Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 80

Splitting: ROW80 Check In

Yesterday I attended a middle school parent meeting focusing on anxiety in adolescents. I sat directly across from the professional leading the discussion.

She began by identifying a growing problem in young kids, something she called splitting. These children are perfectionists, so they only see things as perfect or failure. Either they get a 100% on a test, or they've failed. Fear of this failure can start to rule their everyday lives.

I sat there, trying to take it all in. But what I was really doing... desperately trying to calm my mind on several levels. One, I constantly struggle with what my kids need from me as parent. Two, I struggle with what I need from myself to feel worthwhile and successful.

I'm quite the perfectionist. Loads of encouraging comments register, but one negative or scathing input will take over my mind. I need to work on that and not just for my children, but for my writing. Self-doubt is one thing, it happens to us all in varying degrees. (If it doesn't happen to you, please leave you name and number in the comment section, so I can call and pick your brain.)

Perfection can never be achieved, and who would want it? If we were all perfect, where would all the interesting stories we write about come from? They are called character flaws for a reason.

I must say, I'm constantly amazed how much I learn about myself while I'm trying to raise my children.

My ROW80 Update

Writing: All kinds of writing for A to Z, none for me. I need to get my head in the game and focus. Yes, life has been throwing me curve balls, but I just need to focus and swing at them. Can't win the game if you don't swing.

Editing: Took a step back for a few days after finishing my huge project. I have some beta reading and other editing work to do and will get back to it tomorrow.

Blogging: Still loving A to Z. This week: Networking = N, Onomatopoeia = O, and Picking and Piddling = P (thanks for that one, Mom). Plus, I posted a review on Mom in Love with Fiction.

Social Media: Doing my best to get around and comment.

Reading: I've read 20 books toward my 52-book goal!

Exercise: Running is going so well. It's finally clicking. I just wish it didn't make me so freaking hungry (and I wish my husband didn't make the best darned chocolate chip cookies around!).

Hope everyone is doing well. Check out fellow ROW80 participants here.

Piddling & Picking = P: Blogging from A to Z

Mom's back, and her P post is inspired by my dad (known to my kids as Papa). A P post by a parent about another parent. Perfect, if I do say so myself.

I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did. But maybe I have a distorted sense of humor brought about by the author and subject of the post below.

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Piddlingand Picking

Don’tlaugh. Both piddling and picking are an acquired art, according to my husband.From a child, he was called a piddler. If you don’t know what a piddler is, youhaven’t met one. Once you have, the definition is clear. It’s a state of beingwhere you aren’t rushing around like a mad fool and not stagnant like a wornout tire. You go about life’s business at a pace that allows you to fondlethings on your work bench or examine how sharp the blade is on your edger. Itisn’t loafing. It isn’t fixing things either. But it is all about lingering andstudying. And considering the manic pace of life today, I might agree piddling isan art form.

Butpicking? I’m not so sure if the act of picking is art, but the end product ifpicked well might be somewhat profitable. The TV show American Pickers is my husband’s favorite. In it, Mike and Frank gofrom town to town and through a lot of people’s barns, houses, stables, andgarages to find the perfect pick to bargain on, buy, and resale. Picking is whatI call a garage sale except you get dirty, touch rodents, and plow throughspider webs. Need I say more?

Myhusband debates from his recliner, loudly advising Mike and Frank how to be coyor bargain hard. But I’ve been watching him, and I do believe he has a crush onDanielle. She runs Mike’s shop, Antique Archaeology. She’s the gothic, tattoobabe that greets the “boys” when they check in. Personally, I think someone wholooked like Vicki Lawrence’s character, Mama, would make a bigger hit. At leastshe would add some humor to the show. Unfortunately the hubby says attractivewomen raise viewership. He points out Fox News. Need I say more?

Soif you have time on your hands, look on piddling and picking with disdain or asa waste of time, you might want to experiment with it in order to make aclearer judgment. I did. Need I say more?

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At our core, aren't writers and all artists piddlers?
We go around observing, taking in details. Granted, I tend to do this at an all-out pace. Maybe I should embrace slowing down and piddling. Heck, I'm all for some picking, too.
The journey from A to Z continues, and tomorrow is Q. Q! Can't wait to see the other participants tackling Q.

