Joshua Becker's Blog, page 19

15 Things That Weigh More the Longer You Carry Them

If you read this blog regularly, you know I write a lot about how too much stuff can weigh us down. But this blog has never been just about cleaning out your garage or donating old clothes. It’s about removing distractions and lightening the load in every part of life.

Sometimes what drags us down isn’t a bunch of things in a closet. It’s what’s going on inside us. Feelings and worries can weigh a lot too, and the longer you carry them, the heavier they get.

For example, here are 15 things you might be carrying inside you that can get pretty heavy over time—especially the longer you’ve been carrying them.

15 Things That Weigh More the Longer You Carry Them1. Unforgiveness

Harboring resentment toward someone is like clenching a rock in your outstretched hand. The longer you hold onto it, the heavier it feels.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, freeing you from that weight.

2. Debt

Financial debt can be suffocating—and because of interest, it often increases stress over time. Not dealing with it can result in a life that feels both tight and limited.

Address it head-on, create a plan, and relieve that burden.

3. Pride

The weight of our own ego often blinds us to our own faults. Pride makes us defensive and prevents us from growing. Admitting we don’t know it all is liberating, lightens our emotional load, and provides opportunity to find help.

4. Negative Self-Image

Feeling bad about yourself consumes a lot of mental energy. Every time you look in the mirror and feel discontent, it adds to that weight.

The first step toward change is acceptance and love for who you are now. You’re not perfect—nobody is. But if you’re trying your best, you deserve more credit than you give yourself.

5. Perfectionism

The constant quest for perfection can be a never-ending cycle that only sets you up for disappointment. Over time, it steals joy and adds undue stress to your life.

Pursue progress, not perfection. After all, the only way to achieve perfection is to start making progress.

6. Fear of Failure

The fear of failure can paralyze us into inaction. The longer we hold onto this fear, the more we deprive ourselves of opportunities for growth and happiness.

I believe so strongly in the importance of recognizing this distraction, I included an entire chaper on the distraction of fear in Things That Matter.

7. Procrastination

The burden of tasks left undone can grow heavier each day. They hang over us, affecting our mood and our confidence.

Take the first step, no matter how small.

8. Regret

When we live in the past, we carry the weight of our previous mistakes.

Learning from them is beneficial, but dwelling on them is detrimental.

9. Jealousy

Jealousy often creates a cycle of negative thinking and unproductive actions. The longer you allow jealousy to linger, the more it will tarnish your happiness.

Here’s how to overcome it.

10. Social Comparisons

The need to keep up with others takes a toll. Social media doesn’t help, as it presents an unattainable standard. Limit your consumption and focus on your own journey.

11. Negativity

Negative thoughts attract negative outcomes. The more you focus on what could go wrong, the less room you have for positive actions and reactions.

12. Unfulfilling Relationships

Relationships that don’t add value to our lives end up draining our energy. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to walk away. It is certainly important that we have relationships where we selflessly serve and love, but there are times when holding onto a relationship is only adding weight.

13. Guilt and Shame

While they serve as indicators that we’ve done something wrong, prolonged feelings of guilt and shame can be debilitating. Seek to make amends, find a remedy, and then let them go.

14. Unresolved Conflict

Conflict that is not dealt with becomes heavier over time. Address issues directly and honestly, aiming for resolution and a lighter emotional state.

15. The Need to Be Right

The need to always be right can isolate us and make every interaction a power struggle. Being wrong occasionally doesn’t make you less of a person. In fact, it makes you a smarter one.

If any of these burdens resonate with you, take action today. Even if it’s a small step, it’s still progress.

I assure you, on the other side of these burdens is a life of peace, joy, and purpose. So start unloading these weights today and feel the freedom and lightness that come with it.

Debunking 10 Myths About Minimalism

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” —Epicurus

As someone who’s experienced the life-giving benefits of minimalism, I can’t help but desire to introduce others to this life-changing philosophy.

However, over the years, I’ve heard quite a few objections to the idea of living a minimalist lifestyle.

If you’re reading this article because you’re curious about minimalism but are still on the fence, I want to address some of the common objections people often have about embracing minimalism.

Objections might be the right word, but myths is probably even better—as most of the objections I hear about minimalism don’t turn out to be true.

My hope is to simply challenge some of the myths you might be holding onto.

1. “I Don’t Want to Give Up Everything”

This is perhaps the most common objection. But minimalism doesn’t ask you to give up everything—only the things that aren’t adding value to your life.

You get to decide what’s essential and meaningful to you. Even better, you get to decide which distractions are keeping you from fully-living… and those are the things you choose to remove.

2. “It’s Only for Single, Young People”

Minimalism has no age or relationship status limit. Whether you’re single, married, young, or old, the principles of minimalism can be applied to your life.

My wife and I found minimalism when our two children were young (5 and 2).

Minimalism has allowed us to enjoy more quality time, meaningful moments, and less stress.

