Joshua Becker's Blog, page 43

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

My desire with each Weekend Reads is to provide you with articles and posts that encourage simplicity and minimalist living. Below, you will find links to blog posts and news stories that I hand-picked over the last couple weeks. I hope you find inspiration and practical help inside them.

But also, if you get a chance, share these posts with others via social media. With our efforts united, not only will each of us be inspired to own less and live more, but the life-giving message of minimalism will spread further and quicker, deeper and with greater effectiveness.

And that is my goal on Becoming Minimalist: to intentionally promote simplicity in a world that needs to hear it.

Family Minimalism 10 Years Out | The Minimalist Mom by Rachel Jonat. Minimalism gave me the time and money to change careers.

When Things Feel Scattered | Zen Habits by Leo Babauta. Often when our lives have a bunch of things going on at once, and multiple things to manage in each of those areas … it can feel really messy and scattered.

7 Ways to Embrace Minimalism for a Happier Life | Soulveda by Kasturi Roy. Leading a minimalist life not only declutters your space and mind but also transforms the way you spend your time, money, and energy.

10 Simple Steps To Get Started With Eco-Minimalism | The Minimalist Vegan by Michael Ofei. “I believe that eco-minimalism has the power to make an incredibly positive impact on our lives and the planet. I hope this concept continues to pick up steam and reach the mainstream.”

What Makes a Home Beautiful | Becoming Minimalist on YouTube

Expand Your Don’t Want List

There’s an old poem (Miller of Dee) that starts like this:

There dwelt a miller, hale and bold,
Beside the river Dee;
He worked and sang from morn till night –
No lark more blithe than he;
And this the burden of his song
Forever used to be:
“I envy nobody – no, not I –
And nobody envies me!”

“Thou’rt wrong, my friend,” said good King Hal,
“As wrong as wrong can be;
For could my heart be light as thine,
I’d gladly change with thee.
And tell me now, what makes thee sing,
With voice so loud and free,
While I am sad, though I am king,
Beside the river Dee?”

—

As the poem continues, the humble miller explains why he envies no one and how he already possesses everything he wants: a job, friends, family, and bread to eat.

He continues, “I would not change my station for any other in life.”

By the end, the envious king has ordered him to stop singing the lyrics. 

“Good friend,” said Hal, and sighed the while,
“Farewell, and happy be;
But say no more, if thou’dst be true,
That no one envies thee.”

The king has so much envy in his heart, he has even begun to envy the man without it.

There is a special joy found in not wanting things. The miller possessed that joy and the king did not. By not wanting more than he had, he had discovered contentment.

Contentment is the state of being satisfied. And the longer our list of “don’t wants,” the more we experience contentment.

What is on your Don’t Want list? And how can you expand it?

Let me offer an example. I have never wanted to own a fixer-upper home. I’m terrible at fixing stuff (Kim would be the first to attest to that fact). Now, there are some people who would love to have a fixer-upper style home, but not me. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. It’s on my Don’t Want List—and always has been.

Also, I’ve never wanted to own a boat. I enjoy being on boats, but I’ve never been inclined to own one. I simply don’t want one, so please don’t gift me one.

I also don’t want a horse, a tractor, a saw table, a car lift, a tuba, a tuxedo, a motorcycle, or a collection of snow globes. Now I suppose there are some people who want some of those things, but not me.

Since becoming minimalist, my “don’t want list” has grown.

I no longer want a bigger house… too many lightbulbs to change.I no longer want to keep up with changing fashions… too much time wasted shopping.I no longer want upgraded countertops, worthless kitchen gadgets, or souvenirs from my travels. I don’t want to store them and would rather spend the money on other things.

The longer my Don’t Want List grows, the easier it is to reject empty consumerism and enjoy more contentment (just like the miller of Dee).

So let me ask you. What is on your Don’t Want List? And what can you add to it?

Make a list on a sheet of paper or a Note app in your phone. 

Begin with as absurd an item as you need to get started: a rocket ship, a banana farm, a bus, etc. Then, list as many things as you can that you already don’t want.

Next… see what you can add to your list.

