David W. Robinson's Blog: Always Writing, page 55

Diamond Jubilee Parties

This weekend is the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and there are celebrations all over the UK. With absolutely typical timing, it’s raining like hell, but since when did the weather ever stop the Brits enjoying a party? I’m a confirmed republican, but even I like a knees up.

Personal politics and points of view never make it into my novels, but I did get to thinking, how are my characters spending this weekend.

Joe, Sheila and most of the Sanford 3rd Age Club are traditionalists, as long as the tradition was official back in the 60 and 70s. They remember the Jubilee party of ’77, so the chances are they will have a bit of a knees up, but it won’t be much of one until Monday afternoon. The dray men from Sanford Breweries will be working tomorrow so the Lazy Luncheonette will be open for business in the morning, and Joe will probably lock up at lunchtime and mosey on over to the Miner’s Arms for an afternoon of party games, pork pies and best bitter. Sheila and Les Tanner are the most conservative, and they will stand to attention for the National Anthem, no matter how boring it is. Joe and George Robson will be concerned more with the betting for the Euros, and Brenda will have her fun-loving eye open for the best of the action.

Alex Croft, still trying to come to terms with The Handshaker’s murderous actions, is a multi-millionaire, probably a Conservative, but only from a financial standpoint. I doubt that he’ll be partying. He has too much on his mind.

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Chris Deacon, the protagonist of Voices, makes no bones about his political affiliations. He’s a socialist and he probably sees the monarchy as an outdated institution which belongs firmly in the Middle Ages. Jan, his wife, will celebrate, and Chris will tag along just to be sociable, but he’ll be more than ready to tackle anyone who tries to laud the monarchy.

Finally, the Spookies team will celebrate. Pete, the ex-cop, will take any excuse for a beer-up, Kevin, the wheeler dealer, probably just made a pound or two selling bunting with the Union Flag upside down and Sceptre, full name Lady Concepta Rand-Epping, Countess of Marston, will pay homage to the sovereign to whom she is probably distantly related.

In fact, Spookies are so hot on the Jubilee that their Compendium of tales is FREE from about 8:30 this morning (Sunday) through tomorrow and until about 8:30 Tuesday morning.

Celebrate the Diamond Jubilee with a free read. Download now while it’s hot.

It’s Real. It’s here.

Putting out a new title is a slow process. You have to write it first, then edit, then rewrite, then edit, then rewrite, then send it off for formal editing, then rewrite, send it off to the publisher, ait for it to come back, then rewrite again. It’s a paintstaking process which can take anything from a few months to a couple of years.

Once all that is done the publishers spend time on the layout and formatting, and you’re left either twiddling your thumbs or working on the next masterpiece.

Then one day, you receive a proof of the cover image, and suddenly all that work shifts to another dimension. The work you have slaved over, teased and tickled into publishable status becomes a reality.

I reached that point yesterday when the cover of The I-Spy Murders arrived in my inbox.

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It was not an easy tale to picture and we had a hell of a time deciding how best to set up the cover, but based on the story, we decided on this as the definitive image.

Now it’s real. Now the book has a life of its own. And that life begins on June 28th. Be there so you can say to your grandchildren, ‘I saw it happen.’

***

The I-Spy Murders, a Sanford 3rd Age Club Mystery is published by Crooked Cat Books, released on 28th June, 2012 on the Kindle and all other e-readers.

Wish You Were (Not) Here

I picked up this little tome earlier today, mainly because it’s written by my good friend Frances di Plino.

Frances is also known as Lorraine Mace, a good humoured, gentle lady, always generous with writing advice, a tutor for the Writer’s Bureau, and columnist in Writing Magazine.

As Frances di Plino, she and I are competitors, only, of course, we’re not. Those who enjoy The Handshaker, will enjoy Frances’ debut novel, Bad Moon Rising, and vice versa. Frances is the dark side of Lorraine, and considering I have a dark side, too (David Robinson as opposed to David W Robinson) when I see a book with Frances’ name on the cover, I buy it.

Only I didn’t have to buy this one. It’s free… well, at least today and tomorrow. And it’s worth every penny (ho, ho, ho). But even if I had to pay for it, this collection of dark, sometimes macabre short stories would be worth it.

A collection of  short stories, the tales explore the many avenues of crime, reparation and revenge, much of it served straight from the freezer.

From the outset we’re confronted with age-old question, ‘what would you do in those circumstances?’ And there are no easy choices.

Filled with the kind of characters who could be your next door neighbour, if you enjoy macabre murders, then these stories will tantalise your tastebuds.