3. “Minimalism Is a Fad”

It’s true that the term “minimalism” has gained popularity over the years, but the core principles are timeless. I hope, in part, because of Becoming Minimalist.

But the idea of living a focused, purposeful life is as old as time itself. Think about it, many of the world’s great philosophers and spiritual leaders emphasized the benefits of a simple, intentional life.

The lifestyle of choosing to intentionally own only what we need to own is as old as life itself.

4. “I Can’t Be a Minimalist Because I Have Kids”

As a parent, I understand this objection intimately. However, minimalism can have incredible benefits for families.

By decluttering our living spaces, we not only make room for more meaningful activities but also model essential life skills for our kids.

As I learned and have repeated from the very beginning, “Kids might make minimalism more difficult, but they also make it more important.”

5. “I Don’t Want to Live in a Bare, White Space”

Minimalism isn’t synonymous with a lack of decoration or color. Your home should reflect your personality and include items that bring you joy.

Minimalism merely helps you identify what actually contributes to your well-being.

6. “Minimalism Is Just Decluttering”

While decluttering is a component of minimalism, it isn’t the end goal. Often, the road to minimalism begins by removing unneeded physical possessions. But the principles quickly extend to other distractions we notice in our lives.

Minimalism isn’t just about what you’re removing but also about what you’re making room for—like purpose, passion, and meaningful connections.

7. “It’s Just for the Wealthy”

Minimalism isn’t just for the rich. In fact, just the opposite. It primarily benefits those with limited financial resources.

After all, you don’t need a lot of money to own only the things you need to own.

The mindset can be particularly useful for those who feel financially strained because it helps you understand what truly deserves your limited financial investment.

8. “I Won’t Be Productive Without My Stuff”

The belief that more stuff equals more productivity is a common fallacy.

In fact, excess often leads to distraction. A minimalist workspace can help you focus on tasks that truly matter, improving your overall productivity.

A related myth is “I need a lot of stuff to be a creative artist.” But again, this is not true. In fact, Orson Welles said it best, “The absence of limitations is the enemy of art.”

9. “I’ll Have No Safety Net”

Simplicity does not mean recklessness. Minimalist living actually provides greater opportunity for safety.

Creating an emergency fund and holding onto genuinely useful items does not conflict with minimalist principles. In fact, both of those things are easier when living a minimalist life. Minimalist living actually provides greater opportunity for safety.

Even more, minimalism encourages you to build a meaningful safety net, one not built on material possessions alone but also on strong relationships and skills.

10. “I Won’t Be Happy Without My Possessions”

It’s a myth we’ve all fallen for: equating material possessions with happiness. But if we take a moment to reflect, we’ll often find that our most treasured memories rarely involve material goods. Instead, they’re built on experiences and relationships, things that minimalism makes room for.

It’s natural, I suppose, to have objections and questions about minimalism. After all, it’s a step away from what society often tells us is the “right way” to live.

But I, and countless others, can attest that once you make room for what truly matters, your life will never be the same.

Minimalism is about creating space for more meaning, joy, and fulfillment. If any of these objections have been holding you back, I urge you to take a small step today—declutter a drawer, spend an hour without your phone, or simply take a moment to consider what’s truly essential in your life.

It’s a journey worth embarking on. And I promise you, on the other side of your objections, lies a life filled with purpose and joy.

You Only Need to Know These 5 (not 105) Cooking Techniques to Become a Better Home Cook

Note: This is a guest post by Bri McKoy.

My first kitchen as a newlywed was nearly the size of a postage stamp and I couldn’t be bothered to consider how to use it for anything but as an extended closet.

That is until I realized eating out for every meal was going to send us into debt.

Learning to cook was incredibly daunting. There was no shortage of cookbooks, food shows, and YouTube tutorials that were filled to the brim with recipes and cooking techniques. I didn’t know where to start. I cooked through several cookbooks (all while simultaneously googling for help, calling my mom, and in the end abandoning all to serve what was becoming my specialty, Dry But You Won’t Die Chicken).

Through so many attempted dishes it occurred to me I was becoming a proficient reader of recipes but a far cry from a confident home cook.

So I decided to learn just a few cooking skills and techniques to see if that could change the game in the kitchen for me, and it did. I went from burning almost everything to food blogging to writing The Cook’s Book (the cookbook I wish I had when I was learning to cook).

Here are five techniques to keep in your apron pocket which will lead to delicious, repeat-worthy recipes.

1. How to Cook in a Pan Without Food Sticking

My first love in the kitchen was a stainless steel pan. I knew the power of this pan would mean delicious sauces, perfectly seared meat, and versatility that would follow me into all my cooking adventures. The problem: I could not figure out how to cook anything in the pan without it sticking. And then I realized that was because I was not properly heating my pan.

When your pan is properly heated the metal turns into a non-stick surface allowing foods to cook to perfection without sticking. You can determine how to properly heat your pan with the water droplet test.

