Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2176

GAME OF THRONES Re-Throned: “Two Swords” (S4, E1)

Winter is coming, but not soon enough. So to help pass the time until season seven of Game of Thrones, we’re doing a weekly re-watch of the series, episode-by-episode, with the knowledge of what’s to come and—therefore—more information about the unrevealed rich history of events that took place long before the story began. Be warned, though: that means this series is full of spoilers for every season, even beyond the episode itself. So if you haven’t watched all of the show yet immediately get on that and then come back and join us for Game of Thrones Re-Throned.

Because the next best thing to watching new episodes is re-watching old ones.

——

Season 4, Episode 1: “Two Swords”

Original Air Date: April 6th, 2014

Director: D.B. Weiss

Written by: David Benioff and D.B. Weiss

Nothing shocking or game changing takes place in this episode—the season four premiere has no major characters die and no battles are waged. It is primarily focused with table setting, introducing us to the current status of major characters following the craziness of season three. It’s mostly a series of conversations.

And it’s fantastic.

Each conversation carries so much weight (with copious hints of explosive events to come), that they are compelling both because of the emotional heaviness that has led the characters to these points, and what they portend about events to come.

The Thenns arrive to dine on some Crow meat while Jon is busy trying to prepare the Night’s Watch for the coming attack from Mance Rayder. Cersei tells Jaime it’s too late for them while he is busy struggling with how to keep his oath to Catelyn Stark—and Brienne—about how to save Sansa. Meanwhile Tyrion deals with Shae’s unhappiness, which pails in comparison to the problem of Oberyn Martell showing up and letting Tyrion know that House Martell has not forgotten what happened to his sister Elia, Rhaegar’s wife.

Sidebar to add: Oberyn’s introduction might be the best in the show’s history. He shows up fully formed—dynamic, enthralling, and with a rich history unto himself. It also perfectly set up a new enemy to House Lannister, which just started to feel safe after seemingly destroying House Stark. The show has made major mistakes with the Dorne story line, but it wasn’t because they failed at the start. The introduction was the best part.

But it’s the opening and closing scenes that show just how powerful the show can be even when no one is talking.

Season four’s first images, a rare pre-opening credits scene, is completely dialogue free, with only the Rains of Castamere playing in the background. It gives the episode its name, “Two Swords,” because we see Tywin Lannister triumphantly melting down Ned Stark’s Valyrian steel sword Ice, the ancestral sword of House Stark, to make two new swords for House Lannister, one for Joffrey and one for Jaime.

It’s a metaphor literally come to life. Tywin thinks he has completely destroyed House Stark (Sansa is married to Tyrion, and their children will be Lannisters who rule Winterfell). He doesn’t know that Bran, Rickon (for now), and Arya still live (he doesn’t care about Jon), so this is his final, cruel act in truly erasing the Starks.

The scene is menacing, framing Tywin less like a pragmatic patriarch who cares about his family at all costs, and more like a villain who relishes the pain and suffering he has brought into the world. Tywin would never claim to be a moral man, but he could always argue he was just a practical one who knows the cost of protecting his house in this world.

But in this private scene away from the public eye, we see that Tywin—like the many killers and sellswords that dot this world—relishes in causing pain to others. Tywin Lannister is not above enjoying vengeance. It makes him more human, but that’s why this scene is also the scariest one he ever had. Tywin is a villain, one with a plan and a brain, and that’s the scariest kind.

However, while the episode starts with the destruction of a Stark sword, it ends with a Stark getting one back—when Arya forces the Hound to face down some Lannister soldiers in a tavern (including Polliver who stole her sword Needle when they captured Arya’s group of boys heading to the Night’s Watch).

First, we are reminded why The Hound is one of the funniest people the show has ever had—in the great “chickens” scene—but it’s the action packed sequence that follows that speaks volumes. The gruesome, graphic sequence (it’s still hard to watch) ends when Arya brutally murders one man, and then reenacts the killing the death of Lemmy at Polliver’s hands. It isn’t enough for her to get her revenge, she needs to toy with him first, to let Polliver know why this is happening.

