Joshua Becker's Blog, page 134

Not More, Better

“Life is not a matter of chance… it is a matter of choice.” ― Ka

24 hours. Every day we get them. And every day we use them. Sometimes we use them wisely: creating, exercising, resting, cooking, eating. Other times, the hours are wasted: mindless Internet surfing, watching too much television, worrying, or oversleeping. But every single day, the hours are always used. This is the very nature of time. There is not “more” use of time, only “better.”

This is also the very nature of money. Our finances are always used somewhere. They may be directed towards the house payment, the grocery bill, the student loan, the savings account, or others, but our money is always spent somewhere. There is not “more” use of money, only “better.”

I have found the principle of “not more, but better” holds true for many of our most important resources: money, time, energy, focus, mental capacity, relationships. Understanding this truth and embracing it becomes an important principle in living a thoughtful and intentional life. Life is, after all, the sum of our choices. And often times, the choice isn’t more, but better.

Recognizing that positive change is not a matter of choosing more, but choosing better is a powerful motivator. There is freedom to be found in it. It can be a freeing and inspiring shift in our thinking. Consider these practical examples:

Time

I used to think I didn’t have enough time to exercise. But when I made an intentional commitment to begin exercising regularly, the use of my time began to change. There were not extra hours in the day, only a change in how I used them. As a result, I began to spend less time watching television. Exercise was not a use of more time, it was a better use of my existing time.

Money

Similarly with money, I used to think there was never enough. But as we began our journey towards minimalism, we soon discovered we had more money available than ever before. Not because we were making more, but because we were spending less at the shopping mall. Suddenly, we were able to redirect more finances towards saving, giving, and creating memorable experiences for our family. We did not spend more of our money, we spent it better.

Food

As positive changes began taking place in my home and life, I felt drawn to eat better. As a result, I began learning how to cook and enjoy healthier foods and meals. Junk food was being replaced with fruits and vegetables and chicken and fish. I didn’t add food to my diet, I changed the food in my diet. Not more, better.

Focus

Often times, one of the greatest changes we can embrace in our lives is learning where to place our focus. When I began to intentionally choose to meditate on the positives in my life rather than the negatives, I opened my heart to gratitude, contentment, and joy. This was not a result of more focus, but better focus.

Relationships

Whether we choose to spend our time with ourselves, positive influences, or negative influences, our relationships are always directed somewhere. These voices we allow into our lives impact us greatly. When I work to choose positive relationships that inspire me to contribute value to this world, it naturally changes who I spend my time with. Again, not more relationships, better relationships.

There are, of course, some elements of life that are not finite. Our capacity for love, hope, and joy will always grow as we discover more and more places to find them. But often times, this growth is not a result of choosing “more” for our lives, but choosing “better.”

9 Twitter Accounts to Encourage Simplicity

In anticipation of an upcoming post on social media, I understand the distraction that Twitter can become. Its constant stream of information can move us quickly from helpful to the very opposite of simplicity, mindfulness, and intentionality.

On the other hand, I have found it can be a valuable tool in encouraging simplicity. I have seen it be a valuable resource for connecting and drawing encouragement from like-minded individuals who are seeking a life of minimalism and simplicity. And the encouragement can be available at a moment’s notice.

With that in mind, if you are desiring to find a bit more motivation for simplicity on Twitter, here are 9 Twitter Accounts that Continue to Encourage Simplicity in My Life.

The following accounts were selected because their tweets are unique, profound, thought-provoking, and encouraging. In addition, their tweets tend to be more minimal, less self-promoting, and contain fewer personal updates.

Leo Babauta. (@zen_habits)

Happy New Year, my friends. It’s a blank slate: don’t fill it up. source
What are you grateful for today? source
Saying “Less is more” tarnishes the good name of less. source

Joshua Becker. (@joshua_becker)

Contentment is a decision. So is happiness. source
Joy is free. It won’t cost you a single penny to choose it. source
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” ― Ann Brashares source

Dave Bruno. ().