Obviously, the more reasonable the items you can learn to not want, the more helpful your list will be. But think of rational reasons to expand your list. 

“I don’t want a bigger house; my family is getting smaller.”
“I don’t want a bigger yard; I hate mowing.”
“I don’t want any more clothes in my closet; mine is already too full.”
“I don’t want to buy a new car; I’d like the money for something else.”
“I don’t want a new furniture set; ours works just fine already.”

Hopefully, the longer we live, the more items naturally get added to our Don’t Want List. But there’s plenty of value in sitting down to expand it now, as quickly as we can.

Create Your Don’t Want List

There’s an old poem (Miller of Dee) that starts like this:

There dwelt a miller, hale and bold,
Beside the river Dee;
He worked and sang from morn till night –
No lark more blithe than he;
And this the burden of his song
Forever used to be:
“I envy nobody – no, not I –
And nobody envies me!”

“Thou’rt wrong, my friend,” said good King Hal,
“As wrong as wrong can be;
For could my heart be light as thine,
I’d gladly change with thee.
And tell me now, what makes thee sing,
With voice so loud and free,
While I am sad, though I am king,
Beside the river Dee?”

—

As the poem continues, the humble miller explains why he envies no one and how he already possesses everything he wants: a job, friends, family, and bread to eat.

He continues, “I would not change my station for any other in life.”

By the end, the envious king has ordered him to stop singing the lyrics. 

“Good friend,” said Hal, and sighed the while,
“Farewell, and happy be;
But say no more, if thou’dst be true,
That no one envies thee.”

The king has so much envy in his heart, he has even begun to envy the man without it.

There is a special joy found in not wanting things. The miller possessed that joy and the king did not. By not wanting more than he had, he had discovered contentment.

Contentment is the state of being satisfied. And the longer our list of “don’t wants,” the more we experience contentment.

What is on your Don’t Want list? And how can you expand it?

Let me offer an example. I have never wanted to own a fixer-upper home. I’m terrible at fixing stuff (Kim would be the first to attest to that fact). Now, there are some people who would love to have a fixer-upper style home, but not me. I wouldn’t know what to do with it. It’s on my Don’t Want List—and always has been.

Also, I’ve never wanted to own a boat. I enjoy being on boats, but I’ve never been inclined to own one. I simply don’t want one, so please don’t gift me one.

I also don’t want a horse, a tractor, a saw table, a car lift, a tuba, a tuxedo, a motorcycle, or a collection of snow globes. Now I suppose there are some people who want some of those things, but not me.

Since becoming minimalist, my “don’t want list” has grown.

I no longer want a bigger house… too many lightbulbs to change.I no longer want to keep up with changing fashions… too much time wasted shopping.I no longer want upgraded countertops, worthless kitchen gadgets, or souvenirs from my travels. I don’t want to store them and would rather spend the money on other things.

The longer my Don’t Want List grows, the easier it is to reject empty consumerism and enjoy more contentment (just like the miller of Dee).

So let me ask you. What is on your Don’t Want List? And what can you add to it?

Make a list on a sheet of paper or a Note app in your phone. 

Begin with as absurd an item as you need to get started: a rocket ship, a banana farm, a bus, etc. Then, list as many things as you can that you already don’t want.

Next… see what you can add to your list.

Obviously, the more reasonable the items you can learn to not want, the more helpful your list will be. But think of rational reasons to expand your list. 

“I don’t want a bigger house; my family is getting smaller.”
“I don’t want a bigger yard; I hate mowing.”
“I don’t want any more clothes in my closet; mine is already too full.”
“I don’t want to buy a new car; I’d like the money for something else.”
“I don’t want a new furniture set; ours works just fine already.”

Hopefully, the longer we live, the more items naturally get added to our Don’t Want List. But there’s plenty of value in sitting down to expand it now, as quickly as we can.

5 Things I Learned Going Low-Waste for 40 Days

Note: This is a guest post by Gabriella Hileman.

Every year, I make it a point to spend 40 days eliminating something from my life. Everything from gossip to coffee has gone under the microscope over the years.

