Tia Silverthorne Bach's Blog, page 108

A Day to Breathe and Soak in Life

[image error] My sweet girlsLife comes at you hard and fast. It doesn't ask if you can handle it or if there might be a better time. With each child we added to our lovely family, life seemed to explode all around us. Wonderous and exhausting all at the same time. In the last eight months, we moved from Colorado to Maryland, my first novel was published, we transitioned three kids to a new school, my husband joined a new company... we essentially started over.
Life was a rollercoaster ride, and every time it pulled into the station nobody bothered to ask us if we wanted off. We canceled a long-anticipated trip to Hawaii (hoping it gets rescheduled soon) to focus on our family and the changes. Months later, we were feeling the effects of not taking time off. So we decided a few days ago to come to the beach. Sure, it's just the beach in Maryland, but it's a break. Today through Tuesday.

[image error] Mom and Jackie today in Ocean City, MD
It was last minute. I'm very thankful right now for laptops and free wireless internet. My next few posts will be from the beach. I've been feeling a bit tight in my writing, and I'm hoping some fun and sun will loosen me up. You have to live life to write about it.

As Kenny Rogers would say, "you have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run."

How do you find time to soak it all in?

Friday Feature: My Favorite Thing I Read this Week and Why

My favorite thing I read this week: a rejection letter.

Now, let's get to the why.

I want our novel to be someone's favorite read. I'm not asking for Depression Cookies to make us millionaires, be made into a movie, be on Oprah (especially since her talk show is ending), or become a literary giant taught in public schools for years to come. Don't get me wrong, those things wouldn't be horrible, but our true intention was for people to read it, enjoy it, and let us know.

[image error] I love reading and the wonderful feeling of a good book, being transported and caring about the people in a new time, place, or situation. We want passionate reader reactions more than industry acceptance. We knew the odds. Not only is it our first novel, it doesn't fall in line with the current writing trends. We won't be competition for the paranormal writers, although teenage girls seem paranormal at times. Still, women make up between 60-70% of book buyers according to various data crunchers. Our story is written by women, about women, and for women.

Industry acceptance would be wonderful. If nothing else, it would get our novel into more hands. We won't lie, it felt good to be named a Finalist in Chick Lit of the 2011 Next Generation Indie Book Awards. A little industry approval, but it also meant people read and enjoyed the book.

This week we received a rejection letter from an agent. We've received many. I've become numb to them. I understand agents can only take on so many books and they need to pick something they love and can sell. I don't envy them their jobs.

The letter stated, "we have read and discussed your work at length, and although it is, indeed, a moving and original mother/daughter/family discussion, we don't feel we would be the appropriate agent for it." As far as rejections go, I'll take moving and original any day of the week.

We are not discouraged. We believe in our little story and we are pushing forward.

Has a rejection ever encouraged you or motivated you to keep going?

Celebrating 100 posts

Wow, time flies when you are having fun. Yesterday's post marked a special achievement for our blog: 100 posts! We started this blog in January, but began regularly blogging in May thanks to Michelle Rafter's Blogathon.

[image error] Mom and I want to thank our readers, especially those who take a moment to comment. We write because we love it, but it never hurts to get validation and feedback.

We are writers, readers, mothers and women. This blog details our writing journey as independently published authors. We have learned so much and want to give back to our writing community. Just as importantly, we share our mother-daughter journey.

Our novel, Depression Cookies , debuted in October 2011. For a sample, please visit our Taste of Depression Cookies blog post.

Our 10 Most Popular Posts:
(we used Google Analytics and total number of comments to determine popularity)

* What Not to Do During a Television Interview - humorous take on our Lifetime TV experience
* Five Elements of a Good Read
* Friday Feature: Favorite Thing We Read this Week and Why - featuring a great Ernest Hemingway quote
* Lesson Learned from a Child
* Tips for Taped Interviews
* Delicate Balancing Act - discussing the Lifetime experience and how to find balance
* What Most Southern Women Love about the "F" word
* Haiku Day - sharing Mom's haiku during a Blogathon theme day
* The Importance of Book Clubs - for readers and writers
* One More Thank You - Mom's touching tribute to her mother

We'd love some feedback. Take a moment to let us know how we're doing and suggestions for future blog posts.

