Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 110

A Day to Remember Helen Keller

On this day in 1880, Helen Keller was born. At the age of 19 months, due to an unknown illness, Helen Keller lost her sight and hearing. She never let it stop her. She was the first deaf and blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree, she published 12 books and numerous articles, and she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. She's a shining example of not letting life take you down.

[image error] In our novel, Depression Cookies , we used a quote from Helen Keller.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
This quote inspires Krista to look back at her teenage years, "I remembered feeling my life had been full of closed doors and missed opportunities, doors swung shut without even the slightest push."

It's easier to stare at a closed door than to turn around and see the possibilities. Helen Keller could not see or hear the beauty in the world around her, but she knew it was there. She focused on it. Her quote inspires me to walk a new path when it's presented.

In writing, there are many closed doors. Many rejections. The best thing we can do is learn from those. The open doors make us proud, but sometimes we need to learn a lesson from a door slamming shut to truly appreciate an open door standing before us. Other times, we need the strength to close a door, stare at the doors open to us, and choose.

Take a moment today and evaluate your choices. Don't be afraid to turn the handle on a new door.

The Influence of Dolly Parton's Writing

Dolly Parton has long been a part of my life. I grew up listening to her, and at one point, my family and I vacationed regularly in Pigeon Forge, TN. Dolly Parton is originally from nearby Sevierville, and the area never misses an opportunity to celebrate their hometown girl. I have fond memories of our visits to Silver Dollar City, an amusement park in the area now known as DollyWood.
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I was excited this week to hear she has a new album, Better Day , coming out June 28th. I'm looking forward to hearing the new music and sharing it with my daughters. I'll also introduce them to some old favorites.

My mother and I have a special relationship, and Dolly Parton's Eagle When She Flies captures my mom beautifully. A sampling:

A kaleidoscope of colors
You can toss her around and round
You can keep her in you vision
But you'll never keep her down
She's a lover, she's a mother
She's a friend and she's a wife
And she's a sparrow when she's broken
But she's an eagle when she flies

Gentle as the sweet magnolia
Strong as steel, her faith and pride
She's an everlasting shoulder
She's the leaning post of life
She hurts deep and when she weeps
She's just as fragile as a child
And she's a sparrow when she's broken
But she's an eagle when she flies

Whenever I hear this song, tears form. It will always remind me of Mom. Dolly Parton is a poet, and I appreciate her writing. Songs can touch us, not just because of the voice singing, but the writer behind the voice. My mother is rarely a sparrow, but when she is, she is still beautiful. But to quote Dolly, "she's an eagle when she flies."

Please visit Dolly Parton's Imagination Library site to find out how she encourages young readers. This program makes reading accessible to preschool children in various communities.

What song reminds you of your mother or other strong woman figure?

Friday Feature: My Favorite Thing I Read this Week and Why

This week I received a great email from Michele Scism's Decisive Minds blog. I was introduced to this informative blog when I signed up for the Ultimate Blog Challenge which starts July 1. Michele is the co-host for the blog challenge.

[image error] In her email, she listed quotes for keeping you motivated. It came just at the right time for the first week of summer. Every time I sat down to work, my kids whined and moaned. So, I went looking for some quotes outside the ones she provided. Ones that would motivate me.

Here they are:

"Can I be blunt on the subject? If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time - or the tools - to write. Simple as that." Stephen King
"I learned that you should feel when writing, not like Lord Byron on a mountain top, but like a child stringing beads in kindergarten - happily, absorbed, and quietly putting one bead on after another." Brenda Ueland
"Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most vaulable." Francis Bacon
Each quote inspired me to keep on keeping on. Stephen King reminded me that my love of reading is part of writing. At night when I'm drawn to the book on the table, I shouldn't sit staring at the computer instead. Writing makes me happy, and my children make me happy. I can't just sit and stare at a screen hoping for inspirationg. Playing at the park, getting in the pool, and sitting down to play a board game can be inspiring. I just need my trusty notebook nearby when inspiration hits. Bonus points: I'll enjoy my kids in the meantime. This covered both the quotes from Brenda Ueland and Francis Bacon.
I have to remember inspiration cannot be forced nor can it be contained. Enjoy life, and take a moment when enjoyment brings writing prompts. If I've been playing and enjoying my kids when the need to write hits, they'll probably be more understanding than watching their Mom sit at a computer screen hoping for insight.
What motivates you?