Onomatopoeia = O: Blogging from A to Z

I am a word nerd; I say it loud and proud. Words have the amazing ability, when strung together properly, to inspire and ignite. The fact that we've made up new words throughout the years to represent sounds and feelings is inspiring (unless that new word is irregardless, but that's another subject!).

Onomatopoeia: [on-uh-mat-uh-pee-uh, ‐mah-tuh‐]  1. the formation of a word, as cuckoo, meow, honk, or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent. 2. a word so formed. 3. the use of imitative and naturally suggestive words for rhetorical, dramatic, or poetic effect.

There's the obvious buzz, wham, tick tock and then there's the pure joy I get from even saying the word. Onomatopoeia rolls off the tongue like Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and simply makes me happy. Someone really should honor the word with a song (don't worry, it won't be me) and the melody it inspires.

It already brings to life so many of our favorite nursery rhymes like Baa Baa Black Sheep and Old MacDonald. What Mom has not spent countless hours perfecting her perfect woof, moo, meow, and quack? And to honor O, there's ouch, ow, and oink.

Now that my children are getting older and approaching the teenage years at a rate I cannot control or slow, I have new appreciation for onomatopoeia. Words like mumble, huff, huh, hiss, growl, chatter, screech, sniff, ugh, whisper, and so on.

What's your favorite example of onomatopoeia?

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O down, eleven more to go P to Z.
Thanks for joining me!

Find some other great O bloggers here.

Networking = N: Blogging from A to Z

Prior to publishing my first novel, Depression Cookies, in October 2010, I was a closet writer. Very few of my friends knew I was writing a novel, and I had no idea I should be creating a platform; blogging; creating a presence on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+; joining a writing community; and the list goes on.

Networking has added so much to my writing experience. I've found fellow writers who encourage me and share their knowledge, most notably through Kait Nolan's A Round of Words in 80 Days and Rachael Harrie's Writers' Platform-Building Campaigns. And now I'm loving the Blogging from A to Z Challenge.

But what got me started... last May I happened upon Michelle Rafter's WordCount Blogathon, a challenge to post every day in the month of May. Not only did I met an amazing group of writers/bloggers, but I learned so much about posts and blogging. Last year I signed up for Twitter, and learned so much about it, for this challenge. This year there is a Pinterest component; I have avoided Pinterest, but I'll be jumping in now.

If you are looking to expand your blog and gain knowledge, please join us in May for the Blogathon. Visit this post for more information and to sign up. I know I can't wait.

Networking has helped me realize I'm not alone. I have so many resources now, and they continue to grow. No matter if you are nervous, normal, new, nerdy (me!), nude (they can't see you!), naive (me last year)... everyone can benefit from building their network.

Have you had success with networking online? If so, please share groups or challenges you've found the most rewarding.

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Thanks for joining me for N. I hope I'll see you back here for O through Z.

Free as a Bird: ROW80 Check In

Okay, a bit of creativity run amuck with that title, but today I wanted to share a link to 21 free eBooks AND talk about Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.

First the link to 21 free eBooks, free TODAY ONLY (Sunday, 4/15) and sponsored by the Melissa Foster spearheaded World Literary Cafe. Please check them out here. (You have to be a member to view the free eBooks, but it's fast and easy to register.)

Now on to inspiration... so many of you recommended Bird by Bird to me. Thank you!

While Stephen King inspired me to read King (since I never had before On Writing), Anne Lamott inspired me to read anything and everything. A complete review of Bird by Bird can be found here, but here's an excerpt:

Every page looked like thisMy oldest daughter owes Anne Lamott big time! Thanks to her Operating Instructions: A Journal of my Son’s First Year , I survived my first year as a mother. Another new mom recommended the book to me. I clearly had been living under a rock, because I never heard of Lamott prior to this.

Fast forward ten years (and yes, I’m still surviving motherhood. I even added two more daughters to the mix). Many fellow writers were touting Lamott’s craft book, Bird by Bird. I knew I had to read it. If she could make me laugh and give me strength during the most sleep-exhausted and difficult (although insanely rewarding) early parenting years, I had no doubt she could inspire my writing.
Again, she did not disappoint.
Similar to Stephen King’s On Writing , I felt like I was sitting in the room with the author while she told me stories and offered advice. Her candor lulled me in like a comforting lullaby.

