Joshua Becker's Blog, page 15

Loss Aversion: Understanding and Overcoming Our Fear of Letting Go

“One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.” —André Gide

I once had a friend. Let’s call him Jim. Jim was just an ordinary guy, living an ordinary life, much like many of us. He had a steady job, a modest home, and a family he loved.

One sunny Saturday afternoon, Jim decided to tackle a long-overdue task—cleaning out the clutter in his garage. It had become a messy storage space over the years, filled with old sports equipment, unused tools, car accessories, plastic toys, and countless boxes of who-knows-what. The clutter had reached a point where he and his wife could barely park both cars in the garage.

With much excitement about the possibility of a tidy garage, Jim started sifting through the items.

He picked up an old bicycle, covered in dust. Memories of long-forgotten bike rides with his kids flashed before his eyes. “I should keep this,” he thought, even though nobody had ridden it in years.

As he continued his decluttering mission, Jim came across a collection of CDs. He used to be an avid music collector, and these CDs had once brought him hours of entertainment. But with streaming services at his fingertips, he hadn’t touched these discs in ages. “I can’t get rid of these,” he muttered, “I love these bands.” And he placed the CDs back on the shelf.

Hours slowly turned into an entire weekend, as Jim worked tirelessly, trying to make sense of the mess.

Oftentimes, he picked up an item and placed it back on the shelf, hesitating to let go of items that hadn’t even seen the light of day for years.

It was as if the mere thought of parting with them triggered an inexplicable fear—a fear of loss.

Did you know there is actually a name for this phenomena? It’s called: Loss Aversion.

As we seek to let go, we encounter any number of invisible barriers that hold us back. Understanding what they are (and how to overcome them) is a worthwhile pursuit. Not just in wanting to declutter a garage, but in bringing about any positive life-change we desire.

One such concept, deeply rooted in our psyche, is “Loss Aversion.” And once we understand what it is, we begin to see it at play in our minds, in countless areas of life.

Loss Aversion, simply put, is our tendency to prefer avoiding losses rather than acquiring equivalent gains.

It’s a concept that often appears in conversations around behavioral economics analyzing why people make the financial decisions they make. In economics, it is seen over and over again that for people, the pain of losing is psychologically about twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining.

To illustrate, in our minds, it’s better not to lose $20, than to find $20.

On paper, it shouldn’t matter. But in real life, it does.

One of the most revealing studies on Loss Aversion was conducted by psychologists Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky. In their experiment, half of the participants were given a mug and told they could sell it if they chose. The other half were not given a mug but were told they could buy one.

Interestingly, the price at which those with the mug were willing to sell it was significantly higher than the price the buyers were willing to pay. This gap demonstrated a fascinating phenomenon: the sellers felt a stronger attachment to the mug simply because they owned it, perceiving its loss as more significant than the buyers did the potential gain.

Other studies (even globally) continue to affirm the theory. In one study, the question was asked, “If you were given $1,000 to play a game, would you accept a 50% chance to double your money or a 100% guarantee of gaining an additional $500?” My guess is you, like most people in the study, chose the sure $500.

That’s because we tend to be risk-seeking when maximizing gains, but risk-averse when minimizing losses.

Loss Aversion is this idea that the pain of losing something is stronger than the pleasure of gaining something of equal value.

Understanding this principle in everyday contexts, like Jim’s garage cleaning scenario, highlights why it can be so challenging to declutter and let go of possessions.

We hold onto items, not because of their utility or joy they bring, but solely because of the perceived ‘loss’ of parting with them. This overlaps somewhat with the Endowment Effect, where we assign more value to things merely because we own them.

But Loss Aversion digs deeper, often rooted in fear—fear of losing a part of our past, our identity, or potential future use.

Retailers and marketers are skillful at exploiting this tendency. They lure us with trials, rebates, and refund policies, framing our purchases in terms of ‘loss’ if we don’t act. Even the potential loss of a good deal or a limited-time offer can overshadow our rational judgment, leading us to acquire things we don’t need, further cluttering our lives.

Perhaps most importantly, this can explain why some are slow to embrace the benefits of minimalism in their life. Minimalism, in most cases, requires us to confront loss aversion head-on. It requires us to lose something in order to gain something better.

The minimalist journey isn’t just about discarding physical items; it’s a trade-off. We let go of material possessions to gain something more valuable—time, focus, intention, peace. It’s a process of exchanging the tangible for the intangible—a concept that becomes even more difficult given our inherent aversion to loss.

How then can we overcome Loss Aversion?

This is an important question—not just in the pursuit of owning less, but in countless other areas.

For the sake of this article, let me offer some ideas based around the concept of minimalism and owning less—and allow you to draw parallels wherever might be necessary in your life.

1. Acknowledge the Fear of Loss

The first step is to recognize when loss aversion is influencing your decisions. Are you keeping an item because it moves you toward your purpose? Or are you giving extra weight to the fear of what you may be losing?

2. Redefine ‘Loss’ and ‘Gain’

Rather than focusing on what you are giving up, shift your perspective to what you’re gaining through owning less. Minimalism is about addition more than it is about subtraction—more space, less stress, increased focus on what truly matters. The loss of physical items pales in comparison to these gains.

3. See Marketing Strategies for What They Are

Be aware of marketing tactics designed to trigger your loss aversion. To help with this, ask yourself, “Am I considering this purchase out of a genuine need, or fear of missing out?”

4. Small Steps for Big Changes

Start with decluttering small areas or items you’re less attached to. This gradual approach helps mitigate the sense of loss while highlighting the benefits of owning less.

It is one of the central tenets to my Method of owning less.

5. Celebrate Your Progress

Acknowledge and celebrate each step towards minimalism. Progress is progress and you can’t reach your goals without it. So celebrate every step in the right direction.

Again, this positive reinforcement helps shift your focus from what you’re losing to what you’re gaining.

