Kidnapers in a subsequent phone call. They responded by sending a new photograph showing an up-to-date newspaper. Bohnke, however, did not appear in the picture. When this, too, was refused, The Kidnappers became peevish and insisted that a photograph be sent to them showing all the people over at Bohnke's house holding different issues of Success magazine. They provided a mailing address and were immediately apprehended. They later admitted to FBI agents they did not understand the principle involved in the photograph/newspaper concept. "We thought it was just some kind of tradition," said one.
Educators agree that such mix-ups point to poor reasoning and comprehension skills, ignorance of current events, and failure to complete work in the time allotted.
These poor criminals are scapegoats who signify the failure of our educational system, and of the government that pays for our educational system, and of the society that pays for the government that pays for our educational system. In a sense, our democratic system guarantees that we get the kind of criminal class that we deserve.
As teachers, we have been wasting our time frittering over issues such as proper pedagogical performance, standardized testing and such. As citizens, we moan and groan (depending on our political outlook) about the over-crowding of our prisons, the escalating financial burden on the taxpayers, the disproportionate sentencing of minorities. We are harangued -- endlessly -- by politicians who want to make names for themselves over these issues, which ultimately leads to our paying more tax money for more ineffectual solutions to the problem. These seemingly disparate complaints, cutting across political demographics, can all be answered by one simple assertion: we need to keep these people out of jail.
All sorts of rehabilitation schemes, fostered by liberals and conservatives alike, have failed -- for one simple reason. We have been telling criminals what not to do. Any parent can tell you that if you order a child not to spill his chocolate milk, he will focus his entire attention on the mental picture of spilled milk -- with inevitable results. This is a pedagogical technique that is doomed to failure.
As the warden so eloquently said to Cool Hand Luke, "What we have heeya is a failya to kamoonnikate."
We have not provided them with something else to do. We have not provided them with the means to do it. Can we expect anything but failure? No, the solution lies in a totally different approach than has tried before. We must train them to be useful and productive citizens, working in their chosen professions, and above all else: keep them from returning to jail. How can we accomplish this?
Simple. We need to train them in the skills they will need to succeed. In the examples cited above, a few simple lessons in rhetoric and logic would have made all the difference. Do you see where this is going? We need, not less criminals, but better criminals -- the kind that are not constantly being caught, clogging up our judicial system. To do this, we must focus on the most needy students: those who are already incarcerated.
We can train them in the refinements of their craft, the little things that spell the difference between a Mercedes and Maximum Security. One might object that this sort of training goes on every day in the joint -- one prisoner educating another. While it is a well-intentioned start, there is a fundamental error underlying the current model. We have losers educating losers. We don't have the best-qualified teachers in place.
We need to do two things to remedy the situation. First, educational professionals need to run the programs. Trial and error are educational techniques, to be sure, but rather inefficient (unless one's goal is to maintain over-crowded prisons at their current level). Trained educators can speed the learning process in even the most challenged students. Second, since (presumably) these teachers are masters of the techniques of pedagogy, not larceny, we need to encourage the cooperation of real experts. How can we compel the better class of criminals, those who are never caught, to act as trainers for their unfortunate colleagues?
Every great artist wants recognition for his work. Let us reward the best by granting them complete immunity from prosecution in exchange for community service -- not someone else's community, but their own. Not only will this raise the standards of criminals everywhere, but it will automatically guarantee that the master criminals will never tie up our courts (and after all, the cases brought against this class of criminal are the most difficult to prove, since they are the most skilled in avoiding prosecution -- through intelligent use of alibi, prudent parsimony with incriminating evidence, as well as the judicious application of extortion, etc).
Eventually, there may be no need for prisons at all. These drains on the public purse could become self-financing institutes of higher learning, like the Harvard Business School. Talented young students could be encouraged to enroll early. This would have the added advantage of removing them from our schools, where they currently disrupt the work of non-criminal students. These non-criminals would quickly become more successful, thereby earning more money as adults, which will -- in turn -- produce better profits for the criminals.
One might argue that we would still wind up being robbed, only by thieves instead of politicians. I would counter that the skillful exercise of criminal talent is more satisfying -- even to the victim -- than the patently bogus dissimulation of professional politicians. The cost might be the same, but the quality of life would be vastly improved.
