Joshua Becker's Blog, page 151

To Live a Life You Can Be Proud Of

"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see the things above you." – C.S. Lewis

Almost everyone I know is trying to live their best life possible. It seems we are born with a deep, ingrained sense that we only get one life… and are compelled to make the most of it. We desperately desire to be proud of the life we've lived.

Unfortunately, many of us will seek pride in the wrong places. We will look for pride in power, popularity, and possessions. We will hurt others in an attempt to move up society's ladder. We will sacrifice uniqueness to gain popularity. And we will waste countless hours chasing more and better possessions. But no amount of power, popularity, or possessions will ever satisfy our deepest desires. Those things will always fall short. And there is no sense looking for pride in places that cannot provide it.

One of the greatest benefits of choosing to live a simple, minimalist life is that many of the pursuits above become replaced. And while choosing to intentionally live with less doesn't automatically shift the focus of our lives… it can certainly provide the space that makes it possible.

It just may begin to shift our focus upwards to things that bring us true, lasting pride. Things like:

A Clear Conscience. Living a life consistent with our values.
Character. Choosing to treat others and ourselves with high esteem and respect.
Sincerity. Living with no attempt to deceive those around us.
Wisdom. Not being tossed and turned by the culture of the day, but laying a foundation of certainty from outside our ever-shifting culture.
Love. Embracing a heart that, above everything else, seeks to love others.

Just to be clear, choosing a minimalist life doesn't always result in a clear conscience, unparalleled character, unwavering sincerity, or boundless love. Nor is everyone who seeks those things a minimalist. There are, after all, many paths to the same end.

But I am saying that every so often, we need to slow down long enough to notice the focus of our lives. Afer all, the allure of power, popularity, and possessions can be almost too great to overcome. And intentionally choosing to remove them may be the only way to create the space needed to reject them completely.

You are More than Enough

The following is a guest post by Courtney Carver of Be More with Less .

When I first wrote Living in the Land of Enough as a guest post on this blog, I had no idea it would become a 7-part series on my blog, or translated into Italian, but the more I wrote about The Land of Enough, the more time I wanted to spend there. Today, as the series comes to a close, I thought it would be exciting to share the conclusion on the same blog where it started.

In the very first post about the Land of Enough, I wrote about seven topics. Subsequently, each topic became its own chapter in the series. Here is a quick recap:

Visiting the Land of Enough

Save Your Money. There is no need for credit cards or therapeutic shopping in the land of enough. There are also no overdraft fees or ATM charges. Just put your cards away for 10 days. Then, keep a list of purchases you would have made if you were using your credit card, or if you were shopping for sport, and take note of the money that you didn't spend.
Take Your Time. In the land of enough, you have time to breathe. Stop trying to squeeze so much in. If you are always running late, falling behind, or trying to catch up, try slowing down. Cancel a few unnecessary appointments and don't schedule any new ones if you can help it. Then, make a little time everyday for solitude.
Disconnect. Set a specific time to disconnect each day. In the land of enough, there is less need to be plugged in. If you can, commit to not using a computer after dinner or before lunch time. Be mindful of how much time you spend online and are virtually available. Protect your time and your mind.
Eat Real Food. Only eat food that you prepare. Summertime is the perfect time to eat fresh food – fruits and veggies are often fresh, local, and less expensive than buying them in winter. Do not eat anything from a box, restaurant or drive-thru. While you may choose to eat less by eliminating processed foods, you may find that you naturally eat just enough.
Make Space. Clear out some space in your house. You don't need to take on big purging projects during this time to make space. Simplify one room (or even just the corner of one room) and keep it as clean and clutter free as possible. Even if the rest of your house is cluttered, this area can be a great reminder of how you might feel living with less.
Entertain Yourself. Unplug your TV and plan to enjoy your friends, family, the great outdoors, or a book you have been meaning to read. Do not spend time and money on expensive shows, travel or recreational activities. While the land of plenty calls you to spend more money for entertainment, you already have enough right where you are.
Say Thank You. As you go through these steps, you will find enough time and space to be grateful. Through prayer, thank you cards, or a kind gesture, share your gratitude every day.

I love the Land of Enough, but the challenging part for me is being there, and attending to my everyday life at the same time. Some of you commented that living this way all the time is not realistic, and I agree.

If you think that living this life is appealing, but impractical on a daily basis, don't give up all together. Instead, set aside one day a week, or month to live according to the recommendations above. Choose your favorite ideas and make them part of your life.

When you begin to spend even a few minutes a day in the Land of Enough, you will quickly realize that the experience starts in your heart and begins to change it. But even before you start to make changes, know that you are enough. Sometimes we think we have so far to go to get to where we want to be, that we don't even try. We think we don't deserve better because of our current situation. Regardless of your current habits or circumstances, you are enough. You've always been enough.

There is one thing about The Land of Enough that I forgot to tell you. Because everyone there is living more authentically and simply, and because they don't live under a burden of constant stress, they are loving. Simply put, it is easier to love more deeply when you realize you have enough… that you are enough.

