Joshua Becker's Blog, page 12

Rest If You Must, But Don’t Quit

There are times in life when every day feels like a battle. The road is tough, the climb is steep, and the burden is heavy. And there are times when we are tempted to throw in the towel.

Maybe you are feeling that today.

It is in those moments we search everywhere and anywhere for encouragement.

I was recently touched by a simple line from a simple poem. The verse, written by Edgar A Guest is simply this:

Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

You can read the entire poem here.

But that one simple phrase leaps off the page. It is needed because it is a powerful, but gentle nudge to never give up, to never quit. To keep going, even when the going gets tough.

And we all need to be reminded of it from time-to-time.

If these are words that you need to hear today, I want to offer them to you.

Our most meaningful work in life will always be difficult. No matter what the quick-fix industry and self-proclaimed experts want to tell you, there is no easy way to achieve the most fulfilling pursuits that truly matter in life.

The most significant matters in ours lives will always require our fullest attention and resolve. There is no coasting towards the things in life that matter. All important goals require work.

Because of this, this journey of life requires not just the courage to start but the perseverance to keep going, every day, especially through the toughest trials we face.

Sometimes we need to rest, to catch our breath, to regroup, and that’s okay. Sometimes that is the most important thing we can do. What’s important is that we get back up, we keep moving, and we never give up.

If you need encouragement today to keep working and striving, rest if you must, but don’t give up.

To the parents watching as their child takes a path they hadn’t hoped for… rest if you must, but keep fighting for what’s best for them—and always continue with your love and your prayers.

To those wrestling with health challenges… rest if you must, but never give up on yourself and the opportunity for health or impact still in front of you.

To those caring for a loved one as they near the end of their life… rest if you must, but keep serving faithfully and finding joy in every moment you can while together.

To those working to change your lives for the better…. rest if you must, but know that breaking old habits and behaviors takes time, attention, and renewed discipline every morning.

To anyone who is trying to pick up the pieces of their life shattered by someone else… rest if you must, but find hope in knowing there is still a new and brighter future ahead of you.

To anyone who is fighting for a better world, for justice, kindness, and change, your path is essential. Rest if you must… but know that your efforts create ripples of change that extend far beyond what you can see. So keep believing, keep advocating, keep fighting.

To those of you working to create a new culture for your home and family… rest if you must, but don’t quit. Set the example, celebrate little wins, and know the change is worth the effort.

Simplifying our lives by removing distractions—whether it’s excess stuff, unnecessary commitments, or negative influences—can make our journey a bit easier. But it can never remove all burdens and obstacles.

We all face hard times, we all feel weighed down at moments. But we also all have the opportunity to persevere. Your efforts, your struggles, and your resilience inspire more people than you know.

You are not alone.

If you need to find encouragement in your life today, I hope you find it here. Because we are all cheering for you.

Rest if you must, but don’t quit.

The post Rest If You Must, But Don’t Quit appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

It’s Better to Drive an Old Car than Be Burdened By New Debt

I once asked an Economics Professor to contribute an article to Simple Money Magazine.

My instructions were vague on purpose, “Assume you had opportunity to teach just one economic principle to every person on the planet. What is the one lesson you think is most important for everybody to know?”

I didn’t know what he would choose to write about. But to be honest, I was pretty intrigued to see which principle he would choose.

Want to guess what economic lesson he decided to teach?

Don’t overspend your income? Save every month? Learn about compound interest? How to create a budget?

Nope, none of those.

The ASU Economics Professor wrote about the economic principle of “Opportunity Cost.”

If you don’t know, the technical definition of opportunity cost is “the forgone benefit that would have been derived from an option other than the one that was chosen.”

In other words, with every purchase we make, there are sacrifices we assume—alternatives that we must forgo. Every dollar spent on an item is one less dollar that could have been spent somewhere else.

I loved his decision to highlight “Opportunity Cost” as the one economic principle he most wanted everyone to know. It is a concept that is an important principle for life—especially in an age where consumerism and choice often cloud our judgment.

Of course, it is also a principle that carries weight beyond mere dollars. Because sometimes the purchases we make require us to forgo alternatives that are bigger than dollars and cents.

Take the example of choosing whether to buy a new car or not. On one hand, we can see the opportunity cost very plainly. If I choose to use my money to buy a new car that means I have less money left over for a vacation or new furniture or new clothes. But, if I have those things already, the opportunity cost seems slim.

Not to mention, there are advertisements, all day long on television, encouraging me to buy the new car. It will be adventurous, it will be flashy, it will draw attention, it will bring luxury into my life… it will spark new and amazing outings with my family that I apparently couldn’t take in my old car.

The decision quickly becomes an irresistible one. I want the new car and am willing to part with the dollars. The opportunity cost is worth it, I convince myself.

But what if the purchase of that car brings more than a new set of wheels into my driveway? After all, unless I am paying the full-price in cash, it will also bring a monthly car payment.

