Gail Vaz-Oxlade's Blog, page 22

Fig Roasted Chicken

My girlfriend Tash and her family came over for a Sunday lunch… a big deal since Tash HATES driving long distances; she lives in Mississauga and I’m out in the boonies. Tash and I spent two days a week together every week for about nine years while I was making TV. Now we have to make a date to see each other: life is busy. Especially when you have two wee ones as Tash and Kirk do. So I pulled out all the stops. I made this chicken along with mushroom risotto and it was AMAZING. The following weekend Kirk called me for the recipe. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

 

Fig Roasted Chicken

1 Whole Chicken
1/2 cup Balsamic Glaze
3 Cloves Garlic, minced
3 Sprigs Rosemary, destemmed and minced
2 tsp Salt
1 tsp Pepper
1/4 cup Butter, softened
1 cup Fig Compote


Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Combine softened butter, garlic rosemary, salt and pepper.
Split the chicken along the backbone and then flatten it out in the pan. The flattened or butterflied chicken roasts in a lot less time and is referred to as being “spatchcocked.”
Rub the butter mixture between the skin and the chicken breast meat. Be careful not to tear the skin.
In a small saucepan, combine the fig compote with ¼ cup water to create s syrupy glaze.
Put chicken in the pan breast down and baste with ¼ of the balsamic glaze. Roast that way for about 15 minutes.  Then flip the chicken so it is sitting breast side up and baste with remaining glaze. Roast bird for 30-40 minutes until done.
Baste chicken with the fig glaze (from droppings in the pan) and let rest for 10 minutes before carving.

 

May Nature Challenge

May is just around the corner and you’ll want to sign up for the 30 x 30 Nature Challenge. Over the last decade, researchers have realized what most of us know intuitively: nature is good for us! It is well documented that being regularly immersed in a natural setting, like a park, field or forest, can lower blood pressure, anxiety and stress levels, and boost immunity. ‘Green time’ has also been shown to reduce feelings of anger and depression, while increasing energy, creativity and even generosity.

Living in the digital age, most of us spend too much time in front of screens and little time outdoors. It’s time for us all to get outside. During the month of May, the David Suziki foundation is asking Canadians to pledge to spend 30 minutes in nature every day for 30 days.

Last year, over 15,000 Canadians and 1,000 workplaces joined in cultivating the ‘nature habit’. They took to the great outdoors, doubling their time outside. And you know what the resource found? Participants were sleeping better, felt calmer and less stressed. Impressive results for a half hour a day!

Maybe my favourite “result” from the 2014 May Nature Challenge Report is that people who participated reported “significant increases in the nature-specific emotions of awe, curiosity, and fascination.” Wow, right? All you have to do is look around and there it is.

The 30×30 Nature Challenge begins on May 1. You can sign up online at www.davidsuzuki.org and registration will stay open throughout the challenge so it’s never too late to join!

On the site you’ll find free toolkits for workplaces and schools so you can engage your colleagues and students in the Challenge. The kits provide communication tips and engagement ideas along with official 30×30 posters. Once you download your kit, you’ll receive regular updates to support you in engaging your community.

Getting in on?Nature is easy-peasy —it’s literally in your backyard. Whether you drink your morning coffee outside, set out on a bug-hunt, make a mud-pie with your wee ones or have a picnic in the park, getting outside and connecting with the natural world is what it’s all about. Head to a neighbourhood park or garden. Take the time to explore trails or ravines. Head to the beach for a walk.

The birds, bees (and dozens of other critters) are nearby. You just have to take time to watch and listen. Time in nature is about getting?outside and taking time to notice and connect with the non-human life around you. And don’t worry if you miss a day. The Challenge isn’t about being perfect. Even David Suzuki missed a day or two!

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Every time I think I’ve heard it all, someone pops up with a new way to excuse the fact that their money management is in the crapper. Here are some of my favs:

“We got a consolidation loan and paid off our credit cards so we’re doing better.” Really, you paid off your debt with other debt? That’s not PAID OFF my little chickadee, that’s delusional. Consolidation makes sense when you reduce your interest costs and then work aggressively to repay the debt. But if you’re sitting back smugly because you’ve reduced your payments so you have more money to spend on rubbish, I want to reach out and slap you.