Tywin did not destroy House Stark—it still stands, and it still fights. The last scene is a perfect contrast to Tywin’s triumphant melting of Ice, especially since the vengeful Arya has more in common with Tywin than either might guess. Whether she manages to hold on to a humanity that Tywin lost, which ultimately helped destroy his family he was always striving to protect, remains to be seen.

In an episode full of conversations, these two scenes say the most without speaking a word.

What do you think of this episode? Swear it to the old gods and the new in our comments below.

Images: HBO

Somebody Made a New POKÉMON Game Inside MINECRAFT

It’s already been proven time and time again that Pokémon and Minecraft, while very different games, are a perfect match. In 2015, one fan built a working port of Pokémon Red—complete with Game Boy Color—in Minecraft. In 2016, somebody else brought Pokémon Fire Red to Minecraft with a shockingly accurate replica of a Game Boy Advance. Now, it’s 2017, and those projects were fun, but it’s time to up the ante.

And that’s just what a group called Phoenix Projects did with Pokémon Cobalt and Amethyst, an entirely new 3D Pokémon game that runs exclusively in Minecraft (via Polygon).

By “entirely new,” we do truly mean that this is a completely original game: After 31 months of development, it features 136 new Pokémon, the original Suliqu region, a fresh original soundtrack, and presumably other mind-blowing features. The video above gives a brief overview of the game, although it mainly covers how to run the game in your own Minecraft setup.

The game’s creators decided to post their own playthrough of the game, and in the 30-minute video below they begin their journey, which starts with a bang: a literal explosion, we mean. From there, it starts, and you start in a place called Serenity Town, in your mother’s house, because it wouldn’t be a Pokémon game with Mom in the house by herself.

Seeing how they created this full-fledged adventure is pretty amazing, so if you’re looking to see this unfold, watch the playthrough below, or if you’d rather give it a go yourself, the above video is the best starting point for you.

Featured Image: The Pokémon Company

DETROITERS is a Buddy Comedy That’s More Into Friendship Than Funny (Review)

Editor’s Note: this review contains very minor plot details for the first episode of Detroiters—if you think that’s a spoiler, just know you’ve been warned!

What makes an effective advertisement? Well, it should convey what the offering is, its features, and how to get in on it. Going past the surface level—because advertising is as much psychology as it is product awareness—author Simon Sinek expounded on this point during a 2009 TED Talk: “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.” Mad Men‘s Don Draper talked through a similar line of thinking in the second season episode “For Those Who Think Young,” saying, “You are the product. You feeling something; That’s what sells.”

These criteria aren’t true solely regarding advertisements, but about any creative endeavor. In Detroiters, the latest offering from Comedy Central (which debuts February 7th), Tim Robinson and Sam Richardson—the former of Veep fame and the latter a recent Saturday Night Live alum with both alumni of Second City—play struggling ad men trying to bring prosperity to their floundering agency. Just as their characters’ work tends to fall flat in the show, so does the show itself, as it fails, at least in its premiere episode, to establish a reason for consumers to pick it up from the shelf.

In the series debut, we’re painted a picture of what we’re working with: Sam (the two main characters borrow their first names from their actors) tapes a microphone to a broom handle for a makeshift boom mic as Tim sets up the shot with the “Hot Tub King of Detroit” (played by Steve Higgins). Their work is menial and local access-esque, but they aspire to greater things, as a phone call from an associate leads them to rush off set in an attempt to woo Chrysler’s vice president of marketing (Jason Sudeikis, who is also an executive producer along with SNL patriarch Lorne Michaels).

From there, events unfold predictably: They get a chance on short notice, spend too much time screwing around, but ultimately come up with a decent idea at the buzzer, but end up blowing it. Much like its rhythm, most other elements of the show, which have a grand lack of nuance, also come across as obvious. The characters, story, and jokes are largely flat, while background information is presented in strict defiance of “show, don’t tell”: We learn about the transition of the business from Tim’s father to himself and his father’s deteriorating condition through clunky dialogue that doesn’t give characters a chance to endear themselves to us.

If there’s a saving grace to Detroiters, the closest thing to it is Judy the bartender, who comes through with some clutch dialogue (“Two beers. Hot or cold?”). That’s about it, though. And while calling it bad might be a stretch, it isn’t particularly good either.