Do yourself a favour and get hold of Wish You Were (Not) Here while it’s hot and free.

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Wish You Were (Not) Here is exclusive to the Kindle ad is available from Amazon UK and Amazon Worldwide, and is free until tomorrow (31st May, 2012)

Monday Morning Double Chart Delight

I rolled out of bed at a quarter to six this morning to learn, much to my delight, that not one but two of my books were charting on the Kindle UK.

The Handshaker had wriggled its way back into the hard boiled genre chart and sat around number 50-ish, and The Filey Connection was on the lower edges of the British Detective chart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I lead a double life. Some of my work, particularly the Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries, of which The Filey Connection is the first, is published with Crooked Cat Books. Other works, like The Handshaker, are self-published. Although they’re both murder mysteries, they could not be more dissimilar. The Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries are gentle, light hearted whodunits, with a good deal of humour running through them. The Handshaker, by contrast, is a dark and gritty thriller. Even as I prepare this blog post, I’m working on the next titles in both series. The I-Spy Murders, the next Sanford 3rd Age Club Mystery is due out on June 28th, and The Executioner, the next Alex Croft tale is due out… well, that’s anyone’s guess, but I’m planning for the back end of this year.

At different times during the day or week, then, I have to swap writing hats, but that’s nothing compared to the problem of publicity. That’s when the double life becomes even more complicated. I can’t very well plug The Handshaker and the Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries at the same time… can I?

Well, yes I can, but like the writing, it involves using different identities. The Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries have their own Facebook Page. The Handshaker doesn’t, but David Robinson, author, does. Trouble is, both of them are fed to my Facebook wall/timeline, so that at any given time, you can see feeds from the Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries and David Robinson flagging up different books. Well, nobody said the writer’s life was simple.

It’s usually simpler than this, however, but that’s because, traditionally, the two books don’t sell at the same time. Now they are. Now they’re growing in popularity. So it looks like things are going to be this complicated and more so.

I always said that half the time I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. Now I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be.

***

The Handshaker is available in Paperback from Amazon, and for the Kindle also from Amazon, and in all e-formats from Smashwords.

The Filey Connection is available only as an e-book for the Kindle from Amazon UK and Amazon Worldwide and in all formats from Smashwords.

What’s the Secret of The Handshaker’s Attraction?

There are those people who don’t like e-books. They’d rather have an old fashioned paperback in their hands. I have to confess, I’m one of ’em. Well now, you can have that paperback… well you can if you’re looking to read The Handshaker. Not only that, but through Amazon, you may also qualify for free shipping (you need to check the Amazon Ts & Cs to find out about that).

Women readers seem to love this book, and I find that strange. The Handshaker is clearly a misogynist. He targets women, he uses and abuses them ruthlessly and when he’s done with them, he leaves them hanging all over town. When I first wrote it, my major concern was that female readers would be turned off and away by the violence perpetrated on women, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.

I asked my good friend and editor, Maureen Vincent-Northam about this, and her response was, “ah, but there’s a nice man pursuing The Handshaker.” My argument against that was that Alex Croft is only in the chase because The Handshaker has his girlfriend.

And is Croft really that nice? He was jumping Sinclair while he was still married to someone else, and that’s hardly cricket, is it?

He is a thoroughly decent chap, obviously, but he’s not without his failings as the infidelity demonstrates. He’s quite arrogant in his own way, and if his self-assurance does take a few kicks along the way, it never takes long for it to come back to the fore.

Would I like him if I met him in real life? Probably not. Would my missus? Probably. He’s wealthy for a start off. He’s fit, good looking, rolling in money, and an expert in his field, whereas I’m fat, unshaven, dress like a tramp most of the time, rolling in debt and an expert in drinking tea. In short, he’s everything I’m not.

We have one thing in common, Croft and me. We don’t discriminate. So even if I am slightly envious of the fella, I don’t mind working with him again on The Executioner, which I hope will be out and about by the end of the year.

***

The Handshaker is available in paperback from Amazon UK and Amazon Worldwide. It’s also available for the Kindle from Amazon UK and Amazon Worldwide and in all e-formats from Smashwords.

Hard Copy

You may be wondering where I’ve been all week. On the other hand you may be saying, thank god for a bit of peace and quiet.

Fact is, I’ve been working on the paperback edition of The Handshaker.

There are those people (like me) who still prefer the feel of a paperback in their hands. It does have some advantages over the e-reader. You don’t have to plug it into the mains every so often to charge it up, you can write your shopping list in the margins, and if the novel is really bad, you can always use it to light the barbecue.