Consolidating using a mortgage is one of the more time-honoured ways of making debt more expensive over the long term. Lots of people consolidate using the equity in their homes. Then they pretend that everything is okay, because now it’s “mortgage debt” and that’s good debt, isn’t it? Hey, tell the truth. It’s still consumer credit; it’s just been shuffled to somewhere you don’t have to look at it. And believe me, it’s costing you.

I worked with one couple who re-mortgaged their home three times to cover their uncontrolled overspending. Over the life of their mortgage, they had increased their interest costs from about $150K to almost $600K.

“Sure it’s a lot of debt, but, hey, everybody’s in debt, so what’s the big deal.” And if everyone were running screaming of the side of a cliff, you’d do that too, right?

There’s no question that debt has become so commonplace that it seems like everyone’s in it. And if you grew up in a family that had it all, including the debt, you may think this is “normal.” I worked with one couple that was so comfortable with their debt that they had never made a mortgage payment from cash flow. Every single mortgage payment had come from their line of credit.

If debt seems like a normal state of being for you, it means you have to change your thinking. Debt is not normal for someone who is financially healthy. You can make the choice to remain a delusional, or you can choose financial stability. The old way may be more fun, at least in the short term, but the new way will keep you and your family safe and sound.

“I don’t have time to budget.” Really, your most important resource and you don’t have the time to manage it? Could it be that your priorities are a little skewed?

On average we spend about three hours every day watching TV. Hey, you only need to reallocate a measly half-hour twice a week to money management to go from being a financial slug to smart about your money.

Close in hand with this goes, “You have to have money to make a budget work.” One young lady wrote me to say that her parents had recommended she use a budget and her response was, “You have to have money to make a budget work, right Gail.” Believe it or not, she was asking ME to tell her a budget was pointless. Really?

Sadly, people don’t think that all that dough they bring in that goes to paying the rent or buying food is “money.” For them, only the stuff they can spend indulging their whims is “money.” And so they don’t make a budget and look for ways to trim. Or perhaps it is because if they made a budget, they would discover just how much money they were blowing every month on stuff, and would have to change their behaviour. Lord forbid!

“My partner is the problem.” I’ve met couples where one person is the major culprit in acquiring debt. The other person stands meekly by as Mr. or Mrs. I-have-to-have-EVERYTHING charges them into a debt whole. They shrug and claim to have no ability to change their partner’s behaviour. Here’s my big question: Is this the way you’re going to live the rest of your life, walking a tightrope, waiting for the axe to fall? And if you have children, do you think this is creating any sense of security for them?”

For as many couples that I’ve met where one partner claims the other is the problem, I’ve met couples where they are both, in their own inimitable way, doing dumb things. One husband claimed his wife was the problem because she went shopping every day at work during lunch, bringing home items that she’d hide from him. He saw nothing wrong with dropping $10K on a new motorbike. That’s a lot of skirts, dude?

If you’re still making excuses about why you’re in debt, maybe it’s because you’re not yet committed to getting out of debt. Some people aren’t. They haven’t heard the whistle blow that tells them the train is headed straight for ‘em.

 

Ch..ch..ch..change

“If in the last few years you hadn’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.”  Gelett Burgess

I love quotes. I love the way smart people find a really pithy way of expressing an idea. This quote is one of my favorites. I particularly like this one because it deals with change and expresses perfectly how I feel about growing.

There’s another one I really like that goes hand-in-hand with this one.

“To grow is to change. And to change often is to have grown much.”

I’m not exactly sure who said this one – ancient Chinese proverb, maybe – but I really love the sentiment.

Consistency is applauded in our world. Staying “true” is equated with staying “the same.” I consider that a bunch of hogwash. If you stay the same, you can’t possibly be learning any of the lessons life is trying to teach you. If you’re getting the lessons, you’re evolving, growing, changing.

I’ve changed a lot over my life. Motherhood changed me immensely. Death changed me too. I lost people I never expected to lose and that not only shook me to my core, it grew me.

I try to explain to others that change, while hard, is a necessary part of growing, that we need to all embrace change, look for opportunities to change, help other people to change. Change makes us stronger, kinder, healthier. Change makes us grow.

Change can come naturally. Or it can be forced upon us. Or we can go looking for it. Aging is a natural change, one we so often fight against. I’m not sure why. I love getting older. I’m like a fine wine or a good cheese – better with each year I mature. I’ve also had change forced on me, and I didn’t like it one little bit, but I coped and grew stronger. And I’ve sought change. I read a ton. I love to talk about the books I read and I have some friends who are my book-buddies. We call each other up and say, “Get this book and read it so we can talk about it.” We learn from what we read. We learn from the ideas we share. And we change.

