Joshua Becker's Blog, page 22

12 Subtle Ways You May Be Wasting Money Without Realizing It

Money is a resource. It provides us with the means to secure our needs and occasionally, a bit of our wants. But if we’re not careful about where our dollars go, they can slip away faster than we expect.

This potential to ‘waste’ money without noticing is a subtle but powerful drain on our resource.

For many of us, it’s not the big, glaring expenses that drain our wallets (although they can). Sometimes, it’s the small, seemingly insignificant ones that, over time, add up and distract our hard-earned money from its maximum potential.

It’s these subtle money drains that we rarely spend time to evaluate.

So, in case you find it helpful, here are twelve subtle ways you might be wasting money:

1. Overspending on Clothing.

The average American family spends nearly $2,000 per year on clothes.

Try to resist the allure of fast fashion and constant wardrobe updates. Choose quality over quantity.

Better yet, consider a capsule wardrobe. Not only will this save you money, but it will also save you time deciding what to wear each day.

2. Size of Your Home.

Bigger isn’t always better. In fact, there are lots of benefits to owning a smaller home.

Downsizing your home can lead to substantial savings in mortgage payments, property taxes, utilities, and maintenance.

3. Recurring Subscriptions.

These can quickly add up. Do you have magazine subscriptions you never read? Streaming services you rarely use? Apps that automatically renew?

Take a moment to review these and cancel the ones that no longer serve you. It takes only a few clicks on your phone to check for recurring subscriptions that you don’t use.

4. Not Monitoring Utility Usage.

When was the last time you evaluated your home energy use? Maybe every time you get your bill. But let me rephrase the question: When was the last time you tried out less energy use (changing the thermostat or looking at electricity use in your home).

Are you mindful of your energy usage? Do you turn off lights when you leave the room? Could you be more efficient with your heating and cooling? Small changes can lead to big savings over time.

5. Frequent Eating Out.

Eating out is convenient, but it’s often an area where we waste more money than we realize.

Try meal planning, cooking at home, and packing lunches. You’ll be surprised at the savings. The cost saving of eating at home is one of the best financial lessons I ever learned from my parents.

6. Not Using a Library.

Books, magazines, movies, music—your local library has it all.

7. Paying for Unused Memberships.

Gym memberships, magazine subscriptions, monthly boxes, even monthly car wash subscriptions.

If you aren’t fully utilizing these services, or worse yet, if you’ve forgotten you’re still paying for them, it’s time to reevaluate. By cutting back or canceling unused memberships and subscriptions, you could save a significant amount annually.

8. Buying Brand Names.

There are many products where the store brand is just as good (if not better) than the national brand.

Clothes are a great example. Too often, people pay a premium just for the privilege of become a walking billboard.

But this goes for everything from groceries to medication.

9. Not Utilizing Credit Card Rewards.

If you’re going to use a credit card, make sure you’re getting the most out of it.

But remember to pay off the balance each month to avoid costly interest fees.

10. Ignoring Your Health.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, as they say. And it costs a whole lot less.

Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and routine check-ups can prevent costly medical bills in the future.

11. Wasting Food.

The average American family of four wastes around $1,500 worth of food each year, with Americans discarding close to one-third of all food purchases.

To avoid wasting food, and thus money, consider planning your meals, regularly checking your refrigerator and pantry to use items before they expire, or even simplify your meal routine. Being more conscious about our food consumption, we can find another avenue for substantial savings.

12. Not Investing in High-Quality Items.

Sometimes, the cheapest option isn’t the most cost-effective. Investing in high-quality items can save money in the long run as they tend to last longer, reducing the need for replacements.

In fact, that’s one of the most surprising benefits of minimalism—the less you own, the higher quality items you can own.

These small adjustments can make a huge difference in your financial health over time.

And by considering where your money goes, you can make more intentional decisions that align with your values, and find yourself with more financial freedom than you thought possible.

Want to Be a Force For Good in the World? Choose Minimalism.

Note: This is a guest post from Jennifer Newton of Sustain Initiative.

The journey into minimalism often begins with understanding the power of less: How less clutter makes room for more connection, how less shopping frees up space for meaningful relationships, how fewer calendar commitments help us prioritize what really matters.

