Joshua Becker's Blog, page 40

There is Nothing More Important Than Family

Much of the busyness we face in life is a result of elevated self-importance. Not all, but much.

There is certainly a requirement that we face the trials in front of us, that we provide for our families, that we help others when possible, that we parent well, and that we make the most of our days. But often times, the pursuits we busy ourselves with go beyond those expectations of living life in an intentional way.

We pile expectations and responsibilities onto ourselves not because they are required of us, but because of elevated self-importance. We believe it is essential that we are involved, that our opinion is known, or that our response is heard before things happen.

So the items we add to our “must-do list” continue to increase:

We check our email several times each day because someone might be trying to reach us.

We attend meetings because the right decision might not be reached without us.

We accept work responsibilities because nobody else can do them as well as us.

We log into social media in case there is a conversation that needs our opinion.

We check news sites frequently because it is important that we know world events as soon as they happen.

We keep our phones near our fingertips all day long so we can respond immediately when someone wants to talk or text or Slack.

We take on new business ideas or side hustles because we believe our time and talents are worth more money than we currently receive.

We rush from place to place, meeting to meeting, and commitment to commitment because we’re needed.

Or so we think.

The truth is many of the things we think we have to do on a given day are only a result of elevated self-importance. The world would get along just fine without constant involvement in every detail.

Email doesn’t need to be checked all day… we don’t need to be reachable 24 hours/day… there are other people who can do the work you do… wise decisions can be reached without you… that organization can run just fine without your volunteer hours… and there are more important things in life than making another dollar.

Even worse, this combination of busyness and elevated self-importance begin to distract us from the most important things in life.

For example, there is nothing more important than your family.

But most of the time when busyness crowds our schedule, it is our family that pays the first and greatest price.

We skip the ballgame or recital because “I’m too busy at work.”

We don’t help out in the home because “I just need to finish this one project.”

We don’t fully engage with our spouse or children because “I’m just too exhausted.” And turn to our television or cell phone instead.

We begin to believe we are too important for trivial household chores like taking out the trash… cleaning the kitchen… or reading a bedtime story.

Your most important priority, the one place you are needed most, is often the first place to suffer when we believe we are more important than we actually are.

But every year, the holiday season provides us with new opportunity. During this heightened season of family and awareness, we can slow down and reset. We can choose to slow down, to embrace more opportunities to be with family, and straighten out our priorities once again.

This holiday season, remind yourself constantly, “There is nothing more important than my family.”

When you are tempted to check email in the evening, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”

When you are tempted to work late, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”

When you want to check your phone during the Christmas recital, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”

When you begin to think you are too important for a relaxing Saturday morning with your kids, say to yourself, “There is nothing more important than my family.”

Your job is not more important than your family. Your paycheck is not more important than your family. Your social media account is not more important than your family.

You are important… to the people closest to you.

And if there was ever a season of the year to remember that fact, this is it.

5 Things to Do Before You Declutter

This is a guest post from Rachelle Crawford of Abundant Life With Less.

I love to travel. Whether it’s a weekend up north, road trip across the country or transcontinental adventure, when given the opportunity to take a trip… I’m in. A few years back, we headed up north with a group of friends to spend the weekend at a family cottage. 

With my friend working remotely from the passenger’s seat and my husband in the backseat doing the same, I was in charge of getting us there. I had the steering wheel in one hand and Cheez-Its in the other; life was good. 

Well over an hour into our trip, my husband glanced up from his phone and abruptly said, “69 East? Why are we on 69 East? We were supposed to get on 127 North.” 

While we were headed to Lake Michigan on the west coast, I managed to land us within minutes of the Canadian border on the East coast. Now, the Canadians I know are quite delightful, however, that’s not where we were headed. When it was all said and done, I had turned a two-and-a-half-hour road trip into almost six hours of travel! 

I was so eager to get us where we were going, that I didn’t take the time to assess the path I was headed on. 

We tend to do the same thing when decluttering our homes. We find minimalism and set out in hot pursuit of “less is more” without first establishing a doable route and the firm foundation to help hold it all together.

Believe me, I get it. Five years ago, I went minimalist on a whim, headed directly home and gutted my closet. I couldn’t get that stuff out of my home fast enough. There was no time to pause and reflect because I was on a mission to take back my home from the infestation of stuff. 

However, as the dust settled, I found myself ill-equipped to maintain what I’d worked so hard to create. Preoccupied with anticipation and hope, I’d missed some important first steps. Steps that when taken, make the rest of the journey just a little easier.

Here are 5 Steps to Take Prior to Decluttering Your Home:

1. Set Realistic Expectations

When I first went minimalist, I set high, unattainable expectations for myself and my home. I tend to be more of a messy, disorganized individual who birthed three children cut from the same cloth. How I thought minimalism was going to turn me into Marie Kondo overnight is beyond me, but I did.

Long story short, it did not. Instead, I simply traded the suffocating overwhelm of too much stuff for the impossible task of maintaining a picture-perfect minimalist home. 

Becoming a minimalist isn’t a charge to become someone else altogether. It’s the practice of unearthing who it is you were made to be beneath the mounds of clutter and call to keep up. 

The items you declutter, the pace at which you move, and how your home looks in the end, should be unique to you. Acknowledge the season of life you’re in and give yourself the grace to declutter at a pace that fits. 

