Michael Joe Armijo's Blog, page 90

B.B. and Z.B.

Love was a rare thing, easily confused with a million other things.
-Junot Diaz
THE BRIEF WONDROUS LIFE OF OSCAR WAO

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 18, 1987
Wednesday

My boss, Steve Adams, observed "one" incoming call with me today.

He said, "You need to practice on controlling the customer more. And you need to let them know that you're making a courtesy call to them."
I just listened and felt good as I was my brain thought, "You're such an asshole!"


Jeff Sombat telephoned from Oahu, Hawaii. He seems to be doing well, working a lot.

Jeff announced happily, "Yeah, I had another B-52 about a week ago."
I laughed and said, "That is such a strong drink.  I'll never forget it!  I could have used one today."

I rode my bike after work for forty-five minutes. The exhilaration and freedom with the wind felt so good.

I telephoned Eileen during my lunch hour.

I had a vivid dream about Eileen and a marriage. We had two boys named "BeeBee" and "ZeeBee". How strange is that? Maybe they were initials for B.B. and Z.B.   Were they twins?  It must have been a futuristic family dream.  I think we were living on MARS.  It may have possibly been in another life. Who knows?

I didn't bother going to the gym tonight. Instead, I went over to visit with my Dad. Unfortunately, he wasn't home. I bet he went to visit one of his half-sisters (Julia or Nellie).

I showered back at my place and watched tonight's episode of DYNASTY. I decided to 'hit the hay' early. I was in bed by ten o'clock. Yawn.

"When we look at the stars we see our past."
-The Sky We Were Born Under
2011 Brazilian film

Laughing Hysterically

"The stream of memory may lead you to the river of understanding. And understanding, in turn, may be a tributary to the river of forgiveness."
-Wally Lamb
I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 17, 1987
Tuesday

It's St. Patrick's Day. Yes, I wore green. Carla and I went to LITTLE JOE'S and we brought and ate the avocado that Paul Margolis gave her. It was good, so fresh.
She joked, "I hope he didn't poison it."
I laughed.
I ordered tortellini and she had the lamb special. The corn meal mix didn't look too appetizing.
She said, "Oh, I don't like it Michael."
Once again, I laughed.  We were both laughing hysterically.

Carla bought some peanut butter-shaped rabbits and I lost them. I was so disappointed. We cracked-up with our laughing so hard.
Gloria Romero said, "I get the credit apps and I just shove them in a drawer. I have no time to file them!"
Carla and I busted up laughing just from her comment. It was just blurted out in such a funny way. We couldn't help ourselves.

Nikki had me work a special project for her. Should I have felt special? Frankly, I suppose I did. I had to total up the grand totals for delinquent amounts, amount collected and monthly amounts for specific Pac Bell Directory books. Then I had to differentiate which sales office handled which accounts. It was a chore but I was able to handle it beautifully and in such an organized way.

After work I went for a bike ride. It was very windy. I was going against the wind. It's a great feat when accomplished. I was going to do aerobics, too but I failed to do so.

Johnny Schaefer called me. He sounded like he had a bad cold.
Johnny said, "I met Jeffrey Osborne at my friend Wendy's house."
I didn't have any idea who Jeffrey Osborne was, so it was no big deal to me. Apparently he's a musician of some kind.
Gary Conger, the dreamy green-eyed bartender called me.
I came across excited: "Hey, I'm coming this weekend!"
"You know, you can stay at my place!"
"That sounds good."
"Really, you can."
"I know…but I really don't want to impose."
"It's okay."
"I know…but I still feel kind of funny."
"I live with my brother, so it's really okay."
Gary and I finally had a good talk of substance. He decided to come up front with me about his alcoholic and cocaine problems that he has had. I listened while trying to be comforting at the same time.
Gary announced freely, "I'm very AWARE now."
"That's good," I replied.
I wasn't sure what else to say.  If anything...I felt I should be more aware now.
Gary changed the subject: "Your name will be on a list at the door…at THE RAGE on Friday night, so you can just walk-in and not wait in any line."
"That's great. I will see you then!"
I explained how I had intentions of first going to the L.A. Family Fitness Center after acquiring my rental car.