Earlier this year, I was lugging a particularly large assortment of trash bags out to my apartment complex’s dumpster. A few cardboard boxes writhed themselves loose from the mass I was carrying and, getting caught in the wind, left me awkwardly running after and pouncing on them. I hit some kind of breaking point. 

I resolutely decided to attempt the low-waste lifestyle, chasing promises of lighter trash bags and a lighter conscience.

Here are some of the realizations it brought me.

1. It’s hard. This sounds whiny, I know, but contemporary Western society is built on the cornerstones of easy portability and extended shelf-life, and that means lots and lots of plastic. 

In fact, even some of the zero-waste movement’s most fervent followers have conceded that they are unable to be low-waste all the time. So don’t beat yourself up if you fall short.

2. Finding your people is crucial. Here’s what I mean by that: the biggest challenge I faced in reducing plastic and non-recyclables coming into my home was purchasing food. Buying loose vegetables and staples from bulk bins became the easiest way to avoid bringing home cardboard boxes and plastic bags. 

While many stores will let you bring canvas bags for the checkout line, it’s much more difficult to find a store that will allow you to bring your own containers for bulk bin purchases or meat and cheese from the deli. Thankfully, I was able to call around and finally found a health food store that was alright with this.

Engaging with your local community more closely will be your best bet at finding ways to eat well. Farmers’ markets are often a good start. 

3. You’ll cook. A lot. During this experiment, since the lion’s share of the carbohydrates I brought home were bought in dry bulk, like rice and flour, I found myself cooking big batches to eat over a few days in lieu of packaged meals. Suddenly, I was interested in perfecting the recipe for wholesome sandwich bread. I also ate many more fruits and vegetables than before.

4. You’ll get creative. Many low-waste sites try to sell the idea that you need to buy this stainless steel food container or that package of beeswax wraps to do low-waste properly. While I’m sure those items can help if you go low-waste long term, I found them unnecessary while starting out, and was able to repurpose things I already had instead. My existing tupperware containers were perfectly fine. 

I found myself cutting up old flour sack towels and sewing them into napkins, saving glass yogurt jars to make candles with beeswax from the farmer’s market, and digging out old, neglected yarn scraps for new knitting projects. 

And you know what? Many of these projects turned out totally charming and taught me new crafting skills.

5. You will buy less in general. My Amazon cart filled only with cobwebs during this experience. Often not buying something at all was easier than finding a low-waste alternative, and that’s okay.

A low-waste experiment is a great way to get out of a food rut, encourage creativity, and ultimately challenge our relationships with the things we already own.

While I didn’t stick with the low-waste lifestyle after the 40 days were up, it did give me increased insight into how quickly our culture disposes of our existing possessions in favor of the newest model. Sometimes all an old shirt needs to feel new again is a few cool elbow patches.

I appreciated and felt much more in tune with older methods of cooking that predate the standard American diet. There was a kind of peace and intentionality in reconnecting with food that way.  

And, as promised, I didn’t have to take out the trash nearly as often.

***

Gabriella Hileman is an artist and the creative producer at Becoming Minimalist. She directs and produces the videos on the Becoming Minimalist Youtube channel.

Five Ways to Reduce the “Have To’s” in Your Life

Note: This is a guest post by Hilary Barnett.

Death and taxes. Growing up, I remember hearing adults say that those were the only two things you couldn’t get out of. And as unpleasant as death and taxes are, in a way the statement gave me a sense of freedom.

Yes, death and taxes are inescapable, but the rest? Totally up to me! I get to decide what matters in my life, and it’s going to be awesome. As I grew up and had children of my own, however, that list started to grow exponentially.

Work, household chores, acquiring stuff, social commitments, climbing some invisible ladder of success, and the list went on and on. It was as though all of a sudden my “have to’s” had gotten to be too much for me to bear.

How can one person handle all this?

I was listening to a podcast recently interviewing two working mothers, and I kept hearing that same phrase over and over. I “have to” throw my kids an extravagant birthday party. I “have to” take this important business trip. I “have to” stay at the office late tonight.

It seems as though I’m not alone.

Why do we constantly add more “have to’s” to our list when they really are optional? Of course there are certain things that are out of our control, but it is much less than we imagine.