2. Initiate a Spending Freeze

Oftentimes, we’re so eager to start getting rid of stuff that we don’t pause and evaluate how it all got there in the first place. You can declutter and declutter and declutter, but you’ll never create a clutter free home if you don’t change the way you’re bringing stuff in. 

I highly recommend beginning with a spending freeze. 

As you work to declutter your home, halt any and all unnecessary purchases. Not forever, but long enough to clear the slate and create new spending habits going forward. To avoid decluttering again and again, you’ve got to stop allowing unnecessary items into your home from the start. 

3. Choose a Donation Location That Aligns with Your Heart

A couple years ago, my sister’s friend’s home caught fire. Thankfully everyone exited safely, but all of their belongings were lost. My sister called me to share a list of items the family needed replaced.

Immediately, I sprang into action, wandering around my home grabbing everything I could spare. I didn’t hem and haw about whether I would one day need this item because I knew of someone who needed it today. 

When decluttering our homes, it’s far easier to let go when you know someone or some place that could use your excess stuff. It could be a refugee center, homeless shelter, school, library, church, domestic violence safe haven, pregnancy service center or simply your neighbor who just had a baby. 

Harness the power of generosity to let go of even more, by choosing donation locations that align with your heart. 

4. Adopt a Minimalist Mindset

We can approach decluttering our homes one of two ways: As a short-term fix or a lifelong behavior change. You can either use it as a means to reorganize your stuff, or you can let it lead to a permanent change in your relationship with material possessions. 

A minimalist mindset involves becoming a more conscious consumer, emphasizing quality over quantity, and experiences over things. With it we can shake off the shackles of comparison, keeping up with the Jones’ and staying on trend. Not in exchange for a dull life, but a purposeful one.

5. Find a Decluttering Comrade 

Everything is easier with a friend by your side. Just as you should never swim without someone keeping an eye out for you, neither should you wade through your clutter without a comrade to keep you company. 

Now, not everyone is lucky enough to have a lifelong friend turn minimalist with them. Many of my local friends still think I’m nuts. Most of my closest “minimalist” friends came from the internet. Kids don’t try this at home.

If you’re able to get a local friend to join you on this journey, fantastic. But if not, take heart. There are Facebook communities and Instagram accounts packed with people headed in the same direction as you. 

Can you declutter your home without a solid plan and firm foundation? Sure. You can certainly take the scenic route and still get where you’re going. That’s exactly what I did. 

However, my hope is that my detour will help you avoid your own, so you don’t unwittingly find yourself face-to-face with border patrol.

***

Rachelle Crawford is the author of Messy Minimalism: Realistic Strategies for the Rest of Us, available tomorrow. It is witty and wise. She also blogs at Abundant Life With Less where she documents and shares their major course change as a family into minimalism. You’ll love following her on Instagram.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

My desire with each Weekend Reads is to provide you with articles and posts that encourage simplicity and minimalist living. Below, you will find links to blog posts and news stories that I hand-picked over the last couple weeks. I hope you find inspiration and practical help inside them.

But also, if you get a chance, share these posts with others via social media. With our efforts united, not only will each of us be inspired to own less and live more, but the life-giving message of minimalism will spread further and quicker, deeper and with greater effectiveness.

And that is my goal on Becoming Minimalist: to intentionally promote simplicity in a world that needs to hear it.

You Do Not Need to Be Extraordinary to Be Happy | Medium by Tavian Jean-Pierre. “From my own experience, I can tell you that the pursuit of an extraordinary life is tiring. And unfortunately, it does not guarantee a life of happiness at the end of it.”

Are All the Holiday Deals Worth It? | Happy Simple Mom by Brooke. “Now, looking back, when money isn’t as tight and my kids are old enough to be watching and creating traditions, I see the foolishness in my actions.”  

Minimalism 101: 24 Things You Can Get Rid of Without Ever Missing | American Lifestyle. Establishing order within the outer influences of your life will allow you to return to a state of inner calm.

Man Embraces Minimalism and Cuts Down His Possessions to Just 44 Things | Metro by Ellen Scott. Inspired by documentaries and books on simpler living, he started off by cutting his possessions in half, by getting rid of anything he hadn’t used in the past six months.

99 Clutter-Free Gift Ideas | Becoming Minimalist. Seems like an appropriate time of year to list these ideas once again.

9 Things That Shopping Can Never Deliver | Becoming Minimalist on YouTube

Minimalism Can Change the World

One Day. A Lifetime of Hope. Giving Tuesday.

Think back on the most significant days of your life: Your college graduation. Your wedding day. The birth of a child.

In both good ways and bad ways, one day can alter the course of a life.

I want to share a story with you today—a story of how minimalism and this community changed the life of a beautiful boy on one important day.

JJ’s Story

JJ was born in January 2020 and immediately abandoned at a hospital in Hermosillo, Mexico.

Shortly after, he was placed into an orphanage when he was just four days old. The first several months of his life, which are so critical to development, were right at the start of the COVID-19 pandemic in Mexico and around the world.

Just as JJ was becoming more aware of the world around him, the staff at the orphanage began to wear masks during their entire shift.