ROW 80 Check In: The Big Picture

It's Wednesday, and time to check in on my A Round of Words in 80 Days goals. Quotes often give me inspiration, so I searched for quotes about goals. One name popped up in several, Denis Waitley. According to his website, Denis is "one of America's most respected authors, keynote lecturers and productivity consultants on high performance human achievement." Not bad.

His quotes:

Don't be a time manager, be a priority manager. Cut your major goals into bite-sized pieces. Each small priority or requirement on the way to ultimate goal become a mini goal in itself.

Goals provide the energy source that powers our lives. One of the best ways we can get the most from the energy we have is to focus it. That is what goals can do for us; concentrate our energy.
Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. [image error]
 
His points are valid. I like the ideas of managing priorities instead of trying to manage time, concentrating our energies, and focusing on the here and now. When I have a day where I don't meet my goal, I can't beat myself up. The more discouraged I get, the harder it is for the words to flow.
My progress this week:
Sunday, 7/10Results: did not work on our sequel, posted on Depression Cookies blogReaction: Even though my goal was to write six days a week, I hated not writing.
Monday, 7/11Results: 547 words, posted Reaction: Disappointed. It left me wondering if not writing the day before threw off my rhythm.
Tuesday, 7/12Results: 966 words, postedReaction: Thrilled. Best daily word total yet!
I am still reading two books and hope to have at least one done and reviewed by Friday, but I'm being easier on this goal than my word counts and posts. See there, I'm learning to prioritize already. My biggest thrill this week was my word total since starting ROW80: 4,356 words so far!
Hope everyone else is feeling good about their goals. If not, take a minute to redefine and prioritize. Undue stress is never a friend to goals.
Let me know how you are doing below. I'm heading over to give some encouragment and link love soon.

Not by the Hair of my Chinny Chin Chin: Our First Whimsical Wednesday

Our first Whimsical Wednesday post is by Mom and co-author of Depression Cookies , Angela Silverthorne. We plan to have one Whimsical Wednesday a month, more if the spirit takes us. ******I am disturbed.I felt something wiry on my chin. I scratched. I rubbed. I pulled my lower lip up to my nose in one of those famous Gabby Hayes poses to get a better feel. Something definitely was on my chin. Agitated, I got up from my work and went into the bathroom to examine the troubling area. #&*@, I couldn't see a dang thing. So I went and got my no-line bifocals that are supposed to fool everyone. Truly … only old people think that. Since I'm on the lower end of aged, I can spot them from afar, without the specs. No one except bifocal or trifocal wearers can rearrange their head in such odd exorcist fashion unless they're wearing them. Trust me, I'm a specs spotter.Back to my chin story . . . Oh my goodness . . . there it is . . . a hair . . . on my chinny chin chin! I turn so quickly I almost faint. Was anyone watching? Has anyone seen this disgusting thing? It's worse than the black pepper or spinach leaves embedded between your front teeth. Do people just let you go around looking like a bigger fool than you are for their personal enjoyment? Do they hope the next guy will tell you because they don't want to be embarrassed? Now I get it, it's all about you. How could you let someone go about thinking they're put together when they have something so disgusting flapping around their chin?Well, my eyes are open. I just googled and found the fix. It's a side mirror for glasses. Since I'm not interested in what's behind me, I'm going to turn the mirrors down chin-level and keep a close eye on chin grooming.  And, the next time I see your chinny chin chin hair enjoying its ride, I'm not going to say a word. I'm just going to turn my niffy little invention in the direction of your chin and watch for the response. Don't panic . . . I also found a neat chin hair comber, gel-dry, and scissor set. I won't let you leave my presence without the ultimate in chin hair control. That's what friends are for, you know.And . . . if you want to order some buttons on chin hair awareness, I've located those, too.

Tub-Full Tuesdays: Laughter is the Best Medicine

Laughter is often the best medicine, and it fills my tub. In our "The Balancing Act" interview, host Danielle Knox asked why we incorporated so much humor in our book. If you haven't seen our interview yet, you can follow the link on the lefthand side of our blog.

