Denise K. Rago's Blog, page 22

Looking at Life Like a Novel

I discovered this while visiting one of my favorite websites, the idea of reposting old posts.  I have been going back and rereading some of them.  Sometimes, I realize how far I have come with my writing and at other times I find that a post I wrote three years ago could have been written today.   Recently, I have had some personal "challenges" come up, things that I could never have anticipated or predicted.  Not that they are awlful, it's just that sometimes I surprise myself.

You will see in my original post, that I talk about the layout of a novel.  I do write chapter outlines and then as I proceed to write, the outline changes…..just like life. It's not so neat and orderly, you know?  Anyway, enjoy my repost.

Original Post:

I am at that point in my novel where I am asking my characters, ok now what is it that you want? All conflicts have been laid out, I hope I have kept the reader riveted, and I now have to resolve all of these conflicts and ready the reader for the end. This disturbs me a little bit because life isn't really like that. If you look at your life up until now as a novel – title it whatever you wish, give yourself a chapter, say for each year of your life, and you follow writing guideslines, such as the first four chapters lay out the premise, introduce all the relevant characters, describe their problems, etc. Then you reach the middle and all conflicts are laid out – now wait a minute I am sorry but that is not like life.

New conflicts with lovers, family and friends can erupt at any time because hopefully we change and grow and if we do not stay the same, the people around appear differently to us and hopefully they can change with us. All characters just like all people do not necessarily evolve. It is a fact of life. And, who says everything gets resolved in the end. Is life like that? Did you get the chance to say goodbye to someone who dies suddenly, or what about someone who died a slow death? Were you able to tell them everything you needed to say, or better yet resolve the conflicts between you both? Sometime we just can't work things out with another person so we resolve them within ourselves. As writers we must write an ending that makes sense – yeah, I understand that but how much of our lives do not make sense? Have you ever lost some to a death so senseless that 30 years later you still don't understand the why of it? I have and if you are honest with yourself, things have happened that are forever disturbing, baffling and sad.

Sometimes there is no resolution, only acceptance.

Anyway, no matter what formulas we follow our novels can't be like real life – it just doesn't work out so neat and tidy. Maybe that is why I am struggling to write something vital and realistic yet not too formulaic. Ah, the life of a writer.

My Reading Room

I love to read. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I generally have an ever changing stack of books on my night table.  I picked up this wonderful habit in childhood and it has never left me.  I speak about the importance of reading in my interviews.   

I was warned not to read while writing, which would mean I would never compose a written word again!  Yes, books influence us and quite frankly, now that I have one book on the market I do read with a more critical eye, but I still love a good story. I feel that reading has made me a better writer and I appreciate a novel so much more, now that I know the time and talent that goes into creating a good story. 

I thought I might post a post a photo of my favorite reading place during the summer months.  It is the tiny deck off of our bedroom.  My husband says it reminds him of a secret garden.  "Your special place" he calls it and I have to agree.  I love to sit there with a glass of ice tea or at night, a glass of wine and read.  I can turn off the neighbors lawn mower, or the late afternoon  traffic up and down my street.  While in my secret place I can turn the pages of my novel and fall into the world of the words on the page. 

It is truly magical.  Where do you kick up your heels and settle in with a good book?  I would love to know.

Blood, Sweat & Tears, Revisited

Okay, so this was not my idea. I need to give credit where credit is do. I visit a handfull of websites. Recently, I met up with Evelyn Lafont, author of The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume One, Meeting & Mating. She blogs alot and her most current post titled Repeat: Indie Authors, what is your point? is the repost of an earlier post, got it?  I really liked this idea and so I went back to April of 2006 to a post I wrote about not having enough time to write, how life seems to get in the way of writing.  Sound familiar? 

Despite writing this post long before Immortal Obsession was actually published, I find I still spend hours upon hours of time sitting at my computer, starting out my window,  creating new worlds, all for the sake of a dream. 