Everyone benefits in this best of all possible worlds.
August 19, 2011
On Eating Raccoon
Source: "The Coati-Mondi and its Cousins," by the Reverend S. Lockwood, PhD, in@font-face { font-family: "Times"; }@font-face { font-family: "Palatino"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }p.MsoBodyText3, li.MsoBodyText3, div.MsoBodyText3 { margin: 0in -0.5in 0.0001pt 0in; line-height: 18pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; color: blue; }span.BodyText3Char { font-family: Palatino; color: blue; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; }
Popular Science Monthly, Volume 2, December 1872
I planned to make a feast of the beast, so I took it home, skinned and dressed it (or rather, un-dressed, it; wonder why removing an animal's skin came to be considered as "dressing?") on our kitchen table. I was rather surprised -- 'though, in retrospect, I don't know why -- at how much fat there was. After trimming away most of the fat, the raccoon didn't have nearly as much meat as I had hoped. Little did I know that the limited supply of meat was a good thing.
After cooking it for some time, we dug in to our first taste of wild raccoon. Why specify "wild?" No one in his right mind would farm-raise raccoons.
First of all, they're a nasty brutish bunch who would, no doubt, prefer to eat their handlers -- or would, if they did not so much despise us.
Second, when not thinking about eating us, they would much prefer to eat our food. Or our garbage. Either way, raccoons have an innate ability to make a mess of anything we hold dear. Inviting them to be a part of our lives is just stupid. It reveals an over-weaning lack of foresight.
Third, it's one thing to raise an animal that prefers to eat as we do (pigs, for example), when the food we get in return is worth it. Few would argue that trading excess corn for bacon and pork chops is a bad idea. It's quite another to convert perfectly good food into raccoon flesh.
Raccoon, at least the one I ate, tasted like very old and stringy beef -- perhaps the dessicated flesh of some super-annuated ox, an over-worked creature who might very well have expired in mid-furrow. Aside from the poor quality of the meat, a certain amount of residual fat remained, despite my earlier efforts to remove it. This fat had the remarkable property of not melting in the mouth -- so that, long after eating the raccoon, I was convinced that someone had coated my tongue with tallow, or possibly axle-grease.
Needless to say, the raccoon tribe has been safe from my predations during the past four decades. I have not yet had, nor do I expect anytime soon to have, an urge to experience another bout of ring-tailed dyspepsia.
July 31, 2011
Food Sites for August 2011
A field of sweet corn, Hurley, NYMuch of the past month was brutally hot -- which I've used as my excuse for procrastinating on whatever passes for real work. August, which promises more of the same, is upon us but local corn and tomatoes are everywhere... and, with lots of fruit for home-made gelato, the heat doesn't seem quite so oppressive.
Regular subscribers to our updates newsletter receive these updates from our blog, Just Served, directly -- but there is much more at the blog that isn't sent automatically. We understand that many (OK, most) folks have better things to do with their time than wade through countless unwanted e-missives, so we don't add ours to that pile. One of these uncalled-for tales, A Culinary Baseball Quiz, appeared last month. There was also a rather odd love story, Wheeling, with a culinary spin. However... should you feel an inexplicable craving for exactly the sort of self-indulgent claptrap we periodically post, you can satisfy that urge at Just Served. If you don't want to wait for this newsletter to hear about such postings, you can follow us on Facebook, or Twitter.
A Quiet Little Table in the Corner has moved to a new location. At the moment, it's an annotated ("annotated" being used, naturally, in its least academic sense) directory of our writings -- mostly on other people's sites.
Leitesculinaria continues the process of reposting, sometimes -- with shiny new updates and edits -- some of our older articles. The entire list of our currently-posted LeitesCulinaria articles is available here, along with several other articles on food history & science.
Here's this month's food for thought, stolen from some of the best and brightest, and soon to be added to On the Table's culinary quote pages.