Heat your pan on medium high heat. After 1-2 minutes place ⅛ of a teaspoon of water into the pan (just a small droplet). If it just makes a small puddle, your pan is not hot enough. You are looking for the droplet of water to seamlessly glide around in your pan staying intact as a round bubble of water. Complete this test every 30 seconds until you see the round droplet gliding around the pan (like this):

At this point you can wipe away the droplet, add your oil and meat and cook. Your pan will now cook your food without it sticking! After a few times of doing this test you will know exactly how long to heat your pan and it will become like second nature.

2. How to Get Major Flavor Pay-Off in Simple Dishes

If you want your dish to taste like it has been simmering on the stove all day, deglazing your pan is the secret that keeps on giving. Anytime I am cooking a dish (even if the recipe does not call for it) and I notice some browned food stuck in the pan, I deglaze. Those browned bits are flavor and they even have a culinary term: fond.

To deglaze, take ¼ cup of any liquid of choice (I prefer white wine when cooking with chicken or pork and red wine when cooking with red meat but you can also use stock or water). Slowly pour the liquid on top of the browned bits and work it up using a wood spatula. This will add the most rich flavor to your dish and bonus, it keeps your pans clean too!

3. How to Know if Your Chef’s Knife Needs Sharpening

This tip is more about an essential kitchen tool but it is a game changer when it comes to bringing dishes together. A high-quality, stainless steel chef’s knife can make cooking more efficient. Every time you use your knife the blade slightly dulls. Over time you might notice you require more effort when using your knife. The good news is, this just means you need to get your knife sharpened.

Once or twice a year I will take my knife into a kitchen store (most kitchen stores offer knife sharpening for just a handful of dollars). It doesn’t matter what brand your knife is, where you bought it, or how long it has been since you’ve purchased it, just as long as it is a stainless steel blade.

But how do you know if your knife needs to be sharpened? Simply grab a piece of paper and run your knife down the middle. If it slices through the paper like butter – you have a perfectly sharpened knife! If it catches several times, or runs down the paper jagged – it’s time to get your knife sharpened.

4. How to Season with Salt

I like to think of salt as the spotlight for a dish. Think of a grand play: all the actors are on stage, the props are set up, the tech is ready to go, the curtains draw—but there is no spotlight. The show is going to fall pretty flat without lights. This is what salt does for food. It simply highlights all the best parts of the dish. Everything needs salt (even your salads! Even your sandwiches!). But the key is to find the salt you love and learn how to use it.

Not all salt is the same. In fact two popular salt brands used in home kitchens are very different from each other. Diamond Crystal Kosher salt (my favorite) has a more subtle saltiness so I find I like to use more of it when cooking. But Morton Kosher salt (what you will most likely find in your grocery stores) is much more salty. In fact, so salty that you only want to use half of what a recipe using Diamond Crystal salt uses.

Find the salt you love to cook with and learn how to use it to season your food:

Is it overly salty (when you take a taste of it does your whole mouth feel like you took a gulp of the ocean?), use less when cooking with it.Is it more subtle (when you taste it you get salt but your mouth doesn’t immediately start watering), use a little more when cooking and taste as you go.Is it chunky or flaky? Do not use this salt for cooking as the crystals have a harder time covering the surface area of the dish and seasoning the food. Instead use it as a finishing salt. Add just a sprinkle to plated dishes.

Once you declare the salt you love to cook with you will become an expert at seasoning your food so your dish can take center stage.

5. How to Thicken Soups, Stews, and Sauces

Have you ever made a dish that smelled amazing and tasted delicious but the stew was watery or the sauce was liquidy? The flavor is there but the liquid needs to be thickened. All you have to do is add equal parts cornstarch or arrowroot to equal parts water to make a slurry. Mix well to combine and while your dish is still over the heat, slowly pour in the slurry while stirring. Allow the dish to simmer for 3-5 minutes to thicken!

Measurements for a Slurry:

Sauces: 1 teaspoon arrowroot to 1 teaspoon of waterStews: 1/2 tablespoon of arrowroot to 1/2 tablespoon of waterSoups :1 tablespoon of arrowroot to 1 tablespoon of water

If your desired thickness is not achieved just make another slurry and repeat.

These simple techniques will give you kitchen wins over and over so you can become a more joyful and confident home cook.

***

Bri McKoy is an accidental home cook who fell in love with cooking and has used her platform, online masterclasses, and live cooking classes to teach thousands of people how to become a more confident and joyful home cook. Her cookbook, The Cook’s Book: Recipes for Keeps and Essential Techniques to Master Everyday Cooking releases tomorrow.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

My desire with each Weekend Reads is to provide you with articles and posts that encourage simplicity and minimalist living. Below, you will find links to blog posts and news stories that I hand-picked over the last couple weeks. I hope you find inspiration and practical help inside them.