The Dissection of a Must-Read and a Just-Missed-It

As the second part to yesterday's post about the Five Elements of a Good Read, I want to discuss two Young Adult Novels: Max and Menna by Shauna Kelley and Guardian Spirit by Sarah Martin Byrd. I read and reviewed both books for Rebecca's Reads. (Guardian Spirit will be up within the week).

Both stories center around the world of abuse and how it affects families, such great material for creating a gripping, memorable tale. Plus, both stories have a Native American element as well as a boy and a girl who suffer in abusive homes. But only one story stays with me and has been added to my recommend-to-friends list: Max and Menna.
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I know quickly the books that will stay with me. I don't always take the time to dissect why. Sometimes it's just a feeling. But I was intrigued reading these two books so close to each other, especially with such similar themes. Why did I love one and not the other? Don't get me wrong, Guardian Spirit was not a failure. I gave it 4 stars with the tagline, "Just Missed Being Great". I read a lot of books, and I enjoy a lot of books. But it's the rare gem that makes my recommendation list.

I realized Shauna Kelley took more risks, risks that paid off. Max and Menna were not perfect characters, but they were real. I identified with them. And when I finished the book, I stared in disbelief at the last page. It couldn't be over. I couldn't let them go. That's powerful. With Guardian Spirit, I wanted everything to work out and I needed to know the ending, but I won't remember this book a year from now. The characters weren't developed or, quite frankly, interesting enough to stay with me. Again, not a failure. Just not great.

Even more than that, the conflict seemed more real, touchable even, with Kelley's novel. In Guardian Spirit, there was believable conflict, but I didn't flinch or react when she described it.

You see the journey, the lesson learned, the cruelty of fate along with experiencing a range of emotions in Max and Menna. I had a hard time putting it down, because the desire to know was too great. I wanted to yell at the characters, shake them. My emotions were raw, and I was invested. Throughout Guardian Spirit, I kept seeing opportunities for the author to make me care more. In a bad book, I wouldn't have cared at all.

Sometimes, a book that's close to great is more disappointing than a terrible book. A bad book is just that. Bad. It would take too much effort to even get it to mediocre. But a good book is just so darned close, it's sad when it misses the mark.

I commend both authors for their tales. I'm just inspired by Shauna Kelley's effort to hit the great bulls-eye.

Have you ever been frustrated by a book that was almost great?

Five Elements of a Good Read

It's summertime. I love seeing all the summer reading lists and the focus on reading. Recently, I read two Young Adult novels with similar themes and characters. One was successful and has been added to my recommend-to-friends list, one was not. It made me curious. What makes a good story?

I wanted to look past the obvious (good editing, professional work) and vague (good writer). A good writer manipulates words into poetry. You are compelled to continue reading. Each word draws you further in. Sometimes good writing cannot overcome poor story whereas a great story can often overcome less than spectacular writing.

 [image error] Picture from PublicDomainImages.net Five Elements of a Good Read

1. Memorable Characters: I want the characters to stay with me long after the last page. They need to be flawed. Nobody can relate to perfection. Still, they must have a redeeming quality. It can't be all flaws. The author has to flesh out the characters and make the reader care.

2. Contracting Conflict: Think of it like labor. The conflict should rise, come back a bit, and rise again. You need a break from the tension, but not a complete collapse of conflict. It should ebb and flow and engage the reader.

3. Engaging Emotions: You often hear someone say, "It made me laugh and cry." A reader needs to be emotionally invested in a story. But it can't be all sadness or all terror. Give the reader bits and pieces of different emotions, like life.

4. Compelling Journey: The character, which thanks to #1-#3, we so care about should learn something. There should be a reason for the story. A journey with a destination. You wouldn't tell a joke without the punchline.

5. Lasting Impression: The story and the characters should stay with you. When you are done, there should be a desire to know more. I'm not suggesting all books need sequels, but a reader should want one.

Tomorrow, I am going to compare the two YA novels I mentioned earlier to attempt to answer why one will stay with me and one won't.