E-publishing has made the whole world of fiction so much simpler for writers. It’s opened the doors for many fine works which would otherwise never have seen the light of day, and there’s no question that it is the future. My publisher, Crooked Cat Books is an e-publisher. E-sales are rocketing.

But I still get the occasional query; “When will this title be available in paperback?” and since The Handshaker is a self-published title, I thought I’d give it a go.

The problem with paperbacks is the cost. Even with today’s Print On Demand (POD) technology, whereby you don’t need to hold stocks of the book, it’s still a three-figure investment to get a paperback out. For any author wishing to supply bookshops with his/her title, you’re talking thousands of pounds/dollars.

Lulu led the way in setting up titles at little or no cost to the author. I used them for some years. Createspace have been working in the USA for some time, but the cost of shipping books from the US to Europe had always been prohibitive, and what’s worse, the time lag made it unprofitable for most British/European authors.

So the good news this week was that Createspace have begun printing and distributing from Great Britain. It remains to be seen how effective this operation will be in cutting down delivery delays, but because Createspace is an Amazon company, they can compete with Lulu’s steep delivery charges, saving you, the customer, money.

Their set up system is not easy. It’s taken me all week and about ten attempts to get it right, but it’s done and The Handshaker in paperback, should appear on the Amazon sites within the next few days.

Stay tuned for further news.

It’s One Small Click of the Mouse

And one giant leap for The Filey Connection.

The first of the Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries, The Filey Connection, took a huge leap up the Amazon Kindle UK chart overnight. It’s still below the horizon, but people are buying. Could it be that they’re eager to read before the next volume in the series is released at the end of next month?

Hanged if I know, but it’s a thought.

You don’t need to read The Filey Connection to enjoy The I-Spy Murders. These books form a series, not a serial, but Filey does lay the foundations of the Sanford 3rd Age Club and its three prime movers, Joe Murray, Sheila Riley and Brenda Jump.

Are you tempted but worried that you won’t like them? Suppose I offer to let you read bit and pieces from the opening chapters of both The Filey Connection and The I-Spy Murders? Would that be something that might interest you?

Okay. Here you go.

You can read the mid-section of Chapter One from The Filey Connection, here.

And when you’re through with that, you can read the opening of Chapter One from The I-Spy Murders, here.

The Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries: cosy murder mysteries in the finest British tradition.

***

The Filey Connection is available for the Kindle from Amazon UK, Amazon Worldwide and in all e-formats from Smashwords

Euro Footy, Nordic Noir and a Guest Post

That was one hell of a Saturday. I had a guest post appear not once but twice (albeit edited in the second instance) then watched Chelsea pip Bayern Munich in the final of the European Champion’s League and to round the night off, I took in the final two episodes of The Bridge.

Note: fans of the latter who have not yet seen it, can safely read on. There are no spoilers in this post.

The guest post appeared on Maureen Vincent-Northam’s blog yesterday lunchtime-ish. It hinges on research for fiction authors and the way they can use Maureen’s latest book, Trace Your Roots. I’ll say no more than that, and you and read it for yourself, here.

Mo was obviously so impressed (or so desperate for content) that she also put it up on her Trace Your Roots site, but with the blatant plugs for my books removed.

And so to the Champion’s League Final.

I’ve been a follower of the beautiful game ever since I could walk, and I’ve hated Chelsea with an absolute passion ever since I lost a bet on them in 1970 (we Robinsons have long memories). However, I have to congratulate them on last night’s victory. In a poor final, they were totally outplayed, completely dominated, and rode their luck on occasions, but they managed to beat Bayern on a penalty shoot out.

Bayern have only themselves to blame. According to the Beeb, they had 34 shots on goal, 21 of them on target, yet scored only one goal. By comparison, Chelsea had only 9 shots on goal, 6 on target, and managed to score one goal.

I did get annoyed when John Terry and Branislav Ivanovic both banned for the match, joined the party and collected medals. After all, Paul Scholes and Roy Keane, both similarly disqualified for the 1999 final, didn’t get medals when Manchester United beat Bayern Munich.

One spot of research later (without the assistance of Trace Your Roots) indicated that Scholesey and Keano DID collect medals in 1999. Oops.

So congratulations, Chelsea. I won’t say the best team won, because we went out in the earlier rounds, but a win is a win.

The CL Final didn’t finish until about 11 o’clock so I recorded the finale of The Bridge and the moment the footy was over, Her Indoors and yours truly settled down with a brew and a butty to watch it.

Superb. That’s all I can say.

By the time we reached the end of episode 8 last week, I knew who the killer was. I knew who his real target was and why. But I did not guess the way the drama would unfold. This was genuine nail-biter right down to the last few minutes.