The transition from regular life to the Land of Enough takes time. Instead of trying to incorporate all of the changes at once, slowly and deliberately transition the best parts to your life.

What is one change you would like to adopt from the Land of Enough?

***

Read the entire Land of Enough series or visit Courtney's blog. She writes about simplifying and living life on purpose at Be More with Less. You can also follow her on Twitter.

8 Tweeters that Encourage Simplicity

Hey look, I get it. On some levels, Twitter is the exact opposite of simplicity. Its offering of non-stop information often clutters the mind with distraction and nonsense. It allows voices to speak into our lives that we know little about other than the image they have created online. It adds more media. And by its very definition forces us to rely on another shining rectangle for stimulation.

On the other hand, it can be a valuable tool in encouraging simplicity. In a world that constantly bombards us with messages of "more is better" and "new and improved," it can be helpful to draw motivation from like-minded individuals who are seeking a life of minimalism and simplicity. The micro-blogging platform forces thoughts to be condensed into a weighty 140 characters. And the encouragement can be available at a moment's notice.

With that in mind, here are eight tweeters that continue to encourage simplicity in my life.

The following tweeters (in alphabetical order) were selected because their tweets are unique, profound, thought-provoking, and call us to consider the invisible things of life. In addition, their tweets tend to be more minimal and less self-promoting than others. And while this post is not a blanket approval for every message they send out, they will encourage you to embrace simplicity in your life.

Leo Babauta. (@zen_habits)

Saying "Less is more" tarnishes the good name of less. src
A long walk through the rain is cleansing calming lovely & sweet. src
Letting go of something is so much more beautiful than possessing it. src


Dave Bruno. ().

What are you going to do to make your life significant? (Hint: Answer isn't to buy stuff.)
When we shop our way into a mess we can't expect to clean things by consuming. Rethink economic recovery.
A healthy economy should make every person feel more like a neighbor than a consumer.


Dalai Lama. (@DalaiLama)

We cannot overcome anger and hatred simply by suppressing them. We need to actively cultivate the antidotes: patience and tolerance. src
If you make your best effort to be kinder, nurture compassion, make the world a better place, then you can say 'At least I've done my best'. src
We must insist on the observation that my right to happiness carries no more weight than others' similar right. src


Debbie Ford. (@Debbie_Ford)

We have the capacity to leave this world a better place than we found it. src
We are each born with an innate desire to contribute to & be a part of something greater than ourselves. src
Compassion gifts us with patience, spaciousness, acceptance, tolerance, and love. src


Stephen Mills. (@RatRaceTrap)

"The true way to gain much is never to desire too gain much." — Francis Beaumont. src
"We are drowning in information but starved for knowledge." — Richard Yates. src
"There is more to life than increasing its speed." — Gandhi. src


The Mindfulist HQ. (@themindfulist)

Try a week of paying for everything in cash. Note how it changes the experience and feeling of shopping. src
Asking for help is a sign of strength. Don't fear it. src
Money is not happiness. We all know this intellectually, but our actions show that we conflate the two. Walk the talk! src


Naomi Seldin. (@SimplerLiving)

The cover of Oprah's latest issue says if I buy it, I can have my ideal body. So now her magazine comes with a free time machine? Awesome. src.


One of my favorite quotes from a reader: "Simplifying is not only about purging and shedding." src
One of the easiest ways to keep clutter out of your house is not to let it in the front door. src


Tiny Buddha. (@tinybuddha)

"The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be." ~Socrates. src
"Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk." ~Doug Larson. src
"The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live." ~Flora Whittemore. src

The world of Twitter is nearly infinite. For that reason, I chose to focus on only 8 that encourage simplicity. There are surely more that encourage you. And I'd love to hear about them. If you would kindly post them below in the comment section along with the reason why you included them.

Everybody Worships Something (Conscious Freedom: Part One)

The following is a guest post from Joshua Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus of The Minimalists .

"In a world where high-tech and high-pace too often replace self-reflection and mindful evaluation, it is our privilege to kick off a three-part series on consciousness, freedom, and the value of the totally obvious. "Conscious Freedom" was written to call us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. In total, it contains three parts on three unique blogs… and we think you are going to enjoy it." – Joshua

Note: This is the first essay in a three part series called CONSCIOUS FREEDOM written by Joshua Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus from The Minimalists, featured on Becoming Minimalist (part one), Exile Lifestyle (part two), and Castles In The Air (part three). Scroll to the bottom to find links to the rest of the series.

"In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of God or spiritual-type thing is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never feel you have enough. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, you will end up feeling like a fraud, always on the verge of being found out." —David Foster Wallace, 2005, This Is Water

This is Not a Sermon.

If you are worried that this is some sort of preachy, didactic sermon about why you should worship God or why you shouldn't or what you should worship at all, don't be. Whatever you believe spiritually, we have nothing to offer you with respect to spiritual guidance.

Rather, this essay is about our unconscious obsession with things. And not just physical things, but our overwhelming obsession with all of life's misguided devotions. This essay is about how to deal with that unconscious obsession.

What's Important In Your Life?