It’s no secret that there are numerous, life-giving benefits for adopting minimalist practices in your own life. But the benefits of minimalism extend far beyond ourselves. Here are just a few ways minimalism empowers us to be a force for good:

Reigning in consumerism protects the Earth’s resources and people

You don’t have to look far to find heartbreaking images of plastic pollution washing up on beaches or young children playing in the recycling and toxic waste exported from the United States to less privileged countries. In the face of these images, most of us want to make decisions that are kinder to people and the planet, even if we don’t know where to start.

Researchers have identified what they call a value-action gap, where even people who profess to feel strongly about certain issues—such as sustainability—don’t always act on these values in practice. In many cases, this is because the shift feels too overwhelming or the “cost” of making a change seems too high. But if you are an individual who wants to be a more intentional steward of the Earth and its resources, the solution is actually pretty straightforward.

The average American produces 4.5 pounds of trash per day… adding up to over 60 tons of landfill waste over the course of the average life. Want to produce less waste? Buy less.

170 million children are working in unsafe labor conditions to keep up with demand for fast fashion that is worn, on average, 7 times before being thrown away. Want to stop supporting child labor? Buy less.

Up to 60% of global greenhouse gas emissions come from the manufacturing and use of household goods and services. Want to cut your carbon footprint? Buy less.

Of course, buying less isn’t the only way you can care for the Earth and its people. But when the most effective personal change is also the one that will simplify your home and your life, well, that’s a win-win.

Buying less allows us to buy better

Each and every one of us consume things: Clothes, books, toys, and kitchenware over-flow from closets and cabinets in the average home. We buy ever-more things at ever-lower prices, then wonder why our homes are so cluttered.

But when we buy less, we can afford to buy better. When we clear our closets of clutter and stop the cycle of thoughtless consuming, we make the space in our lives—and, eventually, our budgets— to make more intentional choices.

We can choose to ‘buy for life’ when selecting furniture, cookware, or other household items, instead of spending less upfront on things that are destined for landfill.

We can commit to purchasing fair trade and ethically produced products instead of financing companies that pollute waterways or engage in unsafe labor practices.

We can support the small business down the street, helping our neighbors stay afloat even when they can’t beat out the ‘sale’ pricing of a giant retailer.

Every purchase we make is a tangible vote with our dollars for the kind of world we want to live in. Let’s use that power wisely.

Holding possessions with an open hand is an act of love

Holding our possessions with an open hand means letting things flow into our life as they are needed, then letting them gracefully exit our life when they are not.

We are programmed by advertising and consumer culture to maintain a tight grip over our stuff. We tell ourselves that we deserve the new car, that we earned the shopping spree, or that the late-night Shein binge was somehow self-care (note: shopping is never self-care).

But if I stop thinking about physical possessions—even those I paid for, clean, and repair—as “mine,” I break free from the consumer cycle of chasing more expensive, more luxurious, or simply more things in search of happiness.

Instead, try thinking of yourself as a steward of your physical possessions: Here to use them, care for and maintain them, and then pass them on responsibly when they have served their purpose in your life.

When we become stewards rather than consumers, our identities are no longer tangled up in what we own, giving us more space to be compassionate and generous people.

As a consumer, letting go of your stuff may feel like you are giving up on the status you have assigned to material objects (even if they no longer fit your life); but as a steward, letting go simply means you care for an object—and the people who could benefit from it—enough that you don’t want to abandon it in a storage closet.

Being a lived example of intentionality is a gift to those around us

One of the biggest gifts that minimalism gives is the ability to craft a life on our own terms. But when we are a lived example of practicing our values, it empowers those around us to do the same.

When our loved ones see us lean into a passion project, opt out of calendar commitments that don’t serve our calling, or set down our phones to connect—they are watching what really matters to us.

When our neighbor sees us expanding our family without expanding our square footage, they know that bigger isn’t always better.

When the people in our life see us make the time for wonder and adventure—whether it’s traipsing across the globe or watching birds in our backyard—they are reminded that joy isn’t something you can add to your Amazon cart.

My version of an intentional life won’t look exactly like anyone else’s—nor should it. But when we begin to experience the joys of less for ourselves, the world benefits from more: More intentionality, more generosity, and more stewardship. More good. 

***

Jennifer Newton is a wife, mom of two, and passionate about and helping you live a life in alignment with your values. You can find more of her work at Sustain Initiative, a blog about how to make decisions that are better for people and better for the planet. You can also follow her on Substack here.

How You Spend Your Morning Matters

“The first hour is the rudder of the day.” — Henry Ward Beecher

Over the course of my life, I have found that this quote by Henry Ward Beecher (which I first heard about 15 years ago) is entirely true.