What do you think is the most important element of a good story/read?

Tub-Full Tuesdays: The Anchor of Friendship

Mom continues our series on what fills our tub and makes us thankful.

*****

My life is filled with an abundance of treasures: my sweetheart, children, grandchildren, extended family, memories, gifts (spiritual and physical), friends, associates, church, my canine friends, and lessons learned. Recently, a new treasure came into my life that pushed the whole notion of relationship to a new dimension. I never knew you could immediately fall in love with someone. And no, I'm not talking about a new love interest, but falling in love with the spirit within someone, feeling you've known that person for an eternity−not understanding why, but completely thrilled to have been blessed with this newfound friend. [image error] My friend, VarondaMost of us look to our family and friends to love us. So this new experience caused me to ask myself, "How far-reaching is love?" Love is immeasurable, especially with God in control. Still, I don't usually open myself up to new acquaintances. I'm the one at the back of the room, observing, sizing people up, and deciding who I want to approach. Then all of that changed. I'm in a meeting room area and turn to see this woman who I had just met. Immediately I realize I want to know her and be close to her. As stupid as this may sound, I knew I would love her. No, I'm not off my rocker!So over the last few months we have become even closer; sharing our lives, which are amazingly similar despite a 25-year gap, and giving one another different perspectives on how to embrace the unpredictable. I thought I had a firm anchor set on how to define who I loved. But I realized I don't need an anchor to set relationships at all. Maybe I need an open heart and fresh eyes to see past all the preconceived notions I have about people and stand expectant that everyone I meet might be a new best friend to add to my bountiful treasures. Have you ever met someone you instantly knew would change your life?

Tips for Taped Television Interviews

Mom and I are very excited, but terrified, about our first television interview airing on O2 Media's morning talk show "The Balancing Act" on Lifetime Television tomorrow, June 21st, at 7am (ET/PT). Note: 6am Central/Mountain. This is our teaser (will become the show once it airs. And, yes, this is the first time I've ever used an embed code on my blog):


When they first called and asked to interview us, I was terrified. My breathing slowed once I found out it was not live television. Okay, we could do this. One month before the interview we sent in five copies of our book (staff and hosts were all required to read it). Two weeks before, we sent in a synopsis, the main points we wanted to cover, and some images. One week before, we received five questions. Easy, right?

Mom and I had insane weeks leading up to our trip to Florida to tape. We decided to arrive a day early and do a marathon training session. All day Saturday we wrote and rewrote our answers. We had a four minute slot for our interview. There were five questions. We figured the host wouldn't get to all of them, but we wanted to be prepared just in case. We also knew we could do more than one take. Breathe, we constantly told ourselves.
We showed up to the studio prepared. We rehearsed our answers the entire car ride over. Unshakable. Then we met the host. Lovely. She was encouraging, friendly, and above all, made us feel comfortable. "We are just three ladies sitting down to chat," she told us. We had makeup done, microphones put on, and were placed on set. At this point, there was no amount of prescription antiperspirant strong enough for me.

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We did the first take in question order until time was called. We survived. No flubs. The crew asked us how many television interviews we had done. Sure, sure, I thought to myself, they are just trying to make us feel better. The host asked us which questions we really wanted to fit in now that we had a sense of the time. We rearranged. Second take and done. Success! I felt even better when we saw the next person tape. After three takes, she left the set momentarily to compose herself.

In May, we posted a humorous what not to do during a television appearance list. Now, we want to give some practical advice.

Tips for a Taped Television Appearance:

1. Rehearse your answers. If they don't give you a list of questions, ask or offer some of your own. The host appreciated our preparation, and it never hurts to have the host in your corner. Several staff and crew thanked us for our professionalism. Another benefit, rehearsing made us more confident and less nervous.

2. Engage your host. Take our host's advice, you are sitting down to chat. If you aren't talking, look interested in what the host (or the co-interviewee) is saying. Nod and smile. The effort it took to keep a pageant-smile on my face made me focus less on the butterflies in my stomach.

3. It's okay to breathe. I kept worrying I'd forget our scripted answers. Mom reminded me it was okay to take a breath and gather your thoughts. Better to breathe than rush through and crash.