Comedians are really given a chance to see if they can make a worthwhile half hour of programming on Comedy Central, and we commend the network for that, but Robinson and Richardson’s attempt feels reminiscent of the premiere’s main plot: An opportunity that’s larger than they can handle (a reality that’s obvious to everybody but them) falls into their lap, but they end up bungling it by wasting too much time doing nothing productive before realizing they failed to capitalize on their chance.

Robinson and Richardson are funny guys (or they ought to be based on their backgrounds), but in this case, we’re not buying what they do, and we’re not entirely sure why they did it. The show’s commercials are more entertaining than the show itself, so in a meta way, that could be considered a small victory. Here’s hoping things settle in as the season goes on.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5 burritos

Featured Image: Comedy Central

COPS: SKYRIM Finds a New Partner to Fight Dragons and Giant Spiders

There’s only one Officer Jenkins in the land of Skyrim, and that’s probably a good thing! Through the first five seasons of Cops: Skyrim, we’ve followed Jenkins as he’s slashed his way through monsters, enemy forces, and some of his own peacekeeper colleagues. And he may have killed a few partners here and there. But as the sixth season of Cops: Skyrim continues, Jenkins may have finally encountered someone who can out-Jenkins him!

This week, we’re going to meet Officer Jenkins’ newest partner. He’s a mighty warrior with skills that may even surpass Jenkins’ prowess with a sword. The newbie even idolizes Jenkins and he sincerely looks up to him for guidance. However, he’s also got a less than stellar mental capacity and a tendency to run into combat at any given moment. When even Jenkins thinks that the kid is too overeager, that’s usually a sign that he’ll be dying soon.

However, the new partner is so talented that he kills a dragon with ease and he even takes out two giant spiders before Jenkins can even finish a sentence. This has to be an existential crisis for Jenkins, as his partner could potentially overshadow him in the department. If only there was a way to use this guy’s brute strength against himself and take him down a few pegs. Knowing Jenkins, he’s already figured out how to do that in just a few easy steps.

What did you think about the latest installment of Cops: Skyrim? Let us know in the comment section below!

The STRANGER THINGS Season 2 Teaser Explained

There aren’t many TV shows that are worthy of their own Super Bowl ads, but last night’s reveal of the Stranger Things season 2 teaser trailer proved that Netflix’s insanely popular original series has definite staying power. And while we may have to wait until Halloween to fully unpack the answers, we’re excited to break down the teaser to uncover the show’s latest mysteries. What does it all mean? Today’s episode of Nerdist News is turning things Upside Down for answers!

Join host, and “Justice for Barb” chairwoman, Jessica Chobot, as she takes us back to Hawkins, Indiana; before pointing out that it’s totally BS for Dustin, Mike, and Lucas to have such perfect Ghostbusters costumes only a few months after the film came out. But that’s just to start! Did you notice the fourth Ghostbuster with the kids? We’re pretty sure that wasn’t Will or Eleven, which means that we may have gotten our first glimpse of Max; one of the new characters coming this season.

Speaking of Eleven, everyone’s favorite telekinetic little girl is back, and she was briefly seen here with longer hair…presumably so burgeoning star Millie Bobby Brown doesn’t have to keep shaving her head. However, things are looking less encouraging for Will. The trailer gave us a first look at Paul Reiser’s character as he oversaw some experiments on Will. But the bigger question is this: does Will literally bringing the Upside Down back to our world? Because if he’s not just having visions, then the whole town is gonna be in for some particularly nasty surprises.

Even Hopper is left in an explosive situation within a secluded cabin. Could that mean that the Duffer bros. are gonna go full Evil Dead on us? Watch your back, Hopper!

What did you think about our breakdown of the Stranger Things season 2 teaser? Leggo my Eggo, and let’s discuss in the comment section below!

The 12 Funniest Commercials from Super Bowl LI

If you followed along with our coverage of Super Bowl LI you’d know we were rooting for the actual champions: the commercials. While a few ads tugged at our heartstrings, got us a bit misty-eyed, or made us think–the commercials we gravitate to the most are the ones that went for laughs. With the Super Bowl over, the only thing left to do is deal with the barrage of “Oh! Did you see that one ad?” questions for the rest of the week. To combat those questions and give you a leg-up on your co-workers, we rounded up (in no particular order) some of the funniest and weirdest commercial moments of this year’s Super Bowl for your viewing pleasure.

