Joshua Becker's Blog, page 38

100 Things I’d Say to My 18-Year-Old Self About Minimalism

I recently asked a question on social media I thought would be fun, “If you had the chance, what advice would you give your 18-year-old self about minimalism?”

The responses were brilliant! So much so, I decided to collect the highlights here.

The wisdom contained in these responses goes beyond 18-year-olds. There is wonderful truth contained here for all of us to hear—whether for the first time or the hundredth time.

100 Things I’d Say to My 18-Year Old Self About Minimalism

1. Don’t be in such a hurry to furnish your home.

2. I promise Starbucks isn’t worth it. You’re going to need the money, trust me.

3. Marry someone that’s on the same page you are.

4. Don’t promise anyone you will keep or treasure their possessions. It results in too much guilt.

5. There are no “Joneses.”

6. It’s okay to have a lot of kids and not a lot of stuff.

7. Don’t buy the crystal. You’ll never use it.

8. You won’t remember the things you bought at 18, but you will remember the trip you took with your friend who later died of cancer. 

9. You can enjoy a book without buying it.

10. Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you need it.

11. You don’t need to buy an outfit every time you go out.

12. Don’t let anyone (even mom and grandma) convince you that buying a house and filling it full of family heirlooms is normal and what everyone does.

13. Experiences with loved ones will be what you cherish throughout life, not the stuff you accumulate.

14. Save for a house or a trip or a concert, not a pair of shoes.

15. Under no circumstances should you ever rent a storage space.

16. Don’t feel embarrassed by the hand-me-down 1977 Oldsmobile Omega. It’s a wonderful gift.

17. Don’t buy clothes to make yourself feel happy, it just doesn’t work.

18. Don’t use credit cards to buy more junk you don’t need.

19. She who travels lightest travels fastest.

20. Filling your new apartment with all the pretty things from Target doesn’t give you worth or your life meaning.

21. “Retail therapy” doesn’t work.

22. Start minimalism young and invest your money instead.

23. Everything you buy is an anchor. Someday when you want to pull up that anchor, you’ll find you’re stuck and can’t go anywhere.

24. Advertising cons us into buying stuff we don’t need.

25. Patience, not instant gratification, is the gateway to a more joyful life.

26. You don’t have to do what your family does.

27. That outfit won’t hide the fact that you’re unhappy and need to make big changes.

28. Don’t start collecting Precious Moments figurines.

29. Sell your used college textbooks. You’re never going to look at them again.

30. Don’t get busy “keeping up with trends.” Buy what you like, but keep it simple and classy.

31. Buy less, donate your time and money to those less fortunate.

32. All those VHS tapes and CDs are going to be obsolete in a short period of time. 

33. Having more doesn’t equal happiness and stuff can actual be a cause of stress.

34. I know right now you really want to fit in. But your friends will love you and appreciate you for who you are.

35. Try extreme minimalism (for the thrill of it) while you’re still single and free.

36. A house becomes a home when you add love, not stuff. 

37. Most people are buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t like.

38. It might be in style today, but give it a few months and no one will want it. Not even Goodwill.

39. Regarding clothes: By the time you lose enough weight to fit into it, it will be out of style.

40. It may have been a gift to you, but you don’t have to keep it for the rest of your life.

41. You’re going to get everything you ever wanted, and it still won’t be enough.

42. Don’t register for those special occasion dishes, glassware, and other fancy items when you get married. 

43. Stop spending travel money on souvenirs.

44. Appreciate the little things. They are the big things, and more valuable than any material thing you’ll ever own.

45. If you can’t use it now, give it a new home to someone who will.

46. Don’t build a huge house, you don’t need it and it costs more than you think to maintain.

47. The $10.00 wallet holds money as well as the $300.00 one, with an extra $290.00 inside!

48. Be happy you’re poor. Nothing helps you be a minimalist better than just not being able to afford things. 

49. Learn some budgeting skills! Your paycheck doesn’t have to be all spent before the next one arrives.

50. There would be a lot less cleaning to do if you got rid of stuff!

51. Forget the materialistic stuff and focus on nurturing the relationships around you instead.

52. Your self-worth has nothing to do with what you have or how clean your house is.

53. Stuff does not increase your quality of life.

54. Never take into account the salary you might make tomorrow to justify an expenditure today.

55. Do not buy a house early until you’re 100% about living in an area. 

56. You do not need all this crap—your credit is way more important!

57. Instead of making Christmas lists of stuff you want, ask for adventures like tickets and passes to shows, concerts, state parks, museums, zoos, and theme parks.

