Sahira Javaid's Blog, page 3

Pain is Not Quantitative

Hey, I hope your week has been going well! If you are having any struggles, then I hope the best for you. Here’s a post I had written and kept on my computer since February, but never posted it, until now.   Pain is what hurts and everyone feels it. We each have our own […]

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Genuine

A lazy smile aside, And we’ve tried, Tried, Tried to reach out We never needed to shout But I turn and I’m greeted By the past, defeated By the shadow that looms Over me, but I have no room For the pain, I’ve healed I’ve steeled Myself for any disappointment   My smiles are now […]

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Review: A Crown Of Wishes

Author: Roshani Chokshi Genre: YA High Fantasy Rating: 5/5 stars! If Roshani’s words aren’t enough to leave you spellbound, then I’m not in love. ( I so am in love. An encapsulating kind of love.) I’m in love with this book, so much, It’s now on the top of my most beloved of books. People […]

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Giveaway for 12 YA books! ( ENDED)

Love to read young adult fantasy, romance, dive into magical worlds and inspiring poetry? The Winner Are: a Rafflecopter giveaway Don’t wait any longer. We’ve been planning this all of last month and now it’s here! Win six books from best selling young adult authors and six poetry books, including Rupi Kaur’s milk and honey […]

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Giveaway for 12 YA books!

Love to read young adult fantasy, romance, dive into magical worlds and inspiring poetry? a Rafflecopter giveaway Don’t wait any longer. We’ve been planning this all of last month and now it’s here! Win six books from best selling young adult authors and six poetry books, including Rupi Kaur’s milk and honey and signed copies […]

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Dear Old Me

You know all the screams

And your aching dreams

To have peace?

Well, I wanted to tell you,

It’s only fair

The mother,

Who we saw as a monster,

She’d play mind games

And cause you pain

Trauma and sheer abuse

A pretty toy to just use

 

She doesn’t live here

Anymore, she’s not near

I really mean it,

I’m serious!

I know it sounds too

Good to be true,

 

I’m so sorry you had

To go through all the bad

Things in your life,

Your childhood was

Filled with pain and suffocation

I’m so sorry, but your resurrection,

Me,

Did get to see our future

And oh God, I’m sure

You would have been so happy!

We’re free, free! We’re free!

 

Free of the constant abuse

She doesn’t live here,

So I have nothing to fear

Not anymore.

 

The silence you longed for,

Finally, it’s here, no more

Having to plug your ears,

And choke on your tears

every single day, I’m so sorry

 

I know what love is

 

Love is not her eating

Your pain and laughing

Or living off your constant fear

Love is gentle and kind

Love is goodness

Love is even if they make mistakes

You still love them and don’t punish

Love is taking care of yourself too

 

I’m truly sorry,

For how you tried to give up

Many times you’d trip up

Eager to escape life

It’s time I mourned you

It’s my right to,

 

And at the same time,

I’m glad you were not mine

You were not mine to be,

I am stronger, wiser

My faith makes me braver

 

If only you could see,

Life is not for you to shed,

I made it this far, it led

Me to a brighter day

That light they kept taking

From you, and depriving you

Of its possession, yours to keep,

Well, it shines so bright in me

 

I will not let them devour me

I don’t die in silence, I speak

I don’t lie, my truth is loud

I don’t ache, the warmth is sound

 

Dear old me, you used to say,

“Why? I don’t want to live anymore!”

But, I’m showing,

“How? I want to live and be more.”

 

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Writing the Sequel and Update

Hey, everyone. I joined CampNanoWrimo for April and  I haven’t been updating as much, so this is a great time to do it!

Writing the Sequel

I’m currently writing the sequel to Psyche Twist. You can check out the Pinterest board for Of The Essence.

Since then, I’ve written up to chapter 5, so that’s exciting! I have most of the plot points and ideas written.

I never could have imagined I’d finish the first book. Now, with the second being written, it brings back that freedom to write and sweep all my ideas onto the page to create a skeleton of sorts. You know, then after you have that, you can flesh it out. *snickers.* get it? That’s the beauty of the first draft. You write out everything and don’t get worried about any typos, spelling or details that might be irrelevant. You can worry about that later when you edit. Right now, I’m orchestrating the story so it can have a chance to breathe and become something.