#AvoSecrets | Avocados From Mexico

How do you make avocados entertaining? Well, you mix up a guacamole with an Eyes Wide Shut cabal of conspiracy theorists, Bigfoot truth-ers, and a quick jab at Tom Brady’s deflate-gate controversy.

Cleaner of Your Dreams | Mr. Clean

We’re a bit uncertain how to feel about seeing Mr. Clean gyrate around a house while he cleans, and feel just a bit weird about having to reevaluate how we feel about cleaning product mascots. The reveal of this ad is perfectly timed as the woman snaps out of her cartoon fantasy only to see her husband standing where the bald…genie? (Is Mr. Clean a genie?) was standing. It seems that this couple has a whole new system of foreplay going forward.

Easy Driver | Mercedes (Directed by The Coen Brothers)

Yeah, directed by the Coen Brothers! We were surprised too!  While the majority of the Super Bowl was full of serious Alfa Romeo ads, the one car commercial that went for laughs was this one from Mercedes. Blocking in rough and tumble bikers being with a fancy car would mean certain doom for almost anyone, but not when it’s Peter Fonda reprising his “Captain America” role from Easy Rider. This stops the bikers in their tracks out of respect for someone “still looking good” and who’s still hitting the road after all these years but, you know, in a considerably more comfortable ride.

Wix.com | Jason Statham & Gal Gadot Kick Some Ass

To be fair, this one doesn’t have too many laughs but it still quite a sight to see. Watching Gadot and Statham lay waste to an entire restaurant full of baddies feels like it should be the latest installment in the Transporter series but, as we find out, is just advertising a website building service. However, we do have to give props to the owner of Chez Felix who kept plugging away at his dream and still came out with a food truck despite what we can only imagine was a drawn-out court battle involving his restaurant blowing up and undoubtedly killing dozens of people.

“Humpty Hospital” | TurboTax

This one. Oh man. Give us a minute to hold back our gag reflex. We’re equal parts in love and horrified at this ad campaign that’s already seen a prequel of sorts. We love the idea of TurboTax using such a recognizable character in a brand new way and the execution is more perfect than we’d ever think it could be. But–and that’s a biiiiig “but”–we are severely grossed out by the anthropomorphic egg man bleeding yolk everywhere. Well done, TurboTax. These are great. But also, how dare you make these ads?

 “Romance” | Skittles

Leave it to Skittles to consistently raise the bar of their special brand of weird advertisements. It’d be a genius ad if we were only seeing each member of the family: a burglar, a police officer, and a puppet(?) all take turns eating the boytoy-thrown Skittles. What makes this one particularly amazing is the steady cadence of the whispering boyfriend calling out for “Katie.”

Bai | Justin Timberlake & Christopher Walken

This ad is probably the simplest one we saw during the Super Bowl and is, without a doubt, pure genius. We can’t imagine the crazy amount of money spent to secure *NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye.” However, it seems Bai had a few bucks left over to hire Timberlake and Walken to appear in the ad as well. Still, we have some questions. First, why isn’t the official name of this ad “Bai Bai Bai,” and secondly, could it be that Walken was there only because of an expensive premium to have Justin sing or speak the words to the *NSYNC tune?

“Hero’s Journey” Starring Melissa McCarthy | 2017 Kia Niro

This commercial proves the one thing we always sort of suspected about Melissa McCarthy. She’s an immortal being capable of taking any sort of damage that comes her way. We’re not sure if she’s a highlander or just some sort of indestructible mutant, but whatever she is, we want her included in some sort of superhero movie in the future. Also, credit to Kia for the association of “Hero” and “Niro” that’s bound to keep people remembering the ad and the name of their new vehicle.

George Takei, Oh My | Pizza Hut

Alright, we’re kind of cheating here since this one didn’t air everywhere and it was during the pre-game but come on–it’s George “Oh My!” Takei!