And debt, especially for a depreciating asset like a new car, becomes a constant burden. The immediate gratification of driving a new car off the lot is quickly overshadowed by the years and years of monthly payments, the interest, the insurance, the depreciation, and the stress of now needing to maintain something more valuable.

In this scenario, the “cost” of the vehicle wasn’t just the sticker price and terms of the car loan, it also cost me a measure of peace. The “opportunity cost” was more than just what items the dollars could have been spent on economically—the opportunity cost also included my well-being.

And, as the old saying goes, “Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive.“

In this scenario, I had to give up something potentially more valuable than dollars. I had to sacrifice calm, peace, financial freedom, and the satisfied feelings of knowing the car I drive is fully paid for.

Now, this isn’t to say that there is never a time when a vehicle needs to be replaced. It’s just to say: Given the options, it’s often better to drive an old car with peace of mind than a new car burdened by stress and debt.

And of course, the application of this principle extends far beyond the driveway. We see it all around us.

Almost every day, we are presented with opportunities to spend our money on more and newer things. And while not every purchase may require a loan like a new (or used) car, the cumulative effects of those financial decisions begin to play a significant role in our lives.

Consider these examples:

Smartphones. Every year, new models tempt us with slightly better cameras, marginally faster processors, or just a cool new color or design that everyone seems to want. Many people do choose to make a monthly payment on these devices. But even if you don’t, is buying a newer phone really worth the price every year—or even every couple years? Especially if there are other debts you are currently repaying? Wouldn’t it be better to use an older phone and get out of credit card debt than buy a new one?

Homes. The average American home has tripled in size in the last 50 years. They continue to get bigger and bigger. And we continue to buy them—despite homes becoming less and less affordable. But just because the bank pre-approves you for a mortgage loan doesn’t mean you need to spend the entire amount on your purchase. It is important to also ask, “What amount of my peace and life am I sacrificing just to live in a bigger house?” Wouldn’t it be better to live in a modest-sized home and experience more freedom than buy a big one?

Entertainment. A financial advisor once told me, “Most people who are struggling financially do so because they have overspent in one of three ways: 1) Too much house, 2) Too much car, or 3) Too much entertainment.” By entertainment, he meant the broadest definition (restaurants, vacations, alcohol, shows, sports, events). Restaurants and trips and shows are certainly enjoyable—and there is no shortage of them available to us. But if the opportunity cost is getting ahead financially, is it worth the expense? Wouldn’t it be better to find simpler forms of entertainment and no longer stress about money than spending money every weekend on entertainment?

We live in a society that confuses success with material wealth. In that world, fancy cars, big houses, and the latest gadgets are always worth the price. After all, that is where the good life is being lived.

But deep-down, we know better than that and want something different. We want to live responsible lives. Not in debt, but within our means.

To accomplish that, we must actively and intentionally wage war against the temptations to accumulate that surround us every day.

And one way we do that is to count the opportunity cost of every purchase. Not just in terms of the dollars that could be spent elsewhere (although that is a concern). But also in the peace and freedom we sacrifice in every purchase.

I don’t know about you. But I’d much rather live in peace with less, than stressed-out with much.

The post It’s Better to Drive an Old Car than Be Burdened By New Debt appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Your home is your sanctuary. Let’s keep it that way.

Simplicity is about creating space in your life for what matters most. It’s about clearing the clutter from our homes and hearts so we can live with intention and purpose. 

As the world gets busier and noisier, embracing simplicity and minimalism becomes even more important.

But we all need inspiration to keep us going. That’s why I carefully selected these articles for you. I hope they inspire you to continue on this beautiful journey towards a simpler life. 

Find a cozy spot, prepare your favorite drink, and immerse yourself in these thought-provoking reads this weekend.

10 Reasons Why You Should Never Ever Become a Minimalist | No Sidebar. Here are 10 absolutely terrible reasons why you should definitely steer clear of this dreadful lifestyle.

Lighten the Load: The Army’s Plan to Save Time by Shedding Excess Gear | Army Times by Todd South. A recent pilot program now making its way across the force aims to clear out the junk cluttering a unit’s space and free up time for soldiering.

Glimpse Into Man’s Minimalist Lifestyle Has Viewers Hooked | Newsweek by Maria Azzurra Volpe. My outdated kitchen still keeps me fed. My worn out shoes still protect my feet. My untrendy water bottle still keeps my water cold. My outdated headphones still bring me the songs I love. A grateful and minimal life is a beautiful one.

15 Reasons You’ll Love Living in a Smaller Home | Simple Money by Richard James. The median home size for newly constructed houses has increased by 150% since 1980—all while the median family size gets smaller and smaller. But there are many reasons to consider living in a smaller home. And you’ll love every one of them!

The Complete Beginner’s Guide to Minimalism | Conni Biesalski. A minimalist way of living has changed my life in so many amazing ways.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

How to Upgrade Your Lifestyle Without Spending an Extra Penny | YouTube by Joshua Becker. With the prices of everything going up, how can we improve our lives without spending any extra money? The answer might surprise you.