That is my goal on Becoming Minimalist: to intentionally promote simplicity in a world that needs to hear it.

My Family’s Clutter Was Stressing Me Out So I’ve Got Rid of 1,000 Things From My Home | Daily Mail by Siofra Brennan. A mom first began adopting minimalism 10 years ago after finding herself ‘overwhelmed’ with the clutter in her house.

Get Rid of Your Books | Slate by Dorie Chevlen. Couldn’t you use a little extra space?

Simple Living Tips For Everyone | No Sidebar. This journey about a simpler lifestyle isn’t about striving for perfection or rigid rules; it’s about making choices that align with your values and aspirations.

61% Of Americans Live Paycheck-To-Paycheck: Here’s The Simple Solution We’re Overlooking | Forbes by Joshua Becker. More money often just leads to more spending. The real, often overlooked solution most of are missing? Spend less.

Minimalism: The Unexpected Path to Financial Freedom | Simple Money by Richard James. Instead of obsessing over what we don’t have, minimalism encourages us to appreciate what we do have. And in doing so, we discover that we may actually need less than we think.

17 Reasons I Love Minimalism: Less Stuff Equals More Living | The Plain Simple Life by Voureen. “I started to realise that minimalism wasn’t about deprivation or living without; rather, it was about intentionality and only having what truly made me happy.”

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

8 Scientifically Proven Ways to Simplify Your Life | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Life can be complicated, but there are steps we can take to make our lives a little easier.

You Matter to Me | YouTube by Joshua Becker. You matter to me because of the bold steps you’ve taken to pursue owning less and elevate your greatest values.

Other Resources

The Curiosity Chronicle by Sahil Bloom. Sahil publishes a free email newsletter twice/week that is focused on actionable, tactical insights that can be immediately implemented for personal development and growth. I signed up for the newsletter almost 9 months ago and really enjoy it. Maybe you will too.

Life’s True Treasures: Why What You Chase Matters More Than What You Have

“We become what we love.” —Unknown

It’s a simple, powerful idea. That is absolutely true.

For a long time, we’ve been told the good life means having more stuff: a bigger house, a new car, trendy clothes, the latest technology, the coolest toys, and so on.

Because of that messaging we’ve received since birth, we’ve spent much of our energy chasing these things, thinking they’ll make us happy.

But fullness of life is not found in the things we possess. Real happiness doesn’t come from what we own. Even worse, that line of thinking can actually hold us back.

Consider for just a moment the foolishness of defining the good life in terms of physical possessions:

Stuff Comes and Goes.

Think about it. Our money situation can change overnight because of things we can’t control, like the economy or natural disasters or someone’s decision above you at work. Should our happiness ever be tied to things outside our control?

It’s a Luck of the Draw.

The amount of stuff we own often depends on where we were born and who our family is. That’s pure chance. Should something as important as our happiness be left to chance?

“Stuff“ Doesn’t Feed the Soul.

No amount of material goods can ever fill the deeper needs we all have. In fact, often times, chasing stuff takes our attention away from the things that really make life worthwhile.

More Never Fully Satisfies.

Even people who have everything they could ever want still look for more. If we keep thinking that the next new thing will make us happy, we’ll never find peace.

So, what should we do?

Rather than focusing on what we have, we focus on what we’re chasing.

Because what we pursue in life means a lot more than what we possess!

The things we want most guide our choices every day. They show us where to put our time, money, and effort. What we chase shapes our lives more than anything else.

And here’s the really good news: Every day, we get to choose what we chase.

We alone get to decide what’s most important to us. Isn’t that empowering?

So what are you going to chase?

This is an important question, and the answer can change your life.

Today go after things that have true, lasting value: love, kindness, fairness, beauty, and hope. Make it your goal to make someone else’s world better, even if it’s just a little bit.

When it comes down to it, the worth of our life isn’t measured by what we have. It’s defined by what we go after.

Let’s not waste our days collecting things. Let’s fill them chasing what really counts.

Unlock Your Home’s Potential with the Magic of Margin

Note: This is a guest post by Amy Slenker-Smith of Simply Enough.

Did you know that being organized isn’t really about stuff? It’s about the empty space between the stuff called margin. This is also referred to as white space, breathing room, or buffer. No matter the name, margin allows our possessions to move in and out of a space freely and stay organized too. 

When I design organizational systems in a closet or cabinet, I spend a lot of time planning how the items will be stored in the space. But I also consider how often they are used. I strive to create margin every time.

No matter what space you’re working on, the key is to declutter first and organize second. It’s the margin in these spaces that has the most impact, especially when it comes to staying organized. Because when you reduce the volume, spaces have a way of organizing themselves. 

Margin not only allows spaces to function better but also makes it more attractive. Did you know the margin on a piece of written work is approximately 37% of the page? White space makes the paper easy to read and creates a beautiful document. Margin ensures the work is presented in an organized fashion. The same is true of physical spaces.