Most of the battle to simplify is knowing when to simplify. 
Consumerism’s solution to “You are not good enough” is a lie. That doesn’t mean we’re inherently good enough. 
The power of simplicity is not that it is demonstrative but that it is formative. 

Dalai Lama. (@DalaiLama)

The real source of inner strength and self-confidence is warm-heartedness. source
Through education we have to lead people to see that concern for others is actually in their own interest. source
We need to understand that material development by itself it doesn’t bring peace of mind. This can only be developed within the mind. source

Colleen Madsen. (@365lessthings)

Declutter electrical items you no longer use. They can perish over time and stop being useful to anyone. source
Mini Mission – Declutter any kitchen gadgets or utensils that didn’t get used over the holiday period. source
Mini Mission ~ Assess your cutlery. If you have more than enough to cope with a houseful of people let some go. source

Gretchen Rubin. (@gretchenrubin)

Outer order contributes to inner calm. To a surprising degree. source
Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination. source
Most things worth doing are worth doing regularly. source

The Clutter Cleaner. (@Clutter2Clean).

Make it a priority to get rid of items that actively make you unhappy and/or evoke bad memories. source
Just because you didn’t get all your decluttering done doesn’t mean you’ve failed. All progress is good! source
Don’t just get rid of things – try to figure out how to avoid acquiring them in the first place! source

Tiny Buddha. (@tinybuddha).

We have to let go of who we are to discover who we can become. source
“Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.” ~William James source
“Do not judge by appearances. A rich heart may be under a poor coat.” ~Scottish Proverb source

Zen Moments. (@Zen_Moments)

Life brings simple pleasures to us every day. It is up to us to make them wonderful memories. ~ Cathy Allen. source
The more you rejoice in the happiness of others, the more you rejoice in your own. ~ Alan Cohen source
Gratitude is riches. Complaint is poverty. ~ Doris Day source

Unless, of course, you are just looking for humor on Twitter. If so, I recommend Honest Toddler.

Love Changes Everything

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ― Lao Tzu

Love changes us. It causes us to do things we wouldn’t normally do.

Andrew Lloyd Weber, the wonderful composer, understood the significance of love. He once penned these lyrics:

Love, Love changes everything:

Hands and faces; Earth and sky.

Love, Love changes everything:

How you live and how you die.

I can also attest to the fact that love changes us—that people who are in love follow through with actions they never would have imagined.

When I was in college, my interests were narrow. I liked sports… well, and video games. But mostly sports. I enjoyed playing them. I enjoyed watching them on television. I enjoyed attending sporting events at every level: high school, college, professional. It didn’t matter the level and it didn’t matter the sport. I loved being there with the crowd, the teams, the atmosphere, the competition. It was what I loved to do with my time and my money.

But my wife, who I began dating at the time, enjoyed different things. For example, she liked the opera—which holds very little in common with a basketball game I might add. But she loved it. As a result, it wasn’t long before I attended. Additionally, I researched operas coming to town, I researched seating and prices, I purchased tickets, and I learned to appreciate the theater. I did it because I loved my wife. And love changes us. It causes us to do things we wouldn’t normally do.

In addition to the opera, I have visited in-laws on major holidays. I have sat on benches in women’s clothing stores. I have given up my umbrella during rainstorms. I have put a Stevie Wonder CD in my car’s CD player. I have spent my life’s savings on a wedding ring. And I have committed the rest of my life for richer or poorer in sickness and in health to one person, my wife, Kim. My love for her has changed me forever.

Now that I have children, I have seen my love for them change me as well. As a result, you may find me curled up in a little ball hiding in a closet waiting for my daughter to find me. You may find me curled up on a pink bed thoroughly engaged in a Junie B. Jones book. Or you may find me spending an evening at the kitchen table working on 4th grade geometry. Again, things I wouldn’t normally do.

But I do them today because I love my kids and I love my wife. And love changes everything. May it find opportunity to change you.