Golden Handcuffs are Sometimes Silver | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Sometimes the money we make (and spend) keeps us trapped in lives we don’t want to live.

Other Resources

The Curiosity Chronicle by Sahil Bloom. Sahil publishes a free email newsletter twice/week that is focused on actionable, tactical insights that can be immediately implemented for personal development and growth. I signed up for the newsletter a couple years ago and really enjoy it. Maybe you will too.

The post Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads. appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

10 Compelling Reasons to Reduce the Clutter In Your Life

One of the reasons minimalism isn’t accepted by everyone is because not everyone considers the weight of clutter in our lives.

But clutter is more than an innocent bystander in our homes. It doesn’t just exist for better or worse. It is always a burden, a distraction, an obstacle to our most intentional life.

And this isn’t merely about the physical space that clutter occupies. Clutter represents more—missed opportunities, wasted resources, unintentional decisions, and, most importantly, a departure from the life we could be living.

Especially in this day and age, where the accumulation of goods is often mistaken for success, it’s important to pause and reflect on the impact of our possessions on our peace and purpose. To that end, here are:

10 Reasons to Reduce the Clutter In Your Life

1. Every item we own adds a little more stress into our lives.

Every item we own takes up physical space in our home and mental space in our mind. Each item of clutter is something we need to think about and care for. Individually, each item isn’t much. But collectively, the more we own, the more anxiety we add.

2. Every excess possession represents limited potential.

The resources—time, money, energy—invested in unnecessary belongings are resources that could have been (and still could be) redirected towards fulfilling our dreams and igniting our passions. Removing clutter paves the way for a more fulfilling life.

3. Clutter is a visual distraction.

Just like your ear sends electrical signals to your brain when sound is present, your eyes constantly send electrical signals to your brain when visual stimuli is present. The more physical clutter that surrounds us, the more “visual noise” we experience. A decluttered environment fosters a calmer, sharper, more focused mind.

4. Clutter represents postponed decisions.

The accumulation of clutter often stems from our reluctance to make decisive choices or take decisive actions. We keep things or allow spaces to get cluttered simply by our inability to act. Tackling the clutter head-on not only clears our space but also hones our decision-making abilities, making us more resolute and purposeful.

5. The first step in crafting the life you want is to get rid of everything you don’t.

By removing the non-essentials, we make room for new opportunities, relationships, and experiences. If you need a change in your life, declutter the stuff you don’t want. You’ll find it clears the path to a brand new life more significantly than you think.

7. Your home should be a source of calm and rest, not frustration and stress.

As Peter Walsh says, “Your home should be the antidote to stress, not the cause of it.” Similarly, in my book, The Minimalist Home, I explain how our home is not just a port for rest and refuge, it is the launching pad from which we make a difference in the world. Decluttering creates an environment that nurtures relaxation and renewal.

7. Your kids are watching.

The decisions we make about what we keep and what we discard offer powerful lessons in value, simplicity, and the essence of living. When we live with more than we need, it only makes sense that our kids will ask for things they don’t need. Our choices shape the next generation’s understanding of both fulfillment and best practices for living.

8. Decluttering fosters gratitude for what remains.

When we remove the items we don’t need, our gratitude for the items we choose to keep increases. This intentional selection process highlights the value and significance of each remaining piece, fostering a deeper sense of appreciation and thankfulness for each.

9. Decluttering strengthens resilience against consumer culture.

Decluttering and Overcoming Consumerism are two different journeys—similar to the difference between going on a diet and changing your eating habits going forward. But the first step toward overcoming the pull of a consumer culture is recognizing the benefits of owning less. And you’ll only get there once you start doing it.

10. You deserve it!

Choosing to declutter your home and life is an act of self-respect and self-worth. It is a statement that you deserve to live the life you want to live—and are willing to take the steps necessary to achieve it.

No doubt, each of the reasons above are compelling enough to motivate us to make a change in our living or working environment if one is required.

But if there is even one reason that stands out to you—one that feels particularly relevant to your life right now—consider today your clear sign to take the first step towards a simpler, more intentional life.

Begin with that motivation, and let it guide you towards the decluttering change you need to see.

If you’re ready to get started now, let me recommend two more articles for you to get you moving in that direction one step at a time:

Owning Less is Better than Thinking About Owning LessThe Simple Guide to a Clutter-Free Home

The post 10 Compelling Reasons to Reduce the Clutter In Your Life appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Think What You Could Accomplish if You Devoted Your Whole Self

A number of years ago, when my son was 13, we decided to hike Humphrey’s Peak, just north of Flagstaff, AZ. The trail is difficult. It is steep and long and extremely rocky. Above the treeline, it exposes you completely to the whims of nature.

At 12,637 feet, Humphrey’s is Arizona’s tallest mountain. The challenging hike was complicated by the fact that we were hardly experienced hikers at the time.

At the bottom of the trail, I remember noticing a number of signs warning of “False Peaks Ahead.” I gave the signs little thought as I had no idea what a “false peak” was at the time—and wasn’t ready to jump to any conclusions about it being something we could fall off of. So we continued on.

