Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 98

Filling Your Emotional Bucket: Tub-Full Tuesday

I'd be lost without the community of mothers who share all they know about parenting, and just as importantly admit to what they don't know so I feel better. Today, a fellow author and fellow mother, Melissa Foster, shared an article on Calming Your Chaos, featured in Calgary's Child Magazine. Lord knows we moms know a thing or two about chaos.

Melissa begins the article stating, "We start our days with one virtual bucket filled with emotional energy. Once we've expended that energy, we have nothing left to give." Sound familiar? She then offers three tips to refill your emotional bucket. Most importantly, she suggests making time for yourself and appreciating the time you manage to find. For more wonderful tips, please link to the article above.

In addition to raising six kids, Melissa Foster is the award-winning author of Megan's Way, Chasing Amanda, and Come Back to Me. She is also the founder of The Women's Nest, a social and support community for women, and WoMen's Literary Cafe. She is always giving back, sharing what she knows, whether it's to women, writers, mothers, or all three.

Both Megan's Way and Chasing Amanda are on my Kindle, and I can't wait to read them! I recently finished reading an advanced copy of Melissa's new book, Come Back to Me. Tomorrow, I will post my review on GoodReads. For those, like me, who need to know now... lean in, I'll give you a quick overview... it's wonderful and I highly recommend it!

Thanks to Melissa, and all the other wonderful people who make it a mission to fill people's tubs (or buckets as Melissa would say).

How do you refill your emotional bucket?

For more on Melissa Foster and her wonderful books and upcoming Come Back to Me Launch Party, please visit her website.

What Makes a Blog Attractive? Part Three on How to Set Up a Blog

Welcome to Part Three in our series on How to Set Up a Blog written by Dana Newbrough, our Web/Blogmaster (and my sister). We hope you've enjoyed this series. If you missed Part One or Part Two, please check them out.

*****
Whatmakes a blog attractive?

It is not specific. Everyone has their own viewpoints on what is or is not attractive, buttrust me–put some work into your blog or website! The saying "you cannot judge a book by itscover" is idealistic, but unrealistic. People all the time pick up books based on their cover, a dress based onhow it looks on the rack, and will make assessments of people based on how theypresent themselves. So, assume they willdo the same for your site. 

Make itpretty, make it dark, make it modern or artistic… but whatever it is, it shouldclearly represent what you are talking about, what you are selling, or yourviewpoint on a particular issue. 

A genericdefault template may be easy and your information/product may be great, but welive in a very visual fast paced society. You might think your"product" is truly special, but there are a lot of blogs/websites out there. Make your blog or website visually stimulating and informative.According to the PC Informant and The Royal Pingdom there were 255 million websites posted as of December 2010, that is a lot ofcompetition! You want to grab yourviewers quick and keep them before they move on!If you makethese goals for your website, then you will have a website/blog that peoplewill check regularly, bookmark, and share with friends.  Remember, have fun and never lose sight of yourself and yourproduct. Your authenticity will shine and your readers will appreciate it and come back again and again.

*****
Thanks, Dana!

We'd love to know... what turns you off a blog, especially visually?

Drifting Away: Third Campaigner Challenge

RachaelHarrie's Third Campaigner Challenge as part of the Author Platform BuildingCampaign:
Write a blog post in 300words or less, excluding the title. The post can be in any format, whetherflash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog postshould show:·        thatit's morning, ·        thata man or a woman (or both) is at the beach ·        thatthe MC (main character) is bored ·        thatsomething stinks behind where he/she is sitting ·        thatsomething surprising happens. Just for fun, see if you can involve all fivesenses AND include these random words: "synbatec,""wastopaneer," and "tacise." (NB. these words arecompletely made up and are not intended to have any meaning other than the oneyou give them).*****DriftingAwayThe sun began to creep from its hiding place, warming the sand beneath her toes. She spread her fingers through thegrains, moving past her bare legs to begin shifting sand over one foot and thenanother. Creamy vanilla and caramel colors swirled with the teals, greens, andblues of the waves moving just ahead of her. Such synbatec beauty couldn't stop the yawn from escapingher dry lips. Full shopping bags awaited her in the room, thecredit card he gave her maxed out. She reached for her water, the cool liquid easing down herthroat. A deep sigh followed.Paul motioned for the waiter just before the cell phone went off again. "It's Miss Raphine. I have to take this," hewhispered and walked away. Why had she come? He said they'd get away, focus oneach other. With each tacise lie, pieces of the relationship broke away. She closed her eyes and melted into the cocoon ofthe expensive towel. A wave of nausea rose as thescent of bacon and wastopaneer drifted toward her. He knew she hated both, they argued about it lastweek before boarding the airplane. Her head fell to the side, her eyes drifting open.She saw children she'd never have running down the beach, a man and womantrying to keep up. An old couple sat in chairs under an umbrella watching thefun. The shutdown began, like the spin cycle of a washingmachine… slowing, slowing. The orange bottle was empty beside her. The smallpills once inside it were working their magic, easing her load. Her breathingbegan to slow, and peace came.*****I found this challenge extremely difficult, but awonderful exercise to practice show-don't-tell. If you enjoyed my piece, pleasestop by RachWrites… and vote for me, #118. Please take a few minutes to read some of the other wonderful pieces and vote for your favorites.