What is important to you? Do you know? Have you made an important things list for your life? If you did, it would probably include things like:

Family
Friends
Relationships
Personal health
Contributing to others in meaningful ways
Personal growth
Personal goals
Spirituality
Et cetera

These are the things that are usually most important to people. But if we were to walk around your home, would we be able to tell what's important to you? Would the things in your home coincide with your important things list?

If you are like we were before our journey into minimalism, then the answer is undoubtably no. Not even close. If you were to visit either of our homes back then, you would have thought our important things list contained things like DVDs and neckties and consumer electronics and shoes and hall closets stuffed with coats and junk drawers brimming with junk.

Sure we had pictures of family members strewn throughout our places, and we even had some seldom used exercise equipment that was supposed to aid us in our physical health. So, yes, the important things were there, but they were hard to notice because they were hidden amongst the clutter, camouflaged by superfluous excess.

It's not that that excess stuff is immoral or evil, nor is our love for those things. The insidious thing about our love for things is that it's unconscious. We often worship the things in our life without knowing that we worship them at all. We place value and meaning in things, things that don't mean anything to us really. And over time this worship—this misplaced value—can be pernicious and ultimately self-destructive.

Say It Out Loud

One thing that helps us these days is to say something out loud. There is an unavoidable ridiculousness factor to certain incongruent statements when we say them out loud. Go on, give it a try. Let's start with the easy ones, the ones that won't sound ridiculous. Let's start with the important things in your life. Say these things out loud. Heck, shout them if you feel like it:

My family is incredibly important to me.
It is immensely important for me to contribute to other people in a meaningful way.
I don't know where I would be without my close friends, they are so important to me.
It is extremely important for me to live a healthy life.
It is important for me to [blank]…

Did you say them out loud? Really? See, none of those things sound ridiculous. That's because they are congruent with your beliefs, they coincide with the tone, passion, and conviction of the statements themselves.

But try these on for size. Try to say these things out loud with the same conviction and passion and feel the difference. Come on, no one's looking:

This T-shirt is incredibly important to me.
It is immensely important for me to go to the mall and shop today.
I don't know where I would be without my khaki pants, they are so important to me.
It is extremely important for me to eat that extra piece of pie.

You get the point. Ridiculous, right? They are ridiculous even though they are the same sentences structurally. You just replaced a few words when you said them out loud.

Again, none of these things are wrong or evil. It's OK to wear khakis and to eat pie and to have material possessions. But of course we all know that none of these things are really important to us either. We know that they have no real meaning in our lives. And yet we often act as if the stuff in our lives is just as important—or worse, more important —than the things that actually matter to us, things like our relationships, our health, our freedom.

Intellect vs. Emotion

You know these things already though. We aren't telling you anything new. You know that your blue jeans are not more important than your family, that your car is not more important than your health, that your designer cosmetics are not more important than contributing to other people who need your help. You know these things.

The problem is that you know these things intellectually but not emotionally. In other words, you don't feel it in your gut. Instead your emotional connection is often with the stuff in your life. You feel this connection to material items deep down, in your gut, and you don't even have to think about it intellectually.

And it's easy to do this, it's easy to feel connected to your possessions. You never have to worry if your things will love you back, you never have to worry about them dying or losing interest in you or leaving you for someone else. And it feels good because there are not immediate consequences for loving stuff, there's even a cheap sort of instant gratification in doing so.

The events of our lives have conditioned us to feel this way, and thus we are hardwired to feel an emotional connection to stuff. Unfortunately, this is our default setting. There are many reasons we have this kind of hardwired default setting, some of which are inherently cultural, some of which have to do with inimically slick marketing, some of which have to do with our own belief templates that we've been molding ever since we've had the ability to piece together a solitary thought.

The reasons are irrelevant though.

Adjusting Your Default Setting

What is relevant is that it's not your fault. Or at least it's not your fault that your default setting is one in which you have an emotional connection to stuff. Just like it's not your fault that you speak whatever language you speak as your first language. Sure, you learned the language over time, and, sure, you could choose to never speak another word of your native tongue, but you were raised to speak that language, and thus you will always have a connection to it, it will always be your default language. Similarly, your connection to stuff is your default connection, it's your default setting, but that doesn't mean that you should be ashamed by it, just aware of it.

And so it may not be your fault, but it is your responsibility to adjust your default setting to one with real meaning, to become "well adjusted," which—as Wallace suggests in his above quoted essay—is not a coincidental term.

People who are "well adjusted" have a belief template in which their intellectual beliefs coincide with their emotional beliefs. And a vast majority of the time this kind of self- adjustment is not accidental. It is utterly intentional. Aligning our intellectual and emotional beliefs is a conscious choice, and it is not an easy choice. It is also not a choice that we make one time and then our personal beliefs are aligned forever.

It's like exercising. We don't go to the gym one day, workout really hard for a few hours, and then expect to be in great shape for the rest of our lives. It doesn't work that way. Sometimes it's incredibly difficult. Sometimes we feel like we can't do it. And sometimes after a long hard day we just don't want to do it at all.