The hours-long hike got tougher and tougher as the mountain got steeper and steeper. Above the tree lines, with leg muscles burning, we just kept walking, one foot in front of the other, with our eyes on the goal.

At one point, we could see the top of the mountain. The sight was very invigorating and seemed within reach so we just kept moving. The top got closer and closer. Eventually, as we took our final steps onto the top… I learned what a “false summit” is.

Very quickly, a “false summit” is essentially an illusion of the top of the mountain. From your angle climbing, the summit above you appears to be the top. Except when you reach it and can see beyond it, you suddenly realize it’s not the actual peak of the mountain. The trail continues. There is more hiking to do, more ground to cover, and a higher elevation and accomplishment to achieve.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize my experience with false summits on that hike mirrors life in a profound way.

We all have goals—important things that we want to achieve in our lives. They may vary in specifics from person-to-person and some may be more well-defined than others, but we all hold them.

And while we may not know the specifics of what accomplishment looks like in each of those areas, we have a general sense of how good we can be and how high we climb.

But what I’ve discovered is that most of us underestimate how successful we can truly be.

Just like my son and I, while on the hiking trial, didn’t think we could possibly take another step as we reached that first false summit, once we saw that there was more to achieve, we found the drive and passion to continue—achieving more and more with every step.

We thought we knew what success looked like. But we soon realized, if we kept driving forward toward the goal, we could do more than we first thought possible. And life, in many ways, looks similar.

The problem is, unlike a dedicated hike on one Saturday in August, the journey of life is filled many days. And each of them with ups and downs, twists and turns, and countless distractions.

In fact, the distractions that keep us from achieving our greatest goals surround us constantly.

In the clutter and noise of daily life, distractions are everywhere. From the lure of material possessions, the endless scroll on our screens, the trivial time-wasters available to us, to the never-satisfying pursuit of money, power, or accolades, these distractions surround us every day. And they quite often keep us from fully focusing our energy on what truly matters.

Almost daily, they hold us back from giving our whole selves to the pursuits that bring real meaning to our lives. And when they do, they keep us from achieving our truest potential in life.

On the other hand, just think what you could accomplish if you devoted your whole self to the goals and values you hold most dear. Undistracted and undeterred, you’d climb higher and accomplish more than you’ve ever dreamt possible.

There’s an old quote that goes like this, “Most people overestimate what they can do in a day, and underestimate what they can do in a lifetime.” And I believe that to be entirely true.

You were designed to accomplish great things. Why would you waste that potential on things that don’t matter? Or, as the philosopher Seneca called them: “heedless luxury and no good activity.”

Just imagine the possibilities if we cleared away the distractions that consume our days.

What could we achieve if we directed our full attention and energy and resources towards our truest passions?

Whether it’s becoming a more engaged parent, a more creative thinker, or a more dedicated advocate for change, our greatest achievements lie in fully committing to our passions. In no longer wasting the one life that we have to live.

Mark Twain once said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” I like to add a third: “The day we throw off anything that distracts us from that purpose.”

So what goal do you need to be reminded of today? What person in your life do you want love better? What problem in the world do you want to solve? What team do you want to lead better? What faith do you want to commit yourself to more fully? What creative endeavor has been on your heart for years?

Go. Chase it. Give yourself fully to it.

Because when you do, you will achieve more than you even thought possible. You can be a better father, a better leader, a better spouse, a better advocate, a better artist, a better _______ (fill in the blank however you desire).

Today is the day. And this is your invitation. Let’s not let distractions deter us or keep us from the mountaintop.

Instead, let’s keep climbing, focusing on what’s truly important, and discover just how much we can all achieve when we devote our whole selves to it. You just might be surprised how much you can accomplish if you devoted your whole self.

The post Think What You Could Accomplish if You Devoted Your Whole Self appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

10 Questions To Push Your Minimalism Further

Becoming a minimalist can transform our lives.

Intentionally owning less frees us from the confines of consumerism and enables us to focus on what truly matters. And when we devote our entire selves to things we are passionate about, we accomplish more than we ever imagine.

With that in mind, the further we push into minimalism, the more freedom we find. It is possible, of course, to minimize so many possessions that it becomes a burden to the life we want to live. But in most every case that I know personally, the greatest opportunity of life is still found in owning even less.

Especially after the initial purge, there’s often room to dive deeper into the minimalist journey.

If you look around your home and believe there are more possessions that can be removed but are struggling to get there, I wrote this article to help.

Here are 10 thought-provoking questions that can guide you to further refine your relationship with possessions and redefine what’s essential.

1. What Am I Holding Onto Out Of Fear?

Often, we cling to items because of the fear of scarcity, loss, or “just in case” scenarios. Reflect on whether your possessions are safety nets or unnecessary burdens. Also, ask yourself if the physical possession you are keeping is really helping you overcome the fear you hold.