Whatever you choose to do differently, know that in the end you will be a more fabulous person. Just the act of looking at your life, assessing what you want, and planning how you’re going to get it will make you more fabulous.

So what would you like to change in your life? What would you like to change about yourself? What would you like to change about your circumstances?

Don’t tell me you wish you made more money. I’m not talking about money here. Money isn’t everything, and it certainly isn’t why most people are in financial trouble. They’re in trouble because they’ve got life lessons to learn and they’ve been avoiding them by going shopping.

 

I’m talking about you … who you are… who you want to be, and what you’re going to have to change to get there.

This & That: Kids, Kids, Kids Edition

T Wrote: My daughter is 18 and just finished her first year of university. She is a “Gail” fan and definitely not a Prince$$! She is living at home for school but will be away, in Northern Quebec for most of the summer. We live in Southwestern Ontario. I feel like she should have a credit card for emergencies or unusual circumstances. Are you able to give us some direction on this? She should attempt to establish a credit rating too, correct? Is it still too early?

Gail Says: She should be learning to use credit responsibility. That means having a card in her name, using it regularly and paying it off in full every single month. That’s how you build a good credit history. I suggest you teach her how to use a Spending Journal to track her money and then incorporate the use of a credit card

 

A Wrote: Do children need life insurance? Would you suggest it?

Gail Says: The only reason to buy a child life insurance would be to ensure their “insurability” later. So if you have chronic health issue a child might “inherit” than buying their insurance when they are young and still healthy can make sense. It should come after the establishment of an emergency fund, debt elimination, personal savings for retirement and school savings in terms of priorities.

 

C Wrote: My daughter is 15 and about to start her first job. What is the one piece of advice you could give her, to help her out financially in the future?

Gail Says: I have 2

Making saving a habit; tuck away 10% of everything you make
Track your money coming in and going out in a notebook so you’re always conscious of how much you have and what you’re doing with it

 

D Wrote: We are debt free except for our mortgage. Credit cards paid each month and two cars paid off. We have just passed over that lovely 50 year old mark and are looking closely at retirement. My question is each year we use our tax refund against the principle of the mortgage. We have just under 5 years left on our mortgage and can’t wait to get rid of it but should we still be putting that extra cash on our mortgage or maybe in our TFSA for future home renos or RRSP or the kids RESP? Which do you think would serve us best as we close in on retirement? Our first child will hit post secondary education in 5 years and we have about $40k saved, the second child will start two years later.

Gail Says: With 2 kids on the way to post-secondary, you should be taking full advantage of the RESP free money: it’s called the Canada Education Savings Grant and you can get up to $500 a year (and catch up for one year you didn’t max out) from now until your kiddos turn 18, assuming you’ve made a contribution by the time each has turned 15. Don’t let this free money slide by you. It’s like an auto 20% return on your money with no risk. If the kids don’t use the entire principal you’ve saved, you can take it back without tax consequences since there was no deduction for it when you made it. Get a copy of Saving For School from the library and read up.

 

 

K Wrote: I opened a family RESPs my kids. I have a separate savings account in which I have been saving every baby bonus, universal child, basically any gov’t money, and the account had $15k in it. I moved 5k over to my oldest sons RESP when he turned 15 so I still have 10k left to move over. The bank told me I can only ever get a total of 2 years’ grant money for my missed years of contribution for my oldest. Can I get any more (other than $1000 I just got for the 5k contribution) grant money for all the missed years? What would YOU say is the best way to divide up the remaining 10k? My kids are 15, 7, 2 and 9 mo. So I have some time between the 1st and 2nd, I just want to make the best choice and don’t trust the bank’s advice. I would be so grateful for any suggestions you might have.

Gail Says: You clearly have catch-up room for the other children still available so you can also make catch up contributions for each of your 7- and 2- year olds. Here’s the thing, the government only limits how much you can take out in grant money per child, not who uses what money. So you could potentially catch up the grant room for the younger two, but have your oldest child use up to $7,200 of that money grant money. That’ll give his savings a boost and you’ll have plenty of time to contribute and earn income for the younger children so they have a fair amount come their turns to go to school.