Similarly, sometimes it feels easier to let our emotions take control of our beliefs. It's easy to whip out our American Express cards and buy that $200 dress at the mall. It's easy to pacify our kids with a Happy Meal. It's easy to set on the back-burner what's important to us, to put it off until tomorrow. But if we do this too often, if we continue to put off everything until tomorrow, tomorrow never comes.

And we do it even now, even after embracing a lifestyle of simplicity and minimalism and freedom of choice, we still do it. We fall back to our default setting. The key is to catch ourselves when we fall, to be conscious of our decisions and make quick adjustments to avoid our default setting. The key is to live a conscious life, one that is full of real meaning and happiness and fulfillment and freedom.

We wish you the best in your life. It's not always easy, but you deserve to live a conscious life, a life focused on what's important. After all, you only live one life.

***

Joshua Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus created theminimalists.com where they documented their journey into minimalism and they donate their time to help other people become minimalists. You can also follow them on Twitter or Facebook.

***

The Conscious Freedom Blog Series

Part 1: Everybody Worships Something (featured on Becoming Minimalist)
Part 2: I Am Not the Center of the Universe (featured on Exile Lifestyle) will be available tomorrow.
Part 3: Awareness: The Most Precious Kind of Freedom (featured on Castles In The Air) will be available on Thursday.

Some of the concepts in this essay are based on David Foster Wallace's 2005 Essay, This Is Water (quoted above).

An Open Letter to Republicans and Democrats

This is not a blog about politics. This is a blog about owning less and living more.

But, like every American, I have been struck by the tragedy of the Tucson Massacre last weekend. Innocent people died that day… good people died that day… a 9-year old girl died that day.

And while the jury is still out on the exact motivation of the killer, one thing became clear during last night's Memorial Service in Tucson: the United States of America must once again become united. We are one nation. We are one people. We are one piece in the only world we've got. And while we need not agree on all points of politics, we must make every effort to pursue unity.

We need humility. Our specific political party does not hold all of the answers. During my short lifetime, on numerous occasions, both political parties have held significant majorities in government. But our problems still exist. It is clear that no one, single political party holds all the answers. In other words, we need each other.
We need patience. Our problems did not start overnight. And they will not be solved overnight.
We need appreciation. Republicans love and serve America. Democrats love and serve America. The sooner we appreciate that fact (and our differences), the sooner we can work together towards a common goal.
We need to stop assuming intentions. Our nation faces problems – it always has and always will. And good people will always differ on the best solution. But making sweeping assumptions about an opposing viewpoints' intentions will never move the debate forward. It is the easiest way to discount any valid, opposing argument. It is also one of the most damaging. In fact, in my opinion, it is one of the primary reasons that civility has completely vanished from our political discourse.
We need maturity. We can not afford any longer to be tossed back and forth by men or women who profit from sharp, stinging, political discourse. Debating politics in the public arena is good and to be encouraged. But dividing the country for the sake of profit is not.
We need wholesome talk. Remove falsehood, rumors, and gossip. Instead, our words need to benefit anyone who will listen and build up everyone who hears them.
We need less bitterness, rage, anger, and slander. These attitudes and actions always escalate and only produce more of themselves. They have never resulted in solutions… and they never will.
We need more kindness, forgiveness, and compassion. Towards each other – in our daily lives and in our politics.

I'm not naive enough to think that the simple application of "patience," "appreciation," or "wholesome talk" will solve our world's complicated problems. But I do think they hold the key to uniting this country once again… or at least, enough to prevent the senseless death of good, innocent people.

And that's one thing all of us can agree on.

The Hidden Power of Humility

"We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility."- Rabindranath Tagore

Humility is a funny thing. In fact, my grandfather used to tell us that he won a medal for his humility, but it was taken away when he began to wear it.

Humility is the act of being modest, reverential, even politely submissive. It is the opposite of aggression, arrogance, pride, and vanity. And on the surface, it appears to empty its holder of all power.

But on the contrary, it grants enormous power to its owner.

Humility offers its owner complete freedom from the desire to impress, be right, or get ahead. Frustrations and losses have less impact on a humble ego and a humble person confidently receives opportunity to grow, improve, and reject society's labels. A humble life results in contentment, patience, forgiveness, and compassion.

Humility understands individual limitations. Humans, by definition, are finite and thus, limited in our understanding. Our talents are different, our minds are different, and our experiences vary from one another. Individually, we comprehend only a small, unique fraction of the world. But together, we arrive at a far-grander view of the Universe. Humble people realize their understanding is limited and embrace it. As a result, they wisely look for answers outside of themselves.
Humility appreciates others. All human life carries inherent value. Our souls hold no more value or importance than the person sitting next to us, no matter where we may be sitting. A humble person appreciates the fact that the world does not revolve around him or her. And accepts their position as just a tiny piece in the giant puzzle.
Humility respects others and their opinions. Just because an opinion is different doesn't mean it is wrong. Please don't misunderstand me, the opposing opinion may be wrong (there are countless either/or arguments where both sides can't be right). I'm only saying that it is not wrong just because it is different… and that is a far better place to begin the dialogue.
Humility listens more. And speaks less. It spends more time understanding… and less time being understood.
Humility withholds judgments over intentions as much as possible. The quickest way to win an argument in your mind is to make sweeping judgements concerning the intentions of others. It is the easiest way to discount any valid, opposing argument. It is also one of the most damaging. In fact, in my opinion, it is one of the primary reasons that humility has completely vanished from our political discourse.
Humility helps others and promotes others. Joy is not found in being right and arriving at the top. Instead, joy is found in helping others grow and succeed. Humility realizes that in those cases, both win.