Community of Writers

Writeon by Amazon was my first community. I went out of my comfort zone and shared my book with strangers. It was scary and I was worried about not getting any help. That maybe I would be pummeled by negative comments. Oh my, was I ever wrong! I was welcomed. I received helpful feedback that didn’t push me down, but helped me as a writer and as a person. People actually liked my writing and my story. I didn’t expect all the positivity. I made friends and rapport with other writers and now we have this close knit family.

Unfortunately, they closed last month, so we all moved on to Wattpad and the camp. It’s the first time I joined an online community of writers who support one another as they tread on their journey to write and continue creating stories. The best thing is that we all wanted to keep in touch. We were a family of sorts, so we moved on together so we could continue being open, welcoming and supportive for one another. Without all the people I met there, I wouldn’t be as brave about sharing my books, or have grown as a writer. I’m truly grateful for them.

Speaking of the bravery, I went back to Twitter and connected with others. It’s been the same positive experience I was craving. It’s funny that we get scared or we doubt others will want to talk to us. Thing is, no matter how scared you are, you have to try and reach out to people. Fear is a lying leader. When you do feel it, usually you’re about to do something really brave, which will help you grow as a person. Now I’m participating in poet chats, interacting with other writers, tweeting about making others smile, humorous posts and positive thinking. It’s been an amazing experience.

Tid Bit

We’re thinking of releasing a sneak peak of Psyche Twist for free on Amazon and a giveaway soon after.

 

Let me know if you’re also doing CampNanoWrimo or even NaPoWrimo. (poetry writing.) Have you been hitting your desired word count? If not, share your thoughts on the whole experience. I’m looking forward to it!

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Healing my Thyroid Naturally

It’s been three years since I started reducing my symptoms and healing my thyroid naturally. To be honest, life can be unpredictable. I had been fighting in many ways to slowly heal my thyroid. If you have a low functioning thyroid, hopefully I can give you ways to reduce your symptoms too.

If you’re not familiar with what hypothyroidism is, it’s when your thyroid ( A butterfly shaped gland in your neck)  is not creating enough hormones. Hypothyroidism is low thyroid, while hyperthyroidism is a high thyroid.

The thyroid is a special gland. I was amazed at how much it does. It’s a superhero for your body. It takes iodine and turns it into a hormone thyroxine ( T4) and triiodothyronine (T3). These two hormones are sent into the blood stream where they  control your metabolism.

Here’s the list of symptoms which I had  it’s kinda scary):

Chronic fatigue

Brain fog

Insomnia

Weakness

Wake up feeling tired

Weight gain

Inability to lose weight

Cold feet

Feeling cold most of the time

Hair loss

Dry itchy scalp

rashes

Soft and brittle, ridged nails

Tingling in legs and hands

Headaches

Muscle and joint pain

Food sensitivity

Irregular periods

Emotional tension

Irritability

Mood swings

Anxiety ( it was really bad)

Adrenal fatigue

Anemia

Fast pulse

 

… I was cringing as I typed that all out. Yes, I experienced all that. Out of all those, I still do struggle with two. The dry itchy scalp and that monthly visitor isn’t as long as it had been. That should speak volumes about the struggle and my victory over all those terrible symptoms.

 

The Journey

It was fall of 2014 and I noticed I had suddenly gained more weight and had hormonal problems with the monthly you know who. When it didn’t go away and I hate to say— I didn’t do anything until the spring— I finally went to the doctor and had a blood test done.  I was anxiously waiting back for the results and what he told me baffled me.

Low thyroid. But only by a little bit and my vitamins were low. My iron was also low. He explained that’s why I felt so weak and tired all the time. Although he did tell me to up my vegetable intake. So that was a plus!

So now if you look back at that list of symptoms, it really is scary. I was told it was just a little low. A little low did a whole lot of damage!

The doctor gave me a prescription for synthetic thyroid medication and sent me on my way.