Image: dprotz

You Can Make a Difference

I once read a life-giving quote. It wasn’t one of those simple thoughts that sounded nice, but are devoid of true lasting change. Instead, it was a quote that stopped me in my tracks and caused me to completely reevaluate my presumptions. Unfortunately, I didn’t make note of where I saw it and am unable to locate it. But the quote went something like this:

“Before you can be successful, you must believe you can be successful.”

I find inspiration in this mantra. Now, just to be clear, it isn’t a “just embrace the power of positive thinking and become incredibly successful” inspiration. Instead, it is the type of quote that forces me to evaluate my own intentions, motivations, and thoughts.

You see, before anyone will take the appropriate steps needed to chase success, they must believe two things:

They must believe they have value to offer (e.g. a product, a service, or philosophy).
They must believe they are capable of spreading it and equipped to deliver it.

This line of thinking has forever changed my view of writing and the opportunities for influence I pursue. For most of my life, I did not believe my thoughts were worth spreading. I knew them, but didn’t think they held much value for other people’s lives. As a result, I was slow to share them and rarely looked for opportunities to introduce them to others. Simply put, I didn’t believe “success” was something I could achieve.

I was unwilling to put in the hard work and extra effort to become a person of change because I did not believe in my message and/or my ability to deliver it. The first step, then, was to simply realize I held something of value that needed to be shared.

As you seek to find significance and change this world for good, believe in your message. Believe in the good you have to offer.

It may require time and effort invested into your message to further craft it into something life-changing and inspirational. But once it is and you begin to believe that it is, you’ll find the motivation required to seek out greater opportunities to deliver it.

Image: Wolfgang Staudt

The Simple Joy of One

“Anyone with two tunics should share with him who has none.” – John the Baptist

Four years ago, we made a bold, life-changing decision. We decided to intentionally live with fewer possessions. It had become very clear to us that our clutter was stealing time, energy, and focus from our pursuits that mattered most. And removing unneeded possessions would free up precious resources and opportunity.

We started right away working through each room, closet, and drawer in our home to remove the unnecessary clutter from our home and lives.

Along the way, we began noticing a troubling trend: duplicates. In fact, we owned duplicates of nearly everything. We began to quickly realize we had bought into thinking that went like this, “If owning one of something is nice, owning more will be even better.”

But we were wrong. And lately, I have begun to intentionally embrace a new philosophy. I have begun to appreciate the simple joys of owning one.

Consider the benefits of owning just one of an item:

We own only our favorite of every object.
We take better care of our belongings.
We routinely use each of our owned possessions.
We can quickly identify what needs to be repaired or replaced.
We can easily identify the importance and purpose of each item.
We create opportunity to own higher quality items.
We find more capacity to help others with our excess.
We experience increased intentionality in our purchases and possessions.

There is indeed a peaceful joy to be discovered in simply owning one. And this principle can be applied to almost any item we own: One coat. One spatula. One mug. One pen. One set of bedding. One television. One…

Surely, the practical implications of this principle will vary from household to household. Its opportunity will play out differently in your home than mine.

But the simple joy of owning one has too quickly been forgotten. It is time we remember its simple beauty… and live less cluttered lives because of it.

Image: Zach Dischner

Simplicity Begins in Us

“Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.” – Confucius

Our relationship with ourself is the most important relationship in our life. There has never been a moment when you weren’t with you in the past and there will never be a moment when you won’t be with you in the future. We are with ourselves every moment of every day.

For some, this is a terrifying concept. They don’t like themselves and constantly wish they were someone or something different. Jealousy, envy, and discontent are common themes in their lives. And for them, simplicity is difficult to attain.

They seek out diversion and distraction. After all, if you don’t like being yourself, the television, the magazine, the iPod, or the Internet can quickly become an easy escape. This invited distraction breaks the silence and brings even more opportunity for discontent into our lives.

This is a shame. For there is great confidence to be found in contentment and solitude.