I will say, however, that I believe the morning routine we set up for ourselves is even more important than just the first hour. Whenever I feel like I am at my most productive self, it is because I have chosen to take hold of the first hours of the day, rather than letting them take control of me—or even worse, slip away underutilized.

How we spend our morning matters. And not just for the rest of that day, but for the life we desire to live.

And I believe this to be true for everyone, regardless of their season in life, current role, or future ambitions.

Whether you desire to be an intentional parent, an ambitious CEO, a diligent student, or a creative artist, recognizing the opportunity of your mornings can significantly help you get there.

The decisions we make in the morning set the sails for the direction of the day.

For me personally, for the last two years, my morning routine has not changed. I start around 6 AM. First thing I do every weekday is go to the gym—prioritizing my health, self-care, and kickstarting my body for the day. Then I eat a healthy breakfast, followed by a personal time of devotion, mediation, and quiet solitude.

For me, I have found that those three actions set my body, my mind, and my heart in the right place for the day ahead.

My “workday” typically starts at 9am. And my first project is almost always the most important task that I need to accomplish that day. Today, for example, I am writing this article. (It’s 10:20am right now as I write this sentence).

None of the times listed here are important. I like to get up at 6am and worked hard to become someone who can get up early because it was something that I always wanted to be true of me. But don’t mistake the point of this article. I am not saying everyone needs to wake up early. Each person’s body-clock is set a bit differently.

What I am saying here is that if you want to be the best version of yourself, bringing about the greatest good for the greatest number of people, it starts by being intentional in the morning.

Intentionality, at the very beginning of every day, sets the tone for your day and life. Because when you command your morning, you can conquer your day.

Your morning routine will look different than mine.

Craft one that serves you and your goals.

Regardless of how you structure yours, here are a few suggestions to help you seize your mornings:

1. Try to wake up at the same time every day (at least every weekday).

Consistency is key in establishing a routine. It’s just really difficult to establish a morning routine if you’re waking up at a different time every day.

Plus, choosing when to wake up is the first action of control that you can take over your day.

Waking up at the same time will also help your body establish a stable rhythm and enhance your overall sleep quality.

2. Prioritize physical health.

You’ll find a routine that works for you. But I strongly suggest making sure you prioritize physical health at some point during it.

Whether it’s physical exercise or just making sure to eat a healthy, energy-giving breakfast, taking care of your body in the morning is essential. Your physical body is the instrument through which you make a difference in the world.

3. Plan your day the night before.

Knowing what’s on your agenda when you wake up can eliminate early morning decision fatigue, allowing you to get to work more efficiently. It’ll also help you get out of bed in the morning knowing what you are intending to accomplish that day.

I always recommend a 3-Item To Do List.

4. Find time for reflection or meditation.

A moment of calm before the storm of the day can do wonders for your mental well-being. And it can help you approach the day with a more positive and focused mindset.

For me, this is a spiritual exercise that consists of religious reading, meditation, and prayer. But of course, finding time for reflection and meditation is important for everyone—regardless of their faith or nonfaith background.

5. Dress for the day.

Even if you’re working from home, getting dressed can signal your brain that it’s time to get serious.

It’s a psychological trick that can help increase productivity. There’s also research done on the topic that shows getting ready can boost happiness and mood.

6. Tackle the most important task first.

“Eat the frog” is a saying that many people use concerning time management. As it is often referred to as “accomplish your toughest task first thing in the day.”

But that is not actually the meaning of the phrase. Brian Tracy, who wrote the book, explains it as “accomplishing your most important task.”

In the morning, I seek to accomplish the most important thing that I need to do that day. Sometimes it’s the most challenging task, but not always.

Working on it first helps me prioritize (and even schedule) my most important work.

A successful day doesn’t necessarily mean crossing off the most number of things from your to-do list. A successful day is crossing the right things off your to-do list.

The significance of how you spend your morning cannot be overstated.

It’s about more than just routine; it’s about purposefully shaping your day and life.

Regardless of the role you play in the world, how you use your morning affects your effectiveness in your chosen pursuit.

Your morning matters, so take charge of it.

The ship of your life needs a captain doing the steering.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is a lifestyle choice that reaps countless benefits.

Choosing to live a minimalist life isn’t just about decluttering your space—it’s about reclaiming your time, money, and energy for the things that truly matter. 

