My Last Gasp…continued
As her cold lips latched onto my neck and her dark hair fell around my face, I tried to fight her yet I began to feel light-headed and weak and suddenly …It is so hard to explain. I could feel my strength ebbing away from my body and yet I was looking down at the two of them. Michel looked so worried and I wondered had anyone been there for him? She reminded me of a spider, spread across my body as she kept drinking, until I no longer felt my limbs at all.
I glimpsed the silver knife as she quickly cut her arm. Michel lifted my face up to her. I watched from above as I drank the coppery liquid. At first I gagged, but then it no longer was repulsive and the more I drank the more I wanted and I felt like an animal unable to stop myself. I am not sure how much time passed but suddenly we were walking. Actually, Michel was leading me. I could barely stand I was so weak. Where were we going? I think I asked but I could not be sure if words came out.
I suddenly felt sick and I fell, retching into the snow. I gagged until I thought I would faint. Michel picked me up and though I tried to push him away, to turn back, he tossed me over his shoulder. I needed to get home. Guillaume and father would wonder where I was and I did not want to worry them.
We moved further away from my home, through the Meudon Forest. I already felt different, lighter. I no longer felt the cold. Soon we were inside ruins of an old mansion. Michel gently put me down and I huddled in Gabrielle's arms. She stroked my hair as I fell asleep, unsure if I would wake again, and if so, what kind of monster would I be?
When I felt the darkness I remember being afraid to open my eyes. What would I find? My skin was almost translucent. My clothes were ruined, covered in blood, vomit and dirt. Michel and Gabrielle were gone and as I listened to the silence that only the nighttime can own, I remember thinking…Oh my God, I have seen my last sunrise. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed I wiped my tears, yet they were red and sticky. Blood! I was crying blood!
I tried to stand up, wondering how far I was from my home. Could I get back to my father and brother and say goodbye? I could not live with the guilt of deserting them, to leave them with the pain of my sudden disappearance, forever wondering what happened to me. I remember thinking that I would get word to them somehow. I would assuage my guilt and their pain.
How could I know then what manner of creature I was to become, what illogical and irrational thoughts would fill my soul and that my mortal life was over, gone in a moment. All this was confirmed as Michel and Gabrielle moved from beyond the trees, dragging a mortal woman between them. When I smelled her blood calling to me, I lost all sensibility and lunged at her like an animal, not caring if she lived or died, as long as I was fed.
That was centuries ago: before Josette, the Revolution in Paris, Solange; before I understood the true meaning of immortality and the loneliness that accompanies this gift. I am much older now, though I still look to be a young man of twenty. I need much less blood to survive and yet, when I am enraged I turn to it like a long lost lover, to heal and soothe me. Such is my existence, my plight if you will.