2. Does Everything I Own Align With My Current Values And Goals?

Our lives are continuously evolving, and so do our values and aspirations. Evaluate whether each item in your home supports the life you aspire to live now, not the life you lived in the past. Because if an item isn’t promoting your greatest value and good, it’s distracting from it.

3. How Much Good Could I Do With My Money If I Bought Even Less?

Consider the positive impact your resources could have if redirected from acquiring to contributing. Could buying less mean giving more to causes that resonate with you?

4. Are There Possessions I Keep Purely To Impress Others?

Examine whether your possessions are for your joy and utility or if they serve as trophies for external validation. Authentic living doesn’t require approval. Consider not just symbols of success that you are holding onto, but purchases you made to keep up with current trends and fads.

5. Are There Unused Items That Could Benefit Someone Else Right Now?

Think about items gathering dust in your space that could fulfill a need or bring joy to someone else. Letting go can be an act of generosity. And generosity is WAY more fulfilling than a dusty item on your shelf.

6. Have I Explored Owning Less In Every Area Of My Home?

Challenge yourself to look into spaces you might have overlooked. Sometimes, we unconsciously declare certain areas off-limits to decluttering. Other times, we just get caught up in other things and forget to make progress in every room.

7. Are My Possessions Still Dictating How I Spend My Time?

Assess if cleaning, organizing, or managing your stuff is still consuming more of your time and life than they should. If so, that might be a great sign that there is more progress to be made. And if there is more progress to be made, there is more freedom to be found.

8. Can I Draw Inspiration From Those Living Happily With Less?

Look to examples of individuals or cultures thriving with minimal possessions. What lessons can their contentment and simplicity teach you? And how can their example challenge you?

9. Did I Ever Live Happily With Less Than I Own Now?

Reflect on periods of your life with fewer belongings. Often, we find that our happiest memories are not tied to what we owned but to experiences and relationships. If you owned less and survived just fine in the past, can that fact help you overcome the lifestyle creep that has become your new norm?

10. What’s The Worst That Could Happen If I Let Go Of More?

Confronting this question can demystify the fears associated with letting go. More often than not, we discover the hypothetical losses are far outweighed by the gains in freedom and clarity.

This deeper layer of decluttering is not about removing things from your space but about reclaiming your time, energy, and essence for what’s genuinely enriching. And often requires us to ask the right questions.

I hope these ten help you find the answers you are looking for.

The post 10 Questions To Push Your Minimalism Further appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

How to Have Meaningful Relationships in an Increasingly Digital World

Our lives are becoming increasingly intertwined with technology in both good and harmful ways. And that is not going to change. Nor should it—we just need to learn how to use technology for good before we allow it to harm us too much.

And certainly, one of the ways we will learn how to navigate this new world is by never forgetting or neglecting the importance and value of meaningful, in-person relationships.

Despite the many benefits technology brings, including connecting us with people across the globe and facilitating relationships that might not have otherwise formed, there’s a growing sense of loneliness and isolation shadowing our advance into the new frontiers of technology use.

In fact, recent studies highlight a concerning trend: as our world becomes more digital, rates of loneliness, anxiety, and depression are on the rise.

In 2023, the Surgeon General labeled loneliness and isolation an epidemic. And a recent Harvard survey found that 61% of adults from ages 18 to 25 reported feeling serious loneliness (compared to 39% across the general population). Additionally, 51% of young mothers report those same feelings of loneliness.

This rise in digital connection seems to have ushered in a decline in real, heartfelt, meaningful connections.

I understand the argument that human relationships are changing and I can see, to some extent, why people argue that digital relationships are just a new form of relationship. But the stats seem to run contrary to the argument and belief that online relationships are the same as in-person.

As humans, we are made up of body, mind, and spirit. It is true that we connect via mind and spirit through a screen, but that’s not all that makes us who we are. There is a different level of connection that takes place when our physical bodies gather in the same location.

The texture of a handclasp, the warmth in a smile, and the comfort of a shared silence—these elements of human interaction are irreplaceable and essential for our well-being. That is why an in-person conversation can leave us feeling so much more satisfied than a phone call or FaceTime.

As we navigate through this digital age, it’s important we strike a balance.

My goal with this article isn’t to downplay the opportunity of technology in each of our lives. In many ways, technology allows me to do the work that I do.

My goal is to call attention to and serve as a gentle reminder of the importance of nurturing our in-person connections. Because they are just as important today as they were yesterday—maybe even more so based on the numbers and studies that are being reported….

If you sense a greater need for meaningful relationships in your life, here are some practical steps and ideas to bring them about:

Admit the Need for Them

This world, it seems, is continually pushing us toward technology as the solution to our problems. Chat with your friends online, scroll social media, hold your meetings over Zoom, talk to your friends while playing video games at your own home, hang out in the Meta-verse. There are even tools to watch the same television shows as your friends at the same time—but while you are in different places and sitting on different couches.

Therefore, the first step to finding meaningful relationships is to realize and admit that those virtual spaces will never replace real places for deep and fulfilling friendships. They serve a purpose, but they cannot fulfill the need inside each of us for in-person relationships.