"It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato." Lewis Grizzard
"Vegetarians are people who cannot hear tomatoes screaming." Joseph Campbell
"The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves." W.C. Fields
Gary
August, 2011
PS: If you encounter broken links, changed URLs -- or know of wonderful sites we've missed -- please drop us a line. It helps to keep this resource as useful as possible for all of us. To those of you who have suggested sites -- thanks, and keep them coming!
PPS: If you wish to change the e-mail address at which you receive these newsletters, or otherwise modify the way you receive our postings, go here.
PPPS: If you've received this newsletter by mistake, and/or don't wish to receive future issues, you have our sincere apology and can have your e-mail address deleted from the list immediately. We're happy (and continuously amazed) that so few people have decided to leave the list -- but, should you choose to be one of them, let us know and we'll see that your in-box is never afflicted by these updates again. You can unsubscribe here.
----the new sites----
Caribbean Foods 101
(recipes from the Bahamas, Cuba, Haiti, Jamaica, and Puerto Rico)
Corporate Document Repository
(Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations' archive of "documents and publications, as well as selected non-FAO publications, in electronic format")
Epicurean, The
("A Complete Treatise of Analytical and Practical Studies on the Culinary Art Including Table and Wine Service, How to Prepare and Cook Dishes, an Index for Marketing, a Great Variety of Bills of Fare for Breakfasts, Luncheons, Dinners, Suppers, Ambigus, Buffets, etc., and a Selection of Interesting Bills of Fare of Delmonico's, from 1862 to 1894. Making a Franco-American Culinary Encyclopedia;" text of Charles Ranhofer's book)
European Network of Regional Culinary Heritage, The
(site promoting the local and regional foods of Scandinavia, Germany, Latvia, Lithuania, Poland and Ukraine; available in 10 languages)
Food and Beverage
(free subscriptions, for professionals, to 26 trade magazines)
Food Stories
(interactive lessons in food and culture, with sub-divided sections on major topics: Food and identity, shopping for food, food production and technology)
Historic Recipe File
(an archive of recipe clippings, 1960s through 1980s, in the Milwaukee Public Library)
MC Parma i Musei del Cibo
(four museums, devoted to Parmigiano Reggiano, tomatoes, Prosciutto di Parma, and salumi; in Italian and English)
New England Chowder Compendium, The
(scanned documents, decade by decade, from the Beatrice McIntosh Cookery Collection in the library of the University of Massachusetts)
Pulmuone Kimchi Museum
("...established in 1986 to study the culture of kimchi, the archetypal Korean food, to promote kimchi inside and outside of Korea;" in Korean and English)
Study Says Salt Intake and High Blood Pressure Not Related
(this European study does not reflect American eating habits, but is just part of the arguments for-and-against salt in the diet)
"What's Cooking, Uncle Sam?"
("The Government's Effect on the American Diet," an exhibit at the US National Archives; press release here )
----changed URLs----
Museum der Brotkultur
Nordljus
Southern Food & Beverage Museum
----how-to blogs----
Blog posts about blogging -- and related topics, such as writing, design, photography, promotion, and ethics -- can help us become better, and possibly more successful, writers (i.e., having more people read our stuff). Here's a recent favorite:
Is IACP for Food Bloggers?
----yet more blogs----
Dinners and Dreams
Good Cooking for Hard Times
Running with Tweezers
Spice Spoon, The
You Fed a Baby Chili?
----that's all for now----
Except, of course, for the usual legalistic mumbo-jumbo and commercial flim-flam:
Your privacy is important to us. We will not give, sell or share your e-mail address with anyone, for any purpose -- ever. Nonetheless, we will expose you to the following irredeemably-brazen plugs:
Our books, The Resource Guide for Food Writers, The Herbalist in the Kitchen, The Business of Food: Encyclopedia of the Food And Drink Industries, and Human Cuisine can be ordered through the Libro-Emporium.
Here endeth the sales pitch(es)...
...for the moment, anyway.
________________
"The Resource Guide for Food Writers, Update #130" is protected by copyright, and is provided at no cost, for your personal use only. It may not be copied or retransmitted unless this notice remains affixed. Any other form of republication -- unless with the author's prior written permission -- is strictly prohibited.
Copyright (c) 2011 by Gary Allen.
July 19, 2011
Wheeling
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"Sir, I have some information on that break-in at the courthouse."