Not one to sugarcoat things, something I find quite endearing, Lamott emphasizes the idea that publication is not the end-all be-all for writers. It, like most things we romanticize, is not all it’s cracked up to be. Writing because you love it should be enough.
My favorite part: shitty first drafts. I knew I had them, but to know an author I respect has them, too... priceless. Since I bang out words with cramped hands, only to go back and find it needs quite a bit of work, it felt good to know I wasn't the only one. I feel the same about running. I look at all the other runners, and they seem to be gliding on air while I'm pounding the pavement. Literally, I feel like the pavement is moving underneath me.

I have to remind myself, as Lamott reminded me, that those runners have been running for years and in the beginning they were shitty, too. Same with writing. Very few of us, if any, write an inspired masterpiece in one sitting.

Does it help you to know other authors bang out shitty first drafts, too?

On to my A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) Update:

Writing: I spent a minimum of two hours a day writing, but mostly on A to Z and review posts. Still, the juices were flowing. I need to polish a chapter on the Depression Cookies follow up today and write the next one.

Editing: I'm two-thirds of the way done with a huge project. I would have finished last night, but my vision started blurring. I figured it's never good to edit at 1am when you keep shaking your head to clear the fog. Know what I mean?

Blogging: Still loving A to Z. Since Wednesday, I talked about Kick it of Kiss it and Mauling Malapropism, plus Mom guest posted about Letting Loose. Plus, I posted my Bird by Bird review on Mom in Love with Fiction.

Social Media: I'm doing much better and catching up. Is it me, or are there fewer people this Round of ROW80?

Reading: Just finished another book last night, so I need to write two reviews.

Exercise: Rocking it. Doing better about sugar, too. Actually, I'm doing a sugar sweep tomorrow and getting rid of all temptations. Not just for me, but for my 10-year-old who just got diagnosed with high cholesterol. It's familial, but I'm not taking any chances or putting her on meds. Wish me luck!

Wishing you all a great writing week! Please check out the other ROW80 bloggers here.

Mauling Malapropism = M: Blogging from A to Z

Malapropism: Absurd or humorous misuse of a word, especially by confusion with one of similar sound.

I'll admit, I was familiar with this concept but not with this term until I was searching for interesting quotes one day. Yogi Berra, an accomplished baseball player and manager, is known for his humongous misuse of words. (okay, humorous)

Yogi Berra (from Wikipedia)According to Wikipedia: Berra, who quit school after the eighth grade, has a tendency toward malapropism and fracturing the English language.

An example: "He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious." (ambidextrous)

Before you write off malapropism as people simply destroying the English language, consider its contribution to humor.

"Well I try to look at the bright side. I guess you could say I'm an internal optometrist." (Steve Carell as Barry in Dinner for Schmucks, 2010)

Growing up, my sister used to always run around the house looking for her homework or school needs, often asking, "Have you seen my constipation notebook?" (composition) What started as misuse continued as a way to make her sisters and parents laugh.

The more I looked into malapropism, the more intrigued I became. I think I'll be visiting this topic again in the future. Since A to Z is about keeping it short, I thought I'd share a few more examples.

"It is beyond my apprehension." Danny Ozark, baseball team manager

"Listen to the blabbing brook." Norm Crosby

An a few quotes from the All in the Family Archie Bunker character, quite the master of malapropism.

"A woman doctor is only good for women's problems...like your groinocology."

"Patience is a virgin."

"I ain't a man of carnival instinctuals like you."

What's your favorite example of malapropism?

Oh, and in case you were wondering about the title of this post, I was playing around with the concept and mulling malapropism.

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I hope you enjoyed M! Please join us for N through Z, and check out other A to Z participants here.

Letting Loose = L: Blogging from A to Z

Today, I welcome Mom, Angela Silverthorne, back to the blog. Mom and I co-wrote Depression Cookies and work together as much as we can.

