Lynn Schneider's Blog, page 6

BlogFestivus 2012 – Cupid (#6)

Two thirds of the way through. Not sure I’m going to make it. Sometimes it’s hard to keep thinking up this stuff.

Next up is Cupid. Moral of this story is: Persistence pays off in the end, especially if you wait a hundred years.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Cupid.

Cupid, born Cupiddomitryus, had been lovestruck since he was a calf, enamored of the opposite sex from the time he started on oatmash. He wrote poetry about unrequited love, even though the recipients of said poetry thought he might have his hoof up his butt. They shook their antlers at him and rolled their eyes.

Alas, Cupid always came on a little too strong and scared the little doekins away. As he watched how easy it was for the other young bucks and how difficult it was for him, he was devastated and wasted away, starved for love and affection.

His parents, sensing that he was adrift and possibly needed a kickstart into some sort of meaningful existence, managed to enroll him in the Clause Sleigh Training Academy. Surprisingly, he excelled and found a place on Team Clause when an old doe named Hortense retired.

He fell head over hooves in love with Vixen, who avoided him like a case of the mange. But still, he attempted to win Vixen’s favors with his poetry, which sounded like it had been written by an odd buck, who was one branch short of a full rack.

Vixen is my only love

The only one for me

When I watch her fly above

I am as horny as can be

Cupid’s poetry had no affect on Vixen, who ignored him for a hundred years, when suddenly, she relented and they married and lived happily ever after.

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

BlogFestivus 2012 – Comet (#5)

Wasn’t sure whether to post this today or not. Maybe many readers are just not in the mood for some blathering about reindeer.

At the risk of getting too political, there will be those who say (as they always do in the face of a massacre), “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” No. No, no, no. If the sick people could not have guns, they would not be able to take the lives of those who were innocently going about their daily activities, oblivious to the fact that they are about to come into contact with someone who is dangerously mentally ill and who, for whatever reason, wants to kill others at random,

It is time to take a serious look at gun control. But it may already be too late for that. Think about the vast quantities of guns already out there, how could it ever work? For sure, the majority of gun-owners would not give them up voluntarily. The ammunition would have to be controlled, and little by little it would become precious and cost much more than it was worth, and so maybe deter a fraction of the crazies.

We, as parents, have a responsibility to evaluate our children and determine if they are functioning normally or not. This guy, Adam, must have been exhibiting some characteristics that might raise an eyebrow. He had no interaction with friends. And what was his mother doing with a couple of Glocks anyway?

I feel so bad for those caught up in these situations, those unlucky enough to be in a place targetted by psychotics with guns. It is just by chance they are there, where there is danger.

If you don’t want to read further, I understand that. I wrote it yesterday before I knew, so I’ll post it.

Next up is Comet. Moral of this story is: It’s never to late for a second career.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Comet.

Santa stepped inside The Deer Hall, just as Comet and the Buckabillies were hitting the signature line of their signature song “…when the stalls come tumbling down …”. The microphone let out a squeal that nearly fried his hearing aid.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Santa exclaimed.

Thankfully, the other patrons didn’t hear him over the din. They hissed, booed, and covered their ears.

After the set, Comet sat at the bar, downing double grogs, and Santa plopped his plump posterior on the next barstool.

Might want to adjust the EQ on your microphone channel, Santa suggested.

Comet downed the grog left in his trough. Everyone’s got the answer, Comet said. It’s our last night here. Fired.

Santa patted Comet’s haunch. Tell you what, he said. Might have an opening coming up. Slicker, been with me over two hundred years, got cataracts, gets dizzy. Needs the Oxy so as not panic now when he flies. All the other reindeer been bitching, saying he ain’t pulling his weight. They claim they’re hauling his deadass around. Gonna have to put him out to pasture, put him on Oatstamps. You look you got a few centuries left in you. Want the job? Consider it a midlife change in career.

Comet sighed. I’ll let you know.

You do that, said Santa.

Took Comet about thirty seconds. I’ll take it.

And Comet has been pulling Santa’s sleigh for well over one hundred years with no sign of slowing down.

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

BlogFestivus 2012 – Vixen (#4)

Next up is Vixen. Moral of this story is: Girls just wanna have fun.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Vixen.

Occasionally of a Friday night, Santa attended Happy Hour at The Deer Hall with Team Clause, and it happened he was there on a snowy March eve and spotted a lone doe at the bar’s end, blowing smoke at Moe the bartender from the 120mm Virginia Slim she’d just asked him to light. Vixen was her name, and having no opposable digits rendered her smoking a difficult habit to maintain.

