BethAnn Buehler's Blog, page 5

Oh, How Blessed...

It dawns on the hubster and I that we never grieved moving our one and only to college. We didn’t have that “coming home to an empty house experience” because it didn’t happen that way for us. My mom was home waiting on us with our little girls that Wednesday evening and seven hours later, a moving crew showed up. Honestly, it feels like we little more than napped once in the old house after the kiddo moved then we were on our way as well.Having the kiddo home for fall break was an amazing whirlwind sixty-seven hours but we managed to fit nearly everything in (and planned some of Christmas break for those things we couldn’t)! Sleeping in the new room, shopping, traffic, new guitars and new music test tracks, Post Malone in concert, good food, and our ritual toast to Jim Morrison. The ride home from the airport yesterday was filled with tears and when we got home, it hit us—it was our day, the one where we came home and realized our precious kiddo is really moving on.I was such a mess when we got home I decided to tackle the shrub rose I've ignored for the past month, pruning through the waterworks, my mind running over eighteen and half years of parenting fails and triumphs. I was lost in my thoughts when I looked up and saw the sun shining through to a perfect bloom and I couldn't help but smile. Oh, how blessed we are to be this kiddos' parents. We’re amazed by him and in awe of all he’s doing but we miss him like mad times ten. This house is way too quiet without him here and no, I don’t know when I’ll go up and make his bed. I actually kinda like seeing it messy! Let the countdown to the holidays begin because we’re ready for him to come back!  #UpsizedDown  #ATLOTPDays43thru45 #BuehlerLife

A Little Paint...

If you haven’t moved in awhile, you might have forgotten that oh so funny thing that happens when you start to think about actually hauling your stuff to a new space. Someday science is going to have to explain to me why from the moment we started looking at new homes my brain took over and started decorating each and every one because that’s exactly what happened in all eighteen homes we toured with the amazing Lisa Terminello Cea. My brain hit hyperdrive when I stepped into this house and the hubster can attest I had the place decorated in my head before the ink was dry on the offer. And now here we are. My brain is tired and reality is calling the shots and it turns out my stuff and my brain aren’t only on different pages, they aren’t even reading the same book! I had this place set just so in my mind at least a million times before Lisa handed me the keys but now things I used to love don’t fit and things I thought were headed for the first truck out of here are centerstage.Such is the case with the safety pin. It was fun in the old house and I didn’t mind it being a too bright shade of yellow to go with anything but I knew it wasn’t making the cut for the move. Then it showed up on the truck and made it into the house and I’ve literally been kicking it around for thirty four days. I’ve made dozens of trips to the thrift store with donations in the past month and why that silly pin never made it into the car is beyond me but I’m so grateful it’s still here. And while I’m no James Hall or anything, I do have to say I wielded a can of spray paint like a boss today. My big yellow safety pin that I liked but was ready to part with is now shiny silver and I love it (not to mention I'm thrilled to have another space almost done. I'll add a few more pics below). #ATLOTPDayThirtyFive #UpsizedDown #BuehlerLife

Never Alone...

When you feel alone it’s easy to convince yourself that you really are alone. One of the lies I’ve told myself throughout this gigantic transition we’ve been in is that I’ve lost all my friends. The truth is I haven’t lost my friends. Not by a long shot. I’ve just lost proximity to my friends. Oh how I wish my feeble little brain would catch the difference some days!  Our family and friends have been amazing throughout this slog to a new normal and YOU continue to be amazing every single day. You have called me and made connections for me and emailed me and texted me and I’ve even FaceTimed with several of you (is that not the weirdest sentence ever-turning text and FaceTime into verbs in this new crazy world we live in)?!I’m sorry I’ve been a little quieter than usual and I appreciate so many of you checking on me. Here’s the official update—we are doing well. Our kiddo is happy and healthy and loving college life but best of all-he’ll be here to visit in 10 days! The hubster is thriving in his new environment and he truly loves the work that he’s doing. And, we’re officially out of boxes! It’s been rough because let me tell you, 15,383 pounds of stuff is no laughing matter. But the big things are set and while the little things are all over the place, I’ve come to peace with it. It won’t be like this forever and small areas are coming together each and every day. As for me, setting up home and creating new work flows and routines has been my number one priority these past few weeks but I’ve made time to go to a couple of DAR events (where I met some amazing new ladies!), have lunch with a new friend, and I haven’t needed to use GPS in a week! I was able to meet up with one of my closest friends for a fun afternoon (we met halfway in the mountains of northern Georgia) now that we’re only three hours apart! I’ve also unpacked all of my craft supplies and have my studio 75% back together. After losing all of my creative mojo for more than three months, I can feel the creative energy starting to flow so I’m hopeful brighter days are ahead.I’m so grateful for each of you and know to my core that I’m blessed to have you in my life. #UpsizedDown #ATLOTPDayLostCount #BuehlerLifeP.S. I may have found a breakfast spot. We’re having a second date this morning. I’ll let you know how it goes…