Enjoy!
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LettingLoose

When I first began writing, I dreamed of writing forchildren. I wrote short stories and poems about little ones who were alwaysgetting into trouble. It helped that my protagonist lived right under my roof,my little brother. He was forever up to no good, to the point I thought my poormother would go bald from running her hands through her hair. But writing about little brothers gets tiring. Iwanted to let loose and do something no one else had ever done. My initiationinto letting loose began on my 16th birthday. At that point in mylife, my favorite author was Victoria Holt. Since there were no knights inshining armor or damsels in distress in my neighborhood, I decided to writeabout the characters around me.  Mom and Dad back in the dayA character study is similar to stalking. Atsixteen, stalking is not easy. The whole time I tried to be covert, I wasstumbling over my own two feet or giving myself away by blushing. Instead ofbeing reckless and daring, I was careless and timid. But I was determined.


At the top of our street there was a General Store.It was the perfect place to stalk. Customers strolled inside and took theirtime. Men chatted in groups of two and three. Women lingered longest at the meat andcheese counter. I found the perfect corner to lean into and just watch. WhenMs. Patty, the owner, glared at me, I’d pick up a package and pretend to bereading the contents. After 30 minutes, I realized the task at hand was a lotmore difficult than I had imagined. It was hard to hear what my subjects weresaying and most of the time they kept turning their backs to me.

Sighing, I decided to leave and think up anotherstrategy to get writing material. As I turned to leave, a man twice my age withhalf my teeth grabbed me, pulled me through the throng of customers and pushedme past the screen door. He didn’t let loose of me until we were several feetfrom the building. I was terrified. He was huge!  “You best go home now, you hear?” he yelled at me,still clutching my arm. “I ain’t lettin’ you go until you promise to quittrying to steal my aunt’s merchandise.”

I stopped flat still, looking up at him in totaldisbelief. “Steal? I’m not trying to steal anything.” Incredulous thoughtswhirled around my brain until I realized how guilty I must have looked. “Oh,you’ve got this all wrong. I’m a writer. I’m trying to do a character study.”

“Character study?” he repeated, spitting out a wadof tobacco, “You’d best be trying to study school and not be a dumb ass likeme. Now git!”
I ran all the way home. It took me two days to writethe whole event down . . . embellishing and letting loose on the best characterstudy ever. Now when I even hint at writers' block, I remember being sixteenand pushing the limits. That’s the key to being a good writer. Letting loose.*****How do you let loose?

Thanks for hanging out with us for L day. Please come back to see our takes on M through Z, and visit other A to Z bloggers here.

It's Wednesday, Right? My ROW80 Update

If you are stopping over from the A to Z Challenge, please click here to see my Kick it or Kiss it = K post. You don't want to miss it.

I want you all to sit down, close your eyes, take a deep breath. Do you feel centered, lighter? Now, say it with me, "It is Wednesday. I did not miss the ROW80 check in."


Now, are we all on the same page?

My kids were off school Monday. So Tuesday was Monday, Wednesday was Tuesday, and today is... you guessed it, Wednesday!

The simplest things can throw me off, so I appreciate my A Round of Words in 80 Days (ROW80) friends going along with me on this.

Speaking of the simplest things, I have a character that does NOT like her name. I've tried several out, and she's not having it. I'm finding it very distracting. I've never had this happen before. For several pages, she was one name. She didn't like it, so I changed it (it helped that she put a new name in my head which I suddenly started using--I had to go back and change it throughout). Then the stinker did it to me again. I'm getting sick of Find and Replace.

I don't want to continue to stop and rename her, but I'm afraid if I don't, I'll have an editing nightmare on my hands later. I once read a book where the character was Molly for half the book and Mollie for the other half. So distracting!

Any suggestions for this character? Should I just put XXXX and see what she wants at the end?!?

My ROW80 Update

My original Round 2 goals can be found here.

Writing: Thanks to my new girlfriend and her inability to embrace a name, I've been at a standstill with a pitiful 158 words since Sunday. 158. Really? I can write more than that in a note to one of my kids!

Editing: I have a 62,000 word editing project due Monday. I'm halfway and making great progress. This is a third edit, so it's moving along. I just don't want to miss anything, as my client is ready to go to print. My other editing project is at the printer, and I can't wait to see the galley copy!

Blogging: I'm loving the Blogging from A to Z Challenge. Please check out some great participants here. I'm particularly proud of my Isn't It Ironic? and Kick It or Kiss It posts this week.

Social Media: Slowly catching up, but I was awful the last couple of days. I hope my A to Z and ROW80 friends will forgive me. I'm going to make it up to you!

