Joshua Becker's Blog, page 130

A Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ― Lin Yutang

It was in this video from Jeff Shinabarger that I first heard the phrase, “‘Busy’ has become the new ‘Fine’.” As in, when you ask somebody how they were doing, they used to answer, “Fine.” But nowadays, everybody answers, “Busy.”

Seemingly, busy has become the default state for too many of our lives.

But is the state of busy really improving our lives? Certainly not. Statistics indicate 75% of parents are too busy to read to their children at night. There is a rising number of children being placed in day cares and after-school activities. Americans are having a hard time finding opportunity for vacations these days. 33% of Americans are living with extreme stress daily. And nearly 50% of Americans say they regularly lie awake at night because of stress. This is a problem. We have become too busy.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Busy is not inevitable. Each of us can take intentional steps to unbusy our lives.

Consider this Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy:

1. Realize that being busy is a choice. It is a decision we make. We are never forced into a lifestyle of busyness. The first, and most important, step to becoming less busy is to simply realize that our schedules are determined by us. We do have a choice in the matter. We don’t have to live busy lives.

2. Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, directed at the wrong pursuits, it is actually a limiting factor to our full potential. It is okay to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is okay to not be busy.

3. Appreciate and schedule rest. One of the reasons many of us keep busy schedules is we fail to recognize the value of rest. But rest is beneficial to our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Set aside one day per week for rest and family. Intentionally schedule it on your calendar. Then, guard it at all costs.

4. Revisit your priorities. Become more intentional with your priorities and pursuits in life. Determine again what are the most significant contributions you can offer this world. And schedule your time around those first. Busyness is, at its core, about misplaced priorities.

5. Own fewer possessions. The things we own take up far more time and mental energy than we realize. They need to be cleaned, organized, and maintained. And the more we own, the more time is required. Own less stuff. And find more time because of it.

6. Cultivate space in your daily routine. Take time for lunch. Find space in your morning to sit quietly before starting your day. Invest in solitude, meditation, or yoga. Find opportunity for breaks at work in between projects. Begin right away cultivating little moments of space and margin in your otherwise busy day.

7. Find freedom in the word, “no.” Seneca wrote, “Everybody agrees that no one pursuit can be successfully followed by a man who is preoccupied with many things.” Recognize the inherent value in the word “no.” Learning to say “no” to less important commitments opens your life to pursue the most important.

Busy does not need to define you. Unbusy is possible. It’s okay to be happy with a calm life. And doesn’t that sound wonderful right about now?

Image: Moyan_Brenn

Leaving the World a Little Better

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” – Anne Frank

Fresh out of school at the University of Nebraska with degrees in Banking and Finance, I went to work as an intern at a large church in Omaha, NE. It was a fantastic experience. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity that I was given early in my development.

At one point, during a meeting with over 20 pastors, the Senior Pastor made a statement I remember almost 15 years later. In fact, I can still remember the room, where I was sitting, and where he was standing. He said quite simply, “I try to leave every room I enter a little bit better than how I found it.”

Not necessarily brand-new information about personal responsibility, but there was something in his sincerity that made the message stick. He continued on to list specific examples from his life about putting this into action: rooms in his house, rooms in the church, even public restrooms.

“My goal is to leave the room just a little bit nicer for the next person.”

Interestingly enough, when he was finished, he led each of the 20+ pastors outside to the parking lot where we picked up every piece of trash laying in the parking lot. Lesson learned and apparently, never forgotten.

I try to live by this principle. Granted, I don’t always succeed. But when I am mindful of my surroundings, I find it is not too difficult to complete. It takes far less energy than most people think to pick up a piece of trash, straighten some chairs, clear some clutter, or wipe down the counter in a restroom (private or public). And the benefits of this habit for others, for ourselves, and for society in general are highly significant. Every walk in the park, ride on a trail, or hike up a mountain is an opportunity to leave a place better than we found it.

But recently, I’ve been trying to be mindful of this practice not just in physical places but in each of life’s spaces as well.

Its application is possible (and beneficial) in nearly every interaction we encounter. Every relationship is an opportunity to leave others better than we found them. Every conversation at the market, library, or street corner is an opportunity to brighten somebody’s day. Every meeting or assigned project at work is an opportunity to move progress forward. Even every posting on Facebook or social media carries the same potential.

Ultimately, in the end, may our families be better because we were a part of them. May our neighborhoods and schools be better because of our involvement. And may our world be left in a better condition for future generations because we were a part of this one.

Image: kevincole

Weekend Reads

There are many wonderful people online pursuing and promoting simplicity. When you find some time this weekend with a nice cup of coffee or tea, may you find inspiration in these words as they encourage others to find more life by owning fewer possessions:

Movie Mogul Doesn’t Want to Be Paid Millions | Mail Online by Rachel Quigley. “The more I give away the wealthier I feel,” Tom Shadyac said. “For everything I ‘gave up’, so much more was returned. The trappings of fame and fortune are exactly that – a trapping. It’s called the spoils of success for a reason.”