 

D Wrote: How do you determine what amount of rent to charge grown children (aged 24 and 21) who are living at home again? Both are working full time and saving very diligently for their future plans (both have concrete five year goals). One has a car loan after buying a good used vehicle for work, the other drives an older, paid for vehicle, neither of them carry any other debt (both have credit cards that are always paid in full). They spend only what is absolutely necessary on clothing; go out rarely, shop second hand, etc.

I am not looking to “make money” off them, but I do feel they should be contributing enough to cover whatever extra variable expenses we incur as a result of them living here (groceries, extra hydro/heat, etc.). Both have lived on their own and know how to budget and what it costs to live in the “real world”. If they were going out, spending money on clothes or trips, etc., I would have no problem charging them fair market room and board, but they’re not. What’s fair?

Gail Says: It sounds to me like your kids have it all together. Typically I tell parents to collect 35% of their kid’s net income as rent, but I don’t think that’s what you need to do if your young adults are on track and you just want them to pay their own way. Why not sit down with them and talk about your increased cost and what they think would be a fair amount to contribute towards utilities, food, cable/phone, and whatever other resources you share. At the same time, I hope that both are fully participating as adults in the household (cleaning, cooking, and other responsibilities).

 

S Wrote: My two teenage sons, age 15 and 17, have saved a substantial amount of money each from their part time jobs, $8,000 and $17,000 respectively. My question is; should they start putting money away monthly into RRSP or TFSA’s? Which will benefit them most if they continue to contribute for the next 30+ years?

Gail Says: Both an RRSP and a TFSA are great ways to save for the future. The difference is that the RRSP lets you save taxes now, while the TFSA lets you make withdrawals tax-free in the future. Neither of your children is old enough to open a TFSA; you need to be 18. So the RRSP is the way to go right now. Just don’t claim the tax deduction if you have very little tax owing. Wait until incomes go up and more tax is being paid to get the biggest bang from those tax deductions.

 

Once they are 18 your sons should max out their TFSAs each year. As their incomes rise and taxes become more of an issue, they can use their TFSA money to make RRSP contributions and claim the tax savings, which they can then use to put into the TFSA. Win/Win.

 

 

Gail’s Fig Compote

This recipe came about because I found a recipe for chicken roasted with fig/balsamic glaze, but couldn’t find any fig compote where I live. So I made it. And I discovered a condiment so versatile I couldn’t believe I’d lived without it for so long. Having never been a fan of fig cookies or bars, I’ve never really embraced the fig until now.

Figs have been grown since ancient times and are found in the Mediterranean and Middle East. The fig tree can stand dry conditions because the roots run deep, searching for groundwater in ravines or cracks in rocks. It’s one of the first plants to have been cultivated, predating the domestication of legumes, barley and wheat.

I used dried figs for this because they’re available throughout the year.

Figs are remarkably healthy containing loads of vitamins and minerals: vitamin B6, vitamin K, calcium, copper, iron, manganese, and potassium (which is good for lowering blood pressure.) They also contain chlorogenic acid, which is purported to lower blood sugar levels and control blood-glucose levels in type-II diabetics. A half-cup of dried figs — or six small fresh figs — contains roughly 180 calories.

 

Gail’s Fig Compote

1 pack dried figs (200 grams)
2 cups water
½ cup sugar
½ cup shallot, chopped fine
¾ cup balsamic vinegar
1 cup red wine (I used a Shiraz Cabernet)
2 tsp dried rosemary

Put all ingredients into a pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and simmer until liquid reduced by two-thirds (approximately 1 hour).

You can eat this on soft cheese, on a mushroom sammie, or on a roast chicken or on… well, just about anything you can imagine. Divide in half and freeze the extra for another day.

Next week, I’ll roast a chicken using this, so tune in.

Eggs Are Good for You

There was a big sale on eggs at my supermarket last week and so I bought two boxes, which totaled three-dozen eggs, and then told the kids to eat ‘em up! Once upon a time we were told that too many eggs was a bad thing. As with so many other food warnings we were given, turns out that was wrong.

Eggs are incredibly nutritious. A single large boiled egg contains:

Vitamin A: 6% of the RDA.
Folate: 5% of the RDA.
Vitamin B5: 7% of the RDA.
Vitamin B12: 9% of the RDA.
Vitamin B2: 15% of the RDA.
Phosphorus: 9% of the RDA.
Selenium: 22% of the RDA.