We make choices, we decide what our priorities are, and we give up certain things to gain others. Adding more and more to our list of “have to’s” is killing us. Because if everything matters, then nothing matters.

Eliminating the “Have To’s” in Life

With that in mind, I want to share a few ways I’ve tried to eliminate many of the “have to’s” in my life.

1. Replace attempts to control with a recognition of agency.

I constantly have to fight against my desire to control. I know that control is an illusion, but that doesn’t make it any easier. Recently I discovered the concept of agency, and I love how it can change our approach to life.

The definition of agency is the capacity to make choices and the power to act on them. Although I can’t control outcomes, I do have agency.

I can think about something I want, and act on that thought to make it a reality. This can apply in the smallest areas and also the largest goals you have in life. You may not be able to control outcomes, but you do have the power to decide and act.

2. Recover your intrinsic worth.

You must recover your sense of worth outside of anything you do or achieve. Everything in your schedule doesn’t just happen—it was put there. When we forget our worth, we forget what really matters to us.

We let others define our values and priorities. We begin to say yes to everything, and wonder why we are left so exhausted and drained. We don’t value our own time and abilities, and therefore sell them to the lowest bidder. Knowing your worth is the start of changing this pattern.

3. Picture how you want things to be. Say it out loud, and write it down.

I recently cleaned out my bookshelf and found notes from a life coaching certification course that I took about six years ago. As I thumbed through my notes on how I wanted my life to look in five years, I was awestruck.

Almost everything I had written down had come to pass. I couldn’t believe it, but it was right there in front of me, plain as day. When you have a clear picture of what you want, say it out loud and write it down. There is power in externalizing those thoughts and dreams.

When you have a clear picture of where you want to be, you will be more focused on getting there. The real “have to’s” will become much more clear.

4. Be honest with yourself about your choices.

Choosing one thing is saying no to another. We are finite beings with limited time, energy, and resources. When I was listening to the mothers on the podcast I mentioned earlier, it was obvious that they were feeling the pressure to choose between their startup company or their families, and that pressure is real.

I feel it every day. But the beauty of life lies in its finitude—everything is fleeting, so everything is more precious. Living in light of that reality helps us to choose what matters most in each moment.

For me, one moment that is my family, and the next it is my business. Being honest about my own motivations and clear about what I may be giving up helps me to know that although my choices are never perfect, they reflect what matters to me and the kind of life I want to have.

5.Replace “have to” with “get to”.

“Have to” is more a state of mind than a list of duties. Approaching life with a sense of gratitude can switch so many of the “have to’s” around.

I love this quote from Albert Einstein: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

As silly as this may sound, some of the more mundane responsibilities in our lives have much to teach us if we will slow down long enough to listen. I used to want to use all my power to escape the mundane, and since becoming a mother, I have witnessed some of the most magical moments in our everyday.

As you begin to eliminate some of the more burdensome “have to’s” from your list, remember that some of them may be there to help build your character in the long term.

Here’s to defining our “have to’s” on our own terms, and keeping a sense of gratitude and wonder along the way.

***

Hilary Barnett is a mother of two daughters and writer at hilarybarnett.co, where she explores the intersection of motherhood, healing, and vocation. You can also follow her on Instagram.

7 Daily Habits to Change Your Life Forever

The direction of our lives is decided more by the daily choices we make than anything else. And these choices are more influential to the person we are becoming than we often realize.

I have professionally recorded over 130 free videos about minimalism and living your best, most intentional life. To see more, subscribe to Becoming Minimalist on YouTube.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

I invite you to fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

How to Get Motivated to Declutter and Organize | Observer-Dispatch by Deb Cabral. The thought of decluttering and getting organized can often send us into procrastination mode. Here are some ways to find the motivation you need to get started.

Drowning in Her Possessions, Jennifer Turned to a ‘Freeing’ New Lifestyle | The Sydney Morning Herald by Evelyn Lewin. Minimalism is about living a life aligned to values that include simplicity, sustainability and being a conscious consumer.

Can Minimalism Lead to Financial Freedom? | Yahoo Finance by Nicole Spector. When Milana Perepyolkina moved to the U.S. for college, she arrived with two bags.