6. Embrace the Joy of Letting Go

The joy of what we will find ahead is much greater than what we leave behind.

Keep that thought in mind—every item you let go of is a step towards a more intentional life. This mindset can help counterbalance the initial discomfort of parting with possessions. And while our tendency may be to overvalue the loss… we can overwhelm that tendecency with the promise of something better. So keep focused on it.

7. Visualize the Benefits

Lastly, to help with Step #6, regularly remind yourself of the positive impact minimalism has on your life.

Articulation of what you’ve seen and visualization for the future can be powerful tools in overcoming the hesitancy created by loss aversion.

Understanding Loss Aversion is so very powerful in overcoming its influence—in many areas of life, but especially if you are struggling to own less.

As we let go of the unnecessary, we make room for so much more—more time, more clarity, more joy. And isn’t that a gain worth pursuing?

The post Loss Aversion: Understanding and Overcoming Our Fear of Letting Go appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Is Minimalism a Good Fit for You? Take this Free Quiz and Find Out Today

Are you curious about minimalism and wondering if it’s right for you? You’re not alone.

Lots of people talk about the benefits they have received by pursing minimalism. But how would you know if it’s really a fit for you? Well, you’ve come to the right place!

We’ve crafted a helpful quiz to help you decide.

Don’t worry, there are no wrong answers here. Just write down the first answer that comes to mind for each of the ten quiz questions.

Grab a pen and paper and answer each question: Yes or No.

Let’s dive in to see if minimalism is a good fit for you!

The Quiz:

1. Would You Enjoy Having More Money in the Bank?

More money isn’t for everyone. But if you’re someone who likes more, mark “yes” and move to the next question.

2. Wish You Had More Free Time?

If the idea of having a few extra hours in your day everyday sounds appealing, check “yes.”

3. Crave Less Stress in Your Life?

If reducing stress sounds lovely, consider it a “yes” for this one.

4. Dream of More Space at Home?

Would you like more breathing room in your living space? If yes, note it down.

5. Wish for Better Focus and Productivity?

If improved concentration and output is on your wish list, that’s a “yes.”

6. Would You Prefer Your Home to Be a More Calming Sanctuary, Free From Chaos and Clutter?

If a peaceful and serene home environment with less chaos would be a welcomed addition to your life, mark “yes.”

7. Desire Stronger Personal Relationships?

If deepening connections with your loved ones—both inside and outside your family—is important to you, give this question a “yes.”

8. How About Having a Living Space That Truly Reflects Your Personal Style and Values?

If expressing yourself, rather than just following the crowd, through your living space sounds appealing, jot down a “yes.”

9. Interested in More Joy and Contentment?

If increasing your happiness and satisfaction is a goal you find yourself driving toward in life, mark “yes” for this one here.

10. Aspire to Live a More Intentional Life?

If living with purpose and intention resonates with you, that’s a definite “yes.”

Answer Key:

If you answered “Yes” to 0 questions, minimalism might not be a fit for you.

If you answered “Yes” to 1-10 questions, congratulations! Minimalism would absolutely be a great fit for you.

Here’s why:

More Money: Minimalism eliminates impulsive buys and encourages thoughtful spending.
More Time: Fewer items means less cleaning and organizing.
Less Stress: A decluttered space leads to a decluttered mind.
More Space: Less stuff means more room to enjoy.
Better Focus: Minimal distractions lead to maximum productivity.
Calming Home: A serene environment is within reach with less clutter.
Stronger Relationships: Less time managing stuff, means more time for relationships.
Personal Style: Reflect your unique style and values with fewer but meaningful items.
Increased Joy: Minimalism helps us realize that we already have enough.
Intentional Living: Every item and activity has a purpose and meaning.

Taking Your First Step Toward Minimalism

If you discovered today that minimalism is a good fit for you, we don’t want to leave you empty-handed.

Here are a number of free resources to help you get started on your minimalist journey:

Article: The Simple Guide to a Clutter-Free Home
Printable: 101 Things to Declutter in Your Home Printable Checklist
Video: Start Decluttering With The Easiest Step

If you enjoyed taking this quiz, please share it with your friends and on social media.

The post Is Minimalism a Good Fit for You? Take this Free Quiz and Find Out Today appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Please Stop Buying Us Nutcrackers

Note: This is a guest post from Craig Stephens of Retire Before Dad.

During the past few Christmas seasons, my daughters performed in a local production of The Nutcracker.

The show is a beloved annual tradition. The girls love to dance alongside their friends in front of our close-knit community.

Their grandparents are enthusiastically present and engaged, always visiting when the kids have significant childhood events. We are grateful.

One or both sets of grandparents have visited from out of town to see the performance every year. They travel several hours to watch the girls on stage for only about three minutes each.

As someone who never knew any of his grandparents, watching my children interact with theirs has been one of the most gratifying experiences of parenthood. The most magical moment is when the girls emerge from backstage to receive hugs, flowers, and oversized rainbow lollipops from their grandparents.

Every year, one or both grandmothers have commemorated the performance by also giving them each an intricate 15-inch nutcracker. We’ve accumulated quite a collection.

My oldest daughter was overjoyed when she received her first years back. Like The Nutcracker’s protagonist, Clara, she’d never received such a beautiful and delicate Christmas decoration all her own. But each new nutcracker since the first has been less exciting.

Last year, it was excessive. Each daughter received a large nutcracker from both grandmothers. One grandmother gave a nutcracker to my wife, and another to my 11-year-old son (because what 11-year-old boy doesn’t want a lifelong Christmas mantelpiece to celebrate his little sisters’ dance recital?).

If you’re counting, that’s six big nutcrackers in one year, added to the previous years.

At ages eight and ten, there are potentially several more The Nutcracker performances in their futures. Are they going to get more of these plus-sized nutcrackers every year? It sure seems like the perfect gift, girls dancing in The Nutcracker and all. But every new nutcracker makes the previous gifts less meaningful.