Footloose, A Lesson in Voice: ROW 80 Check In

I've been looking forward to the Footloose remake ever since it was announced, back when Zac Effron from High School Musical was attached to the project. Footloose was one of my favorite movies as a teenager. So much so, it's featured as one of Krista's favorite movies in Depression Cookies .

As I sat there with my middle school daughter, memories swirled and I missed my youth. Okay, I felt old. Plus, it was surreal to be watching the same movie I saw as a teenager with my preteen. Did I say I felt old?

In a post earlier this week, I asked readers to help me with voice. Specifically, "Do you think your voice has changed much since your teenage/young adult years? How so?" Most commenters agreed the voice doesn't drastically change, but the focus does.

I remember Footloose being a fun, teenagers-teach-adults-something movie full of dancing and great music. The remake struck me differently. I'm a mom now, and I found myself focusing more on the parents and their grief, the unbearable loss of their own child, than the kids and their dancing. Again, surreal. I still enjoyed the dancing and music, although I think the original had better music, but I got teary-eyed several times. Never felt like crying watching Kevin Bacon strut his stuff in the original.

So there you go, embracing life taught me something about writing. The priceless extra... I spent a fun afternoon with my preteen daughter.

Quick update on my A Round of Words in 80 Days progress:

Writing
Results: I'm working on it, and Mom just sent me another chapter to respond to, so I'm hoping for an excellent writing week.
Reaction: This week has been more research than novel writing, but I've written a new book review and blog posts, so all is not lost on the writing front. Still exercising those writing muscles.

Depression Cookies blog
Results: Posted daily and twice one day.
Reaction: Feeling good. I'm really proud of how far this blog has come in the six months I've really been focusing on it.

Mom in Love with Fiction blog
Results: Posted three times this week.
Reaction: Best week ever for this blog! More exciting reviews and book musings to come.

Miscellaneous
Results: A few pages into Becoming a Writer. I'm enjoying getting around to ROW80 blogs, but would love to visit more. So exciting to see how many people are participating and checking in!
Reaction: Need to focus on the craft book, and would love to read and comment on 20 blogs between now and Wednesday. Wish me luck.

Hope all my fellow ROW80 participants are having a stellar writing week!

For a bit of fun: What favorite movie from your teen years would you like to see remade?

Bagpipes at a Funeral: Men and Directions

Mom's back, and interesting and humorous as ever. Enjoy her post!

If a man will begin with certainties, he shallend in doubts, but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end incertainties.                                                                   FrancisBacon

*****Bagpipes at a Funeral (author unknown)Asa bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director toplay at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, sothe service was to be a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back county.

AsI was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical man, Ididn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeralguy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only thediggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

Ifelt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of thegrave and looked down. The vault was already in place. I didn't know what elseto do, so I started to play.Theworkers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played myheart and soul out for this man with no family and friends. I played like I'venever played before for this homeless man. Andas I played Amazing Grace, theworkers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When Ifinished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. My head hung low, myheart was full as I walked away.

Openingthe door to my car, I overheard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin'like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

ApparentlyI'm still lost… it's a man thing!

*****AfterI read this and laughed my head off, I thought of all the times my husband and I were ontrips, got lost and drove in circles because he refused to ask for directions.At this point, I knew I had two options: I could keep my mouth shut and let himfigure it out or speak up and see his ire flame.  Either way, I would probably lose, but maybe ifhe had had a "bagpiper" experience, his future reactions might have beendifferent. Probably not. In fact today he would probably say it never happened,but these events are indelibly imprinted on my mind.

Pleasetell me I'm not the only woman who seethes over this one.