58. You will never need any Longaberger baskets.

59. You don’t need as much as you think you need. You can retire in your 50’s if you don’t waste so much.

60. You are never going to make a scrapbook. Stop hoarding junk.

61. Shopping is not a hobby.

62. Stop going to TJ Maxx every Friday after work.

63. The opinions of others cost you money. So learn to not care and save a fortune.

64. Do everything you can to save now for a down payment on your house.

65. Don’t believe the magazines.

66. Just because your mother hung onto things doesn’t mean you have to.

67. It’s much easier to never start with bad habits than to end them.

68. Scarcity mindset is generational trauma in disguise. Do the work.

69. It is possible to get through life without buying every issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.

70. Things won’t fill the holes in your life and heart.

71. You’re 18. Turn off the TV and go live life!

72. Pay more for quality, not quantity.

73. The world is deceitful and very, very temporary.

74. Get rid of it all. And live generously.

75. Stop shopping at Goodwill. Even 99¢ adds up.

76. Life is more peaceful with less stuff.

77. Don’t be afraid to be different.

78. Don’t buy anything on impulse. Write down what you want, walk away, and give it a couple of days.

79. Your dreams should include something better than a really big house.

80. Understand the difference between your real self and your fantasy self.

81. Spend more time outside.

82. Minimalism is not about denying yourself pleasure, it’s about removing dead weight.

83. Don’t buy that $40k truck. Please, don’t.

84. The bigger the wedding does not mean it’s better. 

85. Don’t bother with jewelry. No one bothers to tell you that when you get older, you can’t stand having it on.

86. Clothes are not the answer to career success.

87. We don’t buy things with money, but with hours of our lives.

88. When Beanie Babies become a thing, just don’t.

89. You don’t need to buy the biggest house the bank says you can afford.

90. Develop the habit of living on less money than you make.

91. It’s not how much you acquire, it’s what you do with what you have.

92. Don’t waste your money on high-end brands.

93. Nobody really cares what you have.

94. Most people spend half their life acquiring things, and the other half getting rid of those things. Just skip the acquiring part.

95. You don’t need to upgrade your phone every year.

96. Find Dave Ramsey sooner.

97. Don’t go shopping just because you’re bored.

98. You don’t need one in every color.

99. Buying things won’t fix your depression.

100. Just because it’s free doesn’t mean you need it.

What would you add to the list? If you had the chance, what advice would you give your 18-year-old self about minimalism?

100 Things I’d Say to My 18-Year Old Self About Minimalism

I recently asked a question on social media I thought would be fun, “If you had the chance, what advice would you give your 18-year-old self about minimalism?”

The responses were brilliant! So much so, I decided to collect the highlights here.

The wisdom contained in these responses goes beyond 18-year-olds. There is wonderful truth contained here for all of us to hear—whether for the first time or the hundredth time.

100 Things I’d Say to My 18-Year Old Self About Minimalism

1. Don’t be in a hurry to furnish your home.

2. I promise Starbucks isn’t worth it. You’re going to need the money, trust me.

3. Marry someone that’s on the same page you are.

4. Don’t promise anyone you will keep or treasure their possessions. It results in too much guilt.

5. There are no “Joneses!”

6. It’s okay to have a lot of kids and not a lot of stuff.

7. Don’t buy the crystal. You’ll never use it.

8. You won’t remember the things you bought at 18, but you will remember the trip you took with your friend who later died of cancer. 

9. You can enjoy a book without buying it.

10. Just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean you need it.

11. You don’t need to buy an outfit every time you go out.

12. Don’t let anyone (even mom and grandma) convince you that buying a house and filling it full of family heirlooms is normal and what everyone does.

13. Experiences with loved ones will be what you cherish throughout life, not the stuff you accumulate.

14. Save for a house or a trip or a concert, not a pair of shoes.

15. Under no circumstances should you ever rent a storage space.

16. Don’t feel embarrassed by the hand-me-down 1977 Oldsmobile Omega. It’s a wonderful gift.

17. Don’t buy clothes to make yourself feel happy, it just doesn’t work.

18. Don’t use credit cards to buy more junk you don’t need.

19. She who travels lightest travels fastest.

20. Filling your new apartment with all the pretty things from Target doesn’t give you worth or your life meaning.

21. “Retail therapy” doesn’t work.

22. Start minimalism young and invest your money instead.

23. Everything you buy is an anchor. Someday when you want to pull up that anchor, you’ll find you’re stuck and can’t go anywhere.