Eggs also contain decent amounts of Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, Vitamin B6, Calcium and Zinc. This all come with only 77 calories, along with 6 grams of protein and 5 grams of healthy fats.  If you can get your hands on pastured or Omega-3 enriched eggs, then these are even better. They have more Omega-3s and are much higher in Vitamin A and E.

The reason we were told not to eat eggs is that they are high in cholesterol. Thing is, they don’t adversely affect blood cholesterol.

A single egg contains 212 mg, which is over two-thirds of the recommended daily intake of 300 mg. But that cholesterol in the diet doesn’t necessarily raise cholesterol in the blood. The liver actually produces large amounts of cholesterol every single day. When we eat more eggs, the liver just produces less cholesterol instead, so it evens out. In fact, in seventy percent of people, eggs don’t raise cholesterol at all and in the other thirty percent (termed “hyper responders”), eggs mildly raise Total and LDL cholesterol.

Eggs actually raise HDL (the “good”) cholesterol. In one study, two eggs a day for six weeks increased HDL levels by ten percent and that HDL cholesterol, is linked to a reduced risk of many diseases.

Eggs contain Choline, which is used to build cell membranes yet most people aren’t getting enough of. They also contain Lutein and Zeaxanthin, antioxidants that have major benefits for eye health. Getting enough of these nutrients can significantly reduce the risk of cataracts and macular degeneration. Eggs are also high in Vitamin A. Did you know that Vitamin A deficiency is the most common cause of blindness in the world?

Eggs are high in quality protein, with all the essential amino acids in the right ratios. Eating enough protein can help with weight loss, increase muscle mass, lower blood pressure and optimize bone health. Since eggs score high on the Satiety Index, which measures the ability of foods to help you feel and reduce calorie intake, eating eggs for breakfast may mean you eat fewer calories for the next 36 hours.

Tabitha and I both enjoy eggs for breakfast. I make the finest damn scrambled eggs going. Years ago a good friend showed me how. A little butter in the pan. Beat your eggs and add a little salt (not too much), when the butter melts, add the eggs to the pan. Stir consistently. I like to use a figure eight motion. About two-thirds of the way through, add a little more butter. (I add about a tablespoon for 3 eggs) The eggs are sooooo creamy and good.

 

 

Are You Stuck?

From time to time I meet folks who are determined that they can’t change their financial circumstances. Take Anna. She’s got a job that pays her about $12 an hour, a $15,000 student loan and a couple of credit cards with balances. She can’t see any way out of her current circumstances. Anna is one duck stuck in the muck. And she’s among a flock of people so convinced they can’t that they don’t even try.

I believe that a lot of the problems people have dealing with their money stem from this simple Law of Inertia. The Law of Inertia says that a body at rest will remain at rest until some force acts upon it. And a body in motion will remain in motion. It is so much easier to maintain the status quo than to change.

Financial inertia is an epidemic. In an experiment conducted in Brittan, the Brits’ financial inertia was so great that the majority of people wouldn’t even bother picking up a free £5 note if it were offered to them. What possible difference could £5 make?

Hey, if you don’t mind being the duck that’s stuck, no prob. Just stop your whining. But if you’re determined to do something differently so you have a different outcome, you must start somewhere. You cannot save $10,000 until you save $1,000. You cannot save $1,000 until you save $100. You cannot save $100 until you save $10.

If you want to build a financial safety net, you must start by opening a savings account and creating an automatic savings program. If you want to stop spending money you haven’t yet earned, you must stop carrying your credit cards. You must change what you are doing or not doing, to something that works for you instead of against you.

I love change. Change is exciting. Change brings challenge, learning and a sense of new. Change is full of promise. Change is audacious. It takes guts to change. It takes real guts. And guts are something that seems to be in short supply. If you have them, you’ll make it. If you don’t, so sorry: No guts, no glory.

So the question you have to ask yourself today is this: Do I have the guts to change?

If your answer is “No” then don’t waste your time whining and beating yourself up. You’ve made your choice, live with it graciously. But if you are brave, and ready to commit — if the answer is a resounding, “Yes” — then what are you going to change today? What small step will you take to move you from being at rest to being in motion? What will you do (not think about, not plan, not worry about, not whine about) to change what your life looks like?