Minimal Is Not (Necessarily) Frugal | First Today, Then Tomorrow by Randy Murray. A minimal life is not necessarily one of deprivation. On the other hand, abundance, having everything, isn’t necessarily a life of luxury.

Lessons Learned From 11 Years of Travel | Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau, who recently completed his goal to visit every country on the planet. Some valuable life lessons contained here that apply to far more than travel.

I’m Still Here: Back Online After a Year Without the Internet | The Verge by Paul Miller. A fascinating article on the positives and negatives of Internet-use, written by a man who gave it up for an entire year.

Image: rockindave1

How Minimalism Is Changing Entrepreneurship

“It is our belief that doing work you love should be accessible to anyone who is interested.”

Recently, I was fortunate to organize and present a panel at SXSW 2013 on the important topic, “How Minimalism is Changing Entrepreneurship.” I teamed up with three incredibly talented individuals (Courtney Carver, Joshua Millburn, and Ryan Nicodemus) to present the 60-minute conversation. Each have used minimalism to lay the foundation for full-time entrepreneurial work.

The result became a highly-relevant, practical, and inspirational conversation on finding work you love. And its hope-filled message continues to resonate even months after the original presentation—it ranks as one of the most-listened to presentations from SXSW Interactive 2013.

If you are interested in minimalism or entrepreneurship in any way, you’ll find great value in the conversation. You can find the entire presentation below. Then, join the discussion on Twitter, #simplework.

Highlights:

0:00 – Joshua Becker on the Importance of Minimalism

2:15   Foundation of minimalism for entrepreneurship
7:50   His specific definition and application of minimalism




11:59 – Joshua Fields Millburn on Cultivating Passion

15:10   Why finding your passion is crappy advice
18:15   The payoff of drudgery




21:35 – Ryan Nicodemus on Overcoming the Fear of Money

21:57   The human need for certainty
22:26   4 tips to making a successful transition to self-employment




28:35 – Courtney Carver on the Applications of Minimalism in Business

29:12   Overcoming 2 common challenges of entrepreneurship
36:22   Business is still conducted face-to-face




40:00 – Q&A

***

And you can find more information about bringing me to speak at your local community event or conference here: Book Joshua to Speak.

Your Voice is Your Voice. Embrace it.

“Each voice is distinct and has something to say. And each voice deserves to be heard.” ― Terry Tempest Williams

I spent far too many years of my life trying to be somebody I was not—trying to find a voice that was not mine.

Early in my life, I had a mentor with a strong, dominant, Type-A personality. His words were blunt, direct, and usually right. I was challenged and motivated by his leadership style. I matured. I became a better person. It was the voice I needed to hear during my most formative years.

As a result, when I first set out on my own, I tried to be just like him. Unfortunately, I was terrible at it. My voice is not blunt or direct—neither is my personality particulary dominant. And assuming those traits were the most effective way for me to lead others was a big mistake.

It took years for me to realize my voice is more encouraging than challenging. My personality is one of optimism that, almost to a fault, sees the good in others rather than areas for improvement. Over the years, I have learned to understand my voice and the specific ways in which I invite others to life change.

My approach is very different from the approach that taught me so much, but it is the voice I was designed to lead from. And I’m glad I’ve learned to embrace it. My only regret is that I did not find it earlier.

You are an influencer. By definition, because of your relationship with others, you have opportunity every day to influence and bring about hope and joy and meaning. Some will accomplish that with humor, others without. Some will gently encourage others toward change, others will challenge with blunt, direct language. Some will influence with facts and reason, others will influence with emotion.

But the truth is, we need all different types of voices calling this world to find simplicity. So don’t try to change yours. Find it. Embrace it. And use it for good.

Image: Alexis Fam Photography

Weekend Reads

The average American sees 5,000 advertisements per day—each communicating a message to purchase more. Here then, are just a few short messages inspiring you to purchase less. As you find a quiet moment this weekend and a warm cup of coffee, consider again the life giving opportunity of owning less.

The Life-Giving Pursuit of Minimalism | Ignite Phoenix #14 by Joshua Becker. Own less. Live more. My 5-minute case for minimalism. Watch below.

10 Life-Affirming Reasons to Embrace Simplicity | Slow Your Home by Brooke McAlary. ��Living with less stuff, less debt, less clutter means living with more freedom, more time, more joy.

Create More, Consume Less | The Minimalists by Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus. ��We’ve been so caught up in our consumeristic mindset that we’ve forgotten about our inherent need to create.

