Lynn Schneider's Blog, page 5

Seven Questions About a Very Important Subject

One thing that has always interested me, is people who do things to the extreme. Who take a good thing, or an okay thing, and do it to the extent that it becomes bizarre, unwholesome, and endangers health and happiness. … Continue reading →

Entertainment Pie

A couple of pieces of Entertainment Pie. From opposite sides of the world, and opposite sides of the enjoyment-meter, experienced on the same day. First, Life of Pi, which was a beautiful movie. The story of a young boy and … Continue reading →

Stop Pulling Your Hair Out – Steps to Easy E-formatting

Some authors I have come to know are having some issues formatting their novels for ebooks. I can help with that. If you are not an author, this post will probably not be interesting to you. You can stop right … Continue reading →

10 Things Not to Like About Fifty Shades of Grey

Rated M for Mature Audiences. What’s wrong with Fifty Shades of Grey? What’s right with it? Read on, to find out! Yet another blogger is taking it upon herself to critique Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. Moi! This … Continue reading →

The Next Big Thing Blog Hop Makes a Stop Here

Thanks to Carol Fragale Brill of 4 Broad Minds for tagging me in The Next Big Thing Blog Hop. Carol’s new novel, Piece by Peace is coming out very soon and I am excited to read it. I have read … Continue reading →

Unknown Blogger Ages Ten Years After Receiving Negative Comment!

How I love getting those emails from WordPress which announce a new comment! Maybe, in time, I will choose not to receive a notification for each and every comment, but for now, they aren’t so much in abundance that they … Continue reading →

Happy Holidays! Oh wait…

I wanted to get this in before The End of The World. One final post, in preparation for the end of everything (as we know it), my third-act little bit of propaganda, so that it might be fresh in your mind, the last thing … Continue reading →

BlogFestivus 2012 – Rudolph (#9)

Next up is Rudolph. Everyone thinks they know this story. But it was all hearsay. This is what really happened. (And I found I had to look up whether it was “hearsay” or “heresay”. Duh.) And this concludes the nine-day … Continue reading →

BlogFestivus 2012 – Blitzen (#8)

Next up is Blitzen. Moral of this story is: Listen to others. They may be able to tell you bigger lies about yourself than you believed possible.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Blitzen.

Blitzen, diagnosed with PPD (Paranoid Personality Disorder), hid his affliction long enough to be taken on by Team Clause. But once he was surrounded by eight other reindeer, he was the odd buck out, befriended only by Dancer, who was, with her gender-identification issues, the butt of a few jokes of her own.

Blitzen and Dancer bobbed in the grog trough together, and stood side by side at the oat bucket and mash bins. Blitzen, ruled as he was by the powerful notion the other bucks talked about him, overreacted shamefully, constantly looking over his haunches, to see who was grazing together, gossiping about his shortcomings.

One day he found Dasher and Prancer together, as they whispered.

Dancer, sobbed Blitzen. They say my rack is a blighty joke!

No, Blitzen, no, said Dancer. They say your rack is a mighty oak.

The following day it was Comet and Cupid who did not make eye contact.

Oh, Dancer, mewed Blitzen. They say my chin is too big!

No, Blitzen, no, said Dancer. They say you are thin as a twig.

And that same night, he heard Vixen and Rudolph.

Oh, Dancer, cried Blitzen. They say I fly slow as a turtle!

No, Blitzen, no, said Dancer. They say you don’t fly but you hurtle.

Finally, Blitzen, convinced that he was wrong and Dancer right, smiled, ditched his excessive compulsions, became the lithe, strong buck he was meant to be and lived successfully ever after.

 Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.

BlogFestivus 2012 – Donner (#7)

Next up is Donner. Moral of this story is: Uh, suck up for the first hundred years so you can be King of the Grog Hole? That’s not much of a moral, but it is what happened.

Sponsored by Blogdramedy, each story will be about one of Santa’s reindeer and must be exactly 243 words long. Many other bloggers are taking part. The list follows the story, if you would like to check out other stories and compare.

Donner.

Another Santa-induced name change occurred with Dunder, which evolved into Donder, and finally, probably due to Jack Frost nipping at Santa’s nose and Jack Daniels nipping at Santa’s gullet, Donner.

Donner’s father was a drifter and his mother, it was said, a fallen doe, having given birth without benefit of matrimony. Donner grew up in severe poverty, however he was lucky enough to be the recipient of a scholarship to the Clause Sleigh Training Academy offered by the Foundation for Underprivileged Reindeer (FUR). Donner, who aspired to pull himself up by the hoofstraps, completed his flight training and was named to Team Clause in the summer of ’96.

After one century, he received tenure at which time it took more than merely being voted off the Team by the other reindeer, it took an Act of Clause. Once he held the position securely, he began to plump up and returned to the old neighborhood, dressed in fancy clothing, smoking from a cigarette holder, throwing bucks around at the Grog Hole.

He liked to wear a black top hat, white gloves, a grey cummerbund and a white cashmere coat. As he stepped out of the hired limo, everyone stopped and stared, at the great Dunder, from the old neighborhood. Born into poverty, ascending into wealth.

All the other reindeer fawned over him, and took his coat and hat, and escorted him to the best seat in the house, whereupon Donner declared grog for everyone.

Steve Betz – the holiday mixer.
Rewind Revise – newly married and on her very own joy train.
Lenore Diane – thoughts from the Elf Queen herself.
Shouts from the Abyss – Tom’s on a mission to blighten your holiday season.
Fit it or Deal – Amy Severson bringing it robot-style.
Lynn Schneider Books – Lynn, the BlogFestivus newbie.
1 Point Perspective – the Bruce Willis of WordPress.
So I Went Undercover – she’s undercover and that’s all I’ll say about that.
Joe Owen’s Blog – he’s got forty-something eyes. Not Betty Davis eyes.
MC’s Whispers – Maria-Christina works in PR. What kind of “spin” will she put on this writing challenge?
LittleWonder2  – a musical surfing vampire lover. I know.
Blog It or Lose It! – One word. Minecraft.
Voice in Me – Reena’s from India…where reindeer go on vacation.
Apprentice, never master – Gwendolyn, the fearless.
A Year of Daily Posts – Sarah, the paperback writer (three manuscripts but they count.)
Diary of a Sensitive Soul – Immie, blogging from the U.K. (Why am I feeling Bruce Springsteen?)
Dot Knows! – Liz, the life changer.
k8edid – oh, yes. She did.
The Day After — A musing wannabe.
A Spoonful of Suga — Making reality sexy.