All of this prompted me to ask my mother to please stop buying us nutcrackers.

Our family isn’t all that into Christmas decorations. We are not nutcracker collectors. Most Christmas decorations we own are gifts from our mothers or their sisters. In their minds, we still don’t have enough.

We pick a nice tree and hang ornaments, illuminate the house exterior, buy a wreath, and find places to display the nutcrackers and other decorations. But we don’t entertain during the holidays; we decorate for ourselves because it’s a tradition learned from our parents.

The kids appreciate the exquisite quality of the nutcrackers for a brief moment each year. Then it’s back to the tree swing or Nintendo. The girls need reminders of which nutcrackers are theirs because there are so many now.

Our house isn’t particularly design-savvy during the other 11 months. With three young and active kids, we still struggle to keep it clutter-free and tidy. Christmas decorations just sort of intercept dust particles for a month, then return to the bins.

Also, storing the nutcrackers has become an issue. A few years back, we remodeled our basement to create more living space. We made room for a big puzzle and board game table and a second TV area to give the kids some privacy as they age.

Half of the basement was previously used as storage space, but it’s only about one-sixth of storage space after the remodel. We do our best to squeeze the bulky nutcracker boxes into our existing storage bins. Still, every year, we must add another Christmas storage bin, adding to the collection that sits among more useful items like camping gear and luggage.

The decision to dramatically reduce storage space was an intentional one. We want our basement to be lived in, not full of stuff. When the limited storage space fills up, we force ourselves to find something to remove.

But that something can never be their grandmothers’ nutcracker gifts. How could we?

My wife and I have observed our parents struggle with eliminating unneeded clutter. Both sides continue to store the belongings of their adult children.

My parents recently moved out of the house they lived in for more than 50 years! The house was no longer suitable for their physical needs. But they stayed too long, in part because they were overwhelmed by the thought of sorting through 50 years of possessions.

When they finally moved, mystery boxes overflowed from the spacious new closets and converted the two-car garage into a one-car. Much of it is Christmas decorations, including an impressive nutcracker collection. Where will Mom’s collection go one day?

I’ve struggled with minimalism as one person in a household of five. Though we discourage the frivolous accumulation of possessions, our kids still love frequent and generous grandparent gifts. Getting rid of old toys, stuffed animals, and tight clothing has become more agreeable as the kids have aged. But as gifts, these nutcrackers aren’t something we can sell at a yard sale or give to charity. They were meant to be more special, dare I say, forever gifts.

There’s an unspoken expectation that one day, our children will be married with families living in large homes marvelously decorated with their grandmothers’ nutcrackers. Maybe that’s a comforting vision.  

But twenty years from now, our kids might be in graduate school or living in a tiny studio apartment in the city with zero storage space. They may never marry or wait to start a family until their forties. That’s more than three decades from now. When our children receive what might seem to be thoughtful gifts, the Scrooge in me thinks about who will oversee these bulky items for the next thirty years.

Does parenthood require accepting that we’ll store our children’s possessions indefinitely? What if we want to downsize in 15 years? What if we want to use our limited storage space for something more useful than nutcrackers that don’t crack nuts?

In retirement, my wife and I intend to design our lives to be more flexible so we can travel for extended periods without the burden of a costly large home full of stuff. That may mean downsizing houses or living in an apartment. We do not intend to store our adult children’s things as our parents did for our generation. A basement full of stuff we can’t bring ourselves to part with could be a deterrent from living our ideal retirement.

The nutcrackers are lovely decorations and a way to supplement the memory of a meaningful event. But not all people are enthusiastic about decorations. Cleaning up Christmas is among the worst days of each year. For how many more seasons will it continue to get worse?

My wife likes nutcrackers and thinks less about the long-term storage outlook. Though she agreed the 2022 onslaught of 15-inch nutcrackers was excessive. Even my mom agreed and said she’d cut back. If these were smaller ornaments, this wouldn’t have been an issue. Small ornaments could be a pragmatic compromise.

What’s most important to me, and hopefully everyone else, is my daughters will forever remember that their grandparents sat in the audience and watched them perform. They beamed with pride, showered the girls with hugs and congratulations afterward, and gave them flowers and oversized rainbow lollipops that elicited some of the happiest smiles the world has ever seen.

Can that be enough this year?

***

Craig Stephens blogs at Retire Before Dad to motivate both himself and others to be intentional with their finances.

The post Please Stop Buying Us Nutcrackers appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

How to Upgrade Your Lifestyle Without Spending an Extra Penny

Fifteen years ago, in Vermont, I discovered minimalism. While cleaning a garage full of clutter, my neighbor changed my life with a couple of sentences. She said, “That’s why my daughter is a minimalist. She keeps telling me I don’t need to own all this stuff.”

The scene that played out in front of me changed my life. My garage, full of dirty clutter, had taken up hours of my morning, while my 5-year old son played alone on the swing-set in the backyard.

I realized the need for change. All the things I owned were not contributing to a better life. Even worse, they were keeping me from it.

My wife and I, along with our two young kids, embarked on a journey to remove all the unnecessary possessions from our home and life. And with it, came countless benefits. Real things like: more money, more time, more focus, and less stress.

One of the most surprising benefits I discovered along the way was the ability to own higher quality items without increasing my spending.

Owning high quality items wasn’t necessarily a benefit I foresaw when I decided to embrace a more minimalist life. But it’s absolutely true!

Let me share how this realization dawned on me.

It began with my wardrobe. Like many, my closet was crammed with cheap, fast-fashion and items I had found on clearance racks. My closet was literally full of hundreds of different items.

Shortly after pursuing minimalism, I discovered the Project 333 Experiment started by Courtney Carver. I decided to give it a shot and cut my wardrobe down to just 33 items (at first, for just a three month trial).