24. Advertising cons us into buying stuff we don’t need.

25. Patience, not instant gratification, is the gateway to a more joyful life.

26. You don’t have to do what your family does.

27. That outfit won’t hide the fact that you’re unhappy and need to make big changes.

28. Don’t start collecting Precious Moments figurines.

29. Sell your used college textbooks. You’re never going to look at them again

30. Don’t get busy “keeping up with trends.” Buy what you like, but keep it simple and classy.

31. Buy less, donate your time and money to those less fortunate.

32. All those VHS tapes and CDs are going to be obsolete in a short period of time. 

33. Having more doesn’t equal happiness and stuff can actual be a cause of stress.

34. I know right now you really want to fit in. But your friends will love you and appreciate you for who you are.

35. Try extreme minimalism (for the thrill of it) while you’re still single and free.

36. A house becomes a home when you add love, not stuff. 

37. Most people are buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t like.

38. It might be in style today, but give it a few months and no one will want it. Not even Goodwill.

39. Regarding clothes: By the time you lose enough weight to fit into it, it will be out of style.

40. It may have been a gift to you, but you don’t have to keep it for the rest of your life.

41. You’re going to get everything you ever wanted and it still won’t be enough.

42. Don’t register for those special occasion dishes, glassware, and other fancy items when you get married. 

43. Stop spending travel money on souvenirs.

44. Appreciate the little things. They are the big things, and more valuable than any material thing you’ll ever own.

45. If you can’t use it now, give it a new home to someone who will.

46. Don’t build a huge house, you don’t need it and it costs more than you think to maintain.

47. The $10.00 wallet holds money as well as the $300.00 one, with an extra $290.00 inside!

48. Be happy you’re poor. Nothing helps you be a minimalist better than just not being able to afford things. 

49. Learn some budgeting skills! Your paycheck doesn’t have to be all spent before the next one arrives.

50. There would be a lot less cleaning to do if you got rid of stuff!

51. Forget the materialistic stuff and focus on nurturing the relationships around you instead

52. Your self-worth has nothing to do with what you have or how clean your house is.

53. Stuff does not increase your quality of life.

54. Never take into account the salary you might make tomorrow to justify an expenditure today.

55. Do not buy a house early until you’re 100% about living in an area. 

56. You do not need all this crap—your credit is way more important!

57. Instead of making Christmas lists of stuff you want, ask for adventures like tickets and passes to shows, concerts, state parks, museums, zoos, and theme parks.

58. You will never need any Longaberger baskets.

59 .You don’t need as much as you think you need. You can retire in your 50’s if you don’t waste so much.

60. You are never going to make a scrapbook. Stop hoarding junk.

61. Shopping is not a hobby.

62. Stop going to TJ Maxx every Friday after work.

63. The opinions of others cost you money. So learn to not care and save a fortune.

64. Do everything you can to save now for a down payment on your house.

65. Don’t believe the magazines.

66. Just because your mother hung onto things doesn’t mean you have to.

67. It’s much easier to never start with bad habits than to end them.

68. Scarcity mindset is generational trauma in disguise. Do the work.

69. It is possible to get through life without buying every issue of Cosmopolitan magazine.

70. Things won’t fill the holes in your life and heart.

71. You’re 18. Turn off the TV and go live life!

72. Pay more for quality, not quantity.

73. The world is deceitful and very, very temporary.

74. Get rid of it all. And live generously.

75. Stop shopping at Goodwill. Even 99¢ adds up.

76. Life is more peaceful with less stuff.

77. Don’t be afraid to be different.

78. Don’t buy anything on impulse. Write down what you want, walk away, and give it a couple of days.

79. Your dreams should include something better than a really big house.

80. Understand the difference between your real self and your fantasy self.

81. Spend more time outside.

82. Minimalism is not about denying yourself pleasure, it’s about removing dead weight.

83. Don’t buy that $40k truck. Please, don’t.

84. The bigger the wedding does not mean it’s better. 

85. Don’t bother with jewelry. No one bothers to tell you that when you get older, you can’t stand having it on.

86. Clothes are not the answer to career success.

87. We don’t buy things with money, but with hours of our lives.

88. When Beanie Babies become a thing, just don’t.

89. You don’t need to buy the biggest house the bank says you can afford.

90. Develop the habit of living on less money than you make.

91. It’s not how much you acquire, it’s what you do with what you have.

92. Don’t waste your money on high-end brands.

93. Nobody really cares what you have.

94. Most people spend half their life acquiring things, and the other half getting rid of those things. Just skip the acquiring part.

95. You don’t need to upgrade your phone every year.

96. Find Dave Ramsey sooner.

97. Don’t go shopping just because you’re bored.

98. You don’t need one in every color.

99. Buying things won’t fix your depression.

100. Just because it’s free doesn’t mean you need it.

What would you add to the list? What advice would you give your 18-year-old self about minimalism?

The Minimalism Checklist

Note: This is a guest post from Melissa of Melissa Camara Wilkins.

The average home in the U.S. contains about three hundred thousand items. What on earth? What are we even doing with all that stuff?

If your house feels overstuffed, your days are crazy-busy, and you can’t find your desk under all that clutter: we understand. We’ve all been there, and making changes can be overwhelming.

What should you work on first? How do you decide what stays and what goes? Three hundred thousand times?

Minimalism Checklist

If you love the idea of living with less but aren’t sure where to start, try these ten steps toward designing a simple life. (And if you’re already a master minimizer, pass this on to a friend who wants to get started simplifying, too.)

1. What’s your “why”?

Ask yourself why you want to simplify. Are you trying to relieve the pressure of an overfull life? Do you want the calm that comes with a decluttered space? Are you making space for big dreams?

When you need extra motivation, remember that “why,” see how far you’ve come, and focus on where you’re headed.

2. Start with easy.

Even if you want to make big changes, start small. Clear out one junk drawer. Say no to one coffee date. Take one minute for quiet, relaxed breathing.

Build up some small wins before moving on to bigger challenges.

3. Separate wants and needs.

You probably need less than you think. We all do. As you’re deciding what to keep in your life, ask, “Could I live without this?” If so, you know it’s more of a want than a need.

Needs have to stay. You get to choose about the wants.

4. Look for the joy.

A good rule of thumb is to keep things you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. In the words of William Morris, “If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.“

To find the beauty, Marie Kondo teaches us to ask if what we own sparks joy. If not: let it go. Maybe someone else will be overjoyed to pick it up.