6 Ways to Ease the Stress of Decluttering in a Tumultuous Time | The Seattle Times by Nicole Anzia. Feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to begin? Follow these six simple tips to get started.

9 Ways to Improve Your Life Through Subtraction and the Science Behind It | Joshua Becker on YouTube

Space Budgets: a simple tool for minimalist living

Note: This is a guest post by Andrea Dekker.

A common misconception in the organizing world is that the solution for too much stuff is simply to find more space.

All you need to do is get more creative with your storage, buy more bins and baskets, use vertical space more efficiently, hang additional shelves, add a closet, build another garage, finish off the basement, or rent a storage unit.

After all, won’t more space magically solve our stuff problems?

You may live in a home with poorly designed storage spaces, which certainly doesn’t help the situation. However, in my experience as a professional organizer and mother of 4 young children, lack of space is rarely ever the main issue.

The main issue is owning too much stuff.

As humans, we are naturally wired to want more — even those of us who try to live minimally and contentedly with what we have.

It’s easy to let emotions dictate our purchases or inhibit our ability to let go of items we no longer need.

Can you relate?

One solution = Space Budgets.

What are space budgets?

They are simply boundaries (or budgets) for our space.

The concept is similar to setting a timer to limit the time we spend on a specific task. Or creating a budget to assure we don’t spend more money than we have.

With a space budget, the goal is to use the space we have… and remove everything that doesn’t fit within that space. 

Easier said than done, I know! But once you get on board with space budgets, your minimalism goals will be much easier to achieve.

How to Use Space Budgets in Your Home:

Clothing. Set a limit of how many hangers you will allow in your closet (choose a number that realistically fits, with plenty of breathing room).

Whatever number you choose is now your “space budget”. It determines the number of clothing items you will allow to live in your closet.

If you purchase a new item of clothing only to realize your hangers are all used up, your choices are to either return the item or donate something currently in your closet. Similarly, if you are gifted bags of hand-me-downs, you can select a few favorites and guiltlessly donate the rest, since they don’t fit within your space budget for that particular closet.

By utilizing a space budget for your clothing, you can almost guarantee you’ll never have a cluttered closet again!

Kitchen Gadgets. Designate a specific shelf or drawer for food storage containers, water bottles, small appliances, dish towels, serving platters, etc., and vow to only keep what will fit in that drawer or on that shelf.

When you have a drawer that won’t close or a shelf that constantly spills over, you know you’re crossing your space budget boundary and it’s time to take action.

However, instead of feeling overwhelmed by the thought of reorganizing your entire kitchen, you can focus your energy on that one specific area and feel good about the fact that you solved your space problem in just a few minutes.

Seasonal Decor. If you’re the type who enjoys redecorating your home throughout the seasons, space budgets will help you keep your storage under control while still enjoying a festively decorated home.

First determine how much space you are willing to “sacrifice” for seasonal decor, then put your favorite items in that space (I like using a large clear storage tub). Once the allotted space is comfortably full, the rest must go. Period!

As you change out decor items with the seasons, your space budget will alert you when it’s time to weed through and remove your least-favorite items.

Your space budget will also serve as a helpful reminder not to go crazy with after-holiday specials… if they won’t fit within your allotted space, don’t bring them home.

Use Space Budgets Anywhere!

This same process can be applied to ANYTHING in your home — books, toys, games, outer gear, luggage, gift wrapping supplies, technology, workout equipment, dishes, cleaning supplies… even furniture!

Simply designate a specific amount of space for your items and commit to not using more space than that.

Yes, that might mean you need to get creative or make do without a certain convenience… but won’t it be worth it when you can enjoy a less cluttered, less chaotic home each and every day?

A space budget is a simple and free tool that works!

Well… it works, as long as you don’t cheat!

The goal is not to cram as much into our spaces as possible, but rather, to allow space for the things we truly need and use — hopefully with a little empty space and “breathing room”.

It’s a lovely feeling to open a drawer, find exactly what you need in just a few seconds, and easily close the drawer again. Space budgets can help you accomplish this throughout your entire home!