I watched a TV sit-com called GROWING PAINS and a little bit of MOONLIGHTING until I decided to go to bed for the night.

I get to work from 8 until 4:30PM on Thursday because Vivian Adams needs to work until 5PM. Rhoda Takeda was in full agreement to switch hours with me on Friday. This will allow me to make my flight on time. It's great for me.

"I will only use you for other things and never let it molest your conscience."
-THE TUDORS
Season I, Episode 9

Dad: 'My Buddy'

You could always tell a gentleman by the way he kept his shoes.

-V.S. Naipaul
A WAY IN THE WORLD

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 16, 1987
Monday

Carla had the day off today and she forgot to tell me. What nerve! I shouldn't have polished my shoes this morning.

I made a quick arrangement with my coworker, Freddie Perilleat, for a lunch outing. We went to LITTLE JOE'S for a great beef stew.

I telephoned former coworker, Sue Fischer, and made arrangements to meet her for lunch on Wednesday.

I did keep my promise by calling Margaret Lai too. On March 29th we will try to meet up. It's a Sunday. She also came up with a business idea that she wants to discuss.
Margaret said, "I want to propose a partnership into buying a $79,000 townhouse together in El Sobrante. All you need is ten thousand dollars."
I asked myself, "Hmm…does she think I can come up with that figure easily?"
I simply said, "I'll think about it."
I really don't see how.
I am proud of myself because I went on an energetic bike ride along Alameda's South Shore beach after work today. It was a good workout. It was so good that it spurred on a continuation at my gym. After my gym workout I accepted my Dad's invitation to have a roast beef sandwich. Of course, I had a slice of mom's homemade cake for dessert. That's okay. I deserved it. I do feel I've gained some weight but I am working on it now at least. My legs feel very strong.

I left Dad a bit before nine o'clock. We're on such good terms now. He's being 'my buddy' now. I showered once I walked into my pad and watched an African-Ethiopian famine documentary. It was depressing, but spiritually worthwhile.

I called Gary Conger in L.A. and left him a reminder message to call me. He didn't. I'll likely see him hard at work at THE RAGE on Friday night. I plan to go to the Los Angeles Family Fitness Center and the Beverly Hills Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel.  The Polo Lounge is a big 'maybe'. I'd just like to venture in for a drink to see what it's like.

Carla telephoned but I forwarded her calls to her recorded message. I didn't feel like speaking to her because she pulled a 'no show' today. She knew I'd be mad and sad.

At lunch I searched within myself as I spoke to Freddie as to what else I wanted to do 'in life'. I know I want to be an Advertising Sales Rep on the one hand. On the other hand I fantasize about the concept of modeling or acting. The idea of being an author or writer is really tops in my book. I should pursue some writing classes again and quit 'thinking about it'. At least this journal is a form of writing. I know I would enjoy taking a Creative Writing course again. I want to save up a lot of money first. My credit card bills are hovering over my head. They will be gone soon enough. The word 'SAVE' will then become my middle name.

My weekend trip to L.A. with the rent-a-car ought to be fun. I am so looking forward to that weekend adventure. I need that time alone to ponder and discover.

"I'd like to indulge a whim of mine."
-Betty Smith
A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN

It May As Well Be You

Residue of life, the sound of a voice still hanging in the air, sensation lingering on, still real enough, apprehensible—such was the power of memory.
-Joanna Scott
MAKE BELIEVE

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 15, 1987
Sunday

I woke up at 8AM and by 8:45AM I was on my BIANCHI bicycle, getting started on a beautiful day. I rode from Harbor Bay Isle in Alameda to San Ramon and back to Alameda. It took a good four hours because I chose to stop in San Ramon and Castro Valley for a brief ten minutes of rest. It was a grueling work out of a ride but somebody's got to do it (as I told my sister-in-law, Helen).
I liked Helen's response, "It may as well be you."