"What's that? Oh, right -- the perverts. What's their story?"
"Well actually, sir, I'm not sure that I would describe them precisely as perverts."
"Really? And what would you call a pair of freaks found, practically naked, at three o'clock in the morning, in a courtroom?"
"Well sir, I think what I meant to say was that there may be more to their case than mere B & E -- or, for that matter, Indecent Exposure."
"It was all a misunderstanding, perhaps?"
"Well, no, not exactly. But I've interviewed them both and I don't think that they fit the description of our usual breed of sexual deviants. For one thing, they seem to be in love."
"Ah. That would explain why they were naked -- except for the sex-harnesses they attached to opposite ends of a courtroom."
"Belaying seats, sir."
"I certainly don't see how..."
"No, belaying seats. What they were wearing. Secured with nylon webbing slings and alloy carabiners, sir. It's pretty standard climbing gear."
"Sure. Just the sort of thing I would choose to wear on a date. Frankly, I'm having a hard time trying to avoid thinking about the sort of deviant sex act that might require such equipment."
"That's just it, sir. I don't think they intended to have sex. At least, not exactly."
"Just a young man and a maid on an innocent frolic -- that just happened to end up with the department finding them in flagrante delicto. Is that what you're saying? Sorry. A couple of twenty-year-olds found naked together in the middle of the night -- why on earth would I think that sex might be involved?"
"That's the point, sir -- sex is involved, in a way -- but not the way you think. You see, they really love each other."
"You already said that. I got it. Young innocent love. What I don't get is why the ridiculous matching S & M outfits."
"Belaying seats, sir."
"Belaying seats, then. Why the belaying seats?"
"That's what I'm trying to tell you, sir. They were not planning to have sex at all."
"What was that, some kind of weird Tantric suspension of orgasm?"
"You surprise me, sir."
"Why -- you think you're the only person who ever read a book?"
"No, not at all -- it's just that even one Tantric sexual practice seems an unlikely tidbit of information for you to know about."
"That's neither here nor there. What's the deal with the seats?"
"Well, sir, it seems that they would plan their weekends, in great detail. Each weekend was intended to be a different kind of event, part of a series of competitions of a sort, in which they competed only against themselves…"
"Like a Sexual Olympics?"
"…in which they competed only against themselves, as a team, with the goal of achieving ever higher levels of bliss. It was not exactly sexual bliss, though. It was more like they had discovered that mere sex could not adequately express their devotion to each other."
"Sounds perverted to me."
"Perhaps. I don't know. Maybe. Really, sir, you should try to see that this is not about perversion -- not, at least, the kind that you mean."
"OK, OK. I get it -- I'm the yahoo and you're the intellectual. Please, please, Professor Brain -- show me what I've been missing all my life."
"Sorry, sir, I didn't intend to sound so condescending. These 'Olympic events,' for lack of a better name, are always staged in public places -- places that have been charged with a great deal of human emotion: sports arenas, the stock exchange, dangerous intersections. They like to have their trysts 'jump-started,' as it were, by the emotional energy that they believed charged these places, even when they are abandoned. Especially when abandoned."
"Hence, the courtroom."
"Exactly."
"Do you think you might say exactly a little less often? And what special event was planned for Saturday night? What emotional heights were they planning to ascend in their belaying seats?"
"It's a little difficult to explain."
"Try me. By the way, I've noticed that you've stopped calling me 'sir.'"
"I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again, sir."
"That's alright -- it was beginning to get on my nerves anyway."
"Thank you, sir -- oh, sorry."
"No more apologies -- just tell me about the perps and their goddamn seats!"
"Of course. Well, I must begin by saying that the belaying seats were only incidental to Saturday's event."
"But that's all they were wearing!"
"Yes, but you must understand that most of the event was carried on in their heads -- physical equipment was, for the most part, unnecessary."
"I'm afraid to ask…"
"Yes, sir, I understand that this may be somewhat -- abstract -- but it is very real to our perpetrators."
"…but is this some kind of goddamn mind game? Is that what you're telling me?"
"I think that your term mind game may be apt, sir. They do compete, in a quite cerebral manner, but only against their own history of ecstatic accomplishments."