After consuming a few Old Thumpers, it became necessary for Santa to take a trip to The Facilities, whereupon exiting, he approached Vixen as she drank her third Grog and Ginger.

I have seen, written upon the wall in The Facilities, to quote “For a good time call Vixen at 1-800-BadGirl”, whispered Santa.

Vixen lowered her false eyelashes, prepared for a sermon.

Enough of this, Santa said. The hoofpolish, the antler glitter. You’ve a nice rack there, no need to tart it up. You must come live a clean life, and be part of my Team Clause.

And so it came to pass that Vixen went to live in the Barn of Clause, and became well adept at flying and pulling Santa’s Sleigh with the other members of Team Clause who were all studbucks, except for Dancer who maintained a lifestyle which Vixen could hardly embrace.

Occasionally, a heady rustle could be heard in the wee hours in Vixen’s stall as she entertained various members of The Team.

Santa looked the other way.

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

BlogFestivus 2012 – Prancer (#3)

Next up Prancer. Moral of this story is: Be careful who you bully.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Prancer.

Prancer, born to Lancer and Pristine Reindeer, was given a combination of both their names. On the night of Prancer’s birth, Lancer had a need to search for a snout full to celebrate it with the other bucks down at the Deer Hall, and left Pristine alone to attend the new hour-old foal.

Alas, Lancer never returned and it was not known what ill had befallen him, though some say he could be seen staggering, dead drunk, near a dangerous precipice.

Thus it was that Prancer was raised by his mother in a single-parent stall. And in his adolescence  the other reindeer laughed behind his back and called him “Prissy Prancer” and made odd body movements, depicting a young buck of ambiguous sexuality.

Prancer, mightily pissed off and weary of the tauntings, began to work his muscles at the YRCA, where he developed a brawn quite unrivaled in its girth and strength  and was endowed with uber-testosterone.

The last unfortunate young buck to sashay and whisper “Prissy Prancer” found himself on the ground, neck under Prancer’s right front hoof.

Thunder, said Prancer. That’s what you shall call me.

So Thunder he became, until Santa enlisted his indubitable strength for Team Clause, and who refused to know him as Thunder. Prancer is your given name, so shall you be known, said Santa.

And Prancer he was again called, but knowing of his bestial strengths, the other reindeer deigned not to screw about with him.

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

BlogFestivus 2012 – Dancer (#2)

This is a bit harder than I thought. I am writing each day’s story the day before, so I don’t get into a writer’s block headspin on the Due Date. Below is the story about Dancer. My general idea: make each reindeer a little disfunctional in one area. Dasher has a problem with depression and overall crankiness. Read on, to discover what Dancer’s problem is.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Dancer.

Of the nine reindeer, Dancer was the first to be employed by Santa. All the others came later and none of the other reindeer knew anything about what Dancer had done with his life before becoming part of Team Clause.

Every night Dancer disappeared for several hours, after the other reindeer were nestled in their beds, faking sleep.

Where did Dancer go?

And what about that name? Dancer? As yet, no one had seen him so much as attempt a soft shoe. And all his claims of being the four-footed Pony champion were conveniently unable to be substantiated due to the fact that any demonstration had to be done to the tune of “Runaround Sue” and none of the other reindeer had this forgotten golden oldie on any playlist.

When asked about his past, Dancer always shook his head so hard his antlers clattered together — he was quite well-endowed — and teared up. The past is better left alone, he said, his childhood memories too painful, except for being that badass clogger he’d been  back when his rack was nothing but a couple of nubs.

One night, after too many bobs into the grog trough, Dancer revealed the truth: He had gender-identification issues. Dancer was actually a female.

The explanation then, of Dancer’s mysterious nocturnal disappearances. She slipped far away, into the deep snow of the North Pole, away from the crowded stalls, so that her counterparts would not see her squatting.

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

BlogFestivus 2012 – Dasher (#1)

Here we go. I’ve never done this before, take part in a “Daily Writing Challenge” but decided to try it. For one reason, I want to see if I can write something funny every day for nine days. Funny by whose standards? Well, mine I guess.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

First up – Dasher.

Dasher had once lived a life of relative ease, the good-ol’-boy reindeer, until thrown into the service of S. Clause during the winter of ’42 and then his days of lazy grazing and doe-stalking were over forever. That Clause guy. What a workaholic. And all so Dasher could afford the Old Buck’s Home for his aging, demented paternal unit, Reginald D Reindeer.