But when I made that decision, I noticed something fascinating: Almost all of the 33 things I decided to keep were higher quality items than those I chose to discard.

“Wait a minute,” the thought occurred to me for the first time. “If I purposefully own fewer items, I could own much higher quality things. 

Minimalism and frugality are not the same.”

I could immediately upgrade the possessions in my life by spending twice as much on an item, but only buying half as many!

If I don’t need 20 pairs of pants in my closet, I could spend twice as much on the ten that I do own. If I don’t need ten pairs of shoes, I could spend twice as much on the five pairs that I do buy. If I didn’t need to own six different watches, I could buy one really nice one.

It was a simple yet life-changing realization: By owning fewer things, I could afford to invest in higher quality.

Spend twice as much on an item, but buy half as many.

Clothing is just one example. Think of all the areas in life where we could adopt this same principle: towels, linens, shoes, coats, purses, watches, ties, tools, cookware, knives, furniture, decorations, travel mugs, personal care items, technology, televisions, sporting equipment, even cars and houses. The list is virtually endless!

The quickest way to upgrade your lifestyle without spending an extra penny is to buy higher quality and lesser quantity.

And it’s available to anyone, right now, who wants to upgrade their lifestyle.

Of course, this principle will play out differently based on your income. A family making $250,000/year would apply the principle of “fewer, but better” differently than a family making $50,000/year. But unless you are already living an extreme minimalist lifestyle, there is always room for you to apply this life principle.

You can upgrade your lifestyle today without needing to spend more. Buy better, but fewer.

In the long run, in fact, my guess is that you’ll find this principle actually costs you less. When we choose to purchase higher quality, the items tend to last longer, we tend to love them longer, we tend to take better care of them, and we probably even receive more personalized care where and when we bought them.

The magic formula for upgrading your life doesn’t require more money. It just requires buying less.

The post How to Upgrade Your Lifestyle Without Spending an Extra Penny appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

For the last ten years, I have been compiling and publishing curated articles that inspire simplicity. At first, it was an exercise in communicating to Becoming Minimalist readers the most popular articles I sent out on Twitter.

But over the years, it has become more than that. It has become a place where people (every other week) come for a dose of inspiration. And it has become a place to promote and encourage writers around the world who are publishing content about minimalism, simplicity, and intentional living.

I think you will enjoy this collection of articles hand-selected for you this weekend. Grab some coffee, tea, or lemonade and be inspired to live a simpler life today.

My Family Had Way Too Much Stuff. Here’s How Becoming Minimalists Changed Our Lives | Huffington Post by Christina Crawford. “Once we got rolling, it became intoxicating. After we finished a room, I would gaze at the pile of junk and shake my head. Why hadn’t we done this years before?”

Why Having It Together Will (Hopefully) Change Your Life. | Harvard Independent by Clara Corcoran. “In order to declutter your life in earnest, your actions need to align with your individual definition of what it means to be put together.”

7 Ways to Encourage Minimalism at Home – According to Pro Organizers | Homes & Gardens by Chiana Dickson. “These are the seven ways you can encourage family to declutter and encourage minimalism at home, according to the experts.”

9 Ways to Shop Smarter for Clothing | No Sidebar by Amy Slenker-Smith. A brilliant list of tips and tricks to stop unnecessary purchasing.

The Holidays Are Not A Good Time To Overspend Your Budget | Forbes by Joshua Becker. Explore practical tips for maintaining your budget this holiday season. Enjoy the season without overspending and start the New Year on a positive financial note.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

Choose Holiday Traditions That Serve You | YouTube by Joshua Becker. The traditions we choose to celebrate should add to our holiday experience, not subtract from it.

Maybe The Best Gift You Can Give Your Family This Year is to Get Out of Debt | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Black Friday is the largest shopping day of the year. While millions will take advantage of the low prices today, many will outspend their means. Is that really the gift we want to give our families this year?

The post Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads. appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

10 Things to Remove from the Holidays to Enjoy Them More

The holiday season, with all its joy, often brings a host of expectations and excesses. While it’s certainly a time for celebration, all of the added pressures can sometimes diminish our enjoyment.

As Rachel Cruze said, “Sometimes doing less really is doing more. Remember: it’s okay to say no to some things to be able to give your full yes to others. Skipping that one holiday open house to be more present with your kids is okay!”

So, in the spirit of embracing a more fulfilling and intentional holiday experience, here are ten things to consider removing from your holiday traditions:

1. Overspending

Consumer culture pushes us to equate holiday joy with spending. But they are not the same. Challenge this notion by setting a realistic budget and sticking to it.

The best gifts often aren’t material anyway. They are found in shared experiences and heartfelt gestures.

2. Unreasonable Expectations

The pursuit of a ‘perfect’ holiday is a myth that can lead to disappointment.

Embrace imperfections and remember that joy (and sometimes the best memories) often lie in the unplanned and spontaneous moments. Still to this day, one of the holiday experiences our kids talk about most was the time we stuck in Detroit and spent a night in a hotel eating pizza (without luggage). Far from perfect in the moment, but wonderfully memorable today.

3. Overeating

The holidays are known for indulgence, but overeating can lead to discomfort and health issues and an overall down feeling.

Enjoy your favorite holiday treats in moderation and listen to your body’s signals.

4. Overdrinking

The temptation to overindulge in alcohol during the holidays is common, but it often leads to next-day regrets, poor health, and missed moments.

Embrace moderation or delightful non-alcoholic alternatives to stay present and enjoy each holiday moment fully.

If you need inspiration, Courtney Carver wrote a powerful guest post on this blog years ago about what happened in her life when she gave up alcohol. Read it here: 7 Things I Learned When I Stopped Drinking Alcohol

5. Overcommitment

Saying ‘yes’ to every invitation can leave you feeling drained. Prioritize events that are most meaningful to you and politely decline others.

