BethAnn Buehler's Blog, page 2

Step Up and Grow...

I’m learning to prune like the rain is coming, even on the sunny days.

When we moved to Atlanta in September of 2019, a lot of the summer blooming was done. Although we experienced a very hot fall that year, things were also starting to rest and you could feel the pull towards fall in the air. I’d never experienced the dense vegetation of the humid South, so I didn’t know much of what was in my own backyard, but I knew this girl the minute I saw her. A knockout floribunda. She continues to be my favorite. 

As I studied this plant and learned more about her in an effort to try to help her be the best she could be, I realized that a lot of caring for a floribunda was going to be falling to climb. To help her thrive, I had to cut away far more than I wanted to so she could come back healthy and strong the next bloom. She and I had a bit of trial and error and I was too easy on her at first. And then rain came and it was as if mother nature laughed at me when I stepped outside the next morning and the precious limbs I couldn’t bear to prune the day before were waterlogged, bent, and broken. I thought I’d lost her and I was devastated. So I dropped back and cut deeper. And I looked at her with more judicious eyes in an effort to help her be her best. It was hard and there were days she looked naked and exposed and looking back, it turns out I felt the exact same way. 

My floribunda has taught me that I can grow in any condition. Through depression. Loneliness. Through isolation, betrayal, and hurt. And she’s also shown me that those things don’t help me thrive. Thriving takes different conditions all together. Thriving takes a hard look at the situation. Careful, prayerful, thoughtful studying. And thriving takes action. And sometimes thriving takes a bravery we don’t know we possess until it’s time to step up and grow.

Lesson Learned...

I'm incredibly grateful for this little sweetheart today because Georgia weather knows how to throw a punch! We’ve been without power since 430a but we aren’t out of the game (even though it sounds like Armageddon outside right now!) because this work horse is keeping the things I need running strong. If an alternate power source is an issue for you, I highly recommend checking out EcoFlow. This was our lesson learned after Hurriance Zeta blew through our neighborhood last November as a strong tropical storm. Sure, we’re on the waiting list for a Generac but I don’t wanna be in the dark while we wait and this won’t break the bank. Delta is also portable so I can take Bad & Co. on the road if I need to get to someone I love who isn’t nearby!  

Back to School...

Classes start Monday for me and who doesn’t enjoy a fresh bouquet of back-to-school notebooks? I originally thought I’d get my feet wet by taking two classes but I came home from Indy feeling like my brain needed a challenge so I changed my mind and four it is. And now I have a shiny new notebook for each, which totally feeds my OCD.

The Birthday Boy...

20 years ago this amazing creature blew into my life and nothing has been the same since that rainy Thursday all those years ago. He was three weeks early and I always joke it was because he had an agenda. After all, this is the kiddo who looked at me when he was 18 months old, promptly pulled his pacifier from his mouth and said “Mommy, I have a situation I would like to discuss.” I kid you not. This kid makes the world a better place just by being in the room. He’s always known exactly what he wanted, and what he didn’t, and he’s working hard to get there. Watching him grow is the joy of my life. Happy birthday, babe! 

Brett...

 

Brett Alan Patterson of Lebanon, IndianaJuly 11, 1966 - April 4, 2021

Brett Alan Patterson, 54, of Indianapolis, IN, died at his home in Lebanon on April 4th, 2021.

Always one to lend a helping hand, Brett loved to volunteer in his community, cook for his neighbors, and worry about others. While he enjoyed country music and March Madness, baseball was his first love. 

Brett is survived by his daughter, Skaiste Patterson (Miami, FL), his parents Bobby Patterson and Barbara Hatfield Newsom, his step parents Jackie Patterson and Dale Newsom, and his sister BethAnn Patterson Buehler, her husband Bradley, and nephew Braden. 

Family will receive friends from 2:00pm - 4:00pm Friday, April 9 at Forest Lawn Funeral Home, 1977 S. State Road 135, Greenwood, IN  46143, with service to follow at 4:00pm.

In lieu of flowers, Brett’s parents would kindly ask that you make a donation in Brett’s name to the Humane Society for Boone County: https://www.hsforbc.org/about-us.html

Big Brother...

We are chin deep in grief and swimming as fast as our broken hearts will allow as we make plans to lay my first friend, my big brother, to rest. Losing Brett was unexpected and we are devasted. Please be patient with us as we process these next few days and please pray for us. I promise I will update when I’m able.

Zero Things...

 Zero things.