Upon my return I slept (or tried to) at mom and dad's house when Tony, Helen and Lauren arrived. Then Sherri and Ashley arrived. Before long it was now almost 2PM.
"Thanks Mom…for the banana you prepared for me and the 7-up."
She laughed and I rode my bike home.

I changed my clothes and drove to pick up Eileen in Hillsborough.

Blake's' Birthday party was in full-swing. Blake is one of the three boys that Eileen caters to as nanny/babysitter. As Blake's party was ending Eileen and I left in my car for Alameda. We stopped at my parent's house for a great dinner. We had a good time. After the dining 'at home' experience we headed out for Hayward for even more excitement.

We went to see the latest Mel Gibson film called LETHAL WEAPON. It was a great film. I drove Eileen home to Burlingame after the movie.
During the drive Eileen said, "What a great Sunday!"
I agreed, "Yeah, it was great!"
"You know, Katrina wants me to accompany her to L.A. next weekend but I'm not sure I can get the time off."
I didn't say a word, just kept driving.

I went to mom's house again for another piece of her homemade roast and a slice of cake. I watched the tail end of THE STEPFORD CHILDREN, a TV-movie, and then left for my pad.

I made a private pact with myself that starting tomorrow I would eat RIGHT or not-at-all.

Oh yes, Carla Guzman called me Saturday morning. Johnny Schaefer called a couple of times on Sunday. I didn't return either of their calls.

Frank Evans, the Stanford University student, called me and I did manage to call him back.
Frank screeched excitedly, "I'm going to London on June 11th!"
His excitement got me in the mood of going, too. I may go at that time as well. I don't know yet. I'm not so sure. It sounds like a good idea.
Frank said, "I want to go to Oxford University next year."
"You do?" I asked.
"Yes, I will know if I have been accepted at the end of April."
"Wow, that's brave."
I continued to speak to him briefly. He is leaving for Hawaii on Saturday with a gang of fellow Stanford friends.
Frank said, "We're only going to the island of Maui."
I was a little jealous.

"Fresh air is what you need, and sunshine."
-Betty Smith
A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN

Proud

I'd just lie like a rug…trying to look innocent as Little Bo Peep.
-Keith Banner
THE LIFE I LEAD, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 14, 1987
Saturday

I woke up and went to mom's house. It was raining but it didn't stop us from going to OLE'S WAFFLE SHOP. We bought our usual lottery ticket at the corner Alameda Drug Store 'for the fun of it'. I love going out to breakfast with mom. It makes it all the more appealing.

After breakfast I went home and fell asleep on my couch. Afterwards, I went over to my Brother John's house to deliver him some baseball bidding memorabilia mail that I had received.

By 5:45PM I was back at mom and dad's house but I was surprised because mom and dad weren't at home. They had gone grocery shopping and then to dinner at the MEXICALI ROSE. I remained at their house, watching ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT, the news and the big Lottery Spin. I wish I had won the seven million dollars. Oh well…

I kept mom and dad company when they returned home and watched an 'ok' movie with them called PRISON FOR CHILDREN.

When I returned to my place I spoke to Eileen by phone for a short while. I chose to hit the sack early tonight. It was ten-thirty on a Saturday night and I was going to bed early.  I felt so proud.

Let's just live and what will happen will happen.
-C.D. Payne
YOUTH IN REVOLT

A Fond Farewell

I can't deal right now with anybody's attitude but my own.

-Keith Banner
THE LIFE I LEAD, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 13, 1987
Friday

It's Friday the 13th. I have to be realistic about the idea of purchasing a JAGUAR. It's next to impossible at this point. The insurance alone would be mind-boggling. First, I must close out all of my current debts and then I will take a new look. I guess that means I will forget about selling my car for now. The finance charges aren't even tax-deductible for this year. My best bet is a house in Alameda (perhaps).
I thought, "No, I won't give-up on my JAGUAR. I'm young, single and free!"

I wore my brown leather pants today (per Carla's request). She should be wearing her red and blue leather. We shall see.