Quality over quantity ensures you enjoy each event more fully.

6. Comparing with Others

Comparisons rob joy all year long. But that robbery can be even worse when spending time with family. And even in the best families, social media can amplify feelings of inadequacy.

Focus on your unique holiday experience rather than comparing it to the highlight reels of others.

7. Self-Gifting

It’s easy to get caught up in the holiday sales and start buying gifts for ourselves. Remember, the spirit of the season is about giving to others. Refrain from self-gifting and focus on the joy of giving.

When you refrain from self-gifting, you give yourself the opportunity the appreciate gifts from others even more. And the benefits can also be felt in your savings account.

8. Neglecting Self-Care

The hustle of the season can also sometimes lead us to neglect our own needs.

Make time for self-care activities that rejuvenate you—be it a quiet evening, a winter walk, or simply a moment of solitude. And if this entry following #7 seems odd… self-care doesn’t have to include buying yourself something.

9. Stressful Traditions

It is true that not all traditions contribute positively to our holiday experience. If a tradition causes more stress than joy, it’s okay to let it go or modify it. Focus on activities that bring genuine happiness to you and your loved ones.

10. Holding onto Unforgiveness

The holiday spirit is a perfect backdrop for forgiveness and reconciliation. Let go of past grievances and open your heart to the healing that comes from mending relationships.

The holidays are a time to reflect on what truly matters—faith, love, gratitude, and the joy of being with those we care about.

By choosing to remove elements that detract from these essentials, we can create a holiday season that is not only more enjoyable but also more meaningful. And doesn’t that, my friends, sound wonderful!

The post 10 Things to Remove from the Holidays to Enjoy Them More appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Change A Life. Leave A Legacy.

I recently wrote about leaving a legacy. About how the decisions we make today will define the stories that are told about us in the future. And about the importance of living a story that inspires and motivates others whenever it’s shared.

It’s one of the reasons I am so passionate about minimalism. The less we waste our lives chasing things that don’t matter, the more intention we can direct towards things that do matter—those things that leave a legacy worth sharing.

Today, we have a unique opportunity to do just that. Today is Giving Tuesday, a global movement celebrating generosity. Every year on the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, people all over the world come together to give back and make a difference.

This Giving Tuesday, I invite you to change a life. And even more than that, I invite you to leave a legacy of hope for orphaned and vulnerable children around the world.

The Hope Effect

If you’re new to this blog, allow me to provide some background information. In 2015, with the tremendous support of this community, we launched a nonprofit organization called The Hope Effect. Our mission is big: To change the way the world cares for orphans.

Millions of children across the globe are growing up without the love of a family. And less than 1% of orphaned children will ever get adopted. So how we care for the remaining 99% matters quite a bit.

In developing countries, most of these children are being raised in large institutions, commonly referred to as orphanages.

But for decades, it’s been abundantly clear that institutional care has profoundly detrimental, long-lasting impacts on children. In fact some of the first studies on the harmful effects of institutional care on a child’s developing brain date back to the 1930s!

Those who spend their formative years in orphanages often miss out on the important personal connections and individualized care that a loving family provides. As a result, their development is stunted, and their ability to learn is either significantly delayed or lost altogether.

To picture this, just imagine how a family environment helps a child develop. Think of all the interactions that a child has with his or her family: encouraging them to smile, speak their first word, or take their first steps. Without this individualized attention, affection, and stability, a child will fall behind in almost every stage of proper development because the brain is less likely to associate positive behaviors with positive outcomes.

As a result, many of these children eventually age out of orphanages, only to be confronted with a future of crime, prostitution, or trafficking. In fact, studies show that kids who grow up in institutional care are 10 times more likely to fall into sex work, 40 times more likely to commit a crime, and tragically, 500 times more likely to take their own life.

This is literally heart-breaking! And almost nobody is talking about it.

But we know there’s a better way.

That’s why The Hope Effect is working to change the way the world cares for orphaned and vulnerable children. We are providing innovative, loving family care that ensures every child has the opportunity to flourish and thrive.

We work with state and local governments, from beginning to end, changing how the world cares for orphans. If necessary, we advocate for these children and help governments understand the negative impact of institutional orphan care and the benefits of family care.

We are also involved directly in working to solve the problem. We are involved in all stages of family care solutions—recruiting, evaluating, training, placing children, and providing support for families.

Currently, we’re pioneering and expanding family care in several locations in Latin America and Southeast Asia. Children are receiving the loving care they need while learning what it means to be part of a stable, supportive family.

Kids like Ernesto*, a baby boy from Sonora, Mexico, are growing and thriving as they are surrounded by the love of a family.

Ernesto’s Story

Ernesto was abandoned in the hospital as a newborn. He was taken from the hospital and immediately processed into an orphanage. For the first few months of his life, he was without the love of a family.

Picture this, after spending just six months in the orphanage, Ernesto was already showing signs of developmental delays. He rarely smiled or expressed emotions, and he didn’t babble or even attempt to communicate with others.

In many parts of the world, Ernesto would likely remain in the orphanage for years, continuing to fall behind, and ultimately facing an uncertain future. But thankfully, there was a better option for Ernesto.

A few months ago, he was welcomed into the loving arms of a family…and his life changed forever. Surrounded by the love and care of a family, Ernesto immediately began to thrive.

But don’t just take my word for it. You can hear from Ernesto’s new family and witness his transformation with your own eyes:

What an amazing illustration of how a family’s love can profoundly impact a life. This is the work that The Hope Effect, founded through the amazing Becoming Minimalist Community, is accomplishing all around the world!

And on this Giving Tuesday, you have a unique opportunity to give hope to more kids like Ernesto. Won’t you join us?

Change A Life. Leave A Legacy. Giving Tuesday.

I’d be honored if you would join us today to change the lives of orphaned and vulnerable children… and leave a legacy of hope around the world.