"Do you think you might be able to explain to me what they were doing, without being quite so abstract yourself?"
"I did tell you that this would be difficult, sir -- but I'll try. "
"Please do."
"Try to imagine a pair of huge, monumentally vertical, wheels, aligned facing each other, as if they were mounted on the same axle. Think of the wheels as twin Ferris wheels. In your mind, the young woman is fastened, with her climbing gear, to the top of one of these wheels. Facing her, attached to the top of the other wheel, is our young man. The two wheels are separated by a space that is roughly equivalent to the distance that separated them in the courtroom. The wheels are not locked in position, they can rotate, albeit slowly. The scene you are imagining is the one they carefully established in their own minds at the beginning of Saturday's event."
"Jesus…"
"Quite. The stage, as it were, was set. One of them, as if entertaining the other, suggested that they might have a little something to eat. No doubt, setting up these elaborate mental props engenders an appetite. You see, of course, that this appetite, imaginary as it might be, is a metaphor for the appetite they have for each other."
"…Christ…"
"They decided to cook something together. One, let us say the young woman, suggested an ingredient, say oranges. She moved her imaginary oranges to her right on the wheel. Her reaching caused the imaginary center of gravity to shift to the left, and the wheel began to turn, ever so slowly in that direction. They were moved by thinking about the complex of color and aroma and tart-sweet flavors of these virtual Valencias, just as the imaginary wheel was moved by their imaginary weight…"
"…almighty."
"…the young man suggested another ingredient, let us say basil. He placed the fresh imaginary herb, redolent of clove and cinnamon and mint, to his left. They savored the effect of that ensemble of scents, how they combined with and informed the dish of imaginary oranges. His motion, like hers, caused his wheel to begin to rotate slowly, but to his right. The two wheels were slowly, majestically turning, in unison, moved, in a sense, by their warming passion…"
"I knew there'd be sex in this someplace."
"…they inhaled deeply, the warm organoleptic confluence of fictional flavors infusing them with a kind of charmed glow that they could never attain through mere sexuality. She gazed across the space between them, first suggesting, then besprinkling some virtual pinenuts. Her wheel accelerated slightly, as they felt the tender resistance of the tiny kernels, the rich, round, fatty sweetness and faintly resinous perfume of the toasted nuts. The heady mixture of orange and basil, was filled out, made substantive by this seemingly whimsical garnish…"
"What the hell does organoleptic mean?"
"…the young man, seeing his love's wheel slowly advancing ahead of him, sensing that the dish they are assembling was beginning to lose the edge provided by the basil he had contributed, rushed to add another element. He chooses thin slices of red onion, their acrid translucency a powerful counterpoint to the sweet aromatic properties of their phantasmagorical foodstuff -- a dish seemingly suspended in the air between their enhanced sensibilities. A tiny transient shock passed through her, but she discovered in the raw heat of the onion, an enchanted mirror that revealed aspects of the orange/basil/pinenut she hadn't noticed before. He saw her tiny shudder and feared, for a second, that the onion might be too much -- but was reassured when the wheel beneath him picked up speed and momentum, first catching up with the progress of her wheel, then edging past it…"
"You know …"
"..concerned that the disparate elements of the dish could begin to fragment and drift apart, she tried to unify the flavors, round out the acidic sweetness of the oranges, soften the raw heat of the onions, allow the basil's heady influence to spread to all parts of the dish. Coyly alluding to the uncrossable space between the two wheels, she chose extra virgin olive oil. He was awed by the depth of her insight into their dish, touched by her obvious concern for his contributions -- even though he suspects that they were clumsy and insignificant by comparison with hers…"
"… I think I've had a salad like this."
"…almost as if the olive oil had moistened mighty -- if fictitious -- bearings, both wheels began to spin freely, the couple whirling through aerial expanses previously unimaginable -- even for them -- in breathless acceleration. Only the consciousness of their mountaineering equipment prevented them from being hurled into the immeasurable depths of the ecstatic hereafter."
"Omigod!"
"Yes. I think that about covers it."
"What do you mean, 'I think that about covers it?' What happens next?"