But the path to simplicity is often against the current of our culture that values more and encourages consumerism. So it’s important to surround ourselves with messages and stories that remind us of the benefits of this chosen path. 

With that in mind, I’ve curated a collection of articles that I believe will inspire and encourage you on your journey to a simpler, more intentional life. Settle down in a quiet moment this weekend and enjoy these reads.

Is Minimalism Right for You: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself | No Sidebar. Here are 10 introspective questions to ask yourself if you are on the fence about minimalism.

Creating a Culture of Slow: 8 Ways to Transform the Pace of Your Home | Rich in What Matters by Julia Ubbenga. Our family culture needed to change—I felt this at my core. We needed to slow down. Way down.

I’m a Professional Declutterer. Here are 3 Tips For Year-Round Spring Cleaning. | Insider by Julia Williamson. I’m a decluttering expert and think decluttering should happen all year long.

Netflix’s MINIMALISM Documentary Is Coming to YouTube | The Minimalists. After seven years and 80 million views on Netflix, The Minimalists’ first documentary, Minimalism, is coming to YouTube on June 18, 2023.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

10 Scientific Studies that Will Encourage You to Own Less | YouTube by Joshua Becker. If you ever find yourself needing a little bit of extra motivation to own less and embrace a more minimalist lifestyle, here are ten studies on minimalism that show how it is beneficial.

That Person is More Important Than Your Phone | YouTube by Joshua Becker. I appreciate all the positive changes phones have brought into my life. But too often, they distract us from the people around us—both friends and strangers.

7 Reasons to Slow Down During the Summer

Almost two decades ago, a mentor gave me a piece of advice that has stuck with me since:

Slow down your life, at least a little bit, during the summer months.

This advice was delivered while I was living in Vermont, a place known for its harsh winters and beautiful summers (and gorgeous Fall colors). And so it made perfect sense that we’d make a point to enjoy the wonderful weather while it was around.

But while the advice was given in a specific climate, it resonated with me on a deeper level, and I think it holds relevance for everyone, regardless of where you live.

Even today, living in Phoenix, in the desert, the principle is something I practice: Slow down, at least a little bit, during the summer months.

Summer offers a wonderful opportunity to ease our pace, recharge our batteries, and reconnect with what truly matters. This isn’t advice about completely stopping our work or responsibilities; rather, it’s about dialing back, shifting gears, and making room for moments that can enrich our lives.

If you’re someone who clocks in long hours at work every week, this advice is particularly for you—especially if you have children at home.

But really, anyone can benefit from the spirit of slowing down—be it using your vacation days, leaving earlier in the afternoon, extending your weekend, or just not taking on a new project at work.

Here are seven compelling reasons why we should all embrace a slower summer pace:

1. To Enjoy the Good Weather

Let’s be honest, the warm weather just calls us to be outdoors.

Research suggests that being outdoors can improve mental health, increase vitamin D levels, and reduce stress. But we can’t reap these benefits if we’re cooped up indoors working all the time.

2. To Connect with Family

Most parents get only 18 summers with their children before they grow up. That’s not a lot of time.

Summer offers precious moments to connect with our children, create memories, and strengthen our familial bonds. Some of my most lasting memories with my parents occurred during summer months.

They won’t be little forever. Make this summer count.

3. To Leverage the Longer Days

Summers gift us with more daylight hours, providing the perfect backdrop for relaxed, unhurried evenings.

It’s the best time to sit on your porch, ride bikes with your kids, take a stroll with your spouse, spend time with neighbors, go get some ice cream, or attend your kids’ t-ball game.

Embracing these slower moments can boost our mood and improve our overall well-being.

4. To Find a Natural Rhythm to the Year

We’re often so engrossed in our work and routines that we lose touch with the natural rhythms of life.

Slowing down in the summer, picking up pace in the fall, taking a short break during the holidays, and then pushing hard through the spring—this cycle mirrors the ebb and flow of nature.

Aligning with this rhythm can bring a sense of balance and harmony to our lives.

5. To Reevaluate and Reorient Our Lives

Slowing down creates space for reflection, a chance to evaluate our priorities, and align our actions with what matters most to us. The typical hustle and bustle of life often leaves little room for introspection.

Slowing down during the summer gives us the opportunity to step back, assess our life’s trajectory, and make necessary adjustments.

6. To Reconnect with Friends

With vacations and social gatherings, summer is also a great time to reconnect with friends.