On the other hand, some embrace the other extreme. They fall so deeply in love with themselves and their own pursuits they lose all reason and objectivity. They become self-obsessed, self-absorbed, and self-seeking. As a result, they have lost all ability to think about others, admit mistakes, or show restraint. Their lives are often marked with pride, greed, and selfishness.

Again, this is a shame. For there is great strength to be found in humility and service to others.

But those who strike a balance between the two extremes are nearest to simplicity.

They learn to humbly embrace their uniqueness. They discover contentment in their circumstances. They find joy in centering their lives around others. They seek out a greater purpose than the glorification of themselves.

And for them, simplicity is nearest.

The Opportunity of Seeing the World Differently

“When old patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.” – Tuli Kupferberg

I am still amazed at the fullness of life that minimalism and simplicity offer: freedom, opportunity, meaning. I wish I had found it sooner. Unfortunately, for most of my life, I had been told something different. I had been told that joy could be found in material success—that the more I owned, the happier I would be. But they were wrong. I’m far happier today owning less than I ever was pursuing more.

Which got me wondering… what if some of the other messages I have been told are also wrong? What if some of the other views of the world promoted by our culture and society don’t actually lead to joy and fulfillment? What if true meaning and passion is found in the opposite?

What if there is unspeakable opportunity in beginning to see the world differently?

What if there is more opportunity in “desiring less” than “acquiring more?” The trouble with acquiring more is that we can never have enough. There is always more to acquire and always someone else who has already acquired it. The philosophy renders contentment unattainable. The surest pathway to true contentment is to desire less. Less brings freedom, more doesn’t.

What if there is more opportunity in “seeking justice” than “getting rich?” Cultural and individual greed have ruined friendships, exploited billions, and destroyed our planet. The desire for power, control, and resources have left many without adequate supply. But when justice is fully realized, everyone becomes more empowered—including us. Unfortunately, we can’t desire more for ourselves and justice for others at the same time.

What if there is more opportunity in “building others up” than “tearing others down?” Too often we think of life as a zero-sum game. We believe someone else must be brought down to make more room for us at the top. But it’s not true. The pie is not finite. You don’t have to blow out someone else’s candle to make yours shine brighter. In fact, some of the people who rise to the top the quickest are the very ones who helped others get there first.

What if there is more opportunity in “serving others” than “reaching for the top?” Learning to serve others flips our world upside down. Rather than striving to be the one served (and becoming frustrated when we aren’t), find freedom in learning to serve others. The quickest path to joy in life is to help someone else discover it in theirs. Their lives will be improved. And so will yours.

What if there is more opportunity in “showing mercy” than “acquiring power?” From playgrounds to boardrooms, most people are looking for any angle to lord power over others and subsequently, stepping on anyone to get there. Yet, the most fulfilled people I know live exactly the opposite. They show compassion, forgiveness, and grace toward others… even when it is within their power to punish or harm them.

What if there is more opportunity in “developing humility” than “having pride?” Humility allows us to be ourselves—we no longer need to prove to everyone that we’ve got it all together. Humility allows us to learn and grow—when we admit our weaknesses, we have taken the first step in learning to address them. And humility allows people into our lives—true, authentic friendships are not possible without the ability to be humble and completely transparent with one other.

What if there is more opportunity in “giving” than “receiving?” The bumper stickers have always said, “Whoever dies with the most toys wins.” But all scientific research indicates that generous people are happier, healthier, and live more fulfilled lives. In other words, whoever gives away the most is the real winner, not the one who stored the most.

What if this world doesn’t revolve around me after all? What if the world isn’t here to make me happier, but I am here to make this world happier for someone else? Now that, would change some things.

Declutter Your Closet with a Project 333 Experiment

“Cheerfulness and contentment are great beautifiers.” – Charles Dickens

A few years back, I experimented with reducing my wardrobe by joining Project 333.

The idea behind Project 333 is simple: Wear only 33 articles of clothing for the next 3 months. All clothing, accessories, jewelry, outerwear and shoes count towards your number. Exceptions include wedding ring, underwear, sleep wear, in-home lounge wear, and workout clothing. Clothing that no longer fits or becomes in poor condition may be replaced during the time period.