Just as we know it’s in our best interest to faithfully budget our finances and our time, we will also benefit from budgeting our space.

The next time you feel the need for more storage space, consider instead implementing a space budget and simply storing less. 

***

Andrea Dekker is a wife and mother of 4 young children who loves nothing more than being home! She’s passionate about creating a peaceful home, pursuing a simpler + slower lifestyle, and encouraging women in all stages of life to lean into their values and live more intentionally. She shares new content weekly at AndreaDekker.com.

Showing Up to Your Daily Life

Note: This is a guest post by Danae Smith of This Wondrous Life.

It was the summer of 2014 when I realized how outside of my life I felt. I did the motions but I wasn’t showing up to my life. I wasn’t aware or intentional. I wasn’t clear on what I valued and I surely did not have any boundaries or intentions to protect what mattered.

It took a moment of realization— listening to OneRepublic’s I Lived that this wasn’t what I wanted out of life. I wanted to live intentionally. I wanted to show up to my life in the middle of the mundane.

Have you ever felt like that? Outside of your life? Like your life is happening but you aren’t really part of it? More like life is happening to you versus you happening to life?

Maybe you’re reading this and that’s where you are. I get it. I’ve been there. We live in a time where we are daily inundated with so many options, opinions, and ideals. It is easy to get lost in the swirl, to be swallowed up by all the noise.

Even so, I want you to know it is possible to show up to your daily life. It’s possible in this overly saturated culture to be aware and intentional with what’s in front of you. It is possible to tune out all the noise and take care of what matters to you and to use what you have.

We can do this by making the decision to show up to our daily life, identifying what matters to us— our values and convictions, and by setting clear boundaries and intentions that honor and protect what matters to us.

Before we get into the how, let’s first define what it means to show up to our daily life.

Showing up to our daily life is just that: showing up. I believe it means to be aware and intentional. It’s being mindful and present with each moment, opportunity and/or experience. It’s slowing down and not rushing on to the next thing be that a to-do list or life achievement. Showing up to our daily life is all about giving ourselves permission to linger and be still.

Bottom line: showing up to our daily life means to live aware and intentionally. It’s slowing down long enough to linger in a given moment and to see the beauty in what we already have.

Now, why does it matter that we show up— that we are aware and intentional with our daily life?

It matters for a lot of reasons, one being that our daily life is where we happen. It’s where we make choices and set boundaries. It’s where our character and convictions are chiseled and molded. It’s where we learn and unlearn habits.

Our daily life is a fertile ground. It is fertile ground for us to steward what we have with intention. It is fertile ground for growth and discovery, healing and releasing. It’s where dreams can unfold and be discovered. It’s where—through our choices, habits, convictions, and character— we build the life we desire.

Bottom line: Showing up to our daily life matters because it’s the fertile ground where we happen. It’s where we grow, learn, unlearn, and make choices that help us build the life we desire.

Okay, we have an understanding of what it means to show up to our daily life and why it matters. Now, let’s talk about how we can show up to our daily life. 

To start, we first need to make the decision. As with anything, showing up to your daily life— living aware and intentionally starts with a decision. You have to make the choice to no longer be a passive participant in your life, but to be an active, aware, and connected player.

Next, we need to identify what matters to us. We need to ask ourselves: what are our values and convictions? Once we’ve decided to show up to our daily life, it’s important to know what our values and convictions are because they will often serve as a compass— a guide as we maneuver through our day to day. Also, when you know your values and convictions, you know what you will get your yes and no. You know what you will and won’t give your attention and energy.

For example, if you have a value and conviction for being present, then you will give your yes to practices that help you be present. You will give your attention and energy to being more aware in the simple moments like standing in a grocery line or preparing dinner. You will give your no to the habits that go against this value and conviction.

Lastly, when we’ve made the decision to show up and have identified what matters to us, we can set clear boundaries and intentions that protect and honor our yes to showing up.

Having clear boundaries and intentions is important in every area of life including showing up intentionally. Boundaries and intentions help protect and keep what matters in the forefront. They help us honor what we’ve given our yes and no to. Boundaries and intentions also say to ourselves and those around us that this area of my life matters and is important.