Born Dashwood B Reindeer, his name had been changed to “Dasher” in the first year of his apprenticeship, by Santa. The only reason Santa did this was because Dasher sounded better in the call to order. On Dasher, on Dancer, yada, yada. And anyway, when Santa’s lips were tingling with frostiness, he mangled everyone’s name. If it was frostiness. Who knew, with that moron. Just as likely a pint stuffed in his sock hat.

And what’s it all for anyway? Train, train, train, for 364 days a year. Then the big night comes and he’s just one of many. Just one of eight, while that fat-assed male bimbo, Rudolph, gets all the attention. And that’s because of a huge, shiny nose that lights up bright red. Oh, that’s attractive. Not.

Ask anyone, just ask, where Dasher was in the lineup. Not once, never, did anyone get it right. By the time he could ditch this gig, all the hot reindeer does would be taken. Crap.

It’s no wonder he woke up on the wrong side of the hay pile every morning.

Participating bloggers:

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

Baby Boomer Literature – A New Genre?

Last week, I read an article on Boomer Cafe called “Author Claude Nougat Knows the Next Trend in Publishing”.

" target="_blank">Boomer Cafe.. it’s your place is a site that explores issues which affect people of the BB generation. You can find informative articles about financial management, health issues, trends, retirement topics and lots of other interesting subject matter, and they welcome contributions from readers too.

The article header says:

“Almost since we reached middle age, advertisers and marketers have sold us short. They said we no longer represented the demographic they were looking for. Well, we’ve got news for them: baby boomers are the biggest, richest demographic in the world today. Author Claude Nougat  already knew that, and has begun to promote books written specifically for, and about, baby boomers. She says, it’s the next phenomenon in publishing.”

Coincidental. I had been thinking about pitching Boomer Cafe to do a guest post of my own. But I didn’t have to do that, because Ms. Nougat did it first. I have been talking about this for a long time myself, so I was very glad to read it and discover others were thinking the same way.

In the article, there is a link to a Goodreads Group specifically for BB authors which promotes nothing but BB Lit. YEAH! It took me eleven seconds to sign up for the group and comment. All you readers who are BB authors, you need to check this out! You are not alone. Help is on the way.

Here is the Goodreads group and this link is also in Claude’s article.

Since that article was published, it was picked up by the Passive Voice. It attracted some, shall we say, negative attention. Here are a sampling of some of those not-so-nice remarks:

”As for many baby boomer novels being published, last time I pitched one I can’t remember if the agent guffawed or gagged.”

“There are, Lord knows, some Baby Boomers out there who are so self-absorbed that they think the sole function of popular culture is to chronicle their every whim and eructation.”

“To come to such a conclusion does indeed require the assumption that whatever stage of life the Baby Boomers are going through at a given moment, the paramount purpose of popular culture is to record it.”

“The bottom line is: Old people just aren’t very interesting (I know, I am 65).”

And later, the article was picked up by " target="_blank">Kindle Nation Daily. This site didn’t generate much negativity. Most of the commenters felt it was a great idea and many listed books they have written. Some interesting titles: “Bastard Husband: A Love Story”, “Sex, Lies & Hot Tubs” and “The Old Guy Rules”.

Naturally there are going to be a huge cross-section of people who don’t want to see this, especially those who have it in for our generation, that we are all a bunch of selfish, it’s-all-about-me, self-centered crybabies. If you don’t believe me, google “baby boomers suck” and see what you get. We are blamed for everything from the financial crisis to the current political situation to the high medical costs. We are responsible for taking younger people’s jobs because we won’t die off soon enough. We are aiding in the demise of the world and causing the earth to warm by our conspicuous consumerism.

This is disconcerting, that as a generation we are viewed that way. Personally, I have always been rather pleased to be part of a world-changing group of people. We were sought after, and marketed to when we were younger, but now, not so much. A while back I bitched about NBC taking Harry’s Law off the air. Their reasoning was, we’re old, we’re stuck in the past, we don’t switch brands, we don’t buy enough stuff. All crap, of course, but it appears we, as a generation, have outlived our appeal to advertisers.

Still, there is strength in our sheer numbers, 79 million being one of the more popular counts. It’s decreasing daily, of course, as we die off (although not fast enough for some). If only a portion of this group is interested in reading novels about people their own age, that is still a sizeable market.