Here are five spaces where margin will help you get organized and keep it that way:

Clothing Closet

Is your clothing literally stuffed inside your closet? Do you push clothes aside to put away clean laundry? Or perhaps you struggle to find an item you are looking for. There’s no margin in a closet like this.

What if your closet contained only your favorite clothes? And the items hung freely with fewer wrinkles. Empty space in a closet allows you to easily put away laundry and get ready in the morning.

Start by looking at your closet and determine how much you need to remove to create breathing room. Set a goal. Most closets require a 25-50% reduction to achieve this. 

When you downsize your wardrobe, you have less laundry. Yes it’s true. You have more time to properly care for your clothing and extend the life of your favorite pieces. This margin saves you time and money.

Dishes and Kitchenware

Are you fighting to store small appliances like a griddle or the Instapot inside the cabinets? Margin means having clean kitchen counters where you can unload groceries, cook dinner, and pack lunches without cleaning the kitchen first. 

Open the kitchen cabinets, step back, and observe. Which ones are embarrassing to leave open? Are there any items you can easily donate or throw away?

Look for the ideal spot to store items you use often. Rearrange based on frequency of use. Remove lesser-used items until each cabinet has margin. When you’re done, step back and look at it again. The empty space will give your eyes a place to rest so the cabinets are functional and beautiful at the same time.

As you make decluttering decisions, be honest about items you do not use. Use objective criteria to make decisions. For example, count the number of dishes compared to how many people live there full-time. 

As a family of three, we typically host 2-3 extra people. So, six dinner plates, four sandwich plates, and four bowls are plenty.

When you return dishes to the cabinet, be sure to stack each category separately. Heaviest on the bottom shelf. Practice removing and reshelving them to see how difficult it is. Make adjustments. Margin helps a kitchen function efficiently.

Bookshelves

Too many books and decorations can make a bookshelf feel heavy even if it’s organized. Most bookshelves are full or overflowing onto the floor. Unread books on a shelf tell your brain you have unfinished tasks. Instead, try leaving empty space to lighten your load physically and mentally.

Start by reducing your books. When I donated most of my book collection, I began reading more. I chose books that were interesting to me and borrowed them from the library.

As you decide which decorations to buy or keep, ask yourself, “Do I love it enough to dust it?” Downsizing means less dusting and cleaning. 

Create a Playroom Not a Toy Room

Margin also means creating a playroom, not a toy room. Do you see the difference? Since the floor is the largest flat surface in your home, it can become cluttered quickly in a toy room. Do not store things on the floor except for furniture. 

Research found that the average 10-year-old owns 238 toys but plays with just 12. Seriously, kids need more space to play, not more toys. They thrive on an empty floor and use their imagination with open toys.

A crowded toy room steals the play space and prevents them from finding their favorite toys. And they are less content playing for long periods of time. Children are smart. They can see that more toys mean more cleanup and no room to actually play. They will avoid playing in a toy room. 

Margin also matters when creating organizational systems for kids. They need simple systems that are age appropriate. Teach systems to your children and commit to owning fewer toys, shoes, and clothing.

Calendar and Schedule

Margin influences not just your physical space but your calendar space too. Margin in a schedule is important. As the old saying goes, “Show me your calendar and I’ll show you your priorities.”

Does your calendar have any white space this week? You can create margin in your schedule by using one simple word, no. 

To combat overscheduling, discuss trade-offs with your kids when signing up for sports and activities. Determine a budget for your time and money. Children don’t know to ask for time off. They get caught up in the excitement until they’re exhausted. 

As a parent, our role is to set boundaries and protect the white space. Saying no also creates room for spontaneity. And the smile on your child’s face when you drop everything and spend the day together is worth it every time. 

Get Started

Start by decluttering one space of your own stuff. Not your husband’s hat collection or the kids’ toys. Grab a box for donations and a trash bag. Ask the following questions as you remove items. 

Is this item adding an important function to my life? Would this space function better with margin or white space?Where do I need to set boundaries? Do I love this decoration enough to dust it? Is this invitation something I am looking forward to or is it an obligation?

Where will you create margin today?

***
Amy Slenker-Smith is a living simply coach and wonderful writer at Simply Enough. She lives near Washington DC with her husband Steve, son Zack, and Zeke the cat. You can also find her on Facebook.

12 Practical Tips to Turn Your Partner into a Minimalist

One of the questions I am most frequently asked (and maybe the hardest to answer) is, “How do I get my spouse to embrace minimalism?”

Many people find themselves on a journey to minimalism, experiencing the life-giving benefits of owning less and living more, only to look beside them and wish their partner shared the same vision.

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

You can see how this change might benefit not only your shared spaces but also their personal well-being. Yet, despite your best efforts, the change you desire never happens.

Of course, if I had all the answers on “how to get your spouse to do everything you ever wanted,” I’d probably be writing different books.