Oh, I just saw big, fat Cindy Chow drive into my parking lot. I will remain in my car until she splits the scene. She's so 'yucky' in terms of personality. There are so many that find her 'snobbish', so it's not just me.

Fridays are great. Carla and I always have a good time. After work I drove her home and then she had to find her daughter, Priscilla, some clothes to wear for a Birthday Party tomorrow. We arrived at RAGGS at about 6:15PM to see Dale. Al Martinez, Cedric Green, Erika, Robert (from Alameda) and a few others were there. The others aren't worth mentioning. I had a glass of water and a few drinks of Champagne and 'that was that'. I gave Dale a big bear hug and a fond farewell, wishing hime success at his new job in Walnut Creek.

I drove Carla home and then went home myself.

I telephoned Eileen Grabinsky at about 9PM.
I explained, "I can't come over tonight. I'm just too tired to do the drive from Alameda to Hillsborough to Palo Alto to Hillsborough and back to Alameda again!"
I believe she understood.

I just wrote Joe Sanford a sympathy letter. He's a coworker from my former SDC department and he's dying of AIDS. I used to work with him and he was a nice chap.  It's very sad.

Gary called me from L.A.
Gary announced, "I'm going away for the weekend but I'll call you on Monday or Tuesday."
"Okay, I hope I get to see you when I come down next weekend."
"I have to work on Saturday and Sunday night but I'll make time."
"That's great. I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

I had talked with him perhaps half a dozen times in the past month and found, to my disappointment, that he had little to say.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
THE GREAT GATSBY

Feeling His Attraction

"It ain't over until the fat lady sings."

-A colloquialism, essentially meaning that one should not assume the outcome of some activity until it has actually finished, similar to a common proverb. It is a perception of GRAND OPERA, with its stereotypically overweight sopranos.

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 12, 1987
Thursday

At lunch time Carla and I hit NATOMA's at high noon. She's so cool. I like her a lot but she's such a damn flirt with everybody.

No, I didn't go the gym nor did I do my aerobics.

I went to visit Dad and ended up eating a bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats. We watched the news and I was happy that I did receive my United Airlines Ticket for next weekend's trip to L.A.

I evaluated my financial picture and I currently still have some debt on my credit card. It's manageable though. I am considering the idea of selling my car. If I did that I'd be pretty much paid off and could concentrate on my major purchase of a new JAGUAR. Of course, I'd only use that car on weekends. I might use it one day a week to work but I'd rather take the express bus. I wouldn't want to take the chance of parking lot idiots hitting my car (ugh!). Who knows? Maybe I could buy my new JAGUAR now. I ought to look into it more closely.

Jeff Sombat called me from Hawaii again. I am clearly feeling his attraction towards me from the tone of his words by phone. It was a nice surprise phone call. Carla, Jeff and Stefan all received the cards I sent them.
Jeff said, "I have been working so much lately. I'm working until seven o'clock tonight and then I have to work from nine until four-thirty tomorrow!"
"How do you do it?"
"I don't know."
Well, it sounds like the money will be rolling in for him.

I spoke to Laverne today. She reminded me about Steph's Barbecue party at 2PM in San Bruno.
I said to Laverne, "I may go. I don't know for sure yet."

I am going for drinks tomorrow evening at RAGGS with Carla to give Dale Orlando his farewell from Pacific Bell. I'm sure Dale will stir up more controversy with his new coworkers at Pac Tel Info Systems.   He definitely has a "problem".

Andy is often called asexual as a way to avoid calling him queer. He referred to homosexuality as a "problem": "Does 'so-and-so' have a problem?" He would ask his friends, hoping the answer would be yes.
-Wayne Koestenbaum
ANDY WARHOL

You're So Smooth

PHOTO: George Dyer b. 1934 d. 1971
Artist Francis Bacon's relationship with George Dyer whom he met in late 1963 was stormy and ultimately proved tragic.
Two days before the opening of the Francis Bacon Retrospective at the Grand Palais in Paris in 1971, Dyer was found dead from a drink and drugs overdose in the bathroom of the Hotel des Saint-Pères in Paris.
Bacon painted portraits of Dyer obsessively, both during his life and after Dyer's death in 1971.