True there were a few holes left unplugged, and there were subplots totally unrelated to the ongoing drama except in the most remote manner. Stefan, for instance, and what was the business with Charlotte?

That’s nitpicking, however, and it should not be allowed to detract from what was a fine drama.

It was in Swedish and Danish and Her Indoors did have a problem with the subtitles. No worries for me. I’m so hard of hearing, I use subtitles all the time.

If The Bridge, The Killing, Wallender, et al have taught us anything it’s that there s an audience for this kind of dark drama, but we’re too busy producing cheap tripe like Britain’s Got Talent (an oxymoron in my opinion) X-Factor and Strictly Come Break Your Neck. Come on you guys in TV land, the rights to The Handshaker are available.

So that’s it. A mega Saturday by any standards, leaving me with only one problem. What am I gonna do of a Saturday night between now and the start of the Euros in just over a fortnight?

December 2012: End of the World?

I call myself a writer, but here’s one I missed.

According to the doomsayers, the end of the world is December 21st 2012. Why? Because it coincides with the end of the Mayan long calendar which runs for about 5,000 years and then some.

At the same time, the earth and sun are lined up precisely with the centre of the galaxy and there’s a spectacular alignment of planets.

Wow!

Now the truth. There is a minor planetary alignment in December 2012. Mercury and Venus are fairly close, Saturn a bit to one side. On December 3rd they apparently line up above the Great Pyramids. Cool.

Not from where I’m looking, they don’t, because I can’t see the Great Pyramids. Seen from my location they line up over Higginshaw Gasworks, the Civic Centre and a bus stop on Huddersfield Road. The other planets are scattered willy-nilly about the sky.

The sun appears to coincide with the centre of the galaxy every year, and considering the Mayans knew nothing of the shape of the galaxy, they couldn’t do better than guess where the centre was. In fact, during the winter solstice of 2012, the Sun’s disc brushes with an area known as the Great Rift where dust and gas clouds obscure our view of the galactic core. This last happened in 1998/1999. Thirteen years ago. Bugger. Missed that one, didn’t I?

Finally has anyone bothered to ask the modern day descendants of the Mayan people? Well yes, someone has. Their answer? “We haven’t a clue what you’re talking about.”

Calculations on the end of the Mayan long calendar do indicate that it’s about to end any time now. So what? Our long cycle ended twelve years ago, and we started a new one. It was called the Millennium. Remember it?

Like the Rapture that was supposed to take place in March and October last year, this nonsense has gathered a huge, world wide following, but it’s based largely on ill-informed bullshit.

So how does this affect me?

I write fiction. I write sci-fi. I earn my corn churning out ill-informed bullshit; porkies; lies, fairy tales. The difference between me and these clowns is simple. I don’t pretend that mine is real.

But I do weep when I think of the novels I could have written from this crap if I’d been told earlier. Putting aside my tears of frustration and lost millions, here are my predictions for December 21st, 2012.

It will be cold in Manchester and warm in Australia.

I will not in the lottery just the same as I have not won the lottery for the last 18 years.

The price of gas and electricity in the UK will be higher than it was last year.

Christmas will be just four days away.

Her Indoors will take me shopping for groceries and come back with enough to feed a Mayan tribe for a month.

I will look at the credit card statement, shake my head and say, “It can’t go on.”

The missus will buy me new underwear for her sister’s Christmas party, even though I never take my trousers off at her sister’s Christmas party.

After three days of trying, the missus will admit defeat and ask me to program the DVD recorder to make sure she doesn’t miss the Strictly Come Dancing Final while we’re at her sister’s aforementioned Christmas party.

You see if I’m not right.

You Heard It Here First

Today sees a virtual split between the Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries and the rest of my work. As of now all news, excerpts from the Sanford 3rd Age Club Mysteries will be on their own blog which you can find and bookmark here.

Why?

Because I’m now writing under my real name and a couple of pseudonyms, and in different genres. Some of it is even nonfiction, and it makes sense to separate them. In addition, some of my work is published through Crooked Cat, while some of it self-published. Half the time I don’t know my arse from my elbow and I have to stop and think about who I am. Giving the Sanford 3rd Age Club their own blog permits me to advertise their covers, while pushing other works on this site.

To launch this idea posted up a large chunk of Chapter One from The Filey Connection over there, and if you stay tuned, by the end of the week, you will be able to read, free of charge, the opening of The I-Spy Murders which does not come on sale until June 28th.

So get on over there now and take in The Filey Connection to whet your appetite for the murder fest to come.

Go on you know you want to.