But I thought it might be helpful to sit down and come up with a list of practical ideas that could help you navigate this difficult, but all-too-common terrain.

12 Practical Tips to Turn Your Partner into a Minimalist

1. Begin With Yourself.

Showcasing the benefits of minimalism through your own actions is the first and most compelling argument that you can make.

I realize that setting an example sometimes only gets you so far. But any conversation about bringing about a positive change in someone else’s life needs to start with our own.

2. Share Success Stories.

Sometimes hearing about the transformation in other families or individuals can be the inspiration your partner needs.

These stories can range from general ones like, “I was reading today about a guy who minimized his possessions and began traveling full-time,” to close personal anecdotes such as, “So I was just talking to Rachel about their plans to downsize.”

3. Offer to Help.

Rather than pushing them to declutter, extend a helping hand. Doing it together can make the process less daunting.

In almost every relationship (even when both parties agree) there is going to be one partner more excited about the minimizing. That is you. So offer to help in specific ways. “Would it help if I took the first pass at your closet and pulled out a few suggestions of items I think you could discard?”

4. Initiate a No-Buy Challenge.

See if you can talk your spouse into a 30-day experiment of some sorts with a specific goal in mind. For example, take a look at your monthly credit card statement and determine how much you could probably save if you bought nothing this month. And then offer the idea coupled with the reward.

For example, “If we went the next 30 days without buying a single thing, we’d save enough money for that weekend at a resort with the kids you’ve been talking about. Would you like to try it?”

5. Celebrate Small Victories.

Every item decluttered, or every positive step taken, is progress. Celebrate it as positive reinforcement.

6. Communicate the Benefits.

Keep sharing the positive changes you’ve noticed since adopting minimalism. Whether it’s peace of mind, more free time, or financial savings.

Returning to these in a manipulative way (which I know is sort of the point of this list) can get annoying to someone who doesn’t want the change, I’m sure. But I think you still can, and should, be quick to point out the benefits wherever you see them.

7. Compromise and Bargain.

Here’s a harsh reality that I often try to remind people who are frustrated that their spouse or partner won’t become more of a minimalist: “Keep in mind that there are almost certainly changes your spouse wants you to make in your life that you’re not budging on as well.” I typically mean it as a way to reframe the conversation—and sometimes to spark greater humility if required.

But maybe there’s a way, given this reality, to strike a mutual agreement. If you commit to a change in your life at the same time you are asking him/her for a change in theirs, this give and take might create a sense of balance and motivation.

8. Set a Relevant Time Frame.

This isn’t always applicable, and it might be more motivating to others. But if there is an upcoming event happening at your home—like a move or graduation or even a wedding—use it as an incentive to declutter or adopt minimalistic habits.

9. Turn It into a Game.

A little friendly competition never hurts—especially if your spouse or partner enjoys a challenge. See how many days in a row your spouse can find one thing to get rid of every day or try the 30-Day Minimalism Game.

If a game works just because it’s a game, awesome! If you need a prize at the end, keep reading…

10. Reward the Effort.

Set milestones and celebrate with rewards, whether it’s a special dinner or event—or even a certain thing that they’ve been wanting. I’m not usually a fan of buying more stuff to celebrate getting rid of stuff, but if we’re trying to motivate someone who wants nothing to do with minimalism, helping them see the connection between buying less and achieving goals might be a helpful demonstration.

11. Seek Middle Ground.

Maybe they’re not ready to declutter their whole wardrobe. But would they consider starting with just the closet? Additionally, you could look for agreement in “common areas” of the home (like living room, dining room, kitchen) where other members of the family spend considerable time.

12. Find Professional Help (if necessary).

It’s also important to recognize when the reluctance to let go of possessions goes beyond just a preference or habit. Hoarding is a genuine disorder, and it can have deep-rooted psychological causes.

If you believe your partner’s behavior might lean towards this, I’d recommend reading more about it or seeking guidance online. Sometimes, understanding this disorder can make a significant difference. And if required, seeking the help of a professional therapist or counselor is a responsible and loving step to take.

And although it should go without saying, it doesn’t. Empathy, understanding, patience, commitment, and love form the foundation for every long-lasting relationship. They are also crucial as you navigate this journey. Start there.

Love and mutual respect should be the foundation of every discussion. While it’s beneficial to lead a minimalist life, it’s even more essential to maintain the health and happiness of your relationship.

You may not love all these ideas, and I think I’m okay with that. But maybe you’ll find 1-2 ideas that you haven’t considered or tried before. Or maybe even this list will prompt a different idea that you can try.

Either way, I think that’s wonderful. I just want to be as helpful as possible. I do believe that, with some of these practical steps applied to your specific circumstance, you might find a way to converge your paths, drawing you closer in more ways than one.