My answer:

Humor is a gift. My dad gave us many things growing up, but I always say one of his greatest blessings was humor. It's medicinal. Too often we focus on what burdens us, what makes us tired and frustrated, instead of embracing the joy of life. My favorite memories as a kid are laughing ... and that's true now with my husband and three daughters ... sometime's laughter's just the best medicine.

Humor is also a shield and a saving grace. Why do you think parents tickle kids when they are sad? Why are comedians often from tragic upbringings? When one of my kids comes home sad or hurt, one of the first things we will do is put on music and dance. Maybe we would all benefit from a good dance class, because we usually end up laughing. A plate of warm chocolate chips cookies goes a long way, too.I rarely tell a poignant story without throwing in some humor (often sarcasm and wit are my tools). Sadness without laughter is empty and painful. We all have sad moments in our lives, but dwelling on the pain will bring nothing. The ability to laugh at yourself and with others is a treasure. If a writer can make me laugh for one page, I can better endure and appreciate one hundred pages of sadness and misfortune.This quote says it well: "A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life."    Hugh SideyCheck out our humor by visiting these past posts:* What Not to Do During a Television Interview* Friday Feature: About MenopotsAnd check back tomorrow for our first Whimsical Wednesday: Not by the Hair of my Chinny, Chin, Chin. One Wednesday a month, or more often if so inspired, we will feature a whimsical post. For fun, here's a video of my youngest, Maddie (now 6), and her first taste of baby food. This always makes me laugh:
What always makes you laugh?

Writing Fitness: Flexing your Writing Muscles

We exercise and eat well to keep ourselves fit and healthy. Similarly, writers should flex their writing muscles and nourish their writing soul to stay in the game. It's time to focus on your writing fitness!

Writing Fitness Goals:

1. Organize your Tools

Instead of weights, exercise videos, and water, make sure you have all your writing tools handy. Create an environment that fosters writing. The more efficient your workspace the more efficient your work. If you are constantly distracted, the writing won't flow.


[image error] http://www.imageenvision.com/2. Set goals/Monitor Results

As with any fitness routine, you have to set goals. What are you trying to achieve? Are you trying to finish your next piece, get one off the ground, or free write for ideas? Don't be afraid to reassess goals as you build your routine. Keep a writing log or join a word count challenge online if your goal is writing so many words per day. Accountability helps with results.

3. Change your lifestyle

Fad diets or extreme routines rarely work. It has to become your new way of doing things. Make time every day to write.

4. Take Classes/Join groups

If it takes people to motivate you, join a writing group or challenge. Both will encourage you to stay the course and offer advice for when you struggle. Some people achieve better results with a support group. Consider local or online writing groups and online writing challenges like A Round of Words in 80 Days or National Novel Writing Month. Joining a book club can also help keep your writing senses alert.

5. Strength Training

Don't just write consistently (cardio). You also need to take classes, sign up for challenges, and read to strengthen your writing muscles. Dedicated and consistent writing builds stamina, but we also need to hone in on improving our writing skills.

6. Stretching

Any good workout routine requires stretching at the end so muscles don't become tightened and to avoid injury. Same is true in writing. Take a walk or a yoga class, anything that frees your mind and brings inner peace. Even a writing muscle becomes tight if used too much without taking a cleansing breath.

Above all, be kind to yourself. Nothing in life comes easy. We only lose momentum at times or fall off the wagon. Pick yourself up and stay the course. Write down your goals and what works and doesn't work.

Good luck with your Writing Fitness. In no time you'll have a sexy new piece to show for it.

What's the harest part of a writing fitness routine?

ROW 80 Check In: Words Define Me

As part of the A Round of Words in 80 Days challenge, we check in with fellow challenge writers on Wednesdays and Sundays to access our goals and give each other encouragement. Today is my first check in post since starting (I started one day late).

A brief overview of my goals:

- 750 words six days a week on my WIP (the sequel to Depression Cookies )

- Blog 4-5 days a week on Depression Cookies and review 3 books a month on my other blog, Mom in Love with Fiction

- Read two books on writing (in the 80 days)

[image error] How I did this week:

Wednesday, July 6
Results: 881 words and a blog post on this blog
Reaction: Fist pump!! I exceeded my WIP goals and posted on my main blog.