4. Follow directions. There are reasons they ask you to nod and smile while looking to your left. Just do it, no matter how silly it seems. It's their job to make you look good, so they look good. Another important one: they will often give you suggested clothing colors and a list of don'ts. Pay attention. I watched the show for weeks before we taped, and I saw some poor choices.

5. Trust the Team. See #4. Trust the producer, host, and crew. And don't forget the makeup person.  He or she knows television makeup. No matter how much you like to do your own makeup, those lights are different. If you have sensitive skin, bring your products and then trust him/her.

6. Send a thank you note. As soon as I got home, I sent a follow-up email to the producers, the host, and anyone else who helped along the way. I then followed up with written thank you notes. They've already been in contact with us about future dealings, and asked me to forward a thank you note on letterhead to put up in their main lobby.

7. Sell yourself. People will buy your product or service if they buy you as a person. It's four minutes. Be your best self.

Having said all this, we haven't seen our appearance. We will see it tomorrow along with everyone else. It's easy to ask yourself if you should have done three takes, worn something different, smiled bigger. But, in the end, I trusted my team.

We'd love some feedback. If you can't watch in the morning, please set your DVRs or come back and view the link. Then leave some comments below. We can take it!

A Day to Celebrate Dads

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.

John Gregory Brown
[image error] The thread began with the birth of your first daughter, me! Two more followed. Your drive to be a good man increased. You always told us we could be anything we wanted to be. With each encouraging word, a stitch was sewn.

You worked sixty hour weeks and provided for our family. You helped with homework and re-proved Geometry theorems long proven. When I asked what a word meant, you told me to go look in the dictionary. But your advice didn't stop there. You told me to memorize the word above it and below it as well.

My favorite Dad sayings:
* SOL = S**t out of luck
* Katie bar the door = Hold me back
* You might want horns, but you're going to die butt-headed = I told you No, child.
* You've gone from preaching to meddling now = advice is one thing, nagging is another
* If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he jumped = Deal with reality

The first time I heard someone else say SOL, I wanted to ask them if they knew my dad. In my eyes, he invented everything. My pedestal was built high, and he sat upon it. The teenage years came. He pushed us while holding on and creating safety. We disagreed at times, but I knew he loved me. More stitches sewn.

When I met my future husband at eighteen, he was cautious but supportive. Five years later, we married. Dad walked me down the aisle, but never gave me away entirely. The year we got married was my parent's 25th year of marriage. I asked my dad what made a good marriage. He told me compromise, with a caveat. "Compromise does not usually mean 50-50," he said. "Sometimes he'll get 100% of what he wants, sometimes you will. But, in the end, it should all come out right." These words often comfort me. What is the 50-50 to having children? Whether to move or not? Changing careers?

[image error] Dad with Jackie in 2000I made my dad a grandfather the year he turned 50! Still a successful and very busy professional, he always made time for visits. The stress washed away when he held my daughter; he softened like I'd never seen. The cloth surrounded me; so many stitches.
My parents recently celebrated 40 years of marriage, and their support for their children has never lessened. Though we've grown up and had kids of our own, they still ask us to call if we are traveling to let them know we are safe. I am very blessed.
Today, I say Happy Father's Day to my dad. I wouldn't be half the person I am today without your love and support. And, I must say, all those extra words I looked up have come in handy!
Special aside: my dad was the humor. He found ways to lighten up heavy moments and trying times. I credited my gift of humor to him in our Lifetime Television interview, scheduled to air Tuesday, June 21st on their morning talk show, The Balancing Act, at 7am (ET/PT). A link to the teaser: http://www.thebalancingact.com/video/?v=CHS56QHE203174.

And let's not forget my wonderful husband on Father's Day:

 [image error] Ed with Jackie and Reagan 2002 
I fell in love with him for many reasons: his looks (honesty is my curse!!), his beautiful smile, his calming effect, his kindness, and his loyalty. We met the third day of my freshman year of college, and we never looked back. I wasn't looking for a husband, much less the father of my children. But I know a good thing when I see it. 
[image error] With Maddie, our baby, 2005 I first fell for the man, but I fall harder every day because of the father and husband he is. His family comes first. Laid back in most things, I've seen him agonize over decisions involving our family and his precious girls.