Humility always begins in our heart. As a result, it offers significant control over attitude, outlook, and actions. It has nothing to prove, but everything to offer.

18 Good Reasons to Get the TV Out of Your Bedroom

Before we made the decision to intentionally live with less, we were just a typical family of four living in the suburbs. But since finding a rational approach to minimalism, our lives have changed in countless ways – some big, some small.

One change that seemed small at the time actually had a profound impact on the quality of our lives, marriage, and family. We removed the television from our bedroom. At first, it was just a 30-day experiment. But given the overwhelming benefits that accompanied its removal, it is a change we look back on with great fondness.

Think of the benefits…

More/Better sleep. The same statistics that tell us Americans watch over 35 hours of television/week are the same statistics that make it clear the lure of the screen is just too strong to turn off. No one sets out to spend 5 hours/day watching television. The temptation is too great… especially when we are tired. Not only does television in the bedroom keep us up later at night, but there are also studies that indicate watching television before bed actually disrupts sleep cycles. Removing the television from your bedroom results in more sleep and better sleep… which means you'll have a better rested, more productive day.
What you think about last matters. The evening provides valuable opportunity to meditate, evaluate, and assess your day. This examination leads to learning from our mistakes and growing as humans. Unfortunately, many people will sacrifice this opportunity for the sake of entertainment.
What you think about first matters. Every morning begins with a clean slate and brand new opportunities. Allowing your television to guide your morning thoughts takes that blank canvas and begins painting. We would be wise to choose carefully who/what directs our morning thoughts rather than blindly allowing television producers to do it for us. After all, it sets the stage for the rest of the day.
Example for your kids. Children with televisions in their bedrooms score lower on school tests and are more likely to have sleep problems. Also, having a television in the bedroom is strongly associated with being overweight and a higher risk for smoking. And that's a pretty strong argument to remove theirs and yours.
More conversation. As a married couple, some of your most important, intimate conversations will take place in your bedroom during the waning hours of the day… unless of course, the television is on instead.
More/Better sex. Couples who keep a TV in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who don't. Probably because there are over a million things more stimulating than a man watching ESPN SportsCenter. And if you ask me, that should be reason enough…
Less clutter. Your television takes up space (even when hidden). And I haven't met anybody who actually enjoys more clutter in their homes.
Less advertisements at your weakest. Studies reveal what we already know to be true: Consumers are more susceptible to advertisements when they are tired. Depletion leads us to feel as if we've been more thorough and thoughtful in our processing and therefore, we become more certain in our attitudes.
Realistic expectations on your marriage. In almost all regards, television rarely depicts the world and life accurately. As a result, too much television results in disillusionment about what to expect from the world around us. This can be most detrimental to our relationships when the unrealistic expectations are applied to our marriage, family, love, romance, and sexuality.
Rooms serve purposes. Kitchens are for cooking… Dining Rooms are for eating… Toy Rooms are for playing… Offices are for working… Rooms serve purposes. The better we define those rooms and their purposes, the more productive they become. Use your bedroom only for sleep and sex by taking work materials, computers, and televisions out of the sleeping environment.
Televisions attract dust. All electronics attract and trap dust… something about static electricity. While I don't understand the physics, I see the result. And isn't there enough dust already in your bedroom… why would you want to attract more?
Get ready faster. Having the television on while getting ready in the morning adds extra time to the process. And who wants to spend more time getting ready?
More reading. Light reading in the evening helps many fall asleep faster. But even if it doesn't help you sleep, the benefits of reading still far outweigh the benefits of television. Removing the television from your bedroom will almost always encourage more reading in your life.
Going to sleep together. While some couples have successfully navigated the television schedule and actually go to sleep together (We watch the King of Queens every night and then fall asleep), we never could. Perhaps we're less disciplined… but more likely, she liked watching TLC far more than I did. Removing the television helps foster intimacy by not just going to bed at the same time, but by falling asleep at the same time as well.
Less electricity/energy use. Household electronics continue to use energy and electricity even when powered off. It's called standby-power and it amounts to 5-10% of your total electricity bill. One less television means one less financial drain on your checkbook.
Your attention is far too valuable. There are very important people in your life who need your attention every single day. Removing the television from your bedroom will help you give it to the people who need it the most.
Masking problems in your marriage. When two imperfect people come together to form an intimate union that shares everything, there are bound to be some problems along the way. Successful couples notice them, discuss them, and find compromise that makes both sides better. Unsuccessful couples don't. Our marriages require us to be intentional and thoughtful. And that rarely happens when the television is on.
Watch less television. Inherent in each of these reasons above is the reality that removing the television from your bedroom means that you will watch less television. And there are all sorts of good reasons for that: 11 Reasons to Ditch Your Television, 10 Reasons to Watch Less Television, 4 Simple Reasons to Sell Your TV.