Thursday, July 7
Results: 789 words and a guest blog post on this blog
Reaction: Still excited, surpassed my 750 word goal. Posted on this blog, but it was a guest post. And a good one at that.

Friday, July 8
Results: 410 words and a post on this blog
Reaction: Frustrated. I sat and stared at a blank page. I had a limited amount of time to devote to writing, and it wouldn't flow. With so much momentum coming into Friday, I was discouraged with this word total. I did blog that day.

Saturday, July 9
Results: 763 words and a post on this blog
Reaction: Back on track. Whew.
Bonus: Did my first Tagxedo on the post. Loved how it turned out and will use this application again when I can't find a relevant picture.

Overall, I'm very pleased with my progress during the first week of the ROW80 challenge. I needed to make writing the sequel a priority, and I'm happy with 2,843 words in four days. I hope the frustrating days are few and far between, but I know it's all part of the process.

I am happy to be keeping up with my posts, but I'm motivated thanks to the Ultimate Blog Challenge. I'll be interested to see how I do once that challenge is over and I'm knee-deep into the sequel story.

I am reading two books, which I rarely do, and hope to have two reviews up in the next week or so. This will keep me on track for my 3 book review goal per month.

I'd love to hear how others are feeling about their goals, whether part of a challenge or personal goals. Is it encouragement or pressure to have a goal like 750 words a day staring you in the face?

Writers Interviewing Writers Equals Beautiful Music

I've posted a lot lately about the community of writers. Yesterday, Mom and I were featured on fellow writer Morgen Bailey's blog. I met her through LinkedIn and read several of her interviews and comments. One of the first things I learned on her blog: she has participated in the National Novel Writing Month for the last three years. My goal is to participate this November, so I asked her to guest post about the process and what she learned. I hope to have the post up this month, so stay tuned.
[image error] A Tagxedo based on our interview
Yesterday, she featured our interview. Please check it out at http://wp.me/p18Ztn-ng. She sent us questions and asked for other information. Mom and I sat down and filled it out together on a recent visit. I'm always unsure how these scripted interviews will come across. I shouldn't have worried. Ms. Bailey puts a magazine article spin on her interviews. When she's done, it comes across like a personal sit down in a coffee shop. She took our answers and weaved them into a song. Beautiful.

Mom and I were feeling a bit burned out on interviews, because the questions can be repetitive and unimaginative. Then the final product is a cut and paste, so it lacks personality. As a reader myself, I like to read books from interesting and engaging authors. Readers have so many choices these days, and many books are well-written. Authors have to sell themselves as much as their books.

Will an interesting and entertaining author interview persuade you to buy his/her book?

Friday Feature: My Favorite Thing I Read this Week and Why

Or, Things Not toDo to Make Things Worth Doing

Not a well-structured sentence, I know. This title illustrates today's post topic, however. We look forward to Fridays: end of the week, weekend activities in sight, and discussing the favorite thing we read. For more reading fun on Fridays, pop over to FridayReads on FB (#fridayreads on Twitter).

[image error] Thank you Ultimate Blog Challenge for bringing some new blogs into my reading universe. Grammar nerd that I am, I particularly enjoyed two posts from Putting Words to Paper this week: You Can't Just Use Spell Check and My Biggest Writing Pet-Peeves. In both posts, Tiffany Jansen bullet points the need for proper punctuation and correct spelling. Two very important elements of writing. Writing is an art. We don't want to muck it up with less than stellar paint brushes.

This week I also stumbled across this quote:

Do not put statements in the negative form.
And don't start sentences with a conjunction.
If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a
great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Unqualified superlatives are the worst of all.
De-accession euphemisms.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Last, but not least, avoid cliches like the plague.
~William Safire, "Great Rules of Writing"Well said. There's a lot to learn from Safire's points and humorous presentation. How much do spelling mistakes, poor grammar, and punctuation errors turn you off from an otherwise great read?