Here is the original:

I love to write and I would do anything to just be able to write all day but reality creeps in and I find that work, family and friends takes up alot of my time. Then when I do sit down at the computer I try to put in a few hours of quality writing time. When I took ballet class and performed in recitals the formula was something crazy like 1 hour of rehearsal time for each minute of a dance piece. It could have been more hours but my point is that writing takes time and as we get older time just seems to slip by faster and faster.

I usually rough draft something out – say a chapter, then I tweak it and eventually I edit it again. I am finally tweaking Part Three of my Four Part Novel Immortal Obsession, but it takes time. I try to balance all the parts of my life. I try to cheat time and not give up too much to write but who am I kidding? No one can cheat time – maybe vampires can but not us mortals who give their blood, sweat and tears to create something of lasting value, something that may get printed and may get read.

It is a lot to hope for but I am driven to create so every time I sit at my computer I give more blood, drip more sweat and spill more tears all for the sake of a dream.

Honoring and Remembering

I cannot believe another Memorial Day Weekend is upon us. It's a time to celebrate the unofficial start of summer with grilling, beach days and family time. My husband and I have a tradition of doing a five mile run in a town on the New Jersey shore. We have done this for three years now and for me, it is not about my "time" but enjoying the experience of the day.

We also have a tradition of lining our driveway with small American Flags, something my husband does religiously every year. It is a time to remember all our service men and women who have died for our nation. I like to think about it as honoring all those who have served our country and in putting out the flags we are thanking them again.

May 30th is also the anniversary of my mother's death. Yes, it will be two years but I must say that I feel her presence more than I feel her absence. She is missed and so I thought I would post a photo taken at my surprise 40th birthday party in 1997. I don't remember who took the photo, but it is of both my mom, myself and one of my lovely brothers, Don.

I remember the day distinctly as it was probably 90 degrees with 90 percent humidity. Anyone who knows New Jersey can attest to how hot and sticky the weather can be. Thank goodness we had the arbor to shade us from the hot August sun. I was a wonderful day. One I shall never forget.

Enjoy Memorial Day, your family and the numerous "others" who continue to serve and die for our incredible country. Thank you.

YA Paranormal

I must admit I am not a YA paranormal book reader. I mean I read the Twilight series and must commend Stephanie Meyer for adding four more novels to the vampire genre. But, like I said I am not a reader of young adult novels…. well, something has changed…or is it me who is changing?  While recently in my local Barnes & Noble, I happened to pick up the novel Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater.  I must admit I loved her writing style and so I recently bought the second novel in the series, titled Linger which continues with the tale of Grace, a mortal teenager, and Sam, her werewolf boyfriend. 

I also happened to win a novel through a contest titled  'An Author A Day' on the Werevampsromance website.  I discovered the novel Crusade by Nancy Holder and Debbie Viguie, another YA novel. Again, I am really enjoying this tale of a group of young vampire hunters.

While on Facebook I discovered a novel with such a beautiful book cover I had to buy it.  Entwined by Heather Dixon looks to be an absolutely beautiful story and I imagine myself in a beautiful dress, trapped in a world not of my choosing.  Ah the power of our imaginations, not only as writers, but as readers too. 

I guess I am sharing this because as a grown women well into her fifties, I shied away from YA, assuming it was for young readers only.  It has been such a pleasant surprise to discover this world again.  I can even imagine what my gown would look like.

She's a poet and she doesn't know it

I love poetry.

Not that I am any good at it, but I love to read it.  Recently I bought she walks in beauty, selected and introducted by Caroline Kennedy. At my leisure, I can peruse this book and get my fill of good poetry.   Two of the characters from Immortal Obsession write love letters to one another and sometimes, poetry.  Josette and Christian meet in the summer of 1787.  Although their social circles bring them together, the nature of their personal circumstances keeps them a part until eventually they abandon their lovers for one another.  This decision has long reaching reprocussions for each of them….but that is another tale. 

So, I went digging through the diaries of Josette Delacore, the mortal lover of my vampire Christian Du Maure and with her permission,  I found this poem and thought I would share it with you.

I catch sideward glances of you,

your face shadowed in candlight across the room.

Do you do the same?

I believe so and my heart beats faster just knowing it.

We nod, wave and smile to one another,

Surrounded by strangers.