If words on a page aren't quite enough for you or your partner, commit to try it out as a 30 day experimentation. Unplugging the television and moving it into a different room will take less than 3 minutes. There is an end in sight. You've got nothing to lose. And maybe, just maybe, a whole lot to gain.

Again, I'm not saying you have to remove the television from your bedroom… I'm just saying your life will be better if you do.

Becoming Minimalist: A Life-Changing Year of Evolution

If you don't mind, I'm going to take some time and personally reminisce about the past year at Becoming Minimalist. It's been a crazy, life-changing ride that I never expected. For a variety of reasons, I have kept no official record of statistical growth. But here is what I know…

On January 1, Becoming Minimalist had less than 500 subscribed readers. Today, it has 7,500.
On January 1, Becoming Minimalist had 0 Facebook fans. Today, it has well over 1,000.
On January 1, Becoming Minimalist had 0 Twitter followers. Today, it has almost 2,000.
On January 1, Becoming Minimalist averaged less than 25,000 views/month. Today, it receives 400,000 views/month.

In addition to the statistical growth, Becoming Minimalist has had opportunity to inspire others through various interviews, media reports, and speaking engagements. It has helped introduce its readers to new writers in the minimalist movement. And has begun to define my life in ways I never dreamt including new relationships, influence, and opportunities. It has been a crazy, life-changing ride, indeed.

With that as an introduction, looking back, the following posts best retell this blog's evolution…

January 06 – belts! why didn't I think of that? – To get a quick sense of how much this blog has evolved in the past year, check out what I was writing about at the beginning of the year. It was generally a me-focused blog documenting my journey towards minimalism with short 2-3 sentence posts.

January 03 - becoming minimalist on facebook – I wish I could tell you why we started a Facebook Fan page on January 3rd, but to be honest, I don't remember. I know it wasn't because we were strategic about social media (we didn't join Twitter until late-February). More than likely, it just sounded like a fun thing to do and we didn't have anything else to post that day.

January 13 – top 15 – I can remember where I was sitting when I logged-in to the blog on Wednesday, January 13 and noticed a surprising jump in blog views. One more click revealed that Charley Forness had named Becoming Minimalist as one of the Top 15 Simplicity/Minimalist Bloggers to Watch in 2010.  If you'd like to get an idea of how I live my life… my next movement was to run upstairs to my wife and say, "You'll never guess what just happened." And promptly show her the post that was driving the traffic. At some point, I certainly said, "Kim, can you believe it? Who is this guy? And how did he find my blog?" It was that post that introduced to me the idea that Becoming Minimalist was becoming something far bigger than I ever dreamed.

February 02 – the art of being minimalist by everett bogue – I don't exactly recall how I stumbled on the release of Everett's e-book… as I rarely read any other minimalist bloggers those days. But when I did, things changed forever. When I found The Art of Being Minimalist, I noticed that Everett was offering an affiliate commission to anyone who referred a sale to his site. Without even reading it (as I mention in the post), I immediately thought the book would be perfect for my small number of readers and I was intrigued to see what would happen if I directed people towards it. I was shocked to sell 18 books that weekend and earn $90. It was the first real income to be generated from this site. And in response, my immediate thought was, "Oh, I get it now. If you offer affiliate income opportunities, other bloggers will support your work because your success means their success. And who is this Everett-guy anyway? I've got enough material over the years to write a helpful e-book." And the process began immediately to outline my existing blog content into a readable structure for an e-book.

February 22 – Our E-book: Simplify. Now Available. – Our e-book, Simplify was released on Monday, February 22nd to great reviews and fanfare (of the 60 advance copies sent out, only 1 review came back negative). It was called, "a simple, straight-forward guide to simplifying your life… encouraging and practical… inspirational… a must-read" and that it "demystifies going minimal and makes it accessible to a whole new audience… redefines minimalism." I was blown away by its reviews and continue to be surprised at its success. To date, it has sold over 1,000 copies and continues to sell every single day.

February 27 – on twitter – I had learned the power and influence of Twitter over the previous three weeks as I had seen traffic arrive at Becoming Minimalist from various tweets promoting the book and Everett's. On February 27, I decided to join under the name, joshua_becker.

March 01 – When You're a Minimalist, But Your Partner Isn't – What may seem as just another blog post to most of you, holds special meaning in my heart. Although I didn't know it at the time, this is the post that changed Becoming Minimalist from a blog about our journey to a blog about your journey. It broke our previous mold of "today we are cleaning out belts" and ushered in a new mold of inspiration through "here are some lessons we have learned that you may find valuable." It was actually the comments on this post (thank you for this timely message…this is very helpful…this post really hits home) that changed the way I viewed blogging. I think the exact thought was, "Wait a minute. You mean this blog has the opportunity to actually help people around the world find a better life than hopelessly pursuing possessions? I'm in!" And over the next 2-3 weeks, our new writing voice was developed (and continues to be developed even today).