These social interactions play a crucial role in promoting emotional health.

Sometimes they are expensive outings, but they don’t need to be. Frisbee in the park can be just as rejuvenating as a week on the beach.

7. Summer provides an opportunity to learn and grow.

Slowing down a bit during the summer, with its more relaxed pace, offers an opportunity to invest time in personal growth. This could mean reading that book you’ve put off, learning a new skill, or even starting a hobby.

By dialing back, we can dedicate a portion of our time to self-improvement that might get neglected during the busier times of the year. And the best part? This learning can occur while we’re lounging on the porch, chilling in the backyard, while on vacation, or sipping lemonade with a friend at the park.

So, whether you’re a parent eager to create lasting memories with your kids, a hard worker needing a break, or just someone who wants to enjoy the beauty of summer, slowing down could be your ticket to a more fulfilling season.

This summer, trade speed for stillness and schedules for sunsets.

How Contentment Leads to Ambition

Contentment can easily be misunderstood.

Before I jump into the misunderstanding that many people have concerning it, let me begin by saying that contentment is desired by most people.

A definition might be helpful. To be content is to feel or show satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation.

And there is a beautiful freedom that accompanies contentment: a freedom to be who you are, enjoy who you are, and live the life you were destined to live.

Most people, I believe, desire to be content with what they have.

But there still exists, it seems to me, a sneaking suspicion that contentment might lead to complacency. “If I was satisfied with all that I have, I would lose the drive to succeed,” some might think. And this whisper of uncertainty holds some people back.

For others, their fear of complacency results in them arguing against the entire idea of contentment. But I have found the exact opposite to be true.

Contentment isn’t about giving up or not wanting more. It’s actually a powerful force that can lay the groundwork and the inspiration to reach higher heights than we ever dreamed.

Contentment doesn’t squelch ambition. Contentment fuels it.

Contentment isn’t about settling. It’s about recognizing what you already have, valuing it, and deciding to make the most out of it.

And correctly understood, it’s acknowledging that while you have enough, you also have so much potential that’s waiting to be unlocked.

Here’s how:

When we are content, we better focus our energy on what truly matters. When we’re no longer pursuing endless material acquisitions, we’re able to redirect our efforts towards our passions. We get to invest our time, our resources, and ourselves in the things that bring real meaning and fulfillment in our lives.

Contentment leads us to make deliberate choices about how we spend our lives. No longer are we running the rat race, trying to keep up with everyone else. We choose our own path—embracing what gives us meaning, and letting go of what doesn’t.

A mindset of abundance brings ambition because we are not acting out of scarcity, but out of gratitude for what we already have, enthusiasm for what we can achieve, and a desire to share our gifts with others.

Even more, contentment compels us to redefine success. When we are no longer tied down by society’s expectations of what we should be or how we should spend our time and money, we’re free to set our own goals and aspirations. We get to decide what matters to us, what success looks like, and what kind of life we want to lead.

And contentment sparks perseverance. You see, as we learn to be satisfied with what we have, we become better equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs. We’re more prepared to tackle obstacles and to persist in the face of adversity because nobody’s life has been perfectly easy, and yet the secret of contentment was found.

It would be wise for all of us to redefine what it means to be content. Contentment isn’t about giving up on our dreams or settling for less. It’s about appreciating what we have, recognizing our potential, dreaming even bigger dreams for our lives, and channeling our resources into our most meaningful ambitions.

Contentment doesn’t drain ambition from our lives. It fuels it.

—

Related reading: Contentment: How to Find This Unmistakable Freedom

Why You’ll Never Miss Consumerism: 15 Revelations from Minimalism

Fifteen years ago, I was introduced to minimalism by my neighbor, and it forever changed my outlook on life.

The concept is simple, but incredibly rich.

By choosing to own less, I free up my life for more important pursuits than chasing and accumulating material possessions.

This paradigm shift began freeing me from the cycle of excess consumerism that, up until that point, had been unintentionally stealing more of my time and money than I ever realized.

This minimalist journey certainly goes against the grain of society’s push to buy, buy, and buy some more. But the more people I meet who’ve taken this path, the more convinced I become of its lasting benefits.

In case it helps motivate you today to consider the life-changing reasons to embrace a minimalist lifestyle…

Here are 15 reasons why, once you embrace minimalism, you’ll never want to return to excess consumerism.