After figuring out what I even had. I decided not to take the synthetic road and went the natural way.  That was back in 2014. I remember I had my energy back by 2015. Today, I have two symptoms out of the countless I had to endure. Victory!

 

My Plan

I ate more vegetables and fruit. Tried to get more than 7 servings a day

Yup, sometimes the simplest thing can do wonders. I ‘d stick in veggies whichever meals I could.  Breakfast? Omelette with spinach or kale. Lunch? Homemade burger with lettuce, or a smoothie along with rice and curry. Dinner? I baked up carrots, celery, sweet potatoes with chicken and even added herbs.

For days I didn’t eat as much veggies, I’d drink a green powdered drink. Like Macrogreens.

Probiotics for your gut

Many diseases can be traced back to the gut. We end up annihilating friendly colonies of bacteria over there with antibiotics. It’s a bacterium fearing world out there. What we need is to populate and replenish our flora. We have good bacteria that help digest and absorb the nutrients in our food. This was a major cause of why I had so little vitamins in my body. (Despite supplementing with synthetic vitamins)

Eat foods like fermented vegetables, sauerkraut, pickles, yogurt and kefir. You can even take a good probiotic supplement

I replaced my white table salt with Himalayan salt. It’s mineral rich and helps your water intake too.

 

I gave up soy.

Although I might add soy sauce with baked salmon or sushi, sometimes.

 

No processed foods, or at least kept it to a minimum.

I was able to swap out chips, cookies, and chocolate for a better quality. So I don’t restrict myself 100% but I try to eat 80% healthy and leave the remaining 20% guilt-free.

Vitamin B12

In the beginning, I was taking sublingual vitamin B12. ( methylcobolamin, which is absorbed easier) For the energy I needed. Eventually I found B12 by eating more:

Grass fed meat and dairy.

Free-range or pastured eggs

Exercise! But not too much

But, since having a low thyroid can stress your body out if you over work yourself, you have to do it right. You don’t need to hit the gym for hours on end. Go run, play or dance for 30 mins at least if not 45. That’s the sweet spot for time.

Adjust your workout according to how you feel right after it. Feel good and pumped? Then great, keep that timing. If you get sickly, low energy and feel like a hot mess after 30 mins? Then bring it back.

 

Take a breather and de-stress

Pray, meditate. Whatever gives you time to relax, calm your mind and body. Even if it takes five minutes. Try to get that time in and focus on your healing. Positive affirmations are a treat to your brain.

 

I cleaned out my medicine cabinet, cosmetics, cleaning supplies etc.

I got rid off all the toxicity that was getting in contact with our skin. I found natural alternatives for our soap ( like Castile, black African shea butter soap) shampoo, cleaners and toothpaste. Trashed the Crest, antibacterial soap bars and bought clay based toothpaste, natural soaps and body washes, laundry detergent, baking soda and essential oils. They were the most effective for our skin and for staving off bacteria and viruses. These changes were probably the easiest to do. You get rid of a lot of foreign toxic chemicals this way too.

We’d use elderberry syrup, raw honey and the occasional mint, eucalyptus lozenge for colds and flus.

 

 

More healthy fat!

You’ve seen low-fat everything in the stories. Low-fat shoved in our faces and our mouths.  Healthy fats are: avocados, grass fed butter, olive oil, olives, nuts etc. They help our body to perform better. Our brain needs it especially. You get fuller longer. I’ve eaten an egg with half an avocado and I’d be fuller longer. Plus, all the nutrient dense food helps you lose weight as well. I’d eat a lot and continue to eat healthy fats and didn’t gain more weight.

 

Swap out that non-stick for glassware, ceramic and steel

This one can be tough. But if you hop onto sales and store clearances you can benefit from the plastic free containers and cookware.  We still have a few since family can be stubborn. Plastic mimics estrogen and that’s a no no especially when your thyroid is having a breakdown.

Sprouted grains and soaked nuts and seeds

This one goes out to your digestion. When grains, nuts and seeds are soaked or sprouted they burst with vitamins and minerals and it’s easier for you to absorb those precious nutrients.

Don’t give up!