Science of Clean: 10 Dimensions starring Bill Nye | Persil ProClean

We’re not sure what “ten dimensions of clean” is and we refuse to Google it. We’re just happy to see Bill Nye in anything he chooses to do. We also need to know how to get invited to any summer parties Nye throws since he was obviously making a nice sangria by mixing wine and cranberry juice at the beginning of the commercial.

Adam Driver’s Live Snickers Commercial

We recognize that any attempt at live things these days (other than sports or news) is just a big gimmick. However, kudos to Snickers for hoodwinking us by purposely making a “failure” of a commercial. Having Adam Driver‘s enemy’s squibs go off, making them try to ad-lib a reason, and absolutely destroying the set is a welcome change to the cornier aspects of live attempts.

Though each of these ads produced the chuckles and chortles we come to expect in Super Bowl spots there was really only one (in our opinion) that truly delivered both excitement and some sincere laughs:

Come on, would you expect us to love anything else? You know what website you’re on, and that Drax line at the end is pure comedy gold!

What were your favorite Super Bowl ads? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Image: Persil ProClean

Katee Sackhoff Takes on a British Witch in Don’t Knock Twice (Review)

When a horror flick isn’t exactly the pinnacle of originality, as in the case of the new British occult thriller Don’t Knock Twice, an open-minded horror fan will generally focus on other components, as if to compensate for the familiar plot trappings. Fortunately for all involved, this new British import offers just enough sprinkles of novelty to keep the plot moving along. Plus it benefits from some really impressive audio/visual components, a pair of very strong lead performances, and a handful of legitimately scary sequences.

Katee Sackhoff plays Jess, an artist with a troubled past who once gave her daughter up due to some nasty drug problems. Now it’s nine years later, and young Chloe (Lucy Boynton) finds herself reliant on her estranged mother after a horrific “accident” takes place–so, between the troubled kid, the fractured mother/daughter relationship, and the change of scenery for Chloe,  we’re already dealing with a few fairly routine plot threads. But that doesn’t stop Don’t Knock Twice from forging ahead in a competent and confident fashion. Oh, and Chloe is being haunted by a particularly tenacious witch, it seems.

The complications between mother and daughter–Jess’ drug-addled past, Chloe’s unhappiness with foster care, and a few other issues worth dealing with–bring a sense of weight to the scary stuff because, thanks to a solid screenplay and two strong performances, we gradually grow to care for these two women. Ms. Sackhoff, generally known as a sardonic character player, provides one of her best dramatic performances to date, and Ms. Boynton is easily her equal, starting out as a typically snotty teenager before slowly transforming into a young lady worthy of our empathy.

Technical aspects also add a lot to the experience. While the first half of Don’t Knock Twice may feel sort like a horror movie you’ve already seen (perhaps two or three times), it’s a consistently beautiful movie to look at. From the quieter moments to the freaky finale, the cinematography by Adam Frisch is nothing short of lovely (even when it’s scary). Equal praise is due to the sound designers for using their own toy box to amp up the subtle tension and outright creepiness at key moments, and the impressive music score adds a nice layer of ominous suspense.

If it’s the strong work from the leads that gives Don’t Knock Twice a bit of emotional heft, it’s the attention to detail that makes it work as a horror story. Not only are the scary moments framed, photographed, and scored with a firm sense of creativity, but the special effects are also more than a little impressive. Javier Botet, a Spanish actor who specializes in playing tall, thin, freaky creatures, continues his strong of memorably disturbing performances as a legendary (and seemingly unstoppable) witch who won’t seem to stop terrorizing poor Chloe. Backed by the film’s impressive audio/visual sensibility and some truly icky make-up, this turns out to be one highly effective horror flick antagonist.

So while a substantial early portion of Don’t Knock Twice may feel a bit familiar, it quickly finds its feet and settles into a nice spooky groove that fans of indie/import horror will be sure to appreciate.

3.5 bewitched burritos out of 5

Images: IFC Films / IFC Midnight

 

 

Summer Can’t Come Fast Enough After the Super Bowl BAYWATCH Trailer

We’re going to go out on a limb here and say that the upcoming Baywatch movie is going to be pretty damn good. Why make such a bold statement? Well, because film reboots of older TV shows pretty much always deliver in some way or another.