Sometimes, We Want Prices to Fool Us | The New York Times by Stephanie Clifford & Catherine Rampell. A fascinating article on the psychology of sales. Most consumers have no context for how much items should actually cost.

What Happens When You Really Disconnect | Harvard Business Review by Tony Schwartz. Overloading attention shrinks mental control.

Image: David Leggett

4 Ways Minimalism Can Improve Parenting

Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post by Mike Burns of The Other Side of Complexity.

For a number of years, my family has been pursuing a life of more focused simplicity. We realize life can be complicated. But we don’t want to just surrender to the complication. This is why minimalism has been so attractive to us.

On my blog, I document how minimalism has caused us to do all sorts of unique things:

value and maintain clutter-free spaces
get rid of 75% of our toys and games (it’s okay, the kids survived and they’re still smiling)
cut our wardrobe by more than 50%
eliminate paper clutter
whittle my collection of hundreds of books down to 18
keep only what would fit in a 6×12 trailer when we moved our family of 8 across the country

The examples above display how minimalism affects our physical “stuff.” But minimalism is about eliminating the unnecessary in order to focus on the most important. And it is a mindset that works it’s way into all areas of our lives—including our parenting.

Recently, I have been discovering how minimalism has made us better parents. And how it can improve your approach to parenting as well.

Here are 4 ways that stand out:

1. It causes you to take your parenting role more seriously.

If you’re like me, you consistently read material from people who value simplicity and minimalism. This steady diet of inspiration reminds us to prioritize and focus in the everyday moments. As parents, when we weigh the various activities and passions of our lives, our families will likely rise to the top. It is a huge responsibility and we should take it very seriously.

2. It reminds you to guard the calendar and say “no” to a lot of things.

Parents sometimes feel that we have to take our kids to every activity and enroll them in every sport. But, in case you’ve forgotten, you can’t do everything. We have to learn to say “no” to many good things so we can say “yes” to the things that are more important to us at that time. Manage your calendar well. You are the gatekeeper.

3. You begin to choose your battles more carefully.

When I say “battle”, I don’t mean to imply heated conflict. I’m referring to the issues that we “make a big deal over” as parents. I’m referring to those times when we have to decide if we are going to force our preferences about friends, clothing, music, movies, activities, language, and other things onto our kids.

Minimalists acknowledge that options are unlimited, but capacity is not. We have to choose what we give our time and energy to. In our effort to help our kids transition from dependent to independent, we have to learn to let go in appropriate areas. There are times to stand our ground, and other times when it’s not worth it.

If everything is a big deal, then nothing is a big deal.

We have to decide which things are most important in our relationships with our kids and let those drive our decisions. The secondary “clutter” issues can be very distracting, and may cost us more than they’re worth.

4. You become more focused in what you teach your children.

Truth is truth, right? But don’t let that deceive you. All truth is not equally important.

It is possible for me to pursue accurate information all my life and not find happiness and purpose. There are some things in life that are absolutely essential for my kids to learn above all else. I have to make sure that I focus my guidance on those things and help them to stand out amidst all the information that comes their way as they develop.

I have to get clear on the answer to this question: If my children only remember 1 or 2 things about what I teach them in their years at home, what do I want them to be? Then, emphasize those things in all that you say and do.

There are other certainly other ways that minimalism can affect your parenting, but these four stand out to me as the most significant.

For those of us who have children in our home, there is no denying that this is one of the greatest opportunities of our lives. And, as parents, we must do the hard work of eliminating the clutter that will hinder us from our super-important task.

Let’s do it.

***

Mike Burns blogs at The Other Side of Complexity where he writes about living a life focused on the things that are most important. You will also enjoy following him on Twitter.

Not What We Possess, But What We Pursue

“We become that which we love.” ― Saint Bridget

For too long, society has defined the good life in terms of physical possessions. We have been told happiness is found in big houses, new cars, fashionable clothing, and full closets. As a result, we spend much of our lives pursuing possessions seeking this promised happiness in them.

But fullness of life is not found in the things we possess. Consider for just a moment the foolishness of defining the good life in terms of physical possessions:

Possessions often ebb and flow. As recent years have proven, financial success is often at the mercy of a national economy and increasingly, a world economy. When the economy takes a downturn (as it always does), so must the good life.

Possessions are often arbitrary. Not always, but often, the amount of possessions we own is a product of our environment. Those who grow up in a first-world country have a greater advantage than those who grow up in a third-world country. Even within those individual countries, some will inherit large sums of money and personal goods from their parents, others will not. Either way, using such an arbitrary system to define the potential for happiness is unwise on almost every level.

Possessions never satisfy our greatest needs. Possessions never fully satisfy the inmost desires of our soul. They never have. And they are not about to start. In fact, most of the time, they distract us from the very things that do bring our lives fulfillment.