Unburdened Living: How Minimalism Changed My Outlook in Four Ways

“Wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.” —Maya Angelou

Fifteen years ago, my life changed forever. The Saturday started out typically: I woke up, drank some coffee, ate some breakfast, and started in on the day’s project.

It was the first morning of a beautiful three-day weekend in Vermont and my wife and I had decided to spend the Saturday spring cleaning.

My project was to clean out the garage. After the cleaning was finished, we’d begin relaxing and enjoying the holiday weekend. But my life was turned upside-down before we’d ever get there.

“Maybe you don’t need to own all this stuff,” was the last statement my old-self remembers hearing.

It was said by my neighbor right after I began complaining to her about how much work it had become caring for our house—everything from my garage was piled in the driveway at the time. She had used the word “minimalist” earlier in the conversation. And at that very moment, I found minimalism, or it found me.

As a result, my life has been refreshed, rejuvenated, improved. It’s been an amazing journey. And over the last several years, because of minimalism, my life has changed in ways I never dreamt possible.

Consider these four statements minimalism has made possible in my life and the joy found in each of them:

1. I wish I owned less stuff. 

Since that weekend, we have been on a journey of minimizing possessions from our home and life.

We immediately went to work removing everything we no longer used or loved. At the end of the process, we took a breath. But soon, we began noticing more things around the house we could live without and began removing them as well. Even after another clean-sweep through the entire house, we still owned more than we needed. We removed some more, bought a smaller house a few years later, and continued the cycle.

Of course, none of this happens in a vacuum: holidays and birthdays come and go, moments of consumer-relapse occur, new hobbies emerge, kids get older, tastes change.

Even as someone trying to live a minimalist life, things still begin to collect around me. As a result, when I look around my house today, I still wish I owned less stuff. And that’s something I never would have said years ago!

2. I don’t mind earning less money than I could. 

Somewhere along this journey of intentionally living with fewer possessions, an important realization occurred in my mind: Living with less means I can joyfully earn less if the right opportunity presents itself.

The measure of success in my life is no longer tied to my house, my car, or my paycheck. I now measure success in other ways: integrity, character, family, friendship, joy, love, peace (just to name a few).

Because of that change in perspective, when a new career opportunity presented itself years later that offered so many of the things I most value in life, I accepted—despite less pay. Even today, there are lots of things I could be doing to make more money, but I don’t mind earning less. We own enough and there are more fulfilling pursuits than trying to get more money.

3. I’d love to tell you my story. 

I love my newfound life. I have more time, more energy, more mental-capacity, and more money to pursue what is most important to me. Owning less means less burden, less anxiety, and less stress each and every day.

Because of the numerous benefits, I love sharing my story with others. I love seeing the realization in someone else’s eyes that possessions are not the answer to our heart’s greatest pursuits. And I love inspiring others to come join a movement of men and women all over the world who have decided to intentionally live with fewer possessions.

I enjoy sharing my story because it stands as a clear invitation to find something better and view the potential for our lives greater than physical possessions.

4. I know, deep down, you want to own fewer possessions too. 

None of us really believe it. No one really believes that possessions equal joy. It’s just that we’ve been told so many times and from so many angles that we would be happier accumulating more, we have started to believe the lie more than we realize. Our lives begin to align with that pursuit.

We start to buy bigger houses, nicer cars, newer technology, trendier clothing, and more toys for ourselves and our family. As a result, our possessions begin to burden us more than we recognize. They no longer serve us—instead, we serve them.

But in our deepest heart, we know our possessions are not adding value to our lives. Even worse, we can probably recognize how they are subtracting from it. I know, deep-down, you want to own fewer possessions. I know because I’ve been there. And why else would the message of this article resonate so deeply inside you?

7 Tips for a Slow & Intentional Day

Note: This is a guest post by Lauren Harder of Little Minimalist On the Prairies.

From the moment we wake up, we’re faced with decisions, tasks, and responsibilities—people to see, items to check off of our to-do list, work, and errands to complete—there is an intense amount of temptation in today’s culture to rush through our day as if there’s some invisible finish line to cross.

I find myself caught in this trap too often, only to end up exhausted, impatient, and wrung out.

On my last birthday, I wrote down the words, “wholeheartedly present.” These were the words I wanted to live by—a life that was defined by slowing down, living simply, and having authentic connection with the people I love day by day.

How can we hit the brakes and move from frantic to peaceful? Here are a couple tips to help get started:

Eliminate Distractions

Sometimes, distractions can be good. Here, I am referring to habits that steal our focus and energy from being present.

The root of many distracting habits can often be traced back to our phones and other devices. If you find yourself picking up your phone every few minutes, try the following:

Set certain times when you won’t check your phone (i.e., early in the morning, late at night, or during the day when you’re trying to spend time with family or get work done).Set screen time limitations in your phone’s settingsPut your phone physically out of sight when you’re not wanting to use itTurn off loud notifications (especially for apps that aren’t necessary)Single-Task

Warning: This may feel boring when you first try it!