Make Time for Relationships

In our busy lives, it’s all too easy to let meaningful interactions slip through the cracks. And if we haven’t taken the first step of admitting our need for them, it’s even easier to fill our days and free time with unintentional time-wasters.

On the other hand, scheduling time for face-to-face meetings, whether it’s a coffee date, a walk in the park, or a simple meal together, is an important step to creating and finding opportunities for deeper connection. These moments allow us to share experiences, emotions, and the simple presence of one another, bringing a sense of belonging and understanding.

Put Down the Digital Device

For many of us, the best way to make time for relationships is to put down the digital device. All of them. Less social media, less television, less YouTube, fewer podcasts, fewer video games. This is a step that we need to take both before and during our relationships with others.

Deciding to spend less time in front of a screen opens up opportunity for interaction with others. And intentionally setting aside our devices during conversations shows respect and appreciation for the person in front of us. It signals that we value this time together and are fully present, ready to engage and listen deeply.

Ask Questions

Curiosity about another’s life, thoughts, and feelings can be the key to unlocking meaningful exchanges. By asking open-ended questions, we invite others to share more about themselves, which can lead to a deeper connection.

Just ask questions is still one of the best pieces of conversation advice I ever received. As a bonus, this practice not only enriches our relationships but also broadens our perspective on the world.

I was recently chatting with a new friend who told me that his goal in every conversation is to let the other person talk 80% about themselves while he talks 20% about himself. “But you’re always asking me questions,” he said with a smile, “you always give me a run for my money on that goal.” I loved hearing that!

Be Selfless and Loving

Genuinely meaningful relationships will always, always require selflessness and love. Only trying to “get” from a relationship will never result in anything lasting or fulfilling.

So even though your goal may be to meet a need in your life (meaningful relationships), you’ll only get there by trying to serve and love others first.

If it helps, approaching relationships with a selfless attitude will quickly transform superficial interactions into meaningful bonds. Acts of kindness, understanding, and unconditional support speak volumes about our care and commitment to those around us. And bringing that attitude into any and every interaction is the quickest way to discover exactly what you’re hoping to find.

Be Vulnerable When Appropriate

Vulnerability is the cornerstone of trust and intimacy in relationships. Sharing our fears, dreams, and challenges with trusted individuals can create a safe space for both parties to be authentic and supportive.

We may impress people with our successes. But we connect with people through our weakness.

Share Experiences Together

Participating in activities together can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories. This can be especially true for men who bond quicker over shared experiences.

Whether it’s a hobby, a sports game, a book club, or a volunteer project, shared experiences allow us to see different facets of each other and build a shared history that enriches the relationship.

Celebrate Each Other’s Successes

As your relationship grows and matures, take great joy in the achievements and happiness of others. There is no room for jealousy in genuine friendships. As the old quote goes, “Always clap for your friends, even if their dreams come true before yours.”

Celebrating successes, no matter how small, shows that we value and take pride in each other’s accomplishments.

Look for Relationships Outside Digital Meet-ups and Dating Apps

It is true that there are countless apps and websites designed for the sole purpose of creating relationships—both friendship and intimate (in every possible definition of the word).

And there is not a doubt in my mind that some of you have found wonderful relationships through those platforms. But there also exists an entire world of community outside those platforms. Clubs, groups, churches, and community events are happening all around you. Look for them. These settings allow for organic, face-to-face interactions that can lead to more efficient (and better) decisions about friendship and connection.

It’s almost surprising when you think about it. Surrounded by a digital world that offers unparalleled opportunities for connectivity 24/7, we are struggling more than ever to find it in meaningful ways.

Work hard to develop meaningful relationships in your life. You won’t regret it in the short-term or the long-term.

The post How to Have Meaningful Relationships in an Increasingly Digital World appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

30 Areas of Life Where Subtracting Can Add More

“When things aren’t adding up in your life, it’s time to start subtracting the things that aren’t helping and that are holding you back.” —Unknown

The path to a richer, more satisfying life isn’t always found in adding more. Often times, the path to a richer life can be found in subtracting—in removing the things that no longer serve us.

Deciding to do and own less is counter-cultural. Especially in a world that constantly encourages us to pursue and acquire more. The decision to remove might even go against our nature.

But the process of removing the distractions that keep us from a better life is a step we must always consider and often take. And this idea applies to numerous areas in life—some may be more applicable during different seasons of course, but it’s wise to consider the option wherever it can be applied.

To get you thinking in that direction, here is a list of areas where applying the principle of subtraction might just be the change you need for a fuller, more focused life:

1. Clothes: A cluttered closet leads to decision fatigue. Reducing your wardrobe to items you love and wear regularly will streamline your morning routine, boost your confidence, and save money.

2. Furniture: Interior designer Francis Jourdain once said, “One can furnish a room very luxuriously by taking out furniture rather than putting it in.” A less cluttered space can bring peace and clarity to your home environment.