For example, if I say that connecting with my family and friends is a value I have, and a deep conviction of mine is to be present with them, then a possible boundary I may set for myself is putting my phone on do not disturb or silent when I’m with friends or family. Another boundary could be keeping my phone in my purse or in another room.

Bottom line: However it may look, showing up to our daily lives starts with a decision, clarity on what our values and convictions are and setting boundaries and intentions that honor and protect showing up to our daily lives.

We are bombarded daily with so many options, opinions and ideals. Showing up to our daily life can be challenging but it is possible. It is possible to live aware of and be intentional with the life we have. When we do, we are able to see more clearly what matters to us. We are able to identify what we do and do not need from our mental space to our living space.

Showing up to our daily life helps us live more slowly and simply because we are no longer bystanders. When we make the decision to show up to our daily life— to live aware and intentionally, we are no longer letting ourselves be defined or swayed by trends and societal expectations. Rather, we set the standard. We define the boundaries and intentions. We become active participants in creating the life we desire.

***

Danae Smith is the founder of This Wondrous Life, a lifestyle blog rooted in pursuing a life lived simply, slowly, and with community. She believes there is more to the mundane than meets the eye. You can also find her on Instagram.

7 Things I Learned While Wearing the Same Dress for 100 Consecutive Days

Note: This is a guest post by Becca Ehrlich of Christian Minimalism.

At the beginning of this year, I wore the same dress for 100 days in a row. Yes, the same dress—every day. For 100 days.

I saw the 100 Day Dress Challenge as a way to break myself of bad spending habits and limiting beliefs around what was actually enough. As a recovering online shopping addict (mostly buying clothes I didn’t really need), I wanted to rid myself of thoughts and behaviors that held me back from simplifying my life and focusing on what’s most important. 

It was a challenging experiment in living with less—and I learned a whole lot. Here are 7 key things I learned:

1. We Need Less Than We Think We Do

Before starting the 100 Day Dress Challenge, I had already pared my wardrobe down to 1/3 of its original size. I definitely saw the benefits of having fewer clothes, but I had the sneaking suspicion that I wasn’t at my “enough” amount just yet.

I was right. Wearing the same dress every day showed me how little I truly need. Most days during the challenge, I only wore the dress with a pair of leggings underneath (it was cold weather where I live for much of the experiment!). The wardrobe pieces I used went down to less than 10 a week, excluding undergarments. 

I don’t think I’d personally want to wear less than 10 clothing pieces a week all the time (and if you do want to, power to you!), but this experiment illustrated just how little we actually need. Our closets tend to be full of clothes that we almost never wear—what if we just had our favorite pieces, and that was it? My “enough” amount of clothing is even less than what I thought it would be, and since finishing the challenge I’ve pared down my wardrobe even more. We need so much less than we think we do. 

2. People Don’t Pay Much Attention

Starting the 100-day experiment of wearing the same dress, I was worried that people would notice and say something. But (except for those who knew about the experiment!) no one noticed. No one. During the whole 100 days.

I even had several job interviews with one potential employer (with many of the same interviewers) over multiple days, and no one noticed or cared that I wore the same dress each day. It was about the interviews and what we talked about—not about the repeat outfit! (In case you’re wondering, I did end up getting the job, proving that wearing the same thing for multiple interviews with one employer can be totally appropriate and doable.)

Turns out, we think people notice us way more than they actually do– it’s called the spotlight effect. Oftentimes we own more clothes and other possessions because we think people will notice repeat clothing and objects. But the reality is that people don’t really notice. We can own less and not worry about other peoples’ reactions about reusing things. And on the off-chance they do notice, it gives us an opportunity to talk about living more minimally!

3. Experiments Are Powerful

One of the best parts about the 100 Day Dress Challenge is that it was a short-term experiment. It gave me an opportunity to try living with a lot less for a designated amount of time, to see what minimalism looks like for me, personally, in my own context. 