This Giving Tuesday, we’ve set an ambitious goal to raise $200,000—that would be our single largest fundraising day ever.

The funds raised will be used to expand The Hope Effect into new locations in 2024. Every gift will help more children experience the love of a family.

Plus, on Giving Tuesday, you will double the impact of your gift. Every donation, up to $100,000, will be matched dollar for dollar by a generous team of donors.

And because we know you want your donation to be used for the reason it was given, you can direct 100% of your gift directly to orphan care! That was my commitment when the nonprofit started and it remains my commitment today.

Think of the legacy you can leave. When you support The Hope Effect, you’re not just helping children today. By helping societies change from institutional care to family care, you are creating a ripple of positive, lasting change across the globe. You’re fostering generational change and giving hope to future generations.

You are leaving a legacy.

Will you join us today? The Hope Effect is a 501(c)(3) organization, so your donation is tax-deductible within the U.S. If you have questions about The Hope Effect, send us an email. We are always happy to chat with anyone who would like to learn more.

Thank you so much for supporting The Hope Effect’s mission and vision over the years. Together, we are changing the way the world cares for orphans… because every child deserves a family.

*The child’s name has been changed to protect his privacy.

The post Change A Life. Leave A Legacy. appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Maybe The Best Gift You Can Give Your Family This Year is to Get Out of Debt

Today, countless shoppers will embark on their annual Black Friday shopping spree—seeking out all the perfect gifts at all the perfect prices.

In fact, this Black Friday weekend is expected to break records. 74% of consumers in the US say they intend to take advantage of sales this weekend. And Black Friday sales are expected to cross $9.8 billion in 2023—that is $680 million more than the record number recorded last year, in 2022.

All told, the average shopper will spend $430 on Black Friday.

And those numbers don’t even include all holiday shopping. Americans will spend approximately $1,000 each this year on Christmas.

Black Friday is not a relic of the past, it is only growing in popularity. In fact, adults between the ages of 35 to 44 shop the most on Black Friday. Young adults ages 18 to 24 come in second, while older adults (ages 45 to 54) come in third.

Now, those statistics might be well and good if the money was being spent on needed gifts. But that is not the case. Experts predict 33% of all Christmas gifts are returned and 52% of Americans admit to opening up at least one unwanted holiday gift each year.

But again, even unwanted gifts might not be so bad if we were spending money we had. But, all of these stats can’t be separated from the fact that many of us are already living in debt.

In fact, consumer credit card debt topped $1 trillion for the first time ever this past August. That is a 5% increase in just one quarter. 47% of US consumers are now carrying credit card debt from month to month—half of us!

And that’s just consumer debt. When you add in mortgage debt, student debt, and car loans, American households now carry a total of $17.29 trillion in debt. The average household debt in America is $103,358.

In other words, America is rushing out today to buy things people don’t want, with money they don’t have, just because someone slapped a Black Friday Sale sticker on an item in a store.

But in doing so, are we overlooking what our families truly want for us and desire from us?

If our families knew we were driving ourselves deeper and deeper into large credit card balances with ever-increasing interest rates just to buy them something for Christmas morning, is that even what they would want us to do?

Maybe some… but not most. I believe, deep down, they want something different from us. They want us to live well and with less worry.

So this Black Friday, I propose a different kind of gift-giving—one that might not fit into a neatly wrapped box, but offers long-term stability and peace of mind.

Maybe the best present we can give our loved ones this holiday season is the commitment to get out of debt—and the persistence to make it a reality in our lives.

Imagine a holiday season where the focus shifts from excessive spending to building a more secure financial future. Where we replace the stress of overspending with the gift of financial responsibility and intentionality.

Think about it this way: Love, at its essence, is about wanting what’s best for others.

And if making the bold choice to change your lifestyle in order to remove yourself from the life-robbing burden of consumer debt will lead to longer-term joy, freedom, and security in your life, isn’t that what those who love you the most want for you?

Like I said, maybe the best present we can give our loved ones this holiday season is the commitment to get out of debt. My guess is it would relieve quite a bit of worry among those who love you the most and want what’s best for you.

But what would this look like? Especially in a culture and society that so desperately champions and clamors for the expensive item packed in cardboard and wrapped with a ribbon under a tree.

Here are some of my thoughts on how to make this happen:

1. Open, Honest Communication

If financial health is a necessary goal in your life, it’s essential to have transparent conversations with your family. Humbly share with them your financial situation and why you are unable to spend a lot of money on gifts this year.

You don’t have to get into deep details, but a simple opening sentence like, “This is hard for me to say, but we’ve reached a point where we need to do something financially…”

If it helps, they probably already know you are outspending your means…

Share your aspirations to manage finances better and involve them in this journey. If it helps, lay out a timeline of what you think this might mean for next year—hopefully being able to return to typical traditions (assuming they are healthy).

2. Get Started Today

Getting out of debt should be a goal—and removing unnecessary consumer spending is a life-changing step to achieving that goal.

But I think it is a bit unfair for you to start by not buying gifts for other people. Your decision to spend less on holiday gifts this year will mean A LOT more if you’ve been making sacrifices yourself for the last month.

Make adjustments now that show you are also making personal sacrifices in order to make this a reality in your life. Cancel streaming services, sell your event tickets, stop eating out, decide to buy nothing the entire month of December, for example.

3. Gift Intentionally

Your decision to change your financial position doesn’t mean you’ll give no gifts this Christmas. It just means the gifts you do give will be different.

Consider handmade gifts, gifts of service, or experiences that cost less but carry more emotional value. What you sacrifice in spending, make up for in thoughtfulness.

This is an important step and cannot be overlooked. Your decision to get out of debt and therefore spend less on gifts this holiday season doesn’t mean you’re not going to give gifts—it means you’re going to put in extra time and effort.