This means that during the first year and a half of JJ’s life, he never saw a facial expression—they were all covered by masks. For the first 18 months of his life, he never saw a loving smile from his caregivers.

His primary method for learning to show emotions—seeing and mimicking expressions from adults—was nonexistent.

Had JJ remained in the orphanage, his emotional and psychological development would have continued to be at risk. But his life was changed one significant day—thanks to a family that had their life changed by minimalism.

Last year The Hope Effect, founded here by the Becoming Minimalist community, became the first nonprofit organization to receive government approval to provide family-style care in the state of Sonora. And a few months ago, JJ was placed into loving family-style care… and his life changed forever.

I’ll let Moises and Hansel share their own story:

A Lifetime of Hope – JJ’s Story from The Hope Effect on Vimeo.

M

What a beautiful family! I cannot begin to express how much joy this story brings to my heart. Minimalism provides the opportunity to change your life, yes. But it also provides the opportunity to change the world if you allow it.

I’m so thankful that because of the love of Moises and Hansel, members of our community, JJ is happy, joyful, and thriving.

The Hope Effect

If you are new to Becoming Minimalist, some backstory might be helpful.

A few years ago, with amazing support from this blog, we launched a nonprofit organization called The Hope Effect. The mission of The Hope Effect is to change the way the world cares for orphans.

Millions of children around the world grow up without parents—and the problem is only growing. In fact, according to recent statistics, another child is orphaned every 12 seconds as a result of the global pandemic.

In many developing countries, orphans are raised in institutional care (think orphanages with lots of children and few caregivers), which has damaging long-term effects on children. When children grow up in orphanages, they don’t receive the love and personal interaction found within the structure of a family.

As a result, development is stunted and learning abilities are delayed—or lost altogether. Children raised in orphanages often don’t know how to show or recognize emotion and have trouble bonding with others. Many children age out of orphanages only to face a future of crime, prostitution, or trafficking. The studies clearly show this.

We know there’s a better way. Because every child deserves a family.

The Hope Effect is working to change the way the world cares for orphans by providing loving family-style care around the world.

Currently, we’re pioneering and expanding this innovative model of orphan care in several locations: Mexico, Honduras, and Thailand. In family-style care, children receive the individual attention and support they need while also learning what it means to be part of a stable, loving family.

And across the globe, children are growing and thriving through the love of a family. Children like JJ* have hope for a brighter future.

One Day. A Lifetime of Hope. Giving Tuesday.

But this story doesn’t need to end with Moises and Hansel.

YOU have the opportunity to make this very day a life-changing day for someone else. YOU can change the life of an orphaned or vulnerable child. YOU can help a child find a loving family.

If minimalism has freed up your resources to make a difference in the world, today is Giving Tuesday, a day where people all over the world come together for a global celebration of generosity.

If you want to make a difference in the lives of more children like JJ, I’d love for you to make this the year you get involved by joining us for Giving Tuesday.

If you partner with us today, you will give a lifetime of hope to orphaned children around the world. Our goal is to raise $100,000 today to further expand family-style care in Mexico, Honduras, and Thailand. Your gift will help more orphaned and vulnerable children find families and the love they deserve.

In fact, today, your gift will be doubled. A generous team of supporters is matching every donation dollar for dollar, up to $50,000!

The Hope Effect is a 501(c)(3) organization, so your donation is tax-deductible within the U.S. If you have additional questions about The Hope Effect or our work, send us an email. We love to share our passion for helping kids and we’d be happy to chat with anyone who would like to learn more.

Thank you so much for supporting The Hope Effect over the last several years. You have given a lifetime of hope to so many children. Together, we are changing the way the world cares for orphans.

—

To make this day even more fun, I am going to be hanging out live for an hour this evening chatting about The Hope Effect and answering any questions you might have directly. The live event is happening at 9pm ET / 6pm PT and you can RSVP to join me for free right here: Hope Effect Giving Tuesday Hangout Live

I’ll share some updates on Giving Tuesday, answer any specific questions you want to ask about The Hope Effect, and give away some copies of my new book, Things That Matter. Short notice, but if you’re free tonight, it would be fun to see you.

—

*The child’s name has been changed to protect his privacy.

You Already Have Enough. Let It Change Your Life.

Thanksgiving is a beautiful holiday here in the US.

It’s a day for family and friends to gather, all centered around one big meal. Traditionally, the meal consists of turkey and potatoes, stuffing and green beans, and dessert like pumpkin or apple pie. But everyone celebrates a little bit differently.

It’s wonderful—my wife’s favorite meal of the year in fact.

The Thanksgiving Day preparation is an entire routine and ritual that, at times, can look a little hectic. At least it does in our home. There is a lot of work that goes into preparing the meal.

Often, both the women and men are scurrying about cooking and helping. As the kids get older, they might begin to help as well. Lots of cooks in the kitchen.

There are decisions to be made about what goes into the oven at just the right time, where to put things on the counter while they’re waiting, and if the table is getting set just right.

Plus, everyone is hungry the entire time because you’re saving space for the meal.

Everyone eventually sits down and the table is filled with dishes, like a full buffet.

In our family, we pray. And then, you eat.

Immediately, there’s a big rush of controlled chaos—people gathering food and filling their plates.