March 08 – The Unmistakable Freedom of Contentment and How to Achieve It – Again, a post that means far more to me than it means to you. When we decided to tackle the heart issue of contentment, it was the first time we moved from the physical (live with less belts) to the internal, soul issues of minimalism. Living a minimalist life became an inward journey for me… one that was going to require me to wrestle with topics such as contentment, generosity, forgiveness, and the love of money. This journey would begin to define this blog and separate it from the other minimalist blogs in the niche.

March 10 – the lost practice of resting one day each week – When Leo Babauta asked me to contribute a post to his site, Zen Habits, I was simultaneously shocked, humbled, and scared to death. I had a post rolling around in the back of my head for quite some time on the topic of finding rest, but could never see how it fit into the narrow niche of this blog. I offered him the post idea and he gladly agreed to use it. I spent weeks refining it and editing it. And was blown away by the positive response when he posted it on March 10.

March 26 - 10 Things Children Need That Money Can't Buy – Another defining feature of Becoming Minimalist is the approach that it takes towards family – whether that be marriage or parenthood. On March 26, for the first time, I began to speak freely about my philosophy of parenthood. And yet again, Becoming Minimalist was further defined.

April 12 – I began using capital letters officially in all posts.

April 16 - Substance Over Stuff Tumblr – As my understanding of the web began to develop, so did my appreciation for its wealth and variety of information. Substance Over Stuff was born as a place to share valuable articles, quotes, and photos that I ran across during research.

April 23 – How to be a Successful Blogger and KEEP Your Day Job - Following the success of the first e-book and the unexpected growth of this blog because of it, I was forced to spend some time evaluating my life and determining what I wanted it to become. For my full-time job, I oversee the spiritual development of middle-school and high-school students. It is a job that I love and offers my life far more value than a paycheck. It is something that I feel called to do by a power greater than myself… and have determined that I have no desire to trade it for anything else. This post furthered cemented that truth in my mind.

April 28 – How to Keep the Minimalist Movement Attractive to the Masses. – I never set out to become a voice in the minimalist movement, but when a small debate broke out online among some minimalist bloggers over the 100-Thing Challenge, I felt inclined to lend my voice. It was the first time I wrote a post aimed towards minimalists specifically. I don't do it very often. To be honest, my preference is to invite those outside the movement to embrace it rather than further discuss the nuance of the practice itself. This post helped me further define what the goal and purpose of Becoming Minimalist was going to be.

May 12 – How to Go Car-Lite – On May 12, Tammy Strobel of Rowdy Kittens wrote the first guest post in the history of Becoming Minimalist. Since then, this blog has become a place where many new and fresh minimalist bloggers have had the opportunity to introduce themselves to a larger audience. It will continue to serve that purpose in the future.

July 23 – Becoming Minimalist 3.0 – Three days before the launch of our second book, Becoming Minimalist received a new look with logo design by Josh Davis and theme by Thesis. I continue to love its clean, modern look.

July 26 - Inside-Out Simplicity – From the Red Rooster Coffee House in Aberdeen, SD, our second e-book was launched. In many ways, it was the book that I always wanted to write. The book goes well beyond the external fixes to our complicated lives and focuses on the heart issues required for a simplified life. It is based on the premise that a truly simplified lifestyle begins in a person's soul. It helps the reader find an inside-out simplicity by focusing on the key life-changing principles necessary in their most important relationships. It is a weighty book that dares to tackle some very controversial topics including sexuality and spirituality. And if you already agree with everything in it, I have not done my job.

September 13 – Becoming Minimalist: Where I'm Speaking and What I'm Saying – When I received three speaking invitations during the summer months of 2010, I was again blown away. The blog had truly become a platform for opportunities I never dreamt possible. And each time, the opportunity to inspire and reach those outside the movement continues to grow. Already at this point, there are three engagements set-up for 2011 at various venues across the country.

November 26 – 35 Gifts Your Children Will Never Forget – The post that has quickly become our most popular post of all-time was written as a response to Black Friday. In fact, the idea for the post only came the night before it was published. As Thanksgiving day was coming to a close and I reflected on my old life of waking up early on Black Friday to get the best deals of the year, I wondered what to do in response. I decided to wake up early as always, but not to shop. Instead, I woke up early hoping to inspire others to find greater value in life than the things on sale at Best Buy. And a post with 200 tweets and 2,500+ Facebook likes was written. It has received links from all over the web (including Get Rich Slowly and the Simple Dollar). Thanks everybody who contributed to its success.

Whether you were one of the few readers of Becoming Minimalist on January 1, 2010 or are one of the 300,000+ who found us in 2010, welcome and thank you. As this blog goes forward into 2011, it will certainly continue to evolve and be redefined. However, it will always stay true to its core message that there is more joy to be found in owning less than can be found in pursuing more. We are just as excited as you to see what lies ahead.

Book Review: The 100 Thing Challenge by Dave Bruno

"That is the message of American-style consumerism. My human life is not enough. There are purchases upon purchases that will transform me into something more than what I am." – Dave Bruno

I have always thought that I have a lot in common with . We both live in suburban America. We both have supportive wives and children that we raise with love. We both work full-time jobs that we enjoy and write as a hobby on the side. We are both fed up with American-style consumerism. And we both enjoy inspiring others to reject it.