3. Decorations: Removing unnecessary decor won’t just enhance the calming nature of your living space, it will make your space more personal and meaningful because it elevates those pieces that most inspire us.

4. Cookware: Too many kitchen gadgets can overwhelm and complicate cooking. So keeping only the essentials can make meal prep more enjoyable and efficient. I stand as proof on this one. Since minimizing the items in my kitchen, I have learned to love cooking much more.

5. Bedding and Linens: Keeping only a few sets of bedding and towels simplifies laundry and storage, making home management easier. In our home, we keep just one set of bed linens for each bed plus one set for company. (Of course, it helps that our kids are older).

6. Beauty/Hygiene Products: Keeping your beauty and hygiene routine simple can save time, money, and reduce waste. Focus on the products you love to use, remove the rest.

7. Paper Clutter: Going digital with bills and documents can reduce paper clutter and make important information easier to manage and access.

8. Unused Apps: Deleting apps you don’t use can declutter your digital space, streamline your usage of it, and remove the temptation of going back to waste time on them.

9. Email Subscriptions: Unsubscribing from marketing emails declutters your inbox and reduces the temptation to spend.

10. To-Do List: Overcommitting dilutes focus, increases stress, and keeps us from doing our best work. Trim your to-do list to essential tasks to improve productivity and well-being.

11. Social Media: There is no need to be on every social media platform. Focus on your favorites. Cutting down on social media platforms can also free up time and reduce information overload.

12. Streaming Services: Limiting your subscriptions can not only save money but also reclaim time that could be spent on living your life—rather than watching others live theirs.

13. News Consumption: Limiting exposure to constant news can reduce anxiety and help maintain focus on your personal life and goals. It might also change everything you currently perceive to be indisputable fact and your opinions of others—especially of people you’ve never met.

14. Impulse Buying: Curbing impulse purchases can save money and prevent clutter from accumulating in your home. Here are 24 simple ways to help.

15. Mindless Snacking: Cutting back on snacking can lead to healthier eating habits and more mindful food consumption. Some of the best advice I ever heard concerning over-snacking was this, “You’re not hungry, you’re thirsty.” The next time you think you need a snack, try drinking a glass of water instead.

16. Over-Checking Emails: Limiting email checks to specific times can increase productivity, reduce stress, and help keep you focused on both the tasks and people right in front of you.

17. Dining Out: Reducing the frequency of dining out can save money and encourage healthier, home-cooked meals. Save money and improve health? Sign me up.

18. Sugar: Reducing sugar intake can lead to better health, more sustainable energy, and improved well-being. Also, sugary products can be quite expensive. Learning to live with less will change your life in more positive ways than you can imagine.

19. Relationships (if toxic): Not every relationship in our life should be focused on what you can get out of it. But letting go of toxic relationships can dramatically improve mental health and happiness.

20. Goals: Focusing on too many goals at once can lead to burnout. Prioritizing a few meaningful goals can lead to more significant achievements and satisfaction.

21. Commitments: Overcommitting spreads you thin and often distracts from life’s joys. If your life is currently overcommitted, subtract a few. Be selective about your commitments to help you live a richer life.

22. House Size: A smaller home can reduce expenses and maintenance, allowing for more freedom and less financial stress.

23. Hobbies: Focusing on a few hobbies that truly bring you joy can be more rewarding than dabbling in many or quickly jumping from one to another just for that next dopamine hit.

24. Kid’s Activities: Overscheduling children can lead to stress for the entire family. Choosing fewer, more meaningful activities can allow for more family time and relaxation. Developing new skills and learning discipline is important for children, of course. But so is downtime and learning to appreciate the warmth and comfort of family.

25. Your Words: Speaking less and listening more can lead to deeper connections and more understanding in relationships.

26. Debt: Reducing debt can alleviate financial stress and lead to a more secure and flexible lifestyle. Here are 101 ways to do that.

27. Habits: Breaking free from negative habits opens up space for positive change. Identify habits that don’t align with your values and work on eliminating them.

28. Negative Self-Talk: Cultivating a positive inner dialogue can boost confidence and mental well-being. Replace negative thoughts and self-talk with positive ones instead.

29. Worry: Harvey Mackay put it this way, “Worrying makes you cross the bridge before you come to it.” And sometimes, you spend time worrying about a bridge that never even appears. Subtracting worry allows you to focus more on the present.

30. Comparisons: Comparison is the thief of joy. Remove it wherever and whenever you can. Focusing on your own journey can increase self-esteem and personal fulfillment.

Minimalism, at its core, is about identifying what is essential and finding the courage to let go of the rest.

And there are countless places where its benefits can be appreciated in our lives. This is a short list of 30 places where subtracting from our lives can make them richer.

If you have others, leave them below as a comment. My hope is to spark new thoughts and ideas about where minimalism can be beneficial.

The post 30 Areas of Life Where Subtracting Can Add More appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Embrace the freedom that comes from less.