Fight Club...

Turns out I’m not the only one stressed over this move. The sisters got into a bit of a scrum this afternoon (I’m pretty sure this one didn’t know she was playing) resulting in a torn eyelid and scratched cornea. Hello anti-inflammatories, antibiotics, and cone of sham, which stinks because it was 100% not her fault (not to mention it’s not the way I wanted to meet the new vet)! #BuehlerLife #DayStupidMove #FightClubBlazie

Broken Things...

I’ve heard a lot of phrases used to describe moving and I’ll admit, from these angles moving can seem exciting and maybe even a touch glamorous. A fresh start. A new space. A blank canvas. A new chapter. A new adventure. I’m finding a bit of all of these things to be true.

But there are downsides to moving that aren’t as exciting to talk about—stress, upheaval, chaos, exhaustion. While we had a terrific driver and a great loading crew, turns out our packing crew left a little to be desired and so for us I think the word that sums up our move thus far is damage. To a degree we’ve been able to laugh and shake off some of what we’ve uncovered because it’s just stuff (like the now square wreath). But my office has been another story and I can assure you there’s been no laughter there.

Below is my most recent communication with our moving coordinator...

“I appreciate you taking the time to speak with me this morning. I’m glad I called you when I did because I’ve been crying as things have gone rapidly downhill since those first few boxes. I appreciate you forwarding the claim form and I will do my best but I want you to know that I do not know how to put a price on profound sadness. And I don’t know how to put a price on things that no amount of money can replace. And I don’t know how to put a price on opening boxes filled with candy wrappers and used tissues and seeing things that I love thrown about like they were going to a rummage store. I am heartbroken.” #ATLOTPDayWhatever #BuehlerLife#UpsizedDown

Shine...

If you listen closely, it’s easy to find people talking about stuff. “I have too much stuff, I need to clean out my stuff, I’m going to get more stuff, I have the wrong stuff, I have old stuff, I need new stuff, I can’t find my stuff, someone gave me stuff...” In our case, I know exactly how much stuff we have because it’s been packed and weighed and documented. 15,383 pounds. In the last several days I’ve become more intimately acquainted with these 15,383 pounds than I knew possible and I’ve learned more about space than I ever wanted to know. Things like we have a 4X larger pantry but we lost four big kitchen drawers. We have a third car garage and a loft but we no longer have a basement. Stuff. 15,383 pounds of it was hauled off a truck and scattered everywhere around me and I have to admit, it was overwhelming. And then I remembered my thing. I decided to carry one thing with me to set up in the midst of the chaos that might make me smile because while this transition is exciting, it’s also very hard. My thing is a flash forward of sorts, a look at where I’m headed in this next season, and several times throughout the day when I passed by the room where it sat, I couldn’t help but smile and remember the goal amidst the mayhem. Clearly my thing resonated with our moving crew, too, as at different points throughout the day each of the guys mentioned it, offering a “that’s neat, that’s cool, that’s cute.” Stuff has power. It can change us, divide us and connect us, weigh us down or lift us up. What I know for sure is in this new space I want my stuff to exist so that the people I love can be comfortable and well cared for. #ATLOTPDayTwelve #UpsizedDown #FewerBetterThings #BuehlerLife

SappyLand...