You grab your turkey and potatoes and stuffing and gravy. You start to wonder if the green beans are ever going to get passed your direction. You notice that the little kids are taking all the bread rolls and you might start to worry if there will be enough once the plate reaches you.

Where did the salt and pepper go? Did I get enough butter? And am I going to have room on this plate for the cranberries?

But eventually, you eat.

And there inevitably comes a point in the meal where you begin to feel full. You’ve eaten enough, and suddenly, you don’t need (or even want) any more food.

Instead, you lean back in your chair, content.

You’ve had enough.

Suddenly, everything changes. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing at the table.

It doesn’t matter that the little ones are taking the last of the rolls. It doesn’t matter where the butter is, or the salt and pepper. It doesn’t matter that your cousin is going back for a third helping of the stuffing, or that someone else just took the last of the dark meat.

None of that matters anymore. You’ve had enough.

Regardless of the options in front of you, regardless of what everyone else is chasing and consuming, you don’t feel the need to do so. It’s a wonderful feeling of contentment.

That is the promise of enough. Once you have attained it, you begin to see everything differently.

—

Consider how this feeling of enough might change our lives in other areas:

What if we realized that we already have enough physical possessions?

What would happen if we looked into our closets and fully noticed that we owned enough clothes? Or that our house was big enough? That we had enough decorations, furniture, tools, or cars?

What if we fully believed that we already have enough stuff?

Suddenly, we would begin to see everything around us differently. It wouldn’t matter what other people are chasing or accumulating or buying.

It wouldn’t matter that my neighbor is buying another car, I already have enough.

It wouldn’t matter that there’s a new sale at Kohl’s, I have enough.

It wouldn’t matter that today is Black Friday, I have enough.

It wouldn’t matter that Christmas is coming and someone else might get more gifts than me, I have enough.

And it wouldn’t matter that the magazines tell me my clothes are out of style or the newest tech gadget has more camera pixels than ever before, I have enough.

This is a realization that would change everything about us. We could fully remove ourselves from the consumerism that dominates so many peoples’ lives.

It would free up money, time, space, and energy for the things in life that really matter.

It’s an unbelievably freeing feeling to discover that you already have enough in your life.

—

There are, of course, many people in the world who do not have enough. But even those who do, rarely recognize it.

This is because we live in a world that shouts to us constantly that we don’t have enough. We are being sold more and more every day. They are constantly placing more dishes on the table, convincing us that we haven’t eaten enough yet, encouraging us to war against our neighbors to be the one with the fullest plate of food.

But as Maya Angelou once said, “We need much less than we think we need.”

And once we can look around and realize that we do indeed have enough, our lives begin to change in beautiful ways.

The Ultimate Guide To A No-Buy Year

It’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of consumerism.

Shopping and errands lead to more shopping and errands.

Before you know it, your quest to live a more intentional life is drowned out by stuff.

One possible solution is the No-Buy Year, also known as a No-Spend Year: a whole year dedicated to cutting out extraneous purchases in order to reset your spending habits.

With the new year approaching, it’s the perfect time to think about adopting a no-buy year challenge.

Let me offer you the benefits of a no-buy year, the challenge rules, and necessary preparation. Plus, eight examples of people who attempted a no-spend year just to encourage you.

The Benefits of a No-Buy Year

Limit Purchases To Save Money

By spending less on nonessential items, you will save money. In the examples below, many were able to pay off debt during their no-spend challenge.

Whether your savings goes into a bank or retirement account, or if you choose to re-allocate money for a meaningful vacation, charity, or experience, the money saved on smaller purchases will accumulate quickly. 

The no-buy year will put your spending habits and budget under a microscope, both during the challenge and in the future.

A No-Buy Year is Environmentally Friendly

When we consume products, we place a higher demand on manufacturing and logistics. Reduce the amount of things you purchase, and your household will automatically live a life better for the environment.

A limit put on personal care products, for example, may persuade you to use up what you already have before you’re “allowed” to buy another product. This results in less waste and fewer trips to the store.

Reset Consumerist Tendencies During a No-Buy Year

Much like fasting (abstaining from eating food for a specific duration), a no-buy year will help to clear your mind from impulse purchases and the automatic tendency to shop or browse.

Fasting from anything reintroduces a better perspective.

More Time for Other Endeavors

As a result of a no-buy year, you’ll lighten emotional burdens and you will have more time and energy to focus on other things.

If you’re looking to tackle a no-buy year to help you in a journey to minimalism, you’ll be able to spend more time decluttering (instead of shopping). More time will be spent on re-assessing purchases, which can trickle down into re-assessing the items you already own.

Also, living with less enables an energy shift so you can contribute to your chosen mission: the thing that provides us with the most fulfillment and happiness.

The benefits of a no-buy year are obviously significant. But how can we accomplish such a challenge:

Set Your Goal for Your No-Buy Year

Like minimalism, the reasons behind consuming and owning less are different for everyone. Your experience will be vastly different from someone else’s.

To start, determine your goals.

Are you spending less in order to save money?Are you limiting shopping to stop the power that consumerism holds?Are you prioritizing using what you already have so you can cut down on clutter?Or something else?

These goals are vastly different. Some are financially focused. Others are more emotional.

By naming your goals first, it will help you determine your list of rules effectively.