Originally, I decided to try it for a number of reasons:

I needed an extra push to reduce the clutter in my closet.
I find boundaries to be helpful in minimizing.
The project sounded both challenging and reasonable.
The Project 333 community seemed encouraging.

The project began on an October 1 and concluded on December 31. And other than a few minor exceptions (think Ugly Sweater Christmas Party), I was able to stick to the rules of 33 articles of clothing with only minimal adjustments to my weekly routine.

It became an experiment that I valued and often recommended to others. I learned some valuable lessons about boundaries over those three months.

Consider the benefits of living life within boundaries:
1. Boundaries keep us restrained.

Artificial boundaries can keep us in check when our natural self-control does not. Over the years, I had amassed a closet full of clothes – far more than I truly need. Looking back, I am embarrassed at the amount of time, money, energy, and attention devoted to my clothes.

In similar ways, the average American carries $7,200 in credit card debt and watches over 32 hours of television per week. We are in need of boundaries. Good parents set boundaries for their children… and good adults should set boundaries for themselves.

2. Boundaries force our values.

When you are challenged to pare down your clothing to 33 items, you are forced to identify which items are absolutely necessary. You are forced to single out the most important, most versatile, and most loved items. You are required to identify the most valuable things in your closet.

Similarly, boundaries in life help to force this exact same thought process. Boundaries force us to identify the difference between “really important” and only “somewhat important”  — just ask anyone who has ever been given a limited amount of time left to live.

3. Boundaries promote creativity.

Orson Wells said, “The enemy of art is the absence of limitations.” Limiting your clothing items to 33 items for 3 months forces art. Limiting your wardrobe does not rob you of personal style…it causes you to truly find it. For help getting started, try this: A Practical Guide to Owning Fewer Clothes.

4. Boundaries bring freedom.

This may sound contradictory…and depending on the exact boundaries, it may be. But in the example of clothing, I found great freedom in the project. It is a refreshing feeling to look inside a closet and see only clothes that you love. Getting ready in the morning is less time-consuming. Laundry is easier. And I saved a few dollars over the 3 months as well. The experiment granted me more time, energy, and money — the very things I was losing without it.

For me, Project 333 became something far greater than wearing fewer articles of clothing. It became about recognizing the value of boundaries. And the value of boundaries reaches far beyond our closets. It begins to spill into how we decorate our homes, the toys we buy for our children, our yarn supplies, and even how we choose to spend our time, money, and energy.

I’m glad to jump in and participate in Project 333 again for the next 3 months. Why don’t you join me? You’ll enjoy the challenge. And discover a valuable experiment to help reduce the amount of clutter in your closet.

29 Days to a Better You

“Be content with what you have, not with who you are.” 

Around the world, people celebrate today as the start of a new year. And with it, they celebrate new opportunity, new possibility, new life.

In fact, many will mark today with a New Years’ resolution: a decision to implement change and develop new, life-giving habits. I fully support them. We should always seek to improve the quality of our lives. And if our effectiveness can be enhanced, we ought to pursue it. In fact, in the past, I’ve even offered some life resolutions to consider.

As many of us seek to develop new habits in our lives, I want to encourage you with a simple formula I have used in the past. Perhaps you will find it helpful as well.

Whenever I seek to implement a positive life change, I always employ the 29 Day Experiment Method. The method originally grew out of Steve Pavlina’s 30 Days to Success… I just accidentally applied a different number of days the first time I used it.

The goal of the method is to commit your life to a desired change for just the next 29 days.

And the method is based on a very simple premise: most people will neglect to follow through on their resolutions simply because they seem unattainable. Even though we can only change one day at a time, our minds begin to talk us out of change because it seems too big for the rest of our lives. Our minds fool us by thinking, “We’ll never follow through anyway, so why start?”