5. Clear your schedule.

Designing a simple life doesn’t stop with your stuff. A simpler schedule can bring all kinds of peace to your days.

Are there activities you need to let go of? Meetings you don’t need to attend? Dates to cancel? You know what to do.

6. Unplug everything.

You don’t have to unplug forever, but scheduling regular screen-free time can restore your perspective and bring more joy into your simple life.

Use that time to get out in nature, connect more deeply with the people around you, and quiet the noise in your head.

7. Schedule rest.

As your physical space is becoming simpler, explore ways to build a rhythm of work and rest into your life, too. It’s hard to pursue “simple living” when your reality is more “exhausted living.”

8. Make it your own.

Simplicity is not a competition. Simplify in ways that make sense for you, and don’t worry about how you compare to anyone else. In fact, minimizing the comparisons will clear mental clutter like crazy.

9. Remember your relationships.

Don’t let your commitment to simple living get in the way of your most important relationships. Others may not be ready to make the same choices you make. You do what’s right for you, and enjoy the amazing people in your life without trying to change them.

10. Enjoy more, and less.

More time, more freedom, and more room to breathe. Less stuff and less stress. Less to organize, store, and take care of. Less hassle. Less hustle.

Take a moment to practice gratitude for what you’ve learned from the things you’ve let go of, and for the new chapter you’re moving into.

***

Melissa Camara Wilkins writes a beautiful blog about giving yourself permission to be who you were made to be and is the author of Permission Granted.

A Minimalism Checklist

Note: This is a guest post from Melissa of Melissa Camara Wilkins.

The average home in the U.S. contains about three hundred thousand items. What on earth? What are we even doing with all that stuff?

If your house feels overstuffed, your days are crazy-busy, and you can’t find your desk under all that clutter: we understand. We’ve all been there, and making changes can be overwhelming.

What should you work on first? How do you decide what stays and what goes? Three hundred thousand times?

Minimalism Checklist

If you love the idea of living with less but aren’t sure where to start, try these ten steps toward designing a simple life. (And if you’re already a master minimizer, pass this on to a friend who wants to get started simplifying, too.)

1. What’s your “why”?

Ask yourself why you want to simplify. Are you trying to relieve the pressure of an overfull life? Do you want the calm that comes with a decluttered space? Are you making space for big dreams?

When you need extra motivation, remember that “why,” see how far you’ve come, and focus on where you’re headed.

2. Start with easy.

Even if you want to make big changes, start small. Clear out one junk drawer. Say no to one coffee date. Take one minute for quiet, relaxed breathing.

Build up some small wins before moving on to bigger challenges.

3. Separate wants and needs.

You probably need less than you think. We all do. As you’re deciding what to keep in your life, ask, “Could I live without this?” If so, you know it’s more of a want than a need.

Needs have to stay. You get to choose about the wants.

4. Look for the joy.

A good rule of thumb is to keep things you know to be useful or believe to be beautiful. In the words of William Morris, “If you want a golden rule that will fit everything, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.“

To find the beauty, Marie Kondo teaches us to ask if what we own sparks joy. If not: let it go. Maybe someone else will be overjoyed to pick it up.

5. Clear your schedule.

Designing a simple life doesn’t stop with your stuff. A simpler schedule can bring all kinds of peace to your days.

Are there activities you need to let go of? Meetings you don’t need to attend? Dates to cancel? You know what to do.

6. Unplug everything.

You don’t have to unplug forever, but scheduling regular screen-free time can restore your perspective and bring more joy into your simple life.

Use that time to get out in nature, connect more deeply with the people around you, and quiet the noise in your head.

7. Schedule rest.

As your physical space is becoming simpler, explore ways to build a rhythm of work and rest into your life, too. It’s hard to pursue “simple living” when your reality is more “exhausted living.”

8. Make it your own.

Simplicity is not a competition. Simplify in ways that make sense for you, and don’t worry about how you compare to anyone else. In fact, minimizing the comparisons will clear mental clutter like crazy.

9. Remember your relationships.

Don’t let your commitment to simple living get in the way of your most important relationships. Others may not be ready to make the same choices you make. You do what’s right for you, and enjoy the amazing people in your life without trying to change them.

10. Enjoy more, and less.

More time, more freedom, and more room to breathe. Less stuff and less stress. Less to organize, store, and take care of. Less hassle. Less hustle.

Take a moment to practice gratitude for what you’ve learned from the things you’ve let go of, and for the new chapter you’re moving into.

***

Melissa Camara Wilkins writes a beautiful blog about giving yourself permission to be who you were made to be and is the author of Permission Granted.

Never Have to Cross the Street: A Helpful Approach to Ending Relationships

Relationships in our lives come and go.

Some relationships are long, some are short. Some are close, others not.

But to live is to be in relationship with others. Whether in business, family, school, or community, people always move in and out of our lives.

And sometimes, ending a relationship is the hardest part.

One approach that I have always found helpful to ending relationships (for any reason) graciously is what I call the “Never have to cross the street” philosophy.

Allow me to explain:

Ten years ago, we sold our house in Vermont and moved to Arizona.

We used a realtor for the sale, Garry.