The Rules of a No-Buy Year

Despite its name, “No-Buy” doesn’t mean “don’t buy anything.”

In fact, “rules” should be used loosely as well.

A no-buy year is what you make it. The experience is different for everyone, because it depends on your overall goals.

To determine your rules, first write a list of approved purchases. These may include things like:

FoodConsumable goodsReplacement itemsExperiences or vacationsEtc.

Second, write down a list of things you’ll abstain from buying. Some examples:

GiftsClothing and decorBooksOnline coursesDining out

Remember, you are in charge. Set your own rules, and you’ll have a customized plan to make the most out of your experience.

How to Prepare for a No-Buy Year

After you set your goals and chose your rules to help you accomplish your goals, there are a few things you can do to prepare financially, mentally, and physically.

Start a List For Purchases

Even though you set out to buy nothing, things will come up. By documenting your purchases, you’ll be able to see clearly where your experiment needed to account for exceptions.

Some things you may want to keep track of are:

Date of purchaseName of store or online supplierReason for purchaseWhether or not this purchase broke your “rules”

A spreadsheet or a handwritten list will be fine. Almost everybody, at the end of the year, will point to their list of a few times they slipped up.

Think About How You’ll Spend Your Time

A no-buy year requires some mental preparation.

One of the benefits of a spend-free year is that you’ll have more time to focus on other matters.

If you’re unprepared for these new blocks of time, it will be easy to slip into old shopping habits out of boredom. Or, you may fall into other unhealthy habits.

Will you declutter your home? Will you focus on self-improvement? Will you pick up a new hobby? Will you reconnect with old friends?

Setting goals for other areas of your life will help you stay committed to your no-buy year.

Start Small With A No-Spend Month

You don’t have to commit to 365 days of no shopping from the start. 

With any new habit, it’s best to ease into it in order to see success.

2022 is around the corner, but that doesn’t mean your no-buy year has to start on January 1st. You can start with a no-spend month, and then start your no-buy year whenever you’re ready.

Below are several examples of people who took on the challenge of a no-buy year. Their stories can help inspire you to see what approach will work best.

8 No-Buy Year Examples

The Happy Philosopher: No Clothes For One Year Turned Into a Complete No-Buy Year

The Happy Philosopher realized in January 2018 that important moments were being squashed by consumerism.

For him, the “experiment was about getting rid of one more distraction (shopping), about discomfort, about fear. It was about doing something just to see if he could do it. It was about consuming less and throwing away less.” He was looking for a simple and uncomplicated life.

His no-buy year rules included things like:

Consumables like personal goods, household products, and of course food, are ok to purchase.Eating at restaurants is ok.He will prioritize maintaining or repairing what he already owns.Replacement items, experiences, travel, and necessary repairs are allowed.Gifts, greeting cards, and stuff in general are banned.His wife isn’t allowed to make purchases for him.

Throughout the year, The Happy Philosopher made a few necessary purchases, but gave up. He said he “learned what he needed to know” and decided to move on.

Aimee Rebecca: A No-Buy 2020 Challenge

Aimee made a lot of personal changes, like reading self-help books, becoming vegetarian, shopping less, and meditating. However, she admitted, “I still feel like I’m trapped in the quicksand of consumerism,” and decided to adopt a no-spend year for her 2020 New Year’s Resolution.

Her rules included restricting normal “stuff” purchases like clothes, decor, and books. Other items were limited, like takeout, beauty products, and alcoholic drinks.

Halfway through the year, she realized she had already saved a lot of money and used up hundreds of dollars worth of products she already owned.

She made an important discovery: “Before you go out and buy something, try to borrow it or get it for free first.”

TEDx: Lucia Gonzales Schuett

Lucia Gonzales Schuett shared the details of her year without buying on the TEDx stage. She started because she came from a childhood of abundance, and then found herself in a career in fast fashion, and knew something needed to change.

In 2018, she decided only to buy food in her no-buy year.

She missed shopping as a means of entertainment. She missed the pleasure of opening a new product for the very first time. 

However, she found joy in reusing old items or making the most out of free product samples. Decluttering and donating became a rewarding activity.

By the time Black Friday came, she found she didn’t desire anything that was advertised to her. She prioritized repairing clothes, shoes, and household appliances, and borrowing once-in-a-while items from neighbors.

Lucia’s no-buy year was insightful and rewarding. She uncovered new physical space, and saved time and money. And most importantly, she refocused her energy toward things that really matter.

Dr. McFrugal Accepted The No-Buy Challenge

In response to The Happy Philosopher’s year-long experiment, Dr. McFrugal joined the challenge in 2019. Even though him and his wife were already frugal and minimalist, they knew they could improve.

His reasoning? “Our primary motivation is to reduce the mindless consumption, destruction, and waste that our linear economy unfortunately creates. We want to inspire others to be more mindful, live more simply, contribute to a more circular economy, realize the benefits of minimalism, be less wasteful, and consume more consciously. In essence, we want to make the world a better place.”

Dr. McFrugal carefully documented each month on his blog. Throughout the year, he shared purchases he made, most of which were covered by exceptions to his rules, including a new car, a new bed, and some baby items.

As the year progressed, he notes how much they decluttered and how they got by during some months not buying items for their newborn.