The Meaning of Words: Friday Feature

Welcome to our Friday Feature: The Best Thing We Read this Week and Why. I'm a day behind (and a dollar short, but that's another story) on this one, but yesterday was the National Day on Writing. From the National Council of Teachers of English:

Why a National Day on Writing?In light of the significance of writing in our national life, to draw attention to the remarkable variety of writing we engage in, and to help writers from all walks of life recognize how important writing is to their lives, NCTE established October 20 as The National Day on Writing. The National Day on Writing:
points to the importance of writing instruction and practice at every grade level, for every student and in every subject area from preschool through university (see The Genteel Unteaching of America's Poor ), emphasizes the lifelong process of learning to write and composing for different audiences, purposes, and occasions, and encourages Americans to write and enjoy and learn from the writing of others. Prior to yesterday, I never heard of this day but am so glad teachers are still emphasising writing. There's so much we can learn from great writers, from people who take the time to process life and record those thoughts.

Plus, this past Sunday, October 16, was Dictionary Day in honor of Noah Webster's birth on this date in 1758. Where would writers be without dictionaries? My dad had a nifty trick for teaching us vocabulary when we were kids. When we asked him what a word meant, he sent us to the dictionary to look it up and suggested we also look at the word above and below it. I learned some amazing new words that way.

Online dictionaries just aren't the same, although I appreciate the speed at which my kids can look up a word. I guess I'm just a bound book kind of gal in all things. I'm slowly embracing books married to technology, but nostalgic about the way things once were.

What do you miss most about traditional books and dictionaries?

A Small Ripple in One Heck of an Ocean

In Depression Cookies, Krista is a teenager navigating the perils of teenage life and circumstances out of her control. I started writing this book as a new mom and found it difficult at times to make sure Krista's voice was free of mother thoughts.

An excerpt (during a particularly rough teenage moment):

"I was surviving, nothing more andnothing less. This in itself was a small victory. There were many times I feltlike nothing special. Have you ever realized it was not the same old robin ormourning dove that caught your eye while you were staring out the window?Usually, it took the brilliance of a blue jay or the sound of a red-headedwoodpecker to draw your attention. The other birds flew in and out of our liveswith no effect, not even a conscious awareness of their existence. I wasstarting to view my life this way . . . a small ripple in one heck of an ocean.If nobody remembers you when you're gone, did you ever really exist?"
Funny how I still struggle with these thoughts and how often I feel like I'm surviving day to day. I say to myself, "If I can get through Tuesday, I'll do something fun." But the commitments and responsibilities just keep on coming. The closer I get to my 40th birthday, 288 days (not that I'm counting), the more frantic I feel about defining myself and embracing life's moments. I thought I'd have it all figured out by now. I don't.

I worry sometimes about letting my more adult thoughts creep into Krista's voice. Mom and I are now writing the follow-up to Depression Cookies which has Krista heading off to college. Krista's voice needs to mature, but to what end? Other than language and a slightly increased ability to reason, and the second increases in very small increments with age, I've come to the realization that our fears and worries don't change a lot as we get older. Actually, the more knowledge and experience we gain, the scarier and more confusing things become.

Please tell me I'm not the only person who feels this way. Do you think your voice has changed much since your teenage/young adult years? How so?

Thanks in advance for comments. We'll call it research for the new novel, but I'm looking forward to the answers on a personal level, too. As hard as it is to question, I don't want to ever think I have all the answers.

Crazy is My New Normal: ROW 80 Check In

"I wish things would just get back to normal," I'll hear myself say to my husband as we pass each other and split up the kids to make all the events. I need to accept crazy as our new normal and be done with it. Even my writing comes in crazy spurts, rarely under my control.

I posted earlier today about my experience with a Web television interview, one of the highlights in a crazy couple of days. I'm so glad cameras don't follow me around on a regular basis. I don't know how reality stars handle it, even for fame. Fortune, maybe?
[image error] I'm taking a brief moment in the eye of the storm to post about my A Round of Words in 80 Days progress:

Writing
Results: Did I mention my new normal? I wrote, everything from blog posts to book reviews, but my WIP suffered. I'm having a hard time mentally jumping from the Depression Cookies follow-up to my YA novel.
Reaction: Ugh!

Any advice on switching between projects? I don't want my teenage character in my young adult novel to start sounding like the teenage character in my follow-up.

Depression Cookies blog
Results: Daily blogging.
Reaction: Cruising.

Mom in Love with Fiction blog
Results: Two posts already this week, planning one more.
Reaction: This blog is finally get the attention it deserves, and I'm enjoying it. Finished another Rebeccas Reads book, but decided to wait and start posting those once I can link directly to the review online (there's always a lag).

Miscellaneous
Results: I cracked open Becoming a Writer.
Reaction: But only cracked open. A few pages in, but it's a start.
Note: Really enjoying visiting and commenting on various ROW 80 updates. An amazing group this round!

Hope everyone is doing well and writing with ease.

Reality Television, Am I Sitting Too Close?