Who are you I ask myself.

Do you have a wife, children, a mistress?

Would you like one?

Are you as bored here as I am?

Dreaming of stolen moments.

So many questions fill my thoughts

though I try not to stare.

Yet when your dark eyes meet mine

I feel both lost yet glad to be home.

A Writing Week

Between my joyous morning commitments and mowing the lawn yesterday, I actually found the time to retreat with my laptop to the deck off of my bedroom and write.  The forecast for the entire week is sunny and warm with low humidity, my favorite type of weather.  It's just too nice to be inside on my computer.  The feeling of having a few hours to just write is one I have almost forgotten, as I continually navigate the world of the Internet to market Immortal Obsession.

Self-publishing leaves me responsible for all of my marketing, promotion, however you want to label it, which leaves me less time to work on my novels.  I was  working diligently on Blood Kiss, book two in my series, but I began to realize that this story might be best as book three and so, I began to draft the outline of book two. I am sure this outline will change as I continue writing, but I have the basic idea of the plot.  I can give you a hint: it takes place in the eighteenth century.

Writing takes time, hours of time to relax, let my mind wander and listen as my characters come to life and speak through me.  There is also the research involved in depicting a class of society and a world that no longer exists and so I turn to my numerous wonderful books to aid me.  What a beautiful gift, this lovely spring weather, my laptop and my deck. 

Savor the moments.

Measuring Success in more than just book sales

My self-published novel, Immortal Obsession has been "out" for several months now and recently, over dinner one night my husband hesitantly asked me, "so, is your book selling?"

"Well, yeah" I replied, and then proceeded to share how I am receiving postive book reviews, giving interviews on bloggers websites and doing guest posts as well while encouraging him, as I do all readers, to continue to visit my website.  I explained some of my strategies of how I get the word out to readers and reviews about both myself and my novel.  As I continued speaking I was left with something I could not explain to him, something that cannot be measured in numbers, graphs or royalties…..

In January of 2011 I discovered Everday Bright, an incredible website hosted by Jennifer Gresham who writes in her bio " I am the odd combination of PhD biochemist and award-winning poet."  I signed up for her newsletter and also chose to sign up for her Everyday Courage Challenge, thinking "what the hell."  She put together a series of challenges that help one boost their confidence and success. I visit her website weekly, respect her and innately trust her judgement.  

In early April, Jen expressed that she was so impressed with my success with the Everyday Courage series, would I be willing to let her feature my progress as a part of an upcoming blog post?  Though I was nervous, how could I say no?  So we set up a time for an over the phone interview.  It was great for me to finally speak with her. 

On April 26th, her post went live.    Titled Scared, Take Control Of Your Self-Confidence, she wrote about my journey as a part of a case study for building self- confidence.  As I read her post and saw it all in black and white I realized how much my confidence level has changed over the past few months.  I have taken more risks and more importantly, not been too invested in outcomes.  Not to say, I don't want my business to grow, but I feel that if I do my part, the universe will take care of the rest.  If my case study, assists another human being in their growth, then both Jennifer and I have done our parts.  I thank her again for believing in me and sharing how this process works with her readers. 

Has all of my risk taking been successful? Well, that depends on how you define success. 

As my husband's innocent question resonates in my brain, I am honest enough to say, yes, of course I want readers to buy my novel!  I plan to write more and I want people to enjoy each one, but there's more to what makes me feel successful than sales. Success is measured differently for each of us and for me, I have learned that opportunities come from the most unexpected people and places and I cannot predict or control the circumstances.

And for this I am eternally grateful.

My Last Gasp…continued

As her cold lips latched onto my neck and her dark hair fell around my face, I tried to fight her yet I began to feel light-headed and weak and suddenly …It is so hard to explain. I could feel my strength ebbing away from my body and yet I was looking down at the two of them. Michel looked so worried and I wondered had anyone been there for him? She reminded me of a spider, spread across my body as she kept drinking, until I no longer felt my limbs at all.