It doesn’t matter whether you’re old or young, rich or not-so-rich, highly educated or not. All over the world – and right here at home in Canada — people are woefully unprepared to handle their money. The problem is so huge that the Canadian government stepped in to see if it could help. After years of paying lip service to how important financial literacy is, we’re still at square one.

Truth is, financial responsibility is our responsibility. There is no magic can-opener that will open up our skulls and pour in the information we need to know to be financially literate. And all the knowing in the world won’t do a scrap of good if folks aren’t prepared to do.

So where do we start? With some hard work and the determination to make a plan and see it through. But only those folks with a stomach for facing reality will succeed.

If you’ve been feeling out of control – even desperate — rest assured, you are not alone. Now you have to decide if you have the guts to change. Decide that today is the day you’ll do something different. It can be small. No one is asking you to move a mountain… well, not in one push. Don’t even know where to start? Head on over to www.mymoneymychoices.com and sign up. You’ll be given a road map designed to build your financial literacy along with strengthening your financial foundation. Small steps forward will get you to where you really want to be.

You don’t have to go it alone. If you know you’re going to need the support and guidance of friends and family, start a Tribe and work together to journey to a better place.

Do you have the fortitude to take a good, hard look at what you’ve been doing with your money? Are you ready to get real?

You can put inertia to work for you. Or you can just remain one duck stuck in the muck. You decide.

 

Do You Know What You Have?

I consider myself a positive person. And 98% of the time I’m content. But from time to time I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. The air’s too cold or too hot. The kids are too lazy or too busy. The work is boring or too much. It doesn’t matter what my life actually looks like, all I can see is the crap. Who knows why I feel like shite! I didn’t get a good night’s sleep. I’m worried about something I don’t even realize I’m worried about. I’m ticked because I feel ignored, unloved or dismissed.

Emotions are weird and sometimes we can’t control how we feel if we just feel. But if we stop and think about how we feel, and accept that crap feelings are a part of life even when you have a good one, then you can make the conscious decision to take those feelings in hand. Miserable as I may be, I know I should be counting my blessings. Yes, that’s what I should do: count my blessings.

I believe that we can choose to be happy. Even if things suck right now, this minute, you can find something in your life to focus on that brings you joy. Sit and stroke your cat or play fetch with your dog. Listen to the twitter of birds as they zoom in to eat the food you’ve set out for them. Go find something funny to read or watch. Grab yourself by your short-and-curlies and haul yourself out of the funk. Or stay where you are and keep on being miserable. It’s your choice.

If you stay focused on what’s not working in your life, if you sit and complain, or ask “why me?” you will sink further and further into misery. Misery begets misery. Ditto if you surround yourself with people who are themselves mired in emotional gunk. Find a happy person to be with and catch hold of their happiness. Focus not on the fact that your job is intolerable right now, but on the fact that at home the children are healthy and happy, your partner has got your back or that the dog really loves you. (You feed the dog right? So the dog REALLY loves you.) Find the contentment in what you have instead of focusing on what you have not.

Maybe you love to run, or play squash, or swim. Go do it. Perhaps listening to your children playing puts you in the zone. Grab a cup of tea, forget the laundry and just sit and watch the kids playing. Maybe it’s sex… hey, rip a piece and get to a good place. Whatever you have that makes you happy, do it. Forgedabout what you “should” be doing. If you’re in a funk in all likelihood it won’t go well anyway.

Counting your blessings has a way of helping you move your stare up from the gutter to the sky. When you choose to focus on how lucky you are instead of what your co-worker said to piss you off, you choose the sky. Let the co-worker rattle around in your head and you’re choosing the gutter. You’re choosing.

You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. So if you think that you can fix whatever is making you miserable by focusing on the external, you’re going to stay sad. Instead, take a deep breath and remember that you may not be in control of everything that happens to you, but you are always in control of how you react. You can go shopping and buy crap you don’t need to get yourself into a better mood or you can focus on your blessings.

Saying something nice to someone else will help too. Tell your kid how gorgeous (s)he looks today and catch the smile in your heart. Call a friend and tell her how much you love her and feel the love radiate back to you. Spend some time with people you like and watch your misery evaporate.

Make yourself smile. Sometimes just focusing on a little thing, smiling and breathing – just for about five minutes or so – can make the world of difference. Pull out that photo album of good memories and flip through. Or go sit on the swings for a few minutes. Give your honey a long hug. There now, don’t you feel better already?