Describing Garry as our realtor doesn’t really give our relationship justice. He and his wife were far more than realtors to Kim and me, they were friends.

Garry was an important man in my life. He is someone I look up to even today. He was one of the first people we talked to when arriving in Vermont. He helped us buy our home when we eventually moved there, he and his wife remained involved in our lives all six years, and he helped us again as we sold the home.

During the negotiations to sell our house, he offered me a word of advice that I have never, ever forgotten.

As is typically the case in a home sale, buyer and seller were negotiating over price and terms of the contract.

At one point, I remember asking Garry for advice, “How much should we be pushing for here? How much should I really be demanding of the other person? Does this seem fair?”

He replied, “Well, this is a negotiation and you can ask for anything you want. But my philosophy, for every business transaction, is that when it’s over, if I were to see the other party walking towards me on the sidewalk, I wouldn’t have to cross the street to avoid them.”

It was a simple sentence and a simple thought. And yet, the advice has shaped countless conversations and relationships for me ever since—not just in the sale of that house, but hopefully, in all my interactions (both business and personal), since then.

The phrase has often been repeated in my head, “Am I conducting myself in such a way, that I wouldn’t have to cross the street if I saw this person walking toward me on the sidewalk?”

It has provided a simple framework for not just the words that I use, the decisions that I make, but also the attitude and motivations behind them.

“When this relationship ends (whether it be business, friendship, or family), can I look this person in the eye confidently and have a friendly conversation?”

Relationships aren’t always easy. And not every relationship continues indefinitely. Nor is it necessarily healthy for every relationship to continue.

But my hope, is that in any relationship of mine that comes to an end, it will end in such a way that I never have to cross the street to avoid that person. There may be disagreements on how it ended or the compromises made, but when our conscience is clear, we can walk straight with our head held high.

I should note that I believe this philosophy on life can hold true with every relationship.

But business dealings, as in my example above, may be the easiest place to practice this principle—after all, we’re usually just talking about money.

It is when the relationships closest to us come to an end that we often hurt the most. And it is in those relationships, where the “never have to cross the street” principle may be the most difficult to practice: a divorce, an involved parent, a disgruntled family member, or a friend who turned their back on us.

In those cases, it is important to remember that you cannot control the other person and the decisions they are making. But you can always control the way you respond and the motives that guide you as the relationship ends.

And even in the most difficult of endings, you can act with honesty, integrity, and graciousness. And when you do, you’ll never have to be the one to cross the street.

Organizing Is Easier After Minimizing

We are a culture drowning in possessions.

We take in more and more at an unprecedented rate (holidays, birthdays, weekend sales, Amazon). But rarely do we make commitments to discard possessions as quickly as they accumulate. As a result, our homes fill with stuff.

Often, the proposed solution to this increased abundance of personal possessions is to search for better organizational tools, skills, or ideas. We think:

If I just had the right container, this stuff wouldn’t feel like clutter.

If I just knew the right way to store these, it would be easier to use this cabinet.

If my kids or spouse were better at cleaning up, this house wouldn’t feel so messy all the time.

Or how about this one?

If I just had a bigger home, it wouldn’t feel so cluttered all the time.

In each and every case, and in countless other scenarios, we fall into a trap. The thought trap is this: If I could just organize my stuff better, the clutter issue and stress would be gone.

This thinking is a result of the culture we live in. Keep in mind that we are constantly bombarded with advertisements and marketing messages to purchase more and more. Virtually every advertisement promises a better, happier, or more convenient life on the other side of this purchase.

We buy things because we believe they will improve our life, not distract from it. Taking a step back to realize the things we’ve bought are not contributing to a better life requires an almost 180-degree turn from what we’ve been told.

Even worse, it requires us to admit we were wrong. It’s easier to think we were right when we bought the items and we just need a better way to store them.

So we hold stubbornly to the belief that all this stuff will make our lives better if we keep it and organize it somehow.

Just for the record, there is nothing wrong with organizing our stuff. I certainly recommend it. But there is an important truth that we need to embrace:

Organizing better may not be the final answer. It might not even be the first answer.

Organizing your stuff becomes simpler when you own less stuff. Or, like I said in the title, organizing is always easier after minimizing.

In fact, a lot of times, once we own less, organizing almost seems to take care of itself.

Courtney Cuts Through the Confusion

Courtney Carver, blogger at Be More with Less, may have shaped my understanding of organizing more than anyone else. And she did it with two spot-on sentences.

I don’t remember the exact context or course of the quotes, but somewhere along the way I ran into them and have repeated them over and over again ever since.

1. “Don’t you think, if organizing was the solution, you’d be done by now?”

Organizing is always, only a temporary solution. You can organize all your stuff today, only to have to organize it again tomorrow—no matter how great your system.

That is one of the reasons why organizing tips and organizational tools never go out of style in stores. As long as the possessions are still in our home, we need a place to store them—again and again, over and over.

2. “If you have to buy stuff to organize your stuff, maybe you have too much stuff.”

We live in a way that is entirely foreign to past generations. Never in human history have human beings owned as much stuff as we do today. We own so much that there are entire industries and stores thriving based on the assumption that we’d rather buy more stuff to store our stuff than remove our stuff.