"Nothing… or rather, we don't know. Our officers interrupted the event at that point, sir."
"Goddamed meddling fools! Wait a minute -- you interviewed these people separately?"
"Of course. S.O.P. -- by the book."
"And they described the details of this event the same way?"
"Yes. They used different language, but it was plain that they had both had the same experience."
"And they do something like this every weekend?"
"Yes -- of course, they are in jail at the moment."
"Did they seem -- put out -- at being interrupted in the courtroom?"
"Not really. I think they believe they can stage an event whenever they like."
"Surely, being in jail puts a damper on their enthusiasm?"
"Not so far, sir."
July 5, 2011
A Culinary Baseball Quiz
I knew a chef (back when I worked at the CIA) who used to be a professional umpire. For several years he umped in the majors during spring training, then worked the rest of the season in double-A ball in the south. One afternoon, while I was waiting for a particularly large document to come out of the printer, this former ump and I were discussing some interesting aspects of the game.
For instance: if a fly ball bounces off one player and is caught before it hits the ground, the batter is out. However, if the same fly ball bounces off an umpire and is caught before it hits the ground, the batter is not out. The reason for this discrepancy is that an umpire is considered to be part of the field, while the players are not.
In order to test my baseball knowledge, the chef asked me a question that he frequently asked his students.
"Imagine a long ball hit towards left field. It's going... going... going... and all the while, the runner is loping around the bases, watching to see if it clears the fence. Just before it reaches the fence, it loses steam and drops inside. However, before it hits the ground, a pig runs onto the field, grabs the ball in the air, swallows it, and runs off the field. What's the call?"
The answer seemed obvious, even for such an unusual occurrence. I wondered, silently, if this sort of thing happened often in southern double-A baseball games.
"Grounds rule double," was my smug reply.
The umpire-turned-chef-turned-teacher shook his sadly, and answered, "In the pork home run."
For instance: if a fly ball bounces off one player and is caught before it hits the ground, the batter is out. However, if the same fly ball bounces off an umpire and is caught before it hits the ground, the batter is not out. The reason for this discrepancy is that an umpire is considered to be part of the field, while the players are not.
In order to test my baseball knowledge, the chef asked me a question that he frequently asked his students.
"Imagine a long ball hit towards left field. It's going... going... going... and all the while, the runner is loping around the bases, watching to see if it clears the fence. Just before it reaches the fence, it loses steam and drops inside. However, before it hits the ground, a pig runs onto the field, grabs the ball in the air, swallows it, and runs off the field. What's the call?"
The answer seemed obvious, even for such an unusual occurrence. I wondered, silently, if this sort of thing happened often in southern double-A baseball games.
"Grounds rule double," was my smug reply.
The umpire-turned-chef-turned-teacher shook his sadly, and answered, "In the pork home run."
June 27, 2011
food sites for July 2011
Early green beans, Rhinebeck, New YorkWith this issue, we begin our eleventh year of publishing these newsletters... or, looked at another way, a complete decade of blood under the bridge (sorry, we've been researching the history of slaughterhouses lately, and some images refuse to be erased from our memory).
Regular subscribers to our updates newsletter receive these updates from our blog, Just Served, directly -- but there is much more at the blog that isn't sent automatically. We understand that many (OK, most) folks have better things to do with their time than wade through countless unwanted e-missives, so we won't add ours to that pile. However... should you feel an inexplicable craving for exactly the sort of self-indulgent claptrap we periodically post, you can satisfy that urge at Just Served. If you don't want to wait for this newsletter to hear about such postings, you can follow us on Facebook, or Twitter.
A Quiet Little Table in the Corner has moved to a new location. At the moment, it's an annotated ("annotated" being used, naturally, in its least academic sense) directory of our writings -- mostly on other people's sites.
Leitesculinaria is still in the process of reposting, sometimes -- with shiny new updates and edits -- some of our older articles. The entire list of our currently-posted LeitesCulinaria articles is available here, along with several other articles on food history & science.