Minimalism isn’t just about owning fewer possessions. It’s also about an intentional promotion of our highest values by removing anything that distracts us from them. It’s about finding the freedom to live the life you desire.

As we journey together toward an intentional and minimalist lifestyle, it’s helpful to find inspiration and motivation.

So, make yourself comfortable with a hot cup of coffee or tea this weekend, and take some time to read and reflect on these personally curated articles. I picked each of them to inspire simplicity and intentionality in your life.

10 Important Ways to Stay Minimalist | No Sidebar by Karen Trefzger. Minimalism isn’t just about decluttering – it’s a mindset and way of being that will help you find purpose, contentment, and joy.

7 Things Minimalists Do That Give Them Back More Than 1,000 Hours Of Their Life | Your Tango by John Sundholm. A health and productivity expert recently shared some unlikely ways minimalism can not only benefit your life, but might give you a huge chunk of your time back too.

TikTok Trend is Helping Americans Who Are Trying to Buy Less This Year | 10 News San Diego by Chris Conte. People are starting to realize there are enough materials right in our local communities; we don’t have to go out and buy new.

What if All I Desire is a Simple, Uncluttered Life? | Simple Money by Jennifer Hayes. What if this constant pursuit of material wealth drains more than just our bank accounts? What if it depletes our sense of joy, our peace, and our satisfaction with the simple things in life?

How I Finally Learned to Experience More Happiness and a Better Life With 6 Simple Habits | Inc by Marcel Schwantes. When I got over the hurdles of change, I began to fill my life with more joy, excitement, peace, and possibilities. Now you can too.

Recently Released Inspiring Videos

9 Types of Clothes You Can Declutter Immediately | YouTube by Joshua Becker. Have you ever looked into your closet and felt overwhelmed by the sheer number of items? It’s a common scenario for many, but it doesn’t have to be that way for you.

The Silent Thief of Your Pay Raise: How to Beat Lifestyle Creep | YouTube by Joshua Becker. When looking into how to budget better and save more money, one of the best things we can do is examine our habits and see if we have unwittingly become a victim of lifestyle creep.

The post Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads. appeared first on Becoming Minimalist.

The Joy of Not Wanting Things

The story is told of a man named Arenius who lived in the fifth century. Determined to live a holy life, he abandoned the modern comforts of Egyptian society choosing instead to follow a simple, solemn lifestyle in the desert.

Yet, whenever he visited the great city of Alexandria, he would spend time wandering through its bazaars and markets. When asked why, he explained, “My heart rejoices at the sight of all the things I do not need.”

I first heard that story over ten years ago and have both repeated it and thought about it repeatedly since then.

Consider the meaning and opportunity behind that final sentence: My heart rejoices at the sight of all the things I do not need.

When was the last time you considered the joy of not wanting things?

It is, an amazing way to live!

Just picture the freedom that would come with not wanting to buy stuff and being content with what you have. So much so, that you would find joy in noticing all the things you didn’t want.

Imagine being freed of the desire to keep up with the ever-changing trends, gadgets, and fashions that surround us constantly. That freedom would allow us to spend our money more intentionally. It would allow us to spend our resources on those things we truly value. Imagine the joy we would feel knowing our money is not being wasted on things that don’t matter.

Even more, visualize the joy that would accompany finally redefining the word success in your life. While almost none of us would define success purely in terms of acquiring more and more possessions, we often do in our actions and checkbooks. But reaching the point of truly “not wanting stuff” would change all that. Success could be defined, fully, on our own terms. How amazing would that be?

There is an unmistakable joy found in living an intentional life. The relentless pursuit of “more” can be exhausting. Stepping off that consumer treadmill would do more than liberate us from the pressure to hurry and chase every new fad. It would empower us to make choices each day that align with our deepest selves.

Not wanting things would allow our aspirations to evolve. We would begin dreaming bigger dreams for our lives than physical possessions. We would see our one life as more valuable, with more opportunity. Our ambitions could fully center on creating a positive impact rather than a shopping cart. This would enrich both our lives and the lives of others.

As a result, our lives would feel genuinely fulfilling and purposeful. Doesn’t that sound worthy of rejoicing and celebration?

And, of course, contentment with what we have doesn’t mean stagnation in life. Contentment leads to more and greater ambition.

If that’s not enough, there is even greater joy to found in this. Freeing ourselves from the desire to buy ends the constant comparison with others that so often crushes our soul and joy. And the less we are swayed by comparison to others, the more we are able to appreciate our unique journey, our unique life, and the unique role we are able to play in the world (at least in terms of the things we buy).

There is an unmistakable joy to be found in not wanting to buy and accumulate more things. No wonder, as the old story goes: His heart rejoiced at the sight of all the things he did not need.

Imagine it, picture it, and then go realize it for yourself.

This joy is accessible to all of us. It begins with seeing the emptiness of pursuing things we don’t need, finding a greater purpose for our lives than simply being a consumer, practicing gratitude for what we have, focusing our resources on what truly matters, and then finding satisfaction in those decisions.

And we can all do that today.

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