The art of single-tasking is rarely practiced these days. We often try to do as much as possible at one time. Just this morning, I was listening to an audiobook while cleaning the kitchen and trying to make a grocery list!

However, there’s something incredibly calming about just doing one thing at a time. Plus, I’ve found that the tasks actually get done more efficiently when it’s the only thing I’m doing.

Depending on what stage of life you’re in, you may not be able to single-task very easily. For example, if you’re at home with children, there are often many demands vying for your attention all at once. This is all the more reason to try single-tasking whenever you can! Give yourself a break, and allow your brain and body to focus on just one thing at a time.

Challenge: Try eating a meal or completing a chore without multi-tasking today!

Put Your To-Do List in its Place

Stuffing our to-do list to the brim is a one-way ticket to a frenzied day.

In fact, the more we put on a to-do list, the less likely we are to get it all done.

The easiest way to combat this is to only include the 3 most important things we need to get done that day! If you end up doing more, consider it a bonus, but don’t aim for something unattainable.

Give Yourself Grace

There’s a reason this section is following the one about our to-do lists. In order to slow down and live more intentionally, we need to be honest about our limitations and give ourselves grace to just do what we’re able to do.

There’s a lot of freedom that can be found in accepting what we can’t do!

If you feel the hustle, hurry, and general busyness of the day catching up with you, take a few minutes to breathe, be honest with yourself about what you’re able to do, and give yourself permission to only do that.

Practice Gratitude

Another helpful practice to slow your pace throughout the day is practicing gratitude. Doing this in real-time pulls you back to the present and makes you aware of the goodness in each moment.

When you feel your inner voice telling you to “hurry up,” use that as your cue to actually physically slow down or stop where you are. Take 30 seconds to think of something you can be grateful for in that moment, and I promise you, your perspective and priorities will shift.

Avoid Shortcuts

Implementing this concept has definitely challenged my patience. The practice of patience is imperative to intentional living. One way to train yourself to be more patient is to choose to do something the long way instead of rushing and looking for shortcuts.

Have you ever hopped between traffic lanes just to get somewhere a few minutes faster? Try to avoid the constant switching and instead allow yourself to just enjoy the drive!

Get Outside

When I’ve had a stressful day at work or am feeling overwhelmed as a mom, I stop what I’m doing and go outside. Feeling the sun on my face and hearing the wind in the trees puts everything back in perspective and calms the frenetic pace I feel like I need to follow.

Even just going for a walk is so good for your physical, mental, and emotional health! It lets your brain wander. Some of my best brainstorming and thinking happens when I’ve gone for a walk.

I hope you feel challenged and empowered to try one of these ideas for yourself today! 

***

Lauren is a wife, green tea enthusiast, and an advocate for minimalism and simplicity. She believes minimalism isn’t just about stuff, but the depth to which you embrace the simple joys of life. You can read about minimalism, homesteading, and finding inspiration and grace for yourself on her blog.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of anything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

The Art of Slow Living: 5 Ways Slow Living Can Improve Your Life | The Remote Lifestyle Guide by Kate Jacobsen. Slow living allows us to step away from the hustle, slow down, and create a life that aligned with our core values.

Why You Should Try the 12-12-12 Decluttering Method | Yahoo! by Millie Hurst. Sometimes, when clearing out our belongings, we need a little bit more structure than ‘Does it spark joy?’

It’s 2023: Here are 12 Things You Should Stop Buying | Simple Money by Jennifer Hayes. Just like we left Walkman’s in the dust of yesteryears, there are items today that we oughta reconsider.

Streamlining Your Morning Routine for a Stress-Free School Year | No Sidebar. One of the best gifts we can give to our children and ourselves is setting the stage for a productive and stress-free school day.

How I Afford to be a Stay at Home Mom | Simple Living Mommy by Jamie. Here are some tips on how to live off of one income and save some money.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

How To Declutter When You Move | YouTube by Joshua Becker. When we move, we are required to really consider each of our possessions. It is one of the best times in life to declutter. If you’re getting ready for a move and need to prepare, here are six tips to help you downsize.

Top 5 Books That Inspired My Minimalist Journey | YouTube by Joshua Becker. When just getting started with minimalism, it can be helpful to look towards other people for examples and ideas. Here are the top 5 books that inspired our minimalist family when we were just beginning our journey.

Other Resources

Zen Habits Podcast. The first article I ever read about minimalism was written by Leo Babauta. He’s also the first blogger I ever studied to learn how to grow an online community. Leo has influenced how I conduct myself online more than anyone else alive. And now he has a podcast. Go check it out.

1440. Are you tired of biased news? Try 1440. It’s a daily digest of all the most important info in culture, science, sports, politics, business, and everything in between—presented without bias. It’s the fastest way to an informed and impartial point-of-view. I’ve been reading it and loving it—and thought you might too.