 

This & That: Enough Edition

D Wrote: I have searched your archives and have not been able to find anything related to my inquiry. My wife and l are retired and still under 65. We have a net worth combined of somewhere near 2 mil. With no debt and are by no means “wealthy”. Just a hard working frugal couple with no children. My question may be the foundation for another book or television series. The question is: Having accumulated this “wealth” of Stocks, mutual funds, property and THINGS at what point should we begin spending? It is not an amount of money so great as to allow unfettered spending but we should like to do some travelling while still “young”. We have no heirs and do not care to leave anything for the tax man. Most financial planners we have encountered only advise on saving or accumulating more wealth and none can suggest when enough is enough. Absolutely love your programs and have a couple of nieces that may qualify as “Princesses.”

Gail Says: What a great question: When is enough “enough?”

How much you’ll need is dependent on your current age and life expectancy, your sources of income as well as the lifestyle you want to lead: your budget.

You’re under 65, but how far under? And how long do you anticipate living? Are you healthy? Did your parents live to ripe old ages? The longer you’re in retirement, the more money you need. And if one of you is going to outlive the other by a significant amount of time, then your plan needs to take that into consideration.

Sources of income are important too. Do you have pensions? Are there survivor benefits? How much? Will you get the max in OAS and CPP? Most people don’t realize the average payout from OAS and CPP combine is just a little over $7K a year each. But if you get the max, you could get as much as $16K each. Deciding when to take CPP is part of that calculation since if you think you’ll live a long, long time, you may want to delay your CPP and get more (your payout goes up for each month you delay taking CPP after age 65) to act as inflation protection.

You say your net worth is somewhere near $2 million. If a large part of that is wrapped up in your house (or other hard assets) are you prepared to sell and realize those assets (or part of those assets) as part of your retirement strategy?

Have you done a budget for retirement that delineates the “must haves” and the “nice-to-haves” so you know exactly where you stand financially?

 

C Wrote: I have the opposite problem that most seem to have. I am a pathological saver! I pinch pennies to my detriment, even when I was only bringing $32,000(net) living in a big expensive city I still managed to save 26% and put 27% towards my car payment. I don’t know how to relax and have fun. This really upset my partner who is the complete opposite. How do you relax and live a little while still being responsible.

Gail Says: When I was in supersaver mode after my last relationship ended I actually had to put a line on my budget called “pleasures”, allocate a specific amount to the category (it was $200 a month) and make myself spend it. Try that.

 

S Wrote: I am barely 11 years old and I already have over $650 in the bank because of how awesome you and your shows are. Turns out I am richer than practically everyone on your show!

Gail Says: Yes m’love, you very well might be. And you’re pretty smart too. Good for you. Now let’s see how good you are at teaching your friends and family about how to be sensible with their money! You go girl!

 

N Wrote: I have written to you a few times, but I have not seen an answer to my questions on your web site. I enjoy watching reruns of your shows, and I think I am learning, but my husband and I are having a difficult time. Our income is sky-high (we are in the 1%), yet we cannot manage a monthly budget. We live a life that I fear is beyond our means, and although we save about $60,000 per year, I believe we could be saving 3 times that amount with no pain. We are Money Morons, despite our many degrees. My husband is famous in our small city, and he wants everyone to know how fabulous we are. For example, we have memberships at the Faculty Club, the Royal Glenora and the Derrick Club, plus his health club membership at the Hotel Macdonald. We don’t just take luxury holidays; we get the best suite on the boat, and the best suite at the hotel. We have three kids under 5, I am not going back to work, and I worry about the future. My father is a capable financial planner, but I am ashamed to have him know how much we could be saving vs. how little we actually are saving. Even well-off people need your help. Please help us, Gail. I can give up Escada and shop at the Bay. I do not need the extravagant jewelry. I like it, but I don’t need it. We need some help getting straightened out.

Gail Says: You say you fear you are living beyond your means in one breath and then tell me you’re saving about $60,000 a year in the next. M’love, if you’re debt free and saving $60K a year, you are doing fine. Seriously. But maybe it is that you don’t actually know the ins and outs of your finances and that’s got you a little creeped out. Could it be that your partner does the money management in your family and you’re feeling out of the loop? If so, I suggest you gather up all the paperwork, do a spending analysis, a budget and a net worth statement and see what’s what. That should put your mind at ease.