Have you stopped to think how crazy it is that department stores line entire aisles with plastic totes just so you have a place to store all the unnecessary stuff you’ve already taken home from the same store? It’s like we’re paying them for the privilege of keeping more and more of their stuff in our homes.

Reasons Why Minimizing Should Come Before Organizing

If you own too much, minimizing possessions is always better than organizing. And not just because of the reasons Courtney mentioned. There are other reasons too:

For one, minimizing possessions is a permanent act. Whenever something leaves our home, it frees up physical space and is gone forever. The action does not need to be repeated over and over again.

When that possession is out the door, whether it be by selling, donating, recycling, or discarding, the physical space is freed up and the mental space clears as well.

A second reason minimizing is better is that simply organizing our stuff never benefits anybody else. Organizing our things, moving them around from room to room, shelf to shelf, or bin to bin, affords no opportunity to help someone else.

The reality is that our excess stuff can be a blessing to somebody. The unneeded items in your home are the very things that somebody, somewhere, desperately needs. And that person may be someone right in your own community: the single mom, the recently laid-off father, the unemployed college graduate, the refugee family, or the homeless man trying for a fresh start.

If we’re just moving stuff to different shelves, organizing it over and over again inside our four walls, another person’s need remains unmet. Minimizing our things and donating them intentionally, on the other hand, gives us the opportunity to benefit people who need those things.

Most of us want to help people. We want to solve problems we see, and we want to be generous with our resources. Often, we just can’t seem to find the margin to do so—there’s no money left, no time left, or no energy at the end of the workweek.

But look around your home. That closet stuffed full, that drawer that doesn’t close, the garage you can’t park in because of the boxes— those are all opportunities to give and help! But not until you get past the thinking trap that keeping our stuff is improving our life and organizing is the answer for our excess.

A third reason organizing gets easier after minimizing is that removing unneeded possessions from our home begins to change us from the inside. Minimizing our things forces self-reflection in a way organizing cannot.

For me, this happened when I started taking mini-van loads of decluttered things to our local thrift drop-off center. I took one van load of stuff to the donation center, dropped it off, and felt great about myself. Then I took a second van load of things. Still felt great to free up the space in my home.

Then I took a third and a fourth… and somewhere along the line I started to ask myself some pretty difficult questions about my life and habits. Specifically, Why in the world did I have four van loads of things in my home that I don’t need?

I’ll admit, I didn’t like what I found when I started asking that question of myself. I started to realize some pretty unhealthy motivations in my heart: jealousy, envy, a desire to impress others, a fear-based mindset, and just plain unintentional living.

Those truths were difficult to discover about myself, and I continue to learn more and more, but they were helpful to recognize in that moment. Organizing alone would not have revealed those things to me. Just putting things in a box and setting them on a shelf in an organized fashion doesn’t prompt deep, life-changing questions like minimizing possessions will.

And last, minimizing blazes opportunity for life change. Just reorganizing your stuff may clear up some physical space for a little while, or make your home a bit more efficient for the time being, but it will never spark significant changes to your life.

Don’t Miss This

If you struggle with clutter in your home and life, the first step I recommend is removing some of the possessions from your life. When you do, you will permanently free up space, help others, and create an opportunity for incredible self-reflection and life change. Your view of your home and possessions will change, and organizing will become easier because there will be fewer items to store.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

I invite you to fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

Everything Must Be Paid for Twice | Raptitude by David Cain. One financial lesson they should teach in school is that most of the things we buy have to be paid for twice.

The People Deciding to Ditch Their Smartphones | BBC by Suzanne Bearne. “I was on my mobile at a playground with the kids and I looked up and every single parent – there was up to 20 – were looking at their phones, just scrolling away.”

How an 8-Year Minimalism Journey Helped Me Find Inner Peace | Medium by Alice Crady. The habit of letting go has become an ongoing and profound spiritual practice. By letting go of everything unimportant and unnecessary, you begin to glimpse the truth of who you are.

How to Make the Most of Your 24 Hours | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. So many of us feel a scarcity of time: we feel rushed, like there’s not enough time to do everything. This problem is called “time scarcity,” and it’s one of the most common stresses in our society.

Your Biggest Dreams Do Not Include a House Full of Stuff | Joshua Becker on YouTube. We all dream bigger dreams for our lives than material possessions.

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Things That Matter Preview Chapter. My new book, Things That Matter, is about overcoming the distractions that keep us from living out our true purpose. The entire book will be available on April 19. But you can read the first chapter today right here.

You Won’t Find Your Greatest Mentors on Social Media

I am thankful for social media. Because it exists, I am allowed to do the work I do. And I hope that I have been able to make a positive difference in your life through it.

But I think we all need to be reminded from time to time (myself included) that we’re not going to find our greatest mentors on social media.

In fact, when I look back on the people in my life who have made the biggest difference in my growth and development, social media influencers are nowhere near the top.

The men and women who have shaped me the most are the men and women I have chosen to spend time with in-real-life. My parents, my grandparents, the family who took me into their home during college, my first boss, my second boss, my friends… these are the people who have shaped me the most.