"Was he gay?"
"What on earth does it matter?"
-Matthew Stadler
ALLAN STEIN, a novel

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 11, 1987
Wednesday

Carla, Rhoda and two of Rhoda's friends (Becky and Patty) and I hit the International Restaurant for lunch. Carla insisted on treating me. She can be such a sweetheart.

I wrote up a card for Johnny Schaefer. He had sent me a great biker at the beach postcard. I also sent Eileen another card to let her know she can "Lie Down and tell me all about it…"

It's official. I am going to Los Angeles for the weekend of March 20th. Julia of Ask Mr. Foster will be sending my airline tickets via registered mail to my mom's address. I gave mom's address because I knew she'd be home to accept it.
Lottie McHenry called me from Sacramento.
"I got your Hawaiian postcard. I loved it! I also have a new job now with Sacramento Cable Company."
She's so sweet.  I love her vibrant energy.  It rubs off.

Nikke loved her "smooth" Birthday card (as she described it). It included a picture of COOL WHIP with a candle in the center and inside the card was printed:  YOU'RE SO SMOOTH.
She really loved it.

I met the General Sales Manager of the San Francisco PBD Sales Branch. Her name is Elena Drury. She's pretty, young and has nice blue eyes.
I said to her, "Oh wow, I want to get into sales."
Elena responded in a short, assertive tone, "Get assessed!"
I thought, "Yeah, right…easier said than done."
She wasn't a lot of help. I guess I have to serve my time and just plain wait my turn. April 1988 is coming closer and closer.

I didn't hit the gym for a workout tonight. I remained home and watched DYNASTY as I did the domestic chore of washing and folding clothes.

I also wrote new cards to Johnny Schaefer and Eileen Grabinsky.

I returned a call to Mark Landreth.
Mark said, "I've been doing aerobics two nights a week at some local recreation center and jogging."
I asked, "Is that equivalent to what you used to do?"
"Yeah…so far."
Mark seemed satisfied but I guess I won't see as much of him at the gym anymore.

I left a voice mail message for Gary Conger in Los Angeles.
I asked Gary, "Did you—by any chance—receive any cards lately?"
I haven't heard back from him yet. Oh well…

My work day flew by relatively quickly. I am so glad of that fact.

I need to call my mom because the work day moves along and I never get the chance to speak with her as much as I would like to do. Oh well…

I was supposed to call Margaret Lai last Sunday but I didn't. Oh well…

I received my Pacific Bell BONUS check of $201.50. Carla received $1800.00. It kind of rubs me the wrong way. Oh well…what the hell. I won't sulk over it. Maybe I will win the lottery (Ha-ha).

I guess I will go for some French toast tomorrow morning. My stomach is growling.

"We must pay attention to what our heart prefers—for ourselves as much as our work."
-Tucker Malarkey
AN OBVIOUS ENCHANTMENT

I Shouldn't Hold A Grudge

"Geniuses…are of two kinds: the ones who are just like all of us, but very much more so, and the ones who, apparently, have an extra human spark."

-Silvia Nasar
A BEAUTIFUL MIND

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 10, 1987
Tuesday

My pictures were a hit with Rhoda Takeda and Carla Guzman (especially the one of me holding a black wash towel, showing my Hawaiian tan line). Carla grabbed that one and kept it by her desk for most of the day.
I simply laughed but shouted, "You better give it back!"
I know she wanted to keep it. It's a Polaroid shot, so it's the only one in existence.

I had lasagna for lunch with Carla today. I wanted to do my aerobics tape workout when I arrived home but I slept instead. Tomorrow will be a better day.

I learned at the gym tonight from Troy that Mark Landreth's gym membership had expired. I telephoned Mark later but he had company and he couldn't talk for very long.
I thought, "Oh well, just because he no longer attends the gym doesn't mean it will stop me."