1. The Freedom of Owning Less.

This is where it begins. Shedding the excess stuff offers a freedom you never knew was available. It’s like taking off a heavy backpack you didn’t realize you were carrying. Suddenly, you’re lighter, more mobile, and free to explore what life has to offer.

You’ll never know the weight of your possessions until you begin to remove them.

2. You’re No Longer in the Rat Race.

Excess consumerism can feel like a never-ending competition, a race for the next big thing with a finish line that never appears.

Breaking free from the race offers an amazing sense of peace.

3. More Money for Experiences.

When you stop spending on things you don’t need, you’ll find you have more resources to spend on experiences that enrich your life and create lasting memories.

4. The Understanding that Buying Doesn’t Bring Happiness.

The hollow promise of consumerism is that happiness is one purchase away. In reality, it’s a mirage that constantly moves further away.

The minimalist lifestyle teaches us that true joy and contentment comes from elsewhere—not from what we own.

5. More Time for Your Passions.

Less time spent shopping and managing possessions means more time to pursue the things you genuinely love.

6. Your Home Becomes More Peaceful.

Without clutter, your home becomes a place of rest, rejuvenation, and connection. It’s a sanctuary, not a storage unit.

Your home becomes a safe haven for rest so you can live your life outside the home to its fullest.

7. You Start Living More Intentionally.

By choosing to own less, you’re actually choosing to live more—more intentionally, more purposefully, and more fully.

8. Better Focus.

When you own less, you remove visual clutter from your home and life.

Even more, when your life isn’t dominated by acquiring and managing stuff, you’ll find you have a clearer mind to focus on the important things in life.

9. Less Environmental Impact.

Living with less means consuming less. And that’s good news for all of us—whether that is something you are passionate about or not.

10. Greater Generosity.

When you stop focusing on your needs, you begin to see the needs of others more clearly. And it provides you with financial and time margin to meet those needs more than ever before.

11. Less Stress.

Fewer possessions mean fewer things to worry about. As Randy Alcorn wrote, “Every increased possession adds anxiety to your lives.”

It’s amazing how much stress can be alleviated by the simple act of decluttering.

12. Greater Appreciation for What You Have.

When you aren’t continually reaching for more, you find gratitude for what you already possess.

This gratitude cultivates a rich sense of contentment.

13. Freedom from the Need to Impress.

One of the liberating truths you’ll discover through minimalism is that owning a bunch of nice stuff is less impressive than you think—and you’ll never fully impress people with what you own.

Impress people with who you are, not what you have.

14. Learning to Find Identity Outside of Possessions.

You are more than what you own. When you step away from consumerism, you start to see your true worth and identity shine through.

15. A More Fulfilled Life.

At the end of the day, living with less allows you to lead a life of more fulfillment by focusing your time and money of pursuits with purpose.

Once you’ve embraced minimalism and enjoyed the benefits, you’ll understand why going back to the chaos of excess consumerism just isn’t an option.

And as you move forward on your minimalist journey, remember that it’s not about what we own, but how we live. Minimalism frees us to live better.

Let Go of Fear and Learn to Be Intentional

Note: This is a guest post from Sarah Horgan of Simple + Intentional.

“Intentional days create a life on purpose.” —Adrienne Enns

I didn’t grow up knowing how to be intentional. I don’t think I even knew what the word meant. In fact, I was completely unintentional about most of the decisions I made in life, if I made any at all.

Maybe, as you’re reading this, you can relate. Or perhaps you had the opposite, someone driving the bus in your life. Making a lot of decisions for you with certain goals in mind? Wanting the best for you but taking control instead of involving you in the process.

You’ll go to law school, make lots of money so you can buy a big house. Get married, have kids and on and on and on. And maybe, you even achieved those goals but they felt empty. Not lining up with who YOU are.

These two stories are ones I hear again and again. Either life just sort of happened to you or there were some serious goals set in place but they weren’t YOUR goals. The desire to please others over ourselves, do or appear in a way that is like-able or achieve success that we think will bring us happiness sets a path. Neither one of which was an intentional one.

Fear isn’t the root of an intentional life

I’m the first one. I had little guidance, any decisions I made were left entirely up to me and were rooted in wanting others to be proud of me. I hadn’t developed the skill of thinking forward or digging deep into what I really wanted. Beyond security. Fear was my number one driver. Seek comfort, seek security, find safety, chase love, you’ll be okay.