They knew me best… and I knew them best. And the relationships changed me.

We are interpersonal creatures and positive social relationships affect our physical, mental, and emotional health.

Now, this isn’t to discount the fact that we can learn many things from people we follow on social media and the Internet. Because of the people I follow, I have become a better writer, a better leader, a better influencer, more productive, and a better husband and father. All good things.

There is value in blogs, podcasts, social media, YouTube channels, books, music… There is a lot of information online that can and should benefit us. We live in wonderful times.

But the most significant transformations that have occurred in me were the result of the relationships I sought. I have been informed by social media, but I have been transformed by people I see on a recurring basis.

This is why personal relationships are so important. And why we are wise to invest time and energy in cultivating healthy ones.

Influencers on social media share only the parts of themselves they want to share. But close relationships in life allow us to see all sides of a person—the good and the bad. They allow us to see in real-time how someone responds to a trial, a temptation, or a sudden turn in life. There are less secrets to hide and more opportunities to learn.

Unlike following a personality or influencer online, relationships require give-and-take. They require us to show up even when we don’t want to, and they require us to face truths we might otherwise avoid.

And these real life interpersonal relationships provide significantly more support than our relationships on social media

They enhance our lives.

No doubt, many of you are nodding your head in agreement. You will attest that the most influential people in your life are those you know the best who have provided a positive example for you. If that’s the case, make sure you thank them.

If that’s not you, let me challenge you today to look around. Find somebody in your life that you know and admire and desire to emulate. Choose a family member, a co-worker, a member of your church or social club, and work to become a closer friend.  

Or, find new places to look for positive mentors. It’s not easy work, but it’s important:

Do you like reading? Find a local book club.

Is faith important to you? Get involved and active.

Do you enjoy scrolling the feeds of your friends on social media? Text someone you saw recently and reconnect.

Eating lunch alone at work? See if a co-worker wants to join you.

Has life been unfair in the number of positive examples that have been present in your life? Don’t fall into the trap thinking they aren’t necessary. Instead, search diligently for those positive examples and be open to including them in your life.  

In the end, our real-life interactions will always play a greater role in our development than the people we follow on social media. And we all need to work harder (especially these days) on pursuing lasting, life-giving relationships.

How I Became an Early Riser

Not everyone wants to be an early riser, but I always did.

Most of the people I wanted to emulate with my life were waking early in the morning, making the most of their day and life. It was something I desired to be true of me, but was never able to accomplish—until my mid-thirties.

Roughly a decade ago, I decided to change my habits. I don’t wake up at 4:00am like some stories I hear, but most mornings nowadays, I wake up at 6:00am cheerfully and excited to get started with the day.

And everything changed in just one month’s time.

If you’ve ever wanted to become an early riser, here are the exact steps I took:

1. Set a 30-Day Experiment.

I learned the value of 30-Day experiments from Steve Pavlina.

When it comes to changing habits, in his words, “We often psyche ourselves out of getting started by mentally thinking about the change as something permanent — before we’ve even begun…

But what if you thought about making the change only temporarily — say for 30 days — and then you’re free to go back to your old habits? That doesn’t seem so hard anymore.“

30 days is a long enough period to see if you like the changes in your life. And, after 30 days, if you like the change, it is easier to mark the behavior as already a habit.

You can try the 30-day experiment for any life change you are interested in. For me, it became the month-long experiment that turned me into an early riser for good.

I chose a 30-day period and committed to waking up every morning at 5am. “It’s just for 30 days. Surely I can accomplish that.”

And so can you.

2. Feet on Ground, Look Out the Window.

Every morning when my alarm went off, I gave myself only two instructions:

Feet on the ground. (Stand up).Eyes out the window. (Look outside).

These were the only two disciplined steps that I required of myself each morning. Not burdensome, not difficult. In my head, I’d just repeat that phrase, “Feet on ground, eyes out the window.”

Those steps became incredibly effective—especially on the days that I struggled to get up. They weren’t difficult. But once you complete those two steps, you’ve won 80% of the struggle. At that point, it requires a conscience decision to go lay back down and fall sleep.

Plus, depending on when you choose to wake, if there’s sunshine outside, the sunlight boosts your serotonin and biologically helps you stay awake.

But even if there is no sunlight: “Feet on ground, eyes out the window.”

After completing those two simple steps, buoyed by my desire to be successful in my experiment, I was up, awake, and out of bed.

3. Go to Bed When You are Tired.

Waking up earlier will mean that you get less sleep if you keep the same bedtime.

The most important change to become an early riser is to learn going to bed earlier.

But what time should that be? Let your body tell you.

Change your thinking from, “I go to bed at x pm” to “I go to bed when I feel tired.” And let your body tell you when that is.

It’ll take a little getting used to, especially if you are used to wasting hours at the end of the day watching television or scrolling social media. But remind yourself that you are only trying this out for 30 days.

I can almost guarantee that after a few weeks of learning to listen to your body and going to bed when it asks you to, you’ll love the new approach to bedtime—rather than letting the clock tell you how late you should stay up.

4. Find a Motivation for the Morning.

Waking up early is easier when you have a purpose to it.

In most cases, your home will be quiet when you begin waking up early. So use that time intentionally.