This goes for everything. My hope and determination kept me going. Don’t think you can’t do anything right. I tried and so many others I’ve learned from, who were battling low thyroid. If we can, then you can help improve your thyroid’s function.

Hopefully this helps. I urge you, if you have many of the above symptoms, please get yourself tested. There’s no perfection. All that I did, didn’t change me overnight.  So, take the small steps.

By sharing this, I want to give you support, encouragement and hope. I really do hope this can help you too!

Take care!

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True Self

Deceptions feed on dreams

Of what we wished on needs

The sources of our inner truth

But they are put to misuse

 

We don’t become different

We simply flee our imprisonment

The lies we were fed from others

Telling us we are their covers

 

And in turn it only smothers

Who we are, the being inside

Who keeps pushing aside

The lies your brain shouts

And the heart doubts,

 

So it tries to whisper,

But the mind can falter,

It shouts and floods

Your very blood

 

With the habits and likes

Which only live to strike

You down, pulling you deeper

Only to find a wall steeper

Than you started to climb

So how can you define,

Who you are?

 

By that instinct,

What makes you happy,

But does not hurt any

Person, you or thing?

What truly brings

You the joy to thrive?

What makes you so alive?

That it helps others and you?

That it brings light and truth?

 

There you will find your true self

The person underneath all the chaos

Who was the one who safeguards

The truth until you were ready

Since when your happy,

It’s not about time, but journey

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We Are Water

I’m more than a first or second look,

Don’t say you mistook,

Me for a billboard,

I know you expect discord

From me, but the definition

Of determination,

Is never to back down or bow

To the profanity of how

Your voice is loud and slurs

That’s how i know you’re absurd,

Because even a whisper is heard

Violent shrills are associated with hysteria

So how about you say it again now huh?

 

The cowardice of your lies, they shield

Your mind from truth and blur your field

Of vision, you only hear what is loud

But the softness of truth is a shroud

To the lies you suck and devour

How does it feel when others empower

On the weaknesses you try to hide?

You say I’m wrong, but you confide

In sins and atrocity, daily,

 

These words are not mine alone,

They are the countless echoes

Of those who have cracked

And they heal, heart intact,

All those who have been victim

To the names, the rhythm

Of abuse,

Whether it was your tattoos,

Your piercings, your hair colour

Your head covering, your stutter,

Your face, your voice, your skin

They never look at their sin,

The way they lap up the blood

Of the innocent and consume the flood

Of money, trauma, tears and souls

 

You think you hate,

What you love to discriminate,

You never truly investigate,

You can’t know me by a glance,

Instead you take a stance,

And right in that instant,

You call me an immigrant,

I’m a proud born Canadian,

You tell me i’m responsible

For what? The murder,

That i never committed,

What of the people overseas, slaughtered,

Oil, money, greed, lust courses your veins

Your humanity has faded away in vain,

You cover your eyes as children and mothers

They scream and die, and you blame only me?

You blame me, when i have all reason to blame you,

 

I could blame you for the murder of those i love,

I could blame you for the oppression of those

Seven seas away from me and you, i can blame

You for those imprisoned in their own homes, the pain

They had to suffer as tanks, soldiers and drones

Scatter the earth and skies like broken stars, tainted rivers

And toxic balloons of apathy and vulgarity

I can, i could blame you,

But, i won’t

 

You, nor I are the ones who use religion or beliefs

To kill, imprison, mutilate or threaten others,

Don’t you see beyond the blood-soaked fog,

And the dark abyss of satan’s pit of a heart?

We are all human, alive, we breathe, we feel,

When a hand full of us break away and rot,

Does the whole of mankind rot and become putrid?

Should I say that we all are responsible for a branch that is defiled?

 

You and i are more than a look,

We are all more than yellow, brown

White, pink, red, blue?

More than woman, man, rich poor

Tall, small, big, wide, slim

More than the Oh for

Heaven’s sake, if we were even green blobs,

Would it make any difference?

That we are human, and that

We as a whole cannot be blamed

Cause even oil won’t mix with water,

They are the oil, we are the water

If one drops, don’t imagine that it will smother

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