I'd like to take credit for picking a great father, but luck was on my side. Girls, especially, learn so much from their fathers. It takes a special man to give girls those gold threads.
My husband has always been hands-on; he changed many a diaper and makes school lunches almost every morning. He rarely misses an event. My girls will someday have their dad-cloth, and I know all too well what comfort it brings.


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Thanks to all the dads out there, and Happy Father's Day!

What's your fondest memory with your dad?

Friday Feature: My Favorite Thing I Read this Week and Why

Continuing our Friday series, Mom stops by to answer her favorite thing she read this week and why by higlighting Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo.****Since I was a little girl, I have been enamored by heaven . . . and hell. I mean you better know something about each. If I'm planning on a trip, I'm going to do a little research on where I'm going and weigh the advantages and disadvantages. Right? Well, heaven or hell gives me a lot to consider. Ayn Rand once said, "When I die, I hope to go to Heaven, whatever the Hell that is." But I am more in tune with Carl Sandburg who stated, "Here is the difference between Dante, Milton, and me. They wrote about hell and never saw the place. I wrote about Chicago after looking the town over for years and years." Yep, that's what I'm doing . . . checking out my options. Naturally I've looked at all the biblical accounts I can find. By Revelation, you are standing behind the man on the white horse, I promise you. The other venture is way too much tanning for me!Putting all nonsense aside, there was one event in my life that truly made me want to seek out knowledge about heaven. In September 2007, my grandmother had an out-of-body experience, or that's what the family calls it now, where she thought she saw the hallway to Heaven's throne room. When I visited her at the nursing home one day, my grandmother had the Scarlett O'Hara look of sheer joy on her face. Remember the scene where Rhett takes Scarlett in his arms and carries her up the staircase? Yes, it's the morning after look.  She vividly described going to a magnificent place full of colors, some we've never seen, and living pictures and chandeliers free-floating up and down the hallway. She became more and more animated as she told each detail of her trip. As her story ended, she grew quiet and distant, confessing she did not want to leave. She claimed she was sent back with a promise that she'd return. And return she did, one week later. [image error] So began my trip planning. I've read countless books on accounts of heaven. My latest was Todd Burpo's book Heaven is for Real. It's about a three year old boy, Colton, who remembers going to heaven after a brief brush with death. As he begins to share his journey with his parents, who are more than bewildered, events line up with the truth–something happened to Colton during an emergency appendectomy.  Looking at heaven through the eyes of a young boy's account is fascinating. I don't want to give the storyline away, but it made me feel good about my decision to take the narrow road. The strangest part was his confirmation on how Jesus looks after seeing Akiane Kramarik's painting of Christ. Akiane was under 10 years old when she painted "Prince of Peace".  Maybe there's some truth in having child-like faith. "Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Happy Friday! What is the best thing you've read this week?

Moment of Reflection: My Oldest Graduates Fifth Grade

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. My first child. From the moment the doctor put you in my arms, I loved you. I knew nothing about being a parent, but I knew I would die trying.

Jackie, 3 months
Your sisters soon came to join our little famly. Now we were all on this journey together. We knew we'd make mistakes, but love and community would get us through. Then, I had to send you off to school. You were leaving the nest I created to shield you. I cried the first day the bus came to pick you up. Then you graduated Kindergarten. More tears.
Jackie and her middle sister, Reagan (who seems a bit pouty)
Through all our moves and changes, you continued to grow into a beautiful, young lady. With each passing year, I see you blossom. I don't want to rush a second, but I can't wait to see the adult you become. Yesterday, I cried again when you graduated fifth grade. Wow, I have a middle-schooler. Your poor Mom is a big mess of contradictions right now. I want so much for you, but I also want to cocoon you in the safety of my arms. I am both excited and terrified for you to head to middle school.


Mom and Jackie at her fifth grade promotion ceremony
Know I will be here for you through the good, the bad, and the ugly. For every part of me I give to you, you make a part of me better. I am the woman I am today thanks to loving my children. I am blessed.

Today, take a moment to consider your blessings. Write about them. Even if you are a technical writer or a journalist who only covers sports, always flex your writing muscle by writing outside your comfort zone. You never know what will come of it.

Do you journal or write down your memories?