To combat this mental roadblock, the 29-Day Experiment commits to only implement the desired change for a 29-day trial period. As a result, I’m not “changing my life forever.” I’m just “trying something new for the next 29 days.” You can even mark the days on a calendar if you find motivation in seeing your progress. At the end of the 29 days, you will have a significant sample size to determine if the change is right for you. And if you desire to keep it, the habit will have naturally taken root in your life.

As I mentioned, I’ve used this method numerous times in my life to spark positive change:

I used it to declutter my house… complete one project for 29 consecutive days.
I used it to get in shape… visit the gym for 29 consecutive days.
I used it to become an early-riser… wake up at 5am for the next 29 days.
I used it to become a better reader… read something each day for the next 29 days.
I used it to change my eating habits… commit to a Slow-Carb diet for 29 days.

The method has proven to work in my life over and over again. And if you determined to mark the arrival of the new year with a positive resolution for change, I think you will find success in the method too. Just commit your life to a simple 29-day experiment, you’ll be glad you did.

New Year’s Ebook Bundle Sale

The New Year’s Ebook Bundle Sale

As the new year begins, I’ll be teaming up with some of my favorite bloggers to offer Simplify as part of the New Year’s Ebook Bundle Sale. This simple sale consists of 5 wonderful resources packaged together and sold for only $7.40.

For the next week, the sale offers 5 helpful resources from 5 fantastic authors. I’m really quite pleased to be part of it and offer the sale to the Becoming Minimalist community. I think many of you will benefit from it. Additionally, the sale provides a valuable opportunity for me to introduce minimalism to a much broader audience.

Where Can I Find the Sale?

You can find out more here: New Year’s Ebook Bundle Sale.

What Books are Included?

Here are the 5 books contained in the sale:

Simplify | Joshua Becker, Becoming Minimalist. Simplify is a celebration of living more by owning less. This is a book that calls for the end of living lives seeking and accumulating more and more possessions by highlighting the enjoyment of living with less. Full of personal stories, practical tips, and powerful inspiration, Simplify is based on my rational approach to minimalism. It will forever change the way you look at physical possessions and provide you with the extra motivation to realign your life around what’s important to you.

One Bite at a Time | Tsh Oxenreider, Simple Mom. Ironically, the process of simplifying sometimes feels like more work than it’s worth, and perfection paralysis can keep us from making any progress because we’re overwhelmed by all of the possibilities! In One Bite at a Time, Tsh offers 52 ideas for simplifying your life that you can tackle in any order, at your own pace, and in a way that fits your needs. Broken down into manageable chunks, each of the ideas includes steps, tips, links, and motivation to help you slow down and simplify.

21 Days to a More Disciplined Life | Crystal Paine, Money Saving Mom. 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life is a handbook to help you create discipline habits in your life. With 21 days of exercises, Crystal helps you develop discipline in your life, one habit at a time. From identifying and prioritizing goals to overcoming obstacles and stopping the excuses, these exercises are perfect for anyone who has trouble following through or gets overwhelmed by big projects and goals!

Healthy Homemaking: One Step at a Time | Stephanie Langford, Keeper of the Home. Healthy Homemaking is a compilation of 26 practical, relevant and varied “baby steps” to take you on a one-year journey toward healthy living. Covering a broad range of topics in the areas of nutrition, cooking, green and natural living, each baby step includes a specific goal, background information and references, and specific steps to take toward that goal. The one-year format allows you to cover a wide variety of information in a systematic way without being overwhelming.

The 2013 Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner | Susan Heid, The Confident Mom. The 2013 Confident Mom Weekly Household Planner keeps busy moms from all walks of life motivated and on track with all of their to-do items day after day, week after week, all year long. Susan has done the hard work of scheduling for you, and this weekly planner breaks down all of your household tasks into manageable daily and weekly bite-size pieces, utilizing smaller increments of time to keep the tasks from becoming too large and overwhelming.

If you have interest reading any of the preceding books, you can purchase them individually by clicking through above. Or, for the next week, you can purchase them all for $7.4o. Not a bad deal if you ask me. I’m pleased to be part of it.