In recent years we’ve seen a lot of films reboot older shows and we’re hard-pressed to sincerely complain about any of them. We need only point to the reboot of 21 Jump Street as proof that, as long as you don’t take things too seriously, a fun film can be produced. This new big screen incarnation of the 1990s lifeguard series Baywatch appears to know exactly what it is and, unless they’re pulling a fast one on us, it seems like it’ll be full of in-jokes and not-so-serious nods to what made the original show iconic.

The film stars Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in the role of Mitchell “Mitch” Buchannon that was made famous by none other than the legendary David “The Hoff” Hasselhoff. Joining him in his lifeguard exploits is a new recruit, played by Zac Efron, who seems to serve as the main annoyance of the veteran Buchannon. Efron and Johnson is a comedic team-up we simply cannot wait to see.

Because it’s the Baywatch universe, we can likely expect some sort of caper that can only be solved with the expertise and skill set that lifeguarding affords to  a choice few.

Baywatch hits the beach and theaters May 26, 2017 and also stars Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, and Priyanka Chopra. Also, for any BW purists, your prayers might be answered with a cameo or two from David Hasselhoff and Pamela Anderson.

What are your thoughts on the  Baywatch movie? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Image: Paramount Pictures

The New STRANGER THINGS Teaser Hints at a Major Return and Bigger Monsters

Stranger Things spoilers ahead! Read on with care if you haven’t seen season one!

There have been a lot of awesome trailers that have dropped during the Super Bowl this year, but one of the most hotly anticipated trailers has got to be the teaser for Netflix‘s Stranger Things, season two. While we didn’t get more than brief glimpses at our heroes in Hawkins, Indiana, this teaser was stuffed.

Of course one of the most exciting things we saw was Eleven–though we saw nothing more than a quick shot of a portion of her face–along with a retro Eggo commercial, because you can’t have Eleven without Eggos. But on a larger scale, it looks like killing the Demogorgon last season didn’t exactly rid the world of evil and monsters as completely as we would have hoped. In fact, it looks like things in Hawkins have gotten a hell of a lot worse, especially after the teaser showed us that crazy glimpse of a dark, red sky and some horrible, giant monster creeping just outside of Will’s front door (the internet is already speculating on what that monster is). Of course, Will’s been struggling a bit since his return from the Upside Down, so it is possible that it’s only in his head. Regardless, we know from our adventures with Eleven and the way the Upside Down interacted with our plane of existence that the evil in the Upside Down isn’t afraid to bleed into our world when given the chance.

And if that isn’t enough, it also looks like Mike, Lucas, and Dustin will also be taking up a bit of ghost-busting. It’s unclear if the boys are just dressed up for Halloween (that is when season two premieres, after all) or if they’re working on expanding their resume of supernatural creatures they’ve hunted. Regardless, October cannot get here quickly enough! Bring on Stranger Things season two!

What did  you think of the teaser? What are your season two predictions? Tell us in the comments!

Feature Image: Netflix/YouTube

Fasten Your Seatbelts for the THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS Super Bowl Spot

This latest trailer for The Fate of the Furious is exactly the type of ad we need to see during the Super Bowl! Watching the continuing and ever-escalating adventures of the Fast and the Furious gang is now just as American as baseball, apple pie, and–of course–the Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl spot doesn’t give us much new footage than what we’ve already seen in previous trailers but it does drive home exactly what we’re excited for with the new film. We’re still unsure of why Dominic Toretto has turned his back on his crew but we can only assume he’s got an incredibly good reason for it. And until we figure out just what his reasons are, we’re content watching the rest of his pals do their best to stop him and the manipulative Cipher, played by Charlize Theron.

In a film series like this, it’s hard to up the ante with each installment. While they’re certainly doing their best to escalate things with the addition of a automobile-based ice battle that eventually involves a tank driven by Mr. The Rock Johnson and a goddamned submarine–switching up the teams and pitting friends against each other is certainly a way to do so as well.

Thankfully, we don’t have to wait too long to see what gasoline-fueled mayhem the crew gets into as The Fate of the Furious is coming to theaters in April. We just hope that whatever happens, we’ll get to see The Rock and Vin Diesel make up by the end of it. The world is a better place when those two are on the same team.

What are your thoughts of The Fate of the Furious? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Image: Universal Pictures