I telephoned Eileen and she continues to speak of her ex-beau, "Dave is still trying to put a hold on me even though he knows that we're going out."
"Oh brother," I exclaimed.
",,,but I like you," she said.
"Me too."
We enjoyed KOIT radio tunes as we had a nice talk.

I made a long-distance phone call to Hawaii and left a message for Jeff, Carla and Stefan. None of them were home at 9:15PM.
Jeff returned my call at 7AM the next day. I didn't bother to ask if he'd received my letter. I know he hadn't otherwise he would have mentioned it.

Mom telephoned me while at work today.
She said, "You know what…my cousin, Arthur Lucero, Victor's son, called from Colorado and wants to have a family reunion in July."
"That sounds fun!"
"Mom, Betty and Lillian said they'd go."
"I'd go too!"

I wrote Nikki Bovee a belated Birthday card. Hell, she's nice and I shouldn't hold a grudge even if she did promote the dunce and dildo brain, Paul Margolis.

Gloria Romero, the staff clerk, brought me some stuffed breast of chicken and peas in cream sauce from her homemade dinner last night. I placed them in the microwave and it tasted so good! She loves to cook. That was sweet of her to remember me and bring the leftovers.

I telephoned Dale Orlando. We were having a cordial conversation and then he surprised me by going on about his views on gay sex.
"You know, Michael, you can have safe gay sex without having to worry about contracting AIDS."
I thought, "Oh brother," and asked curiously, "Oh yeah?"
Dale continued, "I'm having a going away 'have a drink night' this coming Friday at RAGGS and I'd love for you to attend."
"Oh, I don't know."
"Oh come on, you can bring Carla."
"Okay, I'll try."
"And Steph is having a Barbecue on Saturday at two o'clock at her house and you're invited!"
"Okay, well, I'm not too sure I can make it to that one."

"If it were I," Peony said, "I would like to remind someone—the one I love—of—of a fragrance—caught upon the winds of night—or dew at sunrise."
Within the lotus bud the dewdrop waited.
-Pearl S Buck
PEONY

I'm IN LOVE

"We're at war today and to be effective we have to learn to blend in."

-TRAITOR
2008 motion-picture

Twenty-five years ago today:

March 9, 1987
Monday

It's a new week. Paul Margolis made a comment to me regarding the next round draft pick for Pac Bell Directory's Management pool.
He said, "Michael, you're next!"
He made a clear implication of it. We'll see.

Carla and I had a feast of a lunch at DON MIGUEL's. The taco, enchilada combo was delicious but filling. I was hungry!

Lily brought in homemade marshmallow krispies. Yummy! They're my favorite.

Steve Adams said to me, "I'll be listening in on some of your calls tomorrow."
I thought, "Big deal!"
It will be the first time he has done so in five months. I only have one more year at this place. It irks me sometimes. I telephoned the PBD Jobs Hotline and there is a Directory Sales Representative opening in Los Angeles. I can't even submit for it until I finish my 'time in title'!

I did take a nap after work. Then I went ahead and hit the gym for a good hour workout.

I telephoned Eileen.
"You know Eileen; I'm not just one who loves you. I'm IN LOVE with you."
I think it caught her off-guard but when she asked me last night if I was seeing anyone else I felt a need to say it. I believe she was happy to hear it.
Eileen said, "You know, the diary I received for Christmas has officially started."
"How cool…it's about time."
She said, "And the subject is 'MICHAEL J'."
Those words made me feel good.

I did some preliminary income tax return preparation. I will get money back. I did a rough overview but I don't care. It's not complicated and I will send it in anyway. The IRS can make corrections as necessary I suppose.

I started to watch a repeat of JOAN RIVERS on the Tonight Show and then just dozed off after some fantasy thoughts and actions. I love sleeping these days. If only I could do more of it. Oh well…this coming April I will have my 'pretend poison oak' episode and get paid for some extra time off.

"To persevere through all," however, had always been his motto.
-Thomas Mann
DEATH IN VENICE