But fear is not the root of growth. It’s not a place to create a life from. It weighs you down, keeps you stuck. And it took getting diagnosed with stage 4 cancer to start to shake me out of it.

It was with that diagnosis that I began to understand some big ideas that changed my life.

Perfect + Nice

I had long identified as a perfectionist. Prided myself on being a ‘nice’ person, well liked. But what I hadn’t dug into was the realization that perfectionism isn’t actually a good thing. Nor is people pleasing.

I looked at it like I was setting a high bar, having high standards isn’t a bad thing, right? And of course I want to be nice! But the problem with both of those things is they detract from an ability to live intentionally and be yourself.

Living involves taking action. And perfectionism is the biggest roadblock to action because nothing will ever be perfect. So we fail to launch when we’re never happy with what we create. And people pleasing puts other’s feelings and needs before our own. It’s a hustle for acceptance that never ends.

Take a moment and think, what haven’t you done because of perfectionism and people pleasing?

Publicly share any kind of creative projectTake risks in social situations or share opinionsDress according to how you feel vs what you think you ‘should’ wearFollow a dream of yours because it’s ‘silly’ or those you love won’t accept it

Or what have you spent way too much time and energy on trying to achieve perfection and acceptance?

What your home looks like or the car you driveYour physical appearance; how you dress, your makeup, hair, etcYour kids extracurricularsYour job title, where you live or the size of your houseWho you spend your time withHow you spend your timeHow to live more intentionally

In order to live a life that is more intentional, rooted in what matters to us (as individuals), we must shed the need for external recognition. So how do we do that?

Through small intentional action, practicing thinking new thoughts and deeply examining what matters to us most. And it’s a process.

“An unintentional life accepts everything and does nothing. An intentional life embraces only the things that will add to the mission of significance.” —John c. Maxwell

We aren’t going to let go of our perfectionist tendencies overnight or our desire to please others but what we can do overnight is choose new ways of responding.

Think new thoughts

When we feel that pull to say yes when we mean no or get stalled up in perfection we can tell ourselves something different. Like:

Done is better than perfectMaking mistakes is how I growWhat I look like does not define my valueI am loved no matter whatI am creating my best life by taking actionIt’s okay to say no. I’m saying yes to what mattersI can’t do everything. Saying no is necessaryIf everything is important than nothing isUnderstanding what we want

We also need to build a deep understanding of what we actually want. And although this seems simple, it’s not. Especially if you’ve never practiced thinking about it before. You may have no idea what you want. So you have to try things to find out.

What do you feel a pull to do? Volunteer, get more active, build community or be creative? How do you want to do those things? And then try it out!

And this is where you start to really let go of perfectionism and people pleasing, is through taking action. Discovering, being open to new things and making decisions.

Small intentional action

And this is how minimalism came to me because the more decisions I made, the more I realized what mattered. And the more I realized what mattered, the less I needed to hold on to. I learned what my stuff represented – my fear. So the less I feared, the more I got rid of.

I told myself over and over again, “Done is better than perfect. It’s okay if you make a mistake. You are safe.” And I started to believe it. So what if I got rid of something I needed? The world is full of stuff, I can find it again. I learned to trust myself and know that if I had the itch to let go of something—I was right. I learned what added to my life and what got in the way.

And the other side of all that stuff was freedom. Freedom of mind, freedom of space and freedom of time. I no longer needed to spend my weekends cleaning and organizing. I didn’t experience anxiety over things going wrong. I felt more at peace and finally had time to pursue what had meaning for me.

All that scarcity left me, ironically, as I had fewer things. The less clinging, the more confidence and security I felt. I had given myself empowerment. I had started to CREATE my life instead of just waking up everyday. And it allowed me to become who I am. Who I really am, not who I’m pretending to be to hustle for love and acceptance.

So if you can relate to any of this. Feel even the slightest flutter in your gut or you’ve nodded your head once while reading. Try it!

Try letting go of somethingTry putting yourself out thereTry showing up for YOUTry being messy

I promise you the risk is worth it. Here in lies gratitude, peace, fulfillment, purpose and love. It took almost dying for me to get here and a lot of bumps along the way but I’m grateful for it all.

So ask yourself what do you want? And then chase it. Don’t worry what others think because this is not their life, it’s yours. And you get one, so create it with intention to be the best that it can be.

***

Sarah Horgan is a coach, wife, mom, and cancer survivor. You can find more of her work at Simple + Intentional, an inspiring blog about choosing what matters to you and learning how to let go of the rest. And I recommend following her on Instagram here.