4. Communicate Early

If you’re planning to shift your approach to gift-giving this year, it would be wise to communicate your intentions early, especially with immediate family members like your kids.

This not only helps set expectations but also prevents loved ones from overspending on you.

Make no mistake, cutting back on Christmas spending to get on better financial footing and stability is absolutely one of the greatest gifts you can give your children! But if they are used to opening lots of presents on Christmas morning, you’ll want to communicate early.

If you have kids, discuss why this Christmas might look different. Explain the value of financial stability and the long-term benefits that come from making wise financial decisions now.

A friend of mine recently shared how their entire financial life changed when they sat down their two teenage kids and explained the changes they were about to make in their home. Their kids, rather than being upset, felt honored to be included in the conversation and even began looking for ways the family could cut back that the parents hadn’t considered before.

This honest conversation about gifts can be an invaluable lesson in itself, teaching the importance of thoughtful spending and the true meaning of the holiday season.

5. Follow Through

Once you’ve made the decision to cut back on holiday spending to improve your financial health, it’s crucial to stick to your commitment. Remember, you can’t genuinely tell your family you’re focusing on getting out of debt and then splurge on extravagant personal indulgences like concert tickets or luxury items. That’s just selfish.

True commitment to changing your financial situation means consistent sacrifice and sticking to a budget and spending plan well into the New Year.

The real gift to your family—the gift of financial stability and security—is only realized when you follow through with your plan until your financial goals are achieved.

In a culture that too quickly equates love with material gifts, choosing to reduce debt as a holiday priority is a radical act. It requires a different mindset of thinking deep and reconsidering what our family most wants and needs from us.

But on this day of frenzied shopping where consumers already living in debt will rush out to buy even more, let’s take some time to rethink our priorities and how we bring our best into the world.

Because the very best gifts that we give to those we love the most are not found on a department store shelf.

The post Maybe The Best Gift You Can Give Your Family This Year is to Get Out of Debt appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

7 Excuses that Keep People from Owning Less and How to Overcome Them

Fifteen years ago, on a Saturday morning in Vermont, my neighbor introduced me to a truth that would change my life: Owning less can revolutionize our daily existence.

Oh, I’m not sure she meant all that when she told me her daughter was a minimalist. But after working all morning to clean out my garage, the connection was immediately made in my mind between owning less and having more freedom.

Despite having plenty of available excuses that could have held me back—not making enough money, having two young kids, working 50 hours a week, and a scarcity of resources on minimalism available in the world—I was motivated by the promise of a simpler life. I wanted more time, more resources, more freedom, less stress, and more opportunity to focus on what matters most in life.

My journey, like many others, was filled with internal debates and justifications, but the vision of a clutter-free, intentional life was compelling enough to push past them.

Since that day, and the start of this blog that same weekend, I have met many people who desire to own less, but for some reason believe it is just not possible for them.

Oftentimes, it seems to me, we find ourselves crafting excuses that hinder our journey towards minimalism. They seem justifiable—a shield against the hard work, the unknown, or discomfort of change. But when we peel back the layers, we uncover a path to a life of more freedom, peace, and fulfillment.

Let me address some of the common excuses I hear and how to move beyond them by both shifting our mindset and taking practical steps:

1. “I Don’t Have Enough Time”

The world is a busy place and many are living at breakneck speed. Finding time to minimize the possessions in a home is simply not possible, we believe.

Mindset Shift: Think of decluttering as an investment. Every minute you spend decluttering results in an extra hour of time on the back-end. Minimizing is not adding something to your schedule, it is a step of beginning to clear out and open your schedule.

Practical Step: Think of one commitment or hobby that you can remove temporarily. Your decluttering will have an endpoint and anything you suspend today can be added back plus more. But you are right, if you can’t find 10-15 minutes/day to begin the process, you will need to make a minor adjustment to keep owning less a priority until those time dividends begin paying off (which will be sooner than you think).

2. “I Have Kids at Home”

Minimalism with kids is definitely more difficult than if you were living alone, but having kids in the home makes minimalism more important because they are watching and learning about the role of possessions in your home and life.

Mindset Shift: Introducing your children to a lifestyle of less is a gift that keeps on giving. It teaches them about value, appreciation, and living intentionally.

Practical Step: Your first step toward owning less should not be making your kids get rid of their things first—no matter how tempting that might be. Begin by decluttering your stuff first, and explaining to them along the way why you are doing what you are doing. If they offer to help, awesome! If they don’t, even after you have completed your personal work, teach your kids how to own less based on all the lessons you have learned.

3. “I’m Just a Messy Person”

The language we speak to ourselves matters quite a bit. If you have spent a lifetime telling yourself that you are always going to be a messy, disorganized person, there’s no wonder why your home reflects that fact. But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Mindset Shift: Your predisposition doesn’t have to be your future, and past behavior isn’t necessarily, your destiny. Every day is an opportunity to foster new, healthier habits.

Practical Step: Start by minimizing one area in your home that you use every day and then maintaining it daily. You’ll find that the less you own, the easier it is to be organized. And this small win can be a powerful motivator for bigger changes.

4. “This Is Just What I Learned Growing Up”

When I speak on the topic of minimalism and have opportunity, I encourage people to consider how their family of origin affected their view of possessions. It is a powerful determinant, sometimes good and sometimes bad, in how we view and consider physical possessions today. There is no doubt you may have learned some unhelpful lessons while growing up.

Mindset Shift: The lessons that were learned in past seasons of life may not be serving you well in your current season. You have the power to craft a new legacy, different from what you learned growing up.

Practical Step: Sit down quietly with yourself and ask, “How did my family of origin affect my current view of possessions?” Identify one attitude or habit from your upbringing you want to change, and then commit to a 29-day experiment of intentionally breaking free from it.