I admit to a fascination with some reality shows. I'm addicted to Food Network and thanks to my preteen daughter, shows like So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol. I'll occasionally turn into the train wrecks of more personal reality television shows like Keeping up with the Kardashians.

After wincing and squirming my way through personal revelations for the sake of entertainment, I usually turn it off. Same is true when I turn on Supernanny, but that's because I live moments of that show everyday. Too much reality!

Recently, I attended career day at my daughter's middle school and talked about writing and editing in today's marketplace. I discussed the difficulty of getting a traditional publishing contract, unless a famour person like Sookie. Well, I guess she's called Snookie. Who knew? I'd rather watch True Blood anyway, so you can understand my faux pas.

The thought of someone coming in and taping my day-to-day life is terrifying. We'd be a mix of Supernanny-style theatrics, Food network challenges (and not in a good way), and me sitting at a computer. Worse than that... seeing myself on camera constantly. I always feel so sorry for the famous people on the front of magazines with their faces blacked out and a title, "Who's This at the Beach." Poor things, even a mid-day pooch starts rumors of pregnancy. I'd be pregnant all the time!

[image error] Yesterday, I got a taste of reality television when the lovely Ann Marie featured me on her Mom Advocate Web TV show. Please click here or on the right sidebar to watch. She's lovely and so enthusiastic about moms and following your passions. But, I've never felt so awkward. Web cameras suck, to be frank. Do you sit back and seem small, or sit too close and come across as a huge head? Do you look at the person interviewing you or that small camera at the top of your computer? Calgon, take me away...
Note to others considering web television interviews: there is no amount of makeup to make you look like you are wearing makeup through a web camera. Just so you know. I went heavier than I feel comfortable with, and I look like a ghost. A big ghost face!

Still, I'm happy with what we talked about, and that's the point, right? Plus, now when people meet me in person (you know at all my swanky events!), I can hear the standard, "You look so much better in person." Who wouldn't!?! Actually, I'll be hurt if they don't tell me that.

Also, in case you missed Ann Marie interviewing me on her Mom Advocate radio show back in August, please click here to listen. Radio is so much kinder, my voice I can handle.

Thanks so much to the lovely, Ann Marie, for featuring me on her shows. I hope you take a minute to stop by and listen/watch.

What do you think of Reality television? What would your show be like?

A Family Steeped in Creative Arts: Tub-Full Tuesday

I am blessed to come from a family of storytellers, writers, and readers. My maternal grandmother lined an entire room with books. My mom told bedtime stories to us as children from her imagination. They both taught us the love of reading and writing. But creative energy comes from Dad's side, too. My dad's oldest nephew, Marty Silverthorne, is a multi-published poet.

When my husband and I got married, I asked Marty to read an original poem made for us. No pressure! I promise to share that piece at a later date. I've been married sixteen years and moved many times, so I have to dig out the dust-covered wedding memories box!

I asked Marty how he started writing poetry. His response, "I fell in love with the music of poetry. I have always loved music. When I discovered poetry, it was a music I could write. It was a way to let memories shine. I love the old stories and come from a long line of storytellers, good and bad."

I am so thankful for generations of creativity... it truly fills my tub. I'm sharing one of Marty's poems today. Enjoy!

*****
Handiwork
[image error] He extends his arm, bent at the elbow,
fingers drawn, like he is reaching
for or giving away something.
He is speaking with his hands
like his father before him.

Everything I got, I got with these hands.
I quit the ninth grade andwent
to work at Ed Moore's Pure Oil.
He was a nasty bastard and Iquit
working for him before I  killed him.
I drove my two-tone Ford home,
crying all the way to yourmama
stretched out on the bed bythe box fan
bloated with you, Boy.
She helped me bring myselftogether;
I went out and got a jobbefore sunset.
That's the longest I've everbeen unemployed.
These hands have scraped tomake a living;
all I've got I built withthese hands.
Times ain't always been this good but it
looks like they're goingbackwards again.
With your mama's help and theLord above,
I'll pull this plow as long asthere's land to bust.

His empty hands brim withsunshine,
outstretched arms appear weary now,
palms full of sunlight and waiting.

©2010 by Marty Silverthorne

Marty Silverthorne holds degrees from St. Andrews Presbyterian College and East Carolina University. He haspublished four chapbooks "Dry Skin Messiah," "Pot Liquor Promises," "NoWelfare, No Pension Plan," and "Rewinding at 40."  Marty's poetry has been published in manyliterary journals including Tar RiverPoetry, North Carolina LiteraryReview, St. Andrews Review, and Pembroketo name a few. Marty currently works as a Clinical Addiction Specialist inGreenville, North Carolina.

*****
I, too, love music, and I love the idea of poetry as music. Is poetry music to you?