Reading: I'm reading faster than I can review. I am one of those people who needs to review a book within one to two days of reading it, or I start to lose details. I still need to review Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott) and Ape House (Sara Gruen). Hope to get to those today, before I forget what I'd like to say.

Exercise: Ran 5 miles today (with hills!) and did strength training on Tuesday. Or at least I think it was Tuesday. Eating is getting better, too. If only I could figure out how to combine an hour-long run and writing or reading. I haven't embraced audio books, maybe I should. Thoughts?

I'm off to encourage others...

Kick it or Kiss it = K: Blogging from A to Z

"It's all about ass, isn't it? You either kick it... or you lick it."
This is one of my husband's favorite movie quotes. It's from Fat Man and Little Boy, starring Paul Newman.

I haven't seen this particular movie, but I love Paul Newman and will watch anything with him in it. He always struck me as a great guy, who managed a lot of charity work and a long-lived marriage even as Hollywood royalty.

From WikipediaI think about this quote often. It's memorable, although a bit off color, and so true. In life, we can either face problems head on and kick it or decide to fight another day and kiss it, play nice.

In the south, we have a saying... Kill 'em with Kindness. I prefer to avoid confrontation and conflict unless the situation warrants. As a mom, I kick it much more than I ever did as a single woman. My children bring out the Mama Bear in me.

Thanks to my Southern upbringing, even when I kick it I prefer you feel like I'm still kissing it. It's hard to fight back when someone is telling you exactly what they think of you with a honey or two thrown in for good measure.

In writing, I relate best to a character who kisses it until he/she can't take it anymore and then they hand out a well-deserved and climactic butt-whooping. As long as the story supports the character's actions, I'm all for strength and owning it. Too much strength too soon or too much taking it for too long, and I'm a frustrated reader. Although I'll admit, if I have to choose between too strong or too weak, I'll go too strong hands down.

We will all face a time in our lives when there's no option but to kick butt and take names. Save it for when you need it. Otherwise, I truly believe you catch more flies with honey.

When is the last time you had to kick it?

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Again, thanks for joining my journey from A to Z. Please visit again for my thoughts on L through Z. Please check out other A to Z participants here.

Also, a special birthday wish to my baby sister and our web and blog master, Dana Silverthorne Newbrough.
You are an amazing sister, friend, and now mom to two beautiful girls. I love you!

Jumbled Up Js = J: Blogging from A to Z

As I was trying to focus on a J post, J words begin jumping into my brain. None of them jumpstarted an entire post, so I broke down my J thoughts into categories.

My Favorite J Name
Jacqueline "Jackie"
It's my oldest daughter's name. My husband is one of four boys, so we assumed we'd have a boy. We loved Jack Bach. It sounded so official and important. When we found out we were having a girl, Jackie made sense.

My Favorite J Activity
Jigsaw puzzles
It's my middle daughter's favorite activity, and one of the few things she'll sit down to do.

My Favorite J Saying
"Naked as Jaybird"
Growing up, my dad always said this. When I was young, I asked him why anyone would walk across the street naked. I was confusing this with jaywalking.

My Favorite J Destination
Jamaica
My husband and I honeymooned there in 1995.

My Favorite J Pastime
Journaling
I think everyone should do it! Even if you are not a writer, it is free therapy and a way to let it all go.

My Favorite J Author
Judy Blume
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret was an important part of my teenage years. I could "ask" questions of Judy Blume that I couldn't ask my parents.

My Favorite J Disney Character
Jasmine (Aladdin)
Our girls named our dog after Jasmine. It quickly became Jazzy (my favorite J dog of course).

A Few Other J Faves
Jello over Jam
Jesus' teachings
Joy, Jubilation (especially Jumping for Joy)
Jewelry
Junie B. Jones (my kids made me put it!)

J Things I Could Do Without
Jello
Jelly Beans
Jagermeister (there's a long college story to support this)
Jealousy
Jiggly (when it can't be contained by shapewear)
Juice
Judgement

A J Thing I've Never Done
Jury Duty
I move so much that they've never found me. Of course, now they will.

What's your favorite and least favorite J?

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I'm glad you joined the continuing saga of my Blogging from A to Z Challenge. I hope you'll be back for K through Z.

For other great A to Z posts, please visit here.