In his wrap-up post, Dr. McFrugal says, “Overall, my wife and I didn’t buy a whole lot. The buy nothing challenge wasn’t particularly hard for us. Frugality and saving money is sort of fun (for us).” He was appreciative of the challenge because it caused them to become even more conscious in their spending.

Lara Joanna Jarvis’s No Spend Year Changed Her Life

YouTuber Lara Joanna Jarvis shared her 2019 no-buy journey with her subscribers, and in her summary, she talks about how the experience changed her life.

As a result, Lara is now:

Financially free,Saving for her dream home,In control of her finances,Conscious of her consumerism,Aware of her impact on sustainability,More in tune with her emotions, and isAble to share her new knowledge with her children.

Hannah Louise Poston is a Recovering Shopping Addict

Hannah Louise Poston is another YouTuber who participated in a no-buy year in 2018. As a luxury makeup and skincare fan, a lot changed for her during her entire journey:

Her sense of value: she now pays attention to the repercussions of products she buys.Budgeting: she budgets for her favorite items instead of shopping without thinking.Finances: Hannah stopped using a credit card (and paid hers off in the 9th month of her no-buy year).Identity: Her identity detached from her belongings and her compulsive consumerism, and she is more in touch with her emotions.Shopping: She no longer shops with the frantic energy she was used to.Her no-buy year brought her contentment and self-acceptance.

The Personal Philosophy Project Has a Renewed Sense of Self-Worth

YouTuber Cinzia Dubois cut out a lot of “stuff” in her 2019 no-buy year, including takeout coffee and alcohol.

In her summary video, she says, “After 12 months, my life has totally transformed for the better and I still cannot believe how this casual challenge turned into such a huge life-changing experience for me. Not only have I overcome my shopping-addiction, but I’ve developed a new, healthy relationship with money, consumerism and self-worth.”

One Empty Shelf Did a Buy Nothing 2015

The idea isn’t entirely new, Sal of One Empty Shelf did a buy-nothing year in 2015. She experienced struggles, especially working in retail.

As her no-buy year progressed, she decided to relax her rules to allow necessary purchases without feeling bad.

Even on choosing to change her approach, Sal said:

“I wouldn’t look back on it as a failure. In fact, I feel like I’ve grown and changed more than any other year. I learned more, experienced more, and appreciate what I’ve got at a whole new level. I loved the freedom from consumerism of the first months, and am hoping to carry that forward on a smaller scale.”

A No-Buy Year Is Always Beneficial

Everyone’s experience with a no-buy year is different.

Even if you believe you’ve failed, I urge you to reconsider.

As outlined in the examples above, a no-buy year can:

Change your relationship to shopping.Allow you to be more conscious of your choices.Give you a sense of personal growth.

As Sal said, “Don’t look upon it as a success/failure thing. Just view it as an adventure, as an experiment, and treasure the knowledge you gain as a result.”

You’ve got literally nothing to lose.

Join The No-Buy Movement

There is value in discipline.

Participate in a no-buy challenge for a length of time that you determine.

You can abstain from anything using my fasting guidelines:

Choose the influence to remove. Here, you would outline your own rules and approved purchases for your no-buy challenge.Choose a period of time for your experience. Attempt a day, a week, a month, or a year. The choice is yours.Make arrangements. Prepare adequately for your no-buy challenge.Embrace the discipline. Expect the beginning to be difficult.Find meaning in defeat. Don’t lose heart if you give in during your experiment. Examine your failure, and try again.Re-enter slowly. Reintroduce purchases into your life deliberately. Keep in mind the knowledge you gained during your process.

Give it some thought. You might be surprised how much you learn.

Ten 5-Minute Money Actions to Help Your Finances

You’re not going to change your entire financial situation in one afternoon. Making changes in how you spend, save, earn, and give takes time and discipline.

But you can make small positive changes in just a few minutes. And those small changes pile up—especially when we do them repeatedly. Your first step in the right direction doesn’t need to be a big one.

If you want to change your financial circumstances, here are ten quick actions I encourage you to take today.

Ten 5-Minute Money Actions to Help Your Finances Today

1. Invest $50 in the Stock Market.

When I was younger, investing in the stock market was complicated. You needed a bunch of money, a stockbroker, and it cost a lot.

But now, with apps such as RobinHood, anybody can invest in the stock market, instantly, for free, with as little as $1. In fact, if you sign up through my link above, you can get a free stock just for signing up!

It’s become so easy to invest in stocks, I now encourage people who are struggling to save money, to buy stocks rather than open a Savings account. It’s more fun and exciting to watch your money grow in the market than a bank, and the interest earned tends to motivate people to save more.

Find $50 to deposit into RobinHood. If you don’t know much about investing, just buy $50 worth of the index fund VOO which tracks the S&P 500 index. Or, if you want to risk for higher returns, subscribe to Pete Nikolai’s Leveraged Momentum System (that’s what I do).

2. Open Your Most Recent Credit Card Statement.

I don’t know if you regularly read your credit card statement each month. Maybe you just pay the bill, or your spouse/partner handles sending in the payment.

Either way, take five minutes to log in to your credit card account and manually review your statement for the last two months. You may be surprised at the charges listed.

I did this just last week (in preparation for this article) and immediately found 3 recurring charges that I hadn’t cancelled previously.