The oldest of us are beginning to retire. I did. Gave up the Corporate Hell Life in order to do what I wanted to do. In the coming years, people will retire in great numbers, and with retirement comes leisure, and with leisure comes more time to read.

Baby Boomers Do Not Suck. We are still cool and we will rock our nursing homes. And we’ll still be reading.

It’s about time we had an official Baby Boomer Literature genre.

Rock ‘n Read

Photo courtesy of Microsoft Clipart

 

 

When Good Books Make Bad Movies

When I heard Atlas Shrugged would soon be released, I was elated. I had just read the book.

I wondered why I had waited so long to read it, when it was practically a cult classic. I was hooked from the beginning and the only hard part to get through was John Galt’s infamous 60-page speech. I wanted to say, Geez, John, be a little more concise, will ya’? As my high school English teacher used to preach: Concise! Pithy! Epigrammatic!

The book does tend to be a bit repetitious in its message, just in case you didn’t get it the first time, Ms Rand drills it in over and over. Capitalism = Free Markets = Good. Only when you reward the entrepreneurs, when you allow them to be individuals and succeed in business in whichever way they choose, can society survive. Communism doesn’t work, although it wasn’t exactly Communism as such, but more of an unselfish society where no one must rise above the rest, when all things must be divided equally and all persons share in the wealth.

The novel is over 1000 pages long. There are a lot of subplots, a lot of expounding, a lot of character-building. But it’s all good. The slovenly brother of Dagny, the greedy, clueless family of Hank, the various hanger-ons and leeches. The successful, disappearing businessmen, the scientists influenced by inept politicians. The three brave world-changers.

It was a very engaging, very deep, very complicated novel. Perhaps Ms. Rand could have skinnied this down some, but she chose not to, and if she is a bit verbose, that particular shortcoming is not one which was troublesome to me.

How are they ever going to make a movie of it, wondered I? How will they capture all that nuance into a movie? Then I learned that the new movie was actually Atlas Shrugged, Part II. Ah. So better Netflix Part I because this rather anal reader and watcher of movies must see Part I before Part II. It would be blasphemy to do otherwise. 1 before 2. A before B.

(After rereading the above paragraph, I note that “Netflix” has now become a verb. When did that happen?)

Herr Schneider and I watched Part I. Herr had read Atlas Shrugged when most people did — back when we were young and self-perceived intellectuals. It had been many decades so he barely remembered it, just the message, but not any of the characters or the story.

Part I wasted no time. Bang! Got a lot of ground to cover! Even in multiple movie parts, we need to get going here. Lots of action packed into those scenes. If I hadn’t just read the novel, I wouldn’t have had the first clue about what was going on. I struggled to keep up. 

This is Hank and Dagny as they discover John Galt’s wonderful motor. Picture the scene. They are in an abandoned manufacturing plant. Windows broken, birds flying around. Debris laying all over the place. The place is huge, yet Dagny goes directly to the secret door wherein lies the motor.

Dagny: Looks like they just walked away.

Hank: Not much here.

Dagny: Too bad, I’d really like to figure out what happened here.

(Music swells)

Hank: Dagny. This is it! This is where they made the engine!

Dagny: You think it’s here?

Hank: I can’t believe all this stuff. Some of this is incredibly sophisticated.

Dagny: Unbelievable.

(Pause, as it dawns on Hank and Dagny, they both see it for the first time, and  they move reverently toward the workbench whereupon sits the aforementioned engine,  here in the old, abandoned factory strewn with litter and broken glass and bird poop.)

Dagny: Hank?

(Meaningful pause. Music swells a bit louder now)

Dagny: Atmospheric vacuum.

Hank: What?

Dagny: It’s known as the Casimir effect. It’s a small particle accelerator.

Hank: And this… must be a secondary cooling system, probably designed to eliminate excess heat generated during the process.

Dagny: Ex-ACT-ly. And this creates a magnetic field — in place long enough for the collapsing vacuum pressure to be captured.

Hank: The engine uses atmospheric vacuum to create static electricity! Now does it say anywhere on this document who designed this thing?

Dagny: I don’t see any names. We could get a list of the building employees?

Hank: We go to the Town Hall records, we find the last owner of the factory, we track it back from there. My God Dagny… this could change the world!

This scene was a whole chapter in the book, but took less than seven minutes in the movie.

After watching Atlas Shrugged, Part I, I am not sure I will bother with Part II. The movie seemed cartoonish to me, and events happened so fast my brain couldn’t keep up.