Not the packing…

Not the last minute checklists…

Not the watching weather in four cities…

 

It’s “headed back to college” eve and I’ve been a teary mess all afternoon.  We’ve had such a wonderful break and it’s been a blessing to have extended time due to classes being online.  I know I have to let him go and I know he’s ready.  Now if I could just get the message through to my heart…

A New Word of the Year...

Our word of the year for 2020 was Adventure. What a terrible choice, right? We had too much adventure last year, most all of it the wrong kind, and while we know better than to wish time away, our family has enjoyed a much needed fresh start this month.

Yet now we find ourselves here, planning the kiddo’s return to school in a few short days and my heart is aching. I’ve been blessed to have him home since December 21st and I’ll admit it, I’m spoiled. Our word for 2021 is Impact and that’s what I feel I’ve been able to have with the kiddo home-an impact in his daily life. 2020 left him isolated, off balance, and blown a bit off course as a result. He’s been able to rest here, to ‘close both eyes’ I always joke. He’s been able to reset here. And given the state of the world, I feel like he’s been safe here. Soon it will be too quiet here. And it will be too quiet back at school in a totally different way. This isn’t how we thrive so it all feels wrong; itchy and uncomfortable and unwanted. But we remain determined to lean into our word. The one we chose together from a long list we created, debated, and discussed at length over several days before we rang in 2021. Which means I’ve got three days to continue making memories and having a meaningful impact before I have to say ‘see you later’ and pray it’s enough to carry us all through til spring. #BuehlerLife

I'm No Good at Goodbye...

I met my husband on an airplane in December of 1992. You heard that right. We were seat mates on a flight from Philly to Indy for Christmas break, both of us traveling home to see family. But the story doesn’t end there. We talked the whole way and I asked the cute guy next to me if he wanted to meet for drinks at some point during the week but he didn’t take me up on the offer. To this day he reminds me that he’s shy (and I’m not) and he didn’t want to get stood up. We didn't exchange numbers (I'm not sure why but I didn't own a cell phone back then. Remember the bag brick? He got me one that January!) I chalked our meeting up to happenstance and remember telling my folks about the guy I met on the plane. But the story doesn’t end there.

A week later I stepped on a plane at the Indianapolis International airport and was looking for my seat when I saw someone waving me down. You know that ‘both arms in the air, I’m here, I’m here’ wave that’s hard to miss? It was that cute boy. Yep. We were on the same flight back to Philly. I know what you’re thinking. What are the odds? I actually looked it up once and at the time, the odds were less than .0001% that you’d meet your spouse on an airplane. You think I would’ve been smart enough to know that given I met my husband on an airplane twice, airplanes would become part of our story, right? Nope. Not this girl.I never thought about airplanes much beyond our story but now people coming and going has become the backdrop of my life and I feel a little guilty saying that I hate airports but I do. I guess what I really mean is that I hate return trips.I want everyone to come and stay because I’m sick of telling all the people I love goodbye in a cold, sterile environment with strangers staring at me while I cry and drag out my ‘until next time’ speech. #StupidAirports #MissMyPeeps

Back Home Again...

The kiddo is flying back to Indiana today from a quick visit and the pang in my heart is overwhelming. This kid makes everything better when he’s in the room and I miss him fiercely. I’d planned for a sixty-four mile distance between us and ended up with five hundred and thirty six. I don’t love math but even I know that’s quite a difference.

If I were an hour away instead of ten, I know there’d be the occasional dinner in the middle of the week, drop-ins to the house for whatever once in a while, weekend visits to see the puppies now and then, and meet-ups halfway in between for coffee on the tough days.
Instead we have airline reservations, drawn out goodbyes where I try not to cry and he smiles and waits patiently for me to steal just one more hug, triple checks that he hasn’t forgotten anything since he won't be back for months at a time, wishes that we’d added another day to his stay, and drives to the airport that go way too quickly although traffic is often stopped.I’m always surprised that while thirty-one years separate us, when we share the stories of our days in the life with one another, his perspective regarding whatever is going on--with himself or his friends, with me, his dad, our families, the world… All I can say is that he never ceases to amaze me and he teaches me something every time we’re together.This kid is the absolute best part of us. The smartest, funniest, truest version of us and I adore him.I’ll survive these next few months watching him grow and flourish, cheering from the sidelines because that’s the job. And I’ll continue to try to live my best life when we can’t be together, because that’s also part of the job. But I make no promise about counting down the days until we can be together again. #HomeIsWhereTheMomIs #buehlerlife