3. Unsubscribe From Email Newsletters.

Email newsletters from retailers and companies are designed for virtually one purpose: to sell you something.

Take five minutes in your inbox to unsubscribe from the worst offenders. You may believe five minutes won’t make a difference, and to some extent you are correct, you likely won’t be able to unsubscribe from every retail newsletter in that time frame.

But it can make a dent. And another five minutes tomorrow, and the day after, will definitely result in an inbox that is less inclined to persuade you to spend.

4. Sell Something on FB Marketplace.

Locate one large item in your home that you can put up for sale for $25 or more. Take a picture, and post it for pick-up on your local Facebook Marketplace or neighborhood community app.

You might be surprised how quickly you can turn clutter into cash. If your first item doesn’t sell, don’t give it up. Just try something else. You’ll free up space in your home and add dollars to your bank account.

5. Run your Amazon Order History Report for the Last Year.

Here’s how to do that.

You may be surprised to see, all in one place, how many of your hard-earned dollars are being shipped to Amazon. Most people, after running their report, are shocked to see how much they spend on Amazon during a year.

6. Empty Cart on Amazon.

If you’re anything like a lot of families, your Amazon cart may have a few unordered items sitting inside it. Items were added that were of interest to you (or someone else in the family) and haven’t been ordered yet.

Do yourself a favor, go empty it.

What if you forget what was in there? That’s the point. If you didn’t need the item yesterday, you won’t need it tomorrow.

7.  Pay $100 on your Highest Rate Debt.

There are plenty of different strategies for getting out of debt: pay off your highest interest debts first: pay off your smallest loans first; consolidate your loans; pay double your minimum payment; just to name a few.

Of course, the most important thing is to actually get started.

To do that, send $100 to your highest interest rate debt, right now. Your credit card, your car loan, or something else… don’t think twice, just send $100 to begin paying it down. See how it makes you feel to take that step.

I understand if you’re at the end of a pay period, you may need to wait until the next one. But as soon as you can, send the $100. Rather than spending it on unnecessary things, it will be out of your hands and already used to pay down debt.

As Albert Einstein once said,“Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Those who understand it, earn it… those who don’t, pay it.“

8. Cancel One Subscription.

The average consumer spends over $3,000/year on subscription services—more than twice what they think they spend. In one survey, 89% of respondents underestimated how much money they spent on subscriptions services every month.

Cancel one or more:

Which streaming service do you watch the least? Cancel it.Which magazine do you rarely read? Cancel it.Not keeping up with your audio book subscription? Cancel it.Which streaming music platform do you use the least? Cancel it.Got a cell phone? Cancel your landline.Meal services, subscription boxes, gaming platforms, apps. Find one to cancel.

9. Pack a Lunch For Tomorrow.

If you’re used to eating out every day at work, packing a lunch may seem a little unexciting. But it’s an important lifestyle change that you can make to better control your finances.

The cost of convenience adds up quickly.

Take your lunch to work tomorrow and save the money. You could also brew your own coffee (though I’d suggest waiting for the morning to do that).

10. Decide to Spend No Money Next Week.

Granted, actually going 7 days without spending takes longer than 5 minutes, but you can make that decision in less than 5 minutes.

I don’t think deciding on a whim to go one week without spending money is too extreme—you’ve probably got enough food in your fridge and pantry to last that long. But if it sounds too difficult, try the weekend or the weekdays instead. It will require some mindset changes, no doubt, but some people go an entire year without buying anything. Make it fun and a personal challenge.

Incremental small changes eventually amount to big changes. I didn’t write this list as all the exhaustive steps you need to take to get ahead financially. Like I mentioned, that takes more time and effort than 5 minutes.

However, each of these steps can be taken right now, before even putting down your phone or closing your computer. Go back through the list and pick one or two to complete. You’ll be glad you did.

Sometimes Life Requires Heavy Lifting

The other day I went for a walk. While walking, I noticed a line of ants crossing the sidewalk in front of me. I stopped to watch.

There were hundreds of them. All in a single line walking from one side of the sidewalk to the other. I don’t know where they were going or where they started, but they seemed to be walking with a purpose.

As I was watching, I noticed one ant carrying a leaf. And then I noticed another. And then another.

The ants carrying the leaves were walking the same direction, and seemed to be keeping up, but the longer I watched, the more I noticed they were walking a little slower than the others.

I don’t know much about ants and I have no idea how they decided which ants have to carry leaves and which got to walk unencumbered.

All I noticed was that some ants were walking peacefully while others were carrying a heavy burden.

And it reminded me a little bit about life.

Sometimes we walk peacefully. But other times, life requires heavy lifting.

There are some seasons in life where the path is easy and the burdens are light. Health is good, money is in the bank, relationships are healthy, and our habits are serving us.

But there are other seasons where the burden is heavy. Our kids are making unwise choices, employment is hard to find, our physical body is failing, our closest relationships are turning against us, bad news continues to mount with no end in sight.

We look around and everyone else seems to be fine, unencumbered, enjoying their path through life, celebrating successes. But we’re stuck carrying this heavy leaf. We’re trying our hardest to keep up, but the burden of this season is heavy, and we feel like we’re falling behind.

Meanwhile, nobody seems to notice.