Sometimes, great books don’t make great movies. This was one clear example of that fact. How can a movie, even one in multiple parts, capture what it too 1000+ pages to explain?

It’s clear, it can’t.

Agree? No? Tell me.

The Baby Boomer Reviewer?

I’ll drink to that!

This post started out as a whiney, complainy, bogged down piece of crap-writing that I started weeks ago and then decided never to publish. And I keep whittling it down, taking out the Poor Me stuff until this is what remains.

I’ve been on this marketing project for several months now, and not getting anywhere with it. As a matter of fact, it’s downright discouraging. Many of the new writers I have come to know are having a lot more success than I am. I am beginning to suspect that there are a lot of folks out there who have no interest in what I write, which is fine. Not everyone likes the same thing.

However! It might be time to ask, ”Hold up a minute here! What’s the problem?”

So far I can’t figure out what the problem is. Whether I am not reaching my target audience or whether my target audience really would rather read the Twilight series or Fifty Shades of Grey.  

Photo by saratogajean

Where did everyone go?

Recently, I did a free giveaway of the Kindle version of Perigee Moon and got less than 200 downloads and no reviews out of it, the reviews being the main point of the giveaway. So what good did the whole exercise do? I went to all the book free day sites and made the announcement. I don’t see any positive results in doing any of it, although maybe it will take time for reviews to come in. The more good reviews a book has, the better it does. 

On a more positive note, I believe I have learned a lot about the writing craft in the last decade or so. I know what I perceive is good writing. I know whose voice I love and whose I don’t. I can recognize good writing, believable characters, and excellent stories. So I am thinking very seriously of becoming an “official” book reviewer.

I wrote a post recently about trying to find sites to get my own book reviewed, about the criteria I used to determine if a site would be a good fit. I wrote about the overabundance of people willing to review books about vampires and monsters and other foul creatures, but there were very few, make that none, that I could be absolutely positive would be a site that would want to review books about baby boomers finding their way at last, determining who they want to be later on in life, finding love.

One thing I have always believed, and still do, is that our generation is one of readers. We didn’t have video games and computers and other electronics to distract us when we were growing up, we had television and books. And while many of us have embraced the technology that makes our lives more connected and more interesting, we still basically love to read. As we start to retire, we have more time to read, and what better subject to read about than our own generation?

What if I become the Baby Boomer Reviewer? Books by and/or about that generation? They wouldn’t all have to be in my exact genre, but if they are written by baby boomer authors who just want to get reviewed then I’d be willing to do it. Hell, you don’t even have to be a baby boomer. Just a new author trying to get a start. And, of course, these reviews will be given with no currency exchanging hands.

If I can help to spread the word, help a new author, then why not?

Here’s the catch. I’d have a very hard time telling an author that I didn’t like his work. I’d have to be really honest and that will be hard for me, but a review isn’t worth anything unless it’s genuine. And who’s to say, I might not like it but someone else might love it? I’ve sure noticed that all people don’t like the same thing myself.

I’d be reluctant to give 5 star reviews. I have given them in the past, but really, I think 5 star reviews are reserved for truly great pieces of literature. Prose where I marvel at the beautiful sentences, and the exquisite phrasing. You all probably know by now how I feel about Scott Spencer and Jonathan Franzen. These men have both written books I would consider 5 star quality. But for the rest of us, well, we can’t all be authors of that caliber. We just can’t. It isn’t possible.

I’ve written quite a few reviews lately. Few of them were 5 star, but some of them were really, really good books. I’m including a link here to my Amazon reviews.

I’d post each review on a new My Reviews page as I do them, with a link to Amazon (or wherever the author would like the review directed). Here are some of the genres of books I would review:

General Fiction
Historical Fiction
Literary Fiction
Baby Boomer Fiction
Memoir
Mystery/Thrillers
Short Story Collections
Non-fiction (as long as I have some knowledge of the topic)

No genre romance, no inspiration, no erotica. No urban fantasy, no vampires, werewolves or drudges. No steampunk — and if anyone can explain to me exactly what this is, would you please comment? None of these interest me and I wouldn’t be able to give a satisfactory review of that material.

I’d love to hear if there are any new authors who would be interested in having me review their work.

Obamacare Made Us Do It!

What!!? No more Twinkies?