You Matter to Me

I want you to know you matter to me.

In a world filled with noise and superficiality, this may seem like just another statement. But, it’s not. I mean it.

You matter to me. And I wanted to take an article to make sure you know that.

Whenever I sit down to write, I have you in mind.

I don’t write for a faceless crowd, to rank high on Google, or with a clickbait title just hoping to drive clicks to a website. I write for you—individuals who have made an intentional choice for simplicity and a life that resonates with authenticity and meaning.

You matter to me because you are trying to live the best life that you can live—just like me. You want to be an engaged parent, a better friend, a more effective leader, a better neighbor, or a more engaged member of your faith community—passionately active in the lives of the people around you.

You’ve determined there are more important pursuits in life than material possessions. And so you are here, reading these articles and these ideas, because you value life’s quality over the quantity of stuff in it. And so you inspire me.

You pursue owning less to elevate your greatest values. So do I.

You matter to me because of the bold steps you’ve taken to embrace a countercultural lifestyle, working hard to push back against a culture that surrounds us and begs to acquire more and more.

You are here because you have decided life is too valuable to waste chasing and accumulating material possessions. Why else would you be reading this blog except that you dream of something bigger and greater.

That matters to me.

And you matter to me.

Please know that I work hard to show up for you with messages that inspire, motivate, encourage, and challenge all of us—myself included—to live an intentional life focused on things that matter.

I think a lot of times these types of messages can fall into, “I appreciate you because you support my work and allow me to do what I do.” And while that is true, that is not what I am saying today.

This is about me articulating something I don’t say enough: I truly care about you.

It means a lot to me that you are part of this community. It means even more that you have the courage to show up and live in alignment with a philosophy that values authenticity over acquisition.

My role in the world, as I see it, is to encourage and inspire people to own less and live more. That’s my passion and my commitment. As you read these articles every week, you are an active participant in this mission. You represent a change in the world—a shift in priorities and passion.

In this journey towards minimalism and intentional living, I want you to know that you are seen, you are appreciated, and you matter.

You are more than a comment or a message in my inbox, you are a real person, flesh and blood, on the other side of the keyboard sending me that message. And I read them all.

And for that reason, I care about you.

Even though we’ve never met, I want you to know today, and every day, that you matter to me.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Your home is your sanctuary. Let’s keep it that way.

Simplicity is about creating space in your life for what matters most. It’s about clearing the clutter from our homes and hearts so we can live with intention and purpose. 

As the world gets busier and noisier, embracing simplicity and minimalism becomes even more important.

But we all need inspiration to keep us going. That’s why I carefully selected these articles for you. I hope they inspire you to continue on this beautiful journey towards a simpler life. 

Find a cozy spot, prepare your favorite drink, and immerse yourself in these thought-provoking reads this weekend.

The Financial And Personal Rewards Of Decluttering Your Life | Forbes by Joshua Becker. Minimalism is an invitation to dream bigger dreams for our lives, reassess our approach to consumption, redefine our values, and carve out room for the things that truly matter.

10 Simple Habits to Maintain a Clutter-Free Home | No Sidebar. The goal isn’t to create a home that’s simply empty, but one that is filled with purpose, meaning, and peace.

10 Daily Habits that Often Waste 90 Percent of Our Time | Marc and Angel Hack Life by Angel Chernoff. Regardless of your unique life situation or how you personally define success, you can’t become an overnight success. You become successful over time from all the little things you do one day at a time.

Rage Against The Off-Site Storage | Living Small by Laura Fenton. Storage units are so often a home for things that we think *might* be valuable. They make it easy to delay dealing with things we no longer need or use.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

10 Financial Decisions You’ll Regret 10 Years From Now | YouTube by Joshua Becker. When it comes to the decisions we make with our money, our choices today create the reality of our tomorrow. They are the building blocks that shape our future.

Why It’s Important To Work Hard | YouTube by Joshua Becker. I enjoy hard work. I find happiness and joy in it. And I believe, without a doubt in my mind, those who feel the most fulfilled at the end of their lives are those who have chosen to work hard during it.

Other Resources

1440. Are you tired of biased news? Try 1440. It’s a daily digest of all the most important info in culture, science, sports, politics, business, and everything in between—presented without bias. It’s the fastest way to an informed and impartial point-of-view. I’ve been reading it and loving it—and thought you might too.