During my 30-day experiment, I was working to minimize the sentimental items that had collected in our basement. It was a project I wanted to complete, but knew would take time. I also had two young children and didn’t want to sacrifice time away from them in the evening after work.

So decluttering the basement became part of my morning routine. I’d wake up at 5, declutter a box or shelf in the basement for an hour, and then make breakfast, get ready for work, and be fully ready by the time my kids were up getting ready for school. I would also use occasional mornings to write when appropriate (growing this blog actually), but I always knew what I wanted to do when I woke up.

Maybe you would enjoy extra time reading, praying, painting, exercising, journaling, baking, meditating, or doing yoga. The choice is yours. Don’t pick an activity that you dread, but pick something that will help you stick to your experiment and wake-up time.

5. Awake is Awake.

There’s a difference between awake and cheerful. And some mornings, that was helpful to remember.

There were certainly some days when I felt alive and excited to be up. But there were other mornings where I was simply dragging myself out of bed. (I was the only one awake in my home so my sloggy mood didn’t affect anybody else).

I’d often have to remind myself that my goal for the 30-Day experiment wasn’t necessarily to be a Fully-Joyful Joshua at 5am. My goal was to be awake.

Over time, as I appreciated more and more those early hours in the day, joyfulness came more naturally.

6. After 30 Days, Adjust.

After 30 days, make a decision on how you want to continue. You can keep your designated wake-up time or you can adjust to a new one.

If you have enjoyed the mornings, believe you are living more intentionally, and don’t feel like you are missing much late at night, almost certainly you will have begun reshaping your sleeping habits.

You can keep your designated wake-up time (5am, for example) or adjust to a new one.

After my 30-day experiment, I had completed most of the work in my basement, but still enjoyed the writing that I was doing in the early mornings. So I kept my 5am wake-up for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings. On Tuesday and Thursday, I’d wake up at 6am—which is when I wake up most days still.

John Dryden is quoted as saying, “We first make our habits, then our habits make us.” Becoming an early riser was a habit I always wanted to make for myself. And through the steps above, I accomplished it. You can too.

The Law of Habituation: Why You Should Own Five Sentimental Items Instead of Fifty

Note: This is a guest post from Erica Layne of The Life On Purpose Movement.

A houseplant sprouted and transplanted from one my grandma had twenty years ago. 

A rug my grandparents picked up on their travels. 

A letter my mom wrote to me when I was born. 

The pieces of clothing each of my babies wore the day we took them home from the hospital. 

These are some of my most precious possessions. And aside from photo books and Christmas-tree ornaments, they also happen to be some of my only sentimental items. 

If you’re surrounded by pieces that once belonged to someone you loved or that represent a different time in your life (keepsakes from your childhood, toys your kids have long since outgrown, or clothes that no longer suit your lifestyle), what value can all of those pieces really have to you?

Do you really see them? Do you run your hands over them and experience the memories they bring up? 

Or do they blend into the background of your life? 

What Is Habituation? 

This is the law of habituation at work: The more you’re exposed to a certain stimulus, the less you see it. 

For example, you could walk through a hallway in a commercial building and pass three fire extinguishers without ever registering them. You’ve walked past hundreds of fire extinguishers in your lifetime, so they barely make a blip on your radar anymore. 

Your brain is wired for survival, so it scans your environments for things that are new and potentially threatening—not for things that are familiar and harmless.

Because of this, the things you have a hard time parting with are blurred and hidden by everything around you. They’re not adding value to your life because you’re not even seeing them.

To Your Brain, Less is Literally More

But once you’ve narrowed your collection down, you’ll actually be able to notice and give attention to the few pieces that are most meaningful to you. 

You can feel the glossy texture and appreciate the weight of the baking dish that your mom used almost every day of your childhood. 

You can mindfully spin your grandma’s wedding ring around on your finger, because you’re wearing it instead of letting it sit unnoticed in a box of jewelry you never wear.

You can smile at the string of seashells that hangs over your bathroom mirror—the seashells your dad picked up on his final trip to the beach. 

But… How?

The question you might be asking now is, how? How do I whittle an entire home full of collectibles and keepsakes down to just a handful? 

I suggest you make a nostalgia album. 

Gather up the special pieces in your home, and divide them into two to three categories. For example: (1) family heirlooms, (2) momentos from your life, and (3) keepsakes from raising your kids. 

Take photos of each item, and then use a photo printing service to print a book of your sentimental items—your nostalgia album. 

If you have a large number of objects, you may want to create an album for each of your categories. If not, each category can simply be a section in your photobook. 

Once your nostalgia album is in your hands, you can simply donate, throw out, or recycle the objects in it—trusting that your memories lie in the experiences or the person, not the object you thought represented it. 

Stop Overlooking the Things You Love

I hope the law of habituation helps you let go of volume in exchange for meaning. 

Ultimately, the few pieces you keep will have more impact on you than a house full of things you once owned and… constantly overlooked.

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Erica Layne is a bestselling author, podcast host, mom of three, and founder of The Life On Purpose Movement. She helps women build their lives on what they value most, so they can let the rest slip away—guilt-free. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or on her website.