Hostess Brands recently announced its intention to go into bankruptcy, lay off over 18,000 workers and liquidate assets. The management/union disagreements focused on reducing workers’ benefits and salary cuts. The CEO got his pay tripled, but the rest of the worker bees doing the baking and packaging and distributing of the delectable little goodies were supposed to suck it up and settle for less. Among those reduced benefits is health insurance. But the union objected to this plan and now Hostess is one of those whining companies “Obamacare made us do it!!”

I guess it’s not unreasonable to assume that a company which makes its profit by delivering shit to kids and adults with Ding Dong addictions wouldn’t really be too concerned about healthy eating, let along health care for its employees.

And after all, those employees probably got a lot better perks than health insurance, like access to the Twinkie rejects and good deals on the merchandise. They should be willing to trade snack cakes for health care. It’s only fair, right?

But, really? No more Hostess Products? No more tasty cupcakes, no more gooey, spongy, chemical-laden “snack cakes”? No more Wonder bread? Whatever is to become of us? Oh wait. We stopped eating that garbage decades ago. That’s right. Now I remember, when companies had to start labeling their products with the actual crap that was in them. In addition to the usual: high fructose corn syrup, glucose, dextrose, palm oil, sweet dairy whey and cellulose gum, there are more mysterious ingredients to be noted. Stuff like ferrous sulfate, sodium caseinate, mono and diglycerides, stearoyllactylate, sodium caseinate, agar and a few things to “retain freshness”. Oh yeah, Hostess products have a 25-day shelf life.

Pretend you made some chocolate cupcakes. Pretend you injected them with white sticky goo and wrapped them in plastic and sat them on your counter for 25 days. Do you think you’d be wanting to chomp into one on that last day? Then think of what has to go into Hostess cupcakes to keep them from getting the way yours now look after a 3 1/2 week sabbatical.

This would be their cupcake:

Photo credit: Newbirth35 / Foter / CC BY-NC

This would be your cupcake:

Photo by Psybeartist

I once worked in a small town in Ohio. Kind of an everyman’s kind of town, and I’d stop in at a tiny grocery two or three times a week in the morning to get a coffee to go and a newspaper. Invariably, I’d see high school kids in there, before school, buying cigarettes, Mountain Dew and Hostess snacks. Talk about a three-way burner! Holy headspin! We’re talkin’ some major uppers here, enough to get those kids through until third period at least.

You may think, but kids can’t buy cigarettes. Well, in this place they could, because the guy behind the counter taking in the small change was related in some way to all of them. It was that kind of town, where The Extreme Tractor Pull and The September Gopher Shoot were the two major social events of the year.

I’m trying real hard not to put a label on the types of people who would buy Hostess stuff, but it is difficult not to do that. Usually, it’s people who live for today, the hell with tomorrow, if I want to eat stuff that in no way resembles real food, then I should be able to do that. So don’t take away my Dolly Madison Cakes. And I’ll have a 20-ounce Dew and a pack of Marlboros with them.

Thankfully, this segment of the population seems to be in decline as people become more and more concerned with health issues and what kinds of foods they eat. Consumers now want organic-grown vegetables and meat that hasn’t been injected with growth hormones and antibiotics. A lot of us now really care what we are putting into our bodies. To a person, we are rejecting Hostess stuff.

So finally  Hostess reluctantly admitted that well, yes, there has been a downturn in recent years, a somewhat diminished demand for their products.

You think?

It’s getting very tiring listening to these junk food places blathering on about Obamacare. It hasn’t even happened yet. To my knowledge, 2014 is the first year anyone has to do anything about it. So why all the bitching about it now?

Maybe because, you weren’t on the winning side in this latest election? Maybe because you want to get out there and let everyone know, “Well, it’s your fault, you 51% of Americans for voting for him. It’s all his fault we have to lay off people and close down our good factories.” Bullshit.

It’s your own fault, Hostess, for committing to products that no one wants anymore. You’ve mismanaged your company for years. You’re in debt you can’t get out of. This is just a good excuse to get political and obfuscate the real reasons for your failure.

Yeah, yeah, we all know how Denny’s Grand Slam is going to go up by 49 cents and Papa John’s Pizza will cost more in order to pay for Obamacare. Sniff, sniff. Get over yourselves. It won’t work. It would be a dark day I’d dine in Denny’s. (How’s that for alliteration?). One doesn’t “dine” in Denny’s, one scarfs.

And I like pizza as well as the next person, but Papa John, think I’ll be passin’ on you.

Get a life. You lost.

So, Hostess, while it is so much more convenient to complain about Obamacare and blame the death of your company on labor unions, it was going down anyway.