However, we have one big difference: Dave sold all but 100 of his possessions and chose to live that way for one full year. From November 12, 2008 through November 12, 2009, Dave set out to accomplish a self-imposed 100-Thing Challenge… and lived to write the book.

The 100 Thing Challenge (Harper-Collins) is the story of one man's quest to free himself from the restraints of American-style consumption and the lessons he learned about himself, his family, and our culture along the way. I have been enamored with Dave's 100-Thing Challenge for quite some time. Needless to say, when the book arrived in my mailbox, I couldn't wait to jump right in. And thoroughly enjoyed reading Dave's story from beginning to end.

Dave recounts the birth of the Challenge, his preparation for the Challenge, the year of the Challenge, and the aftermath following its official conclusion over one year ago (hint: he still owns less than 100 possessions). The book reads as a chronological account of his life starting in July, 2007 when the Challenge was born and ending in mid-2010 just prior to the final publication of the book.

Throughout his telling of the story, Dave flashes back in detail to specific memories throughout his life that highlight the lessons he is learning.

For example, the selling of his model train set resurfaces memories of his father, unmet dreams, and the realization that many of our purchases in the present are unintentionally meant to change the past of our imperfect lives. Or as he writes, "When we shop we sometimes act as if we are time-traveling general contractors. We buy components we think we'll use to zip back to that dreadful moment in the past to patch things together. Make it all right. But the ruins in our lives don't get fixed. They get grieved for, or else they get messier.

Likewise, the story of his daughters' love for American Girl dolls, the selling of his word-working tools, and the decision to use one single Bic pen throughout the year serve as launching pads for vivid, emotional, detailed memories. The first several times these detailed memories (or parenthetical insertions) surfaced in the reading, I found myself wondering why he was describing them in such detail. But given the fact that each account was effortlessly weaved back into his 100-Thing Challenge, by the end of the book, I found myself anxiously awaiting the next memory.

Overall, Dave presents an engaging, emotional, and compelling argument against American-style consumerism. It does not make blanket statements rejecting the role of possessions in our life. Instead, it presents a thought-provoking, rational examination of their place in our lives mentioning both the positives and the negatives.

If you have been questioning the role of American-style consumerism in your life in anyway, you will enjoy reading The 100 Thing Challenge. I know I did.

This Christmas, Give Peace

I am often struck by the imagery and themes of Christmas. Among them, rings peace and reconciliation.

According to the Biblical account of Christmas, the first announcement of the baby's birth was made by angels to shepherds outside of Bethlehem. And it went like this…

"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

The Christmas season is to be a celebration of peace, goodwill, and reconciliation. Yet, for many families, thoughts of peace rarely accompany the holiday season. Instead, the exact opposite is all too common. Years of bitterness, resentment, and depression have been piled on top of misconceptions, misunderstandings, and misbehavior. And family peace was lost years ago… and is yet to be reclaimed.

Family relationships can cause conflict, turmoil, and stress at any time, but the tensions are often heightened during the holidays – that is what makes the Christmas season so difficult for many. Family misunderstandings and conflicts naturally intensify when you are thrown together for several days… or if you are separated because of them. It is time to get over our differences. And instead, to offer goodwill and reclaim peace in our family relationships.

This Christmas, give the gift of overdue peace.

1. Determine to be responsible for your attitude, not other's. True, you can't control the attitude of others, but you are the only one responsible for yours. Take an active stand against the attitudes of bitterness and rejection in your family. Because if we know anything about resentment, we know that it will swallow everyone in its path until someone takes a stand against it.

2. Embrace humility. Long-running family strife is rarely caused by one individual. It may have started with an inappropriate word, misdeed, or misunderstanding, but its unresolution is the fault of many. Embrace humility and forgiveness even if you are not the author of the conflict. If you are harboring resentment towards another human being because of past hurts, choose to forgive and move on. The harm was their fault. But allowing it to weigh down your life today is yours.

3. Accept disagreement and put it behind you. It is foolish and prideful to assume that everyone is going to agree with you. Whether your family disagreements center on worldview, religion, parenting styles, or sports' teams, your ability to love others despite them is central to interpersonal relationships. Healthy families don't reject their members who think differently – they become stronger because of them. This Christmas, seek to listen and hear rather than judge and lecture.

4. Take the first step. Make the bold decision to be the first in your family to offer peace and reconciliation. This step is often as simple as a phone call. Try this for a lead-in, "Hey, I'm just calling to wish you a Merry Christmas. I know we've had disagreements in the past, but I just want you to know that I love you very much and I hope we can put them behind us…" And while one phone call may not heal years of deep personal pain and rejection, it is often the first step that never gets taken.

This post will be read nearly 20,000 times in these coming days leading up to Christmas. And while it's unreasonable to assume that that many families will find peace because of it, it is reasonable to assume that maybe one family, somewhere, will be brought together and find peace again because of it – and that thought alone makes it worth it.

After all, maybe (just maybe), it will be your family… or maybe even mine.