5. “I’m Too Overwhelmed to Know Where to Start”

We live in a period of time that is very unique—never before in human history have human beings owned as much stuff as we do today. So the process can appear overwhelming. But others have made the change in their home, and so can you.

Mindset Shift: Overwhelm is a natural part of any change. Overwhelm occurs most often when we consider the entire project all at once rather than breaking up the work into smaller pieces. Remind yourself that you didn’t collect all your possessions overnight and you don’t have to remove them all at once. But with small steps, any journey is possible.

Practical Step: Break down your decluttering project into manageable tasks and start with the easiest one. The most effective method to decluttering your entire home is to work through your home, room-by-room, starting with the easiest, most lived-in spaces.

6. “My Spouse Would Never Go for It”

You are right, you may have discovered minimalism before your spouse or partner. And they may seem hesitant to get started. But I have learned that there is much progress that you can make by just removing your own personal unneeded possessions first, and allowing your example to win him or her over.

Mindset Shift: Remind yourself that it is always easier to see everyone else’s clutter than it is to see our own. My spouse may never fully come onboard to the degree that I have, but that is okay. There is freedom that I can bring to this home by simply removing the possessions I can control. In the long run, the benefits of owning less always outweigh the pursuit and accumulation of unnecessary things.

Practical Step: Always lead with love, patience, faithfulness, and humility. Remind yourself that minimalism is the good that you can bring to this relationship. And while you can not fully control your partner, you can still make significant progress by decluttering your own belongings and sharing the positive impact it has on your life with your spouse.

7. “I Live in Four Seasons, So I Need a Lot of Clothes”

I discovered minimalism in Vermont and shortly after decluttered my clothes closet from over 150 things to 33 things. Years later, I moved to Arizona. I agree that living in four seasons requires more thoughtfulness in picking out the clothes that will live in your closet. But it is entirely possible and people do it all the time.

Mindset Shift: Seasonal changes don’t necessitate excess. And there are no perfect places on earth where the temptation to overaccumulate doesn’t persist. Your specific practice of minimalism might look different from someone living in a more temperate climate, but that doesn’t make it any less possible. No matter where you live, minimalism is about making smart, versatile choices.

Practical Step: Try out a Project 333 Experiment. The experiment lasts just three months—so no matter your climate, you can find a season of year to learn from it.

Before I end, there are two main thoughts that motivate me whenever I feel an excuse keeping me from success:

Finding Motivation in Others’ Successes

I am motivated greatly by the success I see in others. If someone is busy, but still finds time for their family, I realize I can do the same. If someone earns less than me, but is still generous with their money, I realize I can do the same. If someone lives a busy life, but still finds the time to declutter their home, then why can’t I?

Remember, countless individuals in circumstances similar to yours have successfully embraced a minimalist lifestyle. They, too, had careers, children, and busy lives. Their success is proof that you can do it too—use that as a source of inspiration. If they can do it, so can you.

Always Focus on the Positives

Our mindset plays a crucial role in overcoming excuses.

If we only think of the reasons we can’t accomplish a step in our lives, we’ll forever be held back by them. If, on the other hand, we look for the reasons why we can accomplish the change, we’ll find the pathway to success.

Negativity and doubt can be self-fulfilling prophecies. But so can positivity, optimism, and hope. Focus not just on the joy, peace, and freedom that await on the other side of decluttering. Focus on all the good things you have in your life to help you accomplish that task—like this website and helpful article :)

Minimalism will bless your life with positive results you haven’t even considered. But owning less is better than reading about owning less.

So overcome any excuse keeping you from it!

The post 7 Excuses that Keep People from Owning Less and How to Overcome Them appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Fill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

I invite you to fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

In my 40s I’ve Started Decluttering My House in Preparation For My Death – Everyone Should | i newspaper by Sophie Morris. Prompted by the travel guide saga in 2021, I began to see the incredible volume of unused, unloved and, often, useless stuff a family of three in a modest semi was holding on to. 

30 Reasons to Not Go Shopping on Black Friday | No Sidebar. Rather than contributing to the estimated $10 Billion that will be spent in the US this year on Black Friday, decide to opt-out.

10 Minimalist Shopping Tips for Surviving Black Friday | Doable Simplicity by Jessalynn Jones. I hope these tips help you shop like a minimalist so you can avoid regret and stress, get your shopping done faster, and have more fun with your family.

Choosing Contentment: Can We Find Fulfillment Without Upgrading Everything? | Simple Money by Richard James. What if we redefine success, not as the accumulation of things but as the cultivation of relationships, the investment in experiences, and the growth of our spirits?

Could a Minimalist Lifestyle Reduce Carbon Emissions and Improve Wellbeing? | Wires by Rebecca Blackburn. 27 Journal Papers on the topic of minimalism have been published since 2016 (Becoming Minimalist was founded in 2008). Here’s the most recent.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

Why “Make Your Coffee at Home” is About More Than Saving a Few Dollars | YouTube by Joshua Becker. “Make your coffee at home instead of buying it out everyday” is advice we often hear when looking for ways to save a few dollars. Why the daily savings probably won’t gain you a fortune, here’s why I think the simple act has more value than we give it credit for these days.

15 Things That Weigh More the Longer You Carry Them | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Sometimes what drags us down isn’t a bunch of things in a closet. It’s what’s going on inside us. Feelings and worries can weigh a lot, and the longer you carry them, the heavier they get.

Join Me Live Next Monday

Next Monday (Monday, November 27 at 9:00pm ET) I’ll be hosting a Live Online Event on Giving Tuesday Eve along with Executive Director Joe Darago to share more about my nonprofit, The Hope Effect, and answer all your questions.

The event is entirely free and everyone who attends will have a chance to win a personalized voicemail greeting, recorded by me, that you can use on your phone.

The one-hour, live, virtual Town Hall is happening next Monday, November 27 at 9:00pm ET. To sign up, click here.

The post Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads. appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.