I glimpsed the silver knife as she quickly cut her arm. Michel lifted my face up to her. I watched from above as I drank the coppery liquid. At first I gagged, but then it no longer was repulsive and the more I drank the more I wanted and I felt like an animal unable to stop myself. I am not sure how much time passed but suddenly we were walking. Actually, Michel was leading me. I could barely stand I was so weak. Where were we going? I think I asked but I could not be sure if words came out.

I suddenly felt sick and I fell, retching into the snow. I gagged until I thought I would faint. Michel picked me up and though I tried to push him away, to turn back, he tossed me over his shoulder. I needed to get home. Guillaume and father would wonder where I was and I did not want to worry them.

We moved further away from my home, through the Meudon Forest.  I already felt different, lighter. I no longer felt the cold. Soon we were inside ruins of an old mansion. Michel gently put me down and I huddled in Gabrielle's arms. She stroked my hair as I fell asleep, unsure if I would wake again, and if so, what kind of monster would I be?

When I felt the darkness I remember being afraid to open my eyes. What would I find? My skin was almost translucent. My clothes were ruined, covered in blood, vomit and dirt. Michel and Gabrielle were gone and as I listened to the silence that only the nighttime can own, I remember thinking…Oh my God, I have seen my last sunrise. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed I wiped my tears, yet they were red and sticky. Blood! I was crying blood!

I tried to stand up, wondering how far I was from my home. Could I get back to my father and brother and say goodbye? I could not live with the guilt of deserting them, to leave them with the pain of my sudden disappearance, forever wondering what happened to me. I remember thinking that I would get word to them somehow. I would assuage my guilt and their pain.

How could  I know then what manner of creature I was to become, what illogical and irrational thoughts would fill my soul and that my mortal life was over, gone in a moment.   All this was confirmed as Michel and Gabrielle moved from beyond the trees, dragging a mortal woman between them.  When I smelled her blood calling to me, I lost all sensibility and lunged at her like an animal, not caring if she lived or died, as long as I was fed.

That was centuries ago: before Josette, the Revolution in Paris, Solange; before I understood the true meaning of immortality and the loneliness that accompanies this gift.  I am much older now, though I still look to be a young man of twenty.  I need much less blood to survive and yet, when I am enraged I turn to it like a long lost lover, to heal and soothe me.  Such is my existence, my plight if you will.

Interesting events in the life of this self-published author

Okay, where to start?

I was asked to participate in an on-line panel discussion at the Book Bloggers and Publishers Online Conference, running from April 13 – the 17th to share my self-publishing experience.  Although I am not a pioneer nor an expert I felt it was important to share my experience.   The objective of the session was to discuss the viability of self-publishing, who is doing it and why?   There were four of us.  The  multiple award-winning, best selling  author, Delle Jacobs, moderator Terry Kate, Senior Marketing Manager, Julia Coblentz from Barnes and Nobles' Pubit which is their self-retailing platform for e-books and me.

Terry asked poignant questions of us for the audience of book bloggers and publisher and we discussed key points, such as:

Desiging eye-catching book covers.
Blogging.
Targeting your market.
The importance of using professional editing services before publishing your book.
The issue of book reviewers not willing to review self-published novels and how that might change.

The hour we spent discussing this vast topic passed in minutes and although Delle Jacobs and I had different reasons for self-publishing I learned much from her.  If the audience left our session with a clearer sense of what is involved in the self-publishing process, then we had done our job.

The publishing field is in the midst of great change and all of us: writers, bloggers, publishers, agents and readers are smack in the middle of it.  I find this rapid change exciting yet a bit scary, sort of like grabbing onto the tail of your kite as it takes off into the atmosphere and  trying to hang on. In some ways, this kite is a metaphor for my novel/career/reputation, for as it enters the online book community I try to guide it, yet I can never be sure where it will take me…. like to the opportunity to be on this panel!

I love being a part of this community and though I have faced some difficult challenges [and more will certainly come] I would not trade the gains from my experience for anything in this world.  As I read the mission statement of the Book Bloggers and Publishers Online Conference one sentence jumped out at me:  Authors are welcome as well to get involved and help improve communication between all book lovers online, strengthening the online book community. 

In some small way I hope I was able to do just that.