I wish I had the words to take it all away for you. But I do not. There are helpful steps to take certainly: talk to someone who has experienced what you are experiencing, rely on others, accept help when offered, remove competing distractions, remember that seasons change, and turn to your faith are such examples. But those words only do so much good.

Instead, I’d like to challenge everyone else—those of you rushing swiftly, from one point to another unburdened, without a leaf.

Take time to notice those with heavy burdens.

There is a temptation when our burden is light to not notice the heavy lifting being done by others. Or to assume that we have somehow accomplished something impressive on our own. But many times, those with the heaviest burdens are the ones serving society the greatest.

As the old adage goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

Today, and even more as we enter the holiday season, look closer at your fellow travelers. And let’s be quick to offer a kind word, a helping hand, or a meaningful gift. Some have been carrying that leaf quite a distance.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

I invite you to fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

Can Minimalism Really Make You Happier? | Psychology Today by Mark Travers Ph.D. To better understand the connection between minimalism and happiness, Hook and his team scoured the research literature for all studies published on the topic.

How to Buy Nothing New This Holiday Gifting Season | The New York Times by Annaliese Griffin. Global supply-chain problems might cause shortages of the season’s “it” toys or tech gadgets, but they do not have to ruin the holidays.

*Depending on your frequency of use, The New York Times may require a subscription.

How I’m Goaling Myself to Be Some Level of Minimalist in 2022 | Soulcentric Woman by Valerie Fields. The Pandemic revealed a lot of things to me, showed me where I was, what really mattered and had me questioning whether I needed all the things I possess. I. DO. NOT.

How to Get Organized at Home When You Have ADHD or Mental Health Issues | The Washington Post by Amanda Long. The premise that one’s space reflects one’s mental health can be particularly defeating if you’re already in a bad place mentally or physically.

*Depending on your frequency of use, The Washington Post may require a subscription.

Through the Lenses of Gratitude | No Sidebar by Karen Trefzger. Given the very real benefits of practicing gratitude, why do we so often struggle to develop this habit?

9 Ways Generous People See the World Differently | Joshua Becker on YouTube

If There Was Ever a Year to Give Experiences for Christmas Rather Than Physical Possessions, This is the Year.

Inflation. Supply chain issues. Delayed mail.

If there was ever a year to start giving experiences for Christmas rather than physical possessions, this is the year.

A few years ago, my friend and his family of six started a new holiday tradition.

“Rather than spending money on a bunch of stuff we don’t need, we started a new Christmas tradition. Every day of the week after Christmas until New Year’s, we did something fun as a family.

Sometimes it was simple: pizza and a movie. Other days, it was more extravagant: horse-back riding. But we took the money that would have been spent on physical gifts and spread it out over the week making sure everyone got to do something they’d really love.”

After the holiday season I asked him how it went.

He replied with a smile on his face, “Best decision we ever made. A new family tradition has been born. We’re already looking forward to next year.”

When we found minimalism twelve years ago, we also decided to change how we celebrated the holiday season limiting our children’s gifts to three: one thing they need, one thing they want, and one experience to share with the family.

To celebrate holidays differently, you need to make the decision to do so.

And if there was ever a year to try out a change, this is the one. 

– News reports are already surfacing that this holiday season may be filled with increased challenges and frustrations.

– Inflation is reaching levels we haven’t seen in decades.

– Millions of people have just lost pandemic-era unemployment benefits.

– Meanwhile, COVID cases continue to increase in many places around the world.

An important phenomenon took place in 2020. People began spending more on goods and less on services. As a percentage of personal spending, nonconsumable goods increased 6% in 2020 while services fell by 7% with some sectors falling 20-30% (recreation, travel, food).

All that to say, in 2020, most Americans spent the year purchasing more and more physical possessions and fewer and fewer services.

If our homes weren’t full enough in 2019, they are even fuller in 2021.

If there was ever a year to start giving experiences for Christmas rather than physical possessions, this is the year.

Most of your family and friends desire that anyway.

Every year, I post a list of 52 clutterfree gift ideas on Facebook.  This year I decided to post it a bit earlier than normal. As of today, not even halfway into November, the list has been viewed and shared by over 12 million people!

Anecdotal evidence I know, but when a clutterfree gift list is more than twice as popular this year than any previous year, something unique is happening.

Try it out. You’ll be surprised how much more you enjoy the holiday season.

In your own family, set expectations early (now). Get buy-in from your spouse, tell your kids that you are trying something new this year, and then set healthy expectations. Focusing more on experiences than physical gifts, doesn’t mean you have to cut out all physical gifts—just shift some of your focus. As I mentioned earlier, my kids still receive one thing they need (usually a clothing item) and one thing they want.

For your extended family, bring up the conversation now. Get on the phone with your parents or siblings and see if they think trying something new would be fun this year. In many cases, people will be relieved that they don’t have to shop for yet another Christmas gift. Formulate a plan and try it out.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever talked to someone who moved towards an experience-based holiday season and regretted the decision.

Experiences last longer than physical possessions. And we’re all hungry for greater connection with each other after 18 months of sacrificing it.

Maybe you’ll hate it and change back next year, but I doubt it.

Either way, if there was ever a year to start giving experiences for Christmas rather than physical possessions, this is the year.