Possessions are never enough. I have met people with more physical possessions than they could ever need and yet, they still desire more. Those who define the good life in terms of wealth and possessions will never find it. You can never find enough happiness in things that were never designed to provide it.

But our lives are not defined by the things we possess, our lives are defined by the things we pursue.

It is not our possessions, but our pursuits that bring definition to our lives. Consider the reality that what we desire most influences nearly everything about us: how we spend our money, our time, our energy. It provides motivation for our day. It dominates our thinking. It defines our view of success.

This is good news. No matter the current circumstances of our lives, we can choose to pursue anything we desire. We can define our lives by our decisions each morning. And those who choose to pursue things of lasting value and significance can find lasting fulfillment and purpose regardless of how much they possess.

So, by all means possible, choose your pursuits wisely. Pursue beauty, faith, hope, love, justice, significance, and contribution. Pursue opportunity to improve this world for somebody else. And realize again our lives are too valuable to waste chasing possessions.

Image: marcelometal

Minimalism: Addition not Subtraction.

“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” — Hans Hofmann

Four years ago, my neighbor looked on as I pulled item after item out of my garage. Winter had ended in Vermont and our Saturday morning had been committed to spring cleaning around the house. I chose the garage. Unfortunately, minutes turned into hours. And hours turned into most of the morning and into the afternoon.

Fortunately, my neighbor noticed my frustration and introduced me to a brand new way of life when she asked quite simply, “Maybe you don’t need to own all this stuff?”

And a minimalist was born.

Starting immediately, and for the next months (and even years), my wife and I began systematically removing unnecessary possessions from our home. We sold, donated, or recycled items from nearly every aspect of our lives: clothes, toys, decorations, cookware, entertainment, sporting goods, furniture, storage—the list goes on. Eventually, even moving into a smaller house.

As a result, we have discovered some amazingly practical benefits to owning less. We have more money left in our pockets. We have more time available at our disposal. We have removed ourselves from the consumer-driven culture around us. We experience less stress on a daily basis. And we have discovered more freedom to pursue the things in life that we truly value.

Because we have chosen to live with less, we have found more opportunity to invest in relationships, grow spiritually, experience gratitude, express generosity, discover truth, and find contentment. With our newfound time, money, and energy, we are free to pursue our greatest passions.

An important realization quickly followed. Minimalism is less about the things you remove and more about the things you add. The joy of minimalism lies in what you choose to pursue with your life rather than material possessions. And in that way, minimalism is far more about addition than it is about subtraction.

Image: *m5

Speak Joy

“In every encounter we either give life or we drain it; there is no neutral exchange.” - Brennan Manning

Seth Godin, who I enjoy reading, once wrote, “If you come to my brainstorming meeting and say nothing, it would have been better if you hadn’t come at all. Not adding value is the same as taking it away.” In Seth’s context, he was writing about business and organizational contribution. But the thought holds true for each of our interpersonal relationships as well.

Not adding value to the people and the conversations around us is the same as taking it away.

For one reason or another, we have been brought into the lives of the people around us. Sometimes we are involved in their lives because of choice (a spouse, a friend), sometimes because of a mutual interest (groups, clubs, churches), other times the nature of our relationship may be out of our control (work, assigned groups). But regardless of the nature of each relationship, we have a unique opportunity to add value.

There is incredible potential in the words we use to speak hope and joy and peace into the people around us. We need to be reminded of this truth often. And it should impact our approach to nearly every conversation we enter into.

Correctly understood, this simple, profound thought calls us to be more intentional, more thoughtful, and more persistent. It calls us to speak joy and contribution into our relationships whenever possible. It invites us to:

Speak with optimism. Optimism always lays a foundation for hope.

Give more compliments. Genuine words of praise are powerful. Yet, too few.

Draw on past experiences. Because of your history, you have learned unique life lessons—some have been positive, some have been negative. But nobody else in the entire world has had the same experiences as you. Draw on them. And when they are helpful, pass along the lessons you have learned.

Learn to listen. Every story is unique. Every life circumstance is different. The first step in adding value to another person’s life is to correctly understand their worldview and situation.

Ask more questions. Asking questions communicates interest, concern, and care. Plus, you can learn a lot about a person by simply letting them speak uninterrupted.

Earn the right to speak. Live an others-centered life seeking to put others first with your actions. You earn a far-weightier right to speak improvement into other’s lives after you prove with your actions that you genuinely desire to help them. Words are cheap. Actions reveal our true motives.

Speak always in love. All truth—even the most difficult—can be communicated with love. In fact, the more difficult the truth, the more love is required.

Our lives hold great potential. So do our words. What you say matters, choose wisely. And speak joy.