This is what passes for spiritual advice in On the Table's culinary quote pages
"If your regrets linger, if you cannot find inspiration in solitude, then you still have much to learn from the writers and poets and the cooks on becoming the artist of your own life... you can never re-create the past. But you can shape your own future. And you can make a cake." Jacqueline DuvalGary
July, 2011
PS: If you encounter broken links, changed URLs -- or know of wonderful sites we've missed -- please drop us a line. It helps to keep this resource as useful as possible for all of us. To those of you who have suggested sites -- thanks, and keep them coming!
PPS: If you wish to change the e-mail address at which you receive these newsletters, or otherwise modify the way you receive our postings, go here.
PPPS: If you've received this newsletter by mistake, and/or don't wish to receive future issues, you have our sincere apology and can have your e-mail address deleted from the list immediately. We're happy (and continuously amazed) that so few people have decided to leave the list -- but, should you choose to be one of them, let us know and we'll see that your in-box is never afflicted by these updates again. You can unsubscribe here.
----the new sites----
Bait and Switch
("…how Seafood fraud hurts our oceans, our wallets and our health," in PDF format)
Conversation About Food, Cooking and Alice B. Toklas, A
(Virginia Heffernan and Amanda Hesser chat about a home cook's choices -- and other things -- in The New York Times)
Eating With a Spiritual Compass
(Chef Marcus Samuelsson opines about fasting, at Huffington Post)
English Diet: Roast Beef and ... Salad?, The
(Anita Guerrini's article in History Today)
Everything You Wanted to Know About Sulfites But Still Won't Believe Anyway
(David J. Duman's article in Huffington Post)
Food
(a special, single-topic, issue of Laphams Quarterly; 59 of 100 articles, including many original historical documents, available online)
Gastronomics: What's the Value of a Great Review?
(Felix Salmon, in New York Magazine, discusses the role of reviews in restaurant pricing)
Lexicon of Sustainability, The
(an introduction to Douglas and Laura Howard-Gayeton's mixed media project; in PDF format)
Lunch Amnesia
(according to the journal Appetite -- via New York Magazine's Paul Kix -- there is another good reason for thinking about what we eat)
Ration Coupons on the Home Front, 1942-1945
(collection at Duke University, including categories like canning and preserving, coffee, edible oils and fats, food conservation, sugar, and processed foods)
Should Meat Eaters Slaughter Their Own Meat?
(J. Kenji Lopez-Alt's thoughtful article and photos of poultry being "processed" humanely)
Turning a Love of Food into a Career Takes Patience, Flexibility and a Good Business Plan
(advice from The Washington Post)
Where Food Is God
("How fringe religious groups helped launch the healthy eating movement;" Daniel Fromson's article in Slate)
----changed URLs----
Food for the Thoughtless
Oscar Getz Museum of Whiskey History
----how-to blogs----
Blog posts about blogging -- and writing, design, photography, promotion, and ethics -- can help us become better, and possibly more successful, writers (i.e., having more people read our stuff). Do we, personally, make use of all this good advice? Of course not -- that would be the reasonable thing to do, and we are very careful to avoid being reasonable about most things. Not doing things the way we do would probably be good for your own career.
Some recent favorites:
Art of Cookbook Writing
My Retrospective in Food Blogging
So You Want to be a Successful Food Blogger? Here's How
----yet more blogs----
Dining with the Saints
Erica De Mane
Indian Culinary Center
Sensual Foodie, The
Year in Food, The
----that's all for now----
Except, of course, for the usual legalistic mumbo-jumbo and commercial flim-flam:
Your privacy is important to us. We will not give, sell or share your e-mail address with anyone, for any purpose -- ever. Nonetheless, we will expose you to the following irredeemably brazen plugs:
Our books, The Resource Guide for Food Writers, The Herbalist in the Kitchen, The Business of Food: Encyclopedia of the Food And Drink Industries, and Human Cuisine can be ordered through the Libro-Emporium.
Here endeth the sales pitch(es)...
...for the moment, anyway.
________
"The Resource Guide for Food Writers, Update #129" is protected by copyright, and is provided at no cost, for your personal use only. It may not be copied or retransmitted unless this notice remains affixed. Any other form of republication -- unless with the author's prior written permission -- is strictly prohibited.
Copyright (c) 2011 by Gary Allen.