Experiments are exactly what they sound like—it’s about playing around with less for short amounts of time to see what makes the most sense for you for the future. We are much more likely to try something for a short amount of time, rather than trying something and saying “OK, this is how my life will be FOREVER.” Experiments are bite-sized ways to try different simplifications in your life, in the short-term. 

Through this 100-day dress experiment, I learned so much about myself and living more simply. Find ways to experiment with simplicity—you may be surprised what you discover!

4. Quality Matters

It’s no secret that fast fashion clothes have a huge impact on our environment and fall apart quickly (so that you buy more). But these clothing pieces are cheap and convenient and make a quick buck, so the fast fashion industry continues. 

Doing this experiment with a merino wool dress that was sustainable, well-made, and temperature regulating meant that I could wear the dress every day and not worry that it would fall apart on my body while I was wearing it or get super disgusting. I also got to do a lot less laundry (merino wool doesn’t hold on to odors like other materials do), which meant more time, energy, and less environmental impact during the challenge. And after I wore the dress for 100 days, the dress still looked almost new!

Clothes that are well-made and of good quality serve us much better in the long-term. Quality clothes are much pricier and less convenient—but when you’re living more minimally and spending less money, you’re better able to both buy quality pieces that will last, and own less clothing pieces altogether.

5. Decision Fatigue is Real

When I started the 100 days, I worried that I would get bored wearing the same thing every day. What I discovered instead is that I loved not having to think about what to wear every morning—I could just grab the dress and go. It saved me time and brainpower that I could use elsewhere in my day.

It sounds a bit funny that not having to choose something to wear each day could make such a huge difference, but decision fatigue is a real thing. We make hundreds of decisions daily, and having one less thing to decide and think about can simplify your morning routine and save that decision-making energy for more important things.

There’s a reason that many high-powered people have chosen to wear the same thing every day. Having a chosen uniform means that you have more decision-making energy when it really matters. Wearing the same dress everyday truly made a difference for me—I felt like I was able to make much better decisions when I had one less decision to make each day.

6. It’s What’s Inside That Counts

There are many clothing phrases that are often used as advice: “Clothes make the [person],” “Dress for success,” etc. Most of these phrases assume that people judge us based on our outer appearance, and we should dress accordingly. They also imply that we are what we wear. I had internalized these advice phrases and wondered if wearing the same thing every day would be a mistake.

But as we’ve already seen through the spotlight effect, people notice what we wear and what we look like a lot less than we expect. Sure, there are some work and social situations where we have to wear something specific. But those particular situations aside, we have the freedom to own and wear a lot less because no one notices or cares. Wearing the same dress every day helped me realized that it’s not about what I put on my body—it’s what’s inside that matters.

Our clothing and our possessions (along with our salary, job title, and net worth) do not define us. We are not what we wear. Our identity is not based on our stuff or our “success.” We are who we are because of our gifts, our skill sets, our personalities. Don’t let things outside of you define who you are.

7. Simplicity Makes Space for What Matters Most

My biggest takeaway from wearing the same dress for 100 days, hands down, has been the basic fact that simplifying your life– even just one aspect of your life– can make more space for what’s most important. Because I wasn’t focusing on what I was putting on my body as much, I had more time, energy, and resources to focus on my family, my writing, and my faith. 

Wearing the same thing every day was a simple change to my routine, but it drastically changed how I functioned the rest of the day. I was able to shorten my morning routine and have a less hurried start to my day—which meant that I was typically much calmer and less stressed. I spent less time and brain space on outward appearances and used that time and brain space for learning and creative activities. And overall, I found myself better able to focus on the most important things just from one simple change.

Imagine if we all simplified one, or even multiple aspects of our lives—what amazing change we would see in how we live and interact with one another! I was shocked that just one basic change could do so much.

Find some ways to experiment with less. It doesn’t have to be 100 days of wearing the same thing; create an experiment that will both work well in your context and also challenge you to simplify. I promise: experimenting and challenging yourself to live with less short-term will help you make space for what’s most important and change your life!

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Becca Ehrlich is a pastor, wife, and writer who holds three masters degrees and a doctorate in theology. She blogs at Christian Minimalism and is the author of Christian Minimalism: Simple Steps for Abundant Living. You can also follow her on Facebook.