#ATLOTPDayTenPartOne...
Taking our last load from the tiny place and saying goodbye! #NoMoreTempHousing #ByeBye1205 












#ATLOTPDayTenPartTwo...We are the proud owners of a new home in Lawrenceville Georgia(about 18 miles from Atlanta proper). It’s our dream home, exactly what we would’ve built had we designed it ourselves, and we couldn’t be happier to be able to settle in and start this new adventure. But we couldn’t be sadder that we finally have the perfect place for our family and friends to gather and many of you are eight hours away. We’re camping on the air mattress tonight in what will become my office in the morning and I can’t help but think that if this home was in Indy, we’d be having a party and so many of you would be with us. I’m not sure why things happen the way they do but I’m trusting God to help me see the path in the coming days and weeks. #LoveThePlace #MissMyPeeps#Sappyland

The New Space...

#ATLOTPDaySevenandEight were a tear filled blur so we’re moving on. And speaking of moving, #ATLOTPDayTen is the day! I was blessed to be able to walk through our new house this afternoon for final inspection and the visit confirmed what we felt the previous times we were in the space—it’s going to be an awesome place for our family and friends to gather and we can’t wait for you to come visit! In other news, I haven’t found a good mom and pop breakfast spot yet but there’s a Cracker Barrel which means biscuits and dumplings (which I fear I’m starting to resemble) so there’s that. And I haven’t gotten lost and I didn’t even use GPS today. I also found a terrific countdown app that helps me look forward to good things on the horizon. I’m not sure what’s in store for me and I miss my work and my peeps more than I thought possible but both of my boys are so happy it’s hard for me not to be happy, too. So I’m living in what I call SappyLand, that sad happy place where I can cry while smiling because that’s how life is right now. #LastNightInTempDiggs #CountingTheDays #ATLOTPDayNine

The Gap...

I woke up this morning with the realization that I’ve been scared of not being busy enough during this gap phase of life I find myself living. As a result, I think I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to find things to do in an effort to try and outrun the quiet. I’m used to being busy and I like it that way. Up until a couple of weeks ago I had a full time job I adored (being a mom) and meaningful work I engaged in outside my four walls and I greatly miss both. Being downsized is hard. Waiting is hard. Starting over is hard. Justifying how you spend your time can be hard. So today I embraced exactly where I am in the gap and I didn’t worry about how much I should do or what I should get accomplished. I let myself wander without direction (See what I did there? I can’t get lost if I don’t worry about directions!) and I found one of the things I’ve been looking for (and rather despondent about not finding) — new breakfast spots! I know some of you will be lost as to why this matters but for all of my breakfast pals out there this will resonate — I haven’t been out to breakfast in over a week! I’m terrible at slowing down but I’m smart enough to know when God’s trying to get my attention. Hitting pause today and listening has been good medicine. #LeaningIntoTheGap #Redemption#BreakfastIsLife #BaconMatters #ATLOTPDayFive

Cloud Cars...

That bank that took me no time to find on Monday? It took me forty eight minutes today from the same starting point. Everything is starting to look familiar which means I was a little overconfident today and know just enough to be dangerous. Which means I got myself lost but good. I even confused Google maps and Waze and had to pull into a parking lot and turn everything off for a hard reset. Worse, I forgot the way to the cupcake store so I couldn’t even drown my sorrows. Trust me, this cute little cloud car is not your friend! These are some of the tough days I knew would come. The gap as we’ve taken to calling it. The novelty of tiny apartment living has worn off, I’m sick of exploring since I’m on the opposite side of town from our new house so it doesn’t really count, and we still have five days to go. Sitting at a traffic light after I got myself straightened out, I let out a sigh and reminded myself that this won’t last forever and in a few days I’ll get to go home. And then I had the sinking realization that this isn’t some extended vacation and I am home. On the up side the lady at the bank gave me a hug but then again people tend to do that when you’re paying them so I don’t think it counts like I needed it to.  #DayFourSucks #Homesick#MissingMyFriendsAndFamily #